The Scholar ition d E n e ssm a l c r e —Und 9 3 0 0 2 May lass” cholar C S e r o m r Sopho e t s e m “2nd Se rav Ryan T -Adam 3 is Dan” . r D o t “Ode 4 Dixon -Jessup y” nformit o C f o rison “Compa rn Blackbu -Kaitlin d isualize V s a e r ’s Id “Directo Murre -Elyse ” Orange k r o w k c in A Clo dt Eichsta n e r u a -L oates -Erin C essful “My Str 6 7 d] [Untitle Life” a Quinn -Briann ” “Advice Mason Paige reech Erin C 6 ll riend” F y r a in ag “My Im s: Editor 5 iquette” t E n i t r a of UT M e l ic t r A ete “Compl ens l Steph -Rache r n Turne -Kaiteli 7 8 The Scholar ition d E n e ssm a l c r e —Und inued merica’s 9 A 0 g n 0 o 2 m May cont Issue A 9 Health ed verlook O n A s: isorder D g in t “Ea Youth” 10 ll a Lovea -Chelse e” ay Hom W y M “One 11 Gilmore -Caryce 12 der” “Surren Brax -Alyssa ton lR “Anima rongs” W d n a ights wsom -Kris Ne the “Within -Ariella Mirror” 13 Austin 14 u” “For Yo Luckey -Alexis 15 m I?” “Who A nah -Savan s: Editor Mason Paige reech Erin C 13 Smith ” g Break in r p S “My ms th Willia -Elizabe n: stinatio a r c o r P “ olmes -Chad H 16 an Art” t u b , it t a Hab Not Jus The University of Tennessee at Martin’s University Scholars Organization “2nd Semester Sophomore Scholar Class” Adam Ryan Travis It’s 5pm on Monday evening Time for another Scholars meeting, And the only thing I am fearing Is professor Lionel Crews. He told us we should have a title “This,” he said, “is very vital. Yes, very vital to have a title If Scholars you wish to pass.” I’ve climbed the stairs to go to class I’ve prayed that I’m the last he asks… Can I do something with atomic mass? Sadly no; I’ll just face the music. One by one they each got a nod. Admittedly though, some were quite odd. Here comes my death by firing squad: “Adam, what do you have?” I sweated buckets and chewed my nails. Neither of which was any avail. It looks like this class I’m going to fail Unless I think quick on my feet. AHA! An idea hath come to mind! Suddenly I’ve no need to repine! Thank you Lord, Great God Divine! For hope I had nearly lost. I told my idea, hopes at the ceiling. Then suddenly I retracted those feelings. What happened next just sent me reeling. PC actually said no. Photos courtesy of utm.edu and Facebook “Ode to Dr. Dan” Jessup Dixon He goes by one name, That name is Dr. Danny. He is a man’s man. He goes by one name. He’s tougher than Chuck Norris. He is Dr. Dan. He will sleep in class, But only a fool would sass The Great Dr. Dan! The Scholar May 2009 Edition 3 The Scholar May 2009 Edition 3 The University of Tennessee at Martin’s University Scholars Organization “Comparison of Conformity” Kaitlin Blackburn Photo courtesy of elultimoquecierrelapuerta.wordpress.com I am a huge fan of psychology and Japanese (both the language and the culture). I spend an inordinate amount of time looking up information that relates to both these topics, such as the Eastern Group mindset and how it compares to Western Individual mindset. In most Eastern concepts, group harmony, or “wa” as it is called in Japanese, is the foundation of success in Eastern culture. Everyone works together for the sake of the group, the whole. This spirit is apart of the government, workplace, school and home. However, this style often leaves no room for individuality: Deru kugi wa utareru. (The nail that sticks out will get hammered) This is not to say that the Group mindset is necessarily bad. People in Western societies have often witnessed the negative effects that self-oriented thinking can cause. But in reality, is conformity different in either mindset? In Japan for example, people who do not conform to traditional ways of acting often become one of two things: An otaku, which is someone obsessed with one particular hobby (like cosplay, anime, manga, stamp-collecting, etc), or a hikikomori. Hikikomori often hide in their room for days, weeks, months and even years to avoid social pressures from the outside world. More than likely, they stay with their parents and can become dangerous individuals. These individuals have a difficult time returning to mainstream Japan after being in hiding for so long. They are usually the victims of bullying and a type of social manipulation called mushi, where students ignore someone for an imprecise amount of time because of differences (either positive or negative differences). This seems harsh to most Westerners. How can they trample on the individual? How come no one fights back? But consider this: We are all a part of our groups. We answer the question, “Who are you?” with our name, but what do we follow it with afterwards? “I’m a student, a psychology major, a Japanese club