THE ADMISSIONS
ESSAY
AND/OR
PERSONAL
STATEMENT
Just how important is the essay? How
is the essay used by the college in
making admission decisions. Like
most other admission criteria, the
weight given to the essay will vary
from institution to institution.
However, if the college requires an
essay, you must treat it with
importance and use it as an
opportunity to strengthen your
application for admission.
A great deal of the college application
process is controlled by the questions
asked by the college in its application
and your ability to answer those
questions in a manner that suggests
that you're the kind of student they are
seeking to admit. They ask. You
answer.
educators and officials who have a
voice in your admission.
l n preparing the essay that
accompanies your college application,
consider thefollowing:
1. Set aside some "special time" to
organize your thoughts and do the
actual writing and editing of the essay.
Avoid times when school and social
activities are extremely demanding.
The summer between your junior and
senior years or the early part of the
senior year are the best times to tackle
this project.
d. Review and edit the draft for
grammar, spelling, punctuation and
word usage.
e. Evaluate your writing style and
treatment of the topic.
f. Rewrite and edit as necessary.
g. Type, proofread and prepare for
submission.
5. Critique your final draft. Did you
address the topic? Were you thorough?
Did you provide the proper details?
Does it flow well? Is it interesting and
focused? Does it hold the reader's
attention throughout? Have you
conveyed your personal position or
feelings about the ropic?
Your opportunities to be creative in
your response to the college
application process are somewhat
limited. If the college requires or
recommends an interview, you will be
able to put a face and a personality
with the application, academic
transcript and test scores. But, while a
limited number of colleges require
interviews, more and more are asking
students to write essays.
2. Make certain that you understand
the essay assignment, directions (e.g. ,
length) and respond appropriately.
Some topics are open-ended and allow
you reasonable freedom in shaping
your response. Others are more
structured and ask you to address a
specific issue or topic. Write the essay
the college is requesting.
6. Seek the impressions of others to
your draft essay, but do not ask them
to write or rewrite your essay. The
essay is to be an example of your
creativity and ingenuity and the work
needs to come from you. Factor these
impressions into your final essay.
If the essay is autobiographical, begin
by developing an audit of your
relevant personal traits and
experiences. Be reflective without
being boastful.
7. Essays are read by human beings.
people who read hundreds (or
thousands) of essays. Be sure that
yours is "reader friendly." Further, it
would be a mistake to write what you
think the reader wants ro read. Be
yourself!
While the essay is first a measure of
your writing abilities, it also provides
insight into your intelligence,
expressiveness and thinking skills.
Like the interview, the essay provides
you with an opportunity to answer
unasked questions and to
communicate directly with the
4. Follow the practices that have
worked for you in writing essays,
compositions and research papers in
high school.
a. Develop an outline.
b. Determine the best format to
present your message.
c. Prepare a draft .
College essay readers are looking for
thoughtful and sincere content,
creative expression and good writing
technique. When you've reach that
point, put down your pen or back
away from the keyboard. You have a
quality essay!
COLLEGE RESOURCE GUIDE NUMBER 18 • © 1995- EDUCATI01\ 1\0W, P.O. BOX 2832, SPRi:'\GffiLD, VA 22152-2832.
REPRODUCED t iN DER SPECIAL RIGHTS GRANTED TO INSTITUTION OR AGENCY BY THE PUBLISHER
40
HELP FOR THE COLLEGE APPLICATION ESSAY
The most common complaint/difficulty that students face on their college
application is the essay. The College Board website,
www.collegeboard.com/student/apply/essay-skills
contains numerous articles that will provide helpful information and tips
for writing your best application essay.
The Articles Include:
•
Sample College Essay Questions
What Do Colleges Want to Know?
•
Choosing a College Essay Topic
What You Write About Says Something About You.
•
Recipe for A Draft
How to Kick-Start Your College Essay
•
Three Steps to A Great College Essay
You, in 500 Words or Less
•
College Essay Writing Tips
Write an Effective Application Essay
Be sure to look at the full articles on
www. Collegeboard. com
ALSO:
You may look at the following books in the Counseling Center:
Writing a Winning College Application Essay
~I
College Admission Essays for Dummies
41
HOW TO WRITE A GOOD ESSAY
If you're applying to a private college or a selective public university,
chances are good you will be asked to include an essay with your
application. Writing a strong essay is important because it's your best
chance to personalize your application and to influence your chances of
getting in. An outstanding essay can be particularly important if your
grades aren't as competitive as other strong candidates.
Here 's a checklist for creating an essay that will "wow" the admission
committee.
* CHOOSE A SPECIFIC TOPIC
Many colleges will ask you to describe a special interest, an experience
that has changed your life or a person who has influenced your decisions.
Jot down a list of several possibilities and give some thought to the key
points you would bring up under each one. Then decide which one has the
most potential--it should be one about which you have strong feelings, so
you can easily make it come alive.
