Pre-Marriage Program:
Wedding Information &
Policies
St. Fabian Parish
Farmington Hills, MI (rev. 6/12)
Christian Marriage is a sacrament of God’s love in our midst. Preparation for your wedding day
is two-fold: (1) preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage, and (2) preparation for your wedding
liturgy. In order to help you prepare adequately for both, St. Fabian Parish expects each engaged
couple to participate in the following:
 Couple will have an initial meeting with Fr. Jeff. Introductions will be made and couples’
questions will be discussed along with the completion of appropriate papers for marriage
in the Catholic Church. At this first meeting, the engaged couple will need to provide
recent copies (within the last 6 months) of their Baptismal certificates.
 Prior to this first meeting, complete the questionnaire forms sent to you via email from
the parish office. Email this completed form back to the Parish Secretary, Mary Doot
([email protected]) so that the proper paperwork is in place for the initial meeting.
 After the first meeting, the couple will contact the marriage counselor who will explain
how to go online to take a customized Pre-Marriage inventory (PREPARE). The engaged
couple will meet the professional marriage counselor for feed-back on their inventory.
This would normally involve three meetings, but could take more.
 The couple will review information regarding Natural Family Planning and attend one of
the Archdiocesan “Conjugal Love and Natural Family Planning” sessions.
 The engaged couple will contact the Minister of Music to discuss wedding music.
 The wedding rehearsal and celebration of the marriage will be discussed.
 The couple will have a final meeting with Fr. Jeff to review everything on their checklist
and make sure that all preparations have been completed.
Please see page 12 (IMPORTANT CHECKLIST) to keep track of each step.
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WEDDING INFORMATION & POLICIES AT ST. FABIAN PARISH
Congratulations on your approaching marriage! We at St. Fabian Parish are pleased that we can
assist you as you make your plans for this important day. The following policies are intended to
help you as you make your wedding plans; and to provide you with some basic information
about our parish wedding protocol. Perhaps this information will also answer some questions you
may have.
1.) Sacramental Preparation for Marriage
Within the six month period prior to the couple’s wedding date, Fr. Jeff will meet each couple to
ensure that all preparations are properly taken care of which are mandated by both Church and
civil laws. Forms need to be completed; discussion about pre-marriage programs and the
Sacrament of Marriage; questions from the engaged couple will be answered.
Prior to meeting Fr. Jeff, you will receive an email from the parish office with interactive premarriage forms to be filled out. Fill out all 4 pages and reply to the email prior to your meeting.
Come to your meeting with Fr. Jeff with a recently issued Baptismal certificate. (This
baptismal certificate is required for those who are baptized as Roman Catholics). This certificate
can be obtained by simply calling the parish of your baptism and requesting a copy for your
marriage files. The original certificate for Christians who are baptized but who are not
Catholic will provide the necessary and needed information for our files. (This original copy
will be returned as soon as the necessary information is obtained).
At the meeting with Fr. Jeff he will explain the Pre-Marriage inventory (PREPARE) to the
couple, and how to get into contact with the marriage counselor. Once the couple takes the
PREPARE inventory (which is completed online) the couple will schedule at least three
meetings with the marriage counselor to review the report.
The couple will review materials regarding Natural Family Planning (NFP) with Fr. Jeff. These
materials, including a set of two DVDS, are in the wedding packet. While a couple is encouraged
(not required) to take a full course in NFP, the couple is only required to attend one 2.25 hour
informational session about NFP entitled, “Conjugal Love and Natural Family Planning.” It is
the hope that this session – which will include testimonials from actual married couples who
practice NFP – will encourage engaged couples to learn more about NFP and make it a part of
their married life. Information on these informational sessions is provided in your packet.
2.) Preparing the Wedding Liturgy
Our Rehearsal Coordinator, (Anna Marie Kish 248-478-2770 or [email protected]) is able to
provide you with additional information beyond what is listed here. Please feel free to contact
her at least 6 months before your scheduled wedding, as you make your plans and to schedule
your wedding rehearsal.
