How To Be a Tommie
W hat can I te ll you? To become a true Tommie, you have to kiss someone at midnight under the arches of the
be autiful campus of University of Saint Thomas, Saint Paul, Minnesota. If you are re ading this, you are ve ry lik e ly a
stude nt of the Faculty of Education at the C harles University who just got a scholarship and that m e ans you are not
that far away to become a true Tommie! If you want this to happen fast, I hum bly advise you to re ad this m ode st
guide from your fe llow clas smate. Learn from m y mistakes and master the art of be com ing a true Am e rican colle ge
stude nt. R un, run towards that silhoue tte standing be low the light of the lante rn and k iss!
Alright, now com e back. Sit down with this guide for a minute and read through it. I would like to provide you
with information that I myself didn’t have. I promise that with these few papers you are guarante e d to have a be tte r
e x perience of studying at the University of Saint Thomas than I have had so far. And I also pro m ise that I will try to
m ak e this guide as m uch fun as I can.
So unle ss you have anything to say – oh, you don’t? briliant – we can m ove on to the first ste p.
Your First Days
I am sorry I can’t help you with all that hassle you will have at home whe n getting re ady for the ye ar abroad.
But the y told m e to keep this short, oh, my dear classmate, so let’s skip to the part whe n you have safe ly arrive d to
UST, Saint Paul, Minnesota[1]. Presumably you are now sitting in your room which is very likely situated either in Flynn
or Morisson Hall. You should call yourself lucky because you do have one of the best lodging of all the stude nts he re .
Be fore you start re ading this, go find the air conditioning control. You are probably the first re sident of this appartment
and that m eans the fans are on. Minne sota in sum m e r is gre at, but if you forge t about this, you will sm ile with
happiness and chatter your te eth at the same time because your bedroom at night will be too cold! W he n I got in, I
forgot all about the air-conditioning and I had no be dshe e ts. I co ve re d m yse lf with m y jack e t and wishe d that I
wouldn’t fre eze to death before I could enjoy my ye ar of awe someness. Make sure you don’t make the same m istak e .
The re will be ple nty tim e to fre e ze to de ath in winte r.
Good. I will try to m ake this as short as possible . You should re m e m be r one thing for now. The O ffice of
Inte rnational Student Services is located in the Murray-Herrick Hall. They will provide you with all the inform ation you
ne e d to know. How to get a student ID, how to pick your cla sses (if you haven’t done this already), the y will give you
an orie ntation and trust me, that is a good thing to go to. You might also have to pass the language proficie ncy te st if
you don’t have the TOEFL certificate. I have done that and it’s boring and you have to wake up e arly in the m orning.
Spe ak ing of language proficie ncy, what do you say we com bine ple asure with practice in the ne x t chapte r?
The Comfortable Campus
Isn’t it amazing? The campus is nothing like the Charles University, right? Let me te ll you as m uch about the
com fort of ___________ (live ) on campus and while I ___________ (do) this, you can fill the corre ct words in the
gaps so that you ge t som e practice be fore the te st.
You have already ________ (pass) unde r the arche s. This is the place to be com e a true Tom m ie . The cam pus
_____________ (contain) of re sidential halls, a gym, cafeteria, lecture halls and classes, offices of all k inds. But the re
is m ore ! You __________ (find – future te nse) even a post office! The com m ute r ce nte r is gre at for _____________
(tak e) naps betwe en classes. There is a box office , a we llness center whe re you can borrow e quipment for the gym or
e ve n a bike, there is a bufet called Scooters, a library (a big one!) a café, a musical ce nter, a football fie ld, a swimming
pool, two grocery shops, a barbershop, a health ce nter, a chape l… ple ase , fe e l fre e to start _____________ (jum p)
around the room and clap your hands with happiness. Not only you have made it through this little excersise, you now
also k now that the com fort of the Unive rsity of Saint Thom as is incre dible !
The Triumvirate
Now that you are in a good mood, let m e ge t ove r with the not-so-ple asant part of this de al. The actual
e ducation. A common saying around the UST campus is: there are three things you can choose from, but only do two
at a tim e : studying, partying and sle e ping. W hat’s your choice ?
a)
study and sle e p
b)
party and study
c)
party and sle e p
d)
I want to go hom e
Don’t cross the fourth option. Actually, for now, don’t cross any of these options and let me talk in detail about
e ach of those se ctions.
