Greater Love Hath No Man
By David O’Halloran
T
his summer, during his professional-developmentsponsored travels Down Under, long-time Saint
David’s master teacher Tom McLellan visited the
Shrine of Remembrance in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.
Mr. McLellan’s emotional recollections of his visit to the
Shrine resurrected memories from my childhood. Our
school-wide theme this year is “the good,” a term culled
from the last sentence of our mission statement. How do we
come to see the good? and how do we as teachers and parents
help our children internalize the good? The answer lies not
in perceiving true good directly, but through the experiences
life affords, the connections that we build.
When I visited the Shrine of Remembrance as a child, I
did not and could not have fully understood the meaning
conveyed by its location and positioning or the significance
of its architectural detail, let alone the words etched in stone
at its center. Thirty years later, however, visiting it again
vicariously through my conversations with Tom, strong
feelings of connection were forged—to my heritage, my
family, and my childhood.
The annals of psychology and our own common sense tell
us that experiences we have in childhood, especially powerful ones charged with emotion, have a lasting effect on how
we perceive our world. During a recent visit to Saint David’s,
Dr. Edward Hallowell, noted author and psychiatrist,
spoke of this in what he referred to as “connectedness.”
Dr. Hallowell suggested that strong, positive feelings of
connection, made by children, to their parents, teachers,
and schools are the most important factors in helping
children grow to lead healthy, happy, and fulfilling lives.
In addition to these benefits, this sense of connectedness
can lead directly to the good, to morally informed decision
making and behavior. This behavior, when reduced to its
simplest form, reflects a sense of selflessness—the placing
of the needs of others ahead of one’s own.
When a child feels true connectedness to a group,
Hallowell suggests, he will not want to harm or bring
dishonor to it by doing wrong or getting into trouble.1
Instead, he will want to do his part to be a valued and
When Saint David’s is described as a happy environment,
it indicates that a sense of mutual trust has been established
and that feelings of belonging and “connectedness” are almost
palpably present.
4 • Saint David’s Magazine
respected member. This connection to the larger group also
helps to develop feelings of empathy. In part, being able to
see the world from the perspective of others is essential to
an underlying sense of what is right. Morality stems from
this desire to do what is right. Examples of connectedness
abound at Saint David’s, and their existence is not so much
due to chance as it is to design.
Recently, a colleague visiting Saint David’s observed of the
lunchroom, “It is such a happy place.” In reflecting further
on his observations, the visitor noted that he did not witness
the teasing or mocking that is typically seen in similar agegroup settings. Instead, he saw adults and children sitting
together around the table, sharing the meal; conversation was
meaningful. Manners were modeled and observed, and there
was an underlying foundation of mutual respect evident, not
only amongst the boys, but also between the boys and their
teachers. It was natural and relaxed, he observed, right down
to the “ . . . First grader with the big milk mustache, wiping
his mouth on his sleeve; there was a special spirit present.”
The presence of this special spirit—interconnectedness—
pervades the very halls of Saint David’s. It’s what defines
the essence of our school.
What intrigued me most about the visitor’s observation,
however, wasn’t his identification of the “special spirit”;
it was rather his use of the word “happy” in describing it.
“Happy” suggests a balance; a sense that things are good
and that life is moving along as it should. “Happy” implies
the boys are comfortable in their surroundings, that they
feel safe, emotionally and physically, and supported by each
other and their teachers. “Happy” also indicates that a sense
of mutual trust has been established and that feelings of
belonging and “connectedness” are almost palpably present.
To complement this lunchroom observation, another
recent visitor to the school, working this time directly with
the faculty, commented similarly, noting the professional
passion and mutual respect shared by the faculty for each
other, their work, and the boys. “The mission,” she said, “is
embraced by everybody; it’s a very special place!” The observer felt that what she saw was quite unique and refreshing.
The professional atmosphere of Saint David’s is singularly
focused on the mission and on working together to bring
that mission to fulfillment. That doesn’t mean there are not
days when the “moons don’t align.” Saint David’s is a place
with a multiplicity of people, opinions, learning styles, and
interests; it’s a complex human system. However, the clear
mission embraced by all within the community makes the
more difficult times less frequent and shorter in duration.