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Weddings between two Catholics are expected to take place with Mass. The bride and groom
will be provided with congregational chairs and kneelers (if the couple is physically able to
kneel) set up in our extended sanctuary (the wider area in front of the altar). A wedding Mass
lasts approximately 50 minutes. We provide chairs and kneelers with this ceremony so the bride
and groom can sit comfortably during the Liturgy of the Word (approximately 15 minutes), and
during the distribution of Holy Communion to the congregation (time varies with the size of the
congregation—normally around 10 minutes), as well as kneel with the congregation during the
Eucharistic prayer (approximately ten minutes). In this way, the bride and groom and the
congregation will stand, sit and kneel at the same time. We discourage the use of only kneelers
for the bride and groom at this ceremony, because of its length.
Weddings between a Catholic and a Non-Catholic usually take place without Mass. The
wedding ritual at this liturgy is identical to that used with Mass (readings, homily, exchange of
vows and rings, nuptial blessing, etc.) the difference being that the Eucharist is not celebrated nor
is communion distributed, out of deference to the Non-Catholics who will attend the wedding
ceremony (including either the bride or groom). Only chairs (no kneelers) are used in this
ceremony. Further discussion about this type of wedding liturgy can be taken up with Fr. Jeff.
3.) Flowers, Decorations, Candles
Floral arrangements and bows are usually confined to the sanctuary area, and pews. While floral
arrangements are most welcome in the sanctuary (tiled area around the altar) flowers/floral
arrangements are not permitted on top of the altar itself. Please encourage the florist to arrive
within the one-hour time limit before the ceremony and finish setting up one-half hour before the
ceremony.
No tape or tacks are to be used in securing decorations. We suggest pipe cleaners.
The Unity Candle is not a requirement; in fact it is technically not a part of a Catholic wedding
liturgy. Those who wish to make use of one may consider a prayerful lighting of this symbol at
the head table at the reception (instead of in church) so as to bring this element of prayer to that
setting. This may be particularly meaningful for those guests who were not able to pray with you
and attend the liturgy in church. However, if a couple does choose to make use of the Unity
Candle in church, a stand is provided for it and it is positioned on the right side of the sanctuary.
The parish does not provide the candle.
The church is decorated according to the liturgical season of the Church. These decorations will
not be removed for your wedding for several reasons. First, there is every possibility that there
will be another wedding being celebrated the same day before or after your wedding, depending
upon the time you chose for yours. There is also the possibility that a funeral may be held that
same morning. Also, if your wedding is being celebrated at 2:00 pm, the church must be cleared
by 3:45 pm so that the sacrament of reconciliation and the Saturday evening liturgy can take
place in an appropriate atmosphere. There are time constraints involved in all of these
possibilities, so in order to make sure that there is time available for pictures instead of putting
church decorations back in place, the church decorations cannot be moved or changed.
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To assist you in planning your wedding, below is a general description of what you can expect
for church decorations throughout the year:
Early January—green
Ash Wednesday through Lent—purples, barren trees, few to no flowers, etc.
(Weddings are highly discouraged during Lent due to the
solemnity of the season.)
Easter season (Easter Sunday through Pentecost)—white & gold, flowers—
mostly white lilies mixed with yellow flowers
Pentecost (usually late May or early June) to early Sept.—summer greens and
pastels, flowers in summer colors
Early Sept. through the last Sunday in November—autumn colors and
decorations, dark greens, cinnamons, oranges, pumpkins, gourds, etc.
Advent (last Sunday of Nov. until Christmas)—deep purples or deep blues,
minimal flowers in deep burgundy
Christmas until Baptism of the Lord—whites and golds, poinsettia trees, and
poinsettias (white and red)
If you have any questions at all concerning church decorations, please call the parish office.
Please do not ask the Wedding Coordinator or the pastor to move any church decorations, as they
have been instructed not to do so. Thank you for your cooperation.
WHITE PLASTIC FLOOR RUNNERS ARE NOT PERMITTED. Due to many safety
regulations and the increased numbers of slip and fall accidents due to stumbling on the runners,
it has become necessary to prohibit these runners. We have a beautiful slate floor that is safer and
far more beautiful than a plastic covering.
