CENTRAL COAST
GANGSHOW
2002
Name:_________________________________
Cast No.:________
Patrol:___________
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Act 1
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Item
No.
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10
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14
15
16
Item
Your Part
Getting Ready
Get Ready For This
Going Going Gone 1
No Saints
The Birds & Bowlines
Mary Poppins
Trainspotting
7 Little Sorcerers
Antarctica
Stomp
Going Going Gone 2
Rapunzel
Make Friends With People
Fly Boys
Cooking By numbers
Gilbert & Sullivan
Trilogy
Some important things to remember
Tickets:
All cast members are required to sell at least 20 tickets to the show. Please
convince all of your relatives, friends, family, neighbours and everyone you see from
now to July to buy a ticket to the show. Remember there is a prize for the highest ticket
seller and the competition is usually hot.
Shoes:
All cast members are required to have a black pair of sandshoes to wear in
the show. These can be bought inexpensively at shops like Big W or Target. You can
also find them in second hand shops. They must be plain shoes that are all black and
easy to change in and out of quickly.
2
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Act 2
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Item
No.
17
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24
25
26
27
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29
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Item
Your Part
Still Not Ready
Stop The Rock
30 Seconds
No Sub For Qual Scouting
Break And Enter
Lean On Me
Scene In Green
Mere Males
Going Going Gone 3
Survivor 6: Wombat Patrol
Grand Central Station
Ballet For Males
All My Loving
Finale
More important things to remember
Gangshow is all about having fun whilst doing your best in order to put on the
best show possible in July. In order to do this, we try to keep the number of problems
and dramas to a minimum.
If you do have some kind of problem that cannot be resolved, in the first
instance, please speak to a member of the Production Team in rehearsal time. Everyone
is very friendly and we will do whatever we can to help you out.
However if this is not possible, or if you can not make it to rehearsal please
phone and leave a message if necessary It is important to know who is coming to
rehearsal each week. Remember that Jan has a life outside Gangshow, so please only
ring if it is important.
If there is a problem relating your part with the show, and once again, this cannot
be resolved at rehearsal, please phone Warren. Please remember that Warren also has a
life outside Gangshow.
JAN
4324 6574
WARREN 4324 1098
3
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Rehearsal Schedule
Date
Place
Time
Sunday 3 March
Sunday 10 March
Sunday 17 March
Sunday 24 March
Sunday 7 April
Saturday 13 April
Sunday 14 April
Sunday 21 April
Sunday 28 April
Sunday 5 May
Sunday 12 May
Sunday 19 May
Sunday 26 May
Sunday 2 June
Monday 10 June
Saturday 15 June
Sunday 16 June
Sunday 23 June
Sunday 30 June
Sunday 7 July
Sunday 14 July
Monday 15 July
Wednesday 17 July
Thursday 18 July
Friday 19 July
Saturday 20 July
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
Camp Kariong
Camp Kariong
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
Camp Kariong
Camp Kariong
East Gosford
Camp Kariong
East Gosford
Laycock St
Laycock St
Laycock St
Laycock St
Laycock St
Laycock St
4-7pm
4-7pm
4-7pm
9.30am - 4pm
4-7pm
9am Start
3pm Finish
4-7pm
4-7pm
9.30am - 4pm
4-7pm
4 -7pm
9.30am - 4pm
4-7pm
4-7pm
9.00am - 4pm
9.00am - 4pm
4-7pm
9am - 4pm
4-7pm
11am - 8pm
6pm - 10.30pm
6.30pm - 11pm
6.30pm - 11pm
6.30pm - 11pm
12.30pm-11.30pm
Early
Cast
* Full Cast are required on all rehearsal days.
* Full attendance is expected at all rehearsals.
* If you cannot attend a rehearsal for any reason please let us know.
* Attendance is compulsory at the Camp in April and all rehearsals from June 2
onwards. Non attendance at these rehearsals may endanger your role in the show.
* Special rehearsals are held before each 4-7pm Sunday rehearsal at East Gosford.
Cast required are noted above.
* T.B.A. - cast to be advised of attendance requirements for these days.
* Please be aware that special rehearsals may be called at any time for any or all cast
members. These will usually be held before 4-7pm rehearsals at East Gosford - as
much early notice as possible will be given.
4
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Duty Patrol Roster
Date
Place
Time
Sunday 3 March
Sunday 10 March
Sunday 17 March
Sunday 24 March
Sunday 7 April
Saturday 13 April
Sunday 14 April
Sunday 21 April
Sunday 28 April
Sunday 5 May
Sunday 12 May
Sunday 19 May
Sunday 26 May
Sunday 2 June
Monday 10 June
Saturday 15 June
Sunday 16 June
Sunday 23 June
Sunday 30 June
Sunday 7 July
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
Camp Kariong
Camp Kariong
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
East Gosford
Camp Kariong
Camp Kariong
East Gosford
Camp Kariong
East Gosford
4-7pm
4-7pm
4-7pm
9.30am - 4pm
4-7pm
9am Start
3pm Finish
4-7pm
4-7pm
9.30am - 4pm
4-7pm
4 -7pm
9.30am - 4pm
4-7pm
4-7pm
9.00am - 4pm
9.00am - 4pm
4-7pm
9am - 4pm
4-7pm
Patrol
Jobs & Information for Duty Patrols
* A different patrol is rostered on for each rehearsal with more at Camp Kariong.
* Please let your parents know when you are duty patrol so that you be a few minutes
early, and let them know that you will be about 10 minutes later.
* It is not only the Patrol Leaders responsibility to ensure that the patrol finishes all of
the jobs. All members of the patrol must participate - it gets the job done quicker.
* It is the Patrol Leaders responsibility to run parade and break the flag - please give
them as much respect as you give the members of the Production Team. It is not easy
to stand up in front of everyone at rehearsal.
* East Gosford
- Be early to put up flag and get piano out of cupboard
- Run parade
- After rehearsal sweep the floor, take down the flag and put the piano away
* Camp Kariong
- Be early to put up flag
- Run Parade
- After rehearsal sweep the floor
- Weekend Camp - Toilets/Showers need to be cleaned (In addition to above)
- All Day rehearsals - costume rooms also need to be vacuumed
5
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Words for items must be learnt by the following dates
Getting Ready
Get Ready for This
No Saints
Birds & Bowlines
Mary Poppins
Trainspotting
7 Little Sorcerers
Antarctica
Stomp
Rapunzel
Make Friends With People
Fly Boys
Cooking By Numbers
Gilbert & Sullivan
Still Not Ready
Stop The Rock
30 Seconds
No Sub For Qual Scouting
Break And Enter
Lean On Me
Scene In Green
Mere Males
Going Going Gone
Survivor 6
Grand Central Station
Ballet For Males
All My Loving
Finale
Sunday 7 April
Sunday 7 April
Sunday 7 April
Sunday 5 May
Sunday 5 May
Sunday 5 May
Saturday 13 April
Saturday 13 April
Saturday 13 April
Sunday 21 April
Sunday 21 April
Sunday 12 May
Sunday 12 May
Sunday 12 May
Sunday 12 May
Sunday 12 May
Sunday 12 May
Sunday 12 May
Sunday 12 May
Sunday 19 May
Sunday 19 May
Sunday 19 May
Sunday 26 May
Sunday 26 May
Sunday 26 May
Sunday 26 May
Saturday 15 June
Saturday 15 June
All words must be learnt by Saturday June 15
No Scripts!!!
No Excuses!!
6
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
GETTING READY
Central Coast Gangshow
Lights blackout after overture. Abseil ropes thrown over on both sides. Spot OP side FOT, as
person 1 abseils half way down on Op and stops.
PERSON 1:
(Half way down rope in darkness) Hello and welcome to Central Coast Gangshow
2002. (Pause) Um excuse me, Mr Spotlight, I'm over here. (Spot moves around on
FOT) Across further, further, further, bit more, that's it, now up a bit, up, up, up. (Spot
finally finds person) I’ll start again. Hello, and welcome to Central Coast Gangshow
2002. My job is to warm you up, and get you ready for a night of fun. Are you ready?
PERSON 2:
(As person 1 speaks, person 2 abseils half way down on P side in darkness) Am I
ready for what?
PERSON 1:
Who are you? And where are you? (The other spot comes on and tries to find him)
PERSON 2:
(Speaking to Spotlight operator) I'm over here. Across, further, further, further, bit
more, that's it, now up a bit, up, up up. (Spot finally hits them - says with a big
smile) Hello!
PERSON 1:
What are you doing here - I was supposed to introduce the show, not you. Remember!
PERSON 2:
I know, but I was backstage and I thought you might be lonely out here by yourself so here I am. Since I'm already here, how about I just hang out …… and I promise not
to annoy you.
PERSON 1:
(To audience) I find that hard to believe. OK OK just keep quiet. Now, where was I?
Ah yes? I was asking if you were ready. Are you ready?
PERSON 2:
Am I ready for what?????? Oopppsss. Sorry.
PERSON 1: Look, this is not a double act, get down from there and be quiet. (Person 2 abseils to
floor, unhooks and walk to centre. Starts to talk to and wave to the audience and soak up
attention)
PERSON 1: Don't make me come down there…….. (Person 2 makes funny faces at audience
and acts all smart) OK. I'm coming down. (Abseils down and walks to centre)
PERSON 2:
(To audience) I'm so scared.
PERSON 1:
That's it - I'm only going to ask one more time. Are you ready?
PERSON 2:
Ready for what???????
PERSON 1: This!! (Grabs 2 by the hair, pulls close, brings knee up into 2s head. 2 stumbles
back disoriented and swaying around) I knew you weren't ready. Now go!!!! (2 wanders across
front of theatre and leaves) Now that we have gotten rid of him - you had better take my advice as
well, you saw what happened when he wasn't ready. My advice to you is …. You had better ….
(Huge big intro) GET READY FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Quickly runs out as music
starts and curtain comes up)
7
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
GET READY FOR THIS
2 Unlimited
8
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
GOING GOING GONE 1
Adapted from Adelaide Gangshow
Martha is sitting in the rocking chair slightly P side of centre. Arthur is also in a rocking chair
slightly OP of Martha. The fireplace is slightly OP of centre. Martha is rocking away in the
chair, knitting on her lap.
MARTHA:
Arthur ……. You told me you were going to change the outside lights today ….
ARTHUR:
Yes dear …..
MARTHA:
I don't know why we don't get a maintenance man. Ethyl has one, and a gardener. She
says it is so easy and doesn't cost a lot.
ARTHUR:
Yes dear.
MARTHA:
Margery has someone in too … She says life is too short to waste time waiting for
these things to happen. I've been waiting for things to happen for years.
ARTHUR:
Yes dear.
The fireplace starts to roll away to OP side.
MARTHA:
Arthur … The fire's going out!
Pause as fire rolls off. A second look at the fireplace and then back to audience.
ARTHUR:
Yes dear.
Blackout
9
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
NO SAINTS
Adapted by Central Coast Gangshow
Scene two Doctors and a nurse are hunched over a bed
DOCTOR 1: No not the funny bone its water on the knee.
NURSE 1:
Are you sure doctor?
DOCTOR 2: What about the larynx?
DOCTOR 1: Well lets start with the wish bone and see how we go.
SFX
BUZZZZZZZZZZZ
DOCTOR 2: DAMN!!!!!!
NURSE 2:
Look if your going to use language like that I’m taking my game of operation home.
DOCTOR 1: Oh well I think we’re ready for the real thing now anyway.
Voice Over: Dr Seuss your green eggs and ham are ready in the cafeteria. Dr Seuss please report to
the cafeteria.
Two doctors walk away from the bed in the operating room which is very bare whilst two
nurses rush around putting the doctors gowns on.
DOCTOR 1: A bit bare in here today.
DOCTOR 2: Yes.
DOCTOR 1: Yes! More apparatus please nurse. The EEG the BP monitor and the ABV. STAT.
NURSE 1:
Yes Doctor.
DOCTOR 2: And get the machine that goes BING.
DOCTOR 1: And get the most expensive machines in case the administrator comes.
Nurses wheel in machines and patient, but leaves patient on side of stage.
DOCTOR 2: Yes bring it in that’s it……… just behind there.
DOCTOR 1: Lovely, lovely that’s much better. Still something missing though.
BOTH:
Hmmmmm…..PATIENT!
DOCTOR 2: Where’s the patient has anyone seen the patient?
NURSE 2:
He is over there.
10
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
DOCTOR 1: Well bring him over here.
DOCTOR 2: Mind the machines.
NURSE 2:
Sorry Doctor.
DOCTOR 1: Now don’t you worry well soon have you cured.
DOCTOR 2: Leave it all to us.
PATIENT:
What do I do?
DOCTOR 1: Pardon?
PATIENT:
What do I do?
DOCTOR 2: Nothing you're not qualified (Wheeling over the machine that goes bing)
PATIENT:
What’s that for?
DOCTOR 1: That’s the machine that goes BING it tells us you're still alive.
DOCTOR 2: And that’s the most expensive machine in the hospital.
DOCTOR 1: So aren’t you the lucky patient.
DOCTOR 2: Right someone give me a history on this patient.
SFX
This is your life music plays and Mike Munroe walks into a spot light.
MIKE
Well, he was born in 1971 and went to school at Henry Kendall where he continued
until dropping out in year ten only to rejoin two days later after a clip across the back
of his head from his old man.
DOCTOR 2: No No No I mean his medical history. (Mike walks out)
NURSE 2:
Sorry Doctor he has a minor abrasion to his left calf.