Saint David’s may be complex, but because of this clarity of
purpose, it’s not complicated. The mission, its clear articulation and its sound acceptance by all, supplies a scaffolding
on which these feelings of connectedness can be effectively
and successfully cultivated.
The connectedness which two visitors independently
observed did not occur by accident. It is implied and openly
stated in our curriculum; teachers, administrators, and
parents share in the values and virtues needed to teach and
internalize the good found here. We purposefully and deliberately teach the skills necessary and provide the experiences
essential to reinforce connected relationships. The Third
Grade Immigration Unit with its mock Ellis Island role-play
is one such curricular illustration. A fitting analogy for the
boys as they begin their transition from the Lower School
to the Upper School and for us as we transition from one
century to the next, this new history program centers on
New York City as a gateway from the old world to the new.2
In this unit of study, boys examine early 20th century
immigration and its impact on our city, state, and nation.
“Just as important as understanding the causes for immigration and the related issues, the unit aims to help the boys
understand what it must have felt like to be an immigrant
at the turn of the century,” noted Third Grade Teacher
Anna-Bain Ladt, one of the designers of this unit. “We
wanted to create a unit that not only provided basic factual
knowledge and furthered the development of reading and
writing skills; but one that engaged the boys’ attitudes and
beliefs as citizens of a democracy.”
To help the boys make the connection, one learning activity within the unit has the boys receive a profile of an immigrant coming to the United States and asks him to role-play
with his teachers the immigrant’s interview experience upon
arrival at Ellis Island. Teachers, acting as various immigration processors, (e.g., health, background, education, and
job processors), interview the boys. Some “immigrants” are
accepted while others are not deemed worthy and are conse-
They explore how individuals and groups were either
pushed or pulled to America, depending upon various
socio-economic and political circumstances and variables. Using this simple, instructive analogy, teachers
develop lessons that are broad yet perceptive, as well
as developmentally appropriate. The unit integrates
skills from several disciplines, accommodates multiple
intelligences, and helps students recognize and value
differences and similarities among people. 3
One of the unit’s major goals is to emphasize the personal
experience of immigrants. This provides the boys an opportunity to empathize. In addition to dates and national
events, teaching the history of immigration also raises the
important issues of poverty, religious discrimination, and
political persecution.
Saint David’s deliberately teaches the skills needed to reinforce
connectedness; examples include small group reading activities,
participation in community service projects as a group, overnight
trips, and countless traditions that transcend generations.
Winter 2010 • 5
quently detained for deportation. Through this exercise, the
boys actually experience what an immigrant experienced and
a genuine connection results. Upon reflection, Third Grade
Teacher Amanda Mattei commented, “This activity supports
all kinds of learners; the boys have to dramatize, write, and
verbally respond to questions. After the activity, the boys
articulate what an immigrant really feels as they are being
processed through Ellis Island. They often mention how really
brave the immigrants had to have been to enter a new world.”
One of the texts used, Immigrant Kids by Russell Freedman, details what daily life was like for the immigrant chil-
“ . . . we are often so focused
on getting to the answer that
we spend insufficient time
making sure children
understand the question . . . ”
dren of New York’s Lower East Side in the 1900s. Using this
text further helps the boys identify with the immigrant experience. When this text is combined with group field trips to
Ellis Island and the Lower East Side Tenement Museum, the
mock Ellis Island role-play, and reflective journal writing,
it becomes a powerful and memorable learning experience.
Important both for boys’ sense of well-being and success
in general are the skills of collaboration, interpersonal relationship building, appreciation of difference, and empathy,
all of which are encompassed in this study unit. In writing
about skills essential for the 21st century, Howard Gardner
identifies the need for educators and parents to cultivate and
develop the “Respectful Mind” and the “Ethical Mind.”4
Programs such as the immigration unit directly address these
essential modes of thinking and the skills associated with
each in highly tangible and meaningful ways.