4) The Rehearsal
Please contact the Rehearsal Coordinator at least six months prior to your wedding date. (Anna
Marie Kish 248-478-2770 or [email protected]) You will need to contact her. Please do not call
to set a rehearsal time with the Parish Secretary. Once your wedding is six months away, your
rehearsal can be firmed up in the Parish Calendar. We cannot guarantee the time of a rehearsal
until six months prior to the wedding due to the possibility of another couple choosing a wedding
time near yours.
The rehearsal is an important part of the wedding preparation. Much is to be accomplished in the
allotted hour. Because of this, the Rehearsal Coordinator will begin the rehearsal with those
present at the appointed time. Prompt arrival is appreciated and all those participating in the
ceremony (bridal party, readers, offertory participants, parents, etc.) should attend.
5) General Regulations for the Rehearsal and Wedding
A Wedding Coordinator WILL be present to assist you on the day of the service. The priest
and the Music Minister WILL NOT be present at the rehearsal. Please contact Tim Spriggs, the
Music Minister, directly ([email protected]) to obtain information regarding wedding music
guidelines/suggestions.
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An adult must supervise children attending the rehearsal and wedding. Children are not allowed
in the sanctuary for safety reasons. Also, a babysitting area is NOT available on the premises.
NO ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES WILL BE ALLOWED IN THE CHURCH OR ON
CHURCH PREMISES AT ANY TIME. Proper dress is also expected on the night of the
rehearsal. Shorts, tank tops, etc. are not appropriate within the church building.
Smoking is not permitted in the building at any time.
There is to be no rice, confetti, or birdseed thrown inside or outside the church. This is a
safety hazard as well as a tedious clean-up problem. Rice is food. Many people in the world
today live on handfuls of rice alone. Our own sensitivity as Christians in this matter is called
upon. Confetti and even birdseed can be most hazardous as many elderly people may slip and
fall with it under their feet.
Brides sometimes wonder about the appropriateness of their dress and the dresses of their
bridesmaid for church. Modesty is a virtue which modern dress-makers seem to have forgotten
about. If in doubt, ask yourself these questions: (1) Does the dress reveal things only a husband
should see? (2) Would you feel comfortable meeting Jesus wearing this dress? If the answer is
“no” to these questions, then perhaps a shawl is necessary.
6) Fees and Stipends
There are a number of costs associated with the preparation of a couple for the sacrament, as well
as for the ceremony. These fees and stipends reflect those costs. There is no fee charged for the
Sacrament of Marriage itself, and the parish is very willing to waive or cover these costs if a
couple is in a hardship situation. Fr. Jeff will gladly discuss this with you.
• PREPARE testing materials: $30. Payment is made online when it is taken.
• Three minimum required sessions with the marriage counselor: $225 (additional sessions, if
required or if desired are $60 per session). The payment for sessions is made directly to the
counselor.
• The cost of the Conjugal Love and Natural family Planning Presentation is $30. Payment will
be made to the Archdiocese upon registration.
• The stipend for Tim Spriggs, Parish Music Minister: $150. An envelope is provided in your
packet for his stipend.
• Many couples are often at a loss as to what kind of offering should be given to the parish and
the presider of their wedding. The Church maintains that there can be no monetary charge for
celebrating any of the Sacraments. A suggested stipend for the use of the church is $125; an
envelope is included for this purpose. Choosing to give something to the church and to the
presider is up to the couple, and by no means required.
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7) Photography and Videography
Photographs are an important part of your wedding day remembrances. However, they
should not become the central or most time-consuming process of the day. The photographer
is to see the Wedding Coordinator upon arrival at the church.
Video production companies are discouraged for the weddings here at St. Fabian (set-ups with
several TV monitors, etc.) Wiring on the floors or chairs has proven to be very dangerous even
when the wiring has been taped down. Our insurance company is very insistent upon this for
safety.
A receiving line after the ceremony is not permitted due to time constraints; most couples want
to sign the license with their witnesses and priest, and take pictures in church immediately after
the ceremony. This allows the couple to move quickly to the reception, where a receiving line is
traditionally held nowadays.
A fuller explanation of our wedding day policies regarding photography and videography is
provided on page 8, as a "memo" to your photographer/videographer. As long as we keep in
mind that this is a religious service, deserving a sense of decorum and reverence, then there
will be no problems.
