MODULE 4 TELEVISION TRANSCRIPTS
1
LEARNING LANGUAGES
Walter
A
WHAT MAKES A GOOD LEARNER?
Jean Vivo en Inglaterra, en una casa con jardín, en el
campo a cincuenta kilómetros de Londres ... I'm
Jean. I work at the Northern Bank. I want to be a
manager, but I can only speak English. It is
important for my work to speak two languages. So
I'm learning Spanish. Excuse me.
Walter That's Jean. She's on lesson eleven. Buen viaje. I'm
Walter. I'm married to Jean. Do you remember the
Alcazar in Seville - all those small streets with the
beautiful white houses and patios?
Jean Walter!
Walter What?
Jean Could you be quiet, please? I'm trying to study.
Walter I'm sorry. Jean and I went to Spain when we got
married. We had a good time. but Jean couldn't
speak much Spanish.
Jean Walter! I can't concentrate. I'm trying to learn the
grammar. Yo quiero, tú quieres ...
Walter Ha! Grammar! You don't need grammar. You need
to use the language every day with Spanish people.
You should find someone who can speak Spanish
and practise with them.
Jean Of course you need grammar. Walter. But you need
other things as well. You have to learn the rules of
pronunciation. And you have to listen. And, yes,
you have to speak the language whenever you can.
And you need quiet so that you can study!
Walter I'm sorry. Pom, pom, pa pom pom ...
Jean Excuse me!
Walter Pom, pom, pa pom ... Yes?
Jean Could you stop singing, please?
Walter Shhh!
Jean Could I finish this lesson, please?
Walter OK. Hermoso española . . . hermoso. Spanish is a
beautiful language. Beautiful. I can speak a little
Spanish. Jean tries very hard. She wants to be a
manager at the bank. She studies her Spanish books
every day. She listens to the cassette again and
again. She tries hard with the pronunciation. Some
people are good at languages and some people are
not good at languages.
Jean Walter, why don't you learn Spanish?
Walter Me?
Jean Yes, you.
Walter No.
Jean Why don't you want to learn?
Walter I can speak Spanish.
Jean Really? Say something.
Walter Buenos tardes, señorita.
Jean Yes . . . Can you say anything else? Walter, I know
what we ought to do . . . We can learn Spanish
Jean
Walter
Jean
Walter
Jean
Walter
Jean
Jean
Oscar
Jean
Oscar
Jean
Oscar
Walter
B
together. It'll be fun. We can learn the vocabulary
and the grammar together. We can practise every
evening. We can go to classes together.
You can't learn good Spanish in England. It’s
impossible.
Of course you can! You can learn any language,
anywhere, if you want to.
You can't learn Spanish out of a book.
Why not?
Babies don't learn to speak English from a book.
How do babies learn to speak? They listen to the
words and they watch what people do and then they
do it. They watch the different expressions and
gestures. No. The way to learn Spanish is to talk to
Spanish people. Or to other people who are learning
Spanish.
Yes. Yes, you’re right. I ought to talk to Oscar.
Oscar? Why?
Because Oscar can speak Spanish.
***
It's no good. I can't remember the Spanish words.
¿Dónde? ¿Dónde? Please use the dictionary. It's
very simple! If you don't know a word. or really
can't remember it, just look it up in the dictionary!
Oh, Oscar, I'm just not very good at languages. I
make mistakes. I forget the rules. People don't
understand what I say ...
Jean, everyone can learn a language. Keep working.
It takes time. And everyone makes mistakes. How
are you going to learn if you don't make mistakes?
just keep speaking and thinking about what you are
saying all the time.
You speak very good Spanish, Oscar.
Thank you. But it wasn't easy for me. I went to
classes for two years. Sometimes I thought it was
impossible for me to speak the language. But I
needed to speak Spanish, so I practised every day.
And I always read Spanish books and newspapers.
You should do that too. And when I didn't
understand what people said, I said, 'Could you say
that again, please?
***
Well, OK. I was wrong. After nine months' hard
work, Jean passed her Spanish exam. And she's got
a new job at the bank. She's now manager of the
Bureau de Change. I think I ought to learn another
language. It can't be too difficult. Can it?
ALL ABOUT LEARNING ENGLISH
Street interviews
Mel I learned German at school.
Mark I speak Italian. Parlo italiano. I lived in Italy for a
year., so naturally people were speaking Italian all
around me.
Joni I learned Spanish at school, but I don't think the
Barbara
Barbara
Matt
Joni
Mark
John
Chris
teaching was very good. There were lots of
textbooks and very little conversation.
I learned Italian. Buon giorno. I listened to the
tapes on my Walkman when I was cooking,
ironing ... Every day I listened to the tapes,
whatever I was doing.
***
You must practise even, day'.
I'm learning Japanese. Konichiwa. I practise
Japanese every day.
¡Hola! I speak Spanish, and for me it's important
to visit the country and to talk to people.
If there's a word you don't understand,. look it up
in the dictionary, write it down and then repeat it
until you really know it.
It's really important to practise every day and try
to practise the language, with other students.
Well, I think you should try and learn one word
every day.
The ad spot
Johnny Excuse me, sir. Can you speak Spanish? Excuse
me, madam. Do you want to speak Spanish? Well,
now you can. You too can speak excellent Spanish
with this new Spanish dictionary. It's got over forty
thousand words. It's got the spellings. It's got the
pronunciation. It's got nouns, verbs and adjectives.
It's got abbreviations. And have a look at this,
ladies and gentlemen ... this dictionary goes from
A to Z. For only five pounds, you can learn
Spanish from this new Spanish dictionary. It's the
best. It's the cheapest and it's got the most words.
It's got short words. Long words. Strange words.
It's got easy words and it's got difficult words, and
they are all, ladies and gentlemen, in alphabetical
order. For just five pounds you can speak Spanish.
Lucinda iHola, guapo!
Johnny Wappo ... wappo ...
Don't make me laugh!
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the funniest man in the
world, Danny Dodds!
Danny Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. I have
a son. He's a wonderful little boy. Well, not so little
now -he's seventeen. He's at college - a clever lad,
and very interested in languages. He asked me to pay
for three language courses - £50 for French, £50 for
Spanish and £200 for Scotch. Get it? Do you
understand? £200 for Scotch? Scotch whisky? Never
mind. I'm quite good at languages too, you know.
Really, I am. I speak three languages - fair French,
good German and Great Britain. Fair French, good
German and Great Britain! My son had examinations
at college last week. He was very worried about
them. He worked night and day, night and day. After
the examinations I asked him., 'Son, how were the
exam questions?' He said, 'Dad, the questions were
easy, but the answers were difficult.' The questions
were easy, but the answers were difficult. Get it? No?
The questions were easy, but the answers were
difficult
Street interviews
Fraser I usually read newspapers and I write down words
on small pieces of paper, and then I read them on
the train again and again and again.
John When I'm learning a new word, I listen to it on a
cassette to check the pronunciation, and I always
look it up in the dictionary to check the spelling.
Song time
I love grammar
Ooh, I love that do and don't.
Ooh. I love that will and won't.
I love saying have and has.
Grammar is as hot as jazz!
Two, four, six, eight,
I love grammar, grammar's great.
Eight, six,, four, two,
I love grammar, how about you?
Ooh, I love that can and can't.
Ooh, I love that are and aren't.
I love saying does and do,
'Cos grammar is as sweet as you.
DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO) Edinburgh. A wonderful city for tourists and a
perfect place for students of English.
Gary (VO) This is Nuria López. She's twenty-three,
Spanish. In 1991 she came to Edinburgh,
because she's got some family here. She is
studying tourism and English. She's one of the
many Spanish students who decided to learn
English in the United Kingdom. Nowadays
English is necessary to get a job.
Nuria When I was younger, I wasn't very interested in
English. But about three years ago I did a course
on tourism in Spain and I had to do a three
months' work experience in a hotel. So it was
there when I realized that English was very
important for my professional life. So I decided I
had to come here to learn English
Sara (VO) As any student, Nuria had problems at the
beginning: it was difficult to understand British
people. But after a time that was no problem.
Sara It's important to find a good school to learn
English. But what you learn at school is not
enough. You have to learn many things by
yourself.
Nuria Well, when I arrived here, my level wasn't very
good, so it was difficult to understand people. I
used to carry a pocket dictionary with me, and
also read English newspapers, watch TV,
television; listen to the radio is very useful as
well and read children's books, because I think
they are quite easy to understand.
Gary (VO) Nuria understood that the best way to learn a
language is talking to people. At the school
where she studies there are many young people
from different countries learning English. Using
English in the group is one way of helping each
other learn English and it is also more
interesting. But Nuria has also lots of friends
outside school.
Nuria It's very important to get to know English
people, and you can do so by going to parties,
taking part in college activities, going to pubs,
going to the cinema, for example, and also going
to "keilies", which are the typical Scottish
parties.
Sara If you study in a foreign country you can get to
know a very different culture. Nuria sometimes
goes to a club in the centre of Edinburgh where
you can dance typical Scottish dances. So she
learns and enjoys herself at the same time. There
are people who do not speak English because
they think they'll make mistakes. This is not a
good strategy.
Nuria I think it's a very bad strategy, because to learn a
language you have to speak it. It doesn't matter if
you make mistakes, because you learn from
mistakes.
Gary (VO) The local pub is a useful place for the students of
English. Nuria often comes here to talk with her
friends. They help her to learn new words. A
conversation over a pint of beer can be a good
learning strategy. Obviously there are others.
Nuria Some strategies are, for example, speaking in
English whenever you can, watching television,
listening to the radio, reading newspapers and
books, and maybe listening to English songs you
like and trying to understand the words. Of
course, these techniques are general, and
depending on the person, some will work better
than others.
Sara (VO) Learning English in Great Britain means you are
completely surrounded by English. It is
important to keep your eyes and ears open, as
Nuria does. This is the way to use your time
effectively.
Nuria So as you can see, learning English is not so
difficult. Here I am. So remember: work hard
and go ahead.
2
WHO DOES WHAT AT HOME?
A
DAILY LIFE IN THE HOME
Mrs Hillier Hello, Mrs Reynolds. I'm Mrs Hillier. We
spoke on the phone last week. You agreed to
answer some questions.
Jean Oh, yes.
Mrs Hillier Five years ago, our company did a survey of
fifty women in the area. Do you remember? We
asked you some questions about the work you
and your husband did in the house.
Jean Ah, yes.
Mrs Hillier We would like to find out how things have
changed. We want to find out about the way
roles have changed in the family.
Jean Oh, yes, of course. Come in. Sit down, please.
Please excuse the mess. Walter, why haven't
you vacuumed the carpet or tidied up yet?
Walter It's Wednesday today. It's your turn. Would you
Mrs Hillier
Walter
Mrs Hillier
Jean
Mrs Hillier
Jean
Mrs Hillier
Jean
Mrs Hillier
Jean
Mrs Hillier
Jean
Mrs Hillier
Jean
Mrs Hillier
Jean
Mrs Hillier
Jean
Mrs Hillier
Jean
Mrs Hillier
Jean
Mrs Hillier
Jean
Mrs Hillier
Jean
Mrs Hillier
Jean
Gran
Jean
Mrs Hillier
Jean
Gran
like a cup of tea, Mrs ... ?
Hillier. Yes, I'd love one, thank you.
Sugar?
One sugar, please.
And I'd like a cup of tea, please, Walter.
This will only take ten minutes. Five years ago
you were married to Walter.
Yes, I'm still married to Walter.
And you had a nine-year-old son, Richard.
He's fourteen now ...
Do you have any more children?
No. I don’t want any more. Walter would like
four or five.
And Walter was a full-time teacher at the local
college.
Yes, he's still there. But five years ago he used
to teach thirty hours a week. Then lie taught for
twenty hours each week. but now he only
teaches eighteen hours a week. He says it's
because of the computers.
Yes. Right. Five years ago you were at home
all the time.
Yes, then I went back to work three years ago
when Richard started secondary school.
Where do you work?
I work at the Northern Bank.
How many hours a week do you work?
I work from nine o’clock in the morning to five
o'clock in the afternoon.
And Saturdays?
On Saturdays I work from nine to one o'clock.
What do you do at the bank?
I'm a manager in the Bureau de Change.
Now, five years ago you did all the shopping
for the family. Is that right?
Yes, I did, and it was hard work. We only had
one car in those days, and Walter used to take it
to work, so I had to carry everything up from
the local shops at the bottom of the hill.
Who does the shopping now?
We both do the shopping now. We drive to
Dozen's on a Saturday.
I'm sorry. Where?
Dozen's. The new hypermarket. It's about
fifteen miles away, but it's marvellous. They
have everything there. It's the largest shopping
mall in the area. It's quite cheap.
But you don't save any money. You have to
pay, for petrol.
***
Oh, excuse me. This is Gran. Well, Richard
calls her Gran. She's Walter's mum, actually.
Hello. Do you do the shopping every week
together?
No. We don't do it every week. We go about
once every other Saturday..
I used to buy fresh vegetables from the shop at
the bottom of the street, but all those local
shops have closed down now. I miss the local
shops. I used to enjoy a chat with the butcher
and the baker.
Jean But the hypermarket is convenient. And it's
always open on Sundays.
Mrs Hillier Five years ago you did the cooking
Jean I did. I used to cook every meal. A cooked
breakfast and supper every day.
Mrs Hillier Do you still do all the cooking?
Jean No. I cook most of the meals. I always do the
breakfast.
Gran When Walter was a boy, I used to give him a
good cooked breakfast before he went out, but
now they just have coffee and toast. A good
breakfast is important.
Jean We take it in turns to cook the evening meal.
Gran Of course, I used to cook everything fresh. I
used to get it out of the garden. Now they
normally buy frozen, pre-cooked food.
Jean Five years ago we didn't have the freezer or a
microwave. Now we can't live without them.
We just don't have the time to peel potatoes and
cook pastry. The microwave is marvellous. It's
so quick.
Gran But I don't think frozen food from the
microwave tastes as good, do you?
Jean Gran! I'm sorry.
Mrs Hillier Mrs Reynolds, who does the washing up in
your household?
Jean We have a dishwasher. We both load the
dishwasher, but Walter always loads it the
wrong way. I normally wash up the saucepans
during the week and Walter normally does it at
the weekends. But he's so slow! He takes
hours! Where is that tea?
Mrs- Hillier Five years ago you used to do all the cleaning
and housework. Has that changed'
Jean I still do most of the housework.
Walter I cleaned the bathroom yesterday, and after that
I washed the kitchen floor.
Jean You didn't wash the floor properly.
Walter I normally put the rubbish out, and I always do
the gardening, and I usually make the beds in
the morning ...
Jean You don't do the dusting.
Walter I take the children to school everyday. I do
more housework than you.
Mrs Hillier Well, thank you very much for the tea ... and
for your time.
Jean Who does the ironing?
Walter You don't iron my shirts any more.
Jean You ought to iron your own shirts.
Mrs Hillier It has been most interesting. Thank you.
B
EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED
Street interviews
Fraser My wife does all the housework, but yesterday I
did clean the bathroom.
Joni I do the washing and the cleaning, and my
husband does all the cooking. He's a great cook.
Mark My wife and I both work, and so we share the
housework.
John I do most of the cleaning, and my wife does
Mrs
Smart
Robin
Thelma
most of the cooking, and my children make
most of the mess.
I do all the housework in my house – my
husband doesn't do anything.
I live alone, so I do all of the housework.
Well. I'm very lucky. My husband and I share
the housework completely. He does half and I
do half.
Don't make me laugh!
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the funniest man in the
world, Danny Dodds!
Danny Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. I've
had a bad week. This week has been very bad. My
wife and I - all week we've had an argument about
who does the washing up. Years ago, life was very
different. Do you remember? There were no
machines to wash the dishes or the clothes. There
were no machines to clean the floor. But now my
wife has found something that cooks, cleans and
washes. And do you know what it's called? It's called
a husband. Do you get it? My wife has found
something that cooks. cleans and washes. It's called a
husband. But my children are wonderful. You know
they're not afraid of anything ... except the washing
up. Oh, thank you very much, madam. I like washing
up. I do the washing up all the time. Washing up isn't
dangerous. Wives don't kill their husbands while
they're doing the washing up! Do you understand?
Wives don't kill their husbands while they're doing
the washing up. You know, every morning I get up at
six o'clock. I always get up at six o'clock. At nine
o'clock I go to the supermarket. But I don't always do
the shopping. Yesterday my son went to the
supermarket to do the shopping. But he's no good. He
squeezed the tomato cans to see if they were fresh.
He squeezed the tomato cans to see if they were
fresh.
The ad spot
Lucinda Peter's teacher is angry. She says Peter's clothes are
dirty. Look at Peter's shirt. I don't know how I'm
going to get it clean. Look at it. There is egg here.
This is mud - dirt. He got that at school. My
washing powder can't remove mud. And this is his
lunch ... here. How am I going to get Peter's shirt
clean?
Oh! What is this? New Fab washing powder? This
looks good. But can it remove the mud from
Peter's shirt? I don't think so . . . Yes, it can! Look.
Look at this shirt! It’s really white - as white as
snow! I used to use this washing powder. Well, I
won’t use it again! Yes, Fab washing powder does
make your shirts whiter than white. I am surprised.
Son Mum, have you seen my blue shirt?
Street interviews
Robin Yesterday, I did the washing up, the cooking and
the cleaning.
Barbara Yesterday, I made some cakes and did some
ironing. What a boring day!
Joni Yesterday, I did the vacuuming and lots of
ironing, and my husband cooked a really
beautiful meal - it was fresh vegetables and fish.
It was delicious.
Thelma Well, yesterday I was at work, and so my
husband did most of the housework. He did some
ironing and he did some hoovering, and I cooked
the evening meal.
Song time
Everything has changed
He used to start the morning at a quarter to ten.
He used to yawn and stretch
And then go back to sleep again.
He used to have his breakfast when the afternoon began,
But everything has changed now, 'cos he's a married man.
Now, it's Get up early, Make the breakfast, Take the kids to
school!
Do the washing up, then tidy up! You know the rule!
And when-you've washed the clothes, it's time to vacuum the
floor, And don't forget the shopping, dear, then get the kids at
four.
He used to visit friends and neighbours in the afternoon,
And in the evening used to sit and sing romantic tunes.
He used to dance all night until the new day began,
But everything has changed now, 'cos he's a married man.
should call him a ‘midwife’ or a ‘midhusband’.
Paul 'Midwife' is an old English term which means
‘with woman' and is therefore non-sexist. It
doesn't apply to me as a man and I am a
midwife.
Gary We saw him attending his patients...
Sara (VO) And we felt curious about what the women
thought when they saw the midwife was a man.
Paul Usually the women I look after I've already
delivered their babies before, so there's no
problems. But if women come to me for the
first time, they walk into the room and it may
be difficult for them to understand whether I'm
a midwife or a doctor because we don't wear a
uniform.
Gary (VO) And our last question was: Why did you
choose to be a midwife?
Paul I didn't choose to be a midwife, the job chose
me. I had worked before in Australia and I
came back to this country to train as a nurse.
After that I went on to train as a midwife. And
being a midwife is very different from being a
nurse. And it is something that is really
wonderful.
Sara (VO) Paul's patients seemed to be very pleased with
him.
DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO) Here lives a woman with a profession which
doesn't exist in Spain. Sally is a woman priest.
Sara (VO) She's one of the first women priests in the
Church of England.
Gary (VO) We asked Sally to tell us about her daily
routine.
Sally I get up at about half past seven. I don't like to
get up early. At nine o'clock we say prayers
together in my church and in the morning there
are a number of things I could do: to go and
visit someone who is ill in hospital or to go to
school to take a service for the children. In the
afternoon I might write a sermon or do some of
my paperwork. In the evening we have
meetings.
Sara (VO) We went with her to her church...
Gary (VO) We attended part of the religious ceremony.
We asked her how she felt working with men...
and what her male colleagues thought about it.
Sally I've been very lucky working with male
colleagues who think that this is a good idea.
Sometimes some men priests are a little
unhappy.
Gary (VO) We also felt curious about knowing how people
react when they see the priest is a woman.
Sally Sometimes people are a little surprised that
there are nearly one thousand women ministers
in the Church of England. But usually that
surprise turns to pleasure that women are
priests now as well.
Sara (VO) We came to this hospital to interview a male
midwife. This is a job usually done by women
in the United Kingdom and in Spain.
Gary (VO) The first question we asked him was if we
3
THE FIRST DATE
A
PERSONAL EXPERIENCES
Walter Tomorrow is the 4th of September. It's an important
day. It's our wedding anniversary. Last year I forgot
our anniversary. Jean was very angry. It was almost
the end of our marriage. This year I haven't
forgotten. I've bought a card. Happy anniversary.
To my darling Jean. Love Walter. When we got
married, I bought Jean a ring. Jean has always worn
the ring. Then, two months ago, I saw the ring
wasn't on her finger. It wasn't there! Where was it?
I thought she didn't love me! Finally, Richard Richard is our son - Richard told me that the ring
was missing. While I was shopping in town
yesterday, I saw this ring. It's more beautiful than
the wedding ring. What do you think? Do you like
it? Jean and I met sixteen years ago. I was a teacher
at St Luke's College. It was my first year at the
college. . . .
Jean Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary. We got married
fifteen years ago. A long time ago. Walter forgot our
wedding anniversary last year. When I was a student at
college Walter Reynolds was my teacher. When I left
college, I had a party. I liked Walter, so I invited him to
the party. While everyone was dancing, Walter was
reading a book. He was reading a book at my party! I
said. 'Hello'. He said ...
Walter Hello, Mary.
Jean He called me Mary! Then I asked him, 'Would you like
some wine?'
Walter Yes. I'd love some wine.
Jean 'Do you like my party?' I asked.
Walter Yes.
Jean ... he said, as he was reading the book. Next I asked
him, 'Would you like to dance?'
Walter
Jean
Walter
Jean
No, thank you.
And then I asked him, 'Do you like going to the cinema?'
Yes.
Finally I asked him, 'Would you like to go to the cinema
with me?' That's when he put his book down. We met the
next evening.
Walter
Jean
Walter
Jean
I remember it well. We met at seven.
We met at eight.
I think we went to see an old film by Buñuel.
We saw Casablanca. When the film was over, we went to
a cheap Indian restaurant.
After the film, we had an Italian meal. It was very
expensive. Ah, I remember it well. Yes, she wore jeans
and a shirt.
I wore a beautiful blue dress. Then the next weck he
telephoned me. He asked me to go for a walk in the park.
It was a hot day.
We walked in the park.
I held his hand.
She held my hand and then we sat by the lake. We talked
and talked. We talked about great film makers. Buñuel
and Bergman.
Waiter talked and talked. He wouldn't stop talking.
It was very interesting.
I wasn't listening. While he was talking about Buñuel, I
was looking into his eyes. I was thinking, 'Does he love
me?' Finally I kissed him.
Then she kissed me while I was talking!
Three months later, Walter asked me to marry him. Well,
no. I asked Walter to marry me. But I knew Walter loved
me. We got married in St Luke's church. He bought me a
ring. A beautiful ring. Two months ago, I lost the ring
while I was shopping. I've looked for the ring
everywhere.
***
Walter
Jean
Walter
Jean
Walter
Jean
Walter
Jean
Walter
Jean
***
Jean Happy anniversary, darling.
Walter I have a present for you. Where's the ring? Where is it? I
went to the shop. I bought the ring. The man in the shop
put the ring in the box. Then I put the box in my
briefcase. When I came home, I put the box on the table.
First I wrote on the anniversary card, then I wrapped the
box and put it in my briefcase. Where is the box? Have
you seen it?
Richard You put it in your jacket, Dad. It was in your jacket.
Walter Happy anniversary, darling
B
TALKING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
Street interviews
Claire I met my husband at college. I was doing teacher
training, and my husband was doing a degree in
Sociology.
Vivian I met my husband at a youth club where I was
playing chess, and I won, and he asked me out.
We got married three years later.
Barbara I met my husband at a school concert. I was
fifteen and he was seventeen.
Robin I met my girlfriend at the local gymnasium.
Matt I met Helen, my girlfriend, a few months ago,
actually, in a local nightclub.
John A friend introduced me to my wife about ten
years ago, and about five years ago we got
married.
Joni I met my husband ten years ago at university and
we were friends for a long time - about eight
years - but last year we got married.
The ad spot
Lucinda Ah, the smell of Paris by Night! So romantic! So
exciting! I was alone in Paris. I was sitting in a
cafe. I asked the waiter for a cup of coffee. When
he came back with the coffee, he had a letter for
me. Who was the letter from? I didn't know. I
looked around the cafe. Then I saw him. He was
smiling at me. I smiled at him. The handsome
stranger came to my table.
Stranger What perfume are you wearing?
Lucinda ... he asked. 'Paris by Night,' I said. He looked
into my eyes. He took my hand and we walked
off into the night. We stood by the River Seine.
Stranger My darling.
Lucinda Mon cheri. Then we heard shouts. We saw the
waiter. He was angry.
Waiter Madame!
Lucinda ... he shouted ...
