STAR
TI
G
friends questions answers discussin
sources food family
fun
communica
NURTURIN
D
N kinship care commu
ing foster Acare
G
ons support
friends questions answ
N
g special needs resources food fam
cation empowering foster care kins
ty connections support friends que
ROUP
G
T
discussing
special
needs
resources
N
DO
E
R
A
P
P
T
E
I
V
n communication empowering fost
community a guide for leaders con
friends questions answers discussin
sources food family fun communica
ing foster care kinship care commu
ons support friends questions answ
g special needs resources food fam
A
S
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
Starting and Nurturing Adoptive Parent Groups
A GUIDE FOR LEADERS
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
By Janet Jerve
October 
ABOUT NACAC
The North American Council on Adoptable Children
(NACAC) is a nonprofit organization dedicated to
supporting adoptive parents, promoting adoption
awareness, informing adoption professionals, and
helping children find permanent, loving families.
Serving parents and professionals throughout the
U.S. and Canada, NACAC publishes materials, conducts training, advocates for system change, and provides support related to:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
II
NACAC also holds the most comprehensive adoption conference in North America. In Minnesota,
NACAC recruits foster and adoptive parents and
provides peer support to adoptive families.
For more information, please contact us at
www.nacac.org, [email protected], or ...
adoption support and preservation
parent group development
adoption subsidies
adoptive and foster parent recruitment
transracial/transcultural parenting
child welfare system reform
kinship care
concurrent planning
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
INTRODUCTION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
CHAPTER 1
PARENT GROUP DEVELOPMENT
Types of Groups . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Evolution of Groups . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
CHAPTER 3
MANAGING GROUP MEETINGS
Understanding Group Process . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Guiding Discussion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Structuring the Meeting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
BECOMING A LEADER
Recognizing Your Leadership Potential. . . . . . . . 
Developing Leadership Characteristics . . . . . . . . 
Networking and Finding a Mentor . . . . . . . . . . . 
Sharing Leadership . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 5
GETTING THE GROUP STARTED
Inviting New Members . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Planning the First Meeting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Evaluating the Success of Your First Meeting . . 
Parent Group Sign-In Sheet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
New Member Questionnaire . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
CHAPTER 4
DEVELOPING GROUP IDENTITY
AND ACTIVITIES
Clarifying Your Identity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Building the Foundation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Planning Group Activities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Tracking Your Progress. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Group Tasks (completed sample) . . . . . . . . . . . 
Contact Tracking Form . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Meetings and Activities (completed sample) . . 
Meetings and Activities (blank) . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Training Survey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
CHAPTER 6
BECOMING A NONPROFIT
ORGANIZATION
Making the Decision. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Getting Help . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Getting Organized . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Writing Articles of Incorporation . . . . . . . . . . . 
Writing Bylaws. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Filing for Tax-Exempt Status . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Future Steps. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Nonprofit Status in Canada . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Sample Articles of Incorporation . . . . . . . . . . . 
Sample Bylaws . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
CHAPTER 7
FINANCIAL PLANNING
AND FUNDRAISING
Developing a Budget . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Keeping Accurate Financial Records . . . . . . . . . 
Identifying Funding Sources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
CHAPTER 8
REJUVENATING YOUR GROUP
Being Creative . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Retaining Members. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Giving People Freedom to Change . . . . . . . . . 
Looking Inward . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Looking Outward . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 
Group Member Telephone Survey . . . . . . . . . . 
CONCLUSION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
III
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
NACAC is grateful for the helpful suggestions
offered by Cindy Johnson, Raymond Moore, Nancy
Ng, George and Marci Shirmer, and Lansing
Wood—all dedicated parent group leaders who
agreed to review a draft of this guide. We also thank
Cindy for allowing us to adapt and include some of
her materials.
We are also indebted to Jeanette Wiedemeier
Bower and Judy Halliday Brown, authors of a previous version of this guide published in .
Starting and Nurturing Adoptive Parent Groups:
IV
A Guide for Leaders found its final form due to the
careful guidance, editing, and skilled leadership of
Diane Martin-Hushman, Joe Kroll, Alicia Groh,
and Mary Boo. Diane Riggs helped out by proofreading the guide.
This publication was made possible through an
Adoption Opportunities grant (#90CO0913) from
the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’
Children’s Bureau.
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
INTRODUCTION
Starting and Nurturing Adoptive Parent Groups: A
Guide for Leaders was written for you—adoptive,
foster, and kinship parents who want to start a parent group. Your desire to lead is an important step
for you and one that will positively affect the quality
of life for families in your community and maybe
even change the systems that determine child welfare policy. It takes courage to be a leader, and you
should be proud of your willingness to help other
parents and children.
As you think about starting a parent group, remember that you don’t have to do it alone. Gather good
people around you to help you take the first step.
You can begin slowly or develop quickly, and however you and your group grow and change, you will
make a difference in the life of a child, a family, a
community, or even a country.
Although this guide starts leaders at the very beginning of the group development process, it is
designed to help leaders and parent groups at all
stages of development. New leaders can work
sequentially, going chapter by chapter as they
progress from organizing their group to creating a
mission and plan, to sponsoring their first event.
Experienced leaders may use the materials by selecting single chapters, segments of chapters, or specific
samples that address their current needs. A group
that has supported the needs of the community for
years may want to focus on chapter  to help them
become a nonprofit organization. Other groups that
are expanding their direct services to families may
be most interested in exploring chapter  on financial planning and fundraising. A group experiencing
membership burnout may feel they have lost the
passion behind their mission and can find suggestions for how to rejuvenate their group in chapter .
Wherever your group may be, this guide is meant to
be one source that can help you and your group do
what you want to do.
However you decide to use this guide, feel free to
share the information generously with others, and
make handouts available to anyone who needs them.
Be creative and adapt any of the exercises and tools
provided to fit your group’s style and culture. Take
your time processing the information and if any
part becomes overwhelming, return to it later when
the timing is right or when you can apply the material to your group.
NACAC has nurtured and supported the efforts of
more than , parent groups across North
America since . Over the years, parent groups
have supported individual families and children,
provided post-adoption services, and recruited
prospective foster and adoptive families. Many
groups have become agents of change—identifying
policies and practices that will help foster children
and adoptive families and working to make those
policies and practices a reality. As a parent group
leader, you are a part of a formidable network of
parents who are dedicated to improving the lives of
foster children, children who have been adopted,
and their families.
As you and your group develop, remember to return
to this guide from time to time, seek out other
resources, stay connected with your community and
other leaders, and contact NACAC if you have questions or need help. Most importantly, don’t ever lose
sight of the collective power that parent leaders have.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
1
chapter one
BECOMING A LEADER
Adoptive, foster, and kinship parents have established and organized parent groups for years. Many
motivated parents have started a group with a clear
and focused mission in mind. Others simply wanted
to help parents connect. Whatever level you may be
at, you should think of yourself as a leader.
DEVELOPING LEADERSHIP CHARACTERISTICS
A strong group needs good leadership to accomplish
its goals. Strong leaders should have the best interests of the group in mind as they help guide the
direction and carry out the mission of the group.
Many of the most effective leaders are the ones who
can listen to advice and input from others.
RECOGNIZING YOUR LEADERSHIP POTENTIAL
Have you ever:
• organized a birthday party for your child?
• participated in a political campaign by collecting
signatures, registering voters, or distributing
campaign literature?
• organized a bake sale, rummage sale, special
event, or fundraiser for your place of worship,
social club, book club, block club, or another
organization?
• chaired a committee or held an office in high
school, college, or in an organization?
• served as the captain of a team sport?
• organized a neighborhood carpool?
If you can answer “yes” to any of these questions, or
have taken on similar activities, you possess leadership skills. You don’t have to be the president of a
company, own your own business, or be a wellknown spokesperson for an organization. All you
need is the ability to envision a desirable future and
get people to support that vision. As a parent, you
do this every day with your children. Whether or
not you have realized it before, you are a leader. The
exercise on the next page will help you identify your
leadership qualities and those that you think are
necessary for a parent group leader to have.
The following eight characteristics are often found
in effective leaders. Think of leaders you admire and
consider whether they are confident, assertive,
hospitable, receptive, goal oriented, flexible, enthusiastic, or humorous. It is rare to possess all of these
characteristics and certainly not necessary or
required of you as a leader. Rather than possess each
one of these qualities, a leader:
• appreciates and values the characteristics
• knows when and how to use them
• draws these qualities out in others
Think about the strengths you have now, the ones
you want to develop, and the characteristics others
might have that could complement your leadership
style. Many parent group leaders share the leadership responsibilities and take advantage of the combined qualities of their team of leaders.
CONFIDENT
If you don’t already have it, one quality that is
important to develop is confidence. Pure and simple, you must believe in yourself. There will be times
when you will feel scared while facing difficulties,
but it will be important for you to project confidence to others. In other words, act as if you feel
confident until it becomes a quality you carry
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
3
EXERCISE: IDENTIFYING YOUR STRENGTHS AS A LEADER
This exercise will help you identify the skills and characteristics that make
you a leader. Take a minute to make a list of your strengths—including both
personality traits and abilities that will help you as a leader.
Are you:
•
•
•
•
•
Part of gaining confidence is
your own willingness to take
risks and actively pursue projects and activities that feature
your strengths, and then to let
yourself expand to try new
things. As you and your group
experience successes, your confidence will grow and give you
the courage to take on even
greater challenges.
honest?
organized?
friendly?
inspiring?
funny?
Are you good at:
•
•
•
•
•
focusing on the big picture?
identifying strengths in others?
communicating with diverse audiences?
convincing others of your vision?
supporting others through difficult times?
ASSERTIVE
Then, make a second list of the skills and qualities you think a good parent
group leader should possess. Compare your lists with the leadership characteristics we’ve identified throughout this chapter and the abilities in the box
on page . Use our suggestions to expand both of your lists.
Next, compare the two lists you have made. Obviously you have many
strengths that will make you a successful parent group leader. Are there
some items in the second list that you don’t have or would like to work on?
Highlight any of the items in the second list that you want to develop
in yourself.
These lists will help you realize the strengths you can rely on as you lead
others, and identify the areas you need to work on to become the type of
leader you aspire to be. If you highlighted any of the skills or characteristics
in the second list, concentrate on developing them. For example, if you need
to enhance your ability to focus on the future, think about and write down
where you see yourself in the future: in three months, six months, one year,
and three years. Then list one or two steps you can realistically take to reach
those goals. Be creative and come back to this list periodically to check
your progress.
with you and can draw from even when tasks are
challenging. Throughout your years as a leader, you
will face multiple challenges, and come up against
roadblocks and obstacles. People will make demands
on your time and on your patience. Because parent
4
group leaders often deal with
difficult issues, accomplishing
goals won’t always be easy.
Confidence will be one key to
your ability to overcome these
obstacles.
Assertiveness goes hand in hand
with confidence. People who
are assertive exude confidence
and are forthright. They stand
up for their rights and beliefs as
well as the rights and beliefs of
others. Assertive people state
what they need from others and
respectfully listen when others
express their needs. Assertive
people take the time to understand themselves, are clear
about what their expectations
and needs are, and directly
express those feelings and
desires to others around them.
For many people, assertiveness
is a tough thing to master.
People who are aggressive
rather than assertive are too
forceful or pushy. They often
annoy others because of their tendency to push their
agenda and because of their inability to listen to
others. On the other end of the spectrum, passive
people often have trouble expressing themselves or
taking action. Passive leaders either can’t get any-
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
thing done because they won’t speak up or are easily
manipulated because they defer to everyone.
Assertive leaders:
• are clear about their position on an issue
• seek more information if something seems
undefined, unfocused, or confusing
• express their viewpoint
• hear and process the viewpoints of others
welcomed to share their knowledge and experience.
If members believe that you are only willing to push
your own agenda, they will lose interest, feel
discounted, and maybe even drop out. It is good to
know you have a lot to share with the group, but if
you are not receptive to the gifts of other group
members, your leadership will feel like a dictatorship
to them.
• discuss differences with an open mind
The following are ways to show that you are a
receptive leader:
• factor in differing view points when making
a decision
• let others voice their opinions before you
voice yours
Look for a book or take a course on assertiveness if
this is a skill you need to strengthen. As a leader, you
will need to assert yourself, your position, and your
cause often.
HOSPITABLE
It is important for you to be hospitable so you can
welcome and attract new members to your group as
well as keep them coming. Hospitality is exhibited to
others in what you do, what you say, and even how
you set up your meeting environment. It is important to be warm, congenial, and friendly; to smile,
shake hands, and make direct eye contact. Think
about your meeting as if you are welcoming guests
into your home—Will members feel comfortable?
Are there refreshments? Will group members sit on
equal ground? Will they be able to see each other? Is
there time set aside for introductions? Is the meeting
room accessible to people with disabilities? Is there a
place and staffing for child care? Think about meetings you have attended: What made a particular
meeting enjoyable or what made another one
uncomfortable? Providing hospitality doesn’t just
happen. It takes planning and a conscious effort to
provide a welcoming environment.
RECEPTIVE
An effective leader is receptive to other group members. Most people expect a leader to lead, but leading doesn’t mean dominating. Groups—especially
adults—are usually much more effective when all
members are valued as intelligent contributors and
• brainstorm ideas with the entire group
• set group goals (not your goals)
• allow the talents and gifts of others to be revealed
• publicly acknowledge those gifts and value them
• encourage group members to use their talents by
serving as officers or taking a leadership role on a
group project or subcommittee
Receptive leaders are comfortable with their
strengths and abilities but know they are not the
only one who can teach the group; they also listen
and learn from others.
GOAL ORIENTED
It is helpful for a group leader to be focused, particularly when the group is planning how to achieve
its goals. One way to hold your focus as a leader is
to prioritize. The group may have many worthy
goals, but only a few of them will be attainable
within the first year. Choose two or three, or if the
goal is a big one, choose only one. Then think of
how you might break the goal(s) down into smaller,
more manageable steps.
A good leader also needs to be able to look ahead
and plan for where the group will be in  months,
 months, and  months and what it will take to get
there. Thinking of those three time increments can
help you to plan for what is realistic to accomplish.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
5
FLEXIBLE
Flexibility is not just a good skill; it is a survival tool.
Many things can happen in a group that will be out
of your control. The more you are able to see new
possibilities, and develop another plan of action
when roadblocks present themselves, the more successful and effective you will be as a leader. If you try
to control everything, you will likely drive people
away and frustrate yourself. It is impossible to control everything, and rigidity can lead to missed
opportunities. When you are flexible, you are open
to the potential of viewing or doing something in
more than one way. When a project comes to a
standstill, for example, remaining flexible allows you
to consider a new plan of action. A leader who is
flexible is better able to listen to input from other
group members and incorporate their best ideas
into a solid strategy.
ENTHUSIASTIC
When you are enthusiastic about what you are
doing, your energy and excitement will spread to
others and engage them to join you. If a leader is
enthused about the group, new people will want
to join and share their energy and talents. When
talents flourish and the enthusiasm grows beyond
the group, members from the community may take
notice and even help the group attain its goals.
HUMOROUS
Last but not least, it is fun to be around a parent
leader who enjoys humor and laughter. Like your
role as a parent, your job as a leader can be rewarding but also stressful. Leaders who know how to
laugh at themselves and at situations can reduce
their stress and the stress of others. Research shows
that laughter may reduce your physical pain and
improve your emotional well-being. Laughter can
help you live through any unpleasant situation. It
can even promote clear thinking when ideas seem
blocked. Learn to find humor in the ups and downs
of leadership.
While being a parent is a stressful job, most parents
have funny stories to tell about their parenting expe-
6
riences. Finding humor in everyday living brings
people together. Some of the stories we tell weren’t
so funny when they happened, but with perspective
we can see the humorous side to them, and
sometimes what we learned can help others.
As a group leader, encouraging laughter can
help you:
• keep your cool in stressful situations
• reduce tension
• avert explosive situations when communicating
with those who oppose you
• grab and keep your audience’s attention
• communicate an unpopular message in a manner
that deflects antagonism
• give you ammunition that can disarm the most
powerful opponent
• find common ground with others in order to
bring about a win-win agreement
Watch for situations where humor is not appropriate. For example, if a parent relays personal information needing serious attention from the group,
follow the parent’s lead. Let him choose if humor
is appropriate for a situation. Don’t decide for
someone else whether a situation is funny.
In general, be open to laughter. The people around
you will appreciate your spirit and will enjoy their
work more. If you can infuse humor into the
group, you will attract and maintain members, be
more effective in your work, and have fun while
you’re at it.
NETWORKING AND FINDING A MENTOR
As you take steps toward leadership, remember that
you don’t have to do this alone. Contact other parent groups in your area to see what they are doing
well. Think about why certain groups are successful.
Learn from those around you to develop new ideas
of your own. Discuss your desire to start a new
parent group with the other group leaders and
members and ask for their support.
A good first step in becoming a leader is to find a
mentor. When you identify someone who you
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
think would be a good match, ask if he or she is
willing to be your mentor. Ideally, you will find a
person who has had experience leading a parent
group or another kind of support group. Your
mentor can guide and advise you as your leadership skills grow and mature. If you can’t find a
mentor from an established parent group, maybe
there is a community leader—a volunteer coordinator, parent/teacher organization president, or
religious leader—who has the qualities and skills
you want to develop within yourself. Ask someone
you respect if he or she would be willing to give
you advice, answer questions, and provide moral
support as you begin your parent group. Choose a
person who seems to best fit your personality and
understands your goals. Remember to make use of
your mentor, especially when your confidence
seems to fade or problems arise.
Remember that you have talents to offer too. A
measure of a successful mentoring relationship is
that the two of you build on each other’s strengths.
Many mentors have said that what makes a mentorship rewarding for them is how much they learn
from the person they advise.
If there isn’t the right mentor in your community, it
is possible to find a parent group leader from almost
anywhere in North America using the Internet. The
use of e-mail has made it much easier for group
leaders to communicate even across great distances.
SHARING LEADERSHIP
Even if you are a confident leader and feel ready
to start a parent group, it is a good idea to gather
others around you to share the leadership responsibilities. Leading a group is a time- and energyconsuming undertaking and one way to ensure that
you sustain your enthusiasm, drive, and commitment is to find others to help you. Calling together
a leadership circle—others who share your vision
and want to help you lead—not only divides
responsibilities but can be fun.
A GOOD LEADER:
• focuses on mission
• delegates tasks
• displays self-confidence
• provides guidance
• serves as a resource to members
• protects the best interests of the group (rather
than personal agendas)
• concentrates on the needs of the group
• supports others
• makes action plans
• prioritizes work
• evaluates the group’s work
• focuses on the future
• accepts responsibility for successes and failures
• shares success with others
• demonstrates good time management
• listens to suggestions and constructive criticism
• knows when to say “no”
FINDING OTHER LEADERS
Most groups form because the members have something in common. For example, parents who have
adopted older children from the foster care system
will most likely benefit from being in a group with
others who are living through similar experiences.
