Diocese of Norwich
Marriage
Preparation
2016
The true matrimonial union of man and woman, a valid
marriage, is indissoluble. God Himself has determined it:
“What therefore God has joined together, let no man put
asunder.” (Matthew 19:6)
Don’t try to do it alone! In fact, every marriage needs
God’s grace. Pray together to the Lord to bless and guide you
and to become witnesses of his love. By coming to restore the
original order of creation, Christ Himself gives the strength
and grace to live marital love. It is by following Christ’s example of sacrificial and self-donating gift of love, that spouses
are able to embrace the original meaning of marriage and live
it with the grace of Christ.
WHY MARRIAGE PREPARATION?
The Church aims to provide the opportunity for engaged
couples to experience the plan God intends for their marriage.
God created, designed and defined marriage as the loving
covenantal bond between man and woman that reflects His
love.
The Church wishes the engaged couple to grasp the unique
and multi-faceted nature of marriage made holy in Christ beyond its purely social or legal requirements. The Diocese of
Norwich has formulated a positive approach to marriage preparation. These guidelines apply to all marriages in the diocese
in which a Catholic takes part.
A MARRIAGE PREPARATION PROCESS
PREPARE FOR THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE
Love is a decision for the good of another. It is the gift
of self for another. This sacrifice is a proclamation of God’s
love in living life unselfishly. In a very special way, husband
and wife are called to help each other live holy lives, give
themselves as a gift of self-donating love to each other, and
guide their children in holiness.
By creating the opportunity for dialogue and assessment
of the engaged couple’s readiness to enter the sacrament, the
church provides the support for them to prepare for marriage.
The three phases of the Diocesan Marriage Guidelines are
designed to pastorally guide the engaged couple, enabling him
and her to evaluate their own relationship and deepen it before
a permanent commitment is made. The primary goal is to
assist the couple as they prepare and discern for their sacramental marriage.
CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE: PRIVATE AND PUBLIC
Marriage has been raised by Christ as a Sacrament. The marriage of a Christian man and woman possesses a unique character. It is a sign of Christ’s love and living presence to others.
The bride and the bridegroom are the ministers of the Sacrament of Marriage.
This love is characterized by the Biblical idea of covenant.
That is, covenant love is the bond of a solemn promise of two
people who commit themselves to each other. To be married in
the Catholic Church means far more than to have the wedding
ceremony in a church building. While marriage as a “contract”
is legally binding, a covenant is spiritually and morally binding. In a Sacramental Marriage a man and a woman are joined
together united as one in an everlasting bonding covenant of
love.
Phase I - Proclaim Your Commitment
A. Engagement represents a new stage in the development of your relationship; it is a time of actively preparing for
the complete commitment of marriage. At least six months to a
year before the wedding, the future bride and groom should
contact and register with your parish priest. The purpose of the
six months minimum is to permit a full and active discernment
process. You will complete the Pre-Nuptial Investigation in the
parish, and complete the process for requirements of marriages
which may be taking place in another diocese, state or country.
B. The priest or deacon who will be witnessing your
marriage will meet with you in order to develop a helpful rela-
tionship so that you might share your feelings, expectations,
and beliefs about yourselves and the essential elements of marriage.
After you have registered in your parish with your wedding date, choose and register for one of the Phase 2 Marriage
Preparation programs to complete at least (highly recommended) 6 months before your wedding date. See next section.
The “Twogether in Love” Program is available in some
parishes. (Fee as determined by the pastor.) The program also
follows the curriculum of the Diocesan Marriage Preparation
classes, the Decision to Love workbook and the Natural Family
Planning Introduction. Call Catholic Family Services for
availability.
Phase 2 - Enrich your Commitment
Together you will attend a Marriage Preparation aimed at
helping you gain insight into yourselves and your relationship
and providing you with knowledge for enriching your marriage. Engaged couples choose one of the following options
for your Marriage Preparation ~ Pre Cana:
III.
I.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
Engaged Encounter Weekend
Twogether in Love
New Life – New Love for Remarriage
Marriage Preparation Classes
Online Catholic Marriage Preparation
These programs are directed to helping couples discern
more deeply their decision to marry. Early participation in this
phase is encouraged so that couples will give this phase the
attention it deserves and not be distracted by the details of last
minute wedding preparations. Included in marriage preparation
is an Introduction to Natural Family Planning, which is a requirement of the diocese and the United States Conference of
Catholic Bishops (USCCB).
I.
ENGAGED ENCOUNTER
An Engaged Encounter is a weekend away with other engaged couples preparing for marriage. It is designed to give
couples planning marriage the opportunity to dialogue honestly
about their future lives together - their strengths and weaknesses, desires and ambitions - in a face-to-face way.
An Engaged Encounter weekend is open to any couple
registered to be married in the Church in any Diocese.
The weekend is specifically designed for dialogue between
the couple; there are no group dynamics. Through a series of
talks presented by a team of two married couples and a priest,
the couple is encouraged to dialogue privately with each other
on all aspects of married life. Communal meals and liturgy
provide group participation.
The Engaged Encounter begins about 7:30 PM on Friday
evening, and concludes about 2 PM on Sunday afternoon.
The cost of the weekend is determined by the location,
and includes two nights lodging and four meals. Early sign-up
for a weekend is highly recommended. You may attend an Engaged Encounter Weekend anywhere in the US. To register go
to:
Website: engagedencounter.org for all weekends in US.
II.
TWOGETHER IN LOVE PROGRAM
The “Twogether in Love” Program gives the engaged couple the opportunity of meeting with a married parish couple in
the parish couple’s home for 3 or 4 one to two-hour sessions.
Study materials are provided. This program offers a chance to
share and discuss on a couple to couple basis.
NEW LOVE - NEW LIFE FOR REMARRIAGE
The marriage preparation program offers support to couples experiencing a remarriage. This is combined with the Diocesan marriage preparation classes with additional discussion
materials added to address couples’ experiences and common
concerns. When registering for this course, please specify remarriage. Topics include relationship with former spouse and
blending families.
Please call the Catholic Family Services office to register.
Cost: Included in the marriage preparation course.
IV.
MARRIAGE PREPARATION CLASSES
Marriage preparation classes are offered throughout the year by
the Catholic Family Services office. The three-session course
offers engaged couples an understanding of God’s plan for
sacramental marriage and human sexuality in the beauty of the
Church’s vision of marriage, as proclaimed by Pope John Paul
II in his writings of The Theology of the Body, along with A
Decision to Love workbook, group discussions and an NFP
Introduction presented by our certified NFP instructors.
To register or for more information please call:
The Catholic Family Services Office: 860-848-2237 ext. 306.
Dates:
Fri. Feb. 5, 12, 19, 2016 6:30 P.M.-9 P.M.
At Our Lady of Lourdes, 1650 Rte. 12, Gales Ferry
Fri. Apr. 8, 15, 22, 2016 6:30 P.M.-9 P.M.
At St. Francis of Assisi, 10 Elm St., Middletown
Fri. July 15, 22, 2016 6:30 P.M.-9 P.M. and
Saturday, July 23, 9:30 A.M. to noon
At Our Lady of Lourdes, 1650 Rte. 12, Gales Ferry
Sat. Oct. 8, 22, 29, 2016 9:30 A.M.-Noon
At St. Joseph Church Hall, 11 Baltic Rd., Occum
Cost: $60.00 per couple
V.
ONLINE CATHOLIC MARRIAGE PREPARATION
The online Marriage Preparation Program is available
at: www.catholicmarriageprep.com. Contact: The Catholic
Family Services Office if you are registering for the online
course.
Payment and registration is completed on their website.
Other websites of interest include:
www.foryourmarriage.org for engaged and married and
www.catholicweddinghelp.com help for planning your day!
