Still Talking
Dedicated to the welfare of Laryngectomees and those with similar vocal disorders.
ALL CORRESPONDENCE : The Secretary, The Laryngectomee Association of NSW
STH Bowenfels, 65/9 Col Drewe Dr, NSW,2790
Email: [email protected]
Issue No. 282
The Laryngectomee Association of NSW©
OFFICE BEARERS
ACCOMMODATION ASSISTANCE
WHEN NEEDED
PRESIDENT: Les Byrnes, 82/79-87 Boyce
Road, MAROUBRA, 2035.(02) 93440445.
OUT-PATIENT TREATMENT AWAY FROM
HOME:
0401585287 [email protected]
Cancer Council NSW, 153 Dowling St,
WOOLLOOMOOLOO, 2011 (PO Box 572,
Kings Cross, 1340), Phone: 13 11 20.
(Information & Support) Or contact Social
Worker at hospital you will be attending.
VICE PRESIDENT & WEBSITE ADMIN:
Greg Joss 61 Morrice Street, LANE COVE
2066 (02) 9427 0509
VICE PRESIDENT: Peter Tierney, 11
Berrico Place, BANGOR, 2234 (02) 9543 0478
SECRETARY/TREASURER:
Raymond Chappelow, Villa 65/9 Col Drewe
Dr, STH BOWENFELS, 2790
Mobile 0400 409 3252
[email protected]
www.cancercouncil.com.au
WELFARE OFFICER: Cathy Edwards PO
Box 54, ALLAWAH, 2218. (02) 9587 9636
LARYNGECTOMEES:
ASSOCIATION WEBPAGE:
www.stilltalking.org
INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF
www.theial.com/ial
ASSISTANT WELFARE OFFICER
WEB WHISPERS:
Wally Bak 4 Swords Ave., Mt Druitt, 2770
www.webwhispers.org
(02) 9864 6205 [email protected]
NEXT MEETING
SPEECH AIDS COORDINATOR:
John Chaloner, PO Box 977, PETERSHAM
NSW 2049. (02) 9560 2852
17th May 2017 at the Sydney
Mechanics Institute, 280 Pitt St,
SYDNEY at 11 am. The meeting will be
followed by light refreshments.
Laryngectomees, friends, families,
professionals all welcome.
EDITOR: George Southgate,
[email protected] (02) 04176 79651
BATTERIES FOR SERVOX, LOAN SPEECH
AIDS, ADVICE ON REPAIRS
John Chaloner, PO Box 977, PETERSHAM
NSW 2049. (02) 9560 2852
SHOWER SHIELD, STOMA COVER
MATERIAL & WELFARE MATTERS:
Cathy Edwards, PO Box 54, ALLAWAH, 2218.
02 9587 9636 [email protected]
May 2017
1
Regional Meetings
0477 330 719 or Joanne Bartley 0439 813 807
NSW Association: 3rd Wednesday of month
(February - November)
Sydney Mechanics Institute, 280 Pitt St, SYDNEY,
2000 at11am.
MID NORTH COAST: Port Macquarie
Community Health Centre. Last Wed of March.
June. September. & 1st Wednesday December.
Contact Jodie Bowles (02) 65801828
[email protected]
NEW ENGLAND: Meets 2pm 1st Wed
December Conference Room, Rehab Unit,
Tamworth Base Hosp.(02) 6767 8369
CENTRAL COAST: 3rd Thursday of the month,
Cancer Council Community Hub, The Hive,
Erina Fair 10am –12 noon. Head and neck cancer
nurse (02) 4320 9823 Cancer Council 4336 4500
Facillitator Gary Marr 0412 262 145
NEWCASTLE: 3rd Tuesday. Monthly Mayfield
Bowling Cub, Ingall St, Mayfield. Start 12.30 -2.00
Contact John Lovett (02) 4954 8308
gsm18@!ive.com.au
NORTHERN RIVERS: 4 times annually in
Lismore. Contact Speech Pathologist Allison
Grady (02) 6629 4523 or (02) 6620 2157
COFFS / CLARENCE: Shearwater Lodge, Coffs
Health Campus. 2pm every 3rd Thursday,
Bi-montlhy Contact Rachel Urquhart 02 6656 7606
ALBURY: Meets alternate months from
February. Contact Norma Teasdale 02 60211749
[email protected]
WOLLONGONG Hospital Block C level 8:
11am -12.30 Tri-monthly 22/1/16, 23/4/16, 23/7/16
Lisa Le Cussan (02) 4253 4500
SOUTHERN DISTRICTS: Last Wednesday of
month 10am. Thomas Rachael Moore Education
Centre, Liverpool Hospital. Contact Hei Lan Byun
Letters, Emails, Info & Stuff
50th WEDDING. ANNIVERSARY.