*OUTLINE WHAT YOU HAVE TO COVER
Make a list of ideas you want to include; don 't rule out any possibility at
this point. Then go back over it and put a check mark next to the major
points and group the remaining ideas under the appropriate main ideas to
create an outline.
* WORK ON YOUR OPENING PARAGRAPH
Try to come up with at least three, if not five, ways to start off. Don 't
spend hours in front of your computer or a blank screen, jot down any
approach that comes to mind and force yourself to write three sentences
from it. One approach would be a .. you are there 11 scenario, in which you 'd
describe the setting for an important incident or revelation. Another
might be to start with a definition or quote. A third would be to pose an
unlikely rhetorical question--one that fits your situation. The best
opening paragraphs are ones that draw the reader in because they ' re
unusual, entertaining, or thoughtful.
* COMPOSE A ROUGH DRAFT
It's best to work from your outline and address each major point as if you
were having a one-on-one conversation with someone. Try to be personal
and, if it comes naturally, humorous. Use as much descriptive language as
you can. But don't sweat over words or sentences at this point, just get
what's in your head down on paper. Give yourself a time limit--an hour or
an hour-:and-a-half at most--to get this draft done, then set it aside for a
few days.
42
*REVIEW WHAT YOU'VE WRITTEN
As you critique your essay, ask yourself whether it's;
(1) Well organized--
If not, work on making your ideas flow more
easily and your transitions (between
paragraphs) smoother.
(2) Interesting--
Details, words that appeal to the five senses,
and .examples can make it more appealing.
(3) Genuine--
It's critical to 11 be yourself.11 Try not to be
too careful about creating the right image.
Instead let your personality shine through by
using language and images that you might use
in talking with your friends.
*REWRITE YOUR ESSAY AT LEAST ONCE
It's the only guarantee that you'll improve it. If you haven't yet shown it
to someone else- -your parents, English teacher, guidance counselor, or any
adult who has had the experience of evaluating essays--do so now. Take
his or her suggestions to heart. You may be coming across as too flip if
you're trying to be funny, or you may not be revealing as much as needed
to make your essay understandable.
* EDIT YOUR FINAL DRAFT
Watch for errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar. If you're unsure,
look it up.
• HAVE SOMEONE ELSE PROOF-READ YOUR
FINAL DRAFT TO INSURE THERE ARE NO
MISTAKES
•
BE SURE TO MAKE A HARD COPY OF YOUR
ESSAYS AND KEEP THEM IN A FILE
GUIDELINES
MANUFACTURERS HANOVER
VOLUME 2, NUMBER 4
43
THE DREADED ESSAY: SOME Do•s AND DON•Ts
DO write lean! A cardinal rule promulgated by former Cornell University
professor, William Strunk, Jr., is for the writer to omit needless words. Strunk,
with noted author E. B. White, wrote The Elements of Style, a concise and practical
11
11
carry along handbook on the art of writing. The two gentlemen maintain that
11
11
11
Vigorous writing is concise • A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a
paragraph no unnecessary sentences for the same reason that a drawing should have
no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.11 Each time you use the
passive voice, you add words to a sentence. 11 Bob struck BiUU is 65 percent leaner
11
than Bob was struck by BiUU. The simple sentence in itself is active, moving from
subject through verb to object.
DO start early. Leave plenty of time to revise, reword, and rewrite. You can
improve on your presentation.
DO read the directions carefully. You will want to answer the question as
directly as possible, and you' II want to follow word limits exactly. Express yourself
as briefly and as clearly as you can.
DO tell the truth about yourself. The admissions committee is anonymous to
you; you are completely unknown to it. Even if you run into a committee member in
the future , he will have no way of connecting your essay (out of the thousands he
has read) to you.
DO focus on an aspect of yourself that will show your best side . You
might have overcome some adversity, worked through a difficult project, or
profited from a specific incident. A narrow focus is more interesting than are
broad- based generalizations.
DO consider using the three Common Application form topics as early
practice possibilities: (1) evaluate a significant experience or achievement that has
a special meaning to you; (2) discuss some issue of personal, local , or national concern
and its importance to you; (3) indicate a person who has had a significant influence
on you, and describe that influence.
DO feel comfortable in expressing anxieties. Everybody has them, and it's
good to know that an applicant can see them and face them.
DO speak positively. Negatives tend to turn people off.
DO write about your greatest assets and achievements . You should be
proud of them!
44
But ...
DON'T repeat information given elsewhere on your application. The committee
has already seen it--and it looks as though you have nothing better to say.
DON'T write on general, impersonal topics--like the nuclear arms race or the
importance of good management in business. The college wants to know about you.
DON'T sacrifice the essay to excuse your shortcomings unless you intend it to
be a natural and integral part of your topic. If it's a question of underachievement,
you should find a spot somewhere else in the application (or use a separate sheet of
paper) to explain why you had not been working to your ability.
