Civil
Ceremonies
Ceremony Choices
Choices: Welcome
Congratulations on your decision to marry in the beautiful
county of Norfolk! This booklet outlines the ceremony choices
available to you and some general points to bear in mind for
your big day. You may prefer a small, informal event, or a more
elaborate celebration. Whichever you choose, we aim to
provide you with the help and advice that will enable you to
personalise your ceremony and ensure that it meets your
expectations.
Have a look at the options in this booklet and decide on your
preferences. Once you have reached your decisions please
complete the online Choices form which can be found at
www.marryinnorfolk.co.uk and is located on the marriage
page.
Please do this at least eight weeks before the date of your
wedding.
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We can provide elements of this booklet in large print,
alternative format or in a different language if you need
it. You can make a request by contacting Democratic
Services on (01603) 222946.
Choices: On the day
Arrival
The registration staff who are
responsible for the ceremony
will let you know when you
need to arrive at an register
office or approved venue for
your wedding. We will discuss
times with you before the day.
A registration officer will need
to see you both in private
before the ceremony to check
some details with you. Parties
are asked to be punctual.
Parking
Each venue has its own
parking arrangements and
you should ensure that you are
aware of the restrictions that
may apply.
Entrance
It may be possible for you to
enter the ceremony room
separately, and if you wish to
do so you should discuss this
with the registration officer.
Witnesses
You must provide two credible
witnesses to sign the register.
They may be relations, friends
or other persons nominated
by you. We prefer witnesses
to be 18 years of age or over
and they must understand the
content of the ceremony.
Music
Music can be played at the
beginning of the ceremony,
during the signing of the
register and at your exit. The
music you choose must not be
religious in nature. Register
offices have a small
collection of music but you are
welcome to provide your own.
Clearly labelled CDs should be
brought on the day. Please
discuss your requirements with
the registration officer. If you
are to be married in an
approved venue you will need
to make arrangements with
them.
Photography
You may wish to record your
marriage on video and/or
camera. We have written
some guidance for you and
your photographer and/or
videographer, and this can be
found at the back of this
booklet.
Music and Video Copyright
Please note that if you choose
to record your ceremony on
video, Norfolk County Council
accepts no liability for
copyright infringements of
music recorded for, and
during, ceremonies. You
should ensure that the proper
licence has been obtained.
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Choices: On the day
Choices:
Signing the register
At the end of the ceremony you will each be asked to check
the details recorded in the register. Any errors in the entry
can be corrected at this time. You and your witnesses will
then be asked to sign the register.
Housekeeping
The Registrar will ensure that all of the necessary
announcements are made prior to the ceremony beginning.
Your Ceremony
The following pages outline the choices you can make for
your ceremony. Once you have reached your decisions
please complete the online Choices form which can be
found at www.marryinnorfolk.co.uk and is located on the
marriage page.
•
If you decide to use ring words or readings that are not
in this booklet they must not be religious in nature. Please
attach a copy to your choices form.
•
Don’t worry - you don’t need to learn any words. The
registration officer will read out a few words at a time for you
to repeat.
a) Good morning/afternoon ladies and gentlemen. ..........
and .......... welcome you here today to .......... on the happy
occasion of their marriage.
b) Good morning/afternoon ladies and gentlemen, ..........
and .......... welcome you here today to .......... on the happy
occasion of their marriage. I'm sure that it means a great deal to
them that you are here to share in their happiness and celebrate
with them the beginning of their married life together.
c) Choose this option if you would like to compose your own
welcome; if may be a good idea to follow the examples in
options a & b, but personalised to you.
Introduction (compulsory words)
The Registrars will introduce themselves to your guests
"My name is .......... and it is my pleasure and privilege to be
conducting the ceremony here today on behalf of the Norfolk
Registration Service. I would also like to introduce my
colleague .......... who will register the marriage and ensure all the
legal formalities are completed correctly."
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Sanction (compulsory words)
This is a confirmation that the venue has been licensed for
marriages.
"This place in which we are now met has been duly sanctioned
according to law for the celebration of marriages. The ceremony
will be in accordance with the law of this country, which requires
the couple to declare their freedom to marry each other, before
they make their marriage contract and promise to take each
other as partners for life."
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Choices:
Choices:
Impediment (compulsory words)
A tradition where the Registrar asks guests if they have any legal
objection to the marriage.
Definition of marriage
The Registrar will state what the formal definition of marriage is.
"You are here today to witness the marriage of .......... and ..........
If any person here present knows of any legal implediment to
this marriage it must be declared now."
Giving away
Traditionally one partner would be "given away"
a) Not being given away (skip to the next section)
b) Being given away
a) Who gives .......... to be married to ..........
- Response; “I/we do.”
b) It has long been tradition for a bride to be 'given
away'. Today that honour falls to ........... So ..........
will you entrust .......... to the love and care of ..........?”
- Response; “I/we do”
Solemn (compulsory words)
A statement made by the Registrar of the importance of
marriage.
a) No definition of marriage
b) Marriage in this country means the union of two people,
voluntarily entered into for life, to the exclusion of all others.