member, a Scholar, etc., etc.” We define ourselves as part of a group, but what if someone had no groups to define themselves with…what would we say? “She’s not very active,” “He’s kind of boring,” “What is she going to do with her life?” We have chosen a system of defining ourselves into categories. We create groups of workers, teachers and friends with similar interests, rather than enjoying the complexity of different people. We fail to understand ourselves because we cannot understand “others”. In doing so, we have become what the group is, and not what the individual is. We are hiding our own selves in our inner rooms, waiting for someone to find out who we are, underneath all our categories, and I think it is time for us to leave. The Scholar May 2009 Edition 4 The Scholar May 2009 Edition 4 The University of Tennessee at Martin’s University Scholars Organization “Director’s Ideas Visualized in A Clockwork Orange” Elyse Murrell The director of A Clockwork Orange, Stanley Kubrick, seems to have a more cynical view of society, including religion, than many people. This can be seen in his use of circus-like imagery. The masks Alex and his friends wear when attacking people; the painfully bright colors in homes, clothing and makeup; and scenes such as when the young men ride in the tiny car show this chaotic and childish understanding. In the car scene, the four boys are stuffed into a small convertible and are driving recklessly, suggestive of circus clowns. The director seems to think of society as a joke and needs to be more educated and open-minded. He supports social reform, but not this idea that you can force people to behave. This Utopian idea will inherently take away individual freedom and choice, as seen in Alex’s case. Kubrick’s religious views also appear to be very negative. The only person who with significant amount of religious affiliation is the prison priest. This man has crooked, rotting teeth, and is fat with oily hair. He yells at the inmates, preaching of fire and brimstone. He is not a likeable character in any respect, and probably because Kubrick does not have positive feelings toward religion. He seems to dislike the abrasive approach often taken by the church. Another example of interesting religious ideas is when Alex visualizes himself as a Roman guard whipping Christ. He does not seem disturbed by the fact that he thought of himself this way, but is only amused by it. This could mean Kubrick is of the opinion that most people, normal human beings, are not above those guards whom we often love to hate. They were human, as Alex is human. That is reality, but Kubrick knows many people cannot be that honest with themselves. Stanley Kubrick uses significant amounts of imagery and visuals to express his personal views on life, society and religion. The film is seen as immoral and shocking, but this was Kubrick’s aim in order to make his point. He has very negative ideas about society, particularly religion, and these views can be seen in the cult class A Clockwork Photo courtesy of zombienash.blogspot.com Orange. Movie information (courtesy imdb.com) • Nominated for 4 Oscars • Released in 1972 • Starring Malcolm McDowell The Scholar May 2009 Edition 5 The Scholar May 2009 Edition 5 The University of Tennessee at Martin’s University Scholars Organization “My Imaginary Friend” Lauren Eichstadt I have an imaginary friend, who I talk to when I am down [Untitled] Erin Coates Fear, I’m afraid I’m done with you Tomorrow doesn’t like your company much It travels with me all around Today is hard to face when you’re around It is about seven feet tall It always picks me up when I am ready to fall It has hot pink stripes and a giant purple spot What it is, I know not It is very hairy Sometimes it even looks scary And Past always uses you as a crutch Each Minute in my short life With you Waiting by its side Feels smothered by your presence And intimidated by your pride Fear I’m afraid I’m done with you But I really don’t care what it looks like You always get in the way of my Dreams Because it helps me when I feel blue Tripping up each quiet ambition It encourages me in everything I do Turning the Songs of my heart into screams It lifts me up After I get home, it is waiting and gives me a high five Every virgin canvas before me Waiting for consummation with paint Dies prematurely, an unmarried bride And then says, “Yo homey, sup?” Could be beauty by your will made faint When times were rough My friend and I would dance and sing until we’d had enough But then one day, I woke up from my sleep And my friend wasn’t there Fear I’m afraid I’m done with you Love runs from the sound