Editorial board:
Harry Markis, Leachim ben Rentsrof, DB007, Acid Rain,
Heavy Hjallberg & Dr Rage (Ed)
E-Copy to: “[email protected]”
U R L : http: / / x r a y . b m c . u u . s e / d o m b o
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New Editor
Dombo Top 5
Due to prolonged inactivity, Karl Andreasson has been
fired as editor of Dombo. In his place, we have hired the
talented Leachim ben Rentsrof. Andreasson consistently
failed to meet his quota set out in the Dombo five-year
plan. His new address is: Karl Andreasson, Gulag 69,
Siberia. Comrade ben Rentsrof is planning to quadruple
the output of Andreasson !
This month: the Top 5 embarrassing packages
you can send to a friend (or foe):
5. From: Strange Sex Practices Illustrated: Instructional
Video Enclosed
4. From: Sheep Lovers International, Your Inflate-ASheep
Enclosed
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3. From: Inflatable Doll of the Month Club, Your Order
Enclosed
2. From: The Impotence Support Group, Your
• Mr Bubbles: "I think they should lower the legal Application Accepted
1. From: Viagra for Less, We are not hard on your wallet
drinking age in Sweden."
• Dr MF: "You know, in Austria nobody knows what the _______________________________________
legal drinking age is, but the legal age is 16."
• Mr Bubbles: "Here the legal age is 15!"
• Dr MF: "I knew that Sweden was a liberal country, but On the Dombo web-site you can find a checkthat's new to me."
list
for
the
perfect
woman
• Mr Bubbles: "Well - so you are not a PEDESTRIAN (h t t p : / / x r a y . b m c . u u . s e / d o m b o / p i c s / l i s t . j p g ).
after all...."
Here is our suggestion for items to be included
Overheard
The Perfect Man
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Mark’s Mini Matrix
Potties:
http://www.packinpotty.com
Tired of carrying around that big porcelain bowl ? Then
Banyan Industries offers the relief you've been looking for.
A toilet that folds up into a briefcase. Why has no-one
thought of that before ? And not only is it a must-have for
all commuters, but according to the manufacturers, it is
ideal for all those "disasters striking different parts of the
world". Isn't that just what you want after an earthquake
has demolished your town, ten thousand little briefcases
discreetly sitting around the countryside ? They also claim
that most of their sales come from "word of mouth"
recommendations, but my guess is that they are talking
out of their bottoms.
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Bizarre E-mails
The following is yet another genuine (!) E-mail received
by Dombo editorial staff recently. (Note that this student’s
Swedish is worse than that of certain Professors ...)
on any check-list for the perfect man:
- Honest, honey, vacuum cleaning is my hobby !
- I insist that your mother come along on our camping trip!
- Of course you can buy that, baby ! After all, we can't take
our money with us when we go !
- If you don't buy another pair of shoes yourself, I'll do it
for you !
- You go back to sleep, honey. I'll go and feed the baby !
- I've never understood this fascination that some people
have with anal intercourse !
- Why don't we throw all booze out of the house ?
- Shouldn't you be shopping at the mall with your friends ?
- God, you're beautiful !
- Come here, you ! Let me hug and kiss and caress you !
- You're always so adorable at this time of the month !
- Why don't we go shopping instead of watching the ball
game and drinking beer ?
- No, I don't have to come every time we make love !
- Are you absolutely sure that there's not a single
household chore left that I could do ? Please !
- Of course I don't mind all the dents. After all, the car was
almost a year old already !
- Have you lost weight again ?
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“Hej, Isabella!
She was only the ...
Jag har inte undgått mig att du har din e-mial-adress
parkerad på en "Structural Biology" server, varför jag helt ...admiral's daughter, but her naval base was always full of
seamen.
fräckt antar att du kan histologi.
...communist's daughter, but all the boys got a share.
Vad innebär "PAS-färgning"?
...jockey's daughter, but all the horse manure.
Vad är "Liebekühn'ska kryptor" för någonting?”
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Volume 9, Issue 2, April 2000
Another Annika Lantz Special
Page # 3
Besserwisserbonanza
Rumour has it ...
1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
3. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
4. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
5. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
6. There are more chickens than people in the world.
7. Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New
Jersey.
8. The longest one-syllable word in the English language
is "screeched."
9. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the
Parliament building is an American flag.
10. All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are
stuck on 4:20.
11. No word in the English language rhymes with month,
orange, silver, or purple.
12. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the
letters "mt".
13. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln
Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
14. Almonds are a member of the peach family.
15. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a
dance.
16. Maine is the only state whose name is just one
syllable.
17. There are only four words in the English language
which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous,
and hazardous.
18. Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra
Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula"
19. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
20. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
21. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
22. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch
is 10:10.
23. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture
dealer.
24. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were
named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank
Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life."
25. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
26. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
27. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
28. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
29. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
30. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to
speak.
31. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked
by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
32. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.
33. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
34. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
35. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with
only the left hand.
... that an anonymous supervisor was recently teaching his
students, in the old Uppsala tradition "tänka fritt är stort,
tänka rätt är större": "There can simply not exist any
better way to solve this problem. I mean, what would it
be?"
... that Decibella F. recently gave a seminar whose title
was: “H/D and H/T KIE by PIMC in EVB/FEP/MD and
by QM derived ZPE effects on the Glx1 RLS PT”. One
cannot help but wonder: Y ?
... that someone asked her: “why such a long title ? you
could have abbreviated "and" to "&" and "effects" to
"FX". do you really think everybody has the time to read
such a long title ???”
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When you're a god, you don't have to have
reasons.
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Dombo web-site
The Dombo web-site now contains:
• HaHaHa - funny bits that are not included in the printed
journal: DomboPolls, WöWöWö, Berries, Wonders,
DirtyPix, JunkLinks, PermaLinks, NaughtyQueries,
CCPbore. Updated regularly !
• DomBästaBitar - best of volumes 8 and 8: Overheard,
Rumour has it, Miss Understood, I met Lassie, Dombo
Top 5, MMM. Updated from time to time.
• Old gold - material from volumes 1-5: All about O,
Taking the piss, Alwyn Jones, Limericks, Lots-o-stuff,
XRAY Hot 10, Real quotes, Swenglish, Useful idiom,
Xtallisation news. Not updated at all.
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Dear Bob
Q: My husband wants to experience three-in-abed-sex with me and my sister.
A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get
enough of you, so he goes for the next best thing - your
sister. Far from being an issue, this will bring all of the
family together. Why not get some cousins involved? If
you are still apprehensive, then let him go with your
relatives, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him
a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behaviour.
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Joke for Aussies
An Aussie tourist arrived in New Zealand, hired a car and
set off for the wilderness. On his way he saw a bloke
having sex with a sheep. Deeply horrified, he pulled up at
the nearest pub and ordered a straight Scotch. Just as he was
about to throw it back, he saw a bloke with one leg
masturbating furiously at the bar. "God!" the bloke cried,
"what the heck is going on here? I've been here one hour
and I've seen a bloke banging a sheep, and now some
bloke's spanking himself in the bar!" "Fair go, mate," the
bartender told him, "you can't expect a man with one leg to
catch a sheep."
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Volume 9, Issue 2, April 2000
Another Annika Lantz Special
Page # 4