Those who have adopted internationally may want
to be with other families whose children are making
adjustments to family life versus orphanage life, as
well as a new culture and language. Older kinship
parents might want practical tips from contemporaries for how to pace themselves as they parent the
second time around.
Think of people you know who have adopted, or are
foster or kinship care providers. Maybe there are
people who attended training sessions at the same
time you did who would like to be a member of your
leadership circle and help get the group started. Tell
local public and private agencies that you are looking
for interested people to help lead your group.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
7
If you don’t know any potential foster, kinship, or
adoptive parent leaders in your area, you can post
signs in local clinics, churches, and grocery stores to
try to find potential members of your leadership circle. You can also advertise in newspapers or on the
Internet. If you live in a rural location and know
there are no other adoptive, foster, or kinship families in your immediate area, you will have to make a
broader publicity effort to find leaders who can
commit to traveling to a central location. Doing all
the work alone may seem easier now, but in the long
run you will be glad you took the time to find other
people to help form the group and develop the plan
to get it started.
Dividing Roles
ORGANIZING THE LEADERSHIP CIRCLE
Some groups organize their leadership circle by
tasks that need to be done. For example, in the early
months of your group, one person could develop
strategies for recruiting members, another could
scout out and secure a free meeting site, a third person could plan publicity, a fourth person could find
volunteers for child care and arrange for food, and
two members could plan the first meeting. It is
important for the leaders of a group to play to
members’ strengths and to encourage all members
to use their talents to enhance the effectiveness of
the group. It makes sense to have your computer
whiz design your group’s web site, your writer compose your newsletter, and your accountant help
with finances.
Selecting a Co-Leader
As a founding member of the group, you may
choose to be a primary leader even within a larger
leadership circle. On the other hand, you may
choose a co-leader who shares your vision and goals.
This could be a longtime friend, spouse, or partner,
or another parent you have met. Make sure it is
someone who shares your enthusiasm, drive, and
vision for a parent group.
If you think you have found a co-leader, make sure
you clearly discuss your vision for a group with this
person. Before taking on leadership together, it is
also a good idea to talk about how you will share the
role and try to determine whether your leadership
styles will complement each other. Maybe you are
someone who can see the big picture and is not
afraid to set challenging goals. Maybe your partner
is more detail-oriented and knows how to achieve
outcomes by breaking goals down into smaller steps.
Maybe one of you is the more dynamic personality
and the other would rather work quietly in the
background. No matter what type of style you have,
it is a good idea to discuss how you will approach
the job of co-leading a group.
8
Your leadership circle will need to identify how it
will share responsibilities. Some groups organize
their leadership by committee or general task. For
example, one leader could chair the membership
committee, another the finance committee, another
the outreach committee, etc. If your group later
decides to become a nonprofit organization (as outlined in chapter ), you will need to name group
officers. In this case you may want to choose a president, vice president, secretary, and treasurer. Coleaders may wish to keep their role as equals, but
would benefit from having some other positions
specified, such as treasurer.
However the workload is shared—whether it works
for your group to hold static positions with office
titles, or whether your group wants to allow for
more fluidity and let leaders step forward when their
talents match a task—dividing the work makes sense
in the long run. Whatever way your group decides to
organize itself, forming a strong leadership circle is a
healthy step in the right direction.
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
chapter two
PARENT GROUP DEVELOPMENT
As you decide to form a group, it can be helpful to
look at different types of parent groups and examine
how they function. Adoptive, foster, and kinship
parents organize into groups because of a basic
shared concern for children and families, but their
focus can vary widely.
TYPES OF GROUPS
The following framework describes the primary
types of parent groups.
systems can be overwhelming, and therefore parents
turn to each other to vent their frustrations and to
offer each other support. They come together to
more effectively achieve their individual objectives.
The life span of a frustration venting group tends to
be short because parents often leave such a group
once their immediate and individual concerns are
addressed, such as the finalization of an adoption or
an allocation of money for respite care. As a result,
turnover in this type of group is high.
MUTUAL SUPPORT GROUP
FRUSTRATION VENTING GROUP
Adoptive, foster, and kinship parents know first
hand the issues other parents face, the support
needed to deal with a large bureaucratic system, and
the challenges of parenting a child who has special
needs. They also know how hard it can be to try to
move forward with a foster placement, adoption, or
to get services from their county or agency. Many
foster and adoptive parents discover that they share
similar concerns and questions about the child welfare system, such as:
• Why does it take so long get a home study?
• Why didn’t I receive complete information about
my child?
• Why doesn’t the agency seem to be sensitive to the
needs of families of color?
• Why are relatives overlooked as caregivers for children who need foster and adoptive homes?
Parents who join a frustration venting group are
usually discouraged and irritated by the adoption
and foster care systems. The size and power of these
Mutual support groups typically form after adoptions are finalized or foster children are placed—
often when parents of children with similar needs
come together to share concerns and provide longterm support to one another. These groups help
current or prospective adoptive and foster parents
realize that their experiences are not unusual, affirm
that they have valuable information to exchange,
and share insights about parenting. The main focus
of a support group is to encourage members in their
day-to-day parenting and to provide a nurturing
place for adoptive, foster, and kinship families to
come for advice, sharing, and social activities with
families like their own.
A support group grows by welcoming new members, but continues in its mission to focus on the
social, emotional, and community needs of its
membership. Many mutual support groups organize
and offer telephone help lines for members to call
when they need advice or help with a problem.
Some groups have also developed buddy or mentor
programs where they match an experienced parent
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
9
SERVING THE COMMUNITY AT ANY LEVEL
Many parent groups find that identifying quality adoption-related
resources is valuable for their members. This activity can begin as a simple support function and grow into a much broader service to parents and
the community:
CREATING A LIST OF RESOURCES
One group found a simple way to help families find local resources on adoption and special needs. Volunteers from the group went to the library and,
with help from the local librarians, were able to create a list of all the available books, videos, journals, etc. on their topic. They typed up the list, with
titles, authors’ names, and brief descriptions of each resource. The list is now
available to everyone in the group.
ESTABLISHING A LENDING LIBRARY
Another group that had a little more time and money developed its own
adoption library. Members identified the must-have books, journals,
newsletters, etc., and either purchased the items or requested free copies. The
group then developed a list of resources by topics, and identified a method
through which parents can borrow the materials they need.
want to provide meaningful
services to adoptive and foster
families. They form service
groups to bridge the gap
between the needs of adoptive
and foster families and the
offerings of the existing systems.
As parents themselves, members of service groups are able
to identify needs and offer
more comprehensive and
appropriate services to families.
Service groups may recruit foster and adoptive parents; write
adoption education curriculum
for schools; provide adoption
awareness training for the community, school administrators,
and teachers; and offer postadoption training for parents
and professionals.
ADVOCACY GROUP
DEVELOPING AN ONLINE DIRECTORY
Parent groups that initially
form as or evolve into an advocacy group want to change the
system to more effectively and
respectfully meet the needs of
children and families. The focus
of an advocacy group is to seek
social justice. They challenge
the ways in which services are
delivered to children and families. Lobbying for new
laws, advocating for practice changes, and holding the
system accountable for services to children and families
are activities typical of advocacy groups. Many advocacy
groups lobby for adopted children to receive post-adoption assistance and mental health services. Others seek
changes that will find families for children more quickly.
These groups focus on the bigger picture and are less
involved in meeting their members’ individual social
and emotional needs.
At a higher level, a Pennsylvania parent group developed an extensive
resource directory of other supportive services (therapists, agencies, other
support groups, camps, and more). Group leaders then created an online
directory where parents can click on their county name to see a list of
resources sorted by type.
with an inexperienced parent or group families of a
similar make-up, such as families who have adopted
sibling groups or medically fragile children.
SERVICE GROUP
As parent groups spend more time working with the
child welfare system, they can begin to see that the
system does not do everything possible to bring
waiting children and waiting families together. Also,
as parents raise their children, the need for services
that address children’s special needs becomes clear.
Members of service groups are often parents who
10
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
COMPARING GROUP TYPES
type of group
reason for existence
purpose
program/services
structure
FRUSTRATION
VENTING GROUP
parents have a
problem with the
child welfare system
enable parents to air
problems, share
frustrations, meet
their short-term
needs
discussing what’s
wrong with the
system and how it
affects family
informal (no
officers, few defined
activities, parents
often involved for
only a short time)
MUTUAL SUPPORT parents need advice
GROUP
and resources from
one another
help families address
adoption issues or
children’s special
needs; provide
long-term emotional
support
social events, brainstorming solutions to
challenges, sharing
emotional support,
validating adoption
experience
semi-formal (group
may have officers,
but not likely to be
incorporated and has
limited funding)
SERVICE GROUP
parents see way to
fill gaps in family
services
provide helpful
support services
to families and/or
children in the
community
offering workshops,
printed resources,
post-adoption
services; recruiting
prospective adopters
formal (group has
bylaws, nonprofit
status, seeks grants
or contracts)
ADVOCACY
GROUP
parents see problems
in child welfare
system and identify
possible solutions
change the child
welfare system to
better serve children
and families in their
local region, state/
province, or country
working for policy
and practice changes
at local, provincial/
state, or national levels; educating policymakers and others
about family needs
formal (group has
nonprofit status, seeks
funds, has strategic
plan, has broader
membership and
board representation
than adoptive parents)
EVOLUTION OF GROUPS
Over time, some groups evolve in a linear fashion (as
shown below), starting as a frustration venting group
and eventually becoming an advocacy group.
Frustration
Venting
Mutual
Support
Service
Advocacy
Other groups don’t move in a linear way. Some
groups may remain a mutual support group for their
entire existence if that is their members’ goal. A
group may start out as a frustration venting group,
grow and evolve into a mutual support group and
then a service group, lose members, and operate
again as a mutual support group. Individual parent
groups rarely operate at a single level. In fact, many
operate at several levels at the same time. A group
may provide a support function for new and
prospective adoptive families, while they also advocate for systemic changes.
Every group decides what its purpose is and how it
will serve families. As a group leader, your job is to
make sure the group decides what its goals are and
stays true to meeting those goals or grows—with foresight and planning—into a different type of group.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
11
chapter three
GETTING THE GROUP STARTED
As a group leader, one of your first tasks is to find
other group members and organize your first public
meeting. Below you will find ideas for recruiting
new members and strategies to help you plan your
first meeting so that members come back to the
group. Early meetings will likely involve getting to
know each other and providing informal support,
while later meetings may involve deciding on your
group’s direction and goals.
INVITING NEW MEMBERS
When you begin to plan how you will recruit new
members for a first meeting, you should take into
consideration location, day and time, and how you
will publicize the meeting.
LOCATION
Make sure the location you choose is comfortable
and convenient and will encourage participation.
Although some groups meet in each other’s homes,
most groups use a meeting room in a public library,
school, place of worship, bank community room,
local agency, or park building for little or no cost.
Meeting in each other’s homes might feel more personal and private, but meeting in the local library
might be easier for the members or provide a more
equal driving distance for people in outlying areas.
Decide what suits your situation, but make sure that
the meeting space is centrally located and accessible
to as many people as possible.
DAY AND TIME
Holding your meeting during a weekday evening or
on the weekend will probably encourage the greatest
attendance since most people usually work during
the day or have full schedules during the week. At
your first meeting, ask attendees what day and time
are best for future meetings.
PUBLICITY
There are several ways to find potentially interested
families for your group:
• Word of mouth—Generate a list of family, friends,
neighbors, co-workers, and acquaintances of your
leadership circle who are adoptive, foster, or kinship parents. You may surprise yourselves by coming up with a list of 10 to 15 potential members.
Many groups have formed just by word of mouth.
• Contact agencies—Public and private adoption
agencies cannot legally give you the names of
adoptive parents and may not want to give out
foster parents’ names, but they are often willing
to post your meeting announcement or include
it in a mailing. In fact, some social workers and
agencies are willing to help you plan your meetings or provide a space for you to meet.
• Attend adoption and foster parent orientation
meetings or training sessions—Ask if you can
attend an orientation meeting to announce that
you are starting a new group, and start developing
a list of interested people.
• Distribute posters and flyers—You can display
flyers in supermarkets, places of worship, fitness
centers, doctors’ offices, schools, libraries, stores,
post offices, and anywhere else you might be able
to reach adoptive parents. You can also canvass
the neighborhood with flyers. If you use flyers,
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
13
TIPS FOR SETTING THE TONE
When you plan for your group you want to set the right tone and create an
atmosphere that is inviting. Keep the three Fs in mind: food, family, and fun.
Food—Sharing food eases group tension and adds a dimension of pleasure
to the meeting. At first, the leadership circle will probably take turns
providing food and beverages for the meetings, but after that you can
have each member sign up for a turn.
Family—To attract members, your highest priority is to select a meeting
time and space that is convenient for families. Next, think about how your
group will accommodate children. They will not only need a space to play
but also activities to do while their parents meet. You will also want your
meeting content to be relevant to your members and their specific experiences and family issues.
Fun—Fun is first expressed through the attitude of the leadership. As a
leader, it is your job to offer activities that are fun and remain open to
laughter and joy. Think of the funny stories you have from your own parenting experiences or from your childhood. Sharing one of these stories
might be the way to set the tone for the first meeting.
One group worked hard keeping food, family, and fun in mind as they
recruited families and planned their meetings. They knew how to:
• make FOOD fun when they asked each family to bring a different
ingredient to make tacos—shells, filling, sour cream, salsa—then topped
off the meal with make-your-own ice cream sundaes.
• keep FAMILY needs in mind by providing separate activities for children
so that the parents can get the support that the group offers. The kids
enjoy being with other foster and adopted children, and value time spent
with other families that are just like theirs.
• keep the FUN rolling with door prizes for everyone, volleyball for big kids,
crafts for little ones, a trip to a farm, and picnics at the lake.
make sure they include all the information a
prospective member will need: information about
the group, date, time, location (with directions),
contact names, and phone numbers. The flyer will
probably be the only source of information that
prospective members have, so it should be clear
and thorough.
• Use the media—Consider a more traditional
means of publicity, such as advertising in community newspapers. You can write to the editor of the
local paper and include a news release, talk to the
program directors of your local radio and TV
14
stations to arrange an interview or ask the directors to
make a public service
announcement to publicize
your group. You can also ask
to be listed on the free community calendar that many
stations offer.
• Contact professionals who
work with adoptive
families—You may want to
contact adoption lawyers,
doctors, therapists, and psychologists. Ask them if they
will display an announcement
in their office or include a
flyer in one of their general
mailings.
INVITATION LETTER AND
QUESTIONNAIRE
Once you have developed a list
of prospective members, you
will want to send them an
introductory letter and new
member questionnaire so that
you can gather more information about them. A sample letter (page ) and questionnaire
(page ) are included at the
end of this chapter. You can
either have people mail the
form to you or bring it to the
first meeting.
PLANNING THE FIRST MEETING
Arrange the meeting space—Once you have found
your location, make sure you have enough comfortable chairs and arrange them in a way that invites
participation and helps people to get to know each
other. An open circle works well.
Have a sign-in sheet—Prepare a sign-in sheet to collect attendees’ names, addresses, children’s names
and ages, e-mail addresses, and phone numbers to
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
create a group contact list.
This list, once distributed
to the group, will help
members form relationships and share resources,
and provide them with
names for child care and
respite care trading opportunities. It is probably most
efficient to pass the sign-in
sheet around at the beginning of the meeting. Make
sure you distribute this list
to members at the second
meeting and keep it
updated. Look for the sample sign-in sheet on page .
FIRST MEETING TIPS
Smile—People want to join a friendly group. You may be nervous for the
first meeting and don’t realize you look concerned. Relax, take some deep
breaths, and smile.
Don’t move faster than the group—If your agenda is too long, don’t try to
rush through it; save some things for the next meeting. For example, if you
have a large turnout, don’t ever cut introductions to give the speaker more
time. Especially early on in the group’s formation, group members need to
get to know each other. If you have a meeting where the group needs more
time—to understand content, ask questions, or discuss issues—slow down.
Respect the natural pace of the group.
Give new members something to take home—Don’t end the meeting without giving the members contact information for the leaders.
Tell people how they will be notified of the next meeting—Remember,
Arrange for child care—
you are just getting started and people may need a reminder for the next
Community service clubs
meeting. If you say you will mail an invitation, you must follow through.
such as Girl Scouts, reliE-mailing or calling each attendee is cheaper and the duty can be divided
gious youth groups, and
among the leadership circle.
school clubs; retired teachEnd on a positive note—Plan to share a joke, cartoon, phrase, or saying
ers; or members of AARP
from one of your children that will make people laugh or smile.
may be willing to donate
their time to provide child
care during your meetings.
Develop the meeting content—A general rule when
You can also ask older children to work with an adult
you plan a meeting is to vary your activities to allow
to provide child care. Groups on a limited budget
for both active and passive participation from memsometimes have members trade off as child care
bers. Keep in mind that people learn in different
providers, which does save money, but excludes a
ways—by listening, observing, doing, and interactmember from the meeting. Members could also
ing with each other.
agree to each pay a couple of dollars per meeting to
hire someone. Plan ahead for children who may have
Sometimes you may want to energize the group by
social, emotional, or physical special needs and make
bringing in an outside expert who can show the
sure the child care providers are prepared to properly
group something new. Maybe you know an attachcare for the children.
ment expert who would be willing to speak for free.
Whatever you do, avoid the temptation of inviting a
well-respected, but boring, speaker and don’t let
your speaker take all the group’s time. If you do have
CHECKLIST FOR THE FIRST MEETING
a speaker, assign someone to introduce the person
❏ Arrange the meeting space
and make sure the introduction and presentation
❏ Have a sign-in sheet
run no longer than  minutes.
❏ Arrange for child care
❏ Develop the meeting content
❏ Write out an agenda
❏ Welcome new members
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
15
SAMPLE AGENDA FOR FIRST MEETING
:‒: pm
Welcome and opening remarks
:‒: pm
Introductions (Ask everyone to introduce themselves: name, number of
children, and show pictures of their children.)
:‒: pm
Introduce leaders (Have each leader tell why they wanted to start a support
group. Ask attendees to think about why they came to the group and what
they hope to get out of a group.)
:‒: pm
Refreshments (Break for refreshments and socializing.)
:‒: pm
Discussion: Why We’re Here (Allow parents time to share why they came
and what they want from a support group.)
:‒: pm
Select Meeting Time (Ask attendees to state preferences for future meeting
locations and times. Discuss the best time and place and how to remind
people of the next meeting. Hand out questionnaires or collect previously distributed questionnaires.)
Next, you may want to introduce your leadership circle and
have each leader talk briefly (
to  minutes) about why he
wanted to start a group. Then
give the group a break for light
refreshments. The break gives
attendees time to socialize and
talk to each other informally
about what the leaders shared.