Two separate sheets with these church policies are in your folder; please have the
photographer and/or videographer sign the sheet(s) so that you may return them to the
Parish Office.
8) Programs
Some couples wish to make a program for the wedding service, especially if a large number of
non-Catholics will be present. Printing all the words of the ceremony are·not recommended,
but a short outline can be helpful. Page 7 of this document has a sample order of the
ceremony, depending on whether or not it is a Mass (with reception of Holy Communion) or a
liturgy outside of Mass, in which case Holy Communion is not distributed. Please speak to the
priest celebrant about the type of liturgy you are planning.
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8
From:
To:
St. Fabian Church
Our Guest Photographer/Videographer
We are pleased to welcome you as a guest who will render an important and appreciated service to the
bride and groom. We also wish to remind you that above all else this is a religious ceremony and what we
do is something very sacred. The Wedding Coordinator who will be present on the day of the wedding
can answer any questions you may have.
Wedding Day Policies:
1. Please see the Wedding Coordinator upon arrival at the church.
2. Video production equipment is strongly discouraged. Electric wire on the floor, chairs, or pulpit is
not permitted. Wiring, even when taped down has proven dangerous and our insurance company will
not support this practice in this public space.
3. No church furniture is to be moved or stood upon; no equipment is to be placed on any furniture,
including pews.
Pictures can be taken of the bridal party and bride processing up the aisle. Once the ceremony begins,
pictures can only be taken from the side aisles and back of the church.
Cameras will not be allowed in or near the sanctuary (elevated areas of the altar, behind the altar), or near
the organist. Any photography or videotaping must be from designated areas. The Wedding
Coordinator will advise you of those areas.
NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY IS PERMITTED DURING THE CEREMONY.
The use of the sanctuary for pictures after the ceremony:
The taking of pictures is to be completed within one-half hour after all guests have been ushered from
the church. The church is also opened one hour before the ceremony in order that you get properly
set up before the ceremony. Special attention is called upon when there is another wedding that will
take place after yours. Please offer them the courtesy of using an uncluttered church as they prepare
for their ceremony.
At all times work is to be done quietly and inconspicuously realizing this is a religious ceremony. You
may be asked to leave by the Priest if he feels you are interfering with the solemnity of the
occasion or disrespecting our sacred space.
I have read and understand the policies of St. Fabian Parish regarding photography/videography.
Signed_______________________________________________________
Printed Name__________________________________________________
Name of couple:___________________________Date of Wedding _______
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MARRIAGE LICENSE INFORMATION SHEET
Legal Requirements
Birth Certificates:
Both the bride and the groom are required to present a certified copy of their birth certificate
at the time of application. Certificates of birth registration, hospital certificates and/or wallet
size birth certificates are not acceptable.
Foreign birth certificates must be translated into English and certified by a notary public.
Age of Applicants:
18 years of age without parental consent.
16 years of age with parental consent - including the presence of both parents at the time of
application.
When to Apply:
No earlier than 33 days and no later than 4 days before the wedding.
The recommended time for application is 2-3 weeks prior to the date of the wedding
ceremony.
The marriage license is void unless the marriage is solemnized within 33 days from the date
of application.
The license is valid only in the State of Michigan.
You can now apply for a marriage license on-line at: OAKGOV.COM/CLERKROD/VITAL
RECORDS/MARRI
Note: There is a mandatory three day waiting period between the date of application and
the date when the license is issued. Keep this in mind as you make your final preparation.
License Fee:
$20 per couple if at least one party is a Michigan resident.
$30 per couple if both parties are non-Michigan residents.
Cash only!!
No personal checks.
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Where to Apply:
Michigan residents should apply for a marriage license from the county in which either party
resides. Non-Michigan residents should apply for a marriage license from the county in
which the marriage ceremony will take place.
At least one of the parties must appear in person in order to apply for a marriage license.
Wayne County:
Detroit City-County Building
Office of the Wayne County Clerk
2nd Floor, Room 201
Detroit, MI - located at the corner of Woodward and
Jefferson Aves.