DOCTOR 1: He has a baby cow…???
NURSE 1:
No Doctor he has a scratched leg.
DOCTORS:
Ohhhh.
Voiceover
Dr Zchivago, paging Dr Zchivago, there is an Omar Shariff on line Z.
(Anesthetist walks in)
DOCTOR 1: Who are you?
ANESTHETIST:I’m the ane… aneth… I’m the Drug Dealer.
11
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
DOCTORS:
Security (Security rushes in and drags anesthetist off)
DOCTOR 2: Right lets get started Nurse gas the patient turn everything on.
DOCTOR 1: Eyes down for a full house.
DOCTOR 2: And here we go.
Voice Over
Dr No Wanted in room 007. Dr no Room 007.
(Operation continues)
DOCTOR 1: Did anyone see the rerun of GP last night?
NURSE 1:
No I taped it , I watched RPA.
NURSE 2:
ER was good, but I missed the others. I was at the ANZ and my card got stuck in the
ATM.
DOCTOR 2: Yeah ? I was at the ABC in the QVB, and then went to KFC for T.
NURSE 1:
BYO?
DOCTOR 2: No, but I had a VB, got caught DUI on the F3 by the RBT, and fined by the RTA.
NURSE 2:
What about your BMW? (To Doctor 1) didn’t it break down?
DOCTOR 1: It’s OK, SMS’ed the NRMA 4 HELP, came ASAP, E.Z.
NURSE 2:
OK!
SFX
SMS message Nokia
(all reach for mobiles)
DOCTOR 2: Its Mine, (Reads message) anyone up for sushi? My stocks just went up 10 points….
ALL:
Yes / I’m in / Me too.
VOICEOVER:Attention staff. The parking police are in the vicinity. We advise all car owners to fill
their meters or move their cars.
(Doctor puts phone down on patient and checks his pockets, muttering)
DOCTOR 2: (To others) Have you guys got change?
NURSE 1:
What about the patient?
DOCTOR 2: Good idea! Check his pockets.
(Doctor walks into other room stopped by parents)
MUM:
Hows he doing? (Hysterical)
12
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
DOCTOR 2: Fine, fine, nothing to worry about.
SFX:
Flatlining noise from machine
(Meanwhile patient is flatlining and the others are trying to revive him)
DOCTOR 2: Reflexes are back to normal.
(Patient goes into convulsions)
DOCTOR 2: He should have his voice back by tomorrow.
(Patient screams as nurse applies mask)
MUM:
Oh that’s great doc. I hope he didn’t hurt any of the staff.
(Patient strangling other doctor)
DOCTOR 1: Sedate him quick.
(Nurse 1 whacks patient on head with big mallet)
DOCTOR 1: Ok…… Lets sew him back up then its off for lunch.
VOICEOVER:Paging Dr Drake Remoray, Dr Drake Remoray could you return to theatre 14 to
finish your operation.
DOCTOR 2: (Returning to the room) Has anyone seen my phone?
SFX:
Nokia SMS tone but muffled.
ALL:
BUGGER!!
Blackout
13
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
THE BIRDS & THE BOWLINES
Nick Browne & Andrew Taylor
Kid is seen doing homework. Skip enters.
KID:
Hello, Skip
SKIP:
It's all right, we're alone. You can call me dad.
KID:
What do you want, dad?
SKIP:
Well, son. There comes a time in the life of every Assistant Patrol Leader when his
father takes him aside and they have a little chinwag about the facts of life.
KID:
Sure dad, what do you want to know?
SKIP:
Well, perhaps I can best explain by comparing your mother and me to a sheet bend.
KID:
Isn't that the knot used to join two ropes of unequal thickness?
SKIP:
Exactly (He takes out two appropriately unequal ropes from his pocket) Now, this
thick rope is your mother. And this thin rope is me.
KID:
Right.
SKIP:
Do you understand so far?
KID:
Sure. The rabbit goes …..
SKIP:
How dare you use language like that!
KID:
Sorry dad. That's the bowline, isn't it?
SKIP:
And don't you forget it. Son, what I'm trying to say is …. You know how your mother
and I told you that we found you in a billy in the Q store? Well, that wasn't quite true.
KID:
You lied!!! But … but … Dad, a Scout's honour is to be trusted.
SKIP:
That's why I'm a Scout Leader, son.
KID:
But, Dad!
SKIP:
Life isn't all Jamborees and diagonal lashings, son.
KID:
What do you mean , Dad?
SKIP:
Life isn't that simple. There's so much to be careful of …. Wet pits and dry pits,
lashings and whipping, the ……
KID:
Dad, you were telling me where I came from.
14
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
SKIP:
Oh, yes…….. yes. Making a baby is a bit like pitching a tent. First you tie the knot,
then you … er …
KID:
Dig the trenches?
SKIP:
I don't think you quite get the idea. Now, if your patrol gets together and plans and
works hard, after a few months, what happens?
KID:
We get our Scoutcraft badge.
SKIP:
Exactly. And you're our little Scoutcraft badge.
KID:
I am?
SKIP:
Our very own little Patrol Activity.
KID:
Gee, thanks, Dad …… I think.
SKIP:
I realise this must come as a hell of a shock to you, that we didn't find you in a billy in
the Q store.
KID:
You mean ….. ?
SKIP:
That's right, son. The stork brought you.
15
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
MARY POPPINS
All words & Music by:
Richard M. Sherman & Robert B. Sherman
CHIM CHIM CHER-EE
A
Introduction
B
Prologue Bert
Room ‘ere for everyone, gather around;
The constanble’s responstable! Now, ‘ow does that sound?
Ullo, Miss Lark, I’ve got one for you:
Miss Lark loves to “wark” in the park with Andrew!
Ah, Missus Corey, a story for you:
Your daughters were shorter than you, but they grew!
Dear Miss Persimmon-(pause)- winds in the east- theres a mist coming in,
Like something is brewing and ‘bout to begin.
Cant’t put my finger on what lies in store,
But I feel what’s to ‘happen all ‘appened before.
A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR
C
Introduction
D
Mary
In ev-’ry job that must be done
There is an element of fun;
You find the fun and snap!
The jobs a game
E
And ev-’ry task you undertake
Becomes a piece of cake,
A lark! A spree!
It’s very clear to see
F
That a
Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go dow-wown
Medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way
G
A robin feathering his nest
Has very little time to rest
While gathering his
Bits of twine and twig
H
Though quite intent in his pursuit
He has a merry tune to toot
He knows a song
Will move the job along
16
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
I
Mary and Children
For a
Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go dow-wown
Medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way
J
Dialogue
MARY:
Mary Poppins, Practically Perfect in every way
K
Introduction
L
Bert
Ain’t it a glorious day?
Right as a mornin’ in May
I feel like I could Fly
‘Ave you ever seen
The grass so green?
Or a bluer sky?
M
Oh, it’s a jolly 'oliday with Mary
Mary makes your ‘eart so light (You haven’t changed a bit)
When the day is gray
And ordinary
Mary makes the sun shine bright! (oh, Honestly)
N
Penguins and Bert
Oh ’appiness is bloomin’
All around ‘er
The daffoldils are smilin’
At the dove
O
Bert
When Mary ‘olds your ‘and
You feel so grand
Your ‘eart starts beatin’
Like a big brass band
Penguins and Bert
Oh, it’s a jolly 'oliday with Mary
No wonder that it’s Mary that we love!
JOLLY HOLIDAY
P
Q
Mary
Now then, what’d be nice
We’ll start with raspberry ice
And then some cakes and tea
R
Penguins
Order what you will
17
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
There’ll be no bill
It’s complimentary
S
Dialogue
MARY:
Your very kind!
PENGUINS: Anything for you Mary Poppins
T
Penguins and Bert
Oh, it’s a jolly 'oliday with Mary
Mary makes your ‘eart so light
When the day is gray
And ordinary
Mary makes the sun shine bright!
U
Oh ’appiness is bloomin’
All around ‘er
The daffoldils are smilin’
At the dove
When Mary ‘olds your ‘and
You feel so grand
Your ‘eart starts beatin’
Like a big brass band
Oh, it’s a jolly 'oliday with Mary
No wonder that it’s Mary that we love!
SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS
V
Introduction
W
Mary
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Even though the sound of it
Is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough
You’ll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
X
All
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Solo One
So when the cat has got your tounge
Theres no need for dismay
Just summon up this word
And then you’ve got alot to say
Solo Two
But better use it carefully
Or it may change your life
One night I said it to me girl
Y
Z
18
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
And now me girl’s me wife
AA
All
She's
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Even though the sound of it
Is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough
You’ll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
CHIM CHIM CHER-EE
BB
Introduction
CC
Sweeps
Chim Chiminey
Chim Chiminey
Chim Chim cher-ee!
A sweep is as lucky
As lucky can be
DD
Chim Chiminey
Chim Chiminey
Chim Chim cher-oo!
Good luck will rub off when
I shake ‘ands with you
Or blow me a kiss
And that’s lucky too
EE
Now as the ladder of life
‘As been strung
You may think a sweep’s
On the bottom most rung
FF
Though I spends me time
In the ashes and smoke
In this’ole wide world
There’s no ‘appier bloke
GG
Bert
Up where the smoke is
All bildered and curled
‘Tween pavement and stars
Is the chimney sweep world
HH
When there’s ‘ardly no day
Nor ‘ardly no night
There’s things ‘alf in shadow
And ‘alf way in light
On the roof tops of London
Coo, what a sight!
19
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
II
All Sweeps and Bert
Chim Chiminey
Chim Chiminey
Chim Chim cher-ee!
When you’re with a sweep
You’re in glad company
JJ
No where is there
A more ‘appier crew
Than them wot sings
Chim Chim cher-ee
Chim cher-oo!
Chim chiminey
chim chim cher-ee
chim cher-oo
KK
Dialogue
SWEEP 1 :
SWEEP 2:
SWEEP 3:
Cher-oo Cher-ee
Cher-oo
Cher-ee
BERT
: It’s all me pals, Step in Time!
STEP IN TIME
LL
Introduction
MM
ALL
Kick your knees up
Step in time !
Kick your knees up
Step in time !
Never need a reason
Never need a rhyme
Kick your knees up
Step in time !
NN
Spin about and
Step in time!
Spin about and
Step in time!
Never need a reason
Never need a rhyme
Spin about and
Step in time!
OO
Dance Break (One chorus)
PP
Step in time
Step in time!
Step in time
20
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Step in time!
Never need a reason
Never need a rhyme
When you
Step in time!
You step in time!
LET'S GO FLY A KITE
QQ
Introduction
RR
Mr and Mrs Banks
With tup-pence for paper and strings
You can have your own set of wings;
With your feet on the ground, you’re a bird in flight
With your fist holding tight
To the string of your kite - oh!
SS
Banks Family and Housekeepers
Let’s Go fly a kite
Up to the highest height
Let’s go fly a kite
And send it soaring
TT
Up through the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear
Oh, let’s go fly a kite
UU
Dialogue
BERT:
Goodbye Mary Poppins, Don’t Stay away too long !
VV
All
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Even though the sound of it
Is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough
you’ll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
WW
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Even though the sound of it
Is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough
you’ll always sound precocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
XX
Playout
21
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
TRAINSPOTTING
Concept Tony Dale & Hornsby Gangshow - Adapted by Central Coast Gangshow
A train carriage. Tim and Debbie enter through the sliding doors of the carriage into the
surrealists train. They are pursued as different and ridiculed by the other surreal passengers.
Weird things begin to happen which get more bizarre.
General movement on train. On stage are: Drummer, Agreer, One Mobile buddy, Tim and
Debbie enter through the train doors. Drummer is sitting on the OP seats tapping away. Agreer
is eagerly looking around the carriage smiling to himself. The mobilers are busy with work
stuff.
DEBBIE:
(Entering) So I went out to him and then …..
TIM:
(Unsure) Are you sure this is the right train? (Looks around the train)
DEBBIE:
(Unsure) It says so on the timetable so …. I guess it must be.
TIM:
Oh … OK (Tim and Debbie move off to their seats as doors close)
GUARD:
(Australian accent) This train goes first stop Narara, Niagara Park, Lisarow,
Ourimbah, Wyong, then will express to Venice, then all stations to Paris and will
terminate on the moon.
Trainer runs on from P and does a couple of laps.
TIM:
This place is really weird!! I mean running on a train isn't going to make it go faster!
DEBBIE:
Don't you get it? She's training!
TIM:
Oh .. ha ha (confused) sure.
Trainer stands in corner doing stretches etc… Doors open and one mobile man walks in
struggling with a giant bag.
GUARD:
(Indian accent) Please be standing, the doors are closing by golly.
AGREEER:
Carry your bag sir?
SYLVESTER: Oh, yes thanks.
AGREER:
Bet you can't!
Sylvester sits down and takes out giant newspaper with an eyehole in it.
FRED:
(Runs on) There's a bomb on this train (Passengers start running around madly
looking for a way out)(Laughing) Just kidding. (All passengers point our
misunderstood friend into the next carriage, he trudges off with tail between his
legs)
DEBBIE:
Tim … Tim …
22
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
TIM:
(Voice from under the chair) Y-y-yes, Debbie?
DEBBIE:
I'm scared, this isn't right.
TIM:
(Hysterical) You're scared. YOU SCARED!?! I'LL TELL YOU WHO'S SCARED
AROUND HERE!!!! IT'S ME!!!! I don't know what's going on. These people are
weird. This train is weird. It's … it's …. Scary. (Debbie takes Tim in her arms and
comforts him)
Tim sits, as Trainspotters enter.