It also gives them time to formulate their thoughts and think
of questions they might want to
ask during the group discussion
after the break.
Pull the group back together to
discuss why members want to
be part of a group. The discussion is important and you want
to allow ample time for parents
to offer and receive support.
(Chapter  tells how you can
lead your group through a
more formal discussion about
your purpose at a later time.)
: pm
Adjourn (Welcome people to stay and visit until 9:30 when you should
start cleaning up the room.)
At your first meeting, you will probably want to
start with some kind of icebreaker—a joke, funny
story, or a brief activity to help the group feel comfortable. Then have the attendees introduce themselves by answering a common question or
completing a statement, such as:
• How many children do you have and what are
their ages?
• Looking back over my week,
the bad news is ________________,
but the good news is ________________.
This is a good time to let attendees talk briefly about
their children and share pictures.
16
Make sure you leave time for
the group to agree upon the
date, time, and location for the
next meeting as well as future
topics. Adjourn the meeting
formally and allow members to
socialize for  to  minutes after the meeting.
Write out an agenda—Clearly identify and spell out
the format and goals for the first meeting in a written agenda. Either copy the agenda for each member
or post it in the meeting room where everyone can
see it. See the sample agenda on the left.
Welcome new members—Appoint someone to greet
and welcome people as they arrive and make sure
they get name-tags, find the coat rack, and locate the
rest rooms. Assign someone to direct the children to
their area. A welcome poster and any other information on adoption-related community events make a
nice added touch.
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
EVALUATING THE
SUCCESS OF YOUR FIRST
MEETING
Your leadership circle
should take time to evaluate the success of your first
meeting and use the information to help plan for
future meetings. Before the
end of the meeting, ask the
group:
• “What worked for you?”
• “What could we do
better?” Note any themes.
Right after the meeting,
take a few minutes to note:
• the number of families
who attended
• the comfort level or
mood of the group
• the length and depth of
the discussion
• the agenda items you
were able to accomplish
SAMPLE INVITATION LETTER
[date]
Dear [name of adoptive or prospective adoptive parent]:
Last month several adoptive parents from your area met to plan how we
could help support adoptive families in our community. We are interested in
starting an adoptive parent group and would like you to join us. Adoption is a
unique experience, and we would like to provide an opportunity for prospective and current adoptive parents to come together, meet each other, discuss
common concerns, build a network of support, and have fun.
To help us to plan our group meetings to best meet the needs of prospective
and current adoptive families, we have enclosed a questionnaire. We know
that you are busy, but ask that you fill it out and return it to us by [date].
After we receive your survey, we will send more information to you about our
kick-off meeting. If you have additional questions, please contact [name(s)] at
[phone number(s) and e-mail address(es)].
Thanks. We hope you can join us!
Sincerely,
[leaders’ names]
[address]
• what you might include next time or things to
improve
• things you hadn’t anticipated and want to address
next time
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
17
18
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
Parents’ Names
Children’s Names and Ages
PARENT GROUP SIGN-IN SHEET
Address
Phone
E-mail
DATE:_________ EVENT:__________________________
NEW MEMBER QUESTIONNAIRE
. Would you like to participate in an adoptive
parent group?
____ Yes
____ No
____ Maybe. Please keep me informed of your
group’s activities.
If no, why?
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
. If you would like to attend parent group meetings,
but can’t right now, please explain why:
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
. Are you a(n) (please mark all that apply):
____ Adoptive parent
____ Foster parent
____ Kinship parent
____ Prospective adoptive parent
____ Other (please specify)
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
. If applicable, how long have you been an
adoptive parent?
_________________________________________
. Mark all that describe your family:
____ Single adoptive parent
____ Family with multiple adoptions
____ Family with biological and adopted children
____ Transracial adoptive family
____ Gay/lesbian (GLBT) adoptive parent(s)
____ Other (please specify):
. Please tell us if you have adopted (please mark all
that apply):
____ A sibling group
____ An older child/children
____ A physically disabled child/children
____ An emotionally injured child/children
____ An internationally adopted child/children
____ An infant/infants
____ A relative’s or friend’s child/children
____ A child/children of a different race or ethnicity
____ Other (please specify):
_________________________________________
. List the age(s) of your child/children.
_________________________________________
. Place a check mark next to the topics you most would
like to discuss with other parents.
____ Strengthening parent-child relationships
____ Behavior of children
____ Adolescent needs and behavior
____ Reactions of family and friends about adoption
____ Age-appropriate child development
____ Addressing child’s questions about adoption/
birth family
____ Sexual acting out
____ Anger/destructiveness
____ School-related problems
____ Making changes in state/provincial adoption laws
____ Addressing legal issues related to adoption
____ Adoption assistance/adoption subsidies
____ Post-adoption services
____ Special needs
____ Allegations
____ Other (please describe):
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
19
. How often would you like to meet? (Check one.)
____ Once a month
____ Every other month
____ Once a quarter
____ Other (please specify):
Your name(s)
_________________________________________
Address_____________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
State/Province_______________________________
Zip/Postal Code______________________________
. When is the best time for you to meet?
____ Daytime hours (time preferred: ____________)
____ Early evenings (:-: pm)
____ Late evenings (:-: pm)
____ Saturday mornings
____ Saturday afternoons
____ Sunday afternoons
____ Sunday evenings
____ Other (please specify):
_________________________________________
Home Phone________________________________
Work Phone_________________________________
E-mail_____________________________________
I give permission for my/our name(s), address, e-mail
address(es), and phone number(s) to be shared with
the parent group leaders for the purpose of contacting me about future activities.
_________________________________________
Signature _____________________________________
. If a parent group were formed, would you be willing
to help:
Date _________________________________________
____ With refreshments
____ Provide transportation for another parent
____ Make telephone calls
____ Prepare mailings
____ Greet newcomers and make them feel welcome
____ Prepare the room before or after the meeting
____ Plan group meetings/activities
____ Find child care
____ Other (please specify):
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
. What special skills do you have to offer a group of
this nature? (Are you skilled at word processing,
graphic design, accounting, training, writing,
fundraising, bargain shopping, etc.?)
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
20
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
chapter four
DEVELOPING GROUP IDENTITY AND ACTIVITIES
Every group forms its own identity in a different
way. Some evolve organically; others take time to
decide who they are and carefully plan what they
want to do. If the parent group is to be effective, the
leaders and members will eventually have to decide
together if they want to be a frustration venting
group, mutual support group, service group, advocacy group, or some combination. To do this, the
group will first need to determine their most important common needs, then choose activities that most
effectively address those needs.
After your group has had several meetings, you may
find yourselves ready to formalize who you are and
what you want to accomplish. This chapter will help
you clarify your group’s needs and identify activities
that will meet those needs. The brainstorming and
planning described below should include your leadership team and any members you have recruited.
Taking time to plan is valuable—groups that
become involved in activities without planning can
seem unfocused and unresponsive to the group and
risk losing people.
While you are undertaking the planning process,
continue to have group meetings that meet your
members’ immediate need for socializing and support. The planning process can be taken in stages
as you and your members are ready. If you need to
break the process into stages—take on a stage every
three months or so.
• building a foundation—What should we call our
group? What is our mission?
• choosing activities and developing a work plan—
What can we do to address the needs we identified? Who will do what when?
• tracking progress—How do we know if we are
meeting group needs and making the difference
we wanted to make?
Some groups will agree quickly on their needs and
activities, but others will require many discussions.
Be patient and work through the planning process
together. Keep in mind that many groups will need
to go through planning again over time—as new
members join and needs change. In the future, if the
group decides to change (shifting from providing
mutual support to offering services, for example), it
will have to reassess members’ needs and make sure
any new activities reflect those needs.
CLARIFYING YOUR IDENTITY
Use the brainstorming exercise on the next page to
start your planning process. It will help clarify who
you are and why you have come together as a group.
During the discussion, you will also identify the
underlying needs or problems you want to address.
The planning process involves four major steps:
• clarifying identity—Who are we? What
do we care about? What problem do we want
to address? What are our needs?
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
21
In many cases, the leader
of the discussion will
need to help members
explore why they want to
be in a parent group and
keep them from jumping
ahead to the activities
they want the group to
undertake. Many people
express their needs in
terms of activities or
solutions they think will
help, rather than getting
to the root of the problem. The chart at the
bottom of the page
demonstrates a parent’s
possible initial response
and the underlying problem that a facilitator
might help draw out.
If you identify the underlying issue, you can later
identify many solutions
that are potentially more
effective than what the
parent thought she
needed. For example, the
parent cited in the chart at
the right who wants training because she needs
ideas or parenting strategies might be equally well
served by a fact sheet,
book, or resource manual
instead of training.
By the end of this discussion you will have identified a common purpose,
in the form of prioritized
needs your group wants to
meet, and will be ready to
move to on the next stage
of the planning process.
22
EXERCISE: IDENTIFY YOUR PURPOSE
Have everyone in your group answer these questions individually. Allow  to
 minutes.
1.Who are we? What do we have in common? (for example: transracial
adoptive parents, kinship care providers, parents raising children with
special needs)
2.Why are we here in this group? What needs or issues do we want to
address? (for example: I feel alone, none of my friends understands adoption,
I’m having problems with my child’s school, my child has been discriminated
against, the system isn’t working for kids, my child’s behavior is out of control)
3.What difference do we want to make? (for example: we want adoptive families to have other families to rely on, teachers to be aware of children’s special
needs, the local agency to provide post-adoption services, parents to have
effective strategies for managing children’s behavior)
After everyone has had time to formulate opinions, list all ideas and the
number of people who gave each response. Discuss the responses, making
sure that everyone has an opportunity to participate and prioritize. During
your discussion, you will need to narrow your focus by identifying the issues
that are most important to the entire group. You will use this final list of
needs and issues later when you brainstorm activities for the group. Keep in
mind the difference you want to make—your goal is to make a change that
solves a problem or meets a need.
A parent says, “I’m here because I …” The underlying issue or problem might
be that the parent:
want to talk with other parents
feels isolated
needs suggestions from other parents
feels crazy; needs to normalize
adoption experience
want training
is looking for resources, ideas,
parenting strategies
feels isolated
needs to talk with other parents who
share the same experience
am a transracial adoptive parent
wants child to have friends of color
wants connections with people from the
child’s culture of origin
needs help dealing with racism
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
BUILDING THE FOUNDATION
Once you have identified common ground and the
issues you have joined together to address, you
can begin to formalize your group’s identity by
choosing a name and writing a mission statement.
These steps often begin with group brainstorming
sessions and then are continued by a smaller committee who develops recommendations to bring
back to the whole group. Whenever possible, try to
keep the process fun and engaging for all group
members.
CHOOSING YOUR NAME
ing what you are now. It can be helpful to address
the following three questions in the statement:
• Why are we here?
• What do we believe?
• What do we do?
The following two fictional examples demonstrate
how a mission statement can answer these questions:
Louisville Family Support Group believes strong
families are the foundation of the community and is
committed to strengthening families by providing a
network of support to transracially adopted children,
their siblings, and parents.
• Why are we here?—to strengthen transracial
When you are ready to formally name your group,
families
have members shout out words or phrases that they
• What do we believe?—families are the foundation
think capture the essence of the group’s identity.
of the community
Encourage everyone to contribute and gather a large
list of possibilities. Think about the image or mes• What do we do?—provide a network of support
sage you want to project to prospective members
to transracially adopted children, their siblings,
and the broader community. Do you want a name
and parents
like South Minneapolis Adoptive Parents Association,
describing that you are
adoptive parents from a
specific geographical locaTIPS FOR DEVELOPING A MISSION STATEMENT
tion? Or, do you want a
name like Adoptive Parents
When the time comes to develop a mission statement, you need a strategy.
United or Together Forever?
We recommend a lot of group participation, with one person in charge of
Don’t rush your discussion
shepherding the process. Groups can:
and be creative; you want to
• identify a strong writer with good organizational skills to lead the
find a name that fits your
statement development
group well.
• host a brainstorming session with all leaders and members—have
participants suggest any words or phrases that reflect the group’s possible
WRITING YOUR
identity, beliefs, and actions; write every statement down on a flip chart
MISSION STATEMENT
and don’t critique anything at this stage
A mission statement is a
sentence or two that
describes who you are and
the difference the group
wants to make. When you
and other group members
draft the statement, boldly
state what you hope to be
rather than simply describ-
• have participants vote on the ideas that most reflect their needs and goals
for the group; rank statements in order of relevance and importance
• ask the writer to take the ideas produced and come back to a future meeting with a well-crafted statement that captures the most important ideas
• allow the group to read the statement and comment as a group—talking
over what works and what doesn’t; agree on a final draft (if necessary, have
the writer come back with another version)
• share the statement with several others outside the group to determine if
they understand what the group is about; if many do not, you may want to
fine tune your statement to make it say what you want it to say.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
23
Forever Families believes all children deserve a
permanent family. We are committed to improving the
way the child welfare system serves children and families and will advocate for necessary changes at the
local, provincial, and federal level.
• Why are we here?—to improve the way the child
welfare system serves children and families
• What do we believe?—all children deserve a
permanent family
• What do we do?—advocate for changes in
policies and practices at the local, provincial,
and federal level
change its mission statement often because that
would reflect a lack of direction.
PLANNING GROUP ACTIVITIES
IDENTIFYING PRIMARY ACTIVITIES
Before you begin to plan your groups’ primary
activities, display your mission statement for everyone to see along with the list of underlying needs
or issues identified earlier. At this stage, your group
will further narrow its focus by connecting priority
needs to possible activities that address each need.
Each idea or potential project your group takes on
should be measured against your mission statement.
To stay focused as a group, emerging ideas that
reflect your mission should be pursued, whereas
ideas (even good ones) that don’t reflect your
mission should be set aside. Most groups have more
ideas than they can realistically follow through
with, and your mission can help you choose which
projects to pursue. The exercise at the left will help
you develop a preliminary list of activities and then
determine which activities
are the most valuable—but
also realistic—for your
EXERCISE: CHOOSING ACTIVITIES
group. In this way, your
On the left-hand side of a flip chart, write the final (narrowed down) list
group can narrow down its
of needs or issues your group identified earlier. Ask participants to think
focus to a reasonable numabout possible activities that the group can undertake to address each
ber of activities.
need. Allow  to  minutes. Remind members that one activity might
Let’s walk through the exeraddress many needs. (See sample on page .)
cise using the Louisville
After people have had time to list their individual ideas, come together as
Family Support Group from
a group and list every suggested activity on the right side of the paper.
the previous page. The
Draw a line that connects each activity or strategy to the need or issue it
group’s mission statement is:
will address. This will help you see which activities meet multiple needs.
Louisville Family Support
Next, narrow down the possibilities to what feels right for your group. As a
Group believes strong
group, analyze which activities meet the most needs and seem realistic right
families are the foundation of
now. Discuss each possibility, answering several questions:
the community and is com• How important are the needs it is designed to meet?
mitted to strengthening fami• How many members will it help?
lies by providing a network of
• How much expertise, money, or time will it take to accomplish?
support to transracially
adopted children, their sibAs before, accept all ideas without criticism and then list and prioritize the
lings, and parents.
activities. Be sure to think about whether each strategy meets the needs you
identified earlier.
As stated in chapter , it is common for groups to
change over time, from offering support to offering
services, or from offering services to becoming an
advocacy group. In the future, if the same need or
idea is expressed often and by many group members, then it might be time to revisit the mission
statement and make changes to reflect that new
direction. Changes happen within groups, but
generally a group would not want to significantly
24
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
The chart at the right
shows how the group
brainstormed sample activities that met their underlying needs.
The chart at the bottom of
this page shows how the
group might continue the
exercise—listing all needs
and activities, and then
linking each activity to the
need it is designed to meet.
Underlying issues
or problems:
Possible activities to address the underlying issue are:
wants child to have
friends of color
have monthly children’s groups
organize whole family social activities
pair family with similar parents and kids (buddy program)
wants connections
with people from
the child’s culture
of origin
provide lists of culturally specific community
events; organize trips to activities hosted by
child’s community of origin
host multicultural festival, partnering with
community organizations
invite speakers/trainers from various cultures
Louisville Family Support
Group’s mission states that
needs help dealing
pair family with mentor from child’s race/culture
they will provide a network
with racism
host trainings (including one on combating racism)
of support to transracially
develop library (that includes materials on race, culture,
adopted children, their siband racism)
lings, and parents. When
have monthly meetings with other similar families
the group identified their
needs and matched them
remaining activities, the multicultural festival
with possible activities, they found the most efficient
addressed every need and was manageable for this
use of their time and efforts was to:
small group. The group wanted to pair families with
• provide monthly family meetings
mentors from each child’s culture, but realized it
• host an annual multicultural festival
needed to build relationships with community
groups before it took on this activity.
The monthly meetings addressed three needs and
was the easiest of the activities to accomplish. Of the
Needs/Issues
wants child to have friends of color
Activities (number of needs addressed)
have monthly children’s groups (1)
organize whole family social activities (3)
wants connections with people
from their child’s culture of origin
pair family with similar parents and kids/
buddy family (3)
pair family with mentor from child’s culture (3)
needs help dealing with racism
host training (2)
is looking for resources, ideas,
parenting strategies
feels isolated
develop library (2)
have monthly family meetings (3)
host multicultural festival, partnering with
community organizations (5)
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
25
DEVELOPING A WORK PLAN
TRACKING YOUR PROGRESS
After you agree upon your primary activities, you
will be able to devise a plan with specific action steps
and deadlines. Throughout your group’s life, you will
want to use this planning process to translate your
activities into manageable tasks.
The final stage of your planning process is deciding
how you know if your activities are addressing the
needs you identified. Think about questions you can
ask your members (or participants) to determine if
you are making the difference you wanted to make.
Both the meetings and the festival that the Louisville
Family Support Group wants to provide have their
own set of tasks, with a mixture of short- and longrange deadlines. Below is a list of duties that will help
the group make sure the meetings and the
festival happen.
You will want to collect information that:
• describes the benefits or services members receive
• rates the quality of those services
• allows members to offer suggestions
for improvement
• opens discussion of new ideas
This partial list demonstrates the many responsibilities that go along with helping the group achieve its
ultimate mission. Each task listed below includes
many steps to ensure success. For example, whoever
plans the entertainment for the festival will have to
find performers that the group can afford, and find
out what kind of staging and set up the performers
will need. If it is an outdoor event, the group will
need an alternative plan for rain.
Your group then needs to tabulate the results and
make sense of the collected information. The feedback you receive becomes part of your group’s ongoing planning work. If you see low participation, for
example, you need to re-check whether individual
needs have changed or your activities are not meeting
the needs as you expected.
Included on page  is a sample sheet to show how
groups can take an activity that fits their mission and
then assign tasks for group
members to achieve within
Group Meetings
an established time frame.
