Real dates. Real people. Real love.
“18 Tips to Rock Real Life Dating”
Congratulations! You did yourself a favor by grabbing this complimentary guide. It
contains tips from our dating coaches that you can start applying immediately. If
you keep an open mind and truly embrace the insight outlined here, you could be
on your way to attracting the person and love you desire.
Each of the sections in this guide are presented by different dating coaches. If you
are interested in learning more about their services and programs, click their
corresponding link. And, don’t forget to tell them that Love FrogKisser sent you!
Lastly, please remember that you are worthy of unconditional love. That is what
the ultimate end goal is. Now, let’s get started!
“Top 3 Mistakes to NEVER Make on a First Date!” Amie
Leadingham, Certified Master Relationship Coach
Amie Leadingham is a Certified Master Relationship Coach. She provides
a Conscious Dating Program that is hand tailored to match each client’s
dating and relationship needs. Through her coaching process, singles
discover: clearly defined values they want in a life partner, create a vision
their ideal relationship, and empower a new positive mindset that helps
them attract and keep the love they deserve. Amie Leadingham was
named one of LA’s best dating coaches for 2014 by DatingAdvice.com.
There’s something about first dates that just seems to make them so much more
memorable than any other date we have. Maybe because we have so many of
them and they tend to run the gamut of fun, enlightening, weird, scary, and WTH!
I know I’ve had plenty of first dates in my lifetime and they definitely fell into all
of the above.
The problem is if you want to find true love then you need that first date just like
you need air to breathe. First dates are just inevitable whether you like them or
not.
When you go on a first date and your goal is to try to make a real love connection
you want to make sure you put yourself in the best opportunity to succeed. To do
that you have to make sure your first date doesn’t crash and burn so you can
move on to date #2. That’s why as a Master Certified Relationship Coach I want to
offer up my TOP 3 MISTAKES TO NEVER MAKE ON A FIRST DATE.
1) Choosing the wrong venue - Most people don’t think about this too much
when they date, but the location you end up going on for your first one is
really affected by the venue. For example, studies have shown that when
adrenaline is added to a date, the attraction level actually goes up.
In one study by David Givens, Ph.D., an anthropologist at the Center for
Nonverbal Studies, men met women on a bridge high above rushing water,
what he learned is that subjects were more attracted to each other than
those who met elsewhere. This doesn’t mean you must go bridge jumping
or skydiving to get that second date, but what it does indicate is that you
should do your best to add fun and excitement to your date.
At its core, first dates are about getting to know one another, but the
underlying current is really about establishing a connection. So when you
fire up both the “fun” and “chemistry” cylinders simultaneously, the
chances for a great first date will increase dramatically.
On the other side of the dating venue coin, sedentary, static dating venues
(aka movies, plays, etc.) where there’s limited time for talking and/or
activity should be avoided if possible. Try to hit the higher activity venues
like communal or exotic restaurants (think Ethiopian food), rock climbing at
an indoor facility, bowling, driving range or miniature golf.
2) Not understanding the ‘Art of Conversation’ - Almost all dates begin and
end with what you say and how you communicate with your date. So you
want to make sure you don’t blow it by not following some basic
conversation rules.
- ASK QUESTIONS - Asking questions is not only a dating tool; it’s a life
tool. Studies have shown that people are attracted to people who show
an interest in the, but remember this is a conversation not an
interrogation.
- BE A GOOD LISTENER - The talking gene is one of those things that keep
so many good women from achieving what they want out of love.
Women who are good listeners have a huge advantage over their
talkative competition.
- GOOD CONVERSATION IS ABOUT BALANCE – If you talk for more than a
few minutes in a row, then it’s time to ask a question. If you have asked
three or more questions in a row and your date asks none back, then
you should change things up and offer up stories or info about yourself.
- SWEARING AND OFF-COLOR HUMOR ARE OK (TO A POINT) - Polls have
shown that people who swear a lot turn people off. That being said, a
real person knows their room (aka date and/or venue) more than
anything else and swearing or making off-color remarks does NOT
necessarily mean you will turn someone off if you are in the right
setting. It might show you are fun, confident, and carefree.
3) Caring too much about the outcome - Do you know what almost always
ranks as the most attractive trait someone can have? It’s not their body, or
their intelligence, or their ability to tie a cherry stem into a knot with their
tongue... It’s “Confidence”. And this confidence can be built up by letting go
of the outcome of your dates. Simply put, you lower the expectation if the
date will go well or not because in the end you know if this one doesn’t
work out the next one, or the next one after that, will.
If you enter into every date with an attitude that says, “I will have fun and if
they like me, great, if they don’t, that’s their loss and I will find someone
else,” then the confidence will ooze out of you and do the very thing you
want, attract your date.