A follow- up of the wonderful story that was published in April Newsletter regarding the Golden
Wedding Anniversary of "Lary", John Douglas and wife of 50 years, Diane.
Received a call from Diane on Monday May 1st to advise that the celebrations were excellent
and that donations from friends and relatives, in lieu of gifts for the happy couple, amounted to
$720.00 for the LANSW. I spoke to both John and Diane who were indeed surprised and
grateful of the generosity and success of the venture, which was the inspiration of Danielle,
(their granddaughter), who is 19 years old.
On behalf of all the members of the LANSW, I extend our sincerest appreciation to the
Douglas family, all their friends and relatives who made this anniversary a truly memorable and
generous occasion.
Les Byrnes. President LANSW.
On a different subject, but one most of us have experienced, my wife, Yvonne, and I visited a
couple at the P.O.W. Hospital recently. The husband, aged 55, was booked in for a
Laryngectomy on Monday 8th May. He has been and was quite distressed at the thought of
what was ahead, and in particular more upset of the fact he prided himself on looking after his
health, a never ever smoker, non-drinker ( a devout Muslim who attendedthe Mosque
regularly) and followed a healthy diet being a chef by trade.
2
We met with him and his wife with the Speechie present and one can only relate your own
experiences, answer all the questions, offer advice and tips on some matters and generally do
whatever you can to assure the patient there is life after becoming a Lary.
After the talk, etc. Yvonne and I were satisfied that some of his concerns were answered and
he appeared to be ready to face a different, but satisfactory, life with a new voice. His wife
was also pleased that she was, able to see and hear about life as a "Lary."
Les Byrnes.
Lexophile’ is a word used to describe those who have a love for words, such as "you can
tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.
When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
And the cream of the twisted crop: …
Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end..
Courtesy of Raymond Chappelow & Ian Robinson
3
Minutes
Laryngectomee Association of NSW Inc.
Minutes of Meeting held 19 April, 2017.
The Meeting opened at 11am with the President, L Byrnes occupying the Chair.
Attendance – Laryngectomees
L Byrnes, P Tierney, F Campbell, J Berghammer, J Pyle.
Attendance – Non-laryngectomees
C Edwards, C Gardner, G Tierney.
Apologies
R Chappelow, G Joss, J Chaloner.
The Minutes of the March Meeting were read & adopted by resolution. There was no business
arising.
Correspondence Outgoing
Sean Johns – apology for not removing late mother from Membership List
Correspondence Incoming
Email from Wally Bak with details of a new laryngectomee
Emails from Michael De Figlia (dto – consulting) via Greg Joss requesting local laryngectomee
information
Email from Greg Joss re advertising in “Still Talking”.
Email from John Chaloner re the above and a “humour” article in April issue (landmines).
Neville Mullaney of Dubbo re his membership fee & a thank-you to our committee for their
service.
Janet Berghammer of QLD. re voice issues & IPad Verbal
LA Victoria “The New Voice”.
Vicki Pedras re membership
The president read emails exchanged regarding request from Michael De Figlia, a student in
Germany, seeking information about laryngectomees in Australia. Greg Joss has sent a reply.