Phase 3 – Celebrate your Commitment
In a final meeting or two, after the marriage preparation
has been completed the priest or deacon will explain the ceremony options and will help both of you plan the liturgy for
your wedding day (texts, music, etc.) Time is given by the
priest and you to review your readiness to enter marriage and
to have the opportunity to participate in the Sacrament of Reconciliation to experience your marriage ceremony in a state of
Grace.
training to achieve much wanted pregnancies, and the charts of
those who may need medical help assists the physician.
Is NFP Morally Acceptable? Yes, the Catholic Church
NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING
Couples preparing for marriage should be introduced to
Natural Family Planning (NFP) the practice of achieving or
avoiding pregnancies according to an informed awareness of a
woman’s fertility. An Introduction to NFP is a Diocesan and
USCCB requirement of marriage preparation. Taking an NFP
course while engaged is your optimum preparation. The divorce rate of couples using NFP is less than 3 percent compared to ~50 percent. Natural Family Planning is marriage
insurance!
Why is NFP the best in Family planning? NFP is the
medically safe, (no dangerous chemicals, synthetic hormones,
side effects or devices) healthy, and highly effective method of
planning your family. NFP is immediately accessible for
achieving or avoiding pregnancy. Most importantly, it is morally in union with God’s plan for marriage, love and life.
What’s the basis for NFP? It is scientifically established
that during each menstrual cycle a woman normally becomes
fertile and then naturally infertile. The fertile time is the part
of her cycle when sexual intercourse can result in pregnancy.
A woman’s body provides certain physical signs to indicate her
fertile and infertile times. You know precisely when you are
fertile or not fertile.
What is the Sympto-Thermal Method of Natural
Family Planning? The Sympto-Thermal Method is a system
of using different physical signs in a cross-checking way for
the highest confidence and reliability in family planning. This
simple process gives a couple an accurate, day to day picture of
the woman’s fertility.
Is this what used to be called the “Rhythm Method?”
Absolutely not! The Rhythm Method was the Calendar
Rhythm Method developed in 1930. It was based on biological
averages to estimate a future fertility cycle. NFP is a different
scientific method.
Can NFP work with irregular cycles?
In general, if her a woman’s fertile time comes earlier or
later than usual, she knows about it because of physical signs
that she is trained to identify.
How EFFECTIVE is NFP? Numerous studies, including
one by the U.S. Government, have shown that the SymptoThermal Method of NFP can be used at the 99 percent level of
effectiveness for AVOIDING pregnancy. That’s equal to the
birth control pill and better than all the barrier methods.
Can NFP help ACHIEVE pregnancy? Yes. With NFP
you will become aware of the most fertile days in your overall
fertile time, and you will learn how to maximize your mutual
fertility. Many couples of marginal fertility are helped by NFP
accepts the use of Natural Family Planning when couples
have serious reasons for spacing babies or family limitation.
For more NFP information or to register for an NFP class,
visit the Couple to Couple League website at www.ccli.org
NFP CLASSES are scheduled throughout the year
in the diocese by the CCLI NFP certified instructors
below. It is recommended that engaged couples
attend an NFP Course, which is a three-part
monthly series of classes.
Southwest - Old Saybrook
The Collisons (860) 399-8265
Southeast – Pawcatuck - Westerly
The Bliers
(401) 596-9582
The Brodeurs (401) 596-3443
South Central - Gales Ferry
The Schantzes (860) 908-2333
NFP Home Study Course is available in English and
Spanish and Virtual Online Class at: www.ccli.org
Additional Natural Family Planning Methods:
Family of the Americas:
www.familyplanning.net
Sympto-Thermal Method: www.nfpandmore.org
Billings Ovulation Method: www.learnnfponline.com
NaProTech /Creighton:
www.fertilitycare.org or call
Jennifer Tress at 860-466-9612 or [email protected]
-------------------------------------------------
For Further Information on
Marriage and Natural Family Planning
programs contact:
The Catholic Family Services Office
The Diocese of Norwich
199 Broadway
Norwich, CT 06360-4407
Tel: 860-848-2237 ext. 306
Mary-Jo McLaughlin
[email protected]