As teachers and parents, we are often so focused on getting to the answer that we spend insufficient time making
sure children understand the question and appreciate its
significance. The immigration unit begins with a series of
important questions that are discussed and examined up
front. Having boys work through experiences that help
them understand the question and connect to the subject
matter, forces them to think about it. Hearing and seeing it
are not enough; children, especially boys, have to interact
and experience it. Recent work in the field of cognitive
science suggests that in order to get children to remember
something, we have to get them to think about what it
means; it must reside in working memory for a time. People
remember what they think about. Memory, it is said, is the
residue of thought—our goal should be to get children to
always think about the meaning. The ultimate goal then is
not simply to have children gain knowledge—it’s to have
6 • Saint David’s Magazine
them gain knowledge in service of effective thought—to
connect and understand.
The following quote from one boy’s journal, in which he
reflected upon the difficulties immigrants often faced finding
jobs, demonstrates this thinking: “Some American citizens
would not want immigrants to come to America to work
because they were willing to work for less money. I think
the laws about jobs were unfair because the immigrants were
giving everything they had to come to America and it would
all be wasted if they had to go home.”
This type of reflective journaling (writing being the ultimate expression of thought) also encourages boys to step
into the shoes of the immigrants and to try to understand
and appreciate their experience and perspective. This study
aims to facilitate the boys’ appreciation for people who come
from diverse backgrounds, the challenges they face, and the
important contributions that everyone can make to society.
The immigration unit culminates with a series of Family
Heritage Projects, in which the boys investigate their own
family immigrant history and share their research with their
classmates and teachers, thereby connecting the immigrant
experience at the turn of the last century with their own family history and their lives today. In so doing, the boys come
to see the many similarities and differences in culture, history, and experience they and members of their families have
with others. Powerful feelings of connection are developed
while an important portion of American history is learned.
Collaboration, teamwork, and the development of the
respectful mind and ethical mind, require working in teams,
sharing communication of concepts, experiences and histories, and the building of agreement and consensus. It is
based upon developing finely tuned skills associated with
interpersonal relationship building. Respectful, moral, and
ethical behavior demands a level of awareness that is sensitive to, and appreciative of difference.5 Teaching children
to think broadly, to question critically, to employ a level
of sensitivity and empathy are now essential skills, not just
for the 21st century, but as means to help us find the good.
The Third Grade Immigration Unit, our family-style
lunch format, and our collaborative approach to curriculum
planning and development, are just a few examples of the
many explicit and purposeful ways that Saint David’s is
teaching connection and connectedness. Even with a strong
sense of connectedness, seeing or choosing the good, the
morally right thing is not always easy. Understanding, appreciating, and accepting differences in ethnicity, religious
beliefs, customs, and traditions; coming to terms with strong
differences of opinion, ingrained methods or prejudices, immoral but socially accepted or mandated practice; not joining
the teasers or not being complicit in the bullying of a peer,
can seem almost impossible challenges. Benjamin Franklin
tells in his autobiography the story of a man who, in buying
an ax from a blacksmith, desired to have the whole of the
ax’s surface be as bright as the edge.6 The blacksmith agreed
to grind it down bright for him if he would turn the wheel.
So, the man turned while the smith pressed the face of the
ax against the stone. It was hard work. The man came over
every now and then from turning the wheel to see how the
work was coming along; before long, the man said he’d take
the ax as it was, without further grinding. “No,” said the
smith, “turn on, turn on; we shall have it bright by-and-by;
as yet it is only speckled.” “Yes,” said the man, “but I think
I like a speckled ax best.” Even though the want is there,
and all the other pieces may be in place, the difficulty lies in
sustaining the patience, the will, and the strength necessary
to achieve the good; we can easily give up the struggle, and
settle for something less.
Unfortunately, our popular culture often celebrates or at
the least highlights in a seemingly endless stream of reporting,
examples of the failures of famous sportsmen, actors, executives, or politicians at the height of their chosen careers; they
are like William Golding’s character, Ralph, in Lord of the
Flies, who despite the best intentions ultimately yield to an
easier, not so virtuous path. Schools like Saint David’s are the
antidote, providing and celebrating the times and the people
who don’t yield, but stay strong and aspire to the good by ensuring the creation of those strong feelings of connectedness.
On a hill at the intersection of Anzac Avenue and St. Kilda
Road in the City of Melbourne, Victoria, I stood as a child
and witnessed the bowing of heads around the sacred stone at
the center of the Shrine of Remembrance. Etched in this stone
block, beneath the surface of the floor are the words “Greater
love hath no man.”7 Architecturally, it’s a beautiful and moving
monument. The inspiration for its external outline comes from
one of the seven wonders of the ancient world: the mausoleum
at Halicarnassus to King Mausolus of Caria in South West
Asia Minor, constructed around 353 b.c. Built in the style of an
ancient Greek temple, Doric columns grace the Shrine’s façade
and coffered ceilings its interior. Following ancient tradition, all
vertical lines have a double inclination, and if projected would
meet at a point 2.25 km above the Shrine’s floor. Every aspect
has a purpose and every architectural detail a meaning, including
its placement. The location of the memorial was chosen for its
high elevation and steepness, allowing its silhouette to stand out
against the skyline and be seen from all corners of the Victorian
capital, and yet remain somewhat removed, sacred.
What makes this memorial so powerful and moving however,
isn’t its location or architectural detail, both of which are significant and carefully orchestrated to reflect and memorialize
its purpose,8 but more what happens at one particular minute,
on one particular day each year. On the 11th hour of the 11th
day of the 11th month,9 the rays of the sun’s light, through a
precisely positioned oculus in the ceiling high above, illuminate
specifically and precisely the word “love.” The remainder of the
phrase, not etched in the stone can be found in John 15:13 and
it speaks of the giving of one’s life for one’s brother—perhaps
one of the greatest examples of selflessness. Men and women
like those memorialized at the Shrine made this sacrifice. Those
of us who have not given so much, and may never choose to or
be called upon to give so much, can however learn from them.
Socrates once perceptively noted that the greatest good of man
is to converse daily about virtue. Schools like Saint David’s are
places where this happens—education is the pathway to the good
and it’s our strong feelings of connectedness with entities and
groups larger than ourselves that help us aspire to get there. !
David O’Halloran is Headmaster of Saint David’s School.
Notes
1. Edward M. Hallowell, The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness (New York: Ballantine Books, 2000).
2. The Curriculum Initiative, begun six years ago, is now at
its fifth stage of implementation. The Faculty is currently working on the “How” questions: How do we know our boys “understand” what they are learning? and How do we know our teaching is effective? At this stage of the school’s work, we are adapting
a model developed by Project Zero at Harvard University, entitled Teaching for Understanding.
3. Anna-Bain Ladt, “Citizens of Democracy,” Saint David’s
Magazine, Summer 2009.
4. Howard Gardner, Five Minds for the Future (Boston: Harvard Business School Press, 2007).
5. Learning to appreciate and understand difference is an area
of our work at Saint David’s that remains an important goal. The
world our boys will enter, as independent adults, will require a
level of comfort in, appreciation for, and understanding of diversity that has yet to be fully realized.
6. Benjamin Franklin, His Autobiography, in The Harvard
Classics, Vol. 1, Ed. Charles W. Eliot (New York: P. F. Collier &
Son, 1909–1914).
7. The stone is sunken for two reasons: first, so that no hands
may touch it, and second, that all heads must bow in reverence to
read its inscription.
8. The Shrine of Remembrance was built by the people of Victoria between July 1928 and November 1934 in remembrance of
the 114,000 men and women of Victoria, Australia, who served
and those who died in the Great War of 1914–1918, and all conflicts since.
9. The 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month commemorates the armistice agreement signed at Compiègne, France, for
the cessation of hostilities on the Western Front. It took effect at
eleven o’clock in the morning on November 11, 1918. It marked, it
was said, the end of the war to end all wars.
Left: The Shrine of Remembrance in Melbourne, Victoria,
Australia.
Winter 2010 • 7