Waiter You haven't paid for your coffee!
Lucinda Ah, Paris by Night! The perfume's so romantic.
So exciting.
Song time Ooh, aah, ooh, aah
While I was walking home last night,
I saw a ghost - completely white.
This ghost was coming down the street,
He had no hands, he had no feet.
His face was round just like the moon,
And as he went, he sang this tune:
Ooh, aah, ooh, aah, it's your turn soon.
While I was walking up the stairs,
The awful ghost was waiting there.
I turned and shouted, 'Leave my home.
Please go, I want to be alone.'
And now, afraid and cold. I lie in bed
And wait and watch and cry,
Ooh, aah, ooh, aah, don't want to die.
The Hunts
Mr Hunt
Mrs Hunt
Harriet
Eleanor
Charlotte
Mrs Hunt
Mr Hunt
Mrs Hunt
Mr Hunt
Mrs Hunt
Mr Hunt
Mrs Hunt
Mr Hunt
Mrs Hunt
I'm John Hunt. and this is my wife, Bronwen.
This is my daughter, Harriet.
This is my sister. Eleanor.
This is my sister. Charlotte.
And this is my Dad.
***
We met in 1967 and we married in 1969.
Yes, that's a long time ago!
I was living in Bushey when I met John.
And I was living in Rickmansworth.
Two years after I met John, I decided to marry
him.
I was waiting inside the church for Bronwen. It
was a wonderful wedding.
I was wearing this wedding dress. My mother
made my wedding dress.
And I wore a suit.
After our wedding, we went away on honey-
moon. We went to Devon.
Mr Hunt In 1973, we were living in another house in
Bushey, and we bought this house in the same
year.
Mrs Hunt That was twenty-one years ago.
Mr Hunt It was expensive, but we liked it very much.
Mrs Hunt Harriet was born in 1977.
Mr Hunt And Eleanor was born in 1979.
Mrs Hunt And Charlotte was horn in 1981.
Don't make me laugh!
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the funniest man in the
world, Danny Dodds!
Danny Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. Are
you married? My son got married three weeks ago. I
told him, 'Son, get married early in the morning.’
‘Why should I get married early in the morning,
Dad?' he said. 'Well,' I told him, 'if the marriage
doesn't work, you haven't wasted the whole day.' I
told him, 'Get married early in the morning, if the
marriage doesn't work, you haven't wasted the whole
day.' But he had a bad honeymoon, a very bad
honeymoon. Rebecca, his wife, wanted to go to
Spain, and he wanted to go to Scotland. They didn't
speak for two weeks. Well, he was in Scotland, and
she was in Spain. They didn't speak for two weeks.
He was in Scotland ... she was in Spain. No, but it's a
marvellous thing, marriage. All marriages are happy.
Don't you think? It's living together afterwards that
causes all the problems!
DOCUMENTARY
(VO) Stratford-upon-Avon. A beautiful town in the centre
of England. It's very famous because William
Shakespeare was born here.
Jaques "To be or not to be. That is the question. Whether tis'
nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of
outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of
troubles, and by opposing end them ...’
Jaques Hello, friends! No, I'm not Hamlet, prince of
Denmark. I've just borrowed his lines. Please allow
me to introduce myself. My name's Jaques. Like
Hamlet, I'm one of the characters created by the
imagination of William Shakespeare. But I'm not
here to talk about myself. I've come to talk about my
creator, Shakespeare, who was born in this house.
(VO) Shakespeare was born in this house in 1564. It's a
typical house of the sixteenth century. For over two
hundred years theatre lovers from all over the world
have visited this house. When Shakespeare was a
boy, his father used part of the house as a workshop,
where he made gloves. Nowadays there's a museum
of Shakespeare's life and work in the house.
Shakespeare attended this school when he was a boy.
This school had an excellent classical education in
those days. Perhaps it was here where Shakespeare
started reading the old Greek authors and where his
interest in the theatre was born.
Jaques Young William enjoyed reading, but he was adventurous. In 1586 he left Stratford for London. And in
London he joined a theatre company where he did all
kinds of jobs.
(VO) In 1610, rich and famous for his work, Shakespeare
returned to Stratford. The house where he lived his
last days and where he wrote his last plays was here,
in these gardens.
Six years later, in 1616, when he was fifty-two,
Shakespeare died from an indigestion. It was the
twenty-third of April of 1616. That same day,
another genius of literature, Miguel de Cervantes,
died in Spain.
Shakespeare's grave is in Holy Trinity Church, where
you can see the words he wrote for the epitaph.
But Shakespeare is still very much alive in the
theatre. Stratford is also the home of one of the most
important classical theatre companies in the world:
the Royal Shakespeare Company.
At another theatre in the town, "the World of
Shakespeare", there's an exhibition of costumes and
characters from Shakespeare's time and from his
most famous plays.
Jaques "All the world's a stage. And all the men and women
merely players. They have their exits and their
entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts"
...
As you like it. Act two, scene seven. My lines... The
stage. This is our home. Here, with every
performance, the characters of Shakespeare are born
again. And so it will be for as long as theatre is alive.
Farewell, dear friends.
4
A
HOME AND AWAY
HOLIDAY HOME
Walter We have seven days on our own with no children in
a beautiful old house-. It's as romantic as our first
holiday. Ah! The view is wonderful. Look at that
view! The sunsets here are beautiful.
Jean Walter, are there any chairs?
Walter Chairs. Yes. Yes. Here's a chair. There are two
chairs.
Jean And where are the carpets?
Walter Jean. this is a holiday home. You don't need
carpets. We’re on holiday.
Jean Ughhhh! Who is that?
Walter Dr Thomas Webb. He probably lived in this house a
long time ago. Don't you like him? I think he looks
friendly.
Jean I hate him. He looks about as friendly as Dracula. I
can't live with him for a week.
Walter I'll get the suitcases from the car. I'd love a cup of
tea, darling.
Jean Hasn't the house got hot water?
Walter Hot water! This isn't the city. This is the country.
We don't need hot water.
Jean How much is this house for the week?
Walter The rent here is cheaper than the other holiday
homes.
Jean How much is it?
Walter It's two hundred and fifty pounds.
Jean That's more than the apartment in Malaga. And it's
Walter
Jean
Walter
Jean
Walter
Jean
Walter
Jean
Walter
Jean
Walter
Walter
Jean
Walter
Jean
smaller. Two hundred and fifty pounds is very
expensive ...
Jean, this house is over three hundred years old.
Look at this tap ...
I think he's crazy.
I think this tap is beautiful. When I was a child, we
had a tap like this. I hate modern taps.
He is crazy!
And this table is beautiful. They don't make tables
as good as this any more. Look at that. Beautiful!
There's no fridge.
We don't need a fridge.
And where's the TV?
When I was a child, we didn't have hot water. We
didn't have a TV and we didn't have a fridge, but
we had the fresh air, we had the sea, the trees ...
Walter, that was a long time ago. Where is the
kitchen equipment? There's no kitchen equipment.
There aren't any saucepans.
Here are two saucers. Two saucers . . . and three
plates ... and a fork.
***
What's the matter?
I hate going on holiday, in England. This is so
depressing. It's rained all day.
Don't you love the walks?
No. I don't like walking. On holiday I like sitting in
the sun. I work hard all year. I want to stay in a
modern apartment in Spain. I like having a fridge,
hot water, a shower. In the day I want to sit in the
sun and swim. At night I like dancing in a
nightclub. On holiday I like wearing shorts, a
T-shirt and sunglasses. I don't like wearing jumpers
in June ...
Spain is warmer than here ... Oh, dear!
Walter, did you hear that?
What is it?
I don't know.
The noise is getting louder.
It's over here.
No, it's over there.
It's getting closer.
I think it's probably Dr Thomas.
but the walls are a bit thin. They're about this thin.
Yesterday I asked my wife a question, and the
woman in the next house answered. Do you get it?
The walls are thin. Yesterday I asked my wife a
question, and the woman in the next house
answered. Do you understand? No? The walls of my
house are so thin that ... Oh, never mind. But we've
got running water in our house. Well, only when it
rains. No, I'm joking. We have hot and cold running
water. Hot in the summer and cold in the winter ...
Hot and cold running water. Hot in the summer,
cold in the winter. No? The stairs are dangerous too.
They're like this. My brother fell down the stairs this
morning, but it was all right. he was coming down
anyway. We spend a lot of time at home, but my
wife wants to travel. She wants to see the world, so
I've bought her a map!
Song time Come and sit with me
I like sitting in the old armchair,
Turning on the old TV,
Warming my hands and my feet by the fire.
Is there a nicer place to be?
I can see the garden through the window.
There are friendly pictures on the wall.
There are children playing all around –
Be careful now, don't fall!
I like sitting in the old armchair,
Turning on the old TV,
Warming my hands and my feet by the fire.
Why don't you come and sit with me?
Street interviews
Carol I really love my house. It's a cottage and it's very
cosy and very comfortable.
Barbara I love the furniture in my flat. I have a beautiful
sofa.
Robin I really like my living room. It's very cosy.
John The room that I don't like is our kitchen - it's very
small.
Barbara I hate the bathroom. It has no windows.
The ad spot
Johnny Ladies and gentlemen, look at this! Yes! It's the
very latest thing. Have you got a lovely home?
Have you got children, madam?
Lucinda Yes.
Johnny I love children too, but they get their shoes dirty
and they come into the house. Do they take their
shoes off?
Lucinda No, they don't. They walk into the house with their
dirty shoes on.
Johnny So, they get dirt all over your new carpet. Do the
children clean up the dirt from the carpet?
Lucinda No, they don't.
Johnny Who cleans the dirty carpet?
Lucinda I do.
Johnny Well, not now! This is the newest vacuum cleaner.
It's called the Newton. It's so good even men enjoy
using the Newton vacuum cleaner. Children adore
using the Newton vacuum cleaner. Everyone wants
to use it. It's fast and it's quiet - quieter than a
mouse. Watch how easy it is to use. Has anyone
got a broom?
Don't make me laugh!
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the funniest man in the
world, Danny Dodds!
Danny Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. Do
you like your home? I love mine. It's a lovely house,
The Hunts
Mrs Hunt This is the family room. I love this room. We all
meet here in the evening. And this is my cooker.
In the kitchen we've got a sink, we've got a
dishwasher, we've got a washing machine and
Walter
Jean
Walter
Jean
Walter
Jean
Walter
Jean
Walter
B
HOME SWEET HOME
we've got a microwave. All mod. cons.! This is
the sitting room. We bought the piano a long
time ago. This is the family clock. I love the
clock. This is another sitting room. It's bigger.
We like watching TV in here. This is my
collection of plates. I've collected plates for
twenty years. I bought that one on holiday last
year. I don't like these plates. I don't like the
colours. I love this plate. It's beautiful.
best.
What I like best about the Docklands? It's
the buildings, the way it's been built and the
cleanness and the space.
The fact this is so far from the City can be
difficult to get to other parts of London.
There are hardly any restaurants or bars. It is
quite far away from the centre of London.
That's it, really.
What I dislike is no transport to get to work
in the area and to go back home when you
finish. There's no ... nothing around.
Gary (VO) As you can see, there are all kinds of
opinions.
DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO) There's a new London and an old London.
Next to the old London, a new London is
being born. A city with modern buildings
and tall skyscrapers.
Sara (VO) Tower Bridge, in East London. Beyond this
bridge, along the river Thames, we find the
Docklands. It is the most important urban
project of the twentieth century in the
United Kingdom.
Gary (VO) For many years, the Docklands were one of
the biggest and most important ports in the
world. In its warehouses there was produce
from Asia, Africa, America ... But after
World War II, the Docklands became one of
the poorest areas in London.
Sara (VO) In 1981, when Margaret Thatcher was Prime
Minister, the London Docklands
Development Corporation was created.
LONDON We were set up by the British government in
DOCKLANDS July 1981 to regenerate this area. This area
OFFICER was the old port of London. It had to move
away some forty kilometres away to
Tilbury, where they built a modern port and
some five thousand acres was left behind
and our job is to bring back new life to this
area.
Sara (VO) The Docklands Light Railway, a very
modern train driven by computer connects
all areas with the centre of London.
Gary (VO) The Docklands was a poor depressed area in
the Seventies. Today it is one of the most
expensive areas in the world. Here's the best
and the worst of English architecture of the
Eighties. The old grey buildings stand side
by side with modern houses made of steel
and glass.
Sara (VO) This doesn't please everybody. Many people
don't like this big project. One of them is the
Prince of Wales, a defender of traditional
architecture.
Sara (VO) But let's hear what the locals think. We
asked some of them what they like and don't
like about this new London.
STREET I like the clean air and I like the buildings.
INTERVIEWS They are very modern and I think they are
very beautiful.
Nothing really, I'd say. What do I
like best? That's a very difficult
question. I think I like the buildings
5
THE RIGHT JOB
A
WHAT CAN I DO?
Walter How is everything at home, Rosic? How are the
kids?
Rosie They're fine. They're back at school now.
Walter And how are you?
Rosie I'm fine, but I’m bored with my job.
Walter What job are you doing?
Rosie I'm still working for the same small insurance
company.
Walter What do you do there?
Rosie I'm the office manager ... but most of the time I do
the typing, I make the tea, I answer the phone, I do
the photocopying and the filing, I buy the stamps and
post the letters.
Jean Is the pay good?
Rosie No, and last year I asked the boss for a pay rise. He
offered me one per cent. The boss doesn't like me.
Jean Why not?
Rosie He thinks I'm too clever.
Jean Too clever!
Rosie Yes. I'm the only person in the office with a degree.
Jean What are the other staff like?
Rosie They're all men. All they talk about is money, and
football.
Jean How long have you been at this office?
Rosie I've been there for two years. Every day is the same.
Jean I think it's time to find another job.
Rosie But what can I do? I studied Ancient History at
university, and history isn't very useful when you're
looking for a job. Why didn't I do engineering or
media studies?
Jean You could go to college and learn to be a teacher or
...
Rosie No. I can't afford to go back to college.
Walter There's an advertisement in the newspaper for a
personal assistant for the editor of Glam, the fashion
magazine.
Rosie I don't know anything about the fashion industry.
Jean It says, 'experience in the fashion industry is not
important'.
Rosie Really?
Jean They want an intelligent person. It says, 'a university
degree is essential'. They want 'a well-organised and
very efficient person to assist in the editor's office'.
Rosie Hundreds of people try for those jobs in the fashion
industry.
Jean Yes, but you must apply. Can you use a word
processor?
Rosie Yes, I can.
Jean Do you have a clean driving licence?
Rosie Yes, I do.
Jean Are you good with people?
Rosie I don't know. Am I?
Jean Yes, you are good with people. but you must be more
confident.
Rosie You must believe in yourself.
***
Olivia I'm Olivia Preston. I'm the editor of the fashion
magazine, Glam. Last week I advertised in the papers
for a personal assistant. I've had hundreds of letters.
I've already interviewed six applicants this afternoon,
but none of them is right . . . Send in the last
applicant. please . . . I'm tired. I want to go home . . .
Rosie Trueheart? Hello. I'm Olivia Preston. She's old.
I expected soineone younger. I want someone who
can be flexible. Please sit down. The reference from
her last employer isn't very good. Rosie, you're
working at the Buxton Insurance Company. Are you
happy there?
Rosie What do I say? Do I tell her the truth? No. I'm afraid
I'm not happy there.
Olivia Why not?
Rosie I'm the only woman and my male colleagues aren't
helpful.
Olivia Some of my male colleagues are the same.
Rosie She thinks I can't get on with men. I bet most of her
advertising clientes are male.
Olivia What did you study at university?
Rosie I studied Ancient History, I'm afraid.
Olivia She's got a good degree. She's obviously intelligent.
What did you do after university?
Rosie She thinks I haven't got enough work experience. I
brought up two children on my own.
Olivia Oh! Really? She must be very efficient and well
organised to bring up two children and go to work.
How many words can you type a minute?
Rosie I can type about ninety words a minute.
Olivia How good is your spelling?
Rosie My spelling is excellent.
Olivia I've never been able to spell. Coffee?
Rosie Black, please.
Olivia Rosie, are you ambitious? I don't want a PA who is
too ambitious. Madeleine was my last PA. She left
last week. She got a very well-paid job on our rival
magazine. I don't want someone like Madeleine as
my PA again. I want someone who is loyal to me.
Rosie Thank you. She thinks I’m not ambitious enough.
I’ve spent the last two years in a dead-end job. She
wants a dynamic, ambitious personal assistant. Can I
lie to her? I'm afraid I'm not very ambitious.
Olivia Hmmm. I like her. Would you like to have a look
around the Glam offices?
Rosie Yes, I'd love to. I wish my clothes were more
fashionable
Olivia All the other applicants wore glamorous clothes to
the interview. They dressed like Joan Collins. But I
don't want a fashion model. I want a personal
assistant ... someone like Rosie. Let's have a look
around and I can introduce you to some of my staff.
B
MORE ABOUT JOBS
Street interviews
Judy I am a secretary and I work part time at the
local hospital.
Mrs Smart I'm mainly a housewife, but I do help out at
my husband's shop.
Robin I'm a computer operator. I work for a large
company
Chris I'm a radiojournalist. I write the news for a
local radio station.
Joni I'm not working at the moment because I want
to be at home with my children while they're
very little, but it's the hardest work I’ve ever
done.
The ad spot
Lucinda Do you want to be successful? I know I do. Do
you want to be the best typist in the office? Yes,
of course you do! You all want your manager to
say to you ...
Manager Well done, Lucinda, this is very good work! This
typing is very good. How do you do it. Lucinda?
You are the best typist in the office. I wish all the
typists in the office were as good as you!
Lucinda I'm a modern girl, and I want to be the best. I've
done a course in typing. I’m a touch-typist and
I'm very fast. So now I have the new Alder
typewriter. It's very good. It's the newest
typewriter. All the typists in my office want a
new Alder typewriter. It's so easy to use. And so
easy to carry home. So now I can work day and
night. Ask your boss to buy you the new Alder
typewriter.
Don't make me laugh!
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the funniest man in the
world, Danny Dodds!
Danny Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. Do
you like work? I do. I love it. I could watch people
work for hours. My wife works. She's a secretary.
She loves her work - she loves the coffee breaks!
She loves her work. She loves the coffee breaks.
You don't work when you are on a coffee break that's the joke - oh, never mind. But my wife - my
wife is a very good secretary. She can write in
shorthand ... But it takes her a long time. Her boss
asked her to take some dictation. Do you know what
she said? She said, 'Where do I take it to?' She had a
new manager last week. He said to her, 'How many
words can you type a minute?' She said, 'Big ones or
little ones?' Big ones or little ones! No, her typing
has got a lot better . . . do you know, she can now
type twenty mistakes a minute! Twenty mistakes a
minute! Oh, well, please yourselves. Thanks very
much, ladies and ... cheers.
Song time Working man
Hey, working man, you work every day.
Hey, working man, you work for a handful of pay.
You can push, you can carry, you can build, you can mend,
But what does it matter when you get to the end of the day?
Hey, working man, you've worked all your life.
Hey, working man, for your kids and your wife.
You've worked and you've worked for
Your neighbours and your friends,
But what does it matter when you get to the end of your life?
Gary (VO)
María
Jesús
Gary (VO)
The Hunts
Mrs Hunt I'm working at a dress shop about twelve miles
from my home. I put clothes in the front of the
shop. I'm called a window dresser. To be a
window dresser, you need to be good with
colours. You need to be artistic. I've got a
qualification in display and design. I went to
college thirty years ago. It's a part-time job. I
work two days a week. and I only work in the
morning. It’s well paid. I enjoy the work. It's a
perfect job for me.
DOCUMENTARY
Sara (VO) Most Spaniards who travel to the United
Kingdom are tourists. Some, the youngest, go
there to study. But many go there to work. Over
70,000 Spaniards work in the United Kingdom.
Sara (VO) These are María Jesus Cumming, Pepe
Hernanz, and Juan Piris. They are Spanish and
they've been working in Edinburgh for many
years.
Sara (VO) We went to talk to Juan Piris.
Sara (VO) Juan Piris arrived in Edinburgh twenty years
ago as a student of Medicine. Some time later
he started working at the Hospital and the
Medical Laboratory of the University of
Edinburgh. Now he is Head of Department.
Juan Piris I'm a pathologist. In Spain we are called
"anatomopatólogos". My work consists of
offering diagnosis and advice as to the
appropriate treatment for patients, based on the
study of biopsis specimens with a microscope.
Sara (VO) Juan is a professional with a brilliant career. He
has one of the highest jobs in his profession.
But this is not always easy for a foreigner. We
asked him: is it easy for a Spaniard to integrate?
Juan Piris I think being a Spaniard has been a great help to
me. In this country Spanish people are regarded
as hard-working, open-minded and friendly.
And in general we have very little problem
integrating with the locals.
Sara (VO) Juan is fully integrated in British society. But
we wanted to know if he would like to return to
Spain.
Juan Piris After twenty years in Great Britain I am of
course happy here. But I am Spanish through
and through and I would welcome the
María
Jesús
María
Jesús
Sara (VO)
opportunity to get back home and work for my
people and enjoy with them the food, the drink
and the company, which is so important in
Spanish life.
We asked another Spaniard working in
Edinburgh the same questions. This is María
Jesus Cumming. María Jesús, would you like to
go back to Spain?.
That's a very difficult question. And sometimes
I think. "Yes", I would like to go back to Spain
but only if I could find the same kind of job that
I have here.
María Jesús, or Dieca, as her friends call her,
arrived in Edinburg in 1971. She finished her
studies and she is now a teacher of Spanish at
Stevenson College, a college for adult students.
I work at Stevenson College in Edinburgh. I am
a senior lecturer in foreign languages and my
job consists partly of teaching Spanish and
partly management and administration of the
languages department.
When I arrived here, it was twenty years ago,
and it was not difficult to get a job. They
wanted Spanish teachers because they wanted to
teach languages other than French.
When Pepe Hernanz arrived in Edinburgh, his
first job was as a waiter. He saved enough
money to open two Spanish restaurants, which
are very popular in Edinburgh.
I came to Edinburgh when I was twenty-four to
work as a waiter. That was very hard.
Pepe
Hernanz
Sara (VO) Pepe is now an important character in
Edinburgh's social life. He meets lots of
people in his restaurant so he knows
there's not much difference between the
Scottish and the Spanish.
Pepe The Scottish people like Spaniards very much.
Hernanz The open character of the Scottish goes very
well with the Spanish character.
6
THE BATTLE OF THE GENERATIONS
A
FAMILY MATTERS
Walter Richard, it's Gran. Go and open the door for her,
please.
Richard Oh, must I? I'm watching this.
Walter Do as you're told. Now!
Richard Hello, Gran.
Gran Hello, dear, how are you?
Walter Richard, come back here! You must help Gran with
her bags.
Richard OK.
Gran You mustn't do that with my bags! You must be
more careful!
Richard OK, sorry, Gran.
Walter Sorry about that. How are you?
Gran I'm fine, thank you, dear. But you must speak to
Richard about his manners.
Walter Yes, Mother. You're right.
Gran
Richard
Gran
Richard
Walter
Richard
Gran
Walter
Gran
Walter
Gran
Walter
Gran
Gran
Richard
Gran
Walter
Richard
Walter
Richard
Walter
Richard
Walter
Richard
Walter
Richard
Gran
Walter
Gran
Walter
Walter
Jean
Walter
Richard
Walter
Gran
***
What's that?
It's my supper.
Aren't you having supper with us, young man?
No, Gran. I have to go out.
You don't have to go out.
Dad!
Walter, he shouldn't have burger and chips for his
supper. He must have fresh vegetables with his
meals. I can cook him some cabbage and potatoes.
Richard doesn't like cabbage.
His mother ought to be at home to cook proper food
for him.
Jean is working.
A mother should be at home.
She likes her job and we need the money.
In my day a mother used to stay at home. A good
mother ought to stay at home and look after her
family.
***
You watch too much television, young man. It's not
good for you. In my day, we didn't have television.
We used to make our own entertainment.
Yes, Gran.
You should read more. It's important to read. Have
you read Treasure Island? Walter. he mustn’t watch
TV all the time.
He doesn't watch much TV. He has to do his
homework, tidy his room, and iron his school
clothes. Then he can watch TV, but some evenings
he reads a book in his room. You ought to be proud
of Richard. He does very well at school. He studies
hard. He's a nice boy. He's got good friends. He's
kind and he's generous. That's what's important.
Can I go out now?
You can go out, but you must be home by ten
o'clock.
Dad, I'll be back at eleven, I promise.
No.
Please, Dad.
I said no. Eleven o'clock is too late.
But I don't have to get up for school tomorrow.
You must be back here by half-past ten.
OK, Dad. Thanks.
He mustn't argue with you, Walter. A father has to
be strict. You didn't use to argue with your father,
did you?
No. Because I was afraid of him. He was too strict.
No, he wasn't. You respected him, and that was
good for you. You should tell Richard exactly what
he can and can't do.
Yes, Mum, but children don't have to be afraid of
their parents.