GUARD:
(Greek accent) Next stop, Fassifern, mate.
TIM:
What?
GUARD:
Fassifern, mate.
DEBBIE:
(Reassuringly) Well at least if nothing else is normal, we're at a normal station!
Doors open and clean man walks in a crazy walking style.
TIM:
Yeah … (scared sarcasm) just like home?
Cleanman goes to sit down on P side with spare seats on either side of him. Before sitting he
takes out a small towel and wipes down the seat, he then dust busters it. He takes out a feather
duster and cleans the window sill and sprays air freshener all around. He sits and proceeds to
take out a banana and throws the skin on the ground and plenty more rubbish.
Busker walks in, in mime. Eg. Glass walls
TIM:
Here's another rubber room candidate!
DEBBIE:
Whatever he's trying to prove, it's above me.
Busker - charades "I'm busking" while other people all try to figure it out.
SPACED OUT:
BUSKER:
(Walks in and looks at busker) Ha Ha. Busking, Ha.
(At first polite, but with building anger) Excuse me dear chap but will you mind
getting off my TRAIN!!
SPACED OUT:
Huh. Your train? (Thinks he is king in special carriage) Oh, your train. So
sorry your Highness. Please forgive me (Bows, presses emergency stop - doors open
- then jumps out the door. Busker sits down)
FRED:
(Running in screaming. Then in a Freddy Kruger voice) I'M BACK!!!
Busker mimes pushing Fred over, and kicking him off stage, Fred falls over and acts as if he is
kicked. Busker is clapped and takes seat after bowing. Fred slinks off.
GUARD:
(Italian accent) Next station Venice.
23
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Doors open and blind man enters.
BLINDMAN: (Enters through the train doors, looks around, pulls out a cup and offers it
around to collect alms. Tim and Debbie put in some change and he clinks the cup
next to his ear and smiles. He walks towards a seat and asks) Spare a seat for a
blindman?
AGREER:
Certainly, anything to assist the visually impaired. (Stands and moves to another
seat)
Blindman sits down, takes off his glasses, tips money into his hand and counts it.
AGREER:
I thought you were a Blindman but dammit you're visually paired.
Blindman turns his briefcase and shows LUXOFLEX VENETIAN BLINDS sign.
BLINDMAN: Of course (Takes out a brochure and in a queer voice) Now I have on special this
cute little ultrathin in a lovely pale magenta.
Trainspotters enter OP sticking green flouro spots all around the train
CLEANMAN: (Pulls off a spot) These trainspotters will be the rack and ruin of the train industry!
SYLVESTER: (Stands, sees Alison, tales out mobile phone and dials Alison) Hello, Alison?
ALISON:
Yeah, who's this?
SYLVESTER: It's Sly, your old friend from school. Don't you remember me?
ALISON:
(Confused, doesn’t know Sly is there) Oh yeah, Sly, how could I ever forget you?
SYLVESTER: Do you remember the time we went behind the locker room and did … you know
what!
ALISON:
(Remembers and really doesn't want to talk) Ha, ha yeah sure, well will you look at
the time.
SYLVESTER: I know, the first time I'm going to be on time for work! Where are you going now?
ALISON:
I'm on a train going to work now (Gets smile on her face) and look, I'm at my station.
I really would love to stay and chat but I must make a move. Bye. (Hangs up and
laughs to herself)
SYLVESTER: (Down trodden) Bye …..
Alison looks around smiling to herself and then sees Sly and gets a dramatic fright, looks for a
quick escape and runs to the next carriage.
GUARD:
(French accent) Mesdames et messieurs. Next Stop, Paris.
Doors open and Cluso walks in
24
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
CLUSO:
(Patrolling the train) You have tiquet.
TIM:
A what?
CLUSO:
A tiquet!
TIM:
Oh, a ticket!
CLUSO:
That is what I have been saying. Your ticket. (Tim shows Cluso his ticket)(to
Agreer) Your tiquet please sir.
AGREER:
Pardon.
CLUSO:
Your ticket you fool (Takes out a ticket) your train ticket please!
Agreer takes out a parking ticket, a basketball ticket etc .. and is refused then is cuffed and
taken off stage by Cluso.
GUARD:
(Houston Space Voice) This is Houston Control (crackle) prepare for lunar descent.
ASTRONAUT:
(Walking in doors) Just one small step for man, one gia .. (Realises that this
is not the moon and looks around) Excuse me girl, but where am I?
DEBBIE:
You're on the 9.14 to Newcastle, (To Tim) I hope.
ASTRONAUT:
(Turns to exit through doors and finds that he can't, talks into radio) Ah
Houston, we have a problem. (Looks around again and begins to panic, turns back
to door and starts beating it, getting progressively tired)
HOUSTON: (Replying to astronaut) Beta nine, Abort mission, repeat, Abort the mission!
Doors open and astronaut stands up, holds nose and jumps out as if jumping into water.
Fred slinks on wearing a coat with plastic explosives strapped inside.
FRED:
(In Arnie voice) The train is TERMINATED.
Blackout
SFX:
Explosion
25
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
SEVEN LITTLE SORCERERS
Jeanie Wood
A
Dialogue
NARRATOR: Behold our seven little Sorcerers - Merlin's apprentices. Cute aren't they? They try so
hard to imitate the master. They're never quite successful, but just between you and
me, it's very funny watching then try. Looks like time for another lesson.
B
Introduction
C
Verse 1 (All sing, Sorcerers only sing last line and half)
Seven little sorcerers sitting on a wall
Feeling very clever, looking very small
One turned to the other "The wizard must be wrong
I'm sure we'll make some magic while we're singing this song"
D
Chorus 1 - All sing
Make us some magic, give us some glitz
Tell us all your spelling and we'll teach the other kids
That magic is tragic when you don't know the source
We'll have to work this spelling out, of course
We're just apprentice sorcerers but very soon you'll see
How magic whacks the others when they're saucy with me
We can make magic and we can give glitz
All we need's the magic words to teach the other kids
E
Interlude 1 - Narrators
So they all joined hands and took a stand to make the power start
Shouted loud and made a cloud that blew them all apart
F
Verse 2 (All sing, sorcerers only sing last line and a half)
Six little sorcerers standing in a line
Looking rather guilty, feeling rather fine
One turned to the other "I knew all along
We'll make this magic work we're singing this song"
G
Interlude 2 - Narrators
This time we'll all link fingers, and cut the dialogue
But they dropped the magic ring off, and turned one to a frog
H
Verse 3 (All sing, sorcerers only sing last line and a half)
Five little sorcerers climbing up the tower
Looking full of sorrow, feeling full of power
One turned to the other "I knew it along
We'll make this magic work while we're singing this song"
I
Chorus 2 - All Sing
Make us some magic, give us some glitz
Tell us all your spelling and we'll teach the other kids
That magic is tragic when you don't know the source
26
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
We'll have to work this spelling out, of course
We're just apprentice sorcerers but very soon you'll see
How magic whacks the others when they're saucy with me
We can make magic and we can give glitz
All we need's the magic words to teach the other kids
J
Interlude 3 - Narrators
Then they leaned their wands together against the old stone wall
But the stone turned into rubber and the last one took a fall
K
Verse 4 (All sing, sorcerers only sing last line and a half)
Four little sorcerers setting of on tour
Looking so invincible, feeling insecure
One turned to the other "I know we must belong
To those who make that magic while they're singing this song"
L
Interlude 4 - Narrators
So they practised till the words seemed right to make their meaning clear
But the one who couldn't spell right abruptly disappeared
M
Verse 5 (All sing, sorcerers only sing last line and a half)
Three little sorcerers walking down the street
Looking quite rejected, feeling quite relieved
One turned to the other "Perhaps we've all been wrong
I'm sure they do the magic while they're singing this song"
N
Chorus 3 - All Sing
Make us some magic, give us some glitz
Tell us all your spelling and we'll teach the other kids
That magic is tragic when you don't know the source
We'll have to work this spelling out, of course
We're just apprentice sorcerers but very soon you'll see
How magic whacks the others when they're saucy with me
We can make magic and we can give glitz
All we need's the magic words to teach the other kids
O
Interlude 5 - Narrators
They put their heads together to spell something cool and nice
When one tipped up his magic cloak and turned himself to ice
P
Verse 6 (All sing, sorcerers only sing last line and a half)
Two little sorcerers running through the wood
Scared to find the others, wishing that they could
One turned to the other "It won't take very long
We'll have to make some magic while we're singing this song"
Q
Interlude 6 - Narrators
So they thought to cheer themselves a bit they'd try a laughing spell
But the tickle got the best of one who tripped into a well
R
Verse 7 - Narrators
One little sorcerer sitting all alone
27
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Crying for his mother cause he wants to go home
Along came the wizard and undid every spell
And he made them write their spelling out until the evening bell
S
Chorus 4 - All sing
Make us some magic, give us some glitz
Tell us all your spelling and we'll teach the other kids
That magic is tragic when you don't know the source
We'll have to work this spelling out, of course
We're just apprentice sorcerers but very soon you'll see
How magic whacks the others when they're saucy with me
We can make magic and we can give glitz
All we need's the magic words to teach the other kids
T
Playout
28
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
ANTARCTICA
Words & Music: Ken Bayly
A
Introduction
B
Oh it's great to be in Antarctica
It is incredibly nice
In the snow and ice
So far away from other lands
Under aurora australis
There's always plenty to charm us
As we swim about from floe to floe
To find our feathered friends
Oh it's great to be in Antarctica
Far from the noise and confusion
Here in the peace and seclusion
Here in the land of the midnight sun.
C
Dialogue
P1:
My feathered friend stop the music and dancing I have an idea, and I thinks it's a fun
idea.
Well what do you mean you have an idea?
I’m thinking that we could get our friends from our neighbouring country to do some
dancing
for us.
OH, now I’m getting the idea. Well what do we all think?
YEAH!!!!
Well can we have some light and music please?
But what music are we going to dance to?
Our all time favourite.
But our friends do not know our favourite tune.
I think you should show are friends how to do our dance.
P2:
P1:
P2:
All:
P1:
P2:
P1:
P2:
P1:
P2 demonstrates how to do the birdie dance
P1:
So lets turn the lights on, turn the music up and have some fun! Ready lights, music,
and action.
D
Dance break
Birdie dance music with actions and audience participation.
E
Dialogue
P1:
P2:
That was fantastic.
It sure was. Thank you all for joining in.
F
Oh it's great to be in Antarctica
It is incredibly nice
In the snow and ice
So far away from other lands
29
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Under aurora australis
There's always plenty to charm us
As we swim about from floe to floe
To find our feathered friends
Oh it's great to be in Antarctica
Far from the noise and confusion
Here in the peace and seclusion
Here in the land of the midnight sun.
G
Play out
30
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
STOMP
31
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
GOING GOING GONE 2
Adapted from Adelaide Gangshow
Martha is sitting in the rocking chair, slightly P side of centre. Arthur is also sitting in a rocking
chair, slightly OP of Martha. Arthur is reading a novel. Martha is knitting. Concealed behind
Arthurs chair is a fire extinguisher. Martha looks up and puts her knitting down. She turns to
Arthur.
MARTHA:
Arthur …….. Put the cat out!
Arthur slowly gets out of the chair, puts his book down and stands slowly. He reaches behind
the chair and pulls out the fire extinguisher. Arthur carries the extinguisher on his right side as
he exits P side. As he exits …….
ARTHUR:
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty … nice kitty
Blackout
32
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
RAPUNZEL
Adapted by Central Coast Gangshow
SCENE
In a far away land, there once lived a very poor husband and his wife; who for ONE
many years had longed for a child. One day their wish was granted. (Cheer)
Now, the windows at the back of their house looked upon a beautiful garden full of
delicious looking vegetables and herbs. One of the vegetables was called Rapunzel,
and the wife felt that she must have it ! When she told her husband he turned pale with
fear, for the garden belonged to a powerful enchantress and none dared set foot in it.
SCENE
That very night, scared but determined the husband climbed into the garden of TWO
the enchantress. Just as he was leaving with the vegetable Rapunzel, he found
himself face to face with the enchantress! (Oh, no and Boo).
“How dare you step into my garden” she shrieked “Been stealing too, I see, This will
cost you dearly”!
“Spare me” cried the man, trembling all over. “I had to do it for my poor wife who is
expecting our first child”.
Now the enchantress, for all her powers, was often lonely and when she heard of the
child smiled. “Then I will spare you, but when the child is born, you must give it to
me”. (Oh, no).
The husband pleaded, but she would not change her mind he must die or give the child
up.
The baby was a little girl and soon after she was born the enchantress came and took
her away. (Boo)
The enchantress named the baby Rapunzel, and brought her up with every luxury her
powers could provide.
SCENE
THREE
With each year Rapunzel grew more beautiful and the enchantress became afraid
that some young man would steel her treasure away. So the enchantress used her
magic powers to build a tall tall tower, deep in a remote forest, and there she hid
Rapunzel away. (boo)
There was no way in or out, except a window at the top. Rapunzel had long golden
hair like rope which she would throw down for the enchantress to climb when she
visited. The enchantress would say “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your golden hair.”
SCENE
One day, a prince lost his way in the forest, and was drawn to the tower by the FOUR
sounds of a sweet voice singing. He could not find a way to enter the tower so
stood in the shadows listening to the sweet singing. He saw the enchantress arrive
and call for Rapunzel to let down her hair. The prince was dumbfounded when he
realised the golden plaits were the only way to enter the tower and so remained
Hidden until the enchantress had left.