Meaning of marriage
The Registrar will make an informal statement about the meaning
of marriage.
a) Marriage/It is not just a legal document, the exchange of rings
and the sharing of a home. In marriage two people make
promises that take a lifetime to fulfill.
b) Marriage is a promise of hope between two people who love
each other; to share love and friendship, and to offer help and
comfort in times of joy and in times of sorrow.
c) Choose this option if you would like to state what marriage
means to you personally.
".......... and .......... before you are joined in marriage, I should
remind you both of the solemn and binding nature of the vows
that you are about to make."
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Choices:
Declaratory words
You will each make a
declaration to the effect that
you are free lawfully to marry.
You must both choose the same
words.
Declaratory preliminary words
(compulsory words)
".......... and .......... will now
declare there is no legal reason
why they should not marry
before they go on to complete
their marriage contract."
Choose one of the following
three options
a) I do solemnly declare
That I know not
Of any lawful impediment
Why I .......... May not be joined
in matrimony to ..........
b) I declare that I know
Of no legal reason
Why I .......... may not be joined
in marriage. To ..........
c) Are you .......... free lawfully to
marry ..........?
- Response: I am
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Choices:
Contracting Words
You will each make a legal
contract accepting each
other. You must both choose
the same words.
Contracting preliminary words
(compulsory words)
"We now come to your
contracting words."
Choose one of the following
three options
a) I call upon these persons
here present
To witness that I ..........
Do take thee ..........
to be my lawful wedded
husband/wife.
b) I .......... Take you ..........
To be my wedded
husband/wife.
c) I ........... Take thee ..........
To be my wedded
husband/wife.”
Statement of intent (compulsory words)
The Registrar will ask you to make a promise to one another.
".......... do you take .......... to be your husband/wife and do you
promise to be loving, caring and loyal to him/her for the rest of
your life together?" - Response: "I do."
Reading Option 1 (If you would like to include a reading during
your ceremony it may be included here)
Additional Words (This is an opportunity to personalise your
ceremony - you may wish to include a word about absent
friends, special guests or a few words on how you met etc.)
Rings or other tokens introduction
A short introduction by the Registrar before rings are exchanged.
a) No rings to be exchanged (skip to extra wishes)
b) .......... and .......... you have chosen to demonstrate your
commitment by the giving and receiving of rings. A wedding ring
is an unbroken circle symbolising your love for one another.”
c) .......... and .......... have chosen to demonstrate their
commitment by the giving and receiving of rings. A wedding ring
is a symbol of the everlasting circle of love, truth and unity in
which two lives are joined together.”
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Choices:
Choices:
Ring or other token words
If you have chosen to exchange rings or other tokens, it is usual to
make a vow or promise. A selection of ring words follow but you
may write your own if you wish. The rings can be presented by
anyone, including children if that is your preference.
Rings conclusion
Choose one option to conclude the exchange of rings
a) All that I am, I give to you.
All that I have, I share with you.
I promise to love, cherish and respect you.
And to be faithful to you for as long as we both shall live.
b) .......... I give you this ring as a symbol of my love.
And to show that I choose you.
To be my husband/wife today and always.
c) .......... I give you this ring as a token of my love and affection.
And as a symbol of our marriage.
Please wear it as a reminder of my love for you.
Today, tomorrow and in the years to come.
d) Please choose this option if you would like to compose your own
ring words, it may be a good idea to follow the examples above,
but personalised to you.
a) No rings conclusion
b) May these rings always remind you both of the promises you
have made to each other today.
c) May these rings which, by a long tradition, form a seal to the
marriage contract, be a constant reminder to you both of the
promises you have made and an outward sign of your
commitment to each other.
Reading Option 2 (If you would like to include a reading during
your ceremony it may be included here)
Extra wishes
Choose one option if you would like the Registrar to make an
extra wish
a) No extra wishes
b) .......... and .......... have exchanged vows today both as a
legal act and as a personal commitment. From this time they go
forward as two people but sharing one life and we hope that
their love will grow and strengthen even more over the coming
years.”
c) Marriage will be the start of a new beginning, a new phase in
your life together. Your marriage calls for co-operation,
friendship and mutual respect. It also needs understanding,
patience, honesty and, of course, a sense of humour. It requires
devotion, the ability to listen, the wisdom to know when you are
wrong and the willingness and strength to put things right.
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Choices:
Choices:
Conclusion preliminary words (compulsory words)
Presentation of certificate
The Registrar will present your Marriage Certificate.
"Today will be a milestone in your lives which you can look back on
with happiness and pride. From this day may the ordinary things
you share become special and the special things great. Cherish
your love for each other, enhance the potential you have as
individuals and as a couple, and look to the future with a
commitment that grows deeper and stronger as the years pass."
Closing of the ceremony
Choose one of the following options that you would like to be
called by the Registrar at the end of the ceremony.