Janet Berghammer demonstrated her Apple iPad verbal device. Janet, a self-taught
oesophagus speaker, uses the device whenever unable to use own voice. Cathy Edwards
tabled a letter from Sam Galea who had trialled a sample of products from Japan. Sam
returned them having found them inferior to similar products from Atos.
Cedric Fleming has requested a visitor whilst a patient in St. George Hospital for treatment of a
recurrent throat cancer. The President will arrange with Speech Pathologist if possible.
All correspondence adopted.
4
Minutes
Reports
Welfare
PATIENT PACKS
5
Packs to Wollongong Hospital Wollongong
Frank
3
Packs to Westmead Hospital
Westmead
Sally Pittendrigh
2
Packs to St Vincent Private
Darlinghurst
Therese Dodds
STOMA COVERS & ACCESSORIES
Inv No
Name
Goods
Cost
0405
Graham Currie
1 Showershield
25.00
0406
Domenic Demarco
1showershield/6single/6double
97.00
0407
Neil Law
6 single stoma covers
36.00
0408
Ray Russo
1 membership, 1showershield,
3covers
53.00
0409
Pat Bellanponi
94.00
0410
Janice Heapy
1 membership & 14 single stoma
covers
6 stoma covers
Packs for New Members
Rudolph Pacini
Pat Bellanponi
Ray Russo
Roselands
Fairfield West
Willoughby East
Postage Costs
0405
G Currie
10.40
0408
Bellanponi ( Box & Postage)
12.80
0409
Selkirk( Box + Postage)
12.80
Pkt of 10 Satchels
80.75
Total
$116.75
5
36.00
Minutes
CBA balance as at 29 February,
2017`
$15,701.07
Add March Income
Subscriptions
Donations
Supplies
$190.00
$10.00
$215.00
Total Income
$16,116.07
Less March Expenditure
Fees
Postage
Lunch
Travel
Supplies
Rent
Sundries
$1,364.00
$132.05
$30.00
$13.00
$452.22
$40.00
$235.24
Total Expenditure
$2,266.51
Plus unpresented cheques
#635
#638
$44.00
$1,320.00
Atos Event, 4 April, 2017.
I went to Kingswood Neighbourhood Centre to an event hosted be Atos which was
represented by Max Harris (Country Manager ANZ) and Ed Feist (Regional Sales Manager).
Also, in attendance as Guest Speaker was Erin Sellars, a Speech Pathologist from Nepean
Hospital with two of her colleagues and a recent laryngectomee, Pat & his wife. Erin
demonstrated exercises laryngectomees can do on a daily basis to improve their voice. Also,
advice on experiences and problems met by laryngectomees were covered in some detail by
her.
To me the highlight of the evening was the Atos Demonstration Kit which they give to new
Laryngectomees so that they may trial all of the available products. It contains several
removable wallets which contain their individual products.
I met Pat and his wife after the meeting and managed to give him our application form.
Overall, an interesting event for both the S.P.s and me but the main beneficiaries were Pat and
his wife. No doubt other new Laryngectomees will have this demonstration from their own
S.P.s.
6
General Business
L Byrnes reported on a recent Atos presentation that he attended at North Sydney. New
products (currently unavailable) and a newer clip on version of the Shower Shield were shown.
He also
advised that Atos contributed half the cost of the April newsletter edition, as
payment for an advertisement. A sample plastic card (for wallet or purse) illustrating the
method of CPR for laryngectomees was shown as was a “bib” type shower shield and are
available. The Welfare Officer is to organise to include the CPR card in welcome pack.
Next Meeting to be held 17 May, commencing 11am. Venue available from 10.30am
The Meeting closed at 12.10pm.