When night fell, he stood at the bottom of the tower and called softly “Rapunzel,
33
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Rapunzel, let down your golden hair”. At once, the beautiful hair came down and he
climbed up the tower into the window. (cheer)
SCENE
Rapunzel had never seen a young man before and at first was very frightened. FIVE
But she soon realised he was both handsome and gentle and he won her trust and
love. They both agreed to marry. (cheer)
They both realised that there was no way for Rapunzel to leave, so arranged for the
prince to bring silk the next evening from which Rapunzel could plait a rope long
enough for her to escape. With this promise and a kiss the prince left.
However, the next day Rapunzel who was overcome with love for the prince
thoughtlessly murmured as the enchantress arrived “how long she is compared to my
sweet prince, for he is with me in a moment”.
Learning of the plot, the enchantress cried “You little cheat! You have deceived me,
and it will cost you dearly !” She seized Rapunzel’s plaits and with a pair of scissors,
hacked them off. (Oh, no)
Using her magical powers she then whisked Rapunzel far away to survive alone on the
edge of the remote forest. (Boo)
SCENE
Even this cruelty did not satisfy the enchantress, who when darkness fell returned SIX
to the tower. She tied the plaits to the window post and waited. The prince
arrived at the tower and seeing the golden braids, climbed swiftly up, eager to
greet his love, only to be met at the top by the hateful taunting of the enchantress.
(boo)
“the cage is empty, the bird has flown and you will never hear her song again”. “The
cat’s got her - and it will scratch yours eyes out too”. The enchantress lunged for the
distraught prince who leapt backwards and fell from the window. (oh, no)
He plunged down on to a thorn bush, which saved his life but left him blinded.
SCENE
SEVEN
Sadly, the sightless prince from that day on wandered the forest surviving as best
he could and mourning the loss of his beloved.
But love is more powerful than hatred. And as the years passed, it seemed magic was
drawing them together. For one day as the prince stumbled, nearing the edge of the
forest, he heard sweet singing he immediately recognised. Stretching out his hands he
called Rapunzel’s name. Rapunzel, hearing his voice, ran to him and embraced him
tenderly. (cheer)
Two tears of joy fell on to the princes eyes, and magically the prince could see again.
(cheer)
SCENE
In great happiness they made their way to the palace, where the old king and EIGHT
queen were amazed by the return of the son they thought they had lost forever,
and amid great rejoicing the prince and Rapunzel were married (Cheer) and lived
happily ever after. (Cheer)
34
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
MAKE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE
Various
ALL GODS CHILDREN
Words & Music: Tony Burns
A
Introduction
B
We have a message, world, there's one fundamental truth that
All God's children know,
If all God's children know, why can't all God's children show them?
We have the right to live, and we have the right to give some
Hope to right the wrong, with a message clear and strong,
A universal song
C
We have a message, world, there's one fundamental truth that
All God's children learn,
If all God's children learn, why can't all God's children turn them
Back to a plainer road and back to a saner road for
Us to march along, with a message clear and strong,
A universal song
D
Let's make the world glisten, let's make the world great,
Oh, why won't you listen before it's too late?
E
Hark to the message, world, there's one fundamental truth that
All God's children preach
If all God's children preach, why can't all God's children reach them?
This is our heritage, a world ever free from rage
To which we can belong, with a message clear and strong,
A universal song
F
Can't you just imagine what a wonderful existance
In a world that is forever to be free?
Only we can change it, so pay heed to our insistence,
The message comes from me! - and me! - and me!
G
We have a message, world, there's one fundamental truth
That all God's children know,
If all God's children know, why can't all God's children show them?
We have the right to live, and we have the right to give
Some hope to right the wrong, with a message clear and strong,
A universal song
MAKE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE
Words & Music: Ralph Reader
H
Introduction
I
Make friends with people, let everyone know
35
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
People are people, anywhere you may go
Over the skyline, far over the sea
There, there are people who like us know this should be.
Every land and every nation, longs for a time so blest
When we find the sun and we all are one
From the north, south, east and west
Make friends with people, wherever you are
'Till the war drums are no longer and the battle flags are furled
In the Parliament of man, the Federation of the World
A PRAYER FOR THE BROTHERHOOD
Words & Music: Ken Bayly
J
Introduction
K
We pray for the peace and goodwill to unite.
We pray for the love of thy guiding light.
We pray that our paths may lead us to
A way of joy and friendship true
We ask that our eyes maybe open to see
The goodness of others whoever they may be.
L
This blessing we ask that we may be
As one great family
Goodwill on earth so often has seemed
Far beyond our call
So we ask that we may find
A way of peace for all.
Though different in colour and races and creed,
May we from all thoughts of intolerances be freed.
We ask that the world should pray with us
Our prayer for the brotherhood.
M
Brothers join in a chorus
To the world proclaim
The joys in the way of life we have found
In B.P.s scouting game
Brothers this be our chorus
Set the world aglow
With Scouting law, and with Scouting creed
Our youth will grow.
Scouts of all nations, friendships have found
All in a family by Scouting bound
Brotherhood be our answer
To this world of strife
May Scouting grow and forever show
How life can be.
36
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
TURN ON THE SUN
Mitch Murray & Peter Calander
N
Turn on the sun, turn on the sun
Light up the world, come everyone
Turn off the wind, thunder and rain
Turn on the sun, let's smile again
O
Tinker, tailor man, radiate all the love you can
Lawyer, engineer, let you heart be a pioneer
P
Turn on the sun, turn on the sun
Open the doors, tell everyone
Bad times are out, good times are in
Turn on the sun, let's smile again
Q
Miner, steeple jack, warm emotions are coming back
Sailor, stevedore, here's a message you can't ignore
R
Turn on the sun, turn on the sun
Light up the world, come everyone
Turn off the wind, thunder and rain
Turn on the sun, let's smile again
S
Gather up all the goodness in you
Turn on the sun, turn on the sun
What a world when we all begin to
Turn on the sun and smile again.
T
Turn on the sun, turn on the sun
Open the doors, tell everyone
Bad times are out, good times are in
Turn on the sun, let's smile again
THE LORDS PRAYER
Music: Hugh Twaddle
U
Our Father, who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Let thy kingdom come and thy will be done
As on Earth as in Heaven.
V
Our Father, who art in Heaven, Oh
Hallowed be thy name.
Let thy kingdom come and thy will be done
As on Earth and as in Heaven.
W
Give us all our daily bread, forgive our trespasses
As we forgive those trespassers
Deliver us from evil,
37
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
For Thine is the Kingdom
The power and the glory
Oh hallowed be thy name.
MAKE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE
Words & Music: Ralph Reader
X
Introduction
Y
Group 1
Make friends with people, let everyone know
People are people, anywhere you may go
Group 2
Over the skyline, far over the sea
There, there are people who like us know this should be.
Group 3
Every land and every nation, longs for a time so blest
When we find the sun and we all are one
Group 4
From the north, south, east and west
Make friends with people, wherever you are
All
'Till the war drums are no longer and the battle flags are furled
in the Parliament of man, the Federation of the World
Z
Playout
38
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
FLY BOYS
1
2
2
1
Come fly with me lets fly, lets fly away
If you can use some exotic booze
There’s a bar in far Bombay
Come on fly with me we’ll float down in the blue
2
1
1
1&2
Fly with me float down to Peru
IN llama land there’s a one man band
And he’ll toot his flute for you
Fly with me we’ll take off in the blue
1
2
2
1
1&2
Once I get you up there where the air is rarified
We’ll just glide, starry eyed
Once I get you up there I’ll be holding you so very near
You might even hear
A gang of angels cheer just because we’re together
2
1
1
1
2
1
1&2
2
1
1&2
Weather wise it’s such a cool cool day
You just say those words, we’ll whip those birds
Down to Acapulco Bay
It is perfect
(echo) Perfect
For a flying
Honeymoon they do say
(echo) Hey
Come on fly with me
Lets fly, lets fly away
Instrumental
2
Do do do do do do do do do do do
1
2
1
2
2
1&2
Once I get you up there
Where the air’s so rarified
We’re going to glide absolutely starry eyed
Once I get you up there I’ll be holding you so very near
You might even hear
A gang of angels cheer just because we’re together
1
2
2
1
1&2
1
1
Weather wise it’s such a groovy day
You just say those words, we’ll whip those birds
Down to Acapulco Bay
It’s perfect for a flying honeymoon they do say
Come on fly with me, (2 holds me)
Let’s fly, let’s fly
39
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
COOKING BY NUMBERS
John Bradbury
Scene: Scout camp with tent, fire place and bushes
Reggie and Mick enter left, they are 2 young scouts returning from a hike, laden with water
bottles, hats etc. They slump down and look exhausted.
MICK:
Come on, we had better get this fire started before the others get back, otherwise
Gloria won't be able to ply her culinary skills and we won't eat tonight.
REG:
How do you know if Gloria has any culinary skills to ply anyway? She's never cooked
before, she's rostered on tonight for the first time.
MICK:
She told me that being one of the first girls in the troop she's trying to make a good
impression.
REG:
She sure made an impression on Peter, remember her first meeting when he said in this
stupid deep voice "Gloria, as P/L of the Koala Patrol I'd like to welcome you and say
that we're happy to have you in our patrol"
40
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
MICK:
Yeah … and then he said "May I also say that your brothers' old uniform fits you like a
glove", then he turned around and smacked you in the nose. Why did he do that?
REG:
Dunno really, all I said was "yeah it does fit like a glove - sticks out in at least five
places I can count."
MICK:
Huh … beats me … Well we'd better find something to start this fire or we'll be in big
trouble when the others get back.
Mick and Reg search the camp site for things to start the fire - Reg goes near the tent and spies
a piece of paper on top of one of the packs near the door.
REG:
Here we go!! Just what the doctor ordered. (Picks up paper)
MICK:
Hang on there's something… (Reg rips paper) … was something
REG:
Eh?
MICK:
Forget it.
Reg puts paper in the bottom of the fire and prepares to light it.
REG:
Come on, give us a hand. (They both try with little success) Just blow gently under
the kindling. (Mick gives a giant blow which blows all the paper out of the fire and
scatters around it) Ah well done Tarzan! How the heck are we going to get this fire
going now?
MICK:
No worries there's a petrol drum down there that Skip used to fill up the four wheel
drive this afternoon, maybe there's a bit left. (Exits)
Reg continues to look around for burnables. Mick enters with a cup full of petrol.
MICK:
There we are, just what we need, pure scout spirit.
REG:
Cripes Mick! Do you know whose cup you just lined with unleaded?
MICK:
Oh no, not Mac "the mullet" Mulligan!
REG:
One and the same and if he finds out, you're history.
MICK:
Quick! Give me something to clean it out with.
Reg searches around and comes up with a pair of jocks.
REG:
(Throwing the jocks to Mick) Here use these, they're only Jimbos.
MICK:
But what's Jimbo going to wear?
REG:
Oh it's OK - they're not his clean ones.
41
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
MICK:
That's alright then. (He wipes the cup out and drops it and the jocks as the rest of
the patrol enter - Peter, Mack, Gloria, Jimbo, Doc & Wendy)
PETER:
Well, where's the fire, we're starved!
MICK:
One fire coming right up. (Goes to light fire)
MAC:
(Rough and tough Second of Patrol) Cripes, I'm thirsty! Where's me cup? Ah there it
is. (He takes cup fills it with water and gulps it down, Reg and Mick wait for a
reaction - there is none) Ah that's better, now what's for tea I'm starved!!!
REG:
(Aside) Maybe a litre of oil and check the spark plugs! (He lights the fire) Don't know
why you need a fire anyway with all the stuff you bring to camp - I am surprised you
did not bring the microwave. (Goes to tent door) Look at this stuff, suitcase, mp3
player, miniature TV, laptop, the only reason you did not bring your mobile is cause
you couldn't get any coverage!!!
DOC:
(Gets mobile from pocket) Not when you've got a direct satellite uplink!
REG:
I don't believe it.
GLORIA:
Stop it you two, dinner will be ready in a sec.
JIMBO:
Good! Just enough time for me to get changed (Sees jocks) Bewdy! I've been looking
for these. (Takes jocks and exits)
MICK:
(Aside) Hope he doesn't stand too close to the fire.
REG:
Could bring a whole new meaning to the words "hot pants".
GLORIA:
(Turns to tent) I can't wait to try out this new recipe. My brother gave it to me and
said I couldn't go wrong, as easy as one, two, three, just follow the numbers and hey
presto … dinner!! He said they use it in rovers all the time (Goes to tent and then
returns quickly) It's gone!! My recipe, it was right on top of my pack … now it's
gone! OK you guys! Who swiped the cooking by numbers recipe?
Reg and Mick realise and try unobtrusively to find the bits of paper.
JIMBO:
(Enters in new clothes) Keep you hair on Gloria. Cripes back in the good old days it
was just a case of, chuck some snags on the frypan, a couple of spuds in the fire, burn
'em until they were totally unrecognisable and there's ya dinner.
WENDY:
What do you mean, the good old days?
JIMBO:
You know, the good old days, when men were men and girls were .. um . guides.
GLORIA:
Why you simple minded excuse for a person, I ought to ... see, squirming already.
JIMBO:
It's not the speech that's got me squirming it sort of .. mum must be using some new
brand of washing powder.
MICK:
(Aside) Yeah …. Ampol!!!
42
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
REG:
Don't worry about it Jimbo … just don't stand too close to the fire.