DIVIDING THE WORK
Once your group is
invested in its mission and
agrees on activities, take
time to ask each person to
commit to helping the
group succeed. Find out
the talents of your membership and rely on people
accordingly. Ask volunteers
to lead or co-lead committees, organize activities,
and recruit members to do
various tasks. Most importantly, share the duties to
keep the work fun and stay
energized.
26
• recruit transracial adoptive families
(ongoing)
• keep an updated membership list
with phone and address information
(ongoing)
• locate and secure meeting space
(‒ months before)
• find guest speakers (‒ months
before)
• plan activities/materials for meetings
(‒ months before)
• publicize the meetings ( month
before)
• assign someone to facilitate the
meeting ( month before)
• plan for child care and activities
( month to  week before)
• provide snacks (one day before)
Festival
• partner with individuals and organizations representing a variety of racial
and cultural communities (1 year
before)
• elect co-chairs (1 year before)
• solicit donated prizes (throughout
the year)
• plan publicity ( months before)
• invite community celebrity guest
(‒ months before)
• plan entertainment (‒ months
before)
• plan activities ( months before)
• plan food ( months to the
day before)
• set up booths (the day before)
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
You should collect data in
three areas:
. the number of services
you offer and the number of children, parents,
or families that use and
benefit from your
group’s services (See
sample forms on pages
, , and .)
. the quality of the services your group provides (Did participants
like the services? Would
they recommend them
to others?)
. the results of your
services (Did the services help a family obtain
needed resources? Did
the services help families avoid disruption?)
WAYS TO GATHER INFORMATION FOR GROUP EVALUATION
There are many ways to gather information and evaluate how effective your
group is at accomplishing its goals. Below are some of the easiest approaches
to incorporate into your plan:
• Asking the group what they think—Asking group members at the end of
each session if the meeting was useful for them or if they are better able to
handle their children’s special needs is a simple form of evaluation. Asking
if the time of the meeting is convenient or the facilitation was effective also
helps evaluate how your group operates.
• Surveying participants, particularly after trainings, special events, or
guest speakers, about the effectiveness of the event—Surveys are a simple,
quick way to find out if parents are learning what you hoped they would
learn from participating in the event. The evaluation form on page  will
take just a few minutes to complete but will provide data that will help you
evaluate the group’s process and effectiveness.
• Conducting individual interviews with a representative sample of participants—Through – to –minute conversations with a few group members once or twice a year, you can learn things you might not hear at a
group discussion. By selecting a few participants, you help ensure that
what you hear is not simply one person’s opinion. During interviews, you
can learn about individual results and group process outcomes by asking
group members if they have benefited from membership (reduced isolation, increased access to resources, found somewhere to turn in a crisis,
etc.) and if they think the group is headed in the right direction.
Not only do you want to
provide services that show
high attendance or use,
but you want to make
sure that families benefited from the services. A group that offers monthly
meetings and an annual multicultural festival, for
example, could collect data on the number of children and parents who attended each meeting and
the annual festival.
In addition, the group could seek information
about how the festival or meetings helped enhance
children’s racial or cultural identity. After the festival, leaders might ask older children to describe any
changes in their cultural understanding. Parents
might be asked to identify new tools they have to
combat discrimination on behalf of their children.
As a group, your job is to ask questions that determine if your activities are making the difference you
hoped to make.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
27
28
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
Person(s) Responsible
William Smith
Tanya Chang
Lana Jackson
Kim Lansing
Carolyn Stevens & Ron
Woodrow
Tasks
. Find a location for the
group meeting
. Publicize the first
meeting
. Arrange for refreshments
. Arrange for child care for
the meeting
. Plan content and facilitate the first meeting
September 
September 
September 
October 
September 
Begin Date
Activity: Hold first of the monthly support group meetings (scheduled for November )
November —planning
November —facilitating
November 
November 
October 
October 
End Date
Plan an icebreaker activity
and content for the meeting;
decide who will facilitate.
Hire or find adult volunteers
to provide child care.
Secure donated refreshments.
Design, post, and mail flyer
with pertinent meeting
information throughout
adoptive community.
Find a free, centrally located
comfortable meeting space
with child care area.
Outcome
Mission: Louisville Family Support Group believes strong families are the foundation of the community and is committed to strengthening families
by providing a network of support to transracially adopted children, their siblings, and parents.
GROUP TASKS (COMPLETED SAMPLE)
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
29
1st contact?
yes
no
1st contact?
yes
no
1st contact?
yes
no
Date of
Contact
Name/Contact Info
(address, phone, etc.)
Children (ages, special
needs, etc.):
foster parent
adoptive parent
prospective adopter
kinship care provider
other ____________
Children (ages, special
needs, etc.):
foster parent
adoptive parent
prospective adopter
kinship care provider
other ____________
Children (ages, special
needs, etc.):
foster parent
adoptive parent
prospective adopter
kinship care provider
other ____________
Family Characteristics
notes:
child’s behavior
wants info on adoption
process
wants info on special need:
________________
needs help with system
other:
________________
notes:
child’s behavior
wants info on adoption
process
wants info on special need:
________________
needs help with system
other:
________________
notes:
child’s behavior
wants info on adoption
process
wants info on special need:
________________
needs help with system
other:
________________
Reason for Contact
invited to group
referred to services:
________________
paired with buddy
gave written materials:
________________
other:
________________
invited to group
referred to services:
________________
paired with buddy
gave written materials:
________________
other:
________________
invited to group
referred to services:
________________
paired with buddy
gave written materials:
________________
other:
________________
Action Taken/
Service Provided
notes:
call back by (date):
________________
do research on:
________________
add to mailing list
other:
________________
notes:
call back by (date):
________________
do research on:
________________
add to mailing list
other:
________________
notes:
call back by (date):
________________
do research on:
________________
add to mailing list
other:
________________
Follow Up?
Use this form to track callers to your phone help line or other parents you help outside of group meeting time.
CONTACT TRACKING FORM
MEETINGS AND ACTIVITIES (COMPLETED SAMPLE)
Use this form to track attendees and major happenings at each group meeting or event. The data
can help you report to funders, determine future plans, and track your group’s participants.
MEETING/ACTIVITY
meeting
event (check one)
Date:
⁄⁄
Presenter (if any): Dr. Sylvia Manners
Meeting facilitator(s): Jane Green
Brief description (meeting, workshop, special event, topics covered, etc.):
special presentation on attachment disorder
Purpose: help parents who have adopted children with attachment problems
Key points of discussion: techniques for increasing attachment, strategies for handling challenging behavior,
print and online resources related to attachment
Decisions made (if any): offer workshop to other adoptive parents on this topic, develop resource library on
attachment
PARTICIPANTS
 total number of participants
_____

_____
new members/participants
Indicate the number of each type of attendees/participants (some participants may fit in several categories):
 adoptive parents
_____

_____
foster parents

_____
prospective adopters
_____ prospective foster parents
_____ adopted children
_____ adopted teens

_____
kinship care providers
_____ other children/teens

_____
adoption/foster care professionals
FOLLOW UP
Describe any follow-up tasks, people responsible, and deadlines:
Step
Person Responsible
Deadline
___________________________________________________
__________________
__________________
tabulate
evaluation forms
Tyrone
//
___________________________________________________
__________________
__________________
send
thank you to Dr. Manners w/ eval results
Tyrone
//
___________________________________________________
__________________
__________________
plan
workshop on attachment
Joanne,
Paul, Chris
//
___________________________________________________
__________________
__________________
develop
resource library on attachment issues
Wendy
//
30
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
MEETINGS AND ACTIVITIES
Use this form to track attendees and major happenings at each group meeting or event. The data
can help you report to funders, determine future plans, and track your group’s participants.
MEETING/ACTIVITY
meeting
event (check one)
Date:__________________________
Presenter (if any):
Meeting facilitator(s):
Brief description (meeting, workshop, special event, topics covered, etc.):
Purpose:
Key points of discussion:
Decisions made (if any):
PARTICIPANTS
_____ total number of participants
_____ new members/participants
Indicate the number of each type of attendees/participants (some participants may fit in several categories):
_____ adoptive parents
_____ foster parents
_____ prospective adopters
_____ prospective foster parents
_____ adopted children
_____ adopted teens
_____ kinship care providers
_____ other children/teens
_____ adoption/foster care professionals
FOLLOW UP
Describe any follow-up tasks, people responsible, and deadlines:
Step
Person Responsible
Deadline
___________________________________________________ __________________ __________________
___________________________________________________ __________________ __________________
___________________________________________________ __________________ __________________
___________________________________________________ __________________ __________________
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
31
TRAINING SURVEY
Name of training: _________________________________________________ Date:________________________
Instructions to trainees: We would like to know how you feel about the training. Your responses are very important to
us. Please rate the training by placing an X in the boxes that most accurately reflect your feelings, and then completing the statements below.
Poor
OK
Good
Very
Good
Presenter(s)’ knowledge of topics presented
Presenter(s)’ ability to communicate in a clear and
understandable fashion
Presenter(s)’ ability to respond to questions
Presenter(s)’ ability to involve the audience
Usefulness of training materials and handouts
Comfort of meeting room
Selection of topics presented
Quality of networking opportunities
The most useful information presented was
As a result of this training, I am better able to
What comments or suggestions for improvements do you have about this training?
What would you like to see covered at future trainings?
Other comments
I am (please check all that apply):
foster parent
adoptive parent
prospective adopter
kinship care provider
prospective foster parent
adoptee
child welfare professional
other _______________________
32
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
Exceptional
No
Opinion
chapter five
MANAGING GROUP MEETINGS
All leaders want to run successful, productive group
meetings. Yet there isn’t a leader who hasn’t wondered: What’s wrong with our meetings lately? How
can I move the discussion along? How can I help
quiet members speak up? How can we get back on
track? Successful meetings don’t just happen.
Meetings that are productive are usually led by
someone who has good facilitation skills.
Facilitation is the act of making something easier. In
the case of parent group meetings, facilitation is the
art of guiding the group’s discussions and protecting
the structure of the meetings to help the group be as
effective, efficient, and productive as possible. Wellfacilitated groups usually communicate better, maintain their vital energy, and achieve their goals.
There are three main elements to being a
good facilitator:
• understanding group process
• guiding discussion
• structuring the meeting
One or more members of the group may have skills
as a facilitator. It is important to use the experience
and talent of these members and have them model
the facilitation process to others in the group. As
members begin to better understand the role of the
facilitator, the responsibility can be rotated from one
member to another on a regular basis.
UNDERSTANDING GROUP PROCESS
HOW GROUPS MAKE DECISIONS
Many who have studied group decision-making have
found that group interaction is not linear. Crowell
and Scheidel, prominent scholars in the area of
group decision making, observed that as groups
begin to discuss an issue, the discussion usually spirals out and away from the original point, but eventually circles back to a specific comment or anchor
point that is related to the original point of discussion. The discussion usually continues to spiral out
and circle back. Over time, the discussion reveals
more anchor points, the flow of the discussion
moves along, and the group makes progress in their
collective thinking. In Small Group Decision Making,
Aubrey Fischer notes that decisions are not just made
but rather emerge from interaction among group
members. This suggests that the spiraling quality of
discussions is important because it allows various
key ideas to emerge as the group talks.
The facilitator allows the group’s discussion to flow,
but then helps keep the discussion focused. An effective facilitator judges when the spiraling is on point
and when members need to be reminded of the central topic. Good facilitators limit their talking time
and are not dominant speakers. Below are some
ways to envision the role of the facilitator.
GROUP MEMBERS’ ROLES
Group members take on roles during meetings that
can help the group work as collective decision-makers. In Discussion in Small Groups: A Guide to
Effective Practice, Potter and Anderson state that
even in newly formed groups, members either consciously or subconsciously negotiate for some combination of the following roles:
Task-oriented roles help the group complete
its tasks:
• goal setter: defines or proposes goals
• information seeker and information giver
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
33
• opinion seeker and opinion giver
• elaborator: clarifies ideas
• evaluator: measures group progress
against standards
• synthesizer: summarizes, suggests compromises
Group-oriented roles help to build group unity,
cohesion, morale, and dedication:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
encourager: praises, builds the status of others
mediator: harmonizes, focuses attention on issues
tension reliever: provides humor, clowns, jokes
follower: serves as audience for others
group observer: focuses on group process/progress
cathartic agent: gives expression to group feelings
reality tester: compares actual results to desired
outcomes/goals
Self-oriented roles focus on the individual rather
than the group and can be harmful to a group:
•
•
•
•
•
•
aggressor: builds own and minimizes others’ status
obstructor: blocks progress
recognition seeker: seeks personal attention
withdrawer: avoids meaningful participation
competitor: tries to outdo others
play person: avoids all serious activity
Identifying these roles, and noticing their presence or
absence, can help the facilitator understand why communication is or is not working well. It is also important to value each of the task- and group-oriented
roles listed above. A group that functions well will
probably have representation from each of the taskand group-oriented lists. At any given time any one of
them might be the role that leads the group to a solution. It is the interplay among the roles that is important to the group’s ability to function.
HUMAN DYNAMICS
A group takes on the characteristics of its individual
members to form its own unique identity. Any time
you facilitate a group, you should be aware of the
effects of human interaction. People bring their past
(good and bad), personality, and style to the group.
Outlined below are some human dynamics that can
both enhance and inhibit group interaction. This list
has been adapted from The Zen of Groups, by
Hunter, Bailey, and Taylor.
34
QUICK REMINDERS FOR THE FACILITATOR
• be positive
• set ground rules
• engage everyone in the first ‒ minutes
• have a beginning, middle, and end to each meeting
• be aware of yourself and others
• know that 10% of our communication is verbal
and 90% is nonverbal
• accept that conflict is normal; work through it
• remain committed to the group process
Individual uniqueness—Each member has his or
her own view of the world, which is expressed
through thoughts, actions, beliefs, and cultural identity. The uniqueness of each individual makes the
group rich but also often necessitates a deeper level
of discussion to reach decisions.
Baggage—Individuals also bring biases, hopes, fears,
and opinions based on their past, and this baggage
can cause people to react to other group members.
Baggage can also affect a person’s ability to be open
to others and be willing to see new possibilities.
Power—Always present, power is best when shared.
People can possess different kinds of power:
personal—based on personality or charisma;
assigned—given by others; positional—based on a
position of authority; knowledge—based on a specific expertise base; and factional—rising from a
smaller group within a group.
Feelings—Feelings are important; they should be
acknowledged. According to Hunter, Bailey, and
Taylor, group members “should learn to have feelings, rather than be had by them.”
Trust and identity—Trust and identity are established and developed over time as group members
share and work together. Groups that work in
healthy ways to deal with feelings, leadership, and
power will deepen their trust and develop a strong
group identity.
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
Group purpose—Strong groups that have established some structure and good methods of communication seem better able to stay focused on their
goals and maintain a clear purpose. Without a clear
purpose, groups tend to fizzle out.
Withholding—If you are in a group meeting and
something important comes to your mind, but you
don’t say it, you are withholding. People usually
withhold out of fear, but when they conquer that
fear and bring up the unspoken topic, it often
deepens the trust in the group.
A SUCCESSFUL PARENT GROUP FACILITATOR:
• upholds structure and order at meetings
• honors the group process above his/her own
personal needs or agenda
• values the contributions of all members as
equal participants
• helps to identify key points of discussion as
they emerge
• helps the group work through conflict
• is adaptable
Conflict—Although conflict is normal, it does need
attention and should be resolved. Conflict that is
pushed aside and never dealt with will come back to
haunt the group.
• seeks balance in discussions
• draws out quiet members and manages members
who tend to dominate the discussion
• redirects discussions that get off track
• asks the group to reassess its goals when the group
is not making progress toward its stated goals
GUIDING DISCUSSION
As a result of the mixed dynamics, agendas, and
interests involved in human interaction, facilitating
a discussion requires careful thought about who is
speaking how often and what topics the group most
needs to address. Two occupations demonstrate the
skills and artistry needed for facilitation:
Traffic cop—The facilitator intervenes during
discussion by:
• prohibiting conversational traffic jams—too many
people speaking at once
• giving the green light for one person to talk and
the red light for others to stop and listen
• redirecting conversation when roadblocks appear
Orchestra conductor—Just as a conductor builds on
the resources and talents of the individual orchestra
members, so does the facilitator by:
• soliciting expertise from individuals (solos) or a
cluster of members (trios, quartets)
• asking for more volume from quiet members and
less volume from dominant members
• leading the group to seek harmony and stay in
tune as they work collectively toward goals
• tracking the group rhythm and intervening to speed
things up, slow things down, or change the beat
• stopping and redirecting the group when members are playing their own song
• is self-aware and self-accepting
• sees all interactions as relevant to the group
process: what people say, what people do—
including body language and side comments—
and everything else that happens during
the meeting
MONITORING WHO SPEAKS
Facilitators are supposed to encourage the participation of all group members and keep the conversation vital. Sometimes they have to direct not only
who talks, but when that person talks. The following
suggestions have been adapted from Facilitator’s
Guide to Participatory Decision-Making, by Kaner,
Lind, Toldi, Fisk, and Berger.
Forming the line-up—At the beginning of the meeting, ask group members who have pressing issues
to raise their hands. Assign each person a number,
and call on them in order. This does not mean that
others cannot speak, but it is a way to make sure
the group gives time to those who have something
important to discuss with the group. It is also a
good way to keep one member from dominating
the meeting.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
35
TIPS FOR GROUPS THAT GET STUCK
Groups sometimes get locked or frozen in a topic or issue and seem unable
to move through it. Unresolved personality conflicts, issues of control and
power, and emotionally charged situations can cause groups to get stuck.
Parent groups with members who are experiencing trauma, such as an
allegation or a disruption, can sometimes get mired in those situations. It is
extremely painful for a family to live through an allegation or a disruption,
and sometimes the family’s pain engulfs the group for several meetings.
THREE STEPS TOWARD RESOLUTION
• Vent—Allow the individual(s) to take time to vent at the first meeting
after the initial crisis.
• Problem solve—Take time during the second meeting to work through the
issues involved. The group can offer solutions to the situation.
wishes to pursue. Below are
strategies for how to redirect
the group.
Sequencing—When the group
discusses several issues at the
same time, the facilitator identifies the various topics and
suggests an order in which to
discuss them. For example:
“You are talking about planning the cultural fair, selling
tickets, and publicity. Let’s plan
the event first, then discuss
publicity. If we have enough
time at the end of this meeting,
we’ll talk about selling tickets.”
• Seek outside help—By the third meeting, pull the individuals aside who
are unable to move through the crisis and suggest that they find some
outside assistance to help them manage the situation.