***
I have to talk to him.
You must do more than talk to him, Walter!
Perhaps something has happened to him.
Sorry, Dad. I'm sorry.
Richard! We've been very worried about you.
You should tell him that he can't go out in the
evenings for a month! And no TV!
Walter Mum, I want to talk to him first.
Richard I'm really sorry, Dad.
B
HOUSE RULES
Street interviews
John Well, we don't have many rules in our house, but
our son, who’s four and a half now, must always
go to bed at the same time each evening, and he
mustn’t shout and he mustn’t be rude to people.
Barbara When my children were at home, we didn't have a
lot of' rules, but they had to do their homework
before they watched television.
Joni One very important rule we have is that we tidy up
at the end of every day, because the house gets
very untidy with all of the baby's clothes
everywhere.
Song time Happy family
You must stay in and you mustn't go out.
You can't play music and you're not allowed to shout.
You can't have friends here after nine,
And you're not allowed to touch the car - it's mine!
You must get up and you mustn't be late.
You mustn't be untidy, that's something that I hate.
You can't wear that, what about your hair?
You're a terrible mess, now don't you care?
We’re a happy, family, a happy family,
A happy, happy family, we're a happy family.
We're a happy family, a happy family,
A happy, happy family, we're a happy family.
The ad spot
Johnny Are your children bored? Do they want to go out
every night dancing? Would you like your
children to stay at home? Then buy the Watson
radio. It's a wonderful radio. We listen to the radio
all the time. We think it's very good. And our
children like it too. They used to go out every
night. They came home very late. Sometimes
Alice, who is only twenty-six, didn't get home
until nine o'clock at night. Parents have to know
their children are safe and are at home. So, we
bought the Watson radio. It's marvellous. Our
children don't go out now. They enjoy staying at
home. Now they ask me all the time ...
Children Please, Daddy, can we listen to the radio?
Johnny Even our dog Fido likes to stay at home. He loves
the Watson radio. The Watson radio has
everything. It has volume. It has lots of
programmes. It has music and it has people
talking. It's wonderful. Yes, children like to stay
home and listen to the Watson radio.
The Hunts
Mrs Hunt My mother and father used to live in Wales.
Then, ten years ago, they moved here to Bushey.
Now they visit us every week. It's lovely to see
them.
Charlotte Grandma, Grandpa, what did you use to do when
you were young?
Jean We used to go country dancing.
Charlotte I like dancing.
Fred We used to listen to the radio when we were
young.
Charlotte I like watching television.
Fred There was no television when we were young.
Charlotte No television!
Don't make me laugh!
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the funniest man in the
world, Dainny Dodds!
Danny Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. My
mother - my mother is a very difficult woman. I'm
always bringing girls home to meet my mother. She
hates them. I bring home tall girls -she hates them.
Short girls - she hates them. Fat girls, skinny girls she hates them. English girls. Scottish girls, Italian
girls, French girls - my mother hates them all!
Thank you. madam. Well, I finally find this girl. It's
incredible. She looks exactly like my mother. Same
eyes, same hair, same nose - same personality! She's
exactly like my mother. I bring her home - my father
hates her. Thank you very much, thank you, ladies
and gentlemen. Thank you.
DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO) This is a British wedding. The first person to
arrive is the bridegroom accompanied by the
best man, a friend of the bridegroom.
Sara (VO) As we are in Scotland, a piper plays a
traditional Scottish song to welcome the
guests.
Gary (VO) This isn't the bride. She's not wearing white.
Sara (VO) She's a bridesmaid. The bridesmaid is usually
a close friend of the bride.
Gary (VO) A bride can have several bridesmaids. One of
the duties of a bridesmaid is to attend the
guests.
Sara (VO) Here's the bride, accompanied by her father.
Gary (VO) They go into the church following the piper's
music.
Sara (VO) The ceremony begins.
Gary (VO) ... and everybody sings, even the bride and the
bridegroom.
Gary (VO) And when the religious ceremony is over, they
have to sign the official documents, as in
Spain.
Sara (VO) When they leave the church, it's time for the
photographs.
Gary (VO) When everybody has got a photograph to
remember the wedding, the bride and the
bridegroom leave.
Sara (VO) And so do the guests ... To the reception, of
course.
Gary (VO) This is the restaurant. The guests have
something to drink while they congratulate the
couple.
Sara (VO) And finally, time for lunch.
Gary (VO) And as at any Spanish wedding, at the end of
the meal comes the wedding cake.
Sara(VO) After the toasts come the jokes. Let's hear the
best man.
Gary (VO) After eating and drinking, everybody is happy.
Now it's time to dance.
Sara (VO) And the wedding finishes here. But let's hear
the couple telling us how happy they feel.
Bride Oh! I feel wonderful, I feel absolutely great.
It's been super, really good.
Bridegroom I suppose it hasn't totally, sunk in yet, but
yeah, very happy at the moment. Hopefully
that'll ... It's a very happy occasion and I've
enjoyed it very much. Marriage so far, all six
hours of it, has been fantastic.
Bride OK, well, it's bye-bye for Scotland, from
Scotland for now, and I hope you enjoy the
programme.
Bridegroom And I hope you enjoyed the wedding.
7
WHAT IS HEALTH?
A
ALTERNATIVE HEALTH
Jean You've started work early this morning.
Walter I couldn't sleep last night. So at four o'clock I got up
and started work.
Jean Oh, Walter, you poor thing. You need a good night's
sleep.
Walter Yes, you're right. Well, I slept for four hours.
Jean That's not enough sleep! You need eight hours.
Walter I don't think so ... Well, yes, you're right.
Jean Walter, did you go to see Dr Radcliffe yesterday?
Walter Yes.
Jean What did he say?
Walter He wasn't there. He's gone. There's a new doctor there.
A woman. Dr Brown. She examined me for a minute
or so and then she said . . . 'hmm'.
Jean What does 'hmm' mean?
Walter I don't know. Then she wrote out a prescription for
some medicine.
Jean What medicine?
Walter I don't know. I couldn't read the prescription.
Jean Didn't you ask her what was wrong with you?
Walter No, I didn't.
Jean Why not?
Walter She was busy. She had a waiting room full of patients.
***
Roz I’ve got strawberry tea. peppermint tea or camomile
tea.
Jean Camomile tea. Thank you. Roz, you've studied
Chinese medicine, haven't you?
Roz Yes, I've studied acupuncture.
Jean Do you think Chinese medicine is as good as Western
medicine?
Roz I think it is, but some people disagree. Western
doctors often look at a patient's symptoms. but not at
the real illness. We need to look at the way people
live: what they eat and drink, how much exercise they
do, how much stress they have.
Jean Can you help Walter, Roz? He can't sleep. He has a lot
of stress at work.
Does he smoke?
Yes.
Does he do any exercise?
Well ... he walks to the car every morning.
Does he eat healthy food"
Sometimes. But when he has stress at work, he eats
the most unhealthy food. He eats chips ... hamburgers
... pizzas ... chocolate.
Roz They're bad for you. What vitamins does he take?
Jean Vitamins! He doesn't take any vitamins.
Roz Jean, Walter really has to change his lifestyle. Jean,
has Walter tried aromatherapy?
Jean What's that?
Roz The smell of essential oils from plants and flowers is
good for stress. It's very effective, Jean. Aromatherapy
helps you to relax.
Jean I think Walter should see you, Roz.
***
Walter I'm back, darling. I've got the supper.
Jean We eat too much fried food. It's unhealthy.
Walter What are you doing?
Jean This food is rubbish. I'm putting it in the rubbish bin.
Walter And what are these?
Jean These are sunflower seeds. We're going to have a nice
green salad.
Walter Have you gone mad? We always eat fish and chips on
Friday night. What are these?
Jean Vitamins.
Walter Vitamins? You have gone mad.
Jean I've been talking to Roz.
Walter Roz?
Jean Our new neighbour. She practises alternative
medicine.
Walter Alternative medicine! Look, doctors have to spend six
years at medical school, and they have to pass very
difficult exams before they're qualified. Your Roz has
read a couple of books on Chinese medicine and she
thinks she's a qualified doctor ...
Jean She told me about aromatherapy.
Walter Aromatherapy!
Jean That cough's bad, Walter. It's worse than before. I'm
going to call Roz. Oh, poor Walter.
Walter It's the worst it's been. I'm going to phone Dr Brown.
Jean Bless you!
***
Walter Dr Brown. I need some more pills for my cough.
My wife, - she thinks that I should stop eating
fried food. She thinks that I should stop
smoking. She thinks that I should drink less. She
thinks I need more sleep. She thinks I need a
'healthier lifestyle' . . .
Roz She's right.
Walter She thinks ... What? You agree with her?
Roz Yes. I do. I agree with her completely. You don't
need more pills. You need a healthier lifestyle.
Walter Oh, well . . . What do you think of aromatherapy'? My wife thinks ...
Roz I think it's very interesting. Perhaps you should
try it.
Walter But, Doctor ...
Roz Please call me Roz.
Roz
Jean
Roz
Jean
Roz
Jean
Walter Roz? Roz? Roz!
B
A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE
Street interviews
Joni I don't do enough, but I try to cat lots of
vegetables, white meat, like chicken, and fish. But
I don't do enough exercise.
Robin I play badminton, basketball and tennis and I have
a very healthy diet.
Barbara I eat the right foods - white meat, fish, salads,
fresh fruit and vegetables.
Song time A very special diet
I eat too little, I hate cream cakes,
I hate everything the baker bakes.
The butcher hates me 'cos I eat no steaks.
When I look at food, my stomach aches.
I want to be fat, I've got a very special diet.
I'm going to be huge,
I know it's hard, but I'm going to try it.
All I have to do is find an elephant and buy it,
And mix with herbs and lots of oil,
And pepper and salt and fry it.
It's a very, very, very special diet.
Don't make me laugh!
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the funniest man in the
world, Danny Dodds!
Danny Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much. How's
your health, madam? No, don't laugh. Your health is
very important. You know, every morning I wake up
at six ... I wake up at six o'clock every morning ...
and then I go back to sleep for another three hours.
My wife is on the onion and garlic diet. Have you
heard of the onion and garlic diet? Well, she's lost
three kilos and all her friends. She's lost all her
friends - she's lost all her friends because she's been
eating onions and garlic ... Oh, never mind. My wife
said she wasn't feeling well last week. Hmm! Then I
saw her jumping up and down. I said, 'Why are you
jumping up and down like that?' She said. 'I forgot
to shake the rnedicine bottle.’ No? But I never
understand the television advertisements. The
adverts say, 'Take aspirin for a headache'. Who
wants to get a headache? I'd like to finish on a song,
ladies and gentlemen ... hit it ...
The Hunts
Mrs Hunt I try to buy fresh vegetables, fruit and meat
every day. They're all good for you. My mother
used to say that every meal should have 'meat
and two veg'. Meat with two kinds of vegetables.
Our family has always been healthy, and I think
that's because we take plenty of exercise and we
eat the right food. When I buy packaged foods, I
always look carefully at the contents. I don't like
to buy foods with too many additives. I'm
making a fresh vegetable and beef casserole. I
use parsnips, carrots, swede, onion, red and
green peppers, fresh red meat because it's full of
protein and iron. Then a dash of salt and pepper,
some garlic and some stock.
The ad spot
Johnny Ladies and gentlemen, how are you feeling today?
Do you feel ill? Or have your children got colds? Or
has your mother got the flu? Don't worry! Here's
some advice. Buy a bottle of Dr Wong's famous
medicine. Do you want to give up smoking?
Man Mmm, yes, I do.
Johnny Then try Dr Wong's famous medicine. Do you want
to improve your memory? Then try . . . Dr Wong's
famous medicine. And you, sir? Is work difficult?
Man Uh-huh.
Johnny Is there too much stress in the office?
Man Uh-huh
Johnny Why not try Dr Wong's famous medicine? You,
madam. Would you like to look younger? Yes, of
course you would. Then try Dr Wong's famous
medicine. It's the most remarkable medicine in the
world. One bottle of Dr Wong's famous medicine
doesn't cost five pounds. I am not asking for four
pounds, I'm not even asking for three pounds. I'm
giving it away for two pounds a bottle. And, for you,
madam ... You can have five bottles for ten pounds.
DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO) In a list of hobbies in Great Britain, gardening
is number one. In big towns there are important
gardening fairs where you can buy all kinds of
plants and tools.
Sara (VO) The British love low houses with a small
garden at the back. Here they can practise their
favourite hobby.
Gary (VO) This is Mr. Spencer. He is the headmaster of a
state school, but his great interest is gardening.
He told us why gardening is the British
favourite hobby.
Mr Spencer I think everyone finds plants easy to grow in
Great Britain. We have plenty of rain and so
things grow well. And because people find it
easy, that makes it popular.
Gary (VO) While he looked after his plants Mr. Spencer
told us why he finds gardening so relaxing.
Mr Spencer It's very good to come home in the evening and
do something different from my day job. I'm a
headmaster and so in the evening it's good to
work with my hands rather than with my head.
Sara (VO) Another healthy habit in the United Kingdom is
taking courses. They can be correspondence
courses or courses taken at centres like Morley
College.
Sara (VO) Many of the courses offered by Morley
College, as this fencing class, are for
entertainment.
That's what the principal said when we asked
him to tell us about the courses.
Principal The college offers a lot of courses, courses of a
non-vocational nature. So people can come to
the college to study ceramics, music, or to play
music because they're interested in that.
Sara (VO) This is the ceramics room. At the college there
are people of all ages and social classes, as the
principal explained.
Principal Students come to the college from the age of
eighteen. And the top age is any age. The oldest
student is ninety-three years old. Students are
from all walks of life and come from all parts
of London, from members of the House of
Lords to unemployed local people living
around the college.
Sara (VO) The music lesson is really interesting. This is
one of the reasons why people come to Morley
College, but the principal gave us other reasons.
Principal I think people come to the college for a lot of
reasons. Some come because it's an opportunity
for them to meet other people and form a sort
of social club where they can spend their time
in their retirement or spend the time making
new friends. Some others come because they
want to learn a skill or they want to play music
or to do pottery. Yet others come because they
want to pick up a skill that they could not do
when they were younger or at school.
MODULE 5 TELEVISION TRANSCRIPTS
1
SWEETHEARTS
A
COMPUTER DATING
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
How is life in the fashion business?
It's great.
And are there lots of nice people?
Lots and lots of nice, married people, yes. My job
is wonderful, but my social life is awful. I still
haven't met the right man.
The right man! What about an agency? A computer
dating agency. You can find the man of your
dreams. Look. Here.
No.
Why not? It's very scientific and it's efficient.
But it's not very romantic, is it?
***
This man of your dreams, Rosie - what's he like?
He's quick and clever ... and he's warm and
emotional ... and he must be spiritual.
Oh, yes ... and what does he look like?
He's tall. He must be tall and strong.
So you're looking for a man like Arnold
Schwarzenegger?
Yes.
But also like Mahatma Gandhi?
Yes. He must be kind. I want somebody who thinks
about other people.
You want someone who thinks about you.
Yes. Most of the time. And he must be interested ill
going to the theatre and the cinema.
And he must be rich?
Oh, yes. He must have lots of money.
So, you want a man who's tall, strong, clever,
warm, emotional, spiritual, who likes the same
things as you and oh, yes, who's rich as well.
Yes.
Right.
***
It's no good.
Why not?
You say that the most important quality is that he's
handsome.
Yes. That's the most important.
Rosie! What about sensitivity? What about humour
and intelligence?
I've got sensitivity, humour and intelligence on the
list.
Yes, but they're at the bottom of the list. Numbers
eight. nine and ten. And for number two, you’ve
written 'rich'.
That’s right.
'Handsome' and 'rich', and after that, you've got
'famous', 'powerful', 'charming' and 'talented'.
What's wrong with that?
Valerie Nothing, dear, but Mel Gibson is probably not a
client of this computer dating agency.
Rosie I know how computers work. I must put 'handsome'
as number one, or the computer will give me a
partner with a face like an orang-utan.
George Hi, Valerie.
Valerie Hello, George. How was the tennis?
George Bernard played badly, didn't you, Bernard? Look at
him. It's sad, isn't it? He's like an old man. When he
was young, he could play tennis, but now he's old.
His eyes are poor. His legs are weak. We were
better than the other two, but we lost. I need a new
partner. You're too old, Bernard. I need someone
young, someone with a good eye, someone with
strong arms and legs, someone with energy.
Someone beautiful. Are you interested in playing
tennis?
***
Rosie I play a bit.
George Who is this woman? Why haven't you introduced
me before? How are you? I'm George and you are
... ?
Rosie Rosie.
George Rosie! What a name! What a wonderful name!
Don't you think so, Bernard? It's a poetic name.
It's a name ...
Bernard George!
George Maybe we can get to know each other. What do
you do?
Rosie I work for the editor of a fashion magazine. What
do you do, George?
George I sell drugs.
Rosie Really!
Valerie He works for a pharmaceutical company.
Bernard George! Come here! I want to show you
something outside.
George I won't be long. I'll be back ... Rosie.
Valerie Rosie, I'm sorry about George. He was very
impolite.
Rosie It doesn't matter. What's he like?
Valerie He's a nice man, Rosie. What's the matter?
Rosie Nothing. Does George say those things to all the
women he meets?
Valerie I don't think so. I think he really likes you.
Rosie He looks ... interesting.
Valerie But he's not the man of your dreams, Rosie.
Rosie Well, he's certainly not strong or handsome, but I
like his way of talking and laughing. I think the
man of my dreams was ... boring.
B
MY IDEAL PARTNER
Street interviews
Joni My ideal partner must have kind eyes - kind,
smiling eyes. And ideally, dark hair - I don't like
blondes.
Mark My ideal partner should be tall, blonde and good
looking.
Fraser I like women with long, blonde hair and long legs,
but appearance is not so important for me.
Pam He's very handsome, tall and very slim.
The ad spot
Melissa It is so difficult being a young person. You're shy,
but then, you see a boy across a crowded room.
What does he look like? He's dark and handsome.
He looks ... interesting. Your eyes meet. And then,
later ...
George I'm sorry. How do you do? What's your name?
Melissa My name's Melissa. What's your name?
George My name's George.
Melissa Nice to meet you, George.
George It's very nice to meet you too, Melissa.
Melissa It is so romantic. All your life you have waited for
this moment. You are so happy. He gives you
flowers. You dance together. You are going to kiss
for the first time when ...
George Ugghhh!
Melissa Oh, George. I'm so happy.
George What's that, Melissa?
Melissa Darling?
George What's that on your face?
Melissa What do you mean, George?
George What's that big spot on your face. Oh, look, there's
another one. And another. Oh, Melissa ...
Melissa Yes, spots always come at the wrong time. But with
new Spotless Cream you can do something about it.
Now Stanley and Fred want to dance with me. But
what about poor George? Someone ought to tell
George about new Spotless Cream.
Don't make me laugh!
Danny Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. My
name is Danny Dodds and I'm interested in finding
an ideal partner. Why are you laughing? What do I
look like? I don't look too short or too tall, I don't
look too fat. I'm a very nice man, but I can't find an
ideal partner. Maybe ... you madam. All right, then.
I was married once. For ten years my wife and I
were very happy . . . then we met. There's a man
down here who doesn't understand that joke. I said,
for ten years my wife and I were very happy and
then we met. No? All right, then. Well, I've got a
new girlfriend now. Oh, she's marvellous. She's
beautiful, intelligent and sophisticated. You know,
every time she kisses me, it burns. Oh, it hurts! Why
does it hurt? She's got a cigarette in her mouth.
That's my girlfriend. But maybe there isn't an ideal
partner for me. I love my girlfriend, but I don't think
she loves me. No. Thank you. No, I don't think she
loves me. Last week I saw her with another man. I
was very sad. The next day I asked her, 'Who was
the man you were kissing last night?' and she said,
'What time was that?' I said, 'it was about half past
eight'. And she said, 'Half past eight? Oh, that was
Mel.' Thank you very much. You've been great.
Thanks very much. My name's Danny Dodds. Good
night.
Street interviews
Joni The most important thing is that my ideal partner
must have a good sense of humour.
Robin My ideal partner should be loving and very patient.
Mark She should be kind. She should be generous and
have a good sense of humour.
Song time
Love's for keeps
Isn't handsome, isn't funny,
Isn't famous, got no money,
Got no talents, isn't clever,
But he tells me love's for ever,
That's why my man is the man of my dreams.
Not romantic, buys no flowers,
Won't go dancing for hours and hours,
Mouth is open when he sleeps,
Then he whispers love's for keeps,
That's why my man is the man of my dreams.
DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO) These are Carmen Guijarro and Michael
Snowden. She's Spanish and he's English. They
got married X years ago and since then they've
been living in Edinburgh. Carmen works as a
teacher of Spanish. Michael is a sculptor.
They're an example of a couple of people from
different cultures.
Sara (VO) We spoke with them and asked them what is, in
their opinion, the most important difference between their two cultures.
Carmen The one that affects me most, the cultural
difference that really affects me, is this indirect
way of interacting even between members of the
same family. I find that if you have a friend you
should be able to say what you think or what
you want directly. And I find it difficult that in
this country people always use an indirect
manner.
Gary (VO) For Michael, the biggest difference is in the
family.
Michael I think Spanish families are much closer together
and from my point of view I've been welcomed
by all of Carmen's relatives.
Sara (VO) Our next question was: What are the advantages
of a couple like you?
Carmen Advantages probably that I always have an
excuse to travel and I like travelling. So because
I live in Edinburgh, in Scotland, I have to travel
to England or to Spain.
Gary (VO) Here, Michael's answer was very similar.
Michael Well I think from my point of view I've met so
many people from Spain and we often go to
Spain for holidays, and we've been together to
Mexico.
Sara (VO) And what are the disadvantages?
Carmen Probably the main disadvantage is that ... is
about the same, that I have to travel to Spain to
see my family and I haven't got much time to
travel to other countries.
Gary (VO) This time, Michael's answer was much clearer.
Michael That's a very difficult question to answer. So far
I haven't found any. I might find some in the
next twenty years.
Gary (VO) Michael is an artist. He works as a sculptor in a
small studio near his flat. He also teaches art in a
local school.
Sara (VO) Carmen is a teacher of Spanish at a college for
adults. After so many years in Britain, Carmen is
fully integrated in British society. But we
wanted to know if she found it difficult at the
beginning to integrate in a different society and
a different culture.
Carmen I never found it difficult to integrate in this society.I actually found it much easier to live here
than in Spain.
Gary (VO) And what does Michael think? Does he think it
was difficult for Carmen to integrate?
Michael Not in any way. She's always friendly with all
sorts of people and found it very easy.
Sara (VO) And finally, some advice from them to all the
students of That's English!
Carmen Well, if you want to practise your English, come
to Edinburgh and talk to the real people.
Edinburgh is a beautiful city and Scotland a
beautiful country.
Michael I would like to say that I hope that you're
successful in learning English, and will therefore
come to visit Britain and especially to Scotland.
2
READY, STEADY, GO!
A
SPORTS DAY
Bernard What are you doing?
James It's Sports Day at my school next Friday.
Bernard Sports Day! Good. What sports are you going to
do? Running? Jumping? No, I can guess. You're
going to be in a TV-watching competition!
James I'm running.
Bernard Running!
James Yes, I'm doing lots of races. I've got to run a
hundred metres, two hundred metres and
four-hundred-metre races.
Bernard Isn't that a lot of events?
James It doesn't matter. I won't win, anyway.
Bernard You should have a more positive attitude.
James I'm no good at sports. Dad, I was watching that!
Bernard You need to get fit, my boy.
James Huh?
Bernard Up! Up! Up! It's not the body of an Olympic
athlete, is it?
James I don't want to be an Olympic athlete, Dad.
Bernard You need the right diet. Lots of protein. Protein,
protein, protein! And you need a training
programme.
James Dad!
Bernard Let's start with some running. Running is the best
type of exercise. Come on. Get those knees up.
Up! Up! Up!
***
Bernard Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen ...
James Can we stop, dad?
Bernard No. We haven't started yet. This is just the warm
up ... sixteen ... What team sports do you like
best? Football, rugby, hockey?
James I don't like team sports.
Bernard But you like swimming and tennis, don't you?
James No.
Bernard Well, what sports do you like?
James I quite like darts.
Bernard Hmmm.
James But I always lose.
Bernard Winning is not important. Playing the game is
important. James, please go and bring me the
small, red box on top of my desk.
***
James Are you all right, Dad?
Bernard Fine, thanks. Do you see this? I won this for
winning third place in a race at Standford junior
School.
James That's great, Dad. Do you want to do any more
exercises now?
Bernard Oh, no. I don't want to push you too hard. But
we’ve made a start.
***
Bernard You stupid idiot! These English cricketers are
worse than schoolboys! Did you see that? Here's
the action replay. Watch. You see? The stupid
fool didn't keep his eye on the ball. Keep your
head over the ball like this. You see?
James I think cricket is rather boring, Dad.
Bernard How did your Sports Day go?
James Fine, thanks, Dad.
Bernard You won?
James No.