Click here to visit Amie’s Website
"5 Powerful Tips to Get Ready for Love Now" Jess
Tomlinson, Radiant Love Coach
Jess Tomlinson is a Radiant Love Coach who supports singles so that
they can attract the Big Meaningful Love they deserve.Unlike most
relationship coaches, Jess doesn't push her clients into online dating,
but instead, teaches people how to do things "the old fashioned way”
- through compassionate communication and vulnerability.
Jess has been featured for her expert advice on multiple media
interviews including WNPR alongside Byron Katie and live TV for
Las Vegas' NBC affiliate. She was also named one of Las Vegas' top 5
Empowered Entrepreneurs in Luxury Las Vegas Magazine.
1. It’s okay to feel my feelings.
Most people don't deal with their emotions from previous relationships and
heartbreak and this is a ripe recipe for failure in your next relationship. Whether
you were the one who ended the relationship, or you were the one who was
broken up with, breakups are rough. It’s extremely important to clear out your
past baggage from all previous relationships (no matter how long ago they were)
so that you don't bring it into your next relationship. Once you process your
emotions and actually feel your feelings about how the relationship ended, you
can more easily let go of that relationship and welcome in the love you deserve.
Exercise: Write an angry letter. If it feels right, address it to your previous partner.
You won't be sending this to them. Don’t be PC about it. Let 'er rip. Then rip up
that letter.
2. I am not my past.
Get really honest with yourself about what you really desire in love and
relationships NOW. Clarity is what will lead you into noticing when the love you
deserve shows up. It’s not dependent on the past. Sometimes we can get
addicted to the past. We are searching for someone like our previous partner. Or
a love that makes us feel a similar way. Because we can get hooked into the past,
when we find something familiar to a previous relationship, we say, "this is right,
this is what I am looking for." The important thing is to explore outside of the
familiar so you can experience what actually might feel good. What you really,
really want and deserve.
Exercise: Ask yourself, "How do I want to feel in love and a relationship?" Beyond
'happy' and 'good' - get specific. Write down all of those desired feelings. Circle
the top two. Once you know those two that are most important, notice if people
help you feel this way when you are exploring potential romantic partners.
3. This happened for me and not to me.
Love can be frustrating at times. Okay, it can be downright difficult! So...what do
you do when you feel defeated? When you're tired of striking out or of "playing
the game?" One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is using every situation
in dating and love as a reason why it won't work for them. This immediately takes
you out of the game. And guess what? If you're not in the game, you can't score
the Big Meaningful Love you deserve. By simply changing your mentality to view
things as always being in your favor (versus against you), you will not only stay
open to receiving the love you deserve but your positivity will make you much
more attractive!
Exercise: Next time you feel defeated and are ready to give up, ask yourself "Why
is this happening FOR me - and not to me?" By doing this you take the focus off of
you and instead, get to see the gift of why this may have happened.
4. My greatest weakness is my greatest strength.
We have a tendency to go into the dating/love arena with our armor on. We act
stronger than we are. Pretend things don't matter to us or affect us. The reality is
that we are human beings with big tender hearts. In our society, weakness is
looked down upon. So we think we should be strong all the time. However,
strength can just be a cover up to protecting our hearts. Instead, meet each other
in vulnerability (which can feel like weakness). Give people a peek into your heart,
your ugly parts, your dreams. It may feel scary, but this place of vulnerability is
the only place that real connection can be born. Only through what is perceived
as a weakness can we open up to let the love in.
Exercise: List the things you consider as your weaknesses. How do they serve you?
What is the gift in that weakness? How might this weakness actually be beautiful?
For example, If you feel like you are too emotional...the gift you may get from this
perceived weakness is your ability to feel very deeply. Perhaps you are sensitive
to others. You care. These are beautiful strengths.
5. I am worthy of the love I want.
You. Are. Worthy....of all the love you desire. I believe it for you. Do you believe it
for yourself? If you don’t feel worthy of love then you won’t be able to receive the
love you deserve. We block anything we don’t feel worthy of. It's a way that we
"protect" ourselves. But in the end, it's self sabotage, because what we really
crave is Big Meaningful Love with an amazing partner. If you don't feel worthy of
love, love is not going to feel worthy of you. Oftentimes, we separate ourselves
from other people. We categorize ourselves as "less than" because of our past,
our choices, how we grew up, the way we have lived our life. It doesn't matter
who you are or where you come from...simply because you were born, you are
worthy of love. You don’t have to do anything. You can just be and be good
enough. And the person who is worthy of you will recognize this.
Exercise: Each morning when you wake up, put your hand over your heart and say
"I am loved, I am loving, and I am being loved." This simply act of self love will
remind you of your worthiness, increasing your self confidence and making you
much more attractive!