"Please stand. May I present:"
Conclusion
The Registrar will make a concluding statement to the ceremony
choose one option.
a) The new Mr and Mrs ..........
a) .......... and .......... you have both made the declarations that are
prescribed by law, and formed a solemn and binding contract
with each other in the presence of your guests here today. I am
delighted to declare that you are now husband and wife/legally
married.
c) Mr and Mr ..........
b) .......... and .......... you have both made the declarations that are
prescribed by law, and formed a solemn and binding contract
with each other in the presence of your guests here today. You
have sealed that contract with the giving and receiving of rings,
and you have made promises to each other of love, loyalty and
commitment. I am delighted to declare that you are now husband
and wife/legally married.
f) The newlyweds.
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b) Mr and Mrs ..........
d) Mrs and Mrs ..........
e) The happy couple.
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Choices: Readings
When considering which readings to include it may be helpful to
search ‘civil ceremony readings’ online or take a look at a small
selection of suggested readings we have chosen. We do have a
larger selection of readings available at www.marryinnorfolk.co.uk.
We will need a copy of any readings you would like to include to
be supplied with your choices along with the name of the person
who will be reading them out for you.
28. On Your Wedding Day byAnonymous
Today is a day you will always remember
The greatest in anyone’s life
You’ll start off the day just two people in love
And end it as Husband and Wife
It’s a brand new beginning the start of a journey
With moments to cherish and treasure
And although there’ll be time when you both disagree
These will surely be outweighed by pleasure
You’ll have heard many words of advice in the past
When the secrets of marriage were spoken
But you know that the answers lie hidden inside
Where the bond of true love lies unbroken
So live happy forever as lovers and friends
It’s the dawn of a new life for you
As you stand there together with love in your eyes
From the moment you whisper ‘I do’
Choices: Readings
30. Love is giving by Anonymous
Love is giving, not taking, mending,
not breaking, trusting, believing,
never deceiving,
patiently bearing and faithfully sharing
each joy, each sorrow,
today and tomorrow.
Love is kind, understanding, but never
demanding. Love is constant, prevailing,
its strength never failing.
A promise once spoken For all time
unbroken,
Love’s time is forever
26. Of Shared Love in Marriage by Victor Hugo
You can give without loving, but you can never love without
giving.
The great acts of love are done by those who are habitually
performing small acts of kindness.
We pardon to the extent that we love. Love is knowing that even
when you are alone, you
will never be lonely again.
And great happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved.
Loved for ourselves. And even loved in spite of ourselves.
And with luck, all your hopes, and your dreams can be real
May success find its way to your hearts
Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys
But today is the day it all starts
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Choices: Readings
Choices: Readings
24. Native American (Apache) Wedding Blessing
12. These I can promise by Mark Twain
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the
other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the
other.
Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion
to the other.
Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you.
May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and
through all the years.
May happiness be your companion and your days together be
good and long upon the earth.
Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind
yourselves often of what brought you together.
Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness
that your connection deserves.
When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship, as they
threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember
to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which
seems wrong.
In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face
of the sun in your lives -- remembering that even if you lose sight of
it for a moment, the sun is still there.
And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life
together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.
I cannot promise you a life of sunshine;
I cannot promise riches, wealth or gold;
I cannot promise you an easy pathway
That leads away from change or growing old.
But I can promise all my heart's devotion
A smile to chase away your tears of sorrow;
A love that's ever true and ever growing;
A hand to hold in yours through each tomorrow.
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14. Shakespeare's Sonnet 116
Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments.
Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! It is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
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Choices: Guidance for
designated photographers
Norfolk Registration Service has updated its policy on
photography at civil marriages and partnerships to make
it more flexible.
Couples should give this guidance to the person they select to
be the main (designated) photographer at their ceremony.
Choices:Suggestions
We aim to provide a quality service and if you would like to
suggest any way in which we can improve on what we do, we
would be pleased to hear from you. Please let us know by
letter or email; contact details can be found at the back of this
booklet.
The policy allows one designated photographer to take
photographs during the ceremony so long as they follow
these simple guidelines*. Registrars are responsible for the
legal proceedings and will let photographers know if a
venue calls for special arrangements.
•
avoid photographing the register– designated
photographers will have first access to a mock-up
schedule signing following the ceremony
•
agree a fixed point with the registration officer and remain
in that position, once the ceremony begins, for the
duration of the ceremony
•
ensure that only a quiet camera and no ‘flash’ is used
during the ceremony
•
we recommend that designated photographers set their
cameras to single frame low speed during the ceremony
We welcome photographers who follow this simple guidance
and work with registration staff to ensure all elements of the
ceremony are delivered as planned.
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Confirmation Details
Ceremony
Date:
Time:
Place:
__________________________
__________________________
__________________________
Paid
Owing
Date to be paid by
__________________________
__________________________
__________________________
Fees
This policy does not apply if you choose to have
your ceremony in the small Ceremony room in
the office
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Contact
The Ceremony Hub
Shirehall
Market Avenue
Norwich
NR1 3JU
Email: [email protected]