M-F 8:00-4:30 (313) 224-5515
www.wayne.mi.us/clerk_srvcs_marriagelic_
Oakland County:
Oakland County Court House
Office of Vital Records - Ground Floor
1200 N. Telegraph Rd.
Pontiac, MI - between Elizabeth Rd. and Dixie Highway
M-F 8:30-4:30 (810) 858-0571
OAKGOV.COM/CLERROD/VITALRECORDS/MARRI
Macomb County:
Macomb County Building
Marriage License Bureau/Office of the County Clerk
40 N. Gratiot - downtown Mt. Clemens
Mt. Clemens, MI - between Market and Cass Streets
M-F 8:30-4:30 (810) 469-5210
Macombcountymi.gov/clerksoffice/mar
Washtenaw County: Washtenaw County Court House
Office of Vital Records/Room 122
101 E. Huron
Ann Arbor, MI - located at the corner of Main and Huron
Streets
M-F 8:00-4:30 (810) 985-2200
Ewashtenaw.org/government/clerk_regi
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Change of Name Procedures:
1. Social Security Administration:
a. Return to the County Clerk’s Office approximately 10 days after the wedding in order
to obtain a certified copy of your marriage license ($15 fee - cash or money order
only).
b. Take the certified copy of your license to a local Social Security Office and complete
the necessary forms in order to update its records. The Social Security Office will not
keep your marriage license.
c. A new card with your new name but same Social Security number will be mailed to
your address.
d. This procedure, whether sought in person or by mail; is a service of the Social Security
Administration. There is absolutely no charge.
WARNING: You may receive a solicitation by mail from a private company
offering to assist you in the process of changing your name - for a fee. Use of
that company’s service is neither necessary nor timesaving.
2. Secretary of State:
Please remember to report your name change to the Michigan Secretary of State. Take
the certified copy of your marriage license to a convenient Secretary of State’s Office
so that your driver’s license may be changed legally $6 fee - cash or money order
only!
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IMPORTANT CHECKLIST
_________ Complete the 4 pages of forms emailed to you from the parish office and email your
responses to [email protected] prior to your meeting with Fr. Jeff. These forms will be
reviewed and signed in person with Fr. Jeff.
_________ Obtain recently issued Baptismal Certificate(s) in preparation for initial
meeting with Fr. Jeff. Call the church of your baptism and tell them you need an updated
certificate for your marriage file and they will know what you need. This
cannot be more than 6 months old. Please do not bring in your original
baptismal certificate as this does not suffice for what is needed.
_________ Contact the marriage counselor, Giovanni Vitale at 313-718-2664 or
[email protected] to take the PREPARE inventory (taken online) and review the results.
Since this is very important pre-marriage preparation and you will have a minimum of three
sessions, please complete these sessions three months prior to your wedding date.
_________ Review materials regarding Natural Family Planning (pamphlets, booklet
and DVD) and prayerfully consider taking a series of classes to learn the
method.
_________ Attend one 2.25 hour Archdiocesan session on Conjugal Love and Natural
Family Planning. Email [email protected] or call 313-237-4679 to register.
_________ Contact Rehearsal Consultant – Anna Marie Kish 248-478-2770 or
[email protected] to set up rehearsal time about six months in advance.
_________ Set Appointment with Music Minister - Tim Spriggs. Call 248-553-4610 or
email [email protected] or contact him after mass.
_________ Give information sheet(s) to Photographer/Videographer, get them signed.
_________ Have a final meeting with Fr. Jeff at least two weeks prior to the
ceremony to review all items on this checklist with him. (Due to full
schedules, it is best to contact Fr. Jeff ([email protected]) at least one month prior
to your ceremony to schedule this final appointment.)
Please have all of your preparations completed by this point!
BY THE END OF THE DAY ON THE MONDAY BEFORE YOUR CEREMONY, DROP OFF AT
THE PARISH OFFICE:
_________ Your completed selection form for your ceremony (used at rehearsal)
_________ Your set of (3 originals) marriage licenses (so that it may be typed)
_________ Stipend for Music Minister and any gift to the parish or presider.
_________ Signed photographer/videographer form(s).