Tracking—Sometimes the facilitator needs to identify the different issues being discussed
and write them down for the
The group is there to help individuals, but also has a larger purpose and
group. Once the group sees
should be allowed to move forward toward its broader goals.
what the issues are, members
can prioritize them, look for
how they might relate to each
Encouraging—When you are often hearing from the
other, and either group them together or discuss one
same people, you can ask, “Is there someone else
issue at a time.
who has something to add?”
Balancing perspective—When you want more than
one side of an issue, you can ask the group, “Does
anyone have another way of looking at this?”
Making space—Learn how to recognize facial
expressions, body language, and other clues to help
you know when to help individuals who haven’t
spoken yet, but look like they have something
important to contribute. You can say, “Ron, you look
like you have a reaction to that comment. What
would you like to say?”
CHOOSING TOPICS
As groups become involved in discussion, the conversation can veer off in many different directions.
The facilitator then helps the group see how and
when it got off track and asks the group to make a
conscious decision regarding which direction it
36
Deliberate refocusing—Sometimes issues are discussed to death and the group needs to move on.
A facilitator can say, “We have spent 20 minutes
discussing family problems during the holidays.
At the beginning of the meeting we set aside time
to generate a list of ways the county could offer
better post-adoption services. Should we move on
to this topic?”
STRUCTURING THE MEETING
In addition to understanding the dynamics of
groups and guiding discussion, a facilitator must
provide structure to the group’s interaction. Every
meeting should have a definite beginning, middle,
and end. The group decides on the structure for its
meetings, and the facilitator upholds that structure.
Each meeting should have an agenda to follow. The
group needs to decide who sets the agenda. Is it the
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
president, a facilitator, the leadership circle, or the
whole group? If one person is in charge of the
agenda, can anyone add to it? What is the process for
adding an item to the agenda?
Before the meeting begins, establish how much time
individuals might need to discuss pressing issues.
Make a list of who wants to talk, for how long, and in
what order. Prioritize the time allotted to individuals
and topics so that the meetings are productive, serve
the members, and end on time.
Identify the facilitator at the beginning of each meeting. Designate a second person as the timekeeper,
and a third to take notes during the meeting. The
timekeeper monitors time spent discussing topics
and works with the facilitator to help stop lengthy
discussions and keep to the agenda.
The group focuses on business in the middle of the
meeting, such as discussing a current family issue
or a chosen topic, listening to an outside speaker,
planning an event, or completing a project.
As facilitator, you will want to convey the message
that the group is a safe place to talk about personal
concerns. One way to do this is to establish ground
rules for your meetings, such as:
• confidentiality—what is said in the group is not
discussed outside the group
• punctuality—group members arrive and leave on
time and agendas are followed
• willingness to learn—each member agrees to be
coachable and not to stay purposely stuck in
a problem
• respect—members will use words and actions that
convey mutual respect
BEGINNING
At the beginning of a meeting, group members
experience a phase of social unease and awkwardness
called primary tension. Often group members are
unsure of how they will be treated by others, and the
result is stilted and uncomfortable communication,
which can take the form of:
•
•
•
•
•
MIDDLE
extreme politeness
apparent boredom
sighing and yawning
soft and tentative speaking
long pauses
The group will not be able to do its work until it
breaks through this phase. Effective ways to break
through tension are introductions, icebreaker activities, social time, and food.
Actively engaging all group members in the first  to
 minutes of the meeting is important to breaking
primary tension. Icebreakers can be a creative way to
make introductions. For example, each member
could name a book that describes their week, or tell a
funny or touching anecdote about their kids. Many
icebreaker ideas are listed in books on facilitation and
on the Internet. Try new ideas for doing introductions; the energy of the group is stimulated when you
vary the way you begin each meeting.
• mandatory reporter guidelines—define these
guidelines and remind the group that some members may be mandated reporters. Any incident that
falls under the requirements for a mandated
reporter will need to be reported.
Ground rules allow all members to know what they
can expect from the group, which helps to build
trust. When the group writes ground rules, they
become invested in them. Ground rules should be
reviewed and displayed at each meeting, especially
when the group has new members.
END
Providing closure for your meetings helps establish
boundaries and keep the group’s purpose clear. One
idea for closing a meeting is to have members take
turns selecting a poem to read. You can create a ritual
with music, a drum beat, or gong to end the meeting.
A closing that includes an evaluation of the group
process for that meeting can also be helpful.
Whatever you choose be sure to officially end the
meeting. Members can still choose to stay after the
meeting and talk.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
37
chapter six
BECOMING A NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION
If your group decides to provide more extensive
services to your community, you will most likely
need to find more sources of revenue. A group that
incorporates and obtains tax-exempt status in the
United States—under section (c)() of the
Internal Revenue Code—can apply for grants from
foundations and accept tax-deductible donations
from individuals and organizations. (See information for how to become a nonprofit organization in
Canada on page .)
The benefits of incorporating and obtaining federal
tax-exempt status are:
• Donors to groups that have (c)() status can
claim tax deductions on their gifts, which
encourages them to make those contributions.
MAKING THE DECISION
There is no right or wrong answer to the question of
whether your group should become a nonprofit
organization; it depends solely on the group’s goals.
If your group wishes to keep it simple—remaining a
place where members talk out problems and help
each other with parenting concerns—you may not
need the benefits that nonprofit status offers. On the
other hand, if your group is ready and eager to offer
classes, set up a web site, publish a newsletter, or
host a conference, you will most likely want to
secure more revenue. Incorporating and obtaining
(c)() status will open doors for greater funding
to accomplish these goals.
• The organization can apply for foundation grants.
• The organization is often taken more seriously by
foundations, donors, and others.
• The organization can obtain nonprofit mailing
privileges.
• Depending on the state, there may be exemptions
from certain state taxes or sales taxes.
ARE YOU READY TO BECOME A NONPROFIT?
❏ We are ready to offer services that will require
initial fundraising.
❏ We are ready to do fundraising or apply
for grants.
• Incorporating decreases the liability of individual
members and officers.
❏ We have enough group structure to identify
officers and write bylaws and articles of
incorporation.
• Incorporated groups can purchase insurance for
members and officers.
❏ We have financial management procedures
in place.
❏ Someone in our group is willing to manage all of
the paperwork for the application process.
This chapter is meant to clarify the process for becoming a nonprofit tax-exempt
organization. The information included here is by no means intended as
legal advice. If you have any questions, contact a legal advisor.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
39
GETTING HELP
Groups should decide whether or not they want
to hire a lawyer to complete all the paperwork for
incorporation and (c)() status. Some groups
have a lawyer as a member who can help them, and
some groups find a lawyer who is willing to do the
work pro bono (for free). After looking at their limited budgets, many group leaders decide to prepare
the paperwork themselves. It can be done—many
leaders have successfully completed the process
without assistance from a lawyer.
If you choose not to seek legal help but want more
information, the following suggestions should help
get you started:
• Go to your local law library (located at the county
court house or in a law school) and ask the law
librarian to help you find the state statute that
governs the incorporation process.
• Call the general information number for your
state government to determine which agency
handles incorporation. In Minnesota, for example,
it is the Secretary of State. Clerks can tell you
where to get blank forms and possibly samples of
completed documents.
• If you have access to the Internet you can also go
to your state department’s web site to find information on incorporation and bylaws. You can also
get the federal guidelines at www.irs.gov and see
examples of finished documents. Similar information is available at www.nonprofitlaw.com and
from NACAC.
If you have questions during the process, don’t
hesitate to ask another group leader who has been
through the process or contact NACAC.
GETTING ORGANIZED
To get started, your group will need to gather and
create the following information:
• group name
• mission statement
• officers—president, vice president,
secretary, treasurer
• board of directors
40
THREE STEPS TO BECOMING A NONPROFIT
. Write, then file your group’s articles of incorporation to become incorporated in your state.
(Incorporating will formalize your group but will
not enable it to receive tax-deductible donations.
Donations won’t be tax-deductible until you
obtain (c)() status.)
. Write your group’s bylaws.
. Complete and file IRS Form  along with your
group’s articles of incorporation, bylaws, and the
filing fee. This step should be completed within 
months of becoming incorporated in your state.
• group goals: a plan of the activities or programs
your group wants to do and a written narrative
describing that plan
• financial information from the current year and
the three preceding years; if the group has only
been in existence for the past year—the current
year plus projected finances for the next two years
Taking time to clarify who you are as a group, what
your goals are, and how you want to accomplish
those goals will help prepare your group for the
paperwork required by your state and the Internal
Revenue Service (IRS). When your group completes
the six points listed above, you will have brought
together the information you need for the articles of
incorporation and bylaws, as well as information
you will later use to file for (c)() status.
NAME AND MISSION STATEMENT
You will need to name your group and create a mission statement if you haven’t done so already. If you
already have a name and mission statement, this is a
good time to revisit both to make sure they reflect
who you are and what you want to become.
Make sure your name reflects your mission—If you
chose a name like Park Avenue Parent Group in the
past, and now your group wants to serve the area
beyond Park Avenue, you need to think of a name
that has a broader scope and is not restricted
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
geographically. Maybe a
name like Midwest Adoptive
Parent Association is better
suited to your group. If you
started out as an adoption
group and call yourself
Adoptive Families United,
but now include foster
parents as members, you
should think about changing your name. If you have
any doubts about your
name, now is the time to
change it.
TAKING YOUR GROUP TO THE NEXT LEVEL
Several years ago, a parent group in Ohio had great group attendance and
families celebrated triumphs and helped each other work through problems.
At the same time, something was missing for this group. In addition to helping its members, this group wanted to do more for their community, and the
leaders realized any future services would take money.
The group incorporated, and then went through the process of obtaining nonprofit status. Since the group became a nonprofit organization, it has raised
enough money to offer a regional conference on the African American family,
host several adoption fairs, and provide workshops on transracial adoption
and other topics. It has earned statewide respect and the group’s leaders are
often asked by Ohio’s media and community to give their opinion on issues
about adoption and African American children. Having formal nonprofit status really changed this group’s services and position in the community.
After your group agrees on
its name you will need to
call the agency in charge of
incorporating to make sure
that no other organization
has the name you are considering. When you call,
the clerk will only let you investigate a few names at
a time, but you can have other group members call
if you need to check multiple names.
Make sure your mission reflects who you have
become. If you wrote a mission statement a few
years ago and your group’s services have changed or
some of your values have changed, you will want to
revisit your mission statement and change it to
reflect your group now. For example, if your focus
has shifted from serving parents to serving children
or entire families, you may want to include that in
your mission statement. Think this through carefully and make sure your mission statement does
not describe who you used to be, but rather represents who you are presently, and who you want to be
into the future.
ACTIVITIES AND SERVICES
Now is the time to generate a list of the group’s current goals: the programs, training, and services the
group now wants to provide. (See chapter  for
more information on the planning process.) Maybe
you want to write a newsletter or provide postadoption training and workshops in your area.
Think of the content of the workshops and the
audience you want to reach or how often you might
publish a newsletter and how many pages it will be.
Note that there are some restrictions on the activities that a nonprofit tax-exempt organization may
engage in, such as lobbying, as outlined by the IRS.
(See box on page .)
When you submit your application to the IRS, you
will be required to provide a narrative describing
the activities and the programs your group wants to
provide with a brief analysis of how those activities
fit the qualifications for tax-exemption. It is important to be as specific as possible.
OFFICERS
When you formalize your group, you will need to
list the officers who will carry out the duties necessary to run your organization on your application
form. Decide who will be the co-leaders or the president and vice president. You will also need someone
to do the duties of a secretary and a treasurer. A
president or vice president needs strong leadership
qualities, while a successful secretary has good organizational and communication skills. The ideal
treasurer is adept at setting up a system for recording financial transactions and tracking income and
expenditures.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
41
FINANCIAL INFORMATION
LOBBYING AS A NONPROFIT ACTIVITY
There are restrictions on the amount of time and money a nonprofit organization can spend on lobbying. According to the IRS, an organization seeking
(c)() status “may not attempt to influence legislation as a substantial
part of its activities and it may not participate at all in campaign activity
for or against political candidates.” Legally a nonprofit organization can
advocate for causes and educate the public without restriction. At the same
time, nonprofits can only be involved in a minimal amount of lobbying (to
influence the voting of legislators) and can only use a small percentage of the
group’s budget for lobbying. The law, however, is vague about exactly what
constitutes a small percentage.
If lobbying is one of your group’s goals and you want to avoid the vagueness
of the law, or spend more time and money on lobbying, you can elect to
come under the provisions of the  lobby law and file IRS form —
Election/Revocation of Election by an Eligible (c)() Organization to Make
Expenditures to Influence Legislation, at the same time the group files for
(c)() status. Your group will be subject to tax on your lobbying activities.
If you have further questions about lobbying, you can read about lobbying
issues for tax-exempt charitable organization at www.irs.gov or seek the
advice of a lawyer.
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Your group will need to select board members to
oversee the operation of your group when it
becomes a nonprofit organization. According to the
Minnesota Council of Nonprofits, it is “the board’s
responsibility to ensure the organization’s effectiveness, manage resources, and assess its own performance.” Determine the number of board members
you will need (you should have a minimum of ;
always use an odd number to prevent ties), the
election process, the number of board meetings per
year, the length of a term (the IRS says no more
than  years), and the number of terms allowed.
Officers are usually included as board members.
When you begin to generate names of other possible
board candidates, think of people from your community who have an interest in your mission, have
talents to offer, and would be willing to donate their
time. Clearly spell out to candidates the roles and
responsibilities of serving on the board when you
ask them to join.
42
You may hear the word budget
and think, “What budget? We
don’t have a budget.” Look back
over the past three years and
think of the activities your
group has done. Almost anything a group does costs some
amount of money, even providing treats or child care for a
meeting. Determine what your
expenditures were and where
the money came from to pay
those bills. Gather this financial
data and be ready to show your
receipts for expenses. If members currently pay the bulk of
your bills, this money is still
considered part of the group’s
income. Include donations
made by friends or family.
Membership dues are often
another source of income for
the group.
If your group has only been in existence for one
year, then identify expenditures for that year and
project financial information for the next two years.
See chapter  for more information on making
a budget.
WRITING ARTICLES OF INCORPORATION
When you have completed the above-mentioned
steps, you will be ready to write the articles of
incorporation and file them with your state. The
legal requirements and specific information that
should be included in the articles varies from state
to state. Fees can vary as well (about  to ).
The following information is usually found in
articles of incorporation:
• name of the organization
• purpose for becoming a nonprofit—the group’s
goals, programs, training, services, and the
demographics of who will be served
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
• name of the principal agent and others willing
to be incorporators—such as president, vice
president, secretary, or treasurer
• address, county, and state where the
president resides
• number of board members, including names
and addresses
• dated signature of the principal or registered agent
When drafting your articles of incorporation you
want to be sure to include the legal language that
meets both state and federal requirements if your
group is also going to apply for (c)() status.
Sample articles of incorporation appear on page .
WRITING BYLAWS
Bylaws serve as a formal set of rules that regulate the
affairs of an organization. When writing the bylaws
your group can incorporate its own information
into a template with the necessary legal language.
Bylaws are filed with the IRS as a part of the
(c)() application process and include:
• Membership: Describe the composition of
your membership.
• Meeting requirements: Include when and how
meetings occur, notice required for meetings,
process for calling special meetings, quorum,
or voting.
• Board of directors: Include how many members
are on the board of directors, the election process,
number of meetings per year, length of term,
number of terms allowed, vacancies, voting
procedures, officers, resignation, termination, and
standing committees.
• Fiscal management: State when the fiscal year
ends, name the officer or committee responsible
for fiscal management, and policies governing the
use of funds.
FILING FOR TAX-EXEMPT STATUS
This final step—completing the IRS forms for taxexempt status—is probably the most difficult part of
the process. There are many questions to answer in
the application form and it can seem overwhelming.
Keep in mind that the IRS will understand that, as
a new organization, some of what you write will
be your best guess, especially information related to
funding and budget.
To file for tax-exempt status you will need the
following items from the IRS:
• Publication —Tax-Exempt Status for Your
Organization explains rulings, regulations, and
how to apply for (c)() status. This booklet
helps you with application form .
• Form —Application for Recognition of
Exemption Under Section 501(c)(3) of the Internal
Revenue Code is the actual application form. The
form is  pages, but you will need to complete
only  pages.
• Form -C—Consent Fixing Period of Limitation
Upon Assessment of Tax Under Section 4940 of the
Internal Revenue Code. This form needs to be
filled out in duplicate, signed, and sent in with
Form . It allows the IRS to give new groups
five years to prove they will be publicly supported.
Two copies of this form are contained within the
 application booklet, immediately following
page .
• Form —User Fee for Exempt Organization
Determination Letter Request is a one-page form
that determines your filing fee and provides space
to attach your check. If your group’s annual gross
receipts are less than ,, your fee is , and
if these receipts are more than ,, your fee is
. This form should also be sent to the IRS
along with Forms  and -C.
• Amendments: List your group’s guidelines for
amending the bylaws.
Sample bylaws begin on page . Check with your
state to determine its specific rules related to bylaws.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
43
• Form SS-—Application for Employer
Identification Number can be filed as soon as
your group is incorporated. The Employee
Identification Number (EIN) is a nine-digit
number that the IRS assigns to your organization.
Information you provide on the form establishes
your business tax account. If you haven’t previously applied for the number, write “applying for”
in line  of Part I of Form , and the IRS will
assign your group a number and send you the
form. Do not apply for an EIN more than once.
Processing an EIN takes about  days. Banks
require this number before an organizational
account can be opened.
You can get Form , along with hints for
how to fill out each section of the application, at
www.nonprofitlaw.com, www.irs.gov, or
from NACAC.
The above forms should be filed within  months
of incorporation if you want the tax-exempt status
to apply back to the date of incorporation. (Double
check the exact number of months for your state
because this can vary.) The average processing time
for Form  is  days. Applicants who state in
their description of activities that they publish a
newsletter or brochures might be asked to send
examples. To avoid any processing delay, it would be
easier to include samples with your application.
BEFORE YOU SUBMIT YOUR
COMPLETED APPLICATION:
FUTURE STEPS
After you have sent in the federal forms and you
have your EIN, there are some additional things you
can do. Depending on your state, some may apply to
you and others may not.
• Find out if you can apply for a sales tax exemption
in your state (some states don’t offer this). Start by
calling your state’s Department of Revenue.
• Before you do any individual solicitation of funds,
check to see if you need to register as a charity in
your state (some states require it) and how it
might benefit your group. Check to see if there is a
“charities division” in your state Attorney
General’s Office or look for the state office that
oversees charities in your state. If you find you
need to register as a charity, you may have to pay a
registration fee and complete an application form.
• If your group will have paid employees, your
organization can file for workers’ compensation
insurance and unemployment insurance. Check
with the economic security or labor department
in your state for information on how to apply.
• You may also want to call the US Postal Service in
your state for information on how to apply for a
bulk mail permit.