Bernard You came second?
James No, but I met a nice girl called Louise. Dad, you
said that winning wasn't important.
Bernard Yes.
James Louise won the hundred metres and the two
hundred metres. She's a member of an athletics
club ... Dad, I was thinking about what you said.
It's good to be fit, and I need to train. And you're
quite good at running, so let's go jogging every
day.
Bernard Every day?
James Just for an hour.
Bernard James, I haven't got the time to go jogging for an
hour every day.
James We'll have to get up early in the morning.
Bernard Early in the morning?
James Yes, we'll have to get up early in the morning, so
that we can go jogging before breakfast.
Bernard Before breakfast! Yes, right ... Yes, well ...
James Thanks, Dad.
B
PLAYING THE GAME
Street interviews
Mark I don't like rugby. I really hate rugby.
Joni I love playing tennis and I like horse riding.
Robin I hate playing football, because normally you have
to play it when it's cold.
Mark I like swimming, I like cycling and I love playing
tennis.
Joni I hate swimming because I hate getting wet. And I
really don't like squash.
Fraser I don't really like cricket. It's very boring.
The ad spot
Commentator It's summer time again, and I'm here at
Wimbledon and that means tennis. This year
there will be another exciting championship.
All the best players from around the world
are here. The Americans, the Germans, the
Italians, the Swedes and the Spanish. It's
going to be a very exciting championship.
One player in the championship is Margaret
Baxter. Everyone hopes that she will win,
but this year Margaret hasn't been playing
well. In fact, she hasn't won a game all year.
Margaret, it's been a bad year for you.
Margaret Yes, Simon.
Commentator What's gone wrong with your game?
Margaret I don't know, Simon.
Commentator You don't hit the ball very often.
Margaret You're right. Hitting the ball is a problem.
Commentator And when you hit the ball, you can't get it
over the net.
Margaret Yes. Getting the ball over the net is rather a
big problem.
Commentator The British supporters don't like it.
Margaret Playing tennis would be easier with no net.
Commentator Margaret, some newspapers are saying that
you are the worst player in the
championship.
Margaret Yes.
Commentator Other newspapers are saying that you have
the wrong racquet for the modern game.
Margaret Are they?
Commentator Yes. The new Frazer racquet is more
modern. It's simply a better racquet.
Margaret Yes. It's much better. Playing tennis is much
easier with the Frazer racquet. I'm going to
be the new Wimbledon champion.
Song time
Up, 2, 3, 4, Up, 2, 3, 4.
Up, 2, 3, 4
Jump and walk and swim and run,
Win or lose it's all good fun,
Winning's not important, it's taking part,
So come on, get ready, it's time to start.
Up, get them up.
Up, 2, 3, 4, Up, 2, 3, 4.
Get those feet up off the floor,
Come on, faster! More, more, more!
Running on the spot is good for you,
If you don't know how, I'll show you what to do.
Up, get them up, get them up.
Up, 2, 3, 4, up, 2, 3, 4, up, 2, 3~ 4, up, 2, 3, 4.
Don't make me laugh!
Danny Good evening. Hello. My name's Danny Dodds.
How are you? Are you well? What? Do you think
I'm too fat? You do, do you? You think I look rather
fat. Yes, well. I visited my doctor last month. He
said, 'Do some exercise. Playing games is good for
you'. So I've started playing chess. I play quite well
now, but I'm still too fat. My doctor said, 'Go out in
the fresh air,' so I went fishing with my son.
Fishing's great ... very relaxing. I thought I was
quite good at fishing. I caught a fish. It was big. It
was very big. It was really big!!! It was quite big. It
was fairly big. It was ... oh, never mind. Thanks.
That's all from me. Good night. You've been great.
Street interviews
Mark I really like the tennis tournament, Wimbledon - it's
great.
Joni My favourite sporting event is the Horse of the Year
Show, and I also love Wimbledon.
Fraser My favourite British sporting event is the F.A. Cup
Final - a big football match in May.
Robin I love going to see a good cricket match.
DOCUMENTARY
Sara (VO) Cricket is one of the typically British sports.
Gary (VO) Cricket is a very old game. Some people think it
started in the Middle Ages, and in the 18th
century it became the favourite sport of British
high classes.
Sara (VO) "Lord's Cricket Ground", in London, is cricket's
cathedral. This has been a centre for cricket
since 1814. And even nowadays the most
important matches are played here.
Gary (VO) For example, the matches between the English
national team and teams from other
Commonwealth countries.
Sara (VO) The best way to find out what cricket is, is to go
outside London, to any small village in England.
This is the cricket ground in Ockley, a small
village near London.
Gary (VO) The cricket season is from April to September.
In spring and summer, thousands of amateur
players practise their favourite sport with one of
the many non-professional teams in the United
Kingdom. But, what makes cricket so important
for the British? This is the question we asked
Rod Cowles, a member of the Ockley team.
Rod Possibly because it's a part of the British tradiCowles tion. And we've been playing cricket in this
country for possibly a hundred, a hundred and
fifty years. Like during the winter where the
football and rugby is so important that's always
on the news and in the papers, in the summer it's
totally cricket, and if we do badly during the
summer against the team we're playing that year,
it's
disaster. If we do...doing well, then
everybody's happy. It's very important for the
British people. It is the summer sport in
England.
Sara (VO) Cricket is a very complex game and it's
completely impossible to explain the rules in
five minutes. Many people think that cricket is
like baseball, the American game. But they're
very different.
Gary (VO) Traditionally all the clothes are always white.
The ball and the bat make up the rest of the
equipment. When a player is batting he must
wear protections to avoid accidents.
Sara (VO) As you can see, cricket isn't a very expensive
game. Besides, it is very healthy and relaxing.
Mr Godby Cricket is a form of relaxation for me, and I
think most of the people who play cricket do it
to relax unless they do it to earn a living. There
are professional cricketers in this country who
earn a living by playing cricket. Those who play
for clubs, like Ockley do it ... do it for fun and
relaxation, to be with their team mates, to get
some runs, hopefully score runs out in the
ground and then to have a few drinks later on in
the bar, probably.
Gary (VO) True. The best way to finish a cricket match is to
share a few drinks in the pub. Winning or losing
is not important. What matters is to enjoy the
game and the company of the people who
practise it.
3
FASHION AND BEAUTY
A
IN FASHION?
Rosie It's very kind of you to let me try out some of your
clothes.
Valerie That's OK.
Rosie What do you think?
Valerie You look very nice. Where's George going to take
you?
Rosie He won't tell me. He says it's a surprise. I'm quite
excited. Do you think this looks too casual?
Valerie No.
Rosie I'll wear my hair up ... or does it look better down?
Valerie It's more sophisticated up ...
Rosie Yes, I think so.
Valerie ... but it suits you better down. Don't worry too
much. You look fine.
Rosie Well, it's our first date. I'm going to look my best.
What time is it?
Valerie Six o'clock. What time are you going to meet him?
Rosie At eight. No. This looks too ordinary. I'm going to
wear something more exciting than jeans and a
T-shirt. What style does George like?
Valerie He'll like anything that you wear. He likes you. I
know he's very excited too.
Rosie That doesn't help me much. Oh, what am I going to
wear?
***
Bernard What are you doing?
James It's a new dance, Dad.
Bernard You call that a dance! Have you done your
homework?
James Yes. I've nearly finished it ... Dad, you know those
Riki trainers ...
Bernard No. Those shoes cost seventy pounds.
James Please, Dad. I need a new pair of trainers.
Bernard I've seen a good pair of trainers that only cost
twenty-five pounds.
James But they aren't Riki trainers.
Bernard Riki trainers don't help you run any faster, they're
no better than other shoes, but they are much more
expensive!
James But Dad, I need them.
Bernard You don't need them. It's just fashion.
James All my friends are wearing Riki trainers.
Bernard Why do you want to be like everyone else?
Fashion is so stupid. I know this song. What is this
song?
James It's Dub Boys Mix.
Bernard This was my favourite song! It was on the Black
Band album. What have they done to it?
James It's rap, Dad.
Bernard It's terrible. This was one of the best songs of the
early seventies.
James Who were the Black Band?
Bernard Have you never heard of the Black Band? Don't
they teach you anything at school? They're part of
our culture. I saw them play twice. I wore their
T-shirts. I even had a Black Band hair cut.
James Did you really?
Bernard Yeah ... in those days everyone had a Black Band
haircut. We wore our hair like this.
James When was that?
Bernard 1971
James Never mind, Dad. It'll probably be in fashion again
soon.
Rosie What do you think? Do you think George will like
this?
***
Bernard It looks great, Rosie.
Rosie No, Bernard. I want your honest opinion.
Bernard I think it looks ... a bit boring.
Rosie I don't want you to be that honest.
***
George Too formal ... Mmm. A nice jacket ... Too tight ...
Ugggh! ... Too boring. Yves St Laurent. No. Yes.
Yes. Yes.
***
Rosie Do you think this is in fashion?
Valerie It's a bit out of fashion, really.
Rosie What do you think, Bernard?
Bernard It's OK, but George might think you're a vampire.
Valerie Don't ask Bernard. He doesn't know anything about
fashion.
Rosie Maybe it'll look better with a belt ... or with this
waistcoat ...
***
Rosie Do you think this is too ... sexy?
Bernard No! It looks very attractive.
Valerie Hmmm. I think it looks cheap.
***
Rosie What about these earrings?
Valerie They're fine.
Rosie No, they're too big.
Valerie Rosie, it's nearly eight o'clock.
Rosie What do you think of these shoes? Do you think
the heels are too high?
Valerie Well, George is a short man.
Rosie Maybe if I walk like this, it'll be all right?
***
George Yes, you handsome thing, you! And now for the
piece de resistance.
***
Rosie Does this look attractive?
Valerie You're wearing the same clothes that you were
wearing two hours ago.
Rosie But I feel comfortable in them. Where is George?
He said he'd be here at eight.
George Oh, Princess ... you look beautiful.
Rosie Hello, George.
George Well, what do you think? I bought it especially for
my date tonight. It suits me, don't you think?
Valerie
Yes.
Rosie
George Are you ready for a night of romance?
***
Bernard You'll have to save up your pocket money to get a
new pair.
James It'll take a year to save up seventy pounds. The
trainers will be out of fashion by then!
B
DRESSING UP
Street interviews
Joni I'm wearing a dark jacket, very bright pink jumper,
leggings, because they're comfortable, and blue
shoes.
Robin Today it's my birthday, so I made an extra effort.
I'm wearing a shirt, tie, and a long coat.
Fraser I'm wearing beige trousers, suede shoes made in
Spain, an overcoat, a green shirt, and a white
T-shirt.
Mark I'm wearing grey trousers, a beige jumper and a
beige raincoat. Pretty smart, huh?
***
Joni I think very, very smart clothes will be in fashion
next year.
The ad spot
Presenter Everyone wants to look different. Nowadays no
one wants to look the same. In the past, people
went to Milan, New York or Paris for their
fashion ideas. But now all the fashion editors
and buyers are going to Watford. Barry
Glitteratti, Watford's greatest fashion designer, is
going to show us his exciting new collection.
Hello, Barry.
Barry Hi.
Presenter Are these clothes you're wearing part of the
Glitteratti collection?
Barry Yes.
Presenter Can you tell us a bit about the design?
Barry Next year the colour purple will be in fashion.
And there will be lots of sequins. Sequins are
Presenter
Barry
Presenter
Barry
Presenter
Barry
Presenter
Barry
Presenter
Barry
Presenter
Barry
Presenter
very important in my designs.
So I see. And the style of the trousers?
They are flared at the bottom.
They look very tight.
They are. Next year, tight trousers will be in
fashion.
With flares?
With flares.
The style of your shoes looks quite different,
Barry.
Yes, they're made of plastic.
Plastic? Are they comfortable?
No ... but they are very fashionable.
Fascinating. When will your clothes be in the
shops?
Next spring the Glitteratti collection will be in
all the best shops.
Thank you, Barry. So, watch out for the
Glitteratti collection. The colour purple, the
sequins, the tight trousers and the plastic shoes
are all in the Glitteratti Collection. Are you
excited? I am.
Song time
When I hit the town
I'm dressing up, I've got a date,
What to wear? I mustn't be late.
Shall I put my hair up or let it down?
I've got to look my best when I hit the town.
I've got the hairstyle, got the shoes,
Got the earrings, just can't lose,
Jeans and T-shirt? How about a dress?
When I hit the town, I've got to look my best.
I'm gonna hit the town with my baby,
Gonna hit the town with my baby,
Gonna hit the town, gonna look my best.
Don't make me laugh!
Danny Thank you. Thank you. Hello there. Do you like my
new haircut? You don't like it? It's the latest fashion.
It is. My barber tells me it's a new style. Yes, it's a
very new style. I'm the first. No one's hair looks like
this. My barber is an expert on everything. He can
talk about fashion for hours. He can talk about
politics. He knows more about football than anyone
else. He's an expert on everything ... except cutting
hair. Thank you, madam, thank you. Clothes everybody loves clothes! I surprised my wife with a
beautiful, new dress the other day. Yes, she was surprised! She has never seen me in a dress before.
You may laugh, but all men will wear dresses one
day. They'll be in fashion soon. That's true. My
barber told me. But fashion changes very quickly,
and we must wear what's in fashion. That's a nice
dress, madam. It's really out of fashion. But don't
worry, don't worry - I'm sure it'll be in fashion again
one day. Thank you. You've been great. That's all
from me. Thank you. Good night.
Street interviews
Joni I buy new clothes probably once a month, because
they make me feel good.
Mark I buy clothes when I see something that I like, or
when my clothes get old.
DOCUMENTARY
Sara (VO) How do the British dress? Can you say
there's a truly British fashion? And if so,
what's it like? Is it the fashion you can see in
the windows of London's most expensive
shops? Or is it the fashion of the people who
go to Ascot races? Is it the fashion made
famous by Lady Di ... or that of the other
members of the Royal family?
Gary (VO) I don't think so. The British don't follow just
one fashion today, but a mixture of styles.
Sara (VO) The question now is what about the British
fashion of the future? The young students of
design and fashion have the answer.
Gary (VO) This building is the Business Design Centre.
Every year they have a week of shows and
exhibitions of fashion designed by the
young designers who finish their studies.
Sara (VO) There are several universities and private
schools in the United Kingdom offering
fashion design courses. It is very important
to give the students an opportunity to show
their work.
Gary (VO) Can you imagine what it means for a
student to see the result of their studies on
the catwalk? We wanted to find out, and we
spoke with Rosie Corrodus, a student at
Middlesex University. We asked her how
she felt after the show.
Rosie Corrodus I feel a great joy because I've worked so
hard and to see it finally on the catwalk it
makes me very happy and proud.
Gary (VO) Is it easy for a young designer to be successful?
Rosie Corrodus In England ... it varies ... from country to
country, I believe. But I think if you believe
in yourself and have your own distinct look,
I think it's possible. But it varies, I believe,
from country to country.
Sara (VO) True. This show was a complete success for
Rosie and for all her colleagues. They
showed that the future designers of British
fashion have plenty of imagination.
Gary (VO) Where do you get your inspiration from?
Rosie Corrodus Mainly from myself and what is around me.
But living in London there is many different
nationalities to look at. Everyone in London
has their own style and if you go to a club,
or when you go to study or when you go to
eat, on the street ... many different styles
and ... so I get it from around me and my
own inspiration and ideas.
Gary (VO) At the Business Design Centre there aren't
only clothes, but also other objects that are
part of fashion and design. They have all
been created by young designers who, very
soon, will have in their hands the future of
British fashion.
4
YOU AND YOUR DREAMS
A
NIGHTMARE!
Bernard No! No! No!
Valerie What’s wrong, Bernard?
Bernard I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was driving my car
up Stag Hill. James was in the car with me. He
was in the front seat ... and this lorry was driving
quickly towards us. This lorry was delivering Riki
trainers. I could see the driver of the lorry. He was
a young man with a suit and a bow tie on. He was
driving towards us and he was laughing loudly.
He knew he was going to hit us, but he didn't care.
I looked at James, and he was laughing as well.
Valerie, I know the person who was driving the
lorry ...
Valerie Who was it?
Bernard It was ... I can't remember. It was someone I
knew.
Valerie Goodnight, Bernard.
Bernard It was someone I knew.
Valerie Bernard, I'm tired.
Bernard What does this dream mean? Perhaps it's about
my future. Perhaps I'm going to die in a car
accident!
***
Valerie Bills from the electricity company, bills from the
gas company. And a letter from the bank saying
we're overdrawn. Oh! And what's this? A postcard
from Edwin.
Bernard Edwin?
Valerie He's coming back from Spain. He says he wants
to talk to you about something.
Bernard That's it!
Valerie What?
Bernard I remember - it was Edwin in my dream. I
remember - it was Edwin who was driving the
lorry.
Valerie Really! I wonder what that means. Edwin writes
in the postcard that he wants to talk to you about
something very important.
Bernard Perhaps the dream is a warning. It might mean
that Edwin shouldn't visit us.
Valerie That's nonsense. Anyway, Edwin is arriving
today.
Bernard It's not nonsense. Dreams are important. Julius
Caesar said it was nonsense. Do you remember
what happened to him? His wife, Calpurnia,
dreamt that he was going to die, and then next day
they killed him in the Senate.
Valerie You are not Julius Caesar. No one's going to kill
you. You're just worried about something. Maybe
it's all these bills.
Bernard Dreams often warn of disaster. Do you know that
Abraham Lincoln dreamt someone was going to
kill him in the theatre?
Valerie Edwin is not going to kill you. Perhaps the dream
means that you should drive the car more
Bernard
Valerie
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Edwin
Bernard
Edwin
Valerie
Edwin
Bernard
Edwin
Bernard
Edwin
Bernard
Edwin
Bernard
Edwin
Bernard
Edwin
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Edwin
Bernard
B
carefully ... I'd like to speak to the manager,
please ... Yes, it's about our bank charges ...
No!
Are you all right? Did you hurt yourself?
***
It may mean that you're frightened of something,
or maybe you feel insecure.
Why is it Edwin who is trying to kill me?
It might mean that you think Edwin is better than
you.
Bernard, how are you?
I'm tired, Edwin. I haven't been sleeping very
well.
***
That was a delicious meal. Thank you, Valerie.
It's a pleasure.
Let me help.
Thanks ... No! No!
Yes, let me help.
No, it's OK. I'll do it, thank you.
Bernard ...
Yes?
I've had a bad few months at work, and I'm a bit
short of money at the moment.
I'm sorry.
Do you remember last year I lent you fifty
pounds? It was when we went on holiday
together.
Oh, yes! I'd forgotten all about that. I'm so sorry,
Edwin.
Well, I wonder if I could have the money back?
Yes ... I'm so sorry.
I think this explains the dreams you've been
having. Maybe in your dreams you remembered
about the money.
Here.
You don't mind about the money, do you?
No. I'm happy that I understand the nightmares.
SLEEPY HEAD
Street interviews
Joni I have one recurring dream - I'm in a large house
and I'm running from room to room away from a
group of people.
Fraser I often dream that I'm flying - it's a very strange
dream because sometimes I fall down.
Mark I never remember my dreams.
Joni The strangest dream I had was that I was in a lift
with Prince Charles and the Queen and I don't even
like them, but I was talking to them and saying to
them, 'Your job must be very, very difficult,' and
feeling sorry for them. And in the morning I
thought, 'Why did I talk to them?'
Don't make me laugh!
Danny Last night, as my wife was going to sleep, she put
on a pair of glasses. I asked her very politely, 'Why
are you wearing glasses?' She said she wanted to see
the man of her dreams! Thank you. Thank you very
much. Dreams - do you remember your dreams? I
do. But my dreams are very boring. Every time I
remember my dreams, I fall asleep. But I always
remember my nightmares - my nightmares. Last
night I dreamt I was here on stage, but no one was
enjoying my show. Wake up, Danny! Wake up!
What's your nightmare, madam? Oh, I see, he's
sitting next to you. Hello, sir. I know a man - he
comes to all my shows. He loves my jokes. He says
my jokes are good for his insomnia. He says he
comes to my show to have a nap - he sleeps like a
log. Ah, well. Thank you very much. That's all from
me. Thank you and good night. Sleep well.
Song time
What a nightmare!
In ancient Rome the wind was whistling,
Calpurnia lay and shivered in bed,
She dreamt that Caesar's friends were laughing,
'Tomorrow, Julius Caesar, you'll be dead!'
What a nightmare!
'Tomorrow, Julius baby, you'll be dead!'
In Washington it rained and it thundered,
The President was shivering in his bed,
He dreamt about a man in the theatre,
'Tomorrow, Mister Lincoln, you'll be dead!'
What a nightmare!
'Tomorrow, Abie baby, you'll be dead!'
'Tomorrow, Abic baby, you'll be dead!'
'Tomorrow, Abic baby, you'll be dead!'
Street interviews
Joni I think dreams can tell you that you're under stress
and that you should relax.
Fraser I think dreams can tell you if you are happy or if
you're sad.
Robin I often have dreams about making lots of money,
but I wake up and I see it's not true.
The ad spot
Presenter What is your nightmare? Is it going on holiday in
England? Is your nightmare going on holiday in
the rain for two weeks in the summer or going on
a skiing holiday with no snow? What did you
dream last night? Did you dream that you were
lying on a smooth, white beach under the palm
trees? Did you dream that you were playing
tennis in the hot sun? Did you dream that you
were having a nice, cool drink by the pool at an
expensive hotel? Well, you don't have to dream
any more. You can play the 7hat's English!
Lottery! It's your chance to win millions of
pounds and escape the rain. Or did you dream
that you owned a new car? Or a television? Or a
dishwasher? Or a new sofa? Make your dreams
come true with the 7hat's English! Lottery. It
only costs one pound for each lottery ticket.
Man Yes. Yes! Yes! Yes!! Yes!!!
Presenter Make your dreams come true. Buy your That's
English! Lottery ticket today!
DOCUMENTARY
Sara (VO) Close your eyes and imagine a beautiful
Gary (VO)
Sara (VO)
Richard Booth
Gary (VO)
Richard Booth
Sara (VO)
Richard Booth
place full of fictional characters from
literature. Dream of a town where books are
the main inhabitants. A beautiful dream, isn't
it?
Such a place is not only a dream. It exists in
real life. Its name is Hay on Wye and it's a
little village on the border between Wales
and England. Hay on Wye is the world
capital of second-hand books. The old
butcher's, the old cinema and even the old
fire station are now bookshops. In Hay on
Wye there are books everywhere. And it is
all thanks to a man's dream.
This is Richard Booth. When he finished his
degree in History at Oxford University, he
left for Hay on Wye in search of a different
life style. He dreamt of a town full of books
and his dream became true.
Well, I was educated at Oxford and like most
people educated at Oxford my only hope of
employment appeared in a large town but ...
unless I was of course a doctor or a lawyer,
and I didn't want to be a doctor or a lawyer.
So I came to Hay and I discovered the only
way of making a living was to fill the whole
town with books so we became a centre for
the second-hand things. I think people in
rural areas like the second-hand and to me, I
think, there should be many towns full of
second-hand books.
Hay on Wye is a collectors' paradise. It's
probably the place with the most bookshops
in one street in the world. Every day and
especially at the weekend, the streets of Hay
on Wye fill with literature lovers or simple
visitors looking for new books for their
collections. A visitor could spend hours
browsing around the many bookshelves. But,
what kind of books can you find in Hay on
Wye?
Well, we have to have enough books to
make it worth your while coming here, so we
try and sell books which you cannot find in
London, or Madrid or Tokyo. For example,
I've just started a Hungarian bookshop with
five thousand Hungarian books. I will have a
Spanish bookshop here. It is the first time
this business has been international and ... I
think we must sell books ... we sell many,
many books on English language, English
literature, but also sell books that we cannot
find anywhere else, perhaps even in Europe.
Richard Booth is the true king in the Country
of Books. In 1977 he bought the old castle
and turned it into a big bookshop.
Eventually, Richard Booth has created other
second-hand-book towns in other parts of
Europe and in the United States. But he's
never stopped dreaming. That's why we
asked him: What's your dream for the future?
Well, for all my life I found the most
exciting place in the world was South
America. Nearly all of my life, because it's ...
you know ... natural business I have worked
in North America. We are the largest book
buyers, I think, in Philadelphia, Detroit or
many American cities. But now I feel that I
would love to go to South America. It seems
a very exciting and romantic place for people
who are always in the Anglo-Saxon world.
So my big dream for the future is a SouthAmerican bookshop in Hay on Wye.
5
TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF
A
HOROSCOPES
Rosie I'm in love.
Valerie I know. It's probably infatuation.
Rosie I don't think so. I know I'm in love. I was listening
to the radio this morning. All the love songs were
about George and me.
Valerie Rosie, I'm stuck!
Rosie I feel dreamy. I feel as if I'm floating on a cloud. I
feel creative and happy.
Valerie Rosie, can you help?
Rosie George makes me feel brand new. I'm seeing the
world for the first time. Do you understand?
Everything looks different.
Valerie Rosie!