Click here to visit Jess’ Website
“Date Like a French Lady” Dr. Fab Slama,
Emotional Healing Therapy & Happiness Specialist
Fab is the founder of FabYOUlicious a Life passion and date
coaching service focusing on supporting women who feel
unworthy of love after a divorce, helping them feel self
confident, put sexy into their life and support them to approach
the world of dating with excitement instead of fear. She is also
the author of Renaissance Woman: A feminine midlife crisis
from loss of identity to rebirth, a book helping all women lost
in midlife crisis to reconnect with who they are and to create
the woman they would like to be. Today, Fab’s new program
"Date like a French lady” is inspiring many women to put
“Love” back in their life by transforming from the inside out,
knowing what they want from a relationship and looking but
mostly feeling Fabyoulicious.
1- The smile
Maybe the Mona Lisa inspired us. Our moms pounded it into our brain since we
were little: if you are a girl, it is expected from you to be pretty and smile. Smile
when you are happy and still smile when you are sad. Being grumpy is never
attractive and it doesn't make your life better. Men like a girl who smiles, and you
will feel better when you do.
2- Be pretty, feel pretty
French women take care of their appearance. It’s called French elegance. Going
out in the streets of Paris in your PJs and sneakers with no makeup is a big no-no.
French women like to look pretty in any circumstances, even to go to the
supermarket or to the park with our kids. It is not about attracting men but more
about feeling proud of our external image as much as our internal one. On top of
that, the "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" expression also
exists in French.
3- The glamour attitude
Talking about internal appearance, French women are often described as snotty.
It is not true. We know who we are. We know our value and what we have to
offer in a relationship. If you don't want it, it's your loss. If you want it and we
want it too, you are a lucky man. French women are raised to be independent and
to use their brainpower as much as their beauty.
4- A rose with thorns
We are not afraid of men. Boys and girls interact from a very young age with way
fewer taboos than in the U.S. If a little girl reports to her teacher that a boy is
bothering her, there is a good chance that the teacher will tell her to find her
solution or to fight back. Of course if there is bullying or totally inappropriate
behavior, an adult will intervene, but only as a last resort. Men, beware, for we
have nails, teeth and can kick you down with a piercing glare that is both
charming and dangerous
5- The freedom spirit
We don't need someone to make us happy and we need our space too. Look at
French moms at the park with their kids: they are chatting while kids play among
themselves. It helps us grow this sense of independence and adventure pretty
early on.
6- Romanticism was invented in France
French women are desperately romantic. This is a given right coming from being
born French. Romantic culture is not only taught but also praised from a very
young age. Do we kiss better? I don't know but we sure enjoy it. What is also
certain is that we love to flirt. A wink, a smile and here we go.
7- Sexy? Oh yes!
We like being sexy. Being sensuous and sexy is not frown upon as dirty but more
praised as a way to express beautiful esthetics. And I apologize to American
designers but French lingerie (and Italian) is definitely nicer than anything you can
find in the U.S. Just be careful: sexy yes, trashy NEVER! Don’t reveal too much,
you show the appetizer but never give the dessert right away.
8- No expectations
We don't look for the Prince Charming. Let me take it back, we don't always. Yes,
we love to be in love, and finding the perfect one is on our radar; but we also
enjoy friends, friends with benefits, romantic partners, passionate flings. The
word "dating" doesn't exist in French. We have acquaintances, friends, and lovers.
This “in between game” called dating that I discovered in the U.S. simply doesn't
exist. If you kiss, you are lovers and if it ends after a couple of kisses it is not the
end of the world, there will be always another one.
9- Love, love, love
Taking about kissing, we are epicurean. We enjoy our food, drinks, and we enjoy
kissing and sex. Don't tell a French girl to pass on a great dessert, serve her only
the best champagne and she will be happy. Kiss her passionately and she may
show you that enjoying sex is not an exclusive male privilege. We do too, but only
with the right man.
10- Hard to get? No. Just special
We know what we want. As I said earlier we know our value, but we also know
what we are looking for. We want it all: the handsome, smart, successful,
romantic guy who will treat us like the queen we are. And do not worry, we will
grateful for who you are. We will pay attention to being at our best every time we
can, we will treat you nicely and make you feel special because you are. If not,
you’re out...
One misconception is French are unfaithful. We are usually in committed
relationships but if you are not on board, or if we don’t believe in the relationship,
we will look for the next one. As my girlfriends say: a good boyfriend is enough to
make us happy, but if he doesn't bring us what we want, we need three okay
ones. No hard feelings!
Are you ready for love? So here is my last tip: be yourself and find your own “je ne
sais quoi”.
Click here to visit Dr. Fab Slama’s Website
I hope you enjoyed these tips from our dating coaches! Now, get out there and
apply them in the real world. And, if you happen to live in one of the cities where
we host singles events, you’re in luck! Click here to find out more about our
professionally planned and hosted events near you!
May you find the love you seek,
Founder and President, Love FrogKisser
[email protected]