• All (c)() organizations must annually file
Federal Form , Return of Organization Exempt
from Income Tax, with the IRS and the state
Attorney General’s Office five and a half months
after the end of the organization’s fiscal year.
❏ Use the checklist provided with the application to
make sure all required information is included.
❏ Make photocopies of the completed forms.
(The IRS will not return your originals.)
❏ Make sure you have attached the appropriate
fee to your application or it will be considered
incomplete and returned to you without
being processed.
❏ Attach your state-approved articles of incorporation and bylaws.
❏ Have your principal or registered agent sign page
one of Form .
44
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
NONPROFIT STATUS IN CANADA
INCORPORATION
Parent groups in Canada can incorporate at the
provincial or federal level. Although most groups
incorporate provincially, groups that serve all of
Canada incorporate federally. The advantages of
incorporating are:
• structure to guide internal decision-making
• ability to enter into contracts
• protection of individual members from liability
• potential access to more funding
• access to loans through use of corporation’s assets
• bylaws set guidelines to help keep membership
active and effective
Total fees for incorporating, whether you incorporate provincially or federally, usually do not exceed
.
CHARITABLE STATUS
Parent groups need to decide whether registering for
charitable status will be beneficial to them. The
benefits are:
• exemption from paying income tax
• the right to issue official donation receipts to
donors
• greater ability to obtain grants from private
foundations, the government, and others
To apply for charitable status under the Income Tax
Act, groups must register with Revenue Canada.
There are four categories the courts have defined as
charitable purposes:
• relief of poverty
• advancement of religion
• advancement of education
• of a charitable nature (similar to above categories
but beneficial to the community as a whole)
Advocacy groups in support of controversial issues
are not considered charitable by law.
An organization can apply to become a charity
whether it is incorporated or not. If the organization
is not incorporated, it must operate under the
guidelines of a constitution that explains its structure and purpose.
Some organizations are considered a charity under
provincial law, even if they are not registered with
Revenue Canada. These organizations are subject to
the provincial laws governing their activities, and
are entitled to certain legal and tax privileges. These
provincial laws also impose certain filing requirements and record-keeping obligations. Check to see
if your group would be considered a charity under
the laws of your province.
For information on how to incorporate provincially
(except for Nunavut) or federally, or how to register as
a charity go to: http://cap.ic.gc.ca/english/.htm. If
you do not have Internet access or want Nunavut
guidelines, contact the Adoption Council of Canada
at --ADOPT or NACAC for more information.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
45
SAMPLE ARTICLES OF INCORPORATION
Use the information below as a model, but be sure to check on your state’s requirements. If you have any doubts or questions,
contact a legal advisor. These materials have been adapted from materials produced by the Minnesota Council on Nonprofits
and www.nonprofitlaw.com. Items in capital letters indicate where you insert information specific to your group. (Please note
that these bylaws are designed for U.S. corporations. Canadian groups may need to use different language.)
ARTICLES OF INCORPORATION OF
NAME OF ORGANIZATION
This paragraph may vary
depending on your state.
Check for individual legal
requirements.
The undersigned incorporator(s) is (are) of legal age and adopt(s) the following
articles of incorporation to form a nonprofit corporation pursuant to the State
Nonstock Corporations Act.
ARTICLE 1 — NAME
The name of the corporation is NAME OF GROUP.
ARTICLE 2 — REGISTERED AGENT/ADDRESS
States vary on who may serve
as registered agent. The registered agent will receive all
correspondence from the state.
If your group doesn’t have a
location, list the address of
your registered agent. The
address must be a street
address, not a P.O. Box.
The first paragraph contains
language required by the IRS,
while the rest is about your
group’s particular mission
and purpose.
The registered agent is NAME, who is a resident of STATE and a director of the
corporation, and the principal office of the corporation is located at ADDRESS
OF GROUP.
ARTICLE 3 — PURPOSE
This corporation is organized and will be operated exclusively for charitable, religious, educational, and scientific purposes as specified in Section (c)() of the
Internal Revenue Code, including for such purposes, the making of distributions to
organizations that qualify as exempt organizations under Section (c)() of the
Internal Revenue Code, or the corresponding section of any future federal tax code.
Specifically, the purpose of the corporation is to:
• ITEMIZE THE MAJOR PURPOSES OF THE GROUP (SUCH AS SUPPORT
ADOPTIVE PARENTS AND ADOPTED CHILDREN, RECRUIT ADOPTIVE
PARENTS FOR CHILDREN IN FOSTER CARE, ETC.)
ARTICLE 4 — EXEMPTION REQUIREMENTS
At all times, the following conditions will restrict the operations and activities of
the corporation:
This language is required by
the IRS to obtain tax-exempt
status.
1. No part of the net earnings of the organization shall inure to the benefit of,
or be distributable to its members, trustees, officers, or other private persons,
except that the organization shall be authorized and empowered to pay reasonable compensation for services rendered and to make payments and distributions
in furtherance of the purpose set forth in Article .
2. No substantial part of the activities of the corporation shall constitute the
carrying on of propaganda or otherwise attempting to influence legislation, or
any initiative or referendum before the public, and the corporation shall not
participate in, or intervene in (including by publication or distribution of statements), any political campaign on behalf of, or in opposition to, any candidate
for public office.
46
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
Having voting members is
optional. If you do not want
voting members, simply state
that the corporation will not
have members.
3. Notwithstanding any other provisions of this document, the organization
shall not carry on any other activities not permitted to be carried on by an
organization exempt from federal income tax under Section (c)() of the
Internal Revenue Code or corresponding section of any future tax code.
ARTICLE 5 — MEMBERSHIP
This corporation will have members. The eligibility, rights, and obligations of the
members will be determined by the organization’s bylaws.
ARTICLE 6 — BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Check with your state about
the minimum number of
board members required by
law. Groups typically start
with a small board, and then
increase the number of
members at the first board or
annual meeting.
This statement can help
directors avoid personal liability if the organization is
run reasonably and legally.
Directors can be held liable
for debts to the IRS, debts
due to fraud, or employment
claims. Directors and officers
insurance further protect
board, staff, and volunteers.
The management of the affairs of the corporation shall be vested in a board of
directors, as defined by the corporation’s bylaws. No director shall have any right,
title, or interest in or to any property of the corporation.
The number of directors constituting the initial board of directions is NUMBER
OF INITIAL BOARD MEMBERS; their names and addresses are as follows:
LIST NAME AND ADDRESS OF EACH BOARD MEMBER
Members of the board of directors shall be those individuals elected, from time to
time, in accordance with the bylaws.
ARTICLE 7 — PERSONAL LIABILITY
No member, officer, or director of this corporation shall be personally liable for the
debts or obligations of this corporation of any nature whatsoever nor shall any of
the property of the members, officers, or directors be subject to the payment of the
debts or obligations of this corporation.
ARTICLE 8 — DURATION/DISSOLUTION
The duration of the corporate existence shall be perpetual until dissolution.
Upon dissolution of the organization, assets of the corporation shall be distributed
for one or more exempt purposes within the meaning of Section (c)() of the
Internal Revenue Code, or corresponding section of any future federal tax code, or
shall be distributed to the federal government, or to a state or local government, for
a public purpose.
ARTICLE 9 — INCORPORATORS
Check with your state on
the number of incorporators
required by law and the
minimum age of incorporators.
Incorporators can be anyone
willing to state that they want
the organization incorporated,
but often are members of the
initial board of directors.
In witness whereof, we the undersigned have hereunto subscribed our names for
the purpose of forming the corporation under the laws of NAME OF STATE, and
certify we executed these articles of incorporation this DATE.
_______________________________________________
Signature (NAME OF INCORPORATOR 1)
_______________________________________________
Signature (NAME OF INCORPORATOR 2)
_______________________________________________
Signature (NAME OF INCORPORATOR 3)
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
47
SAMPLE BYLAWS
Use the information below as a model, but be sure to check your state’s requirements and think about your group’s
wishes. If you have any questions, contact a legal advisor. These materials have been adapted from materials produced
by www.nonprofitlaw.com and the Minnesota Council on Nonprofits. Items in capital letters indicate where you insert
information specific to your group. (Please note that these bylaws are designed for U.S. corporations. Canadian groups
may need to use different language.)
BYLAWS OF YOUR GROUP
Your purpose statement here
may be more detailed than in
the articles of incorporation.
When amended, bylaws do not
need to filed, so they can be
amended more frequently.
You should decide whether or
not to have voting members. If
you have no voting members,
omit Article .
If you do choose to have voting
members, consider membership
eligibility (adoptive parents,
business owners, etc., who
support the organization’s purposes) and procedures. Before
you describe your quorum
(.), check to see if your state
sets forth any requirements.
ARTICLE 1 — NAME AND PURPOSE
Section .. Name. The name of the organization is YOUR GROUP.
Section .. Purpose. The Corporation is organized for the charitable and
educational purposes of YOUR PURPOSES.
ARTICLE 2 — MEMBERS
Section .. Eligibility. Application for voting membership shall be open to
MEMBERSHIP STANDARDS.
Section .. Qualifications. Membership may be granted to any individual or
corporation that supports the mission and purposes of the organization, and who
pays the annual dues as set by the board of directors.
Section .. Termination of Membership. The board of directors, by affirmative
vote of two-thirds of all of the members of the board, may suspend or expel a
member, and may, by a majority vote of those present at any regularly constituted
meeting, terminate the membership of any member who becomes ineligible for
membership, or suspend or expel any member who shall be in default in the
payment of dues.
If you choose to have different
levels of membership, add a
section like: Classes. There
shall be two classes of members:
individual/family or corporate.
Section .. Resignation. Any member may resign by filing a written resignation
with the secretary; however, such resignation shall not relieve the member so
resigning of the obligation to pay any dues or other charges theretofore accrued
and unpaid.
If you do not choose to have
members elect the board of
directors and officers, amend
section . and include
information about the board
electing its membership in
section . and ..
Section .. Meetings and Voting. The annual membership meeting shall be held in
MONTH each year. A minimum of  percent of the members present in person or
by proxy shall constitute a quorum for transaction of business at a membership
meeting. At the annual meeting, the members shall elect directors and officers,
receive reports on the group’s activities, and plan activities for the following year.
It is reasonable to require  or
 percent of members to call a
special meeting.
Section .. Dues. Dues for members shall be established by the board of directors.
Special meetings may be called by the president or at the written request of at least
NUMBER percent of the members. Notice of meetings shall be given to each voting
member, by mail, e-mail, telephone, or other delivery method, not less than two
weeks before the meeting.
All issues to be voted on shall be decided by a simple majority of those present at
the meeting during which the vote takes place.
Section .. Non-Voting Membership. The board shall have the authority to
establish and define non-voting categories of membership.
48
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
ARTICLE 3 — BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Section .. Authority of Directors. The board of directors is the policy-making
body and may exercise all the powers and authority granted to the corporation
by law. The board delegates responsibility for day-to-day operations to the staff
and committees.
Specify the number of board
members you will have and the
length of their terms. Some
states require a certain number
of members or limit members’
terms, so check local laws.
If you have chosen to have
the board select other board
members, modify this section.
Section .. Number and Tenure. The board shall consist of not less than NUMBER
directors. Each director shall hold office for a term of NUMBER years, but is
eligible for re-election for up to NUMBER terms.
Section .. Vacancies. New directors and current directors shall be elected or reelected by the voting representatives of members at the annual meeting. Directors
will be elected by a simple majority of members present at the annual meeting.
Vacancies existing by reason of resignation, death, incapacity, or removal before the
expiration of a member’s term shall be filled by a majority vote of the remaining
directors. In the event of a tie vote, the president shall choose the succeeding
director. A director elected to fill a vacancy shall be elected for the unexpired term
of that director’s predecessor in office.
Consider including an absentee
policy such as this one so that
directors are aware of their
need to commit to your parent
group’s effective operations.
Section .. Resignation/Termination. Resignations are effective upon the secretary’s
receipt of written notification. A board member shall be terminated from the board
due to excess absences (more than NUMBER of unexcused absences from board
meetings in a year). A board member may be removed for other reasons by a SOME
HIGH PERCENTAGE vote of the remaining directors.
Most states require at least one
meeting per year. You can
decide how many members
(such as  percent or onethird) must be in agreement in
order to call a special meeting.
Section .. Meetings. The board of directors shall hold at least NUMBER regular
meetings per calendar year. Meetings shall be at such dates, times, and places as the
board shall determine. Special meetings may be called by the president, or by vote
of SOME PERCENTAGE of the board members.
Some states set minimum
notice laws.
Check to see if your state has
any rules about what constitutes a quorum, and then
decide if you would like to set
the standard even higher. It is
reasonable to require that half
of the board be present for
action to take place.
In many states, action without
a meeting—such as vote by
board ballot—must be unanimous. Check local laws.
Section .. Notice. Meetings may be called by the president or at the request of any
two directors by notice e-mailed, mailed, telephoned, or otherwise delivered to each
member of the board not less than  days before such meeting.
Section .. Quorum. A quorum shall consist of a majority of the board attending
in person or through teleconferencing. All decisions will be by majority vote of
those present at a meeting at which a quorum is present. If less than a majority of
the directors is present at said meeting, a majority of the directors present may
adjourn the meeting on occasion without further notice.
Section .. Action without a Meeting. Any action required or permitted to be
taken at a meeting of the board of directors (including amendment of these
bylaws), or of any committee may be taken without a meeting if all the members of
the board or committee consent in writing to taking the action without a meeting
and to approving the specific action. Such consents shall have the same force and
effect as a unanimous vote of the board or of the committee as the case may be.
Section .. Participation in Meeting by Telephone. Members of the board may
participate in a meeting through use of conference telephone or similar communications equipment, so long as members participating in such a meeting can hear
one another.
Section .. Reimbursement. Directors shall serve without compensation with the
exception that expenses incurred in the furtherance of the corporation’s business
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
49
are allowed to be reimbursed with documentation and prior approval. In addition,
directors serving the organization in any other capacity, such as staff, are allowed to
receive compensation in that capacity.
Section .. Conflict of Interest. The board shall not enter into any contract or
transaction with: () one or more of its directors, or () an organization in which a
director is an officer, or legal representative, or in some other way has a material
financial or professional interest unless:
• that interest is disclosed or known to the board of directors;
• the board approves, authorizes, or ratifies the action in good faith; and
• the approval is by a majority of directors (not counting the interested director) at
a meeting where a quorum is present (not counting the interested director).
The interested director may be present for discussion to answer questions, but may
not advocate for the action to be taken, and must leave the room during deliberations and voting. The minutes of all actions taken on such matters shall clearly
reflect that these requirements have been met.
Section .. Paid Staff. The board of directors may hire such paid staff as they
deem proper and necessary for the operations of the corporation. The powers
and duties of the paid staff shall be as assigned or as delegated to be assigned by
the board.
ARTICLE 4 — COMMITTEES
At a minimum, you should
have an executive committee
(of the officers) and a finance
committee. If your board will
be selecting future board members, you should also have a
board nominating committee.
Article .. Committee Formation. The board of directors may, by a resolution
adopted by a majority of the directors in office, establish committees of the board
composed of at least NUMBER persons which, except for an executive committee,
may include non-board members. The board may make such provisions for
appointment of the chair of such committees, establish such procedures to govern
their activities, and delegate to them the authority necessary or desirable for the
efficient management of the property, business, and activities of the corporation.
Article .. Executive Committee. The four officers serve as members of the executive committee. Except for the power to amend the articles of incorporation and
bylaws, the executive committee shall have all the powers and authority of the
board of directors in the intervals between meetings of the board of directors, and
is subject to the direction and control of the full board.
Detailed financial procedures
are spelled out in Article  on
page .
Your group can decide on the
number and type of officers,
but check with your state law
first. Many require at least a
president and a secretary/
treasurer. In their early days,
some groups combine the
functions of secretary and
treasurer.
50
Article .. Finance Committee. The treasurer is the chair of the finance committee,
which includes NUMBER other board members. The finance committee is responsible for developing and reviewing fiscal procedures, fundraising plans, and the
annual budget with staff and other board members.
ARTICLE 5 — OFFICERS
Section .. Officers. The officers of the corporation shall be:
President—The president shall be a director of the corporation and will preside
at all meetings of the board of directors. The president shall perform all duties
attendant to that office, subject to the control of the board of directors, and
shall perform such other duties as on occasion shall be assigned by the board
of directors.
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
Vice President—The vice president shall be a director of the corporation and
will preside at meetings of the board of directors in the absence of or request
of the president. The vice president shall perform other duties as requested and
assigned by the president, subject to the control of the board of directors.
Secretary—The secretary shall be a director of the corporation and shall keep
the minutes of all meetings of the Board of Directors in the books proper for
that purpose.
Treasurer—The treasurer shall report to the board of directors at each regular
meeting on the status of the corporation’s finances. The treasurer shall work
closely with the finance committee and any paid executive staff of the corporation to ascertain that appropriate procedures are being followed in the financial
affairs of the corporation, and shall perform such other duties as occasionally
may be assigned by the board of directors.
Some states have legal limits
on the length of officers’ terms.
Section .. Appointment of Officers; Terms of Office. The officers of the corporation shall be elected by the board of directors at regular meetings of the board, or,
in the case of vacancies, as soon thereafter as convenient. New offices may be created
and filled at any meeting of the board of directors by a majority vote.
Terms of office may be established by the board of directors, but shall not exceed
NUMBER years. Officers shall hold office until a successor is duly elected and
qualified. Officers shall be eligible for reappointment.
Section .. Resignation. Resignations are effective upon the secretary’s receipt of
written notification.
Section .. Removal. An officer may be removed by the board of directors at a
meeting, or by action in writing pursuant to Section ., whenever in the board’s
judgment the best interests of the corporation will be served by the removal. Any
such removal shall be without prejudice to the contract rights, if any, of the person
so removed.
ARTICLE 6 — INDEMNIFICATION
Many states allow nonprofit
organizations to indemnify
their board and staff members
in the event they are sued
over their work for the organization. You may want to
seek legal advice about this
provision and its effects on
the organization.
Every member of the board of directors, officer, or employee of the corporation
may be indemnified by the corporation against all expenses and liabilities, including
counsel fees, reasonably incurred or imposed upon such members of the board,
officer, or employee in connection with any threatened, pending, or completed
action, suit, or proceeding to which she/he may become involved by reason of
her/his being or having been a member of the board, officer, or employee of the
corporation, or any settlement thereof, unless adjudged therein to be liable for
negligence or misconduct in the performance of her/his duties. It is provided, however, that in the event of a settlement, the indemnification herein shall apply only
when the board approves such settlement and reimbursement as being in the best
interest of the corporation. The foregoing right of indemnification shall be in addition to and not exclusive of all other rights to which such member of the board,
officer, or employee is entitled.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
51
ARTICLE 7 — FINANCIAL ADMINISTRATION
Your bylaws should include
information about your financial procedures. Procedures
may change over time as your
group grows and has added
financial responsibilities.