7
1)
Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin
2)
Eating a teaspoon of sugar after having something spicy, can help neutralize the burning
sensation.
3)
There are more lifeforms living on your skin than there are people on that people.
4)
Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.
5)
Two-thirds of the people on earth have never seen snow.
6)
Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.
7)
A humming bird weighs less than a penny.
8)
It would take 100 years to watch every video on Youtube.
10) The king of hearts is the only king in the standard deck of cards, without a moustache.
(for those who get the email copies try viewing it at > 400%)
11) An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
12) Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women.
13) French was the official language of England for over 600 years
14) You are more likely to die from a falling coconut than a shark attack.
15) The average mattress doubles in weight over the course of 10 years due to accumulation of dust mites and dust mite poop.
'World's oldest man' who outlived all of his children and four wives
dies 'aged 146'
Mbah hit the headlines last year after presenting documentation
showing he was born in December 1870.
Remarkably, the "heavy smoker's" papers were recognised by Indonesian officials, who
claimed they were valid.
If correct, he would have lived significantly longer than the verified oldest person in the world
ever - Jeanne Calment. Jeanne, from France, lived to be a staggering 122 years old.
Daily Record
Sophie Evans “Accessed 02/05/2017
8
Part 2 of article from last month Courtesy of The New Voice (Robyn Stark & Lorrance Lancaster)
WHAT TO DO IF THE INDWELLING VOICE PROSTHESIS LEAKS
A leak can take place when a piece of dry mucus, a food particle, or hair (in those with a free
flap) prevents a complete closure of the prosthesis’s valve. Cleaning the prosthesis by
brushing and flushing it with warm water (see the previous section) can remove these
obstructions and stop the leakage. If the leakage through the voice prosthesis happens within
three days after its insertion it may be due to a defective prosthesis or one that was not placed
correctly. It takes some time for the yeast to grow. If the prosthesis leaks when new, it is due to
another cause. In addition to brushing and flushing with warm water, cautiously rotating the
prosthesis a couple of times to dislodge any debris may help. If the leak persist the voice
prosthesis should be replaced.
The easiest way of temporarily stopping the leak until the voice prosthesis can be changed is
to use a plug. A plug is specific for the type and width of each voice prosthesis. It is a good
idea to obtain a plug from the prosthesis’ manufacturer and have it handy. Sealing the
prosthesis will prevent speaking, but it allows eating and drinking without leakage. The plug
can be removed after eating and drinking and reinserted as needed. This is a temporary
solution until the voice prosthesis is replaced.
It is important to stay well hydrated despite the leakage. Avoiding fluid losses in hot weather
through perspiration by staying in an air-conditioned environment and ingesting liquids in
a way that is less likely to leak are helpful. Drinks that contain caffeine increase urination and
should be avoided. Viscous fluids tend not to leak and consuming them can provide essential
liquids despite the leak. Many food items that contain large amount of liquids are more viscous
(e.g., jelly, soup, oat meal, toast dipped in milk, yogurt ) and are therefore less likely to leak
through the prosthesis. On the other hand coffee and carbonated drinks are more likely to leak.
Fruits and vegetables contain large amount of water (e.g., watermelon, apples, etc). The
way to find out what works is to cautiously try any of these. Another method to reduce the leak
until the prosthesis can be changed that may work for some individuals is to try and swallow
the liquid as if it is a food item. Such maneuver is less likely to lead to fluid leakage through the
voice prosthesis. These measures can be used to keep well-hydrated and nourished until the
voice prosthesis can be changed.
PREVENTING YEAST GROWTH IN THE VOICE PROSTHESIS
Overgrowth of yeast is one cause of a voice prosthesis leaking and thus failing. Nevertheless,
it takes some time for yeast to grow in newly installed voice prosthesis and form colonies that
prevent its valve’s from closing completely. Accordingly, failures immediately after voice
prosthesis Installation are unlikely due to yeast growth.
The presence of yeast should be established by the person who changes the failing voice
prosthesis. This can be done by observing the typical yeast (Candida) colonies that prevent
the valve from closing and, if possible, by sending a specimen from the voice prosthesis for
fungal culture.
Mycostatin (an antifungal agent) is often used to prevent voice prosthesis failure due to yeast.
It is available with a prescription in the form of a suspension or tablets. The tablets can be
crushed and dissolved in water. Automatically administering anti-fungal therapy just because
one assumes that yeast is the cause of voice prosthesis failure may be inappropriate. It is
expensive, may lead to the yeast developing resistance to the agent, and may cause
unnecessary side effects. There are, however, exceptions to this rule.
9
These include the administration of preventive anti-fungal agents to diabetics; those receiving
antibiotics; chemotherapy or steroids; and those where colonization with yeast is evident
(coated tongue etc.).
There are several methods that help prevent yeast from growing on the voice prosthesis:

Reduce the consumption of sugars in food and drinks. If you consume them, brush your
teeth well after consuming sugary foods and/or drinks.

Brush your teeth well after every meal and especially before going to sleep.

Diabetics should

Take antibiotics only if they are needed.
maintain adequate blood sugar levels.
• After using an oral suspension of an antifungal agent, wait for 30 minutes to let it work and
then brush your teeth. This is because some of these suspensions contain sugar.

Dip the voice prosthesis brush in a small amount of mycostatin suspension and brush the
inner voice prosthesis before going to sleep. (A homemade suspension can be made by
dissolving a quarter of a mycostatin tablet in 3-5 cc water). This would leave some of the
suspension inside the voice prosthesis. The unused suspension should be discarded. Do not
to place too much mycostatin in the prosthesis to prevent dripping into the trachea. Speaking a
few words after placing the suspension will push it towards the inner part of the voice
prosthesis.
• Consume probiotics by eating active-culture yogurt and/or a probiotic preparation

Gently brush the tongue if it is coated with yeast (white plaques)

Replace the toothbrush after overcoming a yeast problem to prevent re colonizing with
yeasts

Keep the prosthesis brush clean
THE USE OF LACTOBACILLUS ACIDOPHILUS TO PREVENT YEAST OVERGROWTH
A probiotic that is often used to prevent yeast overgrowth is a preparation containing the viable
bacteria Lactobacillus acidophilus. There is no FDA approved indication to use L. acidophilus
to prevent yeast growth. This means that there were no controlled studies to ensure its safety
and efficacy. L. acidophilus preparations are sold as a nutritional supplement and not as a
medication. The recommended dosage of L. acidophilus is between 1 and 10 billion bacteria.
Typically, L.acidophilus tablets contain somewhere within this recommended amount of
bacteria. Dosage suggestions vary by tablet, but generally it is advised to take between one
and three L. acidophilus tablets daily.
Although generally believed to be safe with few side effects, oral preparations of L. acidophilus
should be avoided in people with intestinal damage, a weakened immune system, or with
overgrowth of intestinal bacteria. In these individuals this bacterium can cause serious and
sometimes life threatening complications. This is why individuals should consult their physician
whenever this live bacteria is ingested. It is especially important in those with the above
conditions.
10
Think you are having a bad day?
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing
the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete
with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.
A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal
injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to
determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles
from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in
a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and
emptied at the site of the forest fire. You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like
Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in
the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. but keep reading....
Still having a bad day?
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was
$80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being
released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.
A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
Still think you are having a bad day?
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle.Intending to
jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking
his arm in 2 places Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
STILL think you're having a bad day?
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse
in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken
fence, stampeding madly. The two hapless protesters were trampled to death.
What?! STILL having a bad day??
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with
'return to sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to
bits.
Still think you're having a bad day?
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen. While racing
the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the
handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors. His wife, hearing the
crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered
patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a large hill, went down
the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.
While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and
push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and
tossed them into the toilet. After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at
the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and
consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the
butt between his legs. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and
burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched. As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started
laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher dumping the husband out. He fell down the
remaining stairs, breaking his arm. Courtesy of Raymond Chappelow & Ian Robinson
There now, feeling better? Or are you still laughing hysterically?
11
HUMOUR
A child asked his father, " How were
people born?" So his father said, "Adam and
Eve made babies, then their babies became
adults and made babies, and so on." The
child then went to his mother, asked her the
same question and she told him, "We were
monkeys then we evolved to become like we
are now." The child ran back to his father and
said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No,
your mom was talking about her side of the
family."
Teacher: " If I gave you 2 cats and another
2 cats and another 2, how many would you
have?"
Johnny: "Seven.
"Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you
two cats, and another two cats and another
two, how many would you have?
"Johnny: "Seven.
"Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I
gave you two apples, and another two apples
and another two, how many would you have?
"Johnny: "Six.
"Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats,
and another two cats and another two, how
many would you have?
"Johnny: "Seven!
"Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you
get seven from?!
"Johnny: "Because I've already got a bloody
cat!"
What do computers eat for a snack?
Microchips!
A bear walks into a bar and asks the
bartender for a beer. The bartender says,
"Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars."
The bear replies, "If you don't give me a
beer, I'll eat that lady over there."
The bartender says, "Go ahead."
So the bear eats the lady and asks for a
beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't
give beer to bears on drugs."
"What do mean," asks the bear. "I'm not on
drugs." "Yes, you are, that was the
bar-bitch-you -ate."
12
Life is all about perspective. The sinking
of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in
the ship's kitchen.
Why did the one-handed man cross the
road?
To get to the second hand shop.
A farm boy accidentally overturned his
wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived
nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the
boy, "Hey, Willis, forget your troubles. Come
in and visit with us. I'll help you get the
wagon up later." "That's mighty nice of you,"
Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would
like me to." "Aw, come on, boy," the farmer
insisted. "Well, OK," the boy finally agreed,
and added, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host.
"I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going
to be real upset." "Don't be foolish!" the
neighbor said with a smile. "By the way,
where is he?" "Under the wagon."
A couple wants a divorce, but first they
must decide who will be the main guardian of
their child. The jury asks both the man and
woman for a reason why they should be the
one to keep the child. So the jury asks the
woman first. She says, "Well I carried this
child around in my stomach for nine months
and I had to go through a painful birth
process, this is my child and apart of me."
The jury is impressed and then turns to ask
the man the same question. The man replies,
"OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink
machine and a drink comes out, now tell me
who does the drink belong to me or the
machine"
How does a crazy person travel through
the woods? They take the psychopath
What did the duck say when he bought
lipstick? "Put it on my bill."
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once,
never opened
I named my hard drive " dat ass" so once
a month my computer asks if I want to 'back
dat ass up'