of your footsteps And hides in the kitchen cabinet Waiting I guess they don’t keep Waiting for the screen door to swish-slam shut But that was the day, I now realize Waiting for the light from the front hall to go out That I grew up And it I despised But somehow, I don’t think that it’s really gone I think it’s waiting for me past the moon Past the dawn Waiting for your smell to leave the pillow Waiting for your fingerprints to smear away Waiting for your overwhelming strength to be overcome by an intoxicating sip of Hope. The Scholar May 2009 Edition 6 The Scholar May 2009 Edition 6 The University of Tennessee at Martin’s University Scholars Organization “My Stressful Life” “Advice” Brianna Quinn Rachel Stephens I am now completing my third year of college I am three parts student, one part Scholar, one part sorority member, two parts sorority officer, three and have had a lot of time to think about what I have parts campus organization member, and two parts wed- learned. ding planner. People used to tell me that you really learn how Changing your major is totally ok. Sometimes when you come to college, you do not know what you to manage your time in college, but I always thought I want to do and there is a lot of pressure to decide. You was good at time management until this semester. I have to make a decision; but know that the choice is have been slapped in the face with an overload of re- never really final. If you find something else you like sponsibilities in the past several months and have really better, go with it. had to improve on these skills. Even though I get over- Get involved on campus. Spending all your whelmed all the time, I know I would not be who I am time in your dorm room is not the way to live your col- today without having so much stress in my life! lege experience. In a typical day of mine, I leave my apartment Having said that, take time for yourself. Some- around nine and don’t get a break for myself until nine or times it is ok to say no to something so you can spend ten that night. I not only go to class for hours on end, but an evening alone. Making time for yourself is something when I get back to my apartment I have stacks of paper- most people forget to do and it causes them to burnout. work and homework to get done all before I head off to You’re going to change. Who you are or were the lab to do research. When I finally get a break, my when you came into college will be nothing like who you mind is going in so many directions I can’t rest. On top of will be when you leave. In fact, you will be very different my school responsibilities I have a wedding I am trying to after your first year. Don’t let people make you feel plan which is not a very easy task. At the end of the day, guilty for the natural evolution you go through. You are no matter how stressed I might be, I always remind my- still you, just new and improved. self of how lucky I really am to have the many opportunities that UTM and Scholars have allowed me to have. College life today pushes everyone to their lim- You will make new friends. The people who are your best friends when you come into college will not be your best friends forever, but that is ok. They will its. I know I am not alone in my responsibilities I have, still be important. Keep them in your life, but don’t be but sometimes it is easy to become overwhelmed. My afraid to let new people in too. friends and family help keep me grounded by distracting Study! It may seem like a simple concept, but it me from this stress when they know I need a break and is absolutely essential to a successful experience in helping me stay on track when I start to get behind. So college. After all, we are here to be in college. my advice to anyone struggling with stress is to find And finally, have fun! These are supposed to someone who you can confide in and to “vent” to when be the best four years of your life (or if you are Josh and times get hard and you start to get discouraged. And Rhett, five or six) so enjoy them! remember, things could always be worse. The Scholar May 2009 Edition 7 The Scholar May 2009 Edition 7 The University of Tennessee at Martin’s University Scholars Organization Complete Article of UT Martin Etiquette Kaitelin Turner 1. There is in fact, a mall in Martin. It is located on your left when coming off the highway into Martin. Known to the rest of the world as “Wal-Mart”, residents of Martin simply know it as a place of recreation, procrastination and visitation. Always assume you’ll see no less than fourteen of your friends, professors and maybe your mom if you’re lucky enough. Never go here when you have things to do. Each trip takes a minimum of two hours. 