ROBIN SHINE - CIVIL CELEBRANT Reg No A6267
12 Wilson Street, CAREY PARK WA 6230
T: 0417 936 507
E:[email protected]
INF
OR
A6267
MA
TIO
Planning your
Ceremony
N
PLANNING YOUR WEDDING CEREMONY
A basic structure for your wedding ceremony is as follows (of course you can adapt this basic structure in
any way you choose - the compulsory components are noted in red, but even with these there is flexibility
around placement in the ceremony):
1. Bridal Procession (may be accompanied by music/song)
2. Introduction (explaining your views on marriage, or the story of your journey together so far, or just a
general welcome… )
3. Reading(s) - optional
4. Monitum (this is a legal admonition found in most marriage legislation in the western world and the
celebrant is required by Australian law to read this during the ceremony before the exchange of vows.)
5. Giving away or Presentation of the Bride or Presentation of the Bride and Groom or Blessing of the
Parents (optional, of course)
6. The Asking (formal precursor to the Vows) - you can choose what words you wish to say here.
7. Vows – it is a legal requirement that you make promises to one another in front of the celebrant
and witnesses. Some prescribed words are required legally but otherwise you can choose your own
wording.
Vows must include these words:
I call upon the people here present to witness that I (full names) take you (full names) to be my lawful
wedded wife/husband/spouse. (Your full legal names must be said at some stage during the ceremony
and during the vows is one place in which this can happen.)
8. Exchange of ring/s - it is traditional to exchange rings but not everyone chooses to do this. There are
other ways of symbolising your commitment to one another such as handfasting and binding rituals,
sand ceremony and sharing of wine….
9. Reading - optional
10. Other reading(s) (optional)
11. Declaration of marriage.
12. The signing of the marriage certificate and the register, at which time you may choose to have music or
a song.
13. Presentation of the certificate to the couple
14. Blessing (optional)
15. Announcement of the newlyweds (Not all brides choose to change their names. I need to know your
decision in this matter so that I can introduce you appropriately.)
16. Guests congratulate the newlyweds.
17. Music/song (optional).
18. Music can play a big part in personalising your ceremony so you should choose your music carefully.
SETTING THE SCENE
A Wedding Ceremony is a little piece of theatre and creating mood and ambience is important to a
ROBIN SHINE - CIVIL CELEBRANT Reg No A6267
12 Wilson Street, CAREY PARK WA 6230
T: 0417 936 507
E:[email protected]
successful outcome. Things to consider:
It can be nice to play background music as the guests arrive. Having some seats arranged in a semi-circle, the
first row of which starts about three metres from the wedding party so as not to lose intimacy and atmosphere,
can encourage guests to gather in (they have a tendency to hang back otherwise). Some couples choose to have
a red carpet which creates an aisle in the centre of the semi-circle through which the bridal procession enters.
By the time the bride arrives, the groom and groomsmen are in place.
Many couples choose to play a special and or significant piece of music as the bride processes in. One of
the benefits of having a rehearsal is that it allows for some practising of the Bridal Procession to ensure that
bridesmaids set an appropriate pace for walking in (always a challenge with nervous attendants) and to make
sure the chosen piece of music is long enough for the circumstances etc.
It is my job as your celebrant to manage all aspects of the ceremony, including ensuring that everyone, including
guests, is appropriately positioned prior to commencement.
In the sample ceremonies which I can provide for you, you will find a range of “set” introductions from which
many couples choose. However, you may like to really personalise your ceremony by creating your own unique
introduction to set the scene for your special day. I can help you with putting this together – or you may be fine
to do it yourselves. You may like to choose someone close to you, or someone who knows you well to deliver
this introduction. Alternatively, I am happy to do that for you. As with all aspects of the ceremony, I will do as
much or as little as you want.
READINGS
Readings can be a way of really putting your own stamp on the ceremony. There are many ways of accessing
great readings. I can provide you with quite a few, but you may have your own favourite prose or poetry and
the internet is a great resource. Readings are another way of involving special people and in that way really
personalising the ceremony. Of course, I am happy to do the readings if you want me to, or if you don’t think any
of your family or friends would be up to it!
It is important that the reader has a strong voice (or they can use my microphone so that s/he can be heard
by everyone). All the readers should be aware that ceremonial reading is much slower than other reading, and
you should not be shy about asking them to practise beforehand. The reader will usually stand in the middle
of the aisle and address the bride and groom. I will introduce each reader by name, and tell guests of their
connection with you (so you need to provide me with this information), and afterwards I will thank them for
their contribution to the ceremony.
MONITUM (a legal admonition)
Read by the celebrant, this is a solemn warning about marriage, adapted from Marriage Legislation:
I am authorised by law to solemnise marriage according to the laws of Australia.
Before you are joined together in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses, I am bound
to remind you publicly of the solemn, the serious and the binding nature of the relationship into which you are
now about to enter.
Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of a man to a woman to the exclusion of all others,
ROBIN SHINE - CIVIL CELEBRANT Reg No A6267
12 Wilson Street, CAREY PARK WA 6230
T: 0417 936 507
E:[email protected]
voluntarily entered into for life.