MICK:
And while you're at it make sure "the mullet" doesn't breath on it!
WENDY:
Come on I'm starving, what about dinner?
MAC:
Yeah me too!
REG:
(Taking out the bit of paper) Actually we have a confession to make.
ALL:
Yeah!
MICK:
We tried to start the fire.
ALL:
And?
REG:
We needed some kindling.
ALL:
So?
DOC:
And you used the recipe.
REG & MICK: Right!
ALL:
Kill!!!
MICK:
No, no wait we salvaged the pieces, but the only problem is that they don't make any
sense
PETER:
Give me a look … mm .. 914-111-81? Makes no sense to me. There's no instructions
to go with the numbers.
Give me a look! Back in the good old days when girls were girls and boys were .. um
… children, you ate charcoal and we used our brains! Think … it's a Rover recipe, it
can't be too complicated … hang on!! Just (She obviously rearranges the numbers)
There! Ok Doc hit us with the latest in Telstra technology. (Doc hands her the phone)
Read 'em and weep!
WENDY:
ALL:
9481 1111 - 9481 1111 - 9481 1111 (Singing the numbers as in the ad)
Enter pizza delivery with pizzas
ALL:
Brings Pizza Hut to your tent!!!
43
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
GILBERT & SULLIVAN TRILOGY
Words: W S Gilbert Music: Arthur Sullivan
WE SAIL THE OCEAN BLUE
A
Introduction
B
We sail the ocean blue,
And our saucy ships a beauty
We're sober men and true,
And attentive to our duty
C
Part 1
When the balls whistle free
O'er the bright blue sea,
We stand to our guns all day.
When at anchor we ride
On the Portsmouth tide,
We've plenty of time for play
Part 2
When the balls whistle free
O'er the bright blue sea
We stand to our guns all day
When at anchor we ride
On the Portsmouth tide,
We've plenty of time for play
44
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Ahoy! Ahoy! Ahoy! Ahoy!
Ahoy! Ahoy! Ahoy! Ahoy!
I'M CALLED LITTLE BUTTERCUP
D
Hail, man-o'-war's men, safeguards of your nation,
Here is an end, at last, of all privation,
You've got you pay, spare all you can afford
To welcome Little Buttercup on board
E
I'm called little Buttercup, dear little Buttercup
Though I could never tell why
But still I'm called buttercup, poor little Buttercup,
Sweet little Buttercup I!
F
I've snuff and tobaccy, and excellent jacky,
I've scissors, and watches and knives
I've ribbons and laces to set off the faces
Of pretty young sweethearts and wives.
G
I've treacle and toffee, I've tea and I've coffee
Soft tommy and succulent chops;
I've chickens and conies, and pretty polonies,
And excellent peppermint drops.
H
Then buy of your Buttercup, dear little Buttercup
Sailors should never be shy
So buy of your Buttercup, poor little buttercup,
Come of your Buttercup buy.
I
Sound Effect - Gong
BEHOLD THE LORD HIGH EXECUTIONER
J
Introduction
K
Behold the Lord High Executioner!
A personage of noble rank and title
A dignified and potent officer,
Whose functions are particularly vital!
Defer, defer
To the Lord High Executioner
Defer, defer
To the noble Lord, to the noble Lord
To the Lord High Executioner
L
Sound Effect - Gong
WILLOW, TIT WILLOW
45
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
M
Introduction
N
On a tree by a river a little tom tit
Sang "Willow, tit willow, tit willow!"
And I said to him "Dicky bird, why do you sit
Singing 'willow, tit willow, tit willow'?
O
Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?" I cried,
"Or a rather tough worm in your little inside?"
With a shake of his poor little head he replied
"Oh, willow, tit willow, tit willow!"
P
He slapped at his chest, as he sat on that bough,
Singing "Willow, tit willow, tit willow!"
And a cold persperation bespangled his brow,
Oh, Willow, tit willow, tit willow!
Q
He sobbed and he sighed, and a gurgle he gave,
Then he plunged himself into the billowy wave,
And an echo arose from the suicide's grave
"Oh , willow, tit willow, tit willow!"
OH, BETTER TO LIVE AND DIE
R
Introduction
S
Oh better to live and die
Under the brave black flag I fly,
Than play a sanctimonious part,
With a pirate head and a pirate heart.
T
Away to the cheating world you go
Where pirates all are well to do
But I'll be true to the song I sing,
And live and die a Pirate King
U
For I am a Pirate King!
And it is, it is a glorious thing
To be a Pirate King!
V
King
For I am a Pirate King!
Chorus
You are! Hurrah for our Pirate King!
And it is, it is a glorious thing to be a Pirate King
It is! Hurrah for our Pirate King!
Hurrah for the Pirate King!
Hurrah for the Pirate King!
46
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
I AM A VERY MODEL OF A
MODERN MAJOR GENERAL
W
Introduction
X
I am a very model of a Modern Major General
I've information vegetable, animal and mineral
I know the kings of England,
And I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical
I'm very well aquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem, I'm teeming with a lot o' news
I am a very model of a Modern Major General.
SIGHING SOFTLY TO THE RIVER
Y
Introduction
Z
Others
The pirates! The pirates! Oh, despair
Pirates
Yes, we're pirates, so despair!
AA
Sound effects & fight scene
BB
We triumph now, for well we trow
Your mortal careers cut short
No pirate band will take its stand
At the Cen - tral
Criminal court!
CC
Sargent
To gain a brief advantage you've contrived
But your proud triumph will not be long-lived
Pirate King
Don't say you're orphans, for we know the game
Sargent
On your allegiance we've a stronger claim
We charge you yield, we charge you yield,
In Queen Victoria's name!
Pirate King
You do!
Police
We do!
We charge you yield, in Queen Victoria's name!
Pirates
We yield at once, with humbled mien,
47
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Because, with all our faults, we love our Queen.
Others
Yes, yes, with all their faults, they love their Queen!
4 Parts
Yes, yes, with all their faults, they love their Queen!
WITH CAT LIKE TREAD
DD
Introduction
EE
With cat like tread, upon our prey we steal,
In silence dread, our cautious way we feel
No sound at all!
We hardly speak a word,
A fly's foot fall would be distinctly heard
Echo
Ta-ran-ta-ra ta-ra-ta-ra!
FF
So stealthily the pirate creeps,
While all the household soundly sleeps.
GG
Group 1
Come, friends, who plough the sea,
Truce to navigation, take another station
Let's vary piracee, with a little burglaree!
Group 2
Ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra
Ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra
Ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra!
HH
Group 1
Come, friends, who plough the sea,
Truce to navigation, take another station
Let's vary piracee, with a little burglaree!
Group 2
Ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra
Ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra
Ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,Ta-ran-ta-ra-ra-ra
II
Here's your crowbar and your centrebit,
Your life preserver you may want to hit!
Your silent matches, your dark lantern seize,
Take your file and your skeletonic keys.
JJ
With cat like tread, upon our prey we steal,
In silence dread, our cautious way we feel
No sound at all!
We never speak a word,
A fly's foot fall would be distinctly heard
KK
Group 1
Come, friends, who plough the sea,
Truce to navigation, take another station
Let's vary piracee, with a little burglaree!
LL
Encore
MM
With cat like tread, upon our prey we steal,
48
Group 2
Ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra
Ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra
Ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,Ta-ran-ta-ra-ra-ra
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
In silence dread, our cautious way we feel
No sound at all!
We never speak a word,
A fly's foot fall would be distinctly heard
NN
Playout
STILL NOT READY
Central Coast Gangshow
Blackout after overture. Abseil rope thrown over on OP as per opening.
PERSON 1:
(Spot up on OP rope where person was in opening. Walks on OP side in
darkness) Welcome back. (Pause waiting for spot to find him - to audience) Here
we go again! (To spotlight operator) Um excuse me, I'm down here. (Spot moves up
and down rope. Getting impatient) Down, down, down, down, bit more, that's it,
now across, across, bit more, that's it. (To spotlight operator) Thank (Spot starts to
move) you. (He has to move around to stay in the light) What is going on up there.
Spot continues to move around and person 1 has to keep moving to stay in the light. Starts out
with small movement and gets faster as skit goes along.
PERSON 2:
(Voice from catwalk) Nothing!!!!!!!!!
PERSON 1:
I should have known. I thought you would have learnt your lesson earlier, but
obviously not. How about you come down from there and we sort this out once and for
all. (Spot goes out. In darkness) So that's how you want to play the game. (Spot
49
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
flashes on and off with different colours) Thanks for that - but pink, purple, green
and yellow are not my colours.
PERSON 2:
(Still on catwalk) Sorry. Maybe if you had been (Sarcastic) ready it might have been
OK.
PERSON 1:
Very clever. But we are starting the 2nd Act now, and that was a 1st Act joke. Looks
like you weren't so "ready" after all. How about we try for a 2nd Act joke.
PERSON 2:
Sounds good - how about ……… are you get ready to stop the rock?
PERSON 1:
What?
PERSON 2:
Rock! (Loudly, slowly and clearly) Stop the rock!
PERSON 1:
Look - I really don't understand what you are saying and would you PLEASE stop
moving the light around (Spot stops) Thank you. Now I can think …. (Thinking out
aloud) Stop the rock …….. stop the rock …….
PERSON 2:
Have you figured it out yet?
PERSON 1:
I'm getting there. Give a me a minute.
PERSON 2:
Sorry times up. You we were warned.
PERSON 1:
(To audience) I think I liked the 1st Act joke better.
PERSON 2:
It's time to STOP THE ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Strobe flashes as music starts and curtain rises. Person 1 stands like a bunny in car headlights
for a few seconds then disappears offstage
CRAZY HORSE & STOP THE ROCK
Apollo 440
50
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
THIRTY SECONDS
Scared Weird Little Guys
There’s only thirty seconds left in this song
If you had a stopwatch and tried to work it out
You’d find around now that the time remaining
Would equal twenty seconds YEAH
Now it’s down to eighteen
Seventeen seconds to time to rest
If this was an ad you’d be impressed
If you’re in a hurry you wont be late
Cause if for the end of this song you wait
There’s only four seconds left
How long
There’s only one second le……
51
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
NO SUBSTITUTE FOR QUALITY SCOUTING
James Wilkinson, Andrew Snook, Ben Dennis, Lyndall Brown, Ian Lambeck & Rob Simic
Scene: The year 2012, and Arnotts have bought and control the Scouting Movement.
Setting:A cub scout meeting, just before parade. An Arnotts flag is hung in centre stage next
to an Australian flag.
Curtain opens. Lights up on OP where sixers and seconds from BBQ and Pizza Shape patrol
and the smart alec are seated.
BBQ 6R:
D'ya remember last year, when Wests came from last to win the Grand Final?
SMARTY:
Yeah! My dad said they hadn't won a Grand Final since Arnotts took control of the
Scout Association back in 2001.
BBQ 2ND:
But Squawk magazine (the Arnott's Scout Handbook) says that Arnotts Scouts was
founded in 2002!
PIZZA 6R:
Well, we'll find out for sure when we go to the factory for Job Week.
52
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
BBQ 2ND:
I get to put holes in the Vitaweets!
PIZZA 2ND:
Yeah, we'll I'm on cream duty.
SMARTY:
Does anyone know who's doing the Iced Vovos?
PIZZA 6R:
Scotch Finger said he'd tell us all on Parade tonight.
BBQ 6R:
And we also find out who won the Shapes Competition! It be BBQ Shape, for sure.
PIZZA 6R:
No way! Pizza Shape is better than BBQ. We're going to win.
BBQ 6R:
Yeah? We'll see about that!
PIZZA 6R:
Oh yeah?
BBQ 6R:
Yeah!
They stand and are ready to fight.
BBQ 2ND:
Actually, I think Tomato Salsa Shape will win.
They glare at him.
PIZZA 2ND:
Oh crumbs! Here comes Raspberry Tart, and she doesn't look too happy.
SMARTY:
That might be because I filled her bag up with Lanes and Players biscuits.
OTHERS:
Ooooh, that's harsh!
Raspberry Tart comes storming in, red as a beetroot.
ALL:
Hi, Raspberry Tart.
RASP:
All right! Which of you little crumbs filled my bag up with Players biscuits? What
are you playing at?
They all point at Smarty. Scotch Finger comes in and stops her.
SCOTCH:
Come on, Raspberry Tart, calm down. Go dip yourself in a cool glass of milk, and
get the rest of the packet on Parade. I'll handle these guys.
RASP:
You're right, Scotch Finger. I shouldn't be taking my anger out on the kids.
She exits.
SCOTCH:
Come on you guys. Raspberry Tart's been in a bit of a jam lately and she's ready to
crumble, so just cool it.
SMARTY:
Well, she deserves it. She's always really mean.
53
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
SCOTCH:
Look, she may be rough around the edges, but really she's very sweet on the inside.
Now get ready for Parade!
Lights up on OP
SCOTCH:
(Raises his hand) Packet, packet, packet!
CUBS:
Packet!
All shapes get on parade, in a horseshoe with Leaders at centre.
SCOTCH:
Tonight, we have some special awards to present. Jack, would you come out please.
(Jack comes to centre of horseshoe) Jack has spent many hours on his Construction
Badge, he has built the Packet a new Wagon Wheel. Whaddawegivim?
ALL:
Tiny-teddies-multi-variety-pack! (Just like 1 2 3 wolf!)
JACK:
Chocolate-honey-and-banana-flavour!
