T H E B E H AV I O R A L E Q “ E X P LO R AT I O
NS” SERIES
Behavioral EQ: Listening
www.tracomcorp.com
BEHAVIORAL EQ Explorations
®
Listening
TRACOM’s Behavioral EQ Model™ is based on the latest research in both brain function and
performance. It focuses on the most important elements of Emotional Intelligence and those
that can be successfully developed. The Model consists of four dimensions which house the fifteen
various core competencies. The Behavioral EQ Explorations series takes a closer look each of
these core competencies. This whitepaper focuses on Listening.
Listening, a key component of the Behavioral EQ Model, measures the ability to accurately listen
and display an understanding of what is being communicated. Those with keen listening skills do
not allow themselves to be distracted when interacting, listen carefully to what others say, and
understand the underlying feelings and intentions, in addition to the content, of what others are
expressing. They also consistently give their full attention, which results in others feeling
appreciated and understood.
“Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones
who do more listening than talking.”­— Bernard Baruch
(American financier, stock investor, philanthropist, statesman,
and political consultant)
BEHAVIORAL EQ
®
®
1
Behavioral EQ: Listening
www.tracomcorp.com
Are You a Good Listener?
Most people would say they’re good listeners, and some of them would be right. But with the hectic pace
of work and the frustrations of trying to get things done in as short a time as possible, many of us fall into
the habit of hearing without actually listening. Let’s face it, sometimes this seems necessary, and it’s
certainly easier than taking the mental effort to truly listen and engage with another person. But listening
is a choice, and choosing not to listen has consequences. For instance, if you want to have influence at
work, you would be well served to practice your listening skills. Research shows that people who are
good listeners are more influential than people who talk more than they listen.i This is because listening
helps people obtain information and build trust, both of which increase a person’s influence. Plus, it’s just
good manners, and people always respect people who show good manners.
So, what is good listening? People with good listening skills don’t let themselves be distracted; they focus
on the other person and listen carefully to what’s being said. They’re not constantly thinking about what
they are going to say next and instead they go beyond the content of what others are saying and
recognize the underlying feelings and intentions. All of this results in others feeling appreciated
and understood.
BEHAVIORAL EQ
®
®
2
Behavioral EQ: Listening
www.tracomcorp.com
How to Enhance Listening Ability
Listening is easy when talking with a friend about sports. It can be more difficult at work, especially when
the topic is controversial or uncomfortable. Practice these simple strategies to become a more effective
listener, and to ease the discomfort of difficult conversations.
•Concentrate
This seems easy but it is the most often violated rule of listening. To truly focus and concentrate on
another person takes a lot of cognitive effort, and our brains are easily fatigued, especially after a long
day. A simple strategy is to remove distractions. For instance, staring at your phone while conversing
with someone is not only rude, it’s also impossible to focus on two things at once. Focus your eyes on
the person and pay close attention to what is being said, and also how they are saying it. This will help
you to understand and empathize.
•
Listen before speaking
This is always good advice but it is especially important in conversations where emotions are strong.
Let others speak first. You’ll have the chance to express yourself eventually, but letting others speak
allows them to make their points and helps you to understand their opinions. Words of caution about
this approach – when listening to others continue to focus on what they’re saying rather than planning
what you will say in return. When you’re thinking about your reply, it’s the same as multi-tasking, which
doesn’t work.
•
Take notes
Because our brains are often taxed, we forget things. It’s important to remember conversations, so
don’t be afraid to take notes when it’s appropriate. This will help you remember and will remind you
of any follow-up actions from the conversation. When working with a team, record what’s being said
on a flip-chart for all to see. This shows that you’re listening, checks to see whether everyone in the
group heard the same thing, and lets the speaker verify your understanding. It also serves as a written
record for future reference.
BEHAVIORAL EQ
®
®
3
Behavioral EQ: Listening
www.tracomcorp.com
About TRACOM Group’s Behavioral EQ Model™:
TRACOM Group’s Behavioral EQ Model is the third generation of Emotional Intelligence, focusing on
skills that are most related to performance and that can be practiced and developed. This model
encompasses emotional intelligence (this refers to how well we perceive and understand our own
emotions and the emotions of others) and behavioral intelligence (this refers to how well we manage
personal behavior and relationships). Behavioral elements of our Behavioral EQ model are the most
important because these skills are visible to others and most strongly predictive of job performance
and career success.
Learn more about TRACOM’s Behavioral EQ Model and the other elements that comprise the
model here.
Author:
Casey Mulqueen, Ph.D. — Director of Research & Product Development
6675 South Kenton Street, Suite 118
Centennial, CO 80111
303-470-4900
www.tracomcorp.com
References:
i
Ames, D., Benjamin-Maissen, L., & Brockner, J. (2012). The role of listening in interpersonal influence. Journal of Research
in Personality. 46(3), 345-349.
© Behavioral EQ, Putting Emotional Intelligence to Work,The Social Intelligence Company, SOCIAL STYLE and TRACOM are registered trademarks of the
TRACOM Corporation. Developing Behavioral EQ, BEQ, Behavioral EQ Model and SOCIAL STYLE Model are trademarks of The TRACOM Corporation.
BEHAVIORAL EQ
®
®
4