Presentation / Giving Away of the Bride/Presentation of the Bride and Groom/Blessing of the Parents
Traditionally, this has been the time when the father of the bride has formally handed over his daughter into the
care of her husband-to-be. Nowadays, people sometimes make other choices. For example, both sets of parents
can present their son and daughter to be married. Sometimes couples choose instead for both sets of parents to
give their blessing and/or promise to love and support them in their marriage, as they have done all their lives.
However you decide to do it, this part of the wedding offers an all too rare opportunity to honour your parents
and your relationship with them. It can also provide a moment of special intimacy with your parents that they
will treasure during this rite of passage (which is cause for both joy and tears for most parents) – so you might
like to give them a kiss or a hug, or shake hands. It is also an option not to have this as part of your ceremony.
The Asking
Below is a traditional version of the Asking. As long as the integrity of the intent and meaning is retained, you
can choose your own words for this important part of the ceremony.
Celebrant to the groom
Romeo, Will you take Juliet to be your lawful wedded wife? Will you love and respect her, be honest with her,
and stand by her through whatever may come, so you can genuinely share your life together?
Groom: I will.
Celebrant to the bride:
Juliet, Will you take Romeo to be your lawful wedded husband? Will you love and respect him, be honest with
him, and stand by him through whatever may come, so you can genuinely share your life together?
Bride: I will.
VOWS
I will ask you to face each other and look at each other, to hold both hands. There are a number of ways that you
can manage saying your vows:
• You can repeat the vows, phrase by phrase, after me
• You can read them to one another from my book
• You can put the words of your vows onto a small card and read then to one another.
• You can learn them off by heart (if you choose this option, I will have the vows in my copy of the ceremony
to back you up on the day if necessary).
An example of some wedding vows follows:
Groom:
I, Romeo, take you, Juliet, as my wife. I pledge to share my life openly with you, to speak the truth to you in love.
I promise to honour and tenderly care for you, to cherish and encourage your own fulfilment as an individual,
for the rest of my life.
Bride:
I, Juliet, take you, Romeo, as my husband. I pledge to share my life openly with you, to speak the truth to you
in love. I promise to honour and tenderly care for you, to cherish and encourage your own fulfilment as an
ROBIN SHINE - CIVIL CELEBRANT Reg No A6267
12 Wilson Street, CAREY PARK WA 6230
T: 0417 936 507
E:[email protected]
individual, for the rest of my life.
Some couples incorporate the ring ceremony into the vows and do not have a separate ring ceremony. This
is entirely up to you. There are examples of both ways of doing this in the Sample Ceremonies I can give
you. Some couples do not use the same words in the vows and ring ceremony as their partner. You can
choose to respond to your partner when you receive your ring - or not.
RING CEREMONY
The couple stay in the same position. Whoever has the rings (often the best man) and gives the bride’s ring
to the groom, who holds it over the tip of the appropriate finger, and repeats the words, phrase by phrase,
after the celebrant (or reads them). The groom then slides the ring onto the bride’s finger. If there are rings
for both, this procedure is repeated by the bride. There are some examples of the wording below.
Groom:
Juliet, This ring I give you, it is my personal gift, my personal promise of love and trust, and pride that you
are my wife.
Bride’s response:
Romeo, I accept your gift of this ring. I will wear it with love and pride all my life.
Bride:
Romeo, This ring I give you, it is my personal gift, my personal promise of love and trust, and pride that you
are my husband.
Groom’s response:
Juliet, it is with pride that I accept this ring. It will show the world that I am yours and you are mine.
DECLARATION OF MARRIAGE
There is flexibility around the wording of the Declaration. A very common format is shown below.
Celebrant:
Ladies and Gentlemen, Romeo and Juliet have declared before all of us that they will live together in
marriage. They have made special promises to each other. They have symbolised it by joining hands, taking
vows, and by exchanging rings.
So, therefore, on your behalf and on behalf of the community, I now declare Romeo and Juliet to be
husband and wife.
The bride and groom kiss.
THE SIGNING
During the signing of the register and the marriage certificate, you may like to have music playing.
PRESENTATION OF MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE
The celebrant presents the couple (or more traditionally the bride) with their marriage certificate.
ROBIN SHINE - CIVIL CELEBRANT Reg No A6267
12 Wilson Street, CAREY PARK WA 6230
T: 0417 936 507
E:[email protected]
BLESSING
You may choose to conclude your ceremony with a blessing. The Apache Wedding Prayer is an example of
such a blessing.
The Apache Wedding Prayer
Now you will feel no rain, for each will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each will be warmth for the other
Now you will feel no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons, but there are three lives before you:
his life, her life, and your life together.
May beauty surround you both on the journey ahead and through all the years.
May happiness be your companion to the place where the river meets the sun.
Go now to your dwelling to enter into the days of your life together.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.
Traditional
Or you may like all the guests to call out together a one word blessing. Or you may have a member of the
family who would be honoured to offer a blessing of some kind.
Finally, there is the announcement of the newlyweds and congratulations by guests.
I hope that you will find this information useful in planning and preparing for your wedding ceremony. It
is not meant to be a substitute for face to face contact with me so please feel free to call me or arrange to
meet with me as often as you like. My goal is for us to create together a unique ceremony which will form
a special part of memories of your Wedding Day. I also want you to be able to relax and enjoy yourself
knowing that we have covered all the bases in our preparation.
Robin