Financial procedures should
be designed to protect the
organization—for example,
requiring two signatures on
larger checks, or having one
person write checks and
another balance the books.
Nonprofits may hold investments and may accumulate
a surplus. Some groups hold
a year’s operating expenses
in investments.
State laws often require that
certain records be kept at a
nonprofit’s headquarters, or
that certain records be made
available to the public. Federal
law requires nonprofits to
make available to the public
their IRS Form  and their
recent IRS Form s.
Bylaws are changed regularly
to keep up with changes in the
corporation’s operation—
changes in fiscal year, number/
term of board members, etc.
Section .. Fiscal Year. The fiscal year of the corporation shall be January –
December  but may be changed by resolution of the board of directors.
Section .. Checks, Etc. All checks, orders for the payment of money, bills of
lading, warehouse receipts, obligations, bills of exchange, and insurance certificates
shall be signed or endorsed by such officer or officers or agent or agents of the
corporation and in such manner as shall from time to time be determined by
resolution of the board of directors or of any committee to which such authority
has been delegated by the board.
Section .. Deposits and Accounts. All funds of the corporation, not otherwise
employed, shall be deposited from time to time in general or special accounts in
such banks, trust companies, or other depositories as the board of directors or any
committee to which such authority has been delegated by the board may select, or
as may be selected by the president or by any other officer or officers or agent or
agents of the corporation, to whom such power may from time to time be delegated
by the board. For the purpose of deposit and for the purpose of collection for that
account of the corporation, checks, drafts, and other orders of the corporation may
be endorsed, assigned, and delivered on behalf of the corporation by any officer or
agent of the corporation.
Section .. Investments. The funds of the corporation may be retained in whole or
part in cash or be invested and reinvested on occasion in such property—real, personal, or otherwise—or stock, bonds, or other securities, as the board of directors
in its sole discretion may deem desirable and which are permitted to organizations
exempt from federal income taxation under Section (c)() of the Internal
Revenue Code.
ARTICLE 8 — BOOKS AND RECORDS
Correct books of account of the activities and transactions of the corporation shall
be kept at the office of the corporation. These shall include a minute book, which
shall contain a copy of the certificate of incorporation, a copy of these bylaws, and
all minutes of meetings of the board of directors.
ARTICLE 9 — AMENDMENT OF BYLAWS
These bylaws may be amended by a majority vote of the board of directors, provided prior notice is given of the proposed amendment in the notice of the meeting at which such action is taken, or provided all members of the board waive
such notice, or by unanimous consent in writing without a meeting pursuant to
Section ..
Some groups that start having
voting members select the
board grow large enough to
make this unwieldy, and
change their bylaws so that the
board elects its successors.
These bylaws were approved (or amended) at a meeting of the board of directors
on DATE.
52
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
chapter seven
FINANCIAL PLANNING AND FUNDRAISING
A challenge common to most parent groups is that of
finding and keeping a secure funding base. Parent
groups that want to provide services and programs to
their members and the broader community need
money, and therefore need a financial strategy. Taking
the time to develop a financial plan is imperative for
any group. The financial plan, however, should always
grow from the program planning you do. Think
about your financial needs and goals in terms of what
you want to do with the money you seek.
DEVELOPING A BUDGET
The first step toward sound financial planning is to
make a budget. Even if your group operates on a
small scale, you have an operational budget and you
should know your financial status and begin to keep
records of those finances. Even if your group wants
to remain small, it is a good idea to determine:
•
•
•
•
•
what your income is
what your operating expenses are
that you are aware of all the money you have
that you are not spending more than you have
that you can account for all the money
In larger groups, financial planning is more complex. Some groups may have a general overall
budget, and program budgets for their annual cultural fair and for a series of workshops. Each program category may have its own budget of income
and expenses. It is also possible for budgets to overlap, such as when income from the workshops pays
the expenses for the cultural fair. You want to make
sure you have enough income to at least cover your
expenses and maybe even provide a reserve for
future needs.
Start by making a budget that reflects your current
situation. Then develop a budget that reflects the
program goals your group has identified. Think
about your group, its programs, activities, and
future plans. Make a list of current sources of
income for your group (including non-cash income
such as donated goods and services) and indicate
where the income comes from, the amount, and
what it funds. Next, make a list of your expenses. If
you have a number of services or programs, develop
a budget for each one, and then combine them for
your group’s overall financial plan. Located on page
 are two sample budgets—one for the whole
group, another for one program.
KEEPING ACCURATE FINANCIAL RECORDS
As part of your financial plan, your group will need
to keep accurate financial records. Consider asking
a member of your group—preferably someone
who has a background in accounting or has general
business skills—to volunteer as the bookkeeper
or treasurer. Be sure to include the list of products
and services provided to your group at no cost,
along with other income and expenses. If your
group decides to apply for nonprofit status or is ever
audited, you will be glad that you have kept accurate
records of your financial information. Various financial planning books and software programs can help
you organize your financial information and make
recordkeeping easier to manage.
IDENTIFYING FUNDING SOURCES
After you have identified your program goals and a
corresponding budget, you need to identify where
the income will come from. Some sources will
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
53
SAMPLE BUDGETS
ANNUAL GROUP BUDGET
Expenses
Staff Salary (half-time group coordinator)
Benefits (% of salary)
Equipment (computer, printer)
Phone/E-mail/Web Hosting
Supplies (paper, furniture, treats, etc.)
Duplicating (copying, newsletter printing)
Meeting Space
Speakers Fees
Total
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
Income
Membership Dues
Donated Goods/Supplies (printing, meeting space)
Foundation Grants
Corporate Donations
Individual Donations
Workshop Fees
Special Events (bake sale, garage sale)
Total
Net
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
ONE-DAY CONFERENCE BUDGET
Expenses
Total
,
,


,
,
Total
Net
,
,
,
,

,

Staff Time
Facility
Speakers Fees
Handouts
Food/Breaks
Income
Registration Fees ( @ )
Donated Space
Corporate Donation
Foundation Grant
Sale of T-Shirts
54
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
already exist, but others will
require fundraising. A good
fundraising program—for a
newly formed group or an
established group—needs to
include diverse sources of possible income for your group.
Below is a list of specific ways
to raise support for your group:
•
•
•
•
•
•
donated services and goods
special events
membership dues
individual donations
foundation/corporate support
contract for services
The most common funding
strategies are dues, donations,
donated services and goods,
and smaller special events.
Applying for foundation and
corporate grants is only possible for groups with tax-exempt
status, because most grantmaking organizations require
applicants to have tax-exempt
status. A newly formed group
might even decide to apply for
tax-exempt status as part of its
fundraising plan. See chapter 
for more information.
DONATED SERVICES AND
GOODS
Parent groups often take advantage of situations where members or outside supporters
volunteer time or offer free
services, skills, or products.
Below are a few suggestions for
ways to save your dollars:
• Whenever possible, ask people to donate their time or
services to your organization.
One of your members (or a
spouse, partner, or relative)
EXERCISE: PREPARING TO RAISE FUNDS
During your financial planning process, your group (and any interested
members) should take the time to discuss answers to the following questions.
• What types of volunteer and donated resources are available to your
group?
• Will your organization charge membership dues? If so, what will your
rates be?
• Name three funding ideas that your organization has the ability to pull
off this year. When is the best time to undertake each activity?
supplies. For example, if your
group received donated space
worth , you would record
the  as both expense and
income (donated goods and
services). Accurate recordkeeping of this type of in-kind
donation will best reflect your
actual operational budget and
can help if and when you apply
for nonprofit status and grants.
• List three organizations in your community that you can go to for
assistance. Do you have any contacts within these organizations who
could help?
The sample letter on page 
may help you compose a letter
to request goods and services.
• If you have not incorporated or obtained tax-exempt status, is this a
good time to begin the process?
SMALL FUNDRAISERS
who is an accountant can help with the books, a
lawyer can help incorporate your group, or a
writer can produce your group’s newsletter.
• Teens often enjoy helping out by folding,
stapling, addressing, mailing, babysitting, or
delivering flyers.
• Members may ask at work to use the office copy
machine for free or at a discounted rate. Some
local businesses may be willing to donate the use
of their copy machine if your group provides the
paper, and still others are willing to provide office
supplies at discounted rates.
• You can often have free event announcements
placed in company, neighborhood, church,
mosque, or synagogue newsletters.
• Many newspapers have a community section
where groups can ask for donations such as
computers, printers, and copiers.
• Merchants are often willing to donate goods and
services to local charitable groups. For instance, if
you are trying to organize a community event,
contact your local grocery store. Ask if they can
provide the food or donate gift certificates to raffle
off or give as prizes.
Your group’s financial records should include a dollar amount for the value of all donated services and
Fundraisers that typically produce a moderate return include
arts and craft shows, bake sales, dances, children’s
fashion shows, barbecues, picnics, and garage sales.
Some groups ask local merchants for products that
can be raffled at their fundraiser event. Others have a
once-a-year raffle with a large prize such as a television or a weekend vacation. Check your local rules on
charity raffles and auctions before you proceed.
SPECIAL EVENTS
Another way for your group to raise money is to
hold large special events. Possible fundraisers
include concerts, benefit dinners, magic shows,
dances, and theater evenings. At such events, your
group could also coordinate the sale of promotional
pins, posters, cards, T-shirts, decals, or bumper
stickers to raise money and advertise your group’s
mission. Silent auctions can enhance the fundraiser.
Although these events are time-consuming, especially for smaller groups, they can be a good way to
bring the group together and draw in others from
the community. It is a good idea to select a team to
coordinate any big event so that the workload is
spread out among several people. If there are individuals within the group’s membership who possess
skills you need, call on them to contribute their
expertise at reduced fees or no charge.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
55
SIMPLE FUNDRAISING IDEAS
Parent groups can successfully take on any number of smaller, creative
activities that raise funds as well as community awareness about adoption
and foster care. Your group might:
• ask group members to host a traveling garage sale—unsold items from one
week are moved to another member’s garage for a future sale
• volunteer at concession stands during professional sporting events and
earn a percentage (usually about  percent) of the total sales
• partner with related organizations to sponsor a booth at a large
community festival
• staff a hot dog stand in the parking lot of a local grocery store—the store
provides the supplies, the group provides the staff, and proceeds are split
On the other hand, you might think outside the box and host a non-event
fundraiser. A Colorado adoption group recently held a non-event, sending
out flyers to community members in the region that asked for a donation
and promised no raffle tickets, no auctions, and no annual dinner. The
flyer highlighted the fact that skipping the event reduced costs and ensured
that all donations went directly to finding families for children who have
special needs.
Another idea is to send donation request letters to individuals. These letters should include
a brief history of your group,
the mission, accomplishments,
program goals, and needs. The
letter should paint a compelling
picture—with a family story if
possible—of what you do to
help vulnerable children and
their families. Send the letter to
your entire mailing list—
including local therapists,
school counselors, pediatricians, agencies, social workers,
religious organizations, and
your members. Even if they
don’t donate, you have made
them aware of what your group
is doing, and maybe they will
give next time.
MEMBERSHIP DUES
INDIVIDUAL DONATIONS
Sometimes asking for cash donations is the simplest,
most efficient way to raise money. The greatest
reward is when your group is handed a check without having to organize and sponsor a big event.
Research local businesses and organizations in your
area and find out which groups are interested in
adoption or children with special needs. Compose a
letter to invite them to donate to your general support or for a particular activity such as a workshop.
Your local Lions, VFW, Elks, Kiwanis, Knights of
Columbus, and other service clubs are good contacts, as are local community leaders who have been
touched by adoption. If there is a college or university in your area, include sororities and fraternities
in your list of contacts. Some service organizations
will help with fundraising events while others will
contribute cash. Do your homework on what these
organizations are interested in and know what you
want to ask for before you contact them.
56
Collecting membership dues is
an excellent way to increase your income and build
commitment among members. When deciding what
amount to charge, it is wise to allow group members
to have a voice in the decision, since people tend to
support what they have helped create.
Generally:
• Dues should start out as a flat rate for all members.
• Dues should be sufficient to cover at least some of
the ongoing operational expenses.
• Don’t allow dues to keep anyone who cannot
afford them from being a member.
Think creatively about membership with your
group. In addition to including adoptive and
potential adoptive parents, consider ways to attract
outside community groups or organizations at various levels of commitment. Larger groups sometimes
create different membership rate categories. The
graduated membership rates can include varying
products or privileges. Your group could build an
incentive for membership by offering such things
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
as a specific number of
newsletters, reduced rates
for special events or classes,
or other benefits.
FOUNDATION,
CORPORATE, AND
GOVERNMENT
SUPPORT
Your group may also
choose to apply for grants
from foundations or corporations, or seek grants
or contracts from local,
state/provincial, or federal
agencies. Remember that
tax-exempt groups will be
best able to obtain funds
from grantmakers.
Identifying Potential
Funders
When you research potential funders, note each funder’s geographical area,
funding restrictions, and
program priority areas.
PROPOSAL OUTLINE
If you don’t have detailed proposal guidelines to follow, consider using the
following outline:
• Introduction—Very briefly explain your organization’s mission, the basic
nature of the program, and the outcomes you hope to accomplish.
• Need/Statement of Problem—Explain the community’s needs, related statistics, personal stories, and other details that present a compelling picture
of why your program is necessary.
• Purpose/Objectives—This section should include a description of the organization’s goals, and how it relates to the impact the project will have.
Include specific, measurable outcomes ( families will have support, 
children will find permanent families, etc.).
• Approach/Work Plan—This portion of the proposal should identify the
services to be offered—how, when, and to whom—and why these services
will achieve the outcomes described above.
• Evaluation—Include activities such as surveys, interviews, or focus groups
that can help you make ongoing changes in the program while you operate
it, and other activities to determine overall results of your work.
• Qualification/Organization Experience—This section allows you to
describe your group and its ability to offer this program, as well as identify
any staff who will work on the project.
• Budget—This section should include a detailed line-item budget (salaries,
supplies, travel, equipment, printing etc.—see sample on page ), a
budget narrative, information about other current and potential sources of
funding, and how you will continue the program into the future.
• Identify past grants by
reading grant guidelines, annual reports, or tax
forms such as IRS Form
-PF.
• Look for information that tells you what types of
groups are eligible for funding, how and when to
apply, and how funding decisions are made.
• Identify the type of programs the organization
funds. Some grantmakers provide general
operating support, others fund programs but
not salaries, and others will fund only specific
program areas.
• Check your local library for a guide to writing
grant proposals and for an index of grantmakers.
Develop a list of only those organizations that
support projects similar to yours. One good
resource is the Foundation Center, which offers
library collections with books and other materials
that list private foundations and corporate giving
programs. Contact the Foundation Center at
www.fdncenter.org or -- for more
information about proposal writing or the 
Foundation Center library collections around the
United States.
• Federal funds are sometimes available to adoptive
parent groups for specific projects. Newsletters
and web sites of national adoption organizations
might provide information regarding this kind
of opportunity.
• Your local United Way may also be a source of
funds. Check its policy on adoptive parent groups.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
57
Proposal Writing
To receive grants from foundations and many corporations, you will often have to
write a grant proposal.
Below is a list of helpful
hints to get you started:
• Request the funder’s
application guidelines. If
possible, get the name of
the contact person who
handles your specific
funding area.
• Follow the guidelines carefully—funders often want
a short letter before they
accept a full proposal.
• Ask if anyone in your
group has written a grant
proposal before or knows
someone who has. These
individuals may be able
to provide your group
with valuable advice or
might even be willing to
write the proposal.
SAMPLE LETTER TO REQUEST DONATED GOODS OR SERVICES
[date]
Dear [contact name]:
Michael turned 13 this fall. He and his sisters, Rosalyn and Alisha, have been
waiting for a family to adopt them for more than a year. Each day in foster
care they wonder if and when they will find a permanent mom or dad.
Nationally, [United States/Canadian figure] foster children will never return
to their birth parents, yet many wait years for the security of an adoptive
family. This year [organization/ group name] is making a special effort to see
that children like Michael find permanent homes. We need your help.
During November—National Adoption Awareness Month—we are sponsoring [name or description of event] to increase awareness about adoption and
recruit families to adopt children who need homes. To accomplish our goals
of building adoptive families, we need [items such as paper or art supplies,
brochure/ poster design, printing, or mailing services]. By donating these items,
you can play an important role in building a new family and changing a
child’s life. All donations are tax deductible.*
[Your group name] is a nonprofit organization composed of adoptive, fosteradoptive, and foster families, adopted persons, birth parents, adoption professionals, and other adoption advocates. We provide support to the adoption
community, offer adoption education and advocacy services to the public,
and [personalized description of your services or mission].
Thank you for taking the time to review the enclosed information. [name]
• Write the proposal exactly
will contact you within a week to discuss the project in more detail. If you
the way the contact person
have any questions in the meantime, please contact [name] at [phone number
or the guidelines state that
and e-mail address].
it should be done. Some
funders will send you a
Sincerely,
clear outline of things to
[name
include, but others will
title]
not. There are foundations
that simply require
*Note: Businesses can only deduct contributions
grantees to submit a basic
made to registered nonprofit organizations.
letter detailing the request.
Other foundations and
many government agen• Other things to keep in mind: never assume funcies require a formal application along with a
ders know anything about child welfare or adopdetailed proposal.
tion, keep your language simple, proofread your
• Pay attention to the foundation’s deadlines. Some
writing, and have someone outside of your group
may be very specific, while others may make fundread your proposal and give feedback.
ing decisions on an ongoing basis.
58
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
chapter eight
REJUVENATING YOUR GROUP
A group is a living organism with a life of its own.
Groups can become sick and die. They can heal and
be renewed. They can even grow and mature to
become something different than they started out to
be. In order for a group to survive, the individuals
within that group need to protect the life of the
group. They need to listen to the rumblings within,
pay attention to the outside forces, and take the
necessary steps to keep the group healthy.
Not all groups have a long life. Some serve their purpose, and end quietly and gracefully. Some explode
in discontent and scatter members in all directions.
Some manage to continue to reinvent themselves,
take in fresh ideas, attract new people, and remain
energized. If a group has served its members and
lived a good life, it may be okay to let it die. But
what do members and leaders do when the group is
floundering and no one wants it to die, but no one
knows what to do?
It doesn’t matter at what level a group operates—if
the group achieves any kind of longevity, there will
come a time when members will need to consciously
plan for ways to rebuild the organization from
within, rejuvenate membership and leadership, and
refocus mission and energy. It takes a lot of energy
to develop a group and to provide services to families. No matter how a group grows, it has to take
care of its leadership and respond to its members’
needs to remain effective and provide quality services to families.