Rosie Are you all right? Valerie, don't you think George
is so wonderful?
Valerie People say that love is blind.
Rosie That's OK. I don't mind what people say.
Valerie You've only known him a week.
Rosie Yes, a week. A glorious, wonderful week.
Valerie George may not be the right person for you.
Rosie Why not? I've always got on well with Scorpios.
I'm a Libra, you see.
Valerie You have only seen one side of his character.
Rosie What do you mean?
Valerie You don't know him.
Rosie Are you saying George has dark secrets?
Valerie Well, maybe.
Rosie Is there something I should know about him?
Valerie I don't know.
Rosie I think you're just jealous. Do you know what your
horoscope says? You're Virgo, aren't you? It says,
'Although you are going to have a difficult month,
your finances will improve'. It also says, 'Try not to
be jealous of other people's good news'. You see,
you are jealous.
Valerie I don't think I'm jealous of you and George. I just
don't want you to make a mistake ... What's the
matter?
Rosie My horoscope says, 'Be careful of Scorpio men.
They may have a dark secret that could cause you
problems'. I don't believe it. I don't believe in
horoscopes. They're nonsense.
***
George You will love this ... What's wrong?
Rosie I don't know. I don't know anything about you.
George Isn't that exciting? You have a lifetime to get to
know all my dark secrets.
Rosie What dark secrets?
George I was joking.
Rosie What happened to your last girlfriend?
George She left.
Rosie Why did she leave you?
George Oh, I don't know. She didn't like my cooking.
Rosie Did you try to poison her?
George No, I did not.
Rosie What happened?
George She got bored with me.
Rosie What happened to her?
George She took off with an airline pilot. She took off with
an ...
Rosie You're always laughing and joking. I don't trust
you, George. You're too happy.
George Well, I haven't always been happy. When I was a
child, I was very small. I was very sensitive about
my height. At school, the other children laughed at
me. They were very insensitive. Ha, ha, ha, look at
George. He has a funny face.
Rosie Oh, no! That's terrible!
George Well, I told them jokes. I made them laugh. They
laughed at my jokes. I was always a clown. You
see, although I'm quite extrovert, I’m really quite
shy. Then, when I was twenty-one, I got serious. I
was serious about finding a job, I was serious about
finding a girlfriend. Then, one day, I met a girl
called Margaret. She liked me and she didn’t laugh
at me. We went everywhere together. I was in love.
Then, one day I was combing my hair in the mirror.
I saw my hair was coming out. Within a few
months, I’d lost most of my hair.
Rosie You poor man!
George Margaret said it wasn’t important, but I was so
embarrassed, I stopped going out with her. But now
I don’t worry about what people think of me. It’s
not important. It’s what I feel that’s important. And
I feel great. What about you? Did you have a happy
childhood?
Rosie Yes ... no ... I don’t know, George. I don’t want to
talk about myself.
George Ooh! You are in a bad mood. The food won’t taste
as good if you’re in a bad mood.
Rosie I’m sorry.
George Are we going to have out first fight?
***
George What’s the matter?
Rosie George, do you believe in astrology?
George A little bit.
Rosie Read this.
George Yes?
Rosie George, what is your dark secret?
George My dark secret is ... I’m an Aries.
Rosie An Aries! Valerie said you were a Scorpio.
George She was wrong. I was born on April the first. April
Fool’s Day!
B
ALL ABOUT YOU
Street interviews
Joni I’ve got a good sense of humour, but my one fault is
that I’m always late, and my friends get very angry
with me, but when I do arrive, we always have a
good time.
Fraser I’m friendly with a good sense of humour, but ...
I’m a bit lazy.
Mark I’ve got a good sense of humour, I’m patient, but I
can be stubborn.
Robin I’m a bit serious, and very moody.
Don’t make me laugh!
Danny Thank you. Thank you very much. I have a friend.
He is so boring. He never stops talking about
himself. I hate people who talk about themselves all
the time. Don’t you? Yes, I like people who talk
about me. I’m so interesting and other people are so
uninteresting. Don’t you think so? In fact, I’m so
interesting I like to talk to myself. Can I tell you a
story about myself? I had to go and see the doctor
last week. He told me I ought to give up drinking
whisky. He said it could become a habit. I said, ‘I
don’t think so, I've been drinking whisky for twenty
years now'. OK. OK. Maybe I do drink too much,
but I drink because I have a problem. What's my
problem? I drink too much. Oh, I like the old jokes.
But I'm not really a drinker, ladies and gentlemen.
No, no. I only drink when I'm with someone ... or
when I'm alone. Thanks very much. That's all from
me.
The ad spot
Although you are a nice person, are you really quite shy?
Although you are a kind person, can you be firm when you
want to? Are you a weakling? Someone with no friends? A
sad person? When you go to the beach, do all the girls laugh
unkindly at you? Do impolite young men kick sand in your
face? Are you sensitive? Do you get upset? Yes, I think so.
You can't call a policeman. You can't write a letter to the
newspaper. People will still laugh at you and kick sand in your
face. OK, you have no muscles, so buy the new Muscles
Work-Out Machine from That's English! Just five minutes a
day with the new Muscles Work-Out Machine and you will be
amazed. See your legs grow stronger. See your neck muscles
grow bigger. Watch as you become stronger than Superman!
When you're trying to read a book, do people bother you with
unintelligent questions? Do they ... the new Muscles
Work-Out Machine from That's English! Ahhh!
Street interviews
Joni I think my friends see me as somebody who's good
fun - I like to have a laugh. I'm always late, but for
the really important things I'll be there - I'm reliable.
Mark What? ... My wife thinks I never listen to her.
Robin Some people see me as a bit of a clown, but
generally people like me.
Fraser I think sometimes people think I'm a bit noisy, but
they usually laugh at my jokes.
Mark People think I'm friendly ... sociable ... but I can be
a bit moody.
Song time
In the stars
What's happening in the stars tonight?
Is Venus joined with Mars tonight?
I know it's superstitious,
But baby you're delicious tonight.
What's happening in Aquarius tonight?
Will I meet a Sagittarius tonight?
They say that love is blind,
But baby I don't mind tonight.
What's happening out in Leo tonight?
Will I meet a man from Rio tonight?
This romantic situation
May lead to infatuation tonight.
DOCUMENTARY
Jeremy Vine Hello, there! My name is Jeremy Vine and I
come from London. I work here, at
Westminster, as a political correspondent for
the BBC.
Pat Jolly Hello! My name is Pat Jolly. I come from
Sydenham, South- East London.
Buck Burns My name is Buck Burns and I live in Sneem,
on the Ring of Kerry, in Southern Ireland.
Steve Rogers Hello! My name is Steve Rogers and I come
from Edinburgh, in Scotland.
Gary (VO) In English, a person's accent says a lot about
that person. We can know where that person
comes from or the social class someone
belongs to.
Sara (VO) Jeremy Vine works as a political correspondent
for the BBC. His English accent is a perfect
example of the Standard English or the Queen's
English. It's the type of English which some
educated people speak.
Jeremy Vine I speak Standard English. Some people might
also call it the Queen's English. This type of
English is spoken by a lot of BBC presenters.
The BBC doesn't insist on any particular
accent, but this kind of English is the kind
you're learning.
Gary (VO) Accent usually indicates the speaker's social
class. A very special case is that of 'cockneys'.
A cockney is a person who was born in the
East End of London. Their speech is recognized not only for the accent, but also for the
rhyming slang they use. Pat Jolly has some
examples for you.
Pat Jolly I'm a cockney, a Londoner, and we speak different. In English you say 'what's', in Cockney
we say 'wa''. In English you say 'house', in
Cockney we say ''ouse'. In English you say
'water', in Cockney we say 'wa'er'. We also use
a rhyming slang. In English you say 'hat', in
Cockney 'tit for tat'. In English you say 'shirt',
in Cockney we say 'Dicky Dirt'. In English you
say 'tie', in Cockney we say 'Peckham Rye'. In
English we say 'suit', in Cockney we say
'whistle and flute'.
Sara (VO) Let's now listen to the sound of Scottish
English. Steve Rogers is a bus driver. He lives
in Edinburgh, Scotland's capital, and he's going
to give us some examples of the way the Scots
speak.
Steve Rogers Yes, I live in Edinburgh and I speak with a
Scottish accent. In England they would say 'away', in Scotland we say 'awae'. They would
also say 'town', we say 'toon'. And in England
they would say 'lake', but in Scotland we say
'loch'.
Gary (VO) Now we leave for the Republic of Ireland, to
look at one more way of speaking English.
Buck Burns is a teacher at a primary school in
County Kerry. Here, they also have their own
peculiar way of speaking English
Buck Burns Well, there are many variations of accents in
Ireland. In this part of Ireland, in Kerry, if a
person were saying 'The sticks and the stones
are staying on the fence', that person might
say: 'De sticks and de stones are shtaying on de
fence.' Some Irish people have a difficulty with
pronouncing the 'th' sound. People might say
'dis', 'dat', 'dese' and 'dose'. Or 'tirty-tree' instead
of 'thirty-three.'
Sara (VO) These are only four examples of different
English accents. And to finish, we're going to
listen to our four speakers giving you the same
advice in four different accents. Pay attention
to the advice.
Jeremy Vine Remember: watching 'That's English!' is
interesting and very practical. Go for it.'
Pat Jolly And remember: watching 'That's English!' is
interesting and very practical. Go for it.'
Steve Rogers And remember: watching 'That's English!' is
interesting and very practical. So go for it.'
Buck Burns And remember: watching 'That's English!' is
interesting and very practical. Go for it.'
6
MUSIC IN OUR LIVES
A
THE MUSIC OF LOVE
Shall we sit on the sofa? It's more comfortable.
Oh, George ...
Shall I put on some music?
Oh, yes!
What shall I put on?
I don't mind. Some soft, classical music?
I don't have any.
Or Frank Sinatra or. . . the music of love.
Fruitloaf?
Fruitloaf?
Early Fruitloaf or ...
What's Fruitloaf?
Who is Fruitloaf? Fruitloaf’s a rock singer. Have
you never heard Fruitloaf?
Rosie No. I don't think I like rock music.
George Oh, Rosie! You will love Fruitloaf. This is the
kind of music I like.
Rosie I like music that's not too loud.
George
Rosie
George
Rosie
George
Rosie
George
Rosie
George
Rosie
George
Rosie
George
George But you have to play Fruitloaf at full volume. Oh,
Rosie I love you so much.
Rosie George, I like this, but I prefer classical music or
folk music.
George Folk music?
Rosie What's the matter, George?
George I hate folk music.
***
Bernard What's wrong, Rosie?
Rosie George and I had an argument.
Valerie All lovers argue sometimes. What did you argue
about?
Rosie We like different kinds of music. I bought some
tickets for a concert, but George doesn't want to
come now. Here, Bernard, you can have them.
They're no good to me.
Bernard Rosie ...
Rosie There's nothing you can do for me now ...
Valerie Rosie ... that's the broom cupboard.
Rosie I loved him.
Bernard Two tickets to a concert - in three days' time.
Valerie Is it country music?
Bernard No, it's at the Wigmore Hall. The programme has
works by Mozart, Sibelius and Beethoven.
Valerie Oh, classical music.
Bernard You will come with me, won't you?
Valerie No. I don't want to miss EastEnders on TV.
Bernard EastEnders is a soap opera. You can watch that
any time.
Valerie It's very exciting at the moment. I don't want to
miss it.
Bernard Well, you can use the video recorder.
Valerie No, I don't like classical music very much.
Bernard You like Mozart.
Valerie I like to hear Mozart on the radio. It's good
background music, but I don't want to spend an
evening watching an orchestra playing Mozart.
Bernard But it's the Watford Philharmonic!
Valerie No, I'd like to go if it were country music. You
can sing along to country music.
Bernard I know who'll come with me.
***
James No, Dad. I don’t like Mozart or Beethoven.
Bernard Why not?
James Because they're boring.
Bernard They aren't boring. Mozart and Beethoven lived
extraordinary lives.
James But they've been dead for so long. Dead people
are boring.
***
James You don't listen to rap.
Bernard I don't like rap.
James You have never given it a chance. If you listen
and try to enjoy my rap music, I will come to the
concert with you and I'll try to enjoy the classical
music.
***
Rosie Hello? George! ... I'm so sorry ... You do? Oh, so
do I. Darling! Yes. OK. Bye. Oh ...
***
Bernard James, did you enjoy the concert?
James I hated the orchestra.
Bernard Yes, but what about the music?
James The music was OK. Listen to this, Dad. This is
what I like.
Bernard I hate rap music.
James You have to move your body. Come on, Dad.
Shake it! No, that's no good. You need a baseball
cap. Turn up the bass and get with the beat,
Baggy. That's better.
B
MY KIND OF MUSIC
Street interviews
Joni I like most pop music, I like a bit of rock music,
country and western, not classical.
Mark I like classical music, I like jazz, and I like
rock'n'roll.
Fraser I like all kinds of music - anything from opera to
rock'n'roll, but some Japanese music I don't like
because the melody is very strange.
Joni My favourite artist is George Michael. I think his
recent songs really talk to me about my life and
experiences I've had.
Mark I like Kiri Te Kanawa. She has a beautiful voice.
Fraser My favourite artist is Aretha Franklin. She has an
amazing voice.
The ad spot
Is this the kind of music you like? It's all right, but it's a bit
boring. What about rock music? Is this what you like? I like it,
but it's too loud. Listen to this - perhaps it's folk music that
you like. Yes. I like folk music . . . but you don't want to listen
to that for a long time. It's very boring. Do you like blues? Ah,
I like blues. Well, I liked it when I was a student, but now ...
well, it makes me feel sad. I don't want to be sad. Do you like
classical music? Ah, classical music! Mozart. Beethoven.
Bach. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh, classical music! ... But you don't
want to listen to that. Classical music is very old. You've
heard it all before. But this new record, Music for Everyone,
has all kinds of music on it, so there is something for
everyone. And you'll never be bored.
Song time
Feel sad,
Feel blue,
Feel bad,
I want you.
A kind of music
There is a kind of music that makes me think of you,
There is a kind of music that brings me close to you,
There is a kind of song that lets me see what's right,
what's wrong,
So won't you sing my kind of music, sing it all night long.
Street interviews
Robin That sounds great.
Fraser No, I don't like that at all.
Mark Oh, no, that's dreadful!
Joni That's great. Now that is my kind of music – I love
it.
Song time (continued)
Feel sad (oh, won't you sing that music),
Feel blue (you know I need that music),
Feel bad (please sing that music),
I want you.
Sara (VO)
which seemed to have been lost. And the same
has happened with some old instruments, with
the words of songs from rural areas and with
many other elements of their traditional culture.
It's therefore not surprising that the society has
more and more members every day. One of them
is a component of the society's musical group.
We asked her if she thinks of herself as a professional musician.
No, I'm not a professional. I play my music for
fun.
How often do you play your instrument? And
what do you call it?
This is a tin whistle. It's a kind of flute. I play it
maybe once or twice a week.
How important is music in your life?
Music is very important in my life. All my
friends play music and it's a great way of socialising.
For her, for her friends and for many Irish
people, music is more than a pastime; it's a way
of understanding the identity of a whole country.
Don't make me laugh!
Danny Isn't it nice to go out in the evening? I like going to
concerts, but my wife prefers to stay at home and
watch TV. Last month, I bought tickets for the opera.
We went to see Giuseppi Signori in La Traviata. My
wife didn't enjoy his singing, but she kept clapping.
So I said, 'Why are you clapping, darling?' She said,
'Because I'm trying to stay awake'. Yes, it was a
terrible performance and very sad. Why was it sad?
Because I paid so much money for the tickets.
However, the opera had a happy ending. Oh, yes it
did. Everyone was happy when it finished. Now, my
wife is a singer - that's what she says. My wife sings
classical, pop, rock, folk, jazz and blues, but when
my wife sings, they all sound the same. When my
wife sings I always stand outside the front door. I
don't want the neighbours to think I'm hitting her.
Well, thanks very much. That's all from me. You've
been great. Thank you and good night.
7
ADVERTISING
DOCUMENTARY
A
A NEW CAR
Gary (VO) In few countries is music as important as in the
Irish Republic. In Ireland, music is in the streets
and in the people. Any corner in any town is
good enough to play or listen to music. In Ireland, and especially in Dublin, there are lots of
pubs with live traditional music. Musicians and
customers enjoy their favourite pastime together
and have a good time singing and dancing to the
eternal Irish songs.
Sara (VO) Ireland is one of the countries that best looks
after its traditional music. The Comhaltas
Ceoltóirí Éireann is a society created to preserve
Irish music and culture.
Gary (VO) This centre, in Dublin, is the meeting place of
many amateur musicians or simply people who
want to get to know traditional music and dances.
Sara (VO) We wanted to know more about this type of
music and the society. We asked the director why
traditional music is so important in Ireland.
Director Irish traditional music is important in Ireland
because it's part of our culture. It's very old.
Gary (VO) Can you describe Irish traditional music?
Director To describe Irish traditional music I would like to
say that if we could break it into two halves: the
sad type of music which is about laments of our
dead ancestors, and the other half which is folk
music, lively, related with laughter and happy
festivals.
Gary (VO) What kind of people come here and why?
Director The kind of people that come here are people that
are interested in our Irish traditional music, to
play it and to teach it to their kids.
Gary (VO) In the last years, the Comhaltas Ceoltóirí
Éireann has recovered many songs and dances
Musician
Gary (VO)
Musician
Gary (VO)
Musician
Gary (VO)
Tony
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Bernard
TV
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Morning.
Lovely car! What an idiot!
Who are the letters from?
Most of it is just advertising.
Oh, darling, the car didn't start yesterday morning.
I had to get help from Tony. Bernard, I've been
thinking ...
Yes?
I think we need a new car.
A new car! But darling, we have a new car. Well,
newish. It's three years old.
Then could we get a car that works?
We can't afford a new car. It's too expensive.
Darling, do you want a coffee?
Yes, please. Do you know that Tony's got a new
car?
Yes.
Yes. It's a new Sondeus. Tony told me it's got fuel
injection and there's a sunroof.
There isn't enough passenger space in the back of
a Sondeus.
Tony said that if you buy a Sondeus now, you'll
get a three-year guarantee.
Hmmm.
***
Bye, darling.
***
The Sondeus!
Oh, look, there's Tony's car.
Tony's car!
Tony told me that this advertisement cost two
million pounds to make.
Two million pounds to make a sixty-second
television advertisement! What a waste of money!
TV Every man needs a Sondeus. Inside every man,
there is a Sondeus ...
Bernard What an idiot. He buys a car because he sees an
advertisement on television.
Valerie What's wrong with that?
Bernard He shouldn't believe everything that he sees on
television.
TV Before buying a car, take a look at the Sondeus. If
you buy the Sondeus, you will become a new man.
Valerie Isn't there a law that television advertisements
have to be truthful?
Bernard Television advertising is not based on fact. Before
buying our car, I read about the model in Good
Car magazine. I studied the facts and figures. I
listened to the experts.
Valerie But, Bernard, our car doesn't work.
***
Bernard Look at him. He's still out there. Inside every man
there's a Sondeus. What an idiot! He's a victim of
advertising.
Valerie Advertising affects everyone.
Bernard It certainly affects Tony. But it doesn't affect me.
TV Are you worried about your waistline? When you
use new Nora margerine from Makeways, you
will stay fit and healthy. You know it makes
sense.
***
Valerie James!
James Yes?
Valerie What are you doing?
James I'm doing my homework.
Valerie Really?
James I'm doing a project on household waste in
Environmental Studies. Mum, this is terrible.
Valerie Yes, it is. You'd better tidy it up now.
James This is twenty-four hours' worth of rubbish.
Sixty-eight per cent of our rubbish is nonessential
packaging. This is all paper wasted on advertising.
How much waste can one family create in a year?
Valerie I don't care. I just don't want rubbish in my
kitchen.
James Do you know how many acres of tropical
rainforest ...
Valerie Please, James! Not now.
James You and Dad just don't care about the environment.
Bernard Darling, what's this?
Valerie It's margarine.
Bernard I know it's margarine, darling, but it's not Nora
margarine.
Valerie No, but it's cheaper than Nora. It tastes just the
same.
Bernard Can't we have Nora margarine, darling? I'm
watching my weight.
Valerie This margarine is the same as Nora.
Bernard No, it's not.
Valerie Yes, it is. There's a survey of health foods in this
magazine. All the facts and figures are here. You
see, Bernard, you mustn't believe all that you see
on television.
Bernard Oh ...
B
THE HARD SELL
Street interviews
Fraser Yes. Last year I bought a car because I saw it on
television.
Joni I think I am influenced by advertising. If I see, for
example, a new bar of chocolate in an
advertisement, I'll buy it.
Mark I don't think advertising influences me at all.
Song time
Ooh! I want a new car
Ooh! I want a new car,
I've got to have a new car,
Tony's got a new car,
Gotta get a car today.
If you buy this car from me, sir,
You won't have much to pay,
You'll pay me just a little,
A little every day.
If you buy this car from me, sir,
You'll have a lot of fun,
The ladies will adore you,
You'll be their number one.
Ooh! I want a new car,
I've got to have a new car,
Tony's got a new car,
Gotta get a car today,
Gotta get a car today.
The ad spot
Top people buy Dilettante. Before buying anything, they look
at Dilettante. If they can't see it in Dilettante, they won't buy
it. They put Dilettante on their coffee tables. They carry it
when they go out. They look at the pictures and they want to
buy what they see. Dilettante is really interesting. There is no
news in Dilettante. There are no boring articles, just
advertisements. Advertisements for very large diamond
brooches and gold watches. There are pages of advertisements
for very expensive dresses and perfumes. We only have fifty
thousand readers. But fifty thousand is enough, because they
are rich readers. Readers with money. Too much money. They
have money to spend on useless products. If you want people
with money to see your advertisement, you must book
advertising space in Dilettante. You could advertise in this
space. If you have a product that is useless and terribly
expensive, talk to us at Dilettante. Our readers want to buy
your product. If you advertise in Dilettante, you will become
successful. And when you become successful, you will want
to buy Dilettante and put it on your coffee table.
Don't make me laugh!
Danny Thank you very much, I'm Danny Dodds. You
know, my manager is no good. Last month he
said to me. He said, 'David . . . ' - my manager
knows me very well! My name's Danny - he
said, 'David, you're going to perform in the
Comedy Club and there's lots of publicity for
you. Publicity! Well, here is the publicity! Look
at it! Yes, advertising. It's everywhere, isn't it?
John
Danny
John
Danny
Housewife
Danny
There's advertising on the television. There's
advertising in the newspapers. Look! Pages and
pages of it. Well, I've been thinking. You know
comedians don't get paid a lot of money, so I'm
selling space in my show for advertising. Are
you interested? You, sir, what's your name?
John.
And what do you do?
I'm an English teacher.
Ah. Here's an advertisement for John. If you
learn English from John, you'll never be wrong!
Learn English from John! That was very good.
John, that'll be £10. And you, madam. What do
you do?
I'm a housewife.
A housewife. Hmmm. You don't need
advertising, madam. You've got enough work.
My wife loves watching advertisements on
television. She sees an advertisement for a sofa.
The advertisement says, 'it lasts for ever'. But
the sofa doesn't last for ever - paying for it lasts
for ever. Anyway, my wife buys the sofa. She
sees an advertisement for a new carpet and she
buys it. She sees an advertisement for a table
and she buys it! But my wife says it's a good
investment. I will be paying for this furniture
for a long time - for years. And when I finally
finish paying, I will have some genuine
antiques. Thank you very much. That's all from
me. Thank you and good night.
Gary (VO)
Sara (VO)
Carolin Crawford
Sara (VO)
Carolin Crawford
Street interviews
Joni It's fruity, it's healthy, it's good for you, there are no
calories - That's English! jam.
Fraser Buy this. It's sticky and sweet and it doesn't fall off
your bread.
Mark You should try That's English! jam - it's delicious.
DOCUMENTARY
Sara (VO) Piccadilly Circus is in the centre of London. It's a typically British image.
Piccadilly Circus, however, wouldn't be
the same without its famous neon
advertisements.
Gary (VO) As in any modern nation, publicity is
quite important in the United Kingdom.
To sell a product you have to make
people know it. And the British are
experts at that. But how is an
advertisement made? We asked Mr
Nolan, Creative Director of a publicity
agency.
Mr Nolan Yes, it starts ... we meet the clients, we
discuss the needs, see what the product
is. Then we do some research, we find
out how that product fits in the
marketplace ... Thirdly we then begin
coming up with ideas to match the needs
of the client.
Fourthly we show the
client the ideas. Hopefully they approve
them. We then lastly produce the ideas
Sara (VO)
Mr Nolan
by way of the magazine ads, newspaper
ads. We have photographers take
pictures, TV use directors to film it. Then
it appears on newspapers, on TV, etc.
Publicity is a good way of getting to
know how the British live and what their
main interests are. British publicity is
very creative, and it uses humour for all
kinds of advertisements.
The British, however, are very serious
when it comes to regulating publicity.