2. Should you desperately need to visit the Mall of Martin, don’t bring Kris Newsom with you. You’ll be smacked in the head with random flying objects from hygiene aisles that should not be described in this article. Also, you’ll have to use self check-out no matter how full your shopping cart is and deal with the angry customers behind you. Also, you won’t get to actually check out or bag your own items, as she is always the “check out girl.” 3. Don’t sit in front of Chad Holmes in Physics class. Rather than filling your head with frictionless accelerating cars on a highway going northeast and carrying ten passengers weighing 300 Newtons each, you’ll have a cereal box car accelerating around your desk. And you’ll also experience interesting sound effects should you chose to make your seat around Mr. Holmes. 4. Never go to Huddle House as a place to concentrate and study on late night while studying for a exam the next day. It’s not a good idea. You’ll eat too much and in your delirious state you will think salt and pepper shakers make great pictures. On a positive note, however, you could make a few new friends from Hell’s Angels. 5. Always be nice to the servers at La Cabana and Los Portales. Since these two restaurants probably serve as your own personal cafeteria, it is always lovely to have your food brought out to you when you walk in the door. Always order the same exact thing, memorize how much money your order is and notice as every other UTM student does the same thing. 6. If you happen to be Greek, keep your membership a secret and guard it with your life. Josh Weiss must never know, or you will be the subject of an infinite number of jokes arising at highly inappropriate times. 7. In case you are ever tempted, putting pigs’ feet, sardines, and certain other substances in someone’s shower, toilet or deodorant is definitely not a good idea. Let me repeat: NOT A GOOD IDEA. 8. Don’t travel to New England during the middle of winter if you don’t want to take the scenic route home. If you would like to take such a trip, though, you will meet a variety of people along your way. Friendly cockroaches, nice van drivers and Delta vouchers always make for an interesting trip. The Scholar May 2009 Edition 8 The Scholar May 2009 Edition 8 The University of Tennessee at Martin’s University Scholars Organization “Eating Disorders: An Overlooked Health Issue Among America’s Youth” Chelsea Loveall We have all heard about eating disorders, but it is an issue too many of us take for granted. For those of us who have never had a problem with it, an eating disorder is something beyond our understanding. However, to a person suffering from an eating disorder, it is an entirely different story. They have reasoned in their minds to go to whatever lengths necessary to have the body shape and size they think will be acceptable to the people around them. It starts with normal dieting and exercise, but in extreme cases it can develop into a serious psychological condition involving starvation, excessive exercise, bingeing (eating excessive amounts of food in one sitting) and purging (induced vomiting to empty the stomach of food), as well as the use of laxatives and diet pills. These individuals can reach a life -threateningly low body weight and face the risk of heart failure, kidney failure, skin discoloration, and even loss of brain mass. Often times, this extreme unhappiness with one’s own body stems from weight-related teasing or comments being made by people around them, especially loved ones or close friends. So what are eating disorders? There are two main diagnosable types of eating disorders: anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. Both involve the loss of extreme amounts of body weight beyond what is considered “normal” for your body based upon age and height, but there are also many differences between the two disorders. Anorexia nervosa is often characterized by four symptoms: (1) “resistance to maintaining body weight at or above a minimally normal weight for age and height, (2) intense fear of weight gain or being ‘fat’ even though underweight, (3) disturbance in the experience of body weight or shape, undue influence of weight or shape on self-evaluation, or denial of the seriousness of low body weight, (4) [and] loss of menstrual periods in girls and women postpuberty” (NationalEatingDisorders.org). From my personal experience with a friend, often times what one sees in a person with an eating disorder is an obsession with food (amount of calories, fat, carbohydrates in the food they eat), excessive or obsession exercising, denial