Study
I be t you feel really confident, m y dear classmate. I bet you are a smart kid. Well, ge t that sm irk off of your
face . This is going to be tough. You need to forget all about those people te lling you that American college e ducation is
m uch e asier than C zech one. This is not true. In fact, in many ways, you are likely to have a hard time studying he re .
W e ll of course – im plying that you de cide to study inste ad of party or sle e p.
W hy does e veryone say that American college education is le ss e laborate than C ze ch (or Europe an one )?
Be cause no one back home understands the way the job’s done here! At UST, no one will e ve r force you to re m e m be r
all the phonemes of Old English. And come on, we both know this is e xactly what would happe n back hom e . At UST,
the y will force you to think about O ld English. The y will force you to be cre ative ! By God, the y will m ak e you do
hom ework , my friend, every. single. day! And I am talking big homework ! You don’t want m e to te ll you how m uch
m ore homework I will have to do after I am finished with this paper (and it’s so late , oh, I am so tire d, m y frie nd!).
I assume that since you are reading this, you probably also are an English major. This means that you will pick
English classes and thus your assignments may vary betwe e n: writte n re fle ctions on acade m ic e ssays and article s,
re fle ctions on books and whatever you have been doing during classes, your own e ssays (there will be a lot of the m ),
practice e xcersises, te xtbook notes, pre sentations, re ading books. Usually you will be ask e d to re ad one book pe r
we e k , do one or two re flections, spew out one or two e ssays within two we e k s. So far I have n’t had m any proble m s
with e ssay writing, there fore I believe you will be just fine with your language skills. American essays are writte n in a
m ore straightforward manner, you simply open with an introduction and the thesis and finish with a con clusion. If you
are not sure as to what this should look like, go ahead and scan through these papers again, se e if you can find m y
the sis and m y conclusion. Because ye s, this actually is supposed to be an e ssay. And yes, as I said before : le arn from
m y m istak e s.
Am e rican e ssay structure re minds me of another plus of this school – everything is ve ry we ll organize d. You
will k now all about your assignments from the syllabi which are e laborated and usually you can count on the sem e ste r
plan provided there. So as I said, I am writing this paper late at night and it’s nobody’s fault but mine. Ah, I miss being
able to accuse the unive rsity adm inistration of confusing m e !
All in all, an American college like UST m ight not fill your brain with concepts, philosophies or e xplorations that
you hardly understand. But they will want you to be able to use everything that you have learnt in prax is. That’s why
you will be asked to do so much homework and to be so cre ative. Unlike C zech colleges, wh e re you are often ask e d to
stuff your head with unnecessary information, here you will be provided with just the right amount, but also e x pe cte d
to de ve lop it. To build on it. You still think this is easier? Well, m y friend, go ahead and slap yourself now, so that you
don’t ge t slappe d by all that work .
Fe llow com rade of education! Don’t le t yourself feel discouraged! Should you feel sad, go to the lobby and ge t
som e Skittles from the vending machine (yes, yes, I was also very happy whe n I found out you can buy the m he re ),
look out of the window and enjoy the beautiful, soothing view on the football field and the Cretin or Se lby Ave nue [2].
Afte r that, le t m e te ll you som e thing about your fre e tim e .
Party
The worst part is behind us! I like to believe. It depends on you, mostly, and your priorit ies. I have to say I am
not a huge fan of parties, so I might have purposedly decieved you by calling this chapte r Party whe n the re wont be
m ore than two se ntences about it. But I do promise, my dear friend, that I will try m y best to tell you all I know about
your fre e tim e he re – your possibilitie s as we ll as your lim itations.
If you have started reading this guide right on the day of your arrival (for that I re spe ct your discipline !), it’s
probably still August. School doesn’t start until th e beginning of Se ptember and thus there are not m any partie s ye t.
Ye t. This gets better during October. Tommies ce lebrate the so called Homecoming: “The alum ni com e back to UST
and the re is a football gam e !”
O k ay, we ll, for you that m eans you can go and get a free swe atshirt and fe e l lik e a Tom m ie [3] and it also
m e ans the time has come for the big Homecoming Dance. Go ahead and look for an assisstant for your be com ing a
Tom mie assignment. Just one we ek afte r that you will ce le brate Hallowe e n – it is wise to plan out the se days in
advance, you want to know who to party with as there will be so many events and you can’t miss out on it because you
we re inde cisive (your ability to de cide got you in the USA in the first place , m y de ar frie nd).