SCOTCH:
The next award goes to someone who has practised and practised to get her Knots
Badge. Yes, that's right. Steph has finally learnt to tie the pretzel Knot (Steph comes
out) Whaddawegiver?
ALL:
Tiny-teddies-multi-variety-pack!
STEPH:
Chocolate-honey-and-banana-flavour!
The excited cubs all chatter amongst them selves.
SCOTCH:
RASP:
Packet! (They hush) This brings us now to the winner of the Shape Competition.
Raspberry Tart, would you like to present this award?
Thank you. Over the last month, you lot have been very active, both earning badges
and doing good turns. (They all call out stuff they have done) However, one Shape
has been more active than the rest and justly deserves this award. Henry, would you
like to bring your Shape out please?
SCOTCH:
Whaddawegivim?
ALL:
Tiny-teddies-multi-variety-pack!
SALSA 6:
Chocolate-honey-and-banana-flavour!
SCOTCH:
Packet! Don't forget this Saturday at the Arnotts Factory. If anyone isn't sure of their
rostered duty, please see me after parade. And everyone has to get their fundraising
money back in two weeks, so I hope you've all been selling your Girl Guide Biscuits.
SMARTY:
Made from real Girl Guides.
SCOTCH:
Packet! Attention!
BBQ sixer comes out into the centre.
54
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
BBQ 6R:
Tim - Tim - Tim!
ALL:
Tam - Tam - Tam!
BREAK AND ENTER
Adapted from John Bradley by David Spencer, Kerrin Gili & Mark Emdin
Pink Panther theme music from orchestra as crook with gun approaches man in street.
CROOK:
This is a stick up, hand over your wallet.
MAN:
What?
CROOK:
You heard me, hand over your wallet.
MAN:
Certainly. And may I say that you have chosen wisely. This wallet is made from
the finest hand stitched quality cow hide. It has a rust proof teflon coated zipper with
separate linearly designed credit card compartments and a strategically placed
transparent pocket for your riving licence or parole card. It has twin air bags for rear
pocket comfort during lengthy Gangshow sketches. And as an optional extra it has my
weeks wages in it consisting of crisp new $50 notes - but you need to act right now
before I spend it. How much do you think I paid for this superbly crafted wallet? $150, $125? Not even $99.99. I only paid $39.95, plus postage and handling. And it's
yours.
55
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Hands wallet over to baffled crook who turns away.
MAN:
But wait. I know you want more! This wallet comes with a matching cowhide key
case, and 20 of your favourite country and western artists all in this one collection.
Won't your friends be impressed when they hear Dolly and Kenny singing "Crest of
a Wave" unplugged! And, there's no delivery charge!
Man hands gear to crook who gives man gun and turns to leave as cop enters and stops crook.
COP:
Freeze, jerk! You are under arrest for armed robbery. You are going to jail for a long
time. Not only will you stay at Her Majesty's pleasure, full board and three square
meals a day, you will get this set of stainless steel Swiss steak knives gift wrapped in
a presentation box to help carve up the prisoner chow as well as threaten the wardens.
And how long do you expect to serve? 5 years? No. 7 years? No, by the time our star
witnesses from the police royal commission have verballed you, you'll be behind bars
for the rest of your life. Don't try to bribe me - without a brown paper bag. Do not send
any money - or we'll charge you!
Cop handcuffs crook and begins to take crook off stage. Cops turns to man and says
COP:
Another successful arrest from Operation Demtel.
Pink Panther music
LEAN ON ME
A
Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain,
We all have sorrow,
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow.
B
Lean on me when you're not strong and I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on (Lean on me) for it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on
C
Please swallow your pride
If I have things,
You need to borrow,
For no one can fill
Those of your needs that you won't let show.
D
Lean on me when you're not strong and I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on (Lean on me) for it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on
56
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
E
Just call on me brother when you need a hand,
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand
We all need somebody to lean on.
F
Lean on me when you're not strong and I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on (Lean on me) for it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on
G
We be jammin' we be jammin' we be jammin'
We be jammin' we be jammin' we be jammin'
H
Call me (When you need a friend)
Call me (When you need a friend)
Call me (Oh baby now)
Call me (When you need a friend)
Call me (Oh baby now)
SCENE IN GREEN
FOT
Two Aussies preparing to go on a trip, sitting with travel brochures.
A
Dialogue
ROSE:
How about about Switzerland - No! - Let's do it all Greece, Italy, France, England, the
lot!
DAWN:
Here's a tour of ireland with a stopover in Singapore.
ROSE:
OK, yes we must go to Ireland, my Mum has been nagging me about Ireland since I
was a kid.
Curtain up.
Rose and Dawn pack their backpacks while song is being sung.
A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN
Music: Ernest R Ball
57
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Words: J Keirn Brennan
B
Introduction
C
Have you ever heard the story of how Ireland got it's name?
I'll tell you so you'll understand from whence old Ireland came.
No wonder that we're proud of that dear land across the sea
For here's the way me dear old mother told the tale to me
D
Shure a little bit of heaven fell from out the sky one day
And nestled on the ocean in a spot so far away
And when the Angels found it, shure it looked so sweet and fair
They said suppose we leave it, for it looks so peaceful there
So they sprinkled it with star dust just to make the shamrocks grow
'Tis the only place you'll find them no matter where you go
Then they dotted it with silver, to make it's lakes so grand
And when they had it finished shure they called it Ireland
E
'Tis a dear old land of fairies and of wond'rous wishing wells
And nowhere else on God's green earth have they such lakes and dells!
No wonder that the angels loved it's shamrock bordered shore
'Tis a little bit of heaven, and I love it more and more.
Rose and Dawn exit
F
Sure a little bit of heaven fell from out the sky one day
And nestled on the ocean in a spot so far away
And when the Angels found it, shure it looked so sweet and fair
They said suppose we leave it, for it looks so peaceful there
So they sprinkled it with star dust just to make the shamrocks grow
'Tis the only place you'll find them no matter where you go
Then they dotted it with silver, to make it's lakes so grand
And when they had it finished shure they called it Ireland
Curtain down.
Rose and Dawn re-enter FOT looking around everywhere.
G
Dialogue
DAWN:
Gee I didn't know it would look so green
3 or 4 people pass them as they cross the stage.
PERSON 1:
Top of the morning to you
PERSON 2:
Good day to you fair Colleen
PERSON 3:
Luck of the Irish be with you.
Others wave or doff their hats or Shillelagh's etc.
58
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
ROSE:
All the people are so friendly. They have such catching smiles.
Curtain up.
WHEN IRISH EYES ARE SMILING
Music: Ernest R Ball
Words: Chauncey Olcott & Geo. Graff Jnr.
H
Introduction
I
When Irish eyes are smiling, sure it's like a morn in Spring
In tha lilt of Irish laughter, you can hear the angels sing
When Irish hearts are happy, all the world seems bright and gay,
And when Irish eyes are smiling, sure they steal your heart away.
J
There's a tear in your eye and I'm wondering why,
For it never should be there at all with such pow'r in your smile
Sure a stone you'd be-guile, so there's never a teardrop should fall
When your sweet lilting laughter's like some fairy song
And your eyes twinkle bright as can be;
You should laugh all the while, and all other times smile,
And now smile a smile for me
K
When Irish eyes are smiling, sure it's like a morn in Spring
In tha lilt of Irish laughter, you can hear the angels sing
When Irish hearts are happy, all the world seems bright and gay,
And when Irish eyes are smiling, sure they steal your heart away.
L
For your smile is a part, of the love in your heart,
And it makes even sunshine more bright, like the linnets sweet song,
Crooning all day long, comes your laughter so tender and light
For the springtime of life is the sweetest of all,
There is never a real care or regret
And while springtime is ours throughout all of youths hours
Let us smile each chance we get.
Curtain down.
M
When Irish eyes are smiling, sure it's like a morn in Spring
In tha lilt of Irish laughter, you can hear the angels sing
When Irish hearts are happy, all the world seems bright and gay,
And when Irish eyes are smiling, sure they steal your heart away.
Rose and Dawn enter P FOT
N
Dialogue
ROSE:
Let's catch a train and see Dublin - I've heard it's very …….. Irish
DAWN:
Yeah OK
59
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Curtain up on station scene.
SFX:
Train leaving
DAWN:
Hey wait. Stop that train. (She moves OP looking after the train)
STATION MAN:
(Behind ticket window) Excuse me, me dear, but would ye have been tryin'
to catch that train?
DAWN:
(Hands on hips) Oh no, I didn't like the look of it, I was just chasing it away. Look,
do you know how long the next train will be?
S MAN:
Well, I couldn't rightly be sayin'. It's usually about six carriages, but of course that's
including the guards van ………………..
DAWN:
I mean, what time will it be here?
S MAN:
Ahh, you'd have to be askin' at Enquries, Miss. (Shuts window)
ROSE:
Oh Dawn, what are we going to do? We've got to get back to Dublin to catch our plane
back home.
DAWN:
Well we can't delay much longer. What's the time?
ROSE:
Err, I don't know.
DAWN:
What happened to that remarkable, unbreakable, new, waterproof, shockproof,
antimagnetic, digital alarm watch you bought in Singapore?
ROSE:
Umm, I lost it.
DAWN:
Gee you're a drongo Rosemary. You're always losing things. First there was your
passport in France and then your plane ticket in Greece …..
ROSE:
And don't forget, I lost my voice at that soccer match in England.
DAWN:
Yeah, well that wasn't so hard to bear (Pause) Look, let's ask at enquiries about the
next train.
She knocks at the enquiries window. The luggage window goes up and the same little man puts
his head out.
S MAN:
Yes Miss could I be helping you?
DAWN:
Yes, I was asking at the ticket office …. (Looks over, then looks back and does
double take, realising it is the same man, shakes head and carries on) ….. and I
was just wondering when the next train goes to Dublin?
S MAN:
Well let me think? It seems to be …….
BOTH:
Yes?
60
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
S MAN:
It seems to me, that it always goes to Dublin. You see, because that's where the tracks
go! (Proud of himself)
ROSE:
(Thinking) You know I think he's right Dawn.
DAWN:
No, no, no. I mean what TIME does the train to Dublin get here?
S MAN:
Ahh what you'd be wanting is Enquiries, Miss (He slams window shut, Dawn is
flabbergasted)
ROSE:
Ah look, let me do it Dawn. I've got a way with these foreigners you know.
DAWN:
Yeah like that taxi driver in Rome.
ROSE:
Well, it's not my fault that I said "Yesa pleasea" when I meant "Noa thanka-you"
Rose is about to knock on enquiries window when it opens and same man pops head out of
window.
ROSE:
Oh look Dawn, it's the same little man
DAWN:
(Not surprised) Oh really?
S MAN:
No O'Reilly. Patrick James O'Reilly. And you are ….. ?
ROSE:
I'm Rosemary and this is my friend Dawn. We're Australian (Proudly)
S MAN:
I'd never have guessed that.
ROSE:
You do know where that is don't you?
S MAN:
Sure and begorrah I do. It's where all the Irish jokes go to die.
DAWN:
Yeah, well look, I don't suppose you could tell us the time of the next train to Dublin?
S MAN:
As a matter of fact I could.
DAWN:
(Both pause waiting for answer) Well, when is it? (He checks fob watch)
S MAN:
I'm afraid that was the last one for the day (Girls look shocked) Of course there's the
evening milk train, but there's no recommendation it'll be through before the weekend.
ROSE:
Oh no, why not?
S MAN:
Well you see, sometimes old Paddy the gate man has a bit too much whisky and
forgets to open the gates. Last week he didn't open them for five days. Well, then
they let the butter train through.
DAWN:
You mean we will have to wait till morning?
S MAN:
I'm afraid so. And you'll be on your own. I've got to get home. (He shuts window and
appears from behind)
61
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
ROSE:
Oh Dawn, I'm scared.
S MAN:
Oh, there's noting to be scared of Miss, there'll be a full moon tonight. Only one thing,
if you see any little people, whatever you do, don't talk to them. Top of the evenin' to
ye (He exits)
ROSE:
Little people? There's no pygmies in Ireland.
DAWN:
No, he means leprechauns. Rosemary, ya such a dubbo!
ROSE:
Ohhh, I'm scared.
DAWN:
Look, there's nothing to be worried about. You've read your Women's Weekly Tips
for Travellers, haven't you?
Rosemary gets her book out and starts to flip through.
ROSE:
Gee Ireland's nice isn't it. All green trees and hills, oh look, Dawn, there's a bunch of
cows.
DAWN:
Not a bunch a herd.
ROSE:
Heard of what?
DAWN:
Herd of cows.
ROSE:
Of course I've heard of cows.
DAWN:
No, a cow herd.
ROSE:
So what if it did? I didn't say anything wrong.
DAWN:
You really are a drongo Rosemary. Gees I'm hungry, have you got any sandwiches
left? The food in this place makes State Rail taste good. Was that tea or coffee I had?
ROSE:
It was coffee. The tea tasted worse. You know, as soon as we get back home …
DAWN:
If we get back home …….
ROSE:
I'm going to start saving for another trip. It'll cost a lot, but for a start, I think we
should have the phone disconnected, that'll save a bit of money.
DAWN:
Oh we can't do that. How could we ring our friends?
ROSE:
Oh it'd be alright, they could ring us (Pause) EEEEEKKKK Look! Over there!
DAWN:
What? I can't see anything.
ROSE:
It's a man, there in the shadows.
DAWN:
Hang on dipstick, you're seeing things.
62
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
ROSE:
No, here, look. Try my glasses (They get tangled in the glasses chain) Oh, it's an
evil spirit. We're going to be whisked away to the underworld. No more Australia.
No more Red Rooster or Vegemite. No more Home & Away or Women's Weekly.
DAWN:
For goodness sakes, pull yourself together. It's only a farmer. Excuse me sir, but could
you help us. We're waiting for the train, and its getting dark and …….
FARMER:
Dusk does strange things in Ireland, me little Colleen.
ROSE:
No, you've got it wrong, she's Dawn and I'm Rosemary.
FARMER:
When night comes, the little men in green and brown appear.
DAWN:
Oh no Rosemary …… he means the leprechauns.
FARMER:
Beware the Ides of Ireland. (Fades off into the fog)
DAWN:
Streuth …… that was a mixed metaphor.
ROSE:
My boyfriend Robbo says you should never mix your metaphors, you get drunk
quicker.
DAWN:
Fair Dinkum Rosemary, sometimes I think you are a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
ROSE:
(Looking in bag) You're right Dawn, we ate the last cucumber and veggie sandwich
ages ago. (Looking offstage) Dawn something else moved over there …
DAWN:
You're right this time Rosemary …. Oh it's horrible, they're green and … and … and
they look vicious.
Both girls scream and run offstage
LEPRECHAUNS
Words & Music: Ken Bayly
O
Introduction
P
If your name be Fahan or O'Rielly
There's no doubt that we are known to you
If you come from 'cross the sea, there's still the possibility
That you know of us too
But we've been for folks to know us better
And to spread a broad our fame
So just to help it along
We'll sing again our leprechaun refain
Q
Sure and begorrah it's great to be a sprightly leprechaun
We romp and play in a roguish way until the break of morn
Putting the fear of the devil in the hearts of every man
With mournful wails over hills and vales we haunt old Ireland
63
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Though Pat O'Toole and Dan McPhee when talking in a crowd
May claim that leprechauns are things which simply aren't around
You'll find it's very different when thy're on their Pat Malone
Hear them shout as soon as we appear
Even a four leafed clover will not snuff our magic out.
Shill e-laghs haven't the slightest use when we folk are about
You can be sure that we'll be there when mischief's to be done
For sure and begorrah it's great to be a sprightly leprechaun.
R
Sure and begorrah it's great to be a sprightly leprechaun
We romp and play in a roguish way until the break of morn
Putting the fear of the devil in the hearts of every man
With mournful wails over hills and vales we haunt old Ireland
Though Pat O'Toole and Dan McPhee when talking in a crowd
May claim that leprechauns are things which simply aren't around
You'll find it's very different when they're on their Pat Malone
Hear them shout as soon as we appear
Even a four leafed clover will not snuff our magic out.
Shill e-laghs haven't the slightest use when we folk are about
You can be sure that we'll be there when mischief's to be done
For sure and begorrah it's great to be a sprightly leprechaun.
S
Playout
MERE MALES
Words: Teague Rook
Music: Russell Corr
A
Introduction
B
Ocka
Yeah g'day all youse people and girls out there
I've been shearin' outback 'cos I needed some air
Now I'm the sorta fella that can tackle the odds
The heat, the dust, the grime and grease off the rods
But when it comes to women, I'm a sentimental bloke
If a sheila's really friendly, I'll offer 'er a smoke
Or a cuppa from me billy or maybe a stubby
But I wouldn't go no further, I'm a dedicated hubby.
C
Yuppie
Well I'm six foot four and debonair
With designer label clothing and slick greasy hair
At an intellectual level I am frightfully smart
I have shares in the stock market and I invest in art
I drive a red Ferrari which looks fantastic
My wallet's overflowing with cards made of plastic
64
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
I'm the darling of the sports club and the girls call me puppy
But most other people, they call me a Yuppie
D
All
When God first made Adam
He only had one mould
But with present man he has a choice
And we all have hearts of gold
When all men join as one
There's no way we can fail
But if we do, the reason is,
That we are Merely Male.
E
Punk
Wot yer lookin' at ya lousey mob
I'm an ordinary bloke wiff an ordinary job
I've got a big car and the engine's really loud
When I've got nothin' to do I hang out wiff the crowd
I wear leathers and chains cause the girls go for that
I sometimes beat up people wiff a baseball bat
When it comes to the crunch though, I really care
But don't worry girls, I'm your parents worst nightmare.
F
Business Man
Well I'm a busy man with a good occupation
I work all day, with no time for recreation
There's more work coming in than there is going out
I've business lunch at noon, it happens to be my shout
With 50,000 phones all ringing at one time
"Ah yes thank you Betty, could you get him on the line"
Right now I'm in a hurry because I'm late for a meeting
It's with silly taxman, who says that I've been cheating
G
All
When God first made Adam
He only had one mould
But with present man he has a choice
And we all have hearts of gold
When all men join as one
There's no way we can fail
But if we do, the reason is,
That we are Merely Male.
H
Family Man
Well I don't have a job cause my family is my life
I have three kids and a busy, loving wife
On weekends we have picnics or go out for a drive
But when it comes to weekdays it's a wonder I survive
This week I've been electrocuted and set alight three times
There's fights amongst the children and the house is full of mines
I sympathise with women who make the home their life
I know how they feel, because I'm a housewife!
65
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
I
All
When God first made Adam
He only had one mould
But with present man he has a choice
And we all have hearts of gold
When all men join as one
There's no way we can fail
But if we do, the reason is,
That we are Merely Male.
J
Playout
GOING GOING GONE 3
Adapted from Adelaide Gangshow
The rocking chairs are positioned as before. Arthur is sitting on his rocking chair as before.
Concealed behind the chair is the red jerry can sized petrol can.
MARTHA:
(From offstage) Arthur ……. I'm ready to go out!
Arthur gets out of the chair, puts his book down and stands slowly. He reaches behind the
chair and pulls out the petrol can. Arthur carries the petrol can on his right side as he exits P
side. As he exits, he says ………
ARTHUR:
Oh no you don't!
Blackout
66
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
SURVIVOR 6: WOMBAT PATROL
Bruce Clarke
Dramatic documentary-style music is heard. Spot a jacketed television compere at centre,
holding an obvious station logo microphone. He speaks in that urgent overdramatic, desperate
tone of documentary narrators everywhere.
COMPERE: They survived on a tropical island.
In another spot, a camera person is filming an argument between two survivalists in tattered
shorts and bright tropical shirts. They are grabbing a coconut back and forth between them.
ISLANDER 1:That's my coconut …
ISLANDER 2:It's my coconut ….
ISLANDER 1:It's my coconut …
ISLANDER 2:It's mine….
ISLANDER 1:Mine ….
ISLANDER 2:Mine ….
67
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
ISLANDER 1:Mine …
CAMERA 1: (lowering camera, stepping forward) Actually, this is my Snickers bar…
He is holding up a Snickers bar. The two Islanders look at it, at each other, each grabs a side
of the coconut, together they clock the cameraperson on the head, and as he goes out for the
count, they grab the Snickers bar. As they tear it open ………
1 & 2:
(Together) It's mine!! (Spot off)
COMPERE: They survived the Australian Outback ……..
In another spot, two people in drover type clothing are crawling along, another cameraperson
right behind, beside, around them.
ONE:
Water ….
TWO:
Water ….
ONE:
Water …
TWO:
Please …. Water ….
An assistant brings the camera person on a cup of tea. He pauses filming to start sipping the
cuppa. The two crawlers exchange a look, get up, move in menacingly on either side of him.
He sips happily till he notices their menacing look, then ….. something catches his attention
and he points.
CAMERA 2: Oh look - Skippy .
The two crawlers look up, then back to each other.
ONE & TWO: Lunch!!
They race off after it. Spot out.
COMPERE: And now comes the biggest challenge of them all. Can they survive …
Dramatic chords again as lights come up to reveal a bush campsite and a number of people
in dishevelled Scout uniforms. As the Scouts go about duties, the same two camera persons
leap about filming them. The Scout characters can be played by the same people as before.
ALL:
The Scout Camp!
COMPERE: "Survivor VI : Wombat Patrol". In our first episode patrol Leader Cyril and Patrol
Second Sage led their hairy-nosed patrol into the unknown wilderness known as
Cataract. Samson survived the Flying Fox, but not the Kybo. He was first to go. In
episode 2, water ran low, Celine dug deep, and struck the water main. The Patrol that
bathed together, no longer stank.. Tonight, with food running low, who will be the first
to yell …. I surrender?
68
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
CYRUS:
I can't take it anymore!
COMPERE: Close enough (Signalling the camerapersons onto him)
CYRUS:
I can't take it! My stomach is churning worse than Silverchair with an incredibly bad
sound mix. I have to eat! I have to eat! (The cameras come in close. After a pause)
How was that?
COMPERE: Great on the starvation. Lose the Silverchair. Parents don't mosh.
SIMPSON:
Then where did my little brother come from?
COMPERE: That was more Barry White than Silverchair.
SIMPSON:
What, that fat guy that can't sing?
CAMERA 1: No, that was Elvis. (The two camera persons pause filming for a self
congratulatory high-five)
CYRIL:
None of us is getting fat unless we solve the food problem. Now can we get on with it?
COMPERE: Sure kid. But can we go for take 2 on the Silverchair line first?
CYRUS:
How about … (Going dramatic) My stomach is churning worse than when Madonna
murders "American Pie" …. ?
SIMPSON:
I could murder a meatpie.
COMPERE: (Unimpressed) Great … (Turning immediately) Are the scriptwriters in yet?
CAMERA 2: They're in the jacuzzi.
COMPERE: Hm. Ten scriptwriters in a jacuzzi. What's that a recipe for?
SAGE:
Alphabet soup?
PATROL:
(Drooling) Soup ………
COMPERE: (To camera persons) Grab that shot! Get the tongues, get the tongues …
CYRIL:
For crying out loud …
COMPERE: We'll film the tears in a minute. Anyone feel like fainting? (The whole Patrol faints)
Anyone feel like taking an acting class and then fainting?
CELINA:
(Struggling up) Mine was genuine.
CAMERA 1: So was Madonna's wedding. It still wasn't convincing. (Laughs and high fives)
SIMPSON:
If we're gonna convince the general public we're on a Scout Camp, hadn't we better
make everything look more real?
COMPERE: Now you're talking. So what do you need?
69
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
SIMPSON:
Boom Box, Porta-loo, Camper-fridge, week's supply of Mars bars and fifty two litre
bottles of Coke.
CAMERA 2: We've got all that back at base.
COMPERE: You're on television. You have to give people what they expect, not what's real.
CELINA:
Do they expect us to die?
COMPERE: (Eagerly approaching her) Could you do that? (Cameras close in)
CYRIL:
Over my dead body!
COMPERE: (Swinging around) Even better!! (Cameras leap about and closer)
CYRIL:
Nobody dies in Cyril's Patrol!
COMPERE: You get that? We can use it in the promo.
SAGE:
You want death in the promo? How about we butcher a pig?
CAMERA 2: Sure. But then, who's going to compere the show? (Laughs and high fives)
CYRIL:
He was talking roast pork..
CAMERA 1: So were we (Yet another indulgent high five)
COMPERE: Look fellas. All this stuff about bacon's making me peckish. Any fast thoughts on the
food front? Cause I really need to be getting back for lunch.
CYRUS:
That skippy was pretty tasty.
COMPERE: Naturally they're an endangered species.
CYRIL:
Then you two have something in common.
CAMERA 1: (Laughing) Nice one Cyril … (Thumbs up)
COMPERE: The only un-endangered species in this country are the unemployed (The camera
persons take the hint and leap back to work) Okay, look, let's skip the food …
SCOUTS:
Again?!?!
COMPERE: Oh, relax. The cameras always add weight anyway.
SIMPSON:
Try telling that to my tapeworm.
COMPERE: Try renting him out to Ally McBeal. And while he's starving, we'll get on with the
voting. Close on me. Let's get serious now … (The cameras swing round to him.
The scouts start distributing pens and paper and writing their votes.) Do I look
concerned?
CAMERA 2: Your wife just had a phone call from Shane Warne.
COMPERE: What?!?!?!?!?
70
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
CAMERA 1: Now you look concerned.
COMPERE: Mongrels ………
CAMERA 2: (Reminding) Rolling ….
COMPERE: (Instantly recovering) Mongrels are prowling all around them. Fear and hunger are
their constant companions. Yet now … who leaves ….. and who stays … on …. the …
Wombat patrol …
SCOUTS:
Fatso Patrol!
COMPERE: What?
SAGE:
We changed it after the Olympics.
COMPERE: Can they do that?
CAMERA 1: Not very PC.
COMPERE: I'll talk to Jenny Craig. (Resuming) Their waistlines contract, but the tension expands.
Patrol Leader Cyril counts the votes. Who will be making the fearsome exit? (Camera
1 goes across) Here comes the first name.
CYRIL:
As usual … one vote for me. Thanks, brothers.
COMPERE: The Patrol Leader takes the first blow. Is his authority at stake, or is that on the menu
for dinner? We're at fever pitch now. Wait for it …. Wait for it ….
CYRIL:
(Has counted through the rest) And the other four are not for me, but are unanimous.
COMPERE: A resounding result. One for the Patrol Leader: four for the Patrol's weakest link. And
that person is………..
CAMERA 2: The compere! (They both leap in, close, delighted, and start recording him)
COMPERE: They can't do that. I'm not even a contender. No, not me you fools! Film them. We're
after a loser. I don't qualify (He backs out, the cameras following eagerly) Cut it,
will you? We can't use this. I've won seven Logies. One of them legitimately. BadenPowell is going to hear about this! I'll be speaking to him personally!
He has backed off. The camera persons pause to look at each other.
CAMERA 1: Is that possible?
CAMERA 2: After the Network has finished with him? Could be …
They resume filming gleefully and follow Compere off.
CYRUS:
At last … we're alone!
SIMPSON:
If only I was saying that to my girlfriend.
CYRIL:
She'll be begging soon enough. Now that you're a star. Alright Fatsoes. The ratings
from that effort should just about pay for the new den. Now for our Group Campsite.
71
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Patrol Leader Sage … would you do the honours? (He has produced a mobile phone
and punched in a number. He hands over the phone)
SAGE:
Be proud to, Patrol Leader Cyril. Hello? Jamie Drurie? How would you feel about
doing a Campsite Blitz?
GRAND CENTRAL STATION
Rob Lang & Mark Fisher
A
Introduction
B
We just arrived at the station
Time is short we have to stand in the queue
Check the bags and tickets
Race for the platform, the train is due
C
We're waiting at the station for the five fifty four
When it arrives the guard will call out - all aboard
We're waiting at station in anticipation
I think I hear the train, no it is my imagination
The porters carry luggage to the east and the west
The stationmaster's getting out the watch from his vest
I hear the whistle blowing, passengers are flowing
Up onto the platform, its time that we were off and going
Got your luggage, where's the ticket, what's the time?
Got them in my hands and it is six-oh-nine
That must have been the overnight express running late
Put down the bags we'll simply have to sit and wait
I think I'll read the paper, it's called the Weekly Trader
The station master says the train will be a little later
72
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
SFX:
Cityrail chime
Voiceover:
The train on platform one is running approximately 20minutes late, Cityrail
apologizes for any inconvenience caused.
SFX:
Cityrail chime
D
Dialogue
P1:
The trains late …… again.
P2:
Yeah. Wish there was something to do until the train comes, it could be ages. They
say 20 minutes, but what they really mean is ……. sometime before tomorrow.
P4:
Dad says that the trains are always late getting him to work. Cityrail never can get it
right.
P1:
If it rains - the trains are late.
P2:
If it's hot - the trains are late.
P3:
If it's windy - the lines get knocked down - and the trains late.
P1:
And when it does get here - the air con never works, it's either an iceberg or a furnace.
P3:
Hey guys - check out that weird dude over there.
E
Music
F
Dialogue
P1:
Do you catch the train all the time?
P2:
Yeah, cause you can entertain us anytime. Anything's better than sitting here waiting
for the train.
P4:
That was the best dancing I've seen since those old music videos from the 80s.
P3:
Quick question. Why were you dancing on the platform?
DANCER:
Cause it's like that!!!!!!
K
We're waiting at the station for the five fifty four
When it arrives the guard will call out - all aboard
We're waiting at station in anticipation
I think I hear the train, no it is my imagination
The porters carry luggage to the east and the west
The stationmaster's getting out the watch from his vest
I hear the whistle blowing, passengers are flowing
Up onto the platform, its time that we were off and going
"All aboard ….." what's the time?
The train is on it's way and it is seven-oh-nine
73
Central Coast Gang Show 2002
We're moving down the platform getting onto the train
Can hardly wait until it starts to move again
Now we've left the station, with determination
I only hope that we can make it
Only hope that we can make it
Only hope that we can make it to our destination
L
Playout
BALLET FOR MALES
Adapted by Central Coast Gangshow
A
Dialogue
PRINCIPAL: Good evening. One never knows what to expect does one? But there is nothing phoney
about it I assure you. Even these legs are real. I am the principal of the advanced
school of classical ballet - exclusively for males! That's men. Many people have
flighty ideas concerning young men who take up this form of livelihood but I assure
them they have been misled. I have had many successes with my pupils. You have
heard of the famous Nureyev, Njinsky and Helpman (Pause) so have I! It is my
pleasure to take you into my studio where you will meet some of the more advanced
members of my academy and they themselves will take over and explain to you just
what this strenuous training has done for them. (He claps his hands twice and the
curtain opens to reveal four dancers in typical poses) Soon some of these boys will
be dancing before the Queen in a charity performance.
NORM:
(Breaks pose, and asides to audience) I didn't know the Queen could dance.
PRINCIPAL: (Ignoring interruption) First of all I would like to introduce to you Gaylord Smythe.
GAYLORD: (Butch character) Well, I used to be a foreman supervising the men who bolt the
wings on planes and I never could get anyone to bolt them on properly so I had to
give it up 'cos business was dropping off (Pause). Now, I'm much better, I just start to
dance and everyone bolts.
PRINCIPAL: (Clears throat) You'll never believe this but he went down in the splits in two weeks.
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Central Coast Gang Show 2002
GAYLORD: Yes, and I took three weeks to get up.
PRINCIPAL: Actually, Gaylord has shown that twenty pirouettes is very effective for your balance
and poise.
GAYLORD: (Does a pirouette) Yes, as effective as half a dozen cans of V.B.(Staggers)
PRINCIPAL: (A little too quickly) Thank you Gaylord … and now, my Russian pupil, Ivor Giddoff.
(Ivor shrugs and starts to leave) No. No! come back here! (Ivor returns) Ladies and
Gentlemen, Ivor Giddoff. (Ivor shrugs again and about to leave when Principal
clears his throat loudly -Ivor then moves to microphone)
IVOR:
(In Russian accent) Hello to you. When I was liddle boy, I always want to be belly
dancer.
PRINCIPAL: (Smiling to audience) That’s ballet dancer!
IVOR:
Yah, belly dancer, and dance with Maggott Fountain.
PRINCIPAL: (Turning to Ivor in alarm) That's Margot Fontaine! She is a dame!
IVOR:
You telling me … (Does gesture of feminine form)
PRINCIPAL: (Clears throat) Thank you Ivor! (Wipes forehead with large hanky) Next, I would
like you to meet (Pronounced slowly and carefully) Rufas Nails. (Principal gestures
to a big rough looking fellow)
RUFAS:
(Slightly gay voice) I was a ballet dancer ages and ages ago but I then became a boxer.
PRINCIPAL: Really, wasn't that a bit rough on you?
RUFAS:
No not at all. They don't call me Rufas Nails for nothing you know (Proudly)
Sometimes I would box 2 or 3 at the same time.
PRINCIPAL: How did you do that?
RUFAS:
Easy, just a big piece of cardboard and some sticky tape …….
PRINCIPAL: Ah yes, you used to box groceries at Woolies. (To audience) But then Rufas Nails
returned to ballet dancing (To Rufas) And how was it?
RUFAS:
Well I was a little rusty at first (Pause) But I soon got back into it (Does a fancy
arabesque) The only difficulty was … getting out of it (Rufas struggles)
PRINCIPAL: Thank you Rufas. And last but not least our very own Norman Rogan.
NORM:
(Aussie character wearing tutu and football socks) G'Day viewers. Me names
Norm. As you may have guessed I play football as well as dancing in ballets. But it's a
rough life, all that running and jumping and body contact (Acts out as he speaks and
pants at the end) So to relax ….. (Pause) I play football!
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Central Coast Gang Show 2002
PRINCIPAL: Norman, perhaps you could show us your favourite ballet position (Noman goes to
move forward but trips over his feet and falls over)
GAYLORD: He said your favourite position ….. not your usual!!
NORM:
(Recovers and moves to mic, somewhat embarrassed) I like third position. It's great
as long as you don't stay too long. If you do stay in it too long only two things can
happen. You will either fall flat on your face or you'll stay in it for life.
PRINCIPAL: Thank you Norman, right now places boys (They go into position as Principal
addresses audience) As a surprise item the final year class will be joining us, as we
dance a short excerpt from The Nutcracker. I am sure that this has been an
enlightening experience for many of you and I hope that after you have seen our
demonstration many of you will hasten to enrol in our school for ballet. We still have
vacancies. (He looks at Rufas who is still struggling in his arabesque tangle) If you
don't get out of that position Rufas, we shall have another vacancy! (2 others help him
out) Here we go then …. Ladies and gentlemen. The Nutcracker.
B
Music
ALL MY LOVING
John Lennon & Paul McCartney
A
Introduction
B
Close your eyes and I'll kiss you,
Tomorrow I'll miss you;
Remember I'll always be true.
And then while I'm away,
I'll write home ev'ry day,
And I'll send all my loving to you.
C
I'll pretend that I'm kissing
The lips I am missing
And hope that my dreams will come true.
And then while I'm away,
I'll write home ev'ry day,
And I'll send all my loving to you.
D
All my loving, I will send to you
All my loving, darling I'll be true
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Central Coast Gang Show 2002
FINALE
TOGETHER
Words & Music: Ralph Reader
A
Introduction
B
Time once again for our parting song,
Time for our final bow,
But as we go our separate pathways,
Memories will linger on.
C
Together, when we’re all together
We know how lucky we are
The world around us is everything,
The sound of music, the songs we sing,
And even in the coldest winter,
The warmest summer arrives,
We share together, when we’re together
The best years of our lives.
THIS LAND OF AUSTRALIA
Words & Music: Ken Bayly
D
Introduction
E
Land dormant for endless years
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Central Coast Gang Show 2002
Land woken by pioneers
Strong in their quest for a new tomorrow, on they toiled
'Cross rivers and mountain range,
Then over the rolling plain, building
The nation we love
F
This land of Australia, this land of ours
Built into nationhood by bold pioneers.
We pray that thy people, ever may be,
A nation worthy of service to thee.
Proud of their heritage thy sons may be
So may their future be great and free.
May truth be her watch-word,
Peace be her way,
That every nation may honor her name.
SCOUTS AND GUIDES OF AUSTRALIA
Words & Music: Ken Bayly
G
Introduction
H
The time to end our show has come ‘round once again
And just before we take our final bow
We just want to remind you of who we really are
Despite the many characters we play
I
We’re the Scouts & Guides of Australia
Every single one in the show
That’s the secret of every Gang Show
That’s the reason why we’re here to tell you
Every time we sing our finale
We want to make it clear
That we wear our uniform so proudly
Scouts and Guides of gang Show
MAKE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE
Words & Music: Ralph Reader
H
Introduction
I
Make friends with people, let everyone know
People are people, anywhere you may go
Over the skyline, far over the sea
There, there are people who like us know this should be.
Every land and every nation, longs for a time so blest
When we find the sun and we all are one
From the north, south, east and west
Make friends with people, wherever you are
'Till the war drums are no longer and the battle flags are furled
in the Parliament of man, the Federation of the World
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Central Coast Gang Show 2002
WHEN IRISH EYES ARE SMILING
Music: Ernest R Ball
Words: Chauncey Olcott & Geo. Graff Jnr.
G
Introduction
H
When Irish eyes are smiling, sure it's like a morn in Spring
In the lilt of Irish laughter, you can hear the angels sing
When Irish hearts are happy, all the world seems bright and gay,
And when Irish eyes are smiling, sure they steal your heart away.
ANTARCTICA
Words & Music: Ken Bayly
A
Introduction
B
Oh it's great to be in Antarctica
It is incredibly nice
In the snow and ice
So far away from other lands
Under aurora australis
There's always plenty to charm us
As we swim about from floe to floe
To find our feathered friends
Oh it's great to be in Antarctica
Far from the noise and confusion
Here in the peace and seclusion
Here in the land of the midnight sun.
WILLOW, TIT WILLOW
Words: W S Gilbert Music: Arthur Sullivan
M
Introduction
N
On a tree by a river a little tom tit
Sang "Willow, tit willow, tit willow!"
And I said to him "Dicky bird, why do you sit
Singing 'willow, tit willow, tit willow'?
WITH CAT LIKE TREAD
Words: W S Gilbert Music: Arthur Sullivan
JJ
With cat like tread, upon our prey we steal,
In silence dread, our cautious way we feel
No sound at all!
We hardly speak a word,
A fly's foot fall would be distinctly heard
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Central Coast Gang Show 2002
KK
Group 1
Come, friends, who plough the sea,
Truce to navigation, take another station
Let's vary piracee, with a little burglaree!
Group 2
Ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra
Ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra
Ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,ra,Ta-ran-ta-ra-ra-ra
STOMP
LL
Stomp
CRAZY HORSE & STOP THE ROCK
Apollo 440
MM
Bows
Curtain Down
ALL MY LOVING
John Lennon & Paul McCartney
NN
Introduction
OO
Close your eyes and I'll kiss you,
Tomorrow I'll miss you;
Remember I'll always be true.
And then while I'm away,
I'll write home ev'ry day,
And I'll send all my loving to you.
PP
All my loving, I will send to you
All my loving, darling I'll be true
QQ
Dialogue
Person 1 and person 2 walk forward to front on either side of the stage.
PERSON 1:
I get it now. Get ready to stop the rock with the fly boys and the nutcracker.
PERSON 2:
I hardly think so.
CAST 1:
OTHER)
(Loud voice but does not move) ARE YOU READY? ( 1 AND 2 LOOK AT EACH
CAST 2:
NUTCRACKER!!
CAST 3:
COME FLY WITH ME………
1 and 2 look worried and walk toward each other in the centre.
CAST 4:
STOP THE ROCK.
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Central Coast Gang Show 2002
CAST 1,2,3 & 4:
STOP THE ROCK
All cast start to chant "STOP THE ROCK"
PERSON 1 & 2:
I've got a bad feeling about this
FULL CAST: FINALE MEGAMIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FINALE MEGAMIX
Various
RR
Music
Curtain down
SS
Playout
81