of the problem, loss of extreme amounts of weight in a very short time, a denial of hunger and a refusal to eat around others. Bulimia nervosa is characterized by: (1) “regular intake of large amounts of food accompanied by a sense of loss of control over eating behavior, (2) regular use of inappropriate compensatory behaviors such as self-induced vomiting, laxative or diuretic abuse, fasting, and/or obsessive or compulsive exercise, and (3) extreme concern with body weight and shape” (NationalEatingDisorders.org). For bulimia nervosa, one should look for disappearances to the bathroom after meals, swelling of the cheeks or jaw area, calluses on the back of the hands and knuckles, and discoloration or staining of the teeth (NationalEatingDisorders.org). Here are some interesting statistics about eating disorders: Approximately 35% of people with binge-eating disorder are male. (National Institutes of Mental Health) An estimated 5% to 15% of people with anorexia and bulimia are male. (National Institutes of Mental Health) Females are much more likely to develop an eating disorder than males. (National Institutes of Mental Health) Between 2% and 5% of Americans experience binge-eating disorder in a 6-month period. (National Institutes of Mental Health) One in ten anorexia cases ends in death from starvation, suicide or medical complications like heart attacks or kidney failure. (American Psychological Association) In the United States, as many as 10 million females and 1 million males are fighting a life and death battle with an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia. (NationalEatingDisorders.org) Before you make a weight-related comment towards someone, think twice. You never know what kind of negative effect your “harmless” comments can have on a person’s self-perception, and you do not want to be the one guilty for their development of a serious issue like an eating disorder. It is like they always say, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” The Scholar May 2009 Edition 9 The Scholar May 2009 Edition 9 The University of Tennessee at Martin’s University Scholars Organization “On My Way Home” Caryce Gilmore I want to drive this road: I want to rattle down the road On my way home in my rusty old truck down Caney Creek Road, with my windows down I think of the past and history hair blowing in the wind of the place. elbow out, I remember when the road was narrow singing my favorite song – and graveled, with potholes to dodge. just like I always saw my dad do. I remember when there were And I don’t want anyone from no rental cabins taking up the mountainside. out of town to see me do it. I remember when the only person you would pass on the windy road who waved at you and knew your name. The road is wider now. Big enough for a tour bus with all its strangers inside. Photo courtesy of Elizabeth Williams was a local, a neighbor, They stay where Bohanan’s cows grazed. They sit in Jacuzzis where honeysuckles grew in their sweetness. I was always glad to live in the country: kids could play in their yards without worrying about a car coming – picking them up, taking them off. But if my country road gets Any more crowded . . . Then I don’t know; I just don’t know. The Scholar May 2009 Edition 10 The Scholar May 2009 Edition 10 The University of Tennessee at Martin’s University Scholars Organization “Surrender” Alyssa Braxton I laugh at myself as I try to manipulate and control these little seconds of life that slip through my fingers. I'm so like a child in so many ways, as I stamp my feet, purse my lips, cry, scream and wail at the situations I can't control. Sometimes I can almost feel God patting me on the head and saying gently, "Daughter, give it to me. Let me handle it." Still I baulk. I plant my feet and tug in the direction I choose until my strength gives out. Only then do I cry out, "God, I need you!!!" Even then I'm reluctant to submit. But why? I ask the question of myself, "If I let God have control of this situation...What if He doesn't give me what I want out of it? What if he says no? What if his answer is not what I want to hear?" My heart quails within me as I run though the possible outcomes, weigh my chances and count my cards. "How will God resolve this, " I anxiously ask myself. I sit and pray that "my" will be done under the guise of "His" will be done, and still I find no peace because I still haven't let go. I wrestle and I plead with God to let me have my way without being consciously aware of it, but God simply takes me by the shoulders and softly speaks two words: "Let go." Instantly I feel his peace wash over me. The words are not an order or a suggestion but a simple statement. I can choose to obey or disobey. When I choose to obey sometimes the decision comes in a torrent of tears, and sometimes it's just a sigh and a simple "ok." But once the decision is made all that remains is peace, and the only thing I can see is my savior Jesus. To some this seems silly. I've had so many people ask me, "What do you want out of life? What do you want to do? What are your dreams, goals, and aspirations?" When I shrug my shoulders and say "I'll do what God wants me to do" some people blatantly look at me like I'm crazy. Some nod their heads in false understanding. Their faces stay cool, calm, and collected but in their minds they berate me for being dependent, for letting some other being control my life. It doesn't matter what they think though. My life isn't my own. I gave it to Jesus when I accepted Him as my savior. In surrendering to God, do I lose myself? Yes, but I gain Christ! God made man in the image of Himself so that man could glorify God. It sounds selfish but no. God deserves this and then some. I count everything for loss that I may glorify God; that's why I am here. It sounds trivial and meaningless, but it is because this life is temporary, and what greater aspiration is there when one takes into account the goodness of God. I guess I say all that to say this: for the first time I understand what surrender is. In all my questions, worries, doubts and fears, what is the worst that can happen if I let God have control?! Doesn't God care for me more that I care for myself? Doesn't He have plans to protect me. not harm me? Didn't He send His only son to die for my sins so I could have a relationship with Him which would otherwise have been impossible? What am I afraid of?! I look at my doubts, my questions, my fears and I laugh. God laughs with me as He takes my hand and says, "Come along daughter. Walk with me." The Scholar May 2009 Edition 11 The Scholar May 2009 Edition 11 The University of Tennessee at Martin’s University Scholars Organization “Animal Rights and Wrongs” Kris Newsom The Difference Between Animal Rights and Welfare and the Misconceptions of Both I recently watched a show on HBO entitled Death on a Factory Farm. This show features a Humane Farming Association (HFA) undercover investigator named “Pete” who worked for six weeks at a hog farm in Ohio which had been accused of animal cruelty. As an agriculturalist, this show led me to think: at a time when American agriculture is advancing at such a tremendous rate and doing such great things for the American economy, is the average consumer aware enough to make educated decisions on agriculture? The animal rights versus animal welfare debate has been present for years, but it seems to have recently become more apparent and publicly recognized by the average consumer. However, the general population uses these words interchangeably without fully understanding the difference between the meanings of these terms. I won’t try to persuade you either way; I merely wish to give you the facts. Animals rights is just that – animal rights. Those individuals supporting this cause believe that animals should have rights just as humans do. They do not believe there should be animal-human relationships except from afar. They wish to terminate domestication. The groups associated with animal rights include People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), the Humane Society of the United States (HSUS) and, as I mentioned earlier, the Humane Farming Association (HFA). Animal welfare supporters encourage and promote the proper treatment of animals. They believe animals can be used for food, labor, research, etc., but should be treated in a manner avoiding unnecessary harm. These groups include the American Humane Association (AHA), American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA), and agriculturalists worldwide. One of the areas that seems to create the most confusion is the difference between HSUS and AHA. Local animal shelters are run by AHA. These are the individuals that rescue domesticated animals and give them shelter. HSUS works closely with PETA to end pet ownership and the exploitation of animals. In fact only 4% of the annual HSUS budget is earmarked for finding pet homes. This is only one of the misconceptions that the American people commonly make. You may be asking yourself, “How is this affecting me? I do not live on a farm, do animal research or even perform in a circus!” The truth is that this issue does not just affect farmers; every person who owns a pet is affected by this debate. In addition, you help support those