DON'T use cliches .
DON'T go to extremes: too witty, too opinionated, or too 11 intellectual. 11
REMEMBER:
The personal statement is yours. If it looks like Madison Avenue, the
admission committee will probably assume that it is your mother's or your father's
or their secretaries!
A "gimmick" essay rarely goes anywhere. The committee is amused, but
unimpressed with your candidacy.
Write a serious essay, from the bottom of your heart, in the most mature
manner possible.
FOR ANY APPLICATIONS THAT YOU ARE SUBMITTING ON
PAPER, BE SURE TO PUT YOUR NAME ON EACH PIECE OF PAPER.
Permission to use this information was granted by Kenneth W. Hitchner. The
information was published in his book, Making A Difference In College Admission
45
IntclligenccrnovJ.com
.
)
Lessons from college~application essays
By BRIAN SHANLEY .
THE PROVIDENCE JOURNAL
f the entire college-application
process, it's the essay that generates the most fear from collegebound students.
Ignored during the summer, obsessed
over in the fall, the essay doesn't fret.
Instead, it waits patiently in the corner of
every room of the house until it finds its
way into words.
Last year I read 557 essays. This year is
similar. I read every essay. It can be both
daunting and haunting.
Some will be funny ("Top 10 Things
You Need to Know Growing Up a Girl in
an All-Male Household. Number 1: How
to get out of a headloek."); some lame
("I'm like a Cupcake"); some overstated
("(Insert any sport/activity) is .m y life");,
some of questionable taste ("One Young
Man's Goal: To Urinate in All 50 S'tates").
And then there are the ones that make you
slowly shake your head.
·
Consider:
• Devotion and grace. The common
application requests that students list
of Toys for Tots." She left the room, sat
father being both a person~! and public
their activities- a resume of sorts. Typifigure to her. At home, the father was an
down arid began to cry. She wrote, "In this
cally "band," " theater" or "volleyball"
abusive alcoholic, hirting.everyone in
world, there are so many things I know
appear in the space provided. Not always, sight; in town, he was greeted with enmu~ nothing about." How beautifully humble.
though. One young man wrote, "Stayjng
• Wisdom. One 17-yea~-old wrote: "I
siasm and smiles. She)¥rote;."Each timd ·
home to care for my termimilly ill father." see someone shake hi's'b ang·of
pat
him
on,,
have
not
lived fully yet, but there are two
"t
•
'\)
'\,
·~·
....
That's what he did after school. I emailed
the back, a little bit·o¥~e dies."
. ,
·lessons I have learned: Life goes on, and
him, wishing him well during those
• Resiliency. At lO,"she witnessed her
life is what you make of it." She wrote of
father murder her moiher. You'read that .
the ecopomic unraveling mat forced her
tough times. Later that day, after school
ended, he replied, "Thanks for your kind
right. The mother. was gone forever and
family to move from home to hotel to
thoughts; my father passed a\vay last
her famer for a very, very long time. For
homeless shelter. ''Almough I thought it
week." I wondered whence he was sending six years, she was "fine," keeping it all
was the worst thing that could happen to
his email. Was he home? Alone?
me ... it actually turned out to be one of
inside. Then one day she couldn't get out
• Simplicity. One high school senior
of bed ... and she couldn't for a long time. · the most interesting." How many of us
lived with.he.r grandmother her entire
She's out of bed now and looks forward to could call such a free fall "interesting''?
someday living in a college dorm. I hope
All mis wisdom from a life not yet fully
life because of her own parents' addic~
tions and abandonment of their daughmat I am graced with the opportunity to
lived .
After all that has h appened, these
. ter. She was so proud of and t11ankful
help her move in one· mild September day.
for her grandmother. There was just one
• Humility. A young woman recounted "kids" find someming: a belief or a simplt
problem: She never had a bed to sleep in.
her ff!mily's tradition of donating to the
hope that th'ings will somehow get better.
Later, she attended an overnight on Salve Toys for Tots Christmas program. Her
They move, not always at the pace they
Regina University's campus, in Newport; family was by no means well-to-do, but
had hoped or in the direction they foresaw, but they keep moving. Events proR.I. Most students anticipate a big night
her par·e nts always pelieved in helping
out, hop.e fullya party .o r two. When asked others. On Christmas, she visited her new duced their falls; character caused them tc
for the highlight of her visit, she said:
boyfriend. They were getting to kno~v
rise again.
each other while watching his younger
So I read every line of every college
"Sleeping in a bed. I slept great." She
didn't care that it was someone else's bed.
brothers enjoy their toys. Later, her boyessay because there are so many mings I
It was a bed, and that was good enough.
friend related that he had never received
know nothing about.
• Courage. A daughter of a small-town Christmas toys when young. "The only
Brian Shanley is director ol admