“STUBBORN”
Psalm 32
March 14, 2010
A husband and wife were taking a long drive out in the country and they got into a fight. They
fussed back and forth for a while. Then they lapsed into silence, both of them refusing to speak
to the other. They had gone on like this for a while when they passed a mule standing in a
pasture. Husband looks over at the wife. “Relative of yours?” He asked. Wife didn’t miss a
beat. “Yep”, she said, “by marriage.”
If you haven’t spent much time around mules you might not catch that the husband and wife
were calling each other stubborn. Some of us are old enough to remember pulling on a mule’s
halter as hard as we could pull while Granddaddy hollered and slapped its rear end. And that
was just to get it to come out of the stall!
But the rest of you will just have to take our word for it that when someone says “stubborn as a
mule” that’s just about as stubborn as you can get.
Stubborn. Think about a poker player on a mission to gamble until they win. Or a politician
determined to cover up an adulterous affair from a media just as determined to uncover it and
publish the details. Or better yet, a 16 year old who has made up their mind to attend a certain
party and parents who have made up their minds the teen-ager will not be going. And you will
be getting close to understanding what the phrase “stubborn as a mule” really means.
The Psalmist who wrote our scripture this morning says we can be especially stubborn when it
comes to sin. Holding on to it. Refusing to give it up. Even when it is clearly destroying us.
“Before I acknowledged my sin”, the Psalmist writes, “My body was wasting away. I cried all
the time. I had no strength. My conscience was heavy day and night. There was no relief while I
stubbornly stuck to my sin.”
•
•
•
•
A drug addict – emaciated, wasting away, hair failing out.
A person close to tears all the time, hiding things from people, covering up the truth
Someone tossing and turning all night with anxiety, fear, maybe even a guilty conscience.
All refusing to give up what is killing them.
And not just those extreme situations. We can be stubborn about things as simple as cell phones.
We all know talking on a cell phone while we drive is dangerous. We all have been in traffic
situations where we know our judgment was impaired because we were on the phone. And we
all know someone who has been in a wreck or witnessed a wreck where one or both parties were
on their cell phone. But, how many of us last week talked on the phone at least once while we
were driving? (And don’t raise your hands because that would mean I might have to raise mine
too.)
Stubborn.
How stubbornly we cling to the very things that would kill us. We can be stubborn about
tradition – doing things the way they have always been done.
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In my grandmother’s hometown I heard the story told once about a bride who fixed pot roast for
supper. She bought a roast – cut it in half – put each half in a pot with carrots and potatoes. Her
husband figured it was so they would eat half tonight and half later. But when they were done,
she took both halves out of their pots and put them together on a platter with the vegetables.
“Why do you do that?” He asked. “Well, that’s the way my mother always did.”
So the next time he saw his mother-in-law he asked her why she cooked pot roast in two halves.
“Because that’s the way my mother did.”
Then he was really curious so he went to see Granny and asked the same question. She looked at
him kinda funny and said “well, I had to cook roast that way because I never had a pot big
enough to cook a whole roast in.”
Stubborn.
“While I stayed stubborn”, the Psalmist writes, “my body wasted away. My strength dried up
inside me.”
Some of the hardest counseling sessions I ever have are with people who have stubbornly made
up their minds that nothing anybody can say or do will make a difference in their situation.
• they are stuck
• they have tried everything
• nothing has worked and nothing will work.
Usually it is the frantic spouse who calls me and says please come visit so-and-so. So I go, and
when I get there it’s usually a long explanation about how they are only going to get worse.
“Have you talked about this with your doctor?” I ask.
Spouse calls in from the other room. “No she hasn’t”.
“There’s nothing the doctor can do” is the stubborn answer.
Or maybe it’s rational.
“Have you tried talking to your son about this?”
…..15 reasons why the son won’t listen and why talking can’t possibly make a difference….
Or maybe it’s financial.
“Have you tried a monthly budget?”
“Budgets won’t help when there’s not enough money to go around.”
“How about cutting down on the Wal-Mart trips?”
“Gotta have this – gotta have that.”
“No solution but for me to commit suicide and let my family collect the life insurance.
And people believe these things when they say them. I have seen moderately healthy people
convince themselves they were invalids and then become invalids.
I have seen people stubbornly refuse to try to fix a relationship while there was still a chance –
but stubborn – until the marriage became divorce – until the child left home never to return –
until the parent grew old and died.
Stubborn. How stubbornly we cling to the very things that would kill us.
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“My body wasted away” the Psalmist writes. “My tears fell night and day. My strength dried
up.”
My stubbornness was the death of me.
In our Bible Study this Lent, our author really bears down on how stubborn we people can be
when it comes to our money. Our session this week talked about the strange phenomenon of
abundance and scarcity mentalities. An abundance mentality is a willingness to share what we
have with others. Ironically enough, you will find the most examples of abundance mentalities
among the poorest communities of the world. African tribes. Family units in Eastern Asia –
South America.
If I have nothing but one handful of corn meal in the whole house, but you have none, I will
share with you what I have. Because that is how we survive.
At the other end of the spectrum however, you will find what psychologists call “Scarcity
Mentalities”. Folks in America and Europe with savings accounts, houses with no mortgage and
retirement funds who appear to the rest of the world to be rich, actually believe themselves to be
poor and live in constant fear that they will run out of money.