The Advertising Standards Authority is
the agency responsible for watching over
the use of stereotypes which can cause
offence. So we asked Carolin Crawford,
the agency's director, about the rules
which regulate standards in publicity.
The Advertising Standards Authority
doesn't have particular rules on stereotyping, but we do have a section of
our code about decency, that advertisements shouldn't offend people. If a
stereotype causes offence, for example
it's a negative racial stereotype, then the
Authority will ask for the advertisement
to be withdrawn.
What do you do about misleading
publicity?
The code of practice that we operate
requires that advertisements should not
mislead the public. So advertisements
should not mislead by omission,
exaggeration, ambiguity or anything else
that is likely to affect your decision to the
advertised product. If we feel the
advertisement is misleading in any way,
then we will ask for it to be withdrawn
and not to be repeated until it has been
corrected.
They pay special attention to publicity on
television. Tobacco advertisements are
completely forbidden, and those of
alcohol and underwear are controlled and
only shown late at night. Aren't these
rules too strict for the creativity of a
publicity agency? Mr Nolan gave us his
opinion on the subject.
I don't think the rules are strict. I actually
think they're fair. They ... they're there to
protect the public, the audience, from
unnecessary views of violence, of
aggression, sexism, racism. Things like
you cannot say your car is the fastest car
in the world, unless it is. So I think that's
a good thing. It's like a football game.
The rules are there to protect you, the
player and the audience from unnecessary violence, for instance. But at the
end of the day it creates a good game.
You can all participate and enjoy.
MODULE 6 TELEVISION TRANSCRIPTS
1
HOLIDAY TIME
A
LET'S TAKE A HOLIDAY!
Agent Good morning. Can I help you?
Valerie Yes, we'd like to go on holiday.
Agent Well, you've come to the right place! What kind
of holiday are you interested in?
Valerie We're not sure. We’ve just decided that we want
to go on holiday. We need a break.
Agent Europe? The Far East? Or do you prefer America?
The Seychelles or Torquay?
Valerie We'd rather go to Spain.
Agent Spain? Why do you want to go to Spain?
Valerie Because we like the sunshine and the people and
the language and the food ...
Agent OK. OK. Fine. You're the customer. It's your
holiday. Now what sort of holiday? Do you prefer
beach holidays to activity holidays? Would you
rather have a hotel or a self-catering apartment.
Valerie We want a hotel by the beach.
Agent I see. And how long do you want to go for?
Bernard A few days.
Valerie Ten days.
Valerie
A week.
Bernard
Agent Perhaps it would be better to stay in England. In
Torquay, in the west of England, it can be very
sunny in July - up to thirty degrees. They say it
has reached thirty-three ... although I can't
guarantee it, of course.
Valerie But we want to go to Spain.
Agent You don't want to go to Spain by air. Not next
week. There will be flight delays. At this time of
year, the air traffic controllers all go on strike.
Heathrow is full of screaming children. Going on
holiday abroad can be a nightmare. I wouldn't
advise it.
Valerie What kind of travel agent are you?
Agent I'm a friendly travel agent and I would advise
Torquay.
Bernard Torquay ...
Agent Ah, Torquay! There are beautiful, sandy beaches,
clean beaches! Very nice restaurants. One of the
best things about Torquay is ...
***
Agent ... is that it is close to Brixham.
Valerie So what?
Agent Fresh fish, that's what. Fresh fish every day, off
the fishing boats. Do you like fresh fish?
Bernard Yes!
Agent Then go to Torquay.
Valerie If all I wanted on holiday was fresh fish, I
wouldn't go to Torquay, I'd go to Brixham.
Agent You're right. The fish is fresher in Brixham ... but
unfortunately all vacancies in Brixham have gone.
Valerie Why do you insist that we should go to Torquay?
Agent Oh, was I insisting? Well, it's because I always go
there for my holidays.
Valerie I don't want to go to Torquay.
Agent Have you ever been there?
Valerie No.
Agent Well, you could just be lucky . . . Mind you, most
places are fully booked at the moment.
Bernard I've never been to Torquay. We could go by train.
Valerie No, Bernard. He's mad.
Agent Oh, no, no, no, no, no! This is terrible! I can't
believe it!
Bernard What's the matter?
Agent Everything is booked up. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Valerie Come on, Bernard. We're wasting our time.
Agent Just a minute. There might be one possibility here.
Yes! My, word! You are a lucky couple.
Bernard I'm sorry?
Agent Shangrila! How perfect!
Valerie What?
Agent It's a guest house in Torquay. Mrs Chambers that's the landlady - has just had a cancellation for
next week. What good luck! It's bed and
breakfast. It's terrific value -just ten pounds a
night per person.
Bernard That's reasonable.
Agent A traditional English cooked breakfast. Can't you
smell the bacon and eggs and grilled tomatoes?
Valerie I want more than a good breakfast.
Agent Yes, of course you do. You want an ice-cream!
Bernard What facilities does Mrs Chambers' guest house
have?
Agent You would have your very own wash basin which
would, of course. be en suite. In the residents'
lounge, there is a television with full colour.
***
Agent Have a good time . You'll love it. Bye ... Mum?
Guess what. I have a very nice couple coming to
stay with you next week. Mr and Mrs Wilson.
Now, Mum, these are important customers ...
B
SUNSHINE ALL THE WAY
Street interviews
Mrs Addison Oh, the weather was really marvellous. It
was sunshine all the way, and we did enjoy
it.
Lin On my last holiday, I went to New England
in America, and it rained all the time. The
weather was really dreadful.
David The weather on my last holiday was terrible.
It rained every day.
Sara The last holiday I had in fact was a couple of
weeks ago in Devon, which was rainy and
horrible. I wish I could have gone on a nice,
sunny beach.
Melissa We went to a holiday camp; and the weather
was all right.
Don't make me laugh!
Danny Thank you. Thank you very much. Do you like
travelling? My wife - she likes travelling. She'd
rather travel than do anything else. So, when she
said she wanted to see the world....
Man You bought her a map!
Danny Oh, you've heard that joke before. Never mind! Yes,
I bought her a map. The old jokes are the best jokes.
When I go on holiday, I like to forget my worries,
forget my problems - I like to forget everything.
Yes, but unfortunately, when I arrive at my hotel
and open my suitcase, I find that I have forgotten.
everything. No? When I arrive at my hotel and open
my suitcase, I find that I have forgotten everything.
My wife prefers a 'cultural' holiday to a beach
holiday. Oh, yes, she's very sophisticated ... Well, I
used to think she was very sophisticated. This year, I
asked her, 'Would you like a book for your
birthday?' 'No, thank you,' she said. 'Why not?'
'Because I've already got one.' Oh, never mind.
Anyway, my wife and I decided to go to Venice this
year for a 'cultural' holiday. Yes, Venice. Have you
been there? To Venice? In Italy? Yes? You have? It
isn't a bad place, is it? It's not very modern, but the
ice-cream is excellent. While we were in Venice, the
weather was beautiful. It was sunny every day. But
we only stayed for a few days. Why? Because the
city was full of water! There was water everywhere.
We had to travel everywhere by boat. It was very
strange! My wife was sea-sick crossing the street.
My wife was sea-sick, crossing the street. Oh, well,
please yourselves. Anyway, it's time for a song.
Music, maestro!
The ad spot
Voiceover Here are the Ackroyds. That's Mr Ackroyd.
He looks tired, doesn't he? He's worked very
hard in his office all year. And there's Mrs
Ackroyd. They need a good holiday.
Mr Ackroyd A good holiday. That's what we need - a
good holiday.
Voiceover Yes, relax. That's it. Oh, what fun.
Mrs Ackroyd Let's go to a beach - a lovely, sandy beach.
Voiceover Don't forget your chairs . . . And the sandwiches ... An~ the tea ... And the bucket and
spade ... And the beach ball.
Mrs Ackroyd And the sun cream?
Mr Ackroyd Oh, you won't need sun cream. And you
won't need those sunglasses.
Mrs Ackroyd Now we're ready to have fun.
Mr Ackroyd Maybe we ought to take an umbrella.
Voiceover No. You have forgotten something. The new
Cromer windbreaker. That's it. The new
Cromer windbreaker - for the North-Sea
winds. You won't get cold with the Cromer
windbreaker. That's it. Two people can easily
carry the new Cromer windbreaker. Now you
are ready for the beach.
Mr Ackroyd Yes, we prefer the new Cromer windbreaker.
Mrs Ackroyd Because, in Great Britain we have to be
prepared for all types of weather.
Street interviews
Keith I'd rather go on a touring holiday, because I
don't like spending too much time in the sunshine.
Mrs Addison I'd rather go on a touring holiday, I think.
Somewhere where we can see something
different, rather than just sunshine.
Marcella I'd prefer to go on a sunshine holiday and do
some sunbathing.
Frank I'd prefer to go on a touring holiday where I
can experience the culture of the country and
meet the people.
Sara I prefer sunshine holidays. The English
weather is so bad. It's always raining, and it's
really nice to go and lie on a nice, hot, sunny
beach.
Song time
The Costa Torquay
It can be windy on the Isle of Capri.
It's always busy and noisy in Paree.
We think it's a bit too Italian in Rome.
We'd rather be somewhere closer to home ...
Come to the Costa Torquay.
It's by the sea.
You can stroll arm in arm,
In the shade of the palms,
On the Costa Torquay.
There are too many French in Calais.
Jamaica is much too far away.
It's too cold in Sweden, it's too hot in Spain.
No, we prefer Devon - you can get there by train.
Come to the Costa Torquay.
I love B&B!
You can sing, you can dance,
You can look for romance.
It's much nicer than France,
On the Costa Torquay.
DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO): This is Dublin, the capital of Ireland.
Sara (VO): And this is the Liffey, the river that flows
through Dublin and divides it into two:
the north and the south.
Gary (VO) Dublin's modern Irish name, Baile Atha
Cliath, is a reference to an old bridge over
the Liffey, and it reflects the importance
of the river for Dublin.
Sara (VO) Unfortunately the Irish language in
Dublin is present in little more than car
plates or street signs.
Gary (VO) Across O'Connell Bridge towards the
south is Trinity College, founded by
Elizabeth the First of England.
Sara (VO) Inside Trinity College is the beautiful Old
Gary (VO)
Sara (VO)
Gary (VO)
Sara (VO)
Sara (VO)
Gary (VO)
Street seller
Interviewer (VO)
Street seller
Interviewer (VO)
Street seller
Interviewer (VO)
Street seller
Interviewer (VO)
Street seller
Interviewer (VO)
Street seller
Gary (VO)
Sara (VO)
Library, with some of the oldest Irish
manuscripts.
Opposite Trinity College is the Bank of
Ireland, originally built as the seat of the
Irish Parliament.
And nearby is Dublin Castle, the symbol
of English power in Ireland. The English
viceroys lived there for many centuries.
The English left many things in Ireland:
their language and their architecture.
Dublin is a city full of life, with over two
thousand pubs where you can sing, dance
and talk over a pint of Guinness, the famous Irish dark beer.
It's also very pleasant to go for a walk
around the popular Moore Street Market.
Dubliners are friendly people, always
ready to engage in conversation.
Anyone there for tobacco? Anyone there
for tobacco? Anyone there...?
Excuse me, where do you come from?
Dublin.
Dublin! Mmm. Would you recommend
Spanish tourists to come to Ireland?
I would, certainly.
Why?
Because our part of it is friendly and it's
nice for tourists, and the country preferably for the scenery.
So, what part of Ireland would you
recommend to tourists?
Killarney, Donegal, Wexford.
That's the country, is that right?
Oh, there's lots of parts.
Following her advice, we travelled to the
Ring of Kerry, an area in the southwest.
This part of Ireland, surrounded by high
mountains, is unspoiled, with beautiful
lakes and rivers. The weather here is very
mild all year round, with temperatures
between 8 and 16 degrees Centigrade.
There are lots of routes you can take: on
foot ... by bicycle ... by boat ... on horseback or in a horse-drawn carriage. It's not
surprising that the Ring of Kerry, with its
typical picturesque villages, attracts
thousands of tourists, who come to this
part of Ireland looking for beautiful
scenery or a relaxing holiday.
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
George
2
FOOD AND DIET
Valerie
A
A TEASPOONFUL OF CHILLI
George
Rosie
George
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
Valerie
Rosie
George wanted to know if I could cook.
Oh, dear. What did you say?
I told him I could cook.
Why?
I didn't want to tell him the truth. George loves
Rosie
food. He talks about food all the time. He's
passionate about it. He loves oysters.
So do I.
Yuk. They're disgusting. George would be so disappointed if he knew I couldn't cook. So I told him I
was a brilliant cook.
Why did you lie?
To please him.
He's going to find out sooner or later.
He's going to find out next Friday.
How?
He's coming round to my place for a meal.
Oh, no!
Yes. When I boasted about my cooking, he got very
excited. He said he had to taste my speciality.
What's your speciality?
I don't have one. You know my favourite dish.
Sausages with mashed potatoes.
Yes, and I can't give George sausages with mashed
potato. Valerie, you have got to help me.
You have to tell George the truth.
Never! Valerie, you've got to help me, please.
You've got to teach me to cook.
You can teach yourself. There are lots of good
cookery books.
***
What were you going to suggest, then?
Why don't you cook for George at our house? I
know a dish that will drive him wild. I got the
recipe when I was on holiday in France.
I'm not going to cook snails or expensive French
food!
No, don't worry. This dish doesn't cost very much,
it tastes delicious and it's easy to cook. But you'll
need to buy the ingredients.
Ok. I'll just get a pen and write them down.
You want two fillets of white fish.
Two fillets of white fish. What kind of white fish?
Fillets of cod will be fine. But you must make sure
that the fish is fresh.
Fresh fillets of cod.
Half a medium-sized onion.
Half a medium-sized onion.
A hundred grams of flour.
How much flour?
A hundred grams.
What's that in ounces?
I don't know. You'll have to look it up. One
teaspoonful of chilli sauce.
Hang on. Could you go a bit more slowly, please?
A hundred grams of chopped green peppers.
Hello, Valerie. I've run out of basil, so I've come to
buy some.
You could have taken some from the garden. We've
got lots.
Hi, Rosie, what are you doing here?
I'm just buying the ingredients for Friday.
I'm really looking forward to tasting your
speciality.
Mmm! You'll love it!
***
Valerie Oh, when you're cooking the sauce, you must taste
it. It may need a pinch of salt or pepper ...
Rosie I mix the butter with the flour and put the five
teaspoons of chilli with the chopped tomatoes ...
four ... five ... and add the purée.
George Hello, Rosie.
Rosie George, you re early!
George I'm hungry. I'm so excited about this meal. You
know, this morning I didn't have any breakfast.
Rosie George, I don't want you to watch. It'll make me
nervous. Have a drink.
George Of course. A good chef must have room to breathe.
You must have space to create.
Rosie Add the bay leaf ... pour on the wine mixed with
water ... and add the chilli ...
George You know, my last girlfriend didn't have any
interest in food. Oh, and she hated oysters. Do you
like oysters?
Rosie I love them. Yes, they're so delicious with frogs'
legs ... Mmmm. That's delicious. You'll love this ...
George Mmm! That must be good.
***
George Are you all right?
Rosie Yes. I'm all right now.
George Good. Look, why don't we go out to eat?
Rosie Yes.
George A nice, cold bottle of champagne might help to cool
your mouth.
Rosie Oh. yes.
George And some oysters. I know just the place to get the
most beautiful oysters you could imagine.
B
OYSTERS AND CHAMPAGNE
Street interviews
David I think a Spanish person coming to Britain
should certainly try fish and chips.
Mr Addison I would recommend to order fish and chips.
It's eaten all over the world, and certainly all
over England.
Frank I'd recommend a casserole with lots of meat
and vegetables.
Sara I would recommend that a Spanish visitor tries
our Yorkshire pudding and roast beef and roast
potatoes.
Keith I recommend fish and chips - very tasty.
Don't make me laugh!
Danny Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Do
you like drama? You do? You like drama? History?
Comedy? Tragedy? You do? Then you will love my
wife's cooking. Yes, her cooking is a tragedy. Her
cooking - it's so bad that it's a tragedy! No, but
seriously, my wife's a wonderful woman. But the
first time I saw her in the kitchen, I knew she wasn't
a good cook. She was trying to open an egg with a
tin opener. She was trying to open an egg with a tin
opener! And I will never forget the day that she
boiled some eggs in water, and then served the
water as chicken soup! She boiled the eggs in water
and then served the water as chicken soup. Oh,
never mind. But my wife - I knew that she wasn't a
food lover. She gave me a fork to eat the soup. A
fork! She gave me a fork to eat the soup! I always
say to her, 'Darling, what's this on my plate?' She
says, 'Why do you want to know?' I say, 'Because I
may have to describe it to my doctor later!' Every
time she cooks a new recipe, I get a new
prescription from my doctor. Yes, a new
prescription from my doctor. But I love cooking.
Yes, I do! All my family are good cooks. My Uncle
Bert is a fanatical cook. He even puts salt and
pepper on his toothpaste! He even puts salt and
pepper on his toothpaste! Thank you! Thank you!
You've been a wonderful audience! Thank you very
much.
The ad spot
Voiceover This man is a successful accountant. But today
men need to learn to cook, because women are
going out to work. Ah, he's found the note. Most
British men can't cook. But it isn't difficult with
Mr Beeton's Cook Book. First of all, you have to
find the kitchen. Yes, that's the kitchen. You
cook food in the kitchen. Now today we're going
to start with something simple. Yes, we're going
to make an omelette and chips. First of all, we
need some potatoes. Yes, well done. That's a
potato. No, no, no. Don't do that. You have to
peel potatoes and cook them before you eat
them. Now you need a few eggs. They're kept in
the fridge. No, the fridge is that cold place in the
corner. That's good. No, put that beer back in the
fridge. We don't need beer to make an omelette,
do we? Now, take out the eggs. That's it. Now
take a frying pan. No, that's a spatula. That's it.
And now pour a tablespoonful of oil into the
frying pan. Well done! That wasn't too difficult,
was it?
Wife Hello, darling. This food looks good. Well done.
You see, it really is easy for men to cook with
Mr Beeton's Cook Book.
Street interviews
Sara I don't do any cooking. My partner does all
the cooking in our household.
Mr Saunders I cooked a pasta only last night. It was,
basically, put the pasta in the saucepan, put
some water to it and boil it up, put some
garlic and some onion into a saucepan and a
bit of tomato sauce, heat that up and mix
them together - very nice meal.
Rowshon Toast the bread and put some cheese on it ...
I don't know!
Marcella The easiest recipe I know is jacket potato,
where you scrub the skin, pop it in the oven
for about an hour and a half, take it out,
butter it and eat it.
Song time
Oysters and champagne
He takes my coat, then takes my hand,
'Arc you hungry?' I say, 'Yes'.
He whispers, 'Close your eyes, it's something special, try to
guess’.
I taste it once, I taste it twice, a little salt, some spice,
A pinch of herbs, a drop of wine. What is it? Something nice.
school has more students every year.
Gary (VO) The students can take different courses: a
three-month course on a concrete topic, or a
one-year course which prepares the students
for various jobs in restaurants.
Sara (VO) In these courses, the students learn how to
choose food for its quality, the right type of
wine for each dish, and, of course, how to
prepare different dishes.
Gary (VO) But they don't only learn theory. They also
practise. The school has a fully equipped
kitchen where the students can practise what
they've learned in the classes and prepare their
own dishes. That way, the students learn to
appreciate good-quality food, and have a good
time looking for new flavours and creating new
dishes, or simply learning how to cook their
favourite dishes.
Sara (VO) We asked Wendy, a student at Leith's School,
why she's interested in cooking.
Wendy I love food. I think cooking is a very creative
career. And I like trying new recipes. And, of
course, I like to eat the food.
Gary (VO) We also asked Wendy to tell us what her
favourite cuisine is and why.
Wendy I like all nationalities. I think every country has
something interesting. But my favourite food is
Italian, mainly because they use local produce.
I love pasta and it makes me think of the
sunshine.
Sara (VO) But the best thing about Leith's School is that
the students can 'eat the exercises'.
Gary (VO) This is good proof that learning is not only
food for the spirit, but also for the body.
It isn't oysters and champagne,
It is delicious, but not oysters and champagne.
The kind of dish that makes you think of sunny Spain,
Or Paris in the rain.
It isn't oysters and champagne,
My only wish is 'let me taste that dish again'.
I want the recipe, so tell me, what's its name?
Give me more of the same,
Though it's not oysters and champagne.
No, it's not oysters and champagne.
DOCUMENTARY
Sara (VO) British cuisine doesn't have a very good
reputation. Most visitors to the United
Kingdom think British food is boring and not
very tasty. If you ask them for the name of a
typical British dish, most of them will only say
'fish and chips'.
Gary (VO) Fortunately, this is not the only British dish.
The British are beginning to take more and
more care of what they eat, and in the last few
years a number of good restaurants have
opened with some really delicious traditional
dishes.
Sara (VO) We asked an expert gastronome, Fiona Burrel,
why British cuisine isn't as well-known as that
of other European countries.
Fiona Burrel I think because in the last century a lot of
French chefs came over to work in Britain, and
they worked in the large houses, and they
worked in hotels. And they brought with them
French cuisine, so for many years the typical
cuisine or cooking that you would get in
Britain, in the large grand houses or in
restaurants, hotels, would be French. Then in...,
during the Second World War, in the 1940s,
early 1940s, there was very little food around
for the people to eat and they had to make the
most of what they had, and they had very poor
food. They had to cook it for a long time to
extract every bit of goodness from it. And so
they really forgot how to cook. There is very
good British food around, and in the last
twenty years it's becoming much, much better.
The restaurants are getting very good and
people at home are becoming more interested
in food and cooking. So I would say it's
changing quite a lot now.
Gary (VO) Fiona Burrel is the principal of 'Leith's School',
a private school that trains the future gourmets
of British cuisine.
Sara (VO) As Fiona Burrel said, in the last few years the
British, especially the young, have become
interested in good food. That's why this type of
3
GOSSIP
A
YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE IT!
George Do you remember the first time you met old
Victor Knowles? It was very funny. It happened
the day after you cooked a meal . . .
***
George Hello, Valerie.
Valerie George!
George For you!
Valerie Oh, thank you.
George No, thank you for the meal last night. It was
fantastic. I wish Rosie could cook as well as you
do. In fact, I wish she could cook.
Valerie Oh, George, there's a man in your garden.
George Yes: that's Vic.
Valerie What's he doing there?
George He's doing some gardening for me.
Valerie Are you sure he knows about gardening?
George No ... but he hasn't got a job at the moment.
Valerie I'm not surprised.
George He said he had some problems.
Valerie Yes. I can see that.
George Some emotional problems.
***
Valerie How was work?
Bernard Awful! Maggie came in. You know what she's
like. She talks and talks. She gossips about her
neighbour's brother's wife's minor operation last
year.
Valerie Bernard!
Bernard What are you reading?
Valerie It’s an article about Quinten Sayles' new wife.
You should read it.
Bernard You know I'm not interested in gossip. The
newspapers make these stories up. None of them
is true.
Valerie It doesn't matter if the stories are true, as long as
they're interesting.
Bernard I'm not interested in an old film star's fifth wife …
Whose are these?
Valerie They're mine.
Bernard Yes, but who are they from?
Valerie Guess.
Bernard Are they from George?
Valerie Aren't they beautiful? He's so thoughtful and kind.
He's a real gentleman. Rosie is a lucky woman.
Bernard You're not jealous of her, are you?
Valerie No. I'm pleased she's found someone so
considerate.
Bernard Hmm. I can be considerate too, you know.
Valerie I know you can, darling.
Bernard Valerie, who's that man in our garden?
Valerie That's Vic.
Bernard What's he doing there?
Valerie He's gardening.
Bernard That's Vic Knowles, isn't it? I've heard a few
things about him.
Valerie Who is he?
Bernard He suddenly appeared in the town a couple of
years ago. No one knows where he came from. No
one knows where he lives. He just suddenly
appeared. There were lots of rumours about him.
Phil's sister-in-law thought he was a criminal. I
think he looks dangerous.
Valerie I think he looks sad.
Bernard I wish he wouldn't wave that axe around like that.
***
Vic Hello. Hello. Could I have a cup of tea?
Rosie Yes ... of course.
Vic And a chat.
Rosie A chat? What about?
Vic I like to chat about anything. The weather, the
trees, the flowers, the past. I get lonely.
Rosie OK. Come in. I'll get you a cup of tea.
***
Vic There was a terrible storm last week, wasn't there?
Rosie Was there? Oh, yes ...
Bernard Rosie, are you all right?
Rosie Yes.
Bernard Thank goodness. Put the axe down on the floor.
Now move towards the door slowly. That's it.
Open the door and go outside. He's a dangerous
man.
Vic Could I have some milk and a little sugar in my
tea?
Rosie I had no idea he was dangerous. That was very
brave of you to save me like that.
Bernard Go and phone the police. Tell them there's a dangerous man in the garden of number twelve. Tell
them I have disarmed him.