BEING CREATIVE
Even if your group has found tried and true solutions to problems or has repeated efforts and events
that are popular with group members, always look
for ways to be creative. Put a new twist in something
you have done for years, and by all means try something different. When people tap into their creativity, their energy can spread and sometimes spark
creativity in others. When group members tap
deeper into their creative selves, obstacles to difficult
problems can disappear. When that happens, your
group drops its problem-focused mentality and
becomes a solution-oriented group.
GROUPS THAT HAVE A LONG,
PRODUCTIVE LIFE:
• tap into their creativity
• work to build community among their members
• see the connectedness in all human beings
RETAINING MEMBERS
Over time, many groups struggle with attendance.
You can try a variety of strategies to keep members
interested and engaged.
BUDDY SYSTEM
One program that has been successful for many
groups is a buddy system. Leaders pair more experienced adoptive parents with new or prospective parents. The inexperienced member has someone to turn
to for support, encouragement, parenting advice, and
tips for how to successfully access services. Parents
soon begin to share strategies and often trade child
care. Sometimes the experienced parent can help the
inexperienced parent negotiate the system. For exam-
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
59
NEWSWORTHY MEMBERS
A newsletter can give your group a built-in way to honor members and keep
them connected. Parent groups have published:
• the names of group members who have welcomed a new adopted, foster,
or birth child into their family
• a profile of a different family in each issue, including names, favorite
foods, activities, pets, successes, and barriers overcome
• the names of each new group member—parents and children
• donations a family needs (a toy for a new toddler, musical
instruments for a newly adopted teen, etc.) that other members might
have available to donate or share
ple, if the newer parent is having difficulty getting
services for his children, the experienced parent may
have more inside information about how to access
medical help or get results from social services.
Think about how you will pair families—geographic
closeness, similar life experiences, etc. In addition to
retaining members, the buddy system allows parents
to form a close bond with others who have been
through similar circumstances.
MENTORS
Assigning a mentor to new members is similar to a
buddy system, but mentors can be assigned on a
need basis, upon request, or to everyone for the first
year. Either way, new members will feel more like
remaining an active part of a group when there is
a system in place that helps them feel valued and
connected with other members.
One creative group tried a different phoning system when
membership waned. The leaders asked a respected member
of the group to call each member to announce a meeting to
dissolve the group because
of low attendance. The next
meeting there was  percent
attendance of concerned and
motivated members. This idea
proved to be effective, but
can’t be used often because
members will likely consider
it a false alarm.
VALUE YOUR MEMBERS’ TALENTS
While it can sometimes be difficult to find people
to take on a long-term leadership position, it is
often easy to recruit people to offer their specific
expertise or talent. Maybe you have an excellent
web designer, writer, accountant, trainer, speaker,
lawyer, or chef. Learn about and assess the talents of
each group member and think of ways to tap into
those skills. This will help your members feel appreciated for their skills and give them a chance to help
the group.
Remember to look for all of your members’ talents.
Sometimes the last thing a chef wants to do is cook
another meal after she leaves work, but maybe she is
also a talented writer or speaker. Survey each member and keep updated records of their talents so that
you benefit from the gifts each member has to offer.
GIVING PEOPLE FREEDOM TO CHANGE
PHONE TREES
ALLOW OTHERS TO LEAD
Phone trees are simple ways for members to remind
each other about future meetings and events. Each
member is assigned a person to call or a team of
people is assigned a list of people to call. Receiving
a phone call from another member of the group
can serve not only as a reminder of the meeting,
but also as a reminder that each person is a valued
member of the group.
60
As a group leader, you have to let yourself step down
when its time to move on to something new or
when your vision for the group conflicts with
group’s desires. Group members who feel ready to
take on leadership can feel discounted and ignored
if longtime leaders won’t let anyone else lead.
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
Building a system within the group to rotate leadership responsibilities can help prevent burnout and
keep energy flowing. Early on, you should develop a
plan to share leadership or pass the torch. Take time
with the transition and make sure members accept
the new leader. Allow new leaders to express their
vision and offer their ideas and talents to the group.
Remain connected and helpful, but let the new
leader set the tone and make decisions.
ALLOW PEOPLE TO LEAVE
Even though groups should try to retain members,
they also need to know there are people who need to
leave. Some people are ready to move on because
their needs have been met, they need something different than what the group can provide, they are
unwilling to work with others, or other reasons. Let
them go. When any member leaves, however, you
should document the reasons. The telephone survey
on page  has some questions that specifically ask
exiting members about why they are leaving. Make
sure you ask these questions of everyone who leaves.
If many members are leaving for the same reason,
your group should decide if you have a problem that
needs to be addressed.
LOOKING INWARD
HONOR THE EFFORTS OF LEADERS
AND MEMBERS
Take time to honor your current leaders and members and recognize their accomplishments. It is hard
work to lead a group and take on the many tasks
that members commit to. Every job is important
because it helps the group achieve its mission. Take
the time to celebrate the good things your group has
done. Have an awards dinner with silly awards for
all, give thank you cards and small gifts, and take the
time to acknowledge what each person has done for
the group and the community.
LAUGH TOGETHER
Figure out what it will take to get your whole group
laughing. Laugh about the silly things that have happened in your group, even the failures or mistakes.
These are the funny stories that bind you together
and forge a greater sense of community. The main
perks of belonging to a parent support group are the
sense of community that is earned through your
relationships and the good work you do
for families.
LISTEN TO GROUP MEMBERS
Groups exist for the group members and for the
benefits they provide to the community, not for
their leadership. If membership has dropped or people are unhappy, the leadership circle needs to take
the time to find out why. Then they must respond to
keep the group alive. Members will not stay if no
one listens to them.
Early on, you provided a questionnaire to your
members so that you could get information about
members’ needs. You should continually gather
information from your members, because people
and needs change. If you haven’t been using the
tracking and evaluating materials provided in chapter , consider doing this now. Record contacts with
parents and track which events are successful, and
which families are participating in meetings, activities, or projects.
If one faction of your membership seems uninvolved, maybe it is because you aren’t meeting their
needs. The survey on page  can be used during a
phone interview where you record members’
answers to specific questions. Or you can adapt it so
that members can fill it out themselves. Phone interviews will probably be the most successful, because
more people may respond and you can get clarification to answers if needed. Analyze the responses you
get. For example, if parents are expressing a lack of
time for the group (and most families today are
overburdened), a scheduled event like a dinner can
provide family time together and help you keep your
members. Make sure any changes you propose
reflect the data gathered from your members.
When you get feedback from members about things
that could be improved or should change, how well
does the leadership circle listen? How well do
members listen to each other? How quickly does
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
61
your group respond to feedback? If a group fails
to respond to feedback from individuals, group
members will feel angry, discounted, and invisible
and may leave. Groups with a shorter feedback loop
have leaders who hear the solutions to problems
or suggested changes, discuss them, and then take
immediate action.
Sometimes the action a group takes is to institute
change, and sometimes it is to discuss modifications
to suggestions, or explain why changes are not
recommended at this time. Responsiveness of this
kind shows the group that the leadership is responsive to their members’ needs and that what the
members think, feel, and say is important even if
leaders don’t follow all the suggestions.
Some issues that members raise will reflect one person’s opinion or the thoughts of a small group, and
the group members or leader may decide not to
change. Other times the idea may be eagerly
embraced, even if one person suggests it, because the
idea is good and the group unanimously wants it
implemented. The leadership circle will have to
decide which issues they want to bring to the attention of the whole group and which ones can be settled on an individual basis.
RESOLVE CONFLICT
A group that lives in constant turmoil and conflict
cannot survive. Some people may stay to fight, get
battered around, or watch the fighting, but the
group won’t be able to accomplish much and it certainly won’t be healthy. Healthy groups try to resolve
conflict either by openly seeking its source and planning a strategy for resolving it, or by bringing in an
outside expert to help the group work through the
problem. If you ignore conflict, you risk losing good
people or the entire group.
PROVIDE SOLUTION-ORIENTED MEETINGS
Check to see how your meetings are run. Are the
same people dominating group discussions? Are the
meetings bogged down by continued discussions
of problems with no mention of solutions? Are solutions repeatedly offered to parents who don’t listen
or try them? If you answered “yes,” you may have a
problem with facilitation. Is anyone monitoring
and guiding the meeting? If meetings are focused
only on problems and seldom look at solutions or
members ignore offered solutions, other members
will feel trapped in an endless negative cycle.
TAKING STOCK AND MAKING CHANGES
A group in Utah conducted a survey of all its members and collected
information about race and ethnic background, family makeup (number
of birth and adopted children), type of adoption, and services used in the
past. After reviewing the results from more than  families, leaders
made changes in the group’s services to better reflect the changes in their
group’s needs.
For example, leaders discovered that fewer of the group’s families had
adopted from foster care than they had thought. As a result, they launched
several efforts to promote adoption from foster care—a key component of
their mission. In addition, to help its many transracial families, the group
partnered with the local African American community to enhance two of
the group’s four main activities.
Another group found a quick way to get changing information from group
members. They now have a few simple questions written on their membership renewal form.
62
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
If meetings are always depressing and members begin to feel
there is little hope, attendance
will drop. If this sounds like
your group, maybe you can
create or re-activate the buddy
system or provide mentors to
help support the families in crisis. If several people can share
the duties of support outside of
the meeting time, it can help all
parties involved. Group members should want to support
each other, but not at the
expense of the life of the group.
When the group comes up with
solutions for a problem, break
that solution into small, measurable action steps. Assign tasks
to volunteers and ask that they
commit to completing those
action steps in a timely
manner. The focus will shift
from talking about problems to solving them.
MEET GROUP MEMBERS IN CYBERSPACE
If, over time, attendance drops and more and more members are unable to
attend meetings due to scheduling difficulties or geographical barriers, consider offering support on the Internet. Your group could do something
as simple as creating an e-mail group or listserv for all group members.
You could communicate with each other anytime day or night and not have
to leave home for a meeting. Your group could also create a web site to
function as an online support group. Consider using online chat rooms for
more structured discussion times, or message boards where parents can post
questions or ideas whenever it is convenient for them and check back later to
see who has responded. You may find that you still want to meet in person
and you could do this from time to time.
REVISIT YOUR MISSION
STATEMENT
Look at your group’s mission statement. Sometimes
a group simply needs to follow its current mission
more closely. When group
members get back in touch
with the passion behind
their mission and remember how to break their goals
into action steps that produce results, group energy
can be revitalized.
A group in Virginia realized the value of using the Internet to provide the
benefits of a parent group without having to work within the limitations of
the schedules and locations of the group’s members. Offering help, hope,
wholeness, and support, the group translated the goals of a traditional faceto-face parent group to cyberspace. The group’s motto, “support is support,”
captures the idea that the goal is to provide parents with the support they
need, regardless of the strategy you use to connect parents to that support.
Demonstrating the potential of an online group to break down geographic
barriers to parents connecting for mutual support, this once-local group
now attracts participants from other counties, states, and even countries.
Sometimes the mission no
longer fits the group, so
your direction or the mission needs to change.
Whichever may be the case
for you, your group should
set up a meeting to re-examine the mission statement, maybe even develop a new one, and recapture
the energy you once had.
BECOME A NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION
For some groups, a needed boost comes from seeking nonprofit status. If your group has the desire
and the know-how to implement needed solutions,
but lacks the money to expand your services and
programs, re-read chapter , get started, and move
forward toward your goals.
RETREAT WITH YOUR GROUP
The energy in a group changes just like it does in
people. Sometimes group members need time to get
away, relax, and recharge at a retreat away from
other pressures. This time together can help build
relationships among members; help people recommit to the group; and give the group time to plan,
strategize, and determine the direction it wants to
take. If your group decides to take a retreat, make
sure you give your members time to socialize so that
the retreat is relaxing. When people are enjoying
themselves, they will be more cooperative and better
able to focus on the tasks you give them.
Plan the content of your retreat carefully, looking at
the main issues, decisions, or work the group needs
to do. Prior to the retreat, collect information from
your members regarding what people most want
addressed and then have the leadership circle or a
subcommittee plan retreat activities.
Some groups have a yearly retreat to carefully plan
what they want to accomplish in the coming year. At
the retreat they assign duties and responsibilities so
that group members know well in advance when
they have to complete a task and can plan how they
will accomplish their volunteer efforts around a
busy family schedule.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
63
LOOKING OUTWARD
REASSESS YOUR COMMUNITY NEEDS
Make sure your group is offering services or meeting
a real need in your community. If you are stuck
doing things the same old way and have lost touch
with what your surrounding community needs,
attendance and enthusiasm for what you have to
offer will decrease. You may want to survey community members to find out what their current needs
are. When your group becomes enlightened about a
real need, passion and commitment can return to the
group and give it strength, energy, and a new focus.
LOOK FOR NEW FUNDING SOURCES
Sometimes groups become passive because they
have good ideas, but no money to do the work they
want to do. If your group doesn’t want to give up,
you simply have to work to find money for your
64
projects. If you are having trouble with money
issues, organize a meeting to specifically outline the
roadblocks to securing funding. If the members of
your leadership circle don’t have fundraising skills,
you need to recruit someone who is good at writing
grant proposals, asking for donations, or planning
funding strategies. Although new money coming
into an organization can’t solve fundamental
problems, it does wonders for increasing motivation
and enthusiasm.
TALK TO SUCCESSFUL GROUPS
All groups experience times when they need rejuvenation and may want to learn what other groups do to
get rejuvenated. Talk to other leaders to gather ideas
for your group. Look at groups that are like yours and
others that are different. Be open to new ways your
group can approach the work it wants to do.
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
GROUP MEMBER TELEPHONE SURVEY
Hello, my name is[your name]. I’m calling on behalf
of [your group’s name]. We are conducting a survey
to better understand the needs of our members and
would very much like to include your opinions. Your
comments will remain completely confidential. We
will take the survey information we compile from
the group, and prepare a summary of our results.
With the information we gather we hope to learn
how to better support our membership. Do you have
time to do this now or would it be better to schedule
another time?
7. How many years have you been an adoptive family?
_____< years
_____‒ years
_____‒ years
_____‒ years
_____‒ years
_____+ years
8. What specifically do you like about [your group’s
name]? What are the group’s strengths?
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
1. How many children do you have?_____
2. How many of those children came into your family
through adoption?_____
9. What do you dislike about[your group’s name]?
What are some of the weaknesses?
__________________________________________
3. What are the ages of all your children?
__________________________________________
Adopted children____________
Birth children_____________
Kinship children_____________
Foster children____________
__________________________________________
4. At what age were your children adopted?
_____< year
_____‒ years
_____‒ years
_____‒ years
_____‒ years
_____over  years
5. Have you adopted any children of a different race or
culture than your own? (If yes, ask for specific
details on race/ethnic background.)
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
6. What age group are you in?
_____< years
_____‒ years
_____‒ years
_____‒ years
_____‒ years
_____+ years
10. With what degree of regularity do you attend the
[your group’s name] support group meetings?
_____ frequently
_____ regularly
_____ occasionally
_____ rarely
_____ never
If the respondent rarely or never participates in
meetings, ask:
What are some of the reasons you don’t attend the
[your group’s name] meetings more often?_______
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
11. What are some of the things [your group’s name]
might offer that would make group meetings more
meaningful to you? What would you like to see
more or less of? Are there issues you would like
addressed?
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
65
12. Should group meetings involve children as well
as parents?
_____ yes _____ no
Why or why not? If yes, in what way should children
be involved?
__________________________________________
14. Do you have any other comments that you think
are important for [your group’s name] to
consider?
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
13. Do you currently volunteer or have you ever volunteered for any of [your group’s name] activities?
Thank you very much for your valuable input.
_____ yes _____ no
If yes, which activities?
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
If no, why not?
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
What are some of the things that would make you
more interested or likely to volunteer for [your
group’s name] activities?
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
66
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
CONCLUSION
We hope you have found the information in this
guide to be helpful to you as a parent group leader.
While the job of a parent group leader has numerous
rewards, there are also hurdles and challenges along
the way. When you feel caught up in a problem or
can’t see your way past a crisis, remember to return
to your sources of support. Talk to other groups in
your community, look for sources on the Internet,
return to chapters in the guide, or contact NACAC to
find solutions and renew your energy.
There isn’t a leader who hasn’t been discouraged,
made mistakes, or wondered what to do next.
Whether you know it or not, you are linked with
other parent group leaders across North America
whose dedication, hard work, and persistence make
all the difference in the world to individual children,
families, and communities. The passion and commitment from parent leaders has changed public policy
and legislation and made a difference in the lives of
many people. Follow your passion, ask for help when
you need it, and never lose your vision. Even as
society changes, the simple truth that children need a
family and families need support will never change.
STARTING AND NURTURING ADOPTIVE PARENT GROUPS
67
NACAC MEMBERSHIP
Staying abreast of current adoption and foster care
issues can be difficult for parent group leaders. At
NACAC, we provide information and connections
to make your life easier as you help children and
adoptive families.
NACAC OFFERS FOUR MEMBERSHIP LEVELS:
voting rights in NACAC’s parent group member
assembly.
• Individual/family members receive one copy of
each Adoptalk, one discounted registration at
NACAC’s annual conference, technical assistance,
and a complimentary copy of the National
Adoption Awareness Month Guide.
• Parent group members receive one subscription
to Adoptalk (our quarterly newsletter), one discounted conference registration, technical assistance, Network News, a complimentary copy of
several NACAC publications, and a  percent discount on other publications. Parent group members
also have voting rights in NACAC’s parent group
member assembly.
To join NACAC, fill in the membership form below
and return it with payment to:  Raymond Avenue,
Suite , St. Paul, MN -.
• Organizational members receive five copies
of each edition of
Adoptalk, discounted
conference registration
fees for all employees,
plus technical assistance
on adoption-related
issues, the periodical
news brief Network
News, one complimentary copy of many
NACAC publications, a
 percent discount on
other publications.
NACAC MEMBERSHIP
• Enhanced parent group
members receive the
same benefits as organizational members, plus
To request more information or obtain a sample
Adoptalk, contact NACAC at .. or
[email protected].
I/We would like to become a NACAC member at the following level:
___Parent Group— U.S./ Canada
___Organizational— U.S./ Canada
___Enhanced Parent Group— U.S./ Canada
___Individual/Family— U.S./ Canada
Name(s) ________________________________________________________________________
Organization______________________________________________________________________
Address __________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Phone __________________________________
Fax ________________________________
E-mail __________________________________________________________________________
Payment Type:
___check ___money order ___credit card* (if credit card, please complete information below)
___MasterCard ___VISA
Card Number ________________________________________________________________
Expiration Date__________________
Name on Card______________________________
Signature ____________________________________________________________________
*Credit card payments are charged in U.S. currency at U.S. rates.
Federal ID #-
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL
ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
970 Raymond Avenue, Suite 106
St. Paul, MN 55114-1149
651.644.3036
www.nacac.org
70
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTABLE CHILDREN
[email protected]
p
connectio
discussing
communic
communit
answers d
family fun
ship care
support f
needs res
empoweri
connectio