The re will be other gre at parties and the best way to k eep track of them is to, of course, m ake frie nds. O r you
can be come a fan of say the STAR club on Facebook.com. This association take s care of the bigge st e ve nts at UST.
If you are not a fan of parties, go ahead and borrow a bike and take a ride from Saint Paul to Minne apolis for
instance. It takes only about forty-five minutes to get the re and you ge t to ride along Mississippi. This is a re ally
be autiful thing to do – at least if you consider yourself a romantic. Do not hesitate to go out on a b ik e while it is still
hot outside. I hesitated and now I wish I could do this trip to the city again but it’s too cold already. W hile you are in
Minne apolis, m ake sure to check out the Target Are na and all the museums and the First Ave nue – if you are a fa n of
live m usic. And if you are a fan of live music, or sports, or museums but not a fan of bicycles, ge t on the St. Thom as
shuttle! It takes about fifteen minutes to get from one city to the other and you can ge t a ride for tim e s in an hour.
Saint Paul, howe ver, is also definitely worth seeing! If you haven’t had a chance to see the downtown just ye t,
m ak e sure to have a walk on the Grand Avenue. The theatre is here, the bank (se ts up accounts for fre e and adds
45$ bonus for UST students!), barbershops, a bicycleshop, a te agarden etc. On Selby Avenue you will find a ve ry nice
pub called the Blue Door. The price s are just fine and the y have Europe an be e r as we ll. But don’t e x pe ct Plze ň or
Gam brinus.
If you lik e nature , I suppose you a re in the right place ! Go se e the lak e s!
All in all, m y fellow classmate, please make sure you will go and do something. This school is not an easy pass.
You m ight get stre ssed – many times, m ind you. And all the com fort you will be give n doe s have its lim itations.
Som e times you can feel imprisoned. You get out of class, you se e boys and girls doing the ir hom e work . You walk
through the campus, if its a hot day (there wont be many of them), there will be students doing their hom e work . You
ge t to the lobby of your re sidence hall, there might be someone playing the piano, someone gazing dre am ily into the
fire place , m ost likely the re are pe ople doing the ir hom e work . You rush up the stairs to your appartm e nt, your
room mates are doing their homework . Y ou go to your room and want to throw your head on the pillow, instead, you go
and do your homework . You will ne ver e scape this unless you try! So go, go and do things! Because the work load can
be de alt with, but not the bore dom that comes with the integration and every single day spent on cam pus! And don’t
you forget – no matter how m any UST shirts, swe atpants, waterbottles, k eychains or towe ls you will get, you are not a
true Tom m ie unle ss you k iss unde r the arche s!
Sleep
Sle e p. Please, m y deare st classmate. At least once in a while. It’s a bliss. I can’t te ll you how m uch I m iss m y be d
e ve rytim e I spe nd a night lik e this doing m y hom e work . So sle e p. Afte r that? Study and party!
Congratulations!
You have m ade it through!
I hone stly wish you the best two semesters of your life. They might be a little busier than you had thought, but
the e x perience (and you will have a lot of it, I guarantee you that) will be worth all those lost e venings in the library or
anywhe re at the campus just procrastinating. You might get bored with the food (I can’t te ll you how m uch I hate it
afte r two m onths. I should’ve bought more food I could cook myself), you might be missing Czech pubs and our lazy
studying style, but at the same time, if you have re ad this carefully, I bet that you have already e nough courage and
inspiration to make this the best experience of your studying life. And e ven if you don’t feel like a Tommie be cause all
those presents just don’t m ake you proud e nough to be one, go and k iss someone under the arches – just for the fun
of it. Just so you know what it is lik e to be an American College student who loves being young and happy. Be cause
face it, m y de ar classm ate , on this day you are ve ry lik e ly the happie st C ze ch in the state of Minne sota.
[1] 3115 Summit Avenue, Saint Paul, MN. Zip: 55105. It’s a city within a city. C an’t miss it. Also, if you paid more than
$18 for the airport shuttle , the y rippe d you off!
[2] if your window is facing the patio or is in the first floor and the only thing you can se e is the he aps of park e d
stude nt bicycle s, ple ase disre gard this and proce e d to the ne x t chapte r.
[3]
do not forge t you still ne e d to find som e one to k iss!