Rosie Are you sure he's dangerous?
Bernard Yes. You must hurry!
***
Valerie I think Bernard was just trying to be helpful.
Bernard Yes, well. I heard from Phil's sister-in-law that he
was a dangerous criminal.
George Ah, well, you shouldn't believe all that gossip. Do
you know, Vic is so gentle that he gets upset if he
has to cut down a tree.
B
DON'T TALK BEHIND MY BACK!
Street interviews
Chloe I gossip about boys.
Melissa Me too.
Lin Some gossip I've heard lately is that two people I
work with, who've worked together for many
years, are now a couple. They've had ... they've
begun a relationship after all this time, and
everyone is very pleased about it - we like them
both.
Marcella I don't gossip a lot really, just if people want to
know something and I know it, then I'll tell them.
Don't make me laugh!
Danny Thank you! Thank you very much! Do you like
small talk? There is a lot of small talk in the street
where I live. There's Mrs Evans who lives at
number forty-two. You can always tell when she's
gossiping ... you can see her lips move. You can
always tell when she's gossiping ... you can see her
lips move. But she's a marvellous woman. Last
week she told me that she was thirty years old ...
But I know she's celebrating the twenty-fifth
anniversary of her thirtieth birthday. She's
celebrating the twenty-fifth anniversary of her
thirtieth birthday. I said to her, I said, 'Don't you
remember when you were born?' And she said, 'No,
I was too young'. Oh, there's nothing like a good
joke, is there?
Man No. And that was nothing like a good joke.
Danny And there's Mr Jones who lives at number twentyfour. He's always talking behind people's backs ...
well, he's a barber. Yes, he's always talking behind
their backs. You know ... talking about them
without them knowing ... He's always talking behind
their backs ... well, he's a barber. He's cutting hair
behind their backs. Oh, never mind ... And then
there's Mr Simpson who lives at number sixty-three.
He lives on his own now. Mrs Simpson left. He said
to her, 'Darling, how can you leave me?' And she
said, 'It's easy - I can go by taxi, by car or on foot'.
Well, they say the old jokes are the best ...
Song time
Gossip, ooh, gossip
Gossip, ooh, gossip.
Have you heard about my cousin's best friend's son,
Who used to go next door to have some fun?
When the husband came home, he had to get up and run.
Gossip, I love gossip.
Have you heard about my cousin's sister-in-law?
Well, I wouldn't like to tell you everything I saw,
When her neighbour called and didn't close the door.
Gossip, yeah, gossip.
Have you heard about my cousin's husband's mother,
Who ran away with her best friend's brother?
When that didn't work, she ran away with another.
Gossip, I love gossip.
Ooh, gossip.
Street interviews
Mr Addison Oh. the best place to hear gossip is in the
shops.
Mrs Addison Well, I think the best place is at coffee
mornings.
Sara The best place to hear gossip, for me, is in
my office around the coffee machine.
Rowshon The best place to hear gossip is at the pub.
David I think the best place to hear gossip is at
work. When people are at work they gossip a
lot.
Marcella On the bus, that's the best place to hear
gossip.
The ad spot
Woman This is the Small Talk Manual! It's marvellous!
Before I had this manual, I used to be like this sad
man behind me. Darling!
Man I'm sorry?
Woman I said 'darling'!
Man But I don't know you.
Woman At parties, I call everyone 'darling', darling.
Man Oh.
Woman How are you?
Man I'm very depressed.
Woman Never mind. Have a drink.
Man My uncle died last week. I went to his funeral.
Woman I hate funerals. I never look good in black.
Man My wife left me on the day before the funeral.
Woman Really. How interesting. I say! He looks very
smart! Whose husband's that?
Man My wife went off with my best friend.
Woman Do you like the colour of my dress? It's pretty, isn't
it?
Man Yes. On the way back from the funeral, I had a car
accident.
Woman What colour was the car?
Man It was red..
Woman I love the colour red, don't you?
Man I feel so lonely. No one listens to me.
Woman Hi, Miranda. I'm sorry, darling? That was Miranda.
Doesn't Miranda look lovely?
Man I was saying no one listens to me.
Woman I know, darling ... um ... but the weather's good for
this time of year.
Man People don't understand. Life is so sad. We're all
going to die in the end.
Woman Really? Do you like Daphne's new hairstyle?
Man It's all right, I suppose.
Woman I love Michclangelo, don't you?
Man Yes! Have You seen the Pietá at St Peter's in
Rome?
Woman St Peter's? Oh, no, darling, Michelangelo's
hairdressing salon is in St John's Wood, London.
It's not easy to make Daphne look pretty, but
Michelangelo can do it. He's an artist, you know.
Man I like talking to you. You're the first person who's
ever listened to me.
Woman That's because I use the Small Talk Manual.
Man I feel you really understand what I'm saying ... do
you know, many years ago ...
Woman Daphne, darling! You look so pretty - I just love
your hair. Yes. The Small Talk Manual - it really
works. Hello, daaaaarling!
DOCUMENTARY
Gary (VO) This is Fleet Street. For many years the
offices of the most important newspapers
in the United Kingdom were here. But
now most of them have moved to other
parts of London. Fleet Street, however,
remains a symbol for all the British press.
Sara (VO) The British are possibly the biggest
newspaper readers in the world. But
they're also very interested in all kinds of
gossip.
Gary (VO) There are a lot of sensationalist
newspapers in the United Kingdom.
They're called 'tabloids'. They're very
popular and they include information on
scandals about famous people in show
business, in finance and in politics. We
have a spokesman of one of those
newspapers who is here to explain what a
tabloid is. It's Bernard Shrimley, and he
works for the Daily Express. We asked
him for a definition of what a tabloid is.
Bernard Shrimley When we talk about a tabloid, we almost
always mean the shape of the newspaper,
a small sheet. But in Fleet Street we tend
to regard tabloid as a state of mind, or a
method, a technique of presentation. It's
going for the general public, populist.
Sara (VO) Tabloids are very successful in the
United Kingdom. Their circulation is
four times larger than that of serious
newspapers. But why are they so
successful?
That's what Andreas
Wittam-Smith,
editor
of
'The
Independent' is going to explain to us.
Andreas Wittam- First of all, Britain is quite a small
Smith country, so newspapers produced in London can circulate all over the country.
Sara (VO)
Andreas WittamSmith
Sara (VO)
And we are ... we have many people, we
have fifty million people. So newspapers
can achieve very large circulations. And
if they do, they have less need of
advertisers. And in those circumstances,
newspapers can provide a very racy,
popular, daring, intrusive coverage,
which is what happens in this country.
The Royal Family is the main focus of
gossip in the United Kingdom. Any event
in the life of any member of the Royal
Family becomes front-page news in all
the tabloids, especially if they're about
Lady Di or Prince Charles. Of course, it's
logical that everything about the Royal
Family is important news in the United
Kingdom. But, as the editor of the
Independent says, the difference between
the serious press and the tabloids, is in
the way they report the news.
Well, I think newspapers in this country
divide into two, whether you see your job
as being entertainment, or whether you
see your job as being fundamentally
news. And the dividing line is very clear.
And the yellow press, as you call it, sees
the job as being purely entertainment,
and the rest of the market sees it as being
news. If you see it as being entertainment, then you begin to invent
stories, you go into a fantasy land, and
most of all you want to have a soap
opera, if you can find it. And we in Britain have a perfect soap opera, and it's
called the Royal Family.
In the end, the public has the last word.
In the United Kingdom there are over
twenty national newspapers and over one
thousand five hundred regional and local
papers. So it's up to you to choose
between news or gossip.
4
STEREOTYPES
A
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Bernard Valerie! The roof is leaking badly in the small
bedroom.
Valerie I know. I mentioned it last night.
Bernard But my cricket equipment is getting ruined!
Valerie We'd better ask someone to look at it.
Bernard It's so difficult to find a good builder these days.
And it'll probably cost a fortune.
Valerie We might be able to find someone local, who's
not too expensive. Perhaps someone who works
on his own ... Here's one that looks good ...
***
Mr Mott Mr Wilson? Good afternoon, I'm Adrian Mott. I
understand you've got some problems with your
Valerie
Mr Mott
Bernard
Mr Mott
Bernard
Mr Mott
Bernard
Mr Mott
Bernard
Valerie
Mr Mott
Bernard
Valerie
Mr Mott
Valerie
Mr Mott
Valerie
Mr Mott
Valerie
Mr Mott
Valerie
Mr Mott
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Dale
Valerie
Dale
Valerie
Dale
Valerie
roof. . . Good afternoon. You must be Mrs
Wilson. Very pleased to meet you. What a
charming house you have!
Thank you.
So, what seems to be the trouble?
Well, we have a leaking roof. All my cricket
equipment is getting ruined.
Oh, are you interested in cricket, then?
I certainly am. Isn't every Englishman? It's in our
blood.
Absolutely. So have you followed the match
against Sri Lanka?
I certainly have. Well, some of the time.
I think England may win, don't you?
Oh, I'm not sure about that ...
Shall we have a look at the leak now?
By all means. Lead the way. So how do you think
England will do against Australia this winter?
Oh, I think that could be a tough match. The
Australians are very competitive.
So what do you think, Mr Mott?
I agree with Bernard. England will have a difficult
time in Australia. Those Australians are a lot of
cheats.
I mean, about the roof.
Oh, I see. Well, it's difficult to say what's causing
the leak. It could be a number of things.
***
So what do you think, Mr Mott?
It's difficult to say, really. I can't see much from
here.
Well, why don't you use the ladder? ... What's
wrong, Mr Mott? Is there something wrong with
our ladder?
No, no, it's just that I'm not very ... I used to take
my own ladder around with me. I mean. I don't
think I'm insured for this sort of thing. I could get
one of my assistants to have a look later. Actually,
I think I can see from here ... Yes, I think it must
be one of the roof tiles over there.
But the leak is over there.
Yes, well, it quite often happens that way. Look, I
tell you what. I’ll go off now, and send you an
estimate But you know, this isn’t going to be
cheap.
Nice to meet you, Mr Mott ... Nice chap. He's the
sort of man you can trust.
Hmm, I'm not so sure.
He's from an old, established company..
Oh, look. I think that's the other builder.
Good grief!
I'm Dale. Roof problems?
***
Oh. yes. that's right. I'm so glad you could come.
Let’s have a look. It's that first-floor room, isn't it?
It is. How did you know that?
Well, I can see something's wrong from here.
Let's have a closer look ... Thought so. It's your
rainwater pipes. Need a whole new system ... Cost
you about three hundred pounds.
Fine. When can you start?
Dale
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Dale
Bernard
Dale
Bernard
Valerie
week?
Dale
Valerie
Bernard
Dale
Valerie
Bernard
Monday.
Well, I didn't think much of him.
What do you mean?
I’m not quite sure. There was something funny
about him. And he was a bit rude.
Well, he seems to know his job.
But he'll be here next week, when we're at work.
He might steal something.
Oh, Bernard!
Well, he has got an earring and tattoos. You can't
trust people with earrings.
***
There you are, Mrs Wilson. That might fix it.
That's great. So how much do we owe you for that
job?
Oh, nothing, mate. Only took me five minutes.
Most builders would charge a lot for doing that.
Or perhaps you could come over for dinner next
That would be nice.
How about next Wednesday?
Yes. Why don't you bring your partner?
Yeah, sure. We'll look forward to that. See you.
Thanks.
Bye ... Such a nice chap. But he doesn't talk much.
***
Dale Hello, Mr and Mrs Wilson. This is Peter. Peter,
this is Bernard and Valerie.
B
THE SPANISH ARE . . .
Street interviews
Lin A typical British person is reserved, polite
and embarrassed.
Frank British people are meant to be reserved and
quiet, not loud and excitable. I disagree - I
think British people are lively and friendly.
Sara I would describe the typical British person as
rather formal.
Mr Saunders ... very difficult to describe a typical British
person. I think there are all sorts. Some are
shy, some are very outgoing, all sorts.
Keith I think John Major is a typical British male straightforward, but a little bit dull.
Marcella A typical British person is well-mannered,
well-dressed and very patriotic.
Don't make me laugh!
Danny Thank you! Thank you! Thank you very much! I
hope you aren't expecting any jokes about racial
stereotypes? No, I don't tell Jewish jokes. Or Irish
jokes. And I especially don't like Scottish jokes.
You see, I'm Scottish myself. You know, people say
the Scottish are mean - that they don't like spending
money - well, it isn't true. For example, yesterday I
spent fifty pence. Oh, yes I did. I went to the
hairdresser's. I said to the hairdresser, 'How much is
a haircut?' He said, 'It's a pound.' So then I said,
'How much for a shave?' He said, 'A shave is fifty
pence.' So I said, 'OK, here's fifty pence - shave my
head!' 'Here's fifty pence, shave my head!' And
people laugh about my Uncle Rob. He was Scottish
and he died in the second World War. You see, he
had a hand grenade. He pulled the pin out of the
hand grenade, but he didn't want to throw it away!
He didn't want to throw away the hand grenade!
You know, at Christmas we have Christmas trees in
our houses. Do you know how you can tell when it's
summer in Scotland? Well, if you see a Scotsman
throwing away his Christmas tree, it's probably
summer! If you see a Scotsman throwing away his
Christmas tree, it's probably summer! But, you
know. I think it's wrong to judge people before you
know them properly. Don't you agree? You do? Yes.
They might be very nice. No, what I always say is,
'Wait until you know a person properly and then you
can dislike them!' Thank you very much, ladies and
gentlemen. You've been a wonderful audience.
Good night.
The ad spot
John That's two bacon, egg and beans and two mugs of
tea, love. 'Ello! Welcome to John's Cafe! I'm John.
Everyone is welcome here. When you visit London,
make sure you visit my cafe. We have a big menu.
There's bacon and eggs ... bacon, eggs and beans ...
bacon, eggs and chips, and beans ... on toast! Or
beans. We get a lot of foreign tourists here everyone is welcome. The Italians are very
welcome. Last week, we had lots of Italians in here,
and it was chaos. They were arguing and shouting.
They didn't like my coffee. They wanted spaghetti,
but I gave them beans on toast. But I like the
Italians. They have warm hearts. I have a lot of
Germans in here. They are very welcome. They're
always very precise and very neat. There were two
Germans in here this morning. They thought my
cafe was dirty, and I agreed with them. They didn't
like the dirt on the table and the chairs, but they
liked the bacon and the eggs. Oh, yes, I love the
Germans. I've had Russians in here. I love the
Russians. They're so sad. They cry into my eggs and
say life is a tragedy. And Japanese tourists often
come to eat here. Once they asked me for bacon,
egg and noodles. I love the Japanese tourists. They
love to take photographs of my wife and me in my
cafe. Sometimes Scottish tourists come here as well.
They might want porridge, and they may say my
bacon and eggs are too expensive, but as long as
they pay, everyone is welcome at my cafe - John's
Cafe.
Street interviews
Lin ... friendly, outgoing and very talkative.
Frank . . . lively, excitable and friendly.
Melissa Well.... very mad. They wear long dresses, usually
red, they have lots of celebrations, and they eat
very strong, spiced food.
David ... is warm, inventive, friendly, vivacious and good
fun to be with.
Keith ... slightly excitable and eating lots of garlic.
Song time
Nationality
Have you seen the man with the old school tie?
He's got an umbrella, he's reserved and shy,
He doesn't like talking when he's walking so you needn't try.
Who can he be, the man with the old school tie?
He may be from Greece or Germany,
He might be from Belgium - don't you agree?
He could be Danish or Romanian,
Dutch or Panamanian,
No, he's British - can't you see?
British is his nationality.
Have you seen the woman with the long, black hair?
She's proud and she's stubborn and she doesn't care.
She can't stop her laughter after there's no one there.
Who can she be, the woman with the long, black hair?
She may be from Greece or Germany.
She might be from Belgium - don't you agree?
She could be Danish or Romanian,
Dutch or Panamanian.
No, she's Spanish - can't you see?
Spanish is her nation-, Spanish is her nation-,
Spanish is her nationality.
DOCUMENTARY
Sara (VO) What are the British like? What do we know
about them? The ideas the Spanish have about
the British, are they correct?
Gary (VO) We're going to have a look at some of these ideas
and see if they're right or wrong.
Sara (VO) One of them is that British businessmen always
wear bowler hats and carry umbrellas.
Gary (VO) But we've been walking around the City for a
while and we haven't seen any.
Sara (VO) Look! A typical British businessman. Excuse me,
are you a real British businessman?
Actor No. This is a joke. No British businessman
dresses like this any more. The only uniforms
you can see in the city today are business suits.
Gary (VO) So this gentleman doesn't exist any more, except
in films.
British
businesswomen
and
Gary (VO) Nowadays
businessmen dress like those of any other
country.
Gary (VO) It's five o'clock: teatime.
Gary (VO) In Spain, we think that, at five o'clock,
everything stops for a refreshing cup of tea.
Sara (VO) But, is this true nowadays?
Actor No, it isn't. We have tea at any time in the day,
the same as you have coffee. We British have tea
with breakfast, tea at eleven o'clock in the morning, tea after lunch; then we have tea at teatime,
tea after dinner, and tea at eleven o'clock pm. We
never refuse the offer of a cup of tea.
Gary (VO) They say that every Englishman is an island.
Sara (VO) Maybe the British are individualists and love
privacy, because they live on an island. Let's ask
our man in London if this is true.
Actor Yes, I think we British are quite different from
Sara (VO)
Gary (VO)
Sara (VO)
Actor
Sara (VO)
Sara (VO)
Gary (VO)
Sara (VO)
Gary (VO)
Sara (VO)
Gary (VO)
Sara (VO)
Actor
Gary (VO)
you continentals. We don't like our neighbours.
We enjoy our privacy.
Did you hear? He said 'continentals'. In the
United Kingdom there are two groups of
Europeans: the British and continentals, people
from the other European countries.
Due to their love of 'privacy', the British prefer to
live in individual houses with their own gardens.
Talking about gardens. Is it true that the British
are great lovers of gardening?
We love our flowers. Gardening is the perfect
way of relaxing. It is the British way of life. We
all have gardens.
Another sign of their individualism is that they
drive on the left-hand side of the road whereas in
all other European countries people drive on the
right.
From now on, thousands of cars with the steering
wheel on the left will come into Britain through
the Channel Tunnel.
There will be problems, but no one in Britain has
suggested changing to driving on the right.
The British have a reputation for being animal
lovers. But, is it true?
We think it is. About 49 per cent of British adults
have a pet at home.
And 46 per cent agree with the following statement: "The British prefer their pets to their family."
Here's our man in London reading a publication
for animal lovers.
Can you read the advert aloud?
Please, send a donation to help donkey Sara and
her friends have a happy Christmas.
This says it all. In what other part of the world
could you find a similar advert asking for Christmas donations for a home for donkeys?
5
THE BEST OF FRIENDS
A
WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR YEARS
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Gran
Valerie
Bernard
What are you doing this evening?
I'm going out with Anita. Don't you remember?
No one tells me anything.
I told you last week. We're just going out for a
drink and a chat. You can come along with us, if
you want.
No, I'll be fine. I'll stay in. Someone has to keep
Gran company. She wouldn't like to be left here
on her own. She needs company. It's a terrible
thing, being lonely.
Oh, hello, Gran. How are you feeling?
Are you OK?
Yes, I'm fine.
I'm late. I must go. You needn't wait up for me.
Bye, darling. Bye, Gran. Have a nice evening,
both of you.
Well, Gran, what shall we do this evening? We
Gran
Bernard
Gran
Bernard
Gran
Bernard
Gran
Bernard
Gran
Bernard
Gran
Bernard
Gran
Bernard
Gran
Bernard
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Gran
Valerie
Frank
Bernard
Frank
Frank
Valerie
Bernard
Gran
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Gran
Bernard
Valerie
Gran
can have a chat about old times. Or we can have a
game of cards or ...
That's very thoughtful of you, Bernard. But I'm
afraid I won't be at home this evening. I've got to
get ready.
Ready? For what?
I'm going out with a friend. Goodness me, is that
the time?
***
Is it ... a woman friend?
No
It's a man, then.
Yes, Bernard. It's a man.
What I meant was, it's a man friend . . . rather than
a woman friend ... if you see what I mean.
Yes.
Is it anyone that I know?
No, you haven't met him yet.
How long have you been seeing him?
Oh, for about a week. Since last Sunday, actually.
I see. And how old is this friend of yours. I mean,
is he ... around your age?
He's younger than me. His name is Frank, and I
don't want to be late for him.
No, of course not. Have a lovely evening, Gran.
***
We don't know anything about Frank..
Oh, Bernard. I'm sure Gran can look after herself.
She's very grown-up.
I know she's grown-up. That's what I'm worried
about. I mean, where are they going to tonight?
What will they do? When will she come back?
I'm sure Gran will be very sensible. She's a very
sensible person.
***
This is Frank. Valerie and Bernard, Frank.
Very pleased to meet you, Frank.
It's my pleasure.
Good evening.
Very good to meet you at last, Bernard. I've heard
such a lot about you both.
***
Well, it's been very nice meeting you. Goodbye.
Goodbye, Valerie. Goodbye, Bernard. Goodbye!
Well, Gran, Frank seems very nice.
Yes. Very nice. I was very impressed.
Yes.
Bernard's been quite worried about you, Gran.
Haven't you, Bernard?
Oh, no, not really.
Bernard thought Frank was going to be a young
man, who was after your money. But he looked
older than you.
He just seems older. He's actually a year younger
than I am. And he can't be after my money. He's
actually quite rich.
Really!
Well, that's nice. And is there a future in your
relationship?
Well, he has just asked me to marry him if that's
what you mean.
Valerie
Gran
Bernard
Gran
Bernard
Gran
Bernard
Gran
B
Has he really?
Yes.
How exciting. How romantic.
Yes. But I don't think I will. In fact, I'm not sure if
I'm going to see Frank any more. He's rather nosy
always wanting to know what I'm doing. And he
never stops talking about DIY. I wouldn't get
much peace!
Oh, good! I mean ... Well, of course, you must
make the decision yourself, Gran.
Yes, I must. Well, I'm going to think about it,
Bcrnard. And Bernard ...
Yes, Gran?
Please don't call me Gran!
GETTING TOGETHER
Street interviews
Mr Addison We've known each other for fifty-three years,
and we've been married for fifty-two years.
Frank I've known my girlfriend for a year and a half.
Sara I've known my partner now for about eight
years. In fact, we were going to get married
seven years ago, but then I had a baby, so we
didn't get married.
David We were married fifteen years ago, so I've
known my wife for fifteen years now.
Keith I have known my wife for twenty-seven years,
and we've been married for twenty-five years.
In fact, we celebrated our silver wedding
anniversary in June this year.
Don't make me laugh!
Danny Thank you! Thank you! Thank you very much! You
know, friends are important, aren't they? Everyone
should have friends. I love my friends, but I have a
very special friend, called Fido. Fido has been living
with me ever since he was a little, baby
doggy-woggy - haven't you, Fidy-Widy-Bidy? Yes,
everybody needs a best friend, and a dog is a man's
best friend. He doesn't give you advice, he never
tries to borrow money, and you don't have to buy
him a coat - he's already got one! He's had one since
he was born! You know, a dog's hair? His coat? You
don't have to buy him a coat - he's already got one!
He's had one since he was born! I love Fido. I don't
care what anyone says - he's a fine guard dog. You
know, if I hear any noises in the night, I wake him,
and then he starts to bark. Don't you think that it's
interesting that man's best friend can't talk? I once
heard of a dog that could talk. But it's not possible.
If a dog ever tells you he can talk, he's lying. If a
dog ever tells you he can talk he's lying. Oh, he's a
lovely dog. And he's good company. You know, I've
been playing chess with him since he was little. You
probably think that he's a very clever dog because
he can play chess, but he's not really clever, because
when Fido and I play chess, I usually win! Usually!
And, now, ladies and gentlemen, shall I sing you a
song? Yes! Thank you. I'd like to sing a little song I
wrote myself, all about Fido. It's called, 'Everyone
needs someone to love, someone to share everything
with, every day. If everybody had somebody,
someone like Fido, then everything would be fine'.
Music, maestro, please.
The ad spot
Voiceover 'I have gone forever. Goodbye. Love, Jeremy.'
Do you want someone that you can depend on someone that won't let you down?
Woman Yes, my boyfriend has left me again!
Voiceover Are relationships difficult for you?
Woman I don't trust anyone. Everyone lets me down.
Voiceover Don't you wish you had someone to share your
life with? Do you want someone that you can
depend on?
Woman Yes, but I don't want someone who looks at
other women. I'm a very jealous person.
Voiceover Yes, I understand. Then why not go and see
Roy? If you talk to Roy and tell him what you
want, he will help you. Roy will introduce you to
someone that you can depend on.
Roy I certainly will. At Roy's Pet Shop we will find
the right pet for you. So if you're looking for
someone that you can depend on - why not come
and meet Rover? You can trust Rover. He'll
always be there when you get home. He'll never
let you down. Rover won't go for walks with
other women, will you, Rover? No! He won't
take your best friend out to dinner while you are
visiting your mother. Oh, no! Rover will never
let you down. So why not come to Roy's Pet
Shop and meet the friend of your dreams?
Street interviews
Frank I usually meet my friends in the pub, or we
go to the cinema or the theatre or the football
match.
Melissa I get together with my friends at a local
disco.
Marcella I get together with my friends at local pubs
or nightclubs.
***
Mr Saunders I have a lot of friends who are women, but I
only have one wife.
David I think men and women can be friends, but I
don't think it's the same sort of friendship as
between men and men, and women and
women.
Marcella I've got a load of friends, girls and boys, but
the boys aren't boyfriends.
Song time
Have a little drink
For an hour or so I've been watching you,
You've been sitting alone at a table for two,
No one has come, you've got nothing to do,
Well me. I'm waiting, I'm waiting for someone, too.
Won't you have a little drink with me?
I could keep you company,
I could make you feel better,
If you need to cry,
I want to hear your life history.
Won't you have a little drink, say 'cheers'?
Just until your friend appears,
We could tell a few jokes as the time goes by,
Yes, we could laugh away every tear,
Yes, we could laugh away every tear.
DOCUMENTARY
Sara (VO) We are in Dublin, the capital of the Irish
Republic. Anyone who's visited this
country knows that the Irish are friendly,
kind and warm with foreigners. But what
are they like to each other?
Gary (VO) To find out, we're going to speak with a
group of four Irish youngsters, Eve,
Cahal, Siobhan and Vincent. They've
been friends for four years. They met at
school, and although now they go to
different colleges, they still meet to talk
and have some fun together. Eve was the
first to answer our questions.
Interviewer (VO) Is it easy to make friends in Ireland?
Eve Ah, yes, it's very easy to make friends in
Ireland. The Irish people are very friendly
and outgoing and when you make a friend
in Ireland, you make a friend for life.
Very easy.
Interviewer (VO) Where do you make friends?
Eve You can make friends in the clubs and
societies in the university, like the football
club or the Martin Society, for example.
Interviewer (VO) What would you like to find in a friend?
Eve I'd like to find many things in a friend,
like a sense of humour, loyalty, honesty,
something like that.
Sara (VO) Eve is a great sports-lover. Her favourite
pastimes are gymnastics and jogging in
the park. Eve studies History and lives at
home
with
her
parents.
Vincent doesn't live with his parents any
more. One big difference between Ireland
and Spain is that Irish youngsters start
living on their own very early. That's why
we asked Vincent at what age they
become independent.
Interviewer (VO) At what age do young people start living
on their own?
Vincent Well, students leave home around the age
of 17, whereas people who don't go to
university like to leave home at the age of
around twenty-two or twenty-three.
Interviewer (VO) Do you still live with your parents?
Vincent No, I moved into a flat with a group of
friends as my house was too far away
from the university.
Interviewer (VO) Is it usual for young people to share a flat
or a house with friends?
Vincent Yes, it's very frequent as it's cheaper for
young people to move in together and
they have a lot more freedom also.
Interviewer (VO) How do you like living on your own?
Vincent I love to live on my own as I can come in
at whatever time I please and eat whatever I like.
Gary (VO) Siobhan is the youngest in the group.
She's eighteen. Siobhan is Cahal's
girlfriend. They've been going out for a
year, since she was seventeen. Is this a
common age for girls to go out with boys?
We asked Siobhan.
Interviewer (VO) At what age does a girl usually start going
out with a boy?
Siobhan Usually when they're thirteen or fourteen,
but maybe younger. It depends on the girl.
Interviewer (VO) Is it usual for young people to go out
together in groups?
Siobhan Oh, yes. Boys and girls usually go out
together in groups because it's a lot more
fun and it's also safer, like when you are
going home.
Interviewer (VO) What's a common topic of conversation
for friends, especially for girls?
Siobhan For girls, they usually talk about boys or
clothes, usually.
Interviewer (VO) What time are boys and girls supposed to
get home at night when they live with
their parents?
Siobhan It depends if they go to the pub and ... that
closes at about half eleven, so they're
expected home at twelve o'clock. But if
they go to a disco, they're expected home
at about half two.
Sara (VO) Cahal is still living with his parents in the
outskirts of Dublin. He loves Dublin.
That's why he recommends Spanish students to go to Dublin to learn English.
Interviewer (VO) Would you recommend Spanish students
to come to Ireland?
Cahal Yes, I would, because it's a very friendly
country and when the Spanish students
come over in the summer they usually get
on very well with the locals.
Interviewer (VO) What would you recommend Spanish
students to do if they came to Ireland?
Cahal If a Spanish student comes to Ireland, the
best thing they can probably do would be
to move in with a family, as that way they
learn good English, they'll also learn the
culture of their country and how a family
works in Ireland.
Gary (VO) So you've heard Cahal’s recommendation.
If you decide to go abroad to learn English, you can go to the Irish Republic: a
great place to make good friends.
6
TRADITIONS
A
WE HAVE A LOT TO BE PROUD OF!
Valerie I got a phone call from Jessica today.
Bernard Jessica?
Valerie Your second cousin, the one who lives in
America.
Bernard Oh, Jessica. Yes, I've heard of her. I've never met
her, though. What's she doing?
Valerie She's a student and she's coming over to England
next month. She wants to stay with us for a few
days.
Bernard Great.
Valerie She says she's very interested in history and
tradition. She wants to have a look at some
English traditions.
Bernard Well, I'm not surprised. They haven't got many
traditions in America. They have fireworks on the
4th of July and that's it.
Valerie That's not quite true, Bernard.
Bernard Well, we've got a lot to be proud of in this
country. We have a great history and some fine
traditions most people take for granted. It's so
important to understand your heritage. Why don't
we take a few days off work when Jessica is here.
We could take her to some of the typically
English places.
Valerie Yes, she might like that.
Bernard We could work out an itinerary. We can go to the
Tower of London, where you can show her the
Beefeaters and the Crown Jewels.
Valerie Do you know, I've never been to the Tower of
London.
Bernard I don't think many English people have. We can
go to Cambridge. We could see the King's College
Chapel. We could go on the river in a boat and
have a traditional English tea at Grantchestcr. You
know, we’ve got a lot to be proud of in this
country. I've got a brilliant idea! We could take
her to the Henley Regatta and we could take a
hamper and some strawberries. Jessica will love
that.
***
Jessica I'm so excited. I've always dreamed of seeing
England.
Bernard You probably thought we lived in a little cottage
which had a thatched roof and roses growing all
over it.
Jessica No.
Bernard Or did you think we lived in a manor house or a
castle with a moat and a drawbridge?
Jessica No. I didn't expect to see knights at the airport
either.
Bernard We've worked out a wonderful itinerary for you.
The first place we're going to visit is Cambridge,
and then we're going to the Henley Regatta. We're
visiting Harrods and the Tower of London. And
on your final day, we're going to go to a medieval
banquet.
Jessica That sounds really interesting. But is it for
American tourists?
Bernard
Jessica
Bernard
Jessica
Bernard
Jessica
Bernard
Jessica
Jessica
Bernard
Jessica
Bernard
Valerie
Jessica
Bernard
Jessica
Bernard
Jessica
Bernard
Jessica
Bernard
Jessica
Bernard
Jessica
Bernard
Jessica
Bernard
B
There are some Americans.
I don't want to meet American tourists.
There are Japanese and German tourists as well.
Do you know where Sheffield is?
It's up in the north of England somewhere. I don't
think you'll find anything interesting up there.
There's an industrial museum I've heard about. I'd
love to see it.
An industrial museum!
I'm interested in how real people lived. I mean
ordinary people.
***
I've traced the family back eight generations.
Have you really? Well done!
I think our family has a strong culture and
tradition that goes way back into history.
Oh, good.
Well, tell us.
Well, first, this side of the family were from
Grimsby.
From where?
From Grimsby. In the north-east of England.
Grimsby!
For over two hundred years they were fishermen.
How interesting.
On this side of the family,
Great-great-great-greatgreat-great-grcat-Uncle
John worked in the textile industry in Manchester.
It was right at the start of the industrial revolution.
And you know what? He became a Shaker and
emigrated to America.
He became a what?
A Shaker. That was his religion.
How very odd.
It's so interesting, don't you think?
What is?
Well, on the one hand, there's religion, and on the
other hand, there's fish! Don't you want to come
with me to Grimsby and discover your family
heritage?
Well, frankly, Jessica . . . I don't think I do.
CHRISTMAS AND CASTLES
Street interviews
Sara Because I don't cook, I celebrate Christmas by
inviting all the neighbours into our house for
champagne cocktails in the morning, and then
we go to a hotel for lunch. Much easier - no
washing up.
Melissa I celebrate Christmas around the Christmas
tree
Chloe ... lots of presents.
David I spend Christmas with my family. We have
two children. We wrap up their presents on
Christmas Eve. We open the presents in the
morning. Then we have a wonderful, long
meal late in the afternoon, and I'm afraid
sometimes I drink a bit too much. But we all
enjoy it very much, especially me.
***
Peter We all sing Auld Lang Syne at midnight, have
a toast together and celebrate the New Year
coming in.
Chloe When it's 12 o'clock on New Year's Eve, we
go round and kiss everybody.
Mr Addison In the north of England, where I come from,
New Year is celebrated by a ceremony, that
we call 'first footing', that is to say, a
dark-haired man will be the first to put his foot
inside your door as the New Year enters, and
he will bring with him three gifts. He will
bring a little bread, so that you'll never be
hungry, a little coal for wealth and a little salt
for good health.
Don't make me laugh!
Danny I love the British traditions, don't you? Yes, I've just
come back from a traditional British holiday. Yes, it
was very traditional - we went to Spain. We had a
traditional British holiday - in Spain! Thank you,
madam. Yes, traditions ... My family, who are very
traditional, always do the same thing every
Christmas. First, we always go to church on
Christmas morning. Second, we always have a big
dinner - roast turkey with cranberry sauce. Third, we
always watch the Queen's speech, which is on
television in the afternoon. Fourth, we always play
silly games in the evening. I really like Christmas,
but there's one Christmas tradition which I don't like
- I always spend too much money on presents! My
wife and I had a wedding that was very
old-fashioned. Very traditional. She looked
beautiful, dressed all in white. I said to her
afterwards, 'Well, did you enjoy the wedding, dear?'
And she said, 'Well, yes, on the one hand, I did
enjoy it, but on the other hand, I think I'll do it
differently next time!' She said, 'I think I'll do it
differently next time!' Well, thank you! Thank you,
ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. And now for a
song!
The ad spot
Mr Teacher Life in the old days. What was it like? What
did we use to do before we had television?
Mrs Teacher How did people live without cookers or
central heating?
Mr Teacher Last weekend, we took the family to Oldfield
Castle to find out.
Mrs Teacher Oldfield Castle is educational and fun.
Mr Teacher We learnt about the people who lived in the
castle many years ago. We spent the whole
day there.
Mrs Teacher Jane and John, who are our children, really
enjoyed it, didn't they, darling?
Mr Teacher Oh, yes. There was a big festival at the castle.
There were actors who were dressed up as
medieval knights.
Mrs Teacher It was so educational! And our children learnt
a lot about British traditions, didn't they,
darling?
Mr Teacher We saw a kitchen which was four hundred
years old.
Mrs Teacher Yes, Jane was interested in the demonstration
of medieval cooking.
Mr Teacher John was more interested in the swords. They
used to fight with swords in the old days.
Mrs Teacher But Jane didn't like John hitting her with a
sword.
Mr Teacher No, Jane was very interested in the clothes
that the women used to wear.
Mrs Teacher She wanted to know why they didn't wear
jeans.
Mr Teacher And they said that there's a ghost at the castle.
Mrs Teacher At night, a woman who has her head under
her arm walks around the castle.
Mr Teacher Yes, and then John tried to cut off Jane's head
with a sword.
Mrs Teacher But luckily. Daddy was able to stop him.
Mr Teacher We saw the dungeons which they used in the
old days.
Mrs Teacher And Jane locked John in the dungeon.
Mr Teacher The security guard who worked there was
very angry.
Mrs Teacher But it was educational.
Mr Teacher And Oldfield Castle has a shop.
Mrs Teacher We had to buy the children lots of things in
the shop.
Mr Teacher Postcards and flags, books, pencils, rubbers
and notepads.
Mrs Teacher It was educational but rather expensive.
Mr Teacher And on the way home we stopped for a traditional English cream tea, which was
delightful.
Mrs Teacher Until Jane was sick in the car.
Mr Teacher Oldfield Castle is fun for the whole family.
Mrs Teacher No. Not the whole family. We're going to
Oldfield Castle again some time, but we'll
leave Jane and John at home.
Song time
Tradition
He lives in a country house or two or three,
He has breakfast and lunch and afternoon tea,
He's part of our nation's history,
Rather him than me!
He's got lots of money. It costs a lot,
To live in a castle and to keep it hot,
To pay all the people who look after what he's got,
I would rather not.
Yes, they're the upper classes, the aristocracy,
Not middle class or working class like you or me,
We go round their stately homes to see our history,
They're the British upper classes,
The aristocracy,
They're the British upper classes,
The aristocracy.
Street interviews
Frank Yes, I think Britain should have a Royal Family.
It's good for the tradition of the country. It attracts
tourism, which brings money into the country and
jobs for the people.
Sara I think we should have a Royal Family. I think it's
part of our tradition, our heritage, and l don't think
we should lose them.
Melissa I think Britain shouldn't have a Royal Family
because they take up too much money.
David I don't really think Britain should have a Royal
Family any more. I think it's a bit old-fashioned
now.
Marcella I do think Britain should have a Royal Family,
because we've got a lot of history, and the Royal
Family is part of that history.
DOCUMENTARY
(VO) Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from
the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on
which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A
yellow dressing-gown, ungirdled, was
sustained gently behind him by the mild
morning air. He held the bowl aloft and
intoned:
Introibo ad altare Dei.
Sara (VO) With these words, at the Martello Tower,
James Joyce's Ulysses begins. Ulysses
and James Joyce are possibly the book
and writer with the biggest influence on
twentieth-century literature.
Gary (VO) And as a homage to Joyce, people
celebrate 'Bloomsday', a one-day
celebration named after Leopold Bloom,
the modern protagonist of Ulysses.
Gary (VO) As in the book, the celebration starts at 8
o'clock at the Martello Tower.
Sara (VO) Actors, actresses and Joyce admirers,
dressed in period costumes, meet to recite,
read or comment on passages from
Ulysses.
Actor ...
Gary (VO) This unusual homage to Joyce attracts
people from all over the world. Let's ask
one of the participants why he's here.
Interviewer (VO) Excuse me. May I ask you some
questions?
Fernando Yes, of course.
Interviewer (VO) Why are you celebrating 'Bloomsday'?
Fernando Well, I'm very fond of James Joyce. I like
his literature very much and I think it's a
good occasion to be here and have a good
time.
Interviewer (VO) What's your favourite character from
Ulysses?
Fernando Perhaps Molly Bloom, because this character is very honest, sensitive, sensual
and attractive.
Interviewer (VO) By the way, where do you come from?
Fernando I come from Spain.
Interviewer (VO) What are you doing here?
Fernando I'm working.
Interviewer (VO) Working? What do you mean?
Fernando Well, I'm the director of 'That's English'.
Sara (VO)
Gary (VO)
Sara (VO)
Gary (VO)
Sara (VO)
Sara (VO)
Participant
Gary (VO)
7
A
And remember: reading Ulysses is very
practical and unusual. Don't give up. Go
for it.
To take part in the celebration our television crew wore period costumes. This
interview with our director was a joke.
But he's a sincere admirer of Joyce.
Many of the streets, public buildings and
pubs mentioned in Joyce's Ulysses still
exist today.
And Joyce's followers reproduce the 24hour journey of Leopold Bloom around
Dublin City on June the sixteenth
nineteen hundred and four.
A traditional lunchtime stop is at Davy
Byrne's pub.
Here, Joyce's admirers have a lunch of
Gorgonzola cheese sandwiches and Burgundy, as mentioned in Ulysses.
The celebration goes on for a whole day
in different parts of Dublin.
We are celebrating 'Bloomsday' because
June 16th nineteen hundred and four was
the day on which Ulysses was written by
James Joyce, and it concentrates the
whole novel on one day in the life of
Dublin.
And the town authorities offer a dinner,
with another menu taken from the book.
SUPERSTITION
TOUCH WOOD!
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
George
Bernard
George
Bernard
How did the interview go?
They've offered me some freelance work.
Great!
I'm worried. I don't think I want to go freelance.
I don't want to give up the security of my
present job.
You said you're bored with your job.
I'm bored, but at least it's secure. If you're
freelance, you never know what the future will
hold.
Sometimes you have to take risks.
Valerie, you might have noticed that I am not
one of life's great risk-takers.
Then why are you smoking?
I don't know if I should take the job or not.
Write down all the good things about going
freelance, and write all the positive things about
staying in the job.
That's a good idea.
***
What's wrong with you?
I'm confused. What should I do? I've tried the I
Ching. That was no good.
What did it say?
It said, if you want something, you must be
patient. But then I don't know if I want to
Astrologer
Bernard
George
Bernard
George
Bernard
George
Bernard
George
Bernard
George
Bernard
George
Bernard
George
Bernard
George
Bernard
George
Bernard
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
change my job. I went to see Rosie's friend
who's an astrologer.
***
Well, Bernard ... It's hard to say ... you could be
happy in your new job. On the other hand, you
could be unhappy ... as well as happy..
***
It might rain. There might be some sunny
intervals. Or it might be thunder and lightning.
That's English weather!
I tried the tarot cards.
What did the cards tell you?
That the only certain thing was death, but I
knew that already.
You know, Bernard, you worry too much.
If only I could see into the future, then I
wouldn't worry.
Someone once said, life is like a very high
bridge, and the secret of life is to walk across
the bridge without fear.
Yes, well, I prefer to go the long way round. I
think walking across a high bridge without fear
is pretty stupid. I need a sign.
A sign?
A black cat, a dream, a broken mirror. I'm
superstitious.
Why not toss a coin?
Do you think that's the answer?
Why not? Life is full of chance.
Yes. Of course. That's a brilliant idea. Shall I
toss the coin? No, you toss the coin ... no, I’ll ...
I'll toss the coin. Heads or tails?
Shall I have heads or tails? I'll have heads ... If
it's heads, I'll change my job. No, wait a minute,
I'll have tails.
It doesn't matter if you choose heads or tails.
Of course it matters!
***
Darling, I've got wonderful news! I got sacked
today.
What?
I've lost my job.
What's happened?
The principal called me into his office. He said
that there were some complaints about my
work. My lectures were depressing the students.
The principal asked me to leave.
Oh, no!
Oh, yes! I've got no choice. I have to take the
freelance job. I'm so happy.
Oh, Bernard.
I know - I've been hell to live with.
What's this?
It's a Munch print. This is the picture of a man
who is afraid to walk across the bridge of life. It
will remind me not to be afraid to walk the
bridge. It will look good in the living room,
won't it?
Why don't we put it in the hallway?
OK. If I move this mirror, the picture could ...
Oh, no! This is terrible!
Don't worry. I never liked that mirror much.
I've broken the mirror!
It was a cheap mirror.
When you break a mirror, it's seven years' bad
luck!
Valerie That's just superstition.
Bernard There must be a reason for the superstition.
Valerie No, Bernard. There are no reasons for
superstitions. They're just irrational fears.
Valerie
Bernard
Valerie
Bernard
B
HOROSCOPES ARE RUBBISH!
Street interviews
Mrs Addison We don't read horoscopes because we think
they're a load of rubbish.
Lin I do read my horoscope because I hope to
read good news about my day. However, if
it's bad news, then I don't believe it.
Sara No, I don't read my horoscope, because loads
of other people read the same horoscopes, so
how can it be the same for everyone?
Melissa I read my horoscope only at the end of the
week to see if it's right or not.
Marcella I do read my horoscope, but I'll only believe
it if it's good.
The ad spot
Woman Hello. That's a lot of money you have in your wallet.
Man Yes, I'm taking my family on holiday today.
Woman On holiday! But today is the day of the big horse
race.
Man The big horse race?
Woman Yes, the Grand National.
Man I'm not interested in horse racing. I'm going on
holiday with my wife and children.
Woman Yes, but when you go to the races, you can win a
lot of money.
Man I don't like betting on horses.
Woman You don't like betting on horses? Why not?
Man I always lose.
Woman Ah, if you buy the Romany Lucky Charm, you're
sure to win.
Man I don't believe in lucky charms, thank you very
much.
Woman You should believe in lucky charms, sir. If you
don't buy the Romany Lucky Charm, there will be
a curse on your family for ever! It's only five
pounds, sir. It will look good on your suit.
Man A family curse! Oh, dear! Well, I'd better buy a
Romany Lucky Charm.
Woman Good. Here are the runners and riders for the
Grand National ...
***
Woman You see, the Romany Lucky Charm really does
work. What about you, sir. Would you like the
Romany Lucky Charm?
Don't make me laugh!
Danny Thank you. Thank you. Are you superstitious? No? I
wasn't either. Not until last Sunday. I walked under
a ladder, and I've had bad luck ever since then - ever
since I walked under that ladder. On Monday, I took
the boat over to France. It was a disaster. It was
terrible! As soon as we left the harbour, the boat
started sinking. And do you know what? The radio
operator didn't know how to spell SOS. No, he
didn't know how to spell SOS. And then on
Tuesday, I had more bad luck. I had a road accident.
I had the right of way, but the other driver had a
lorry. It was a very bad accident. Bang! Crash! So I
went to hospital in an ambulance. But the doctor in
the hospital didn't know anything about medicine.
No, he told me that he became a doctor because he
had bad handwriting. He became a doctor because
he had bad handwriting! Then, on Wednesday, the
surgeon operated on me. I knew I was in trouble as
soon as I saw the surgeon. You see, he was wearing
a mask. He was wearing a mask so that when things
went wrong, no one would know who he was. No
one would know who he was if things went wrong.
And things did go wrong. I was in terrible pain after
the operation. It was terrible pain. I couldn't sleep
for days. Then I finally got to sleep ... and the nurse
woke me up. She woke me up to give me some
sleeping pills. She woke me up to give me some
sleeping pills! Thank you very much, ladies and
gentlemen! And now, some juggling!
Song time
Bad, bad, bad, bad luck
Bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
It's bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
If you go to a party, where old friends meet,
And there are thirteen at the table sitting down to eat,
Be quick, little baby, and leave your seat,
Or bad things will happen before dinner's complete,
'Cos it's bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
It's bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
If you're walking in the town past a long, high wall,
And you see a ladder leaning against that wall,
Be quick, little baby, listen to me call,
You'd better walk around it or that wall is gonna fall,
'Cos it's bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
It's bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
Bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
It's bad, bad, bad, bad luck.
Superstition.
Street interviews
Marcella I am superstitious, but not very much. I believe
that you shouldn't walk under ladders.
Lin I'm not superstitious about anything.
Frank Yes, I am superstitious. When I play sport, I
always wear this.
Melissa I'm into superstitions, and whenever I see a
magpie, I have to ask my friend to slap my hand
to take away the bad luck.
Sara No, I'm not at all superstitious.
David Well, if a black cat crosses your path, that can be
very unlucky. If you find a horseshoe, that can be
very lucky.
DOCUMENTARY
Witch (VO) The old and romantic city of Edinburgh is
probably the most mysterious city in the United
Kingdom. A magic atmosphere fills the streets
of this city, full of legends and tales of ghosts,
witches and haunted houses. Here, in St
Cuthbert's, are the bodies of many people.
Some legends say that the spirits of some of
them still wander the streets and the houses of
this city. I am the Green Lady. I have always
lived in Edinburgh. That is why I know many
of the extraordinary stories told in Edinburgh.
Follow me. It will be a pleasure to guide you on
a walk along mysterious Edinburgh. Don't be
afraid. You don't believe in ghosts, do you?
Witch (VO) We start at Edinburgh Castle. You can't
understand Edinburgh without its castle. Here,
at the Esplanade, a metal wellhead marks the
place where witches were burnt in the Middle
Ages. Many innocent women died here. Many
ghost tales took place at the castle. There are
also tales about the Palace of Holyroodhouse.
One of them is the story of the murder of Queen
Mary's secretary. The Queen's husband, Lord
Darnley, was jealous because the Queen and
her secretary were friends. Lord Darnley killed
him.
Witch (VO) In Edinburgh, every close, every street, has a
ghost tale for the visitor. For example, Charlotte
Square. Many people say they have seen a
woman dressed in nineteenth century clothes.
Or a house in the Canongate, where they say, in
a fire, the ghost of a woman with a baby in her
arms appeared. This restaurant was a children's
home. Some people hear the voices of the children who lived here many years ago. This is the
Grassmarket, a street full of mystery. Here was
the public market and criminals were executed
here. These are some of the stories told in Edinburgh. You shouldn't believe everything. It may
not be true. It may be the imagination and
superstition of the people of Edinburgh... Who
knows? But you don't believe in ghosts, do
you?