So despite the counsel of our ancient Scriptures, which tells us:
• It is better to give than to receive. (Acts:20:35)
• Give and it will be given to you. (Luke 6:38)
• It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the
Kingdom of God (Matthew 19:24)
Despite this counsel, we stubbornly cling to our money – hoarding – because of our fear, the
very thing that threatens to destroy us. And that fear, my friends, doesn’t just apply to
individuals. It applies to churches as well.
Most churches, at some point in their existence know the challenge of not being sure of how the
power bill next month is going to be paid. So the church has a choice to make: Faith or fear.
LIVE BY FAITH – OR LIVE IN FEAR.
And churches who do not completely cast out the spirit of fear, find themselves slipping a little
into a savings account – then a money market account – then in a high interest CD - $50,000 $100,000 – tucked into a CD. But still the treasurer’s report at the Board Meeting is received
with fear. “Do we have enough money?” “Do we have enough?” And of course, the answer is
“No.” Because no amount of money – no matter how much – can cast out fear.
The only thing that can cast out fear is Faith.
And so somebody says we have to protect this beautiful church of ours against our fear of the
future, and somehow they manage to pull together several million dollars for an endowment, the
principle of which can never be touched.
Meanwhile, out in the world, earth quakes rock the poorest countries. War ravages whole
continents. The Holy Spirit swirls and calls and beckons and calls. And still inside the walls of
the beautiful old church, people bicker back and forth across the aisles about which committee
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gets more of their now $500,000 budget. All around them the Holy Spirit hovers around like a
cloud, a wind that blows to unsettle their minds:
- to call to their dreams
- to offer faith in the place of their fear.
But the wall of their fear is strong, and with bitter cry, the Spirit leaves the stone walls of the old
church, and blows down the road to the little store front church revival, where there is not
enough money in the bank to pay the rent at the end of the month, but tonight’s offering is for the
Battered Women’s Shelter. And every penny of the offering will be delivered there first thing in
the morning.
How stubbornly we cling to the very thing that would destroy us.
“Lost in my stubbornness, I cried all night and all day”, the Psalmist writes. “Until finally, O
Lord, I turned to you. I acknowledged my sin to you. I trusted in you, and your steadfast love
and forgiveness healed me. Now I am glad and I rejoice in the Lord, our God.”
I believe what the Psalmist is telling you and me this morning is that at some point in our lives
we have to reach the understanding that we are not in charge. Not only are we not in charge
now, but we have never been, and we will never be. The only thing we are in charge of is one
simple choice:
Will we live faithful to God or
Will we live in fear –
In fear of sickness, violence, of broken and hurting relationships
Fear of running out of money
Fear of death.
The Williams family of 6 Sherwood Court is a three dog family. Now, that might be because I
was a big fan of “3 Dog Night” years ago, but more likely because Marty and I did not have the
intestinal fortitude to stand up to our begging children. But anyway, I have many opportunities
to observe dog behavior.
Two of our dogs are obedient. They decided long ago that they are not in control. The humans
are in control. And even if the humans tell you to do something you don’t agree with, it’s best to
do it, because they love and they trust their humans, even when they don’t understand.
- why they can’t run out into the road
- why they have to walk on a leash in the park
- and why they can’t eat the neighbors cat food.
That’s two of our dogs. But then there’s Patch. Patch is the Alpha female and she has never
accepted that she is not in charge. If the humans don’t want you to do it, just wait until the
humans aren’t watching and do it anyway, because maybe, humans don’t really understand about
dogs, and things like roads, and leashes, and illegal foods.
One day not long ago we took the dogs out to explore the new Smithfield Greenway. The dogs
were on leashes. Two were just as happy as they could be, walking close to their humans,
obedient on the leash – smelling every wonderful smell and enjoying every detail of that
beautiful joyous walk. And then there was Patch. Pulling at her leash, determined to go her own
way, looking for every opportunity to break away – to put her will against her human’s will, in a
constant struggle the whole walk.
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When we got home from the walk all three dogs were tired and laid down for naps. You could
hear Lady snore all over the house. Rufus was so relaxed and so happy, he laid on his back with
his feet straight up in the air while he slept. (The perfect picture of relaxation!)
And then there was Patch. Before she could settle down she had to lick her paw. She has a lick
granuloma and for those dog lovers among us you know that is the doggy equivalent of biting
her fingernails. She has licked that sore raw and yes, the psychiatrist at my house has even put
her on doggie Prozac, but without much success. When she finally went to sleep, moving her
legs, she groaned and barked, restless in her sleep, dreaming of dark and frightening things
creeping out of the darkness of her mind.
Now I will admit to you this morning that Patch is my dog. And I love her to distraction. She
and I have a whole lot of things in common (which is of no surprise to you). And her greatest
gift to me is teaching me the lesson of our Psalmist this morning:
“Do not be like a horse or a mule without understanding, whose temper must
be curbed with bit and bridle, else it will not stay near you. Many are the
torments of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds those who trust in the Lord.”
You see, I am not in control of this life. I have never been. Nor will I ever be. All I can be is
faithful – faithful to the one who is in control.
And when I finally accept this and release my Stubbornness, I find I am finally free.
Free to “Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, O Righteous”
Free to “Shout for joy, all you upright in heart.”
Thank You, Lord, for this teaching today.
Amen