individuals who work day in and day out to provide nourishment not only our country but also the world. Farmers make up merely 2% of our population, so it is up to the other 98% to make educated choices and decisions when it comes to American agriculture. I encourage you to take a few minutes and research this topic so you can take a stand! The Scholar May 2009 Edition 12 The Scholar May 2009 Edition 12 The University of Tennessee at Martin’s University Scholars Organization “Within the Mirror” Ariella Austin Behind the smile lurks a small part of me This piece lies within me, deep inside; “For You” Alexis Luckey The part that no one else shall ever see To trust within, it ever will abide. I still remember every promise I made They say the eyes are a window to the soul, To myself, inside myself, inside my head. But what lies within them others can ne’er know And so I swore never again would I Deep within these big blue eyes is a hole, No, never again, don't let anyone in. And to no one will I ever show. Every note written on my broken heart To hide what I feel, facades I put on, Because this piece is unacceptable Was played out of key, all over me, all over me. Until the day I finally could see How much you needed me. From the world it has been sealed. Veiled upon, Within the hole, I’m not responsible; All those promises went away, You went in their place to stay. But deep within the mirror I shall see I won, I have you. The part that even I want hid’n from me. This is for you. Photo courtesy of baysideproducts.com You waited so long for my heart to heal, You never left my side. You made me remember how to feel, You made me come alive. This is for you. I swore never again to let them in. But you saved me this time, So can you keep it up? Because I'll need it every time. They try to get in. Please keep it up. This is for you. The Scholar May 2009 Edition 13 The Scholar May 2009 Edition 13 The University of Tennessee at Martin’s University Scholars Organization “Who Am I?” Savannah Smith I was running late for school, and once again I heard a call from the other room. It was Grandaddy, my dad’s dad. I rolled my eyes annoyed that he was bothering me this early in the morning. Why couldn’t he just go back to Mississippi where he belonged? I knew he was sick and needed my family’s help, but I was just too busy right now. “What?” I cried still aggravated, secretly wishing he would go away. After he asked me to do some pointless errand, I ran off to finish getting ready and hoped I wouldn’t miss the bus. I rode to school brooding about Grandaddy sitting there asking me to do things he could do himself. I put the whole ordeal out of my mind as I went through the school day. Christmas was coming up, and that’s all that was important anyway. Later that afternoon, my mom picked me up from school. It was already dark outside by the time we got home. I walked into the kitchen and saw my Nanny and PauPau , my mom’s parents, sitting in chairs. I thought that was kind of weird since they rarely came over for visits during the week. “Why are you guys here?” I asked as I gave them both a hug, happy to see them. Everyone looked silently around the room. No one said a word for what seemed like an eternity. “What’s going on?” I asked, getting worried. “Grandaddy passed away today.” “You’re joking, right? It’s not funny to say those kinds of things. Take it back.” They continued to stare at me blankly. I knew they couldn’t be serious. It wasn’t possible. All I could think about were my nasty thoughts from earlier that day. I had wanted him gone. I had practically wished him dead. I ran up to the room my sister and I shared and saw her on the bed sobbing. My dad had followed me up, and I could see his red-rimmed eyes. All I could do was sit there and think about how I had wished Grandaddy would go away, and now that he was gone I couldn’t even cry for him. I loved him, and I couldn’t even cry for him. I’m so sorry, I thought in my head. I didn’t mean it; I take it back. Just please don’t let this be real. My dad came and sat with me and my sister. He told us that Grandaddy had been a lot sicker than he let on. He had had lung cancer. The cancer was so far gone it had spread to his brain. He had been in so much pain that he just gave up. He killed himself, and my dad had come home and found him. My dad had found his own father dead in a pool of blood and a gun in his hand. What kind of person wishes this upon their family? What kind of person am I? The Scholar May 2009 Edition 14 The Scholar May 2009 Edition 14 The University of Tennessee at Martin’s University Scholars Organization “My Spring Break” I snap more pictures. Elizabeth Williams Not just plastic flowers, but An old toy car, My mom got a Nikon A cracked snow globe, For Christmas. Accompany the tombstones. I got to use it. I went walking. A fresh gravesite I went walking On the east side. Those same familiar roads. Loads of dead flowers Weigh heavy on the ground. Bizarre thoughts and things Pollute those same familiar roads. I take one last shot. I turn around I snap a picture. And I walk, A small creek, rocks, And I walk, A dead coyote, And I walk, Belly-up. Down those unfamiliar roads. Flies, Flies, Flies, Flies. Maggots and Flies, Now remembering: Everything was born to die. Ain’t got nothing to do, But eat it all. [Untitled haiku] Lindsey Slaughter I kept walking. New Hope Cemetery. Green tree fades to brown, while cities thrive beneath it. Empty shell remains. Down that old familiar road. I walk over resting bodies. The ground Sinks and swallows the soles Of my shoes. Brown tree dead and gone, useless, lifeless now? Flowers bloom to take its place. Flowers fade and wilt; above ground, life is fleeting. Both photos courtesy of Elizabeth Williams Below, life returns. The Scholar May 2009 Edition 15 The Scholar May 2009 Edition 15 The University of Tennessee at Martin’s University Scholars Organization “Procrastination: Not Just a Habit, but an Art” Chad Holmes I believe it was Mark Twain who once said, “Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off until the day after tomorrow.” Obviously talking about procrastination, I believe Mark is on to something. I, for one, believe procrastination is a good thing. I feel that it can help prepare you for the real world if you take advantage of it now. Have you ever seen one of those shows where the boss comes in at 3 o’clock and dumps a thousand papers on some guy’s desk and tells him to have them in by 5? Talk about the stress build up. How could anyone be able to work so fast without cracking under pressure? There is an ever growing problem in this country: stress. And the worst part about it is that it worsens as we age. We are all young adults here and so we need start a program for ourselves to help us in the FUTURE when we are extremely stressed, even more so than now. My solution: procrastinate now; be less stressed later in life. I realize this idea sounds crazy at first, but allow me to elaborate. I want you to put yourself in miniature stressful situations now (via procrastination) so that when you are older and actually have a REAL reason to be stressed, you will not even notice it. Procrastinating gives one a lesson in working in a timely manner and also helps with handling stress in future situations. If your whole life has been nothing but you working early and finishing with time left on the clock, guess what—you will freak out when you realize that, sometimes, there just is not enough time. Those who have practiced the art of procrastination, when faced with the same situation, will do a stupendous job. I feel I have mastered this art and all my friends can tell you that I do not act stressed. Ever. I may not be as laid back as Jimmy Buffet or Josh Weiss, but I certainly am not uptight about anything. As an honors student, I have full confidence in the fact that you already procrastinate, and kudos to you for doing that. I am simply writing this to encourage you and let you know that you are doing the right thing. I have researched this topic for over 60 years. You can trust me. For the hooligans out there that may now be thinking they need to procrastinate on everything, I have a word for you: plan. If you procrastinate, do not forget to PLAN enough time for your last second effort. That is all. Good day. A Few Final Thoughts So now that you have all gotten the chance to look over two editions of the new version of The Scholar, tell us what you think! Let us know about suggestions you have or things that should be changed or could be better. We are always open to new ideas. If there is something in particular you would like to see published here, let us know and we will see what we can do about it. An email reminder about the publication requirements and expectations will be sent out at the beginning of the Fall semester to refresh your memories before submitting. And rest assured, The Scholar will be published on a regular basis starting next semester. Good luck to everyone who is moving on to bigger and better things! May you always look back on your time here at UT Martin with fond memories. Everyone have a great summer! -Paige and Erin The Scholar May 2009 Edition 16 The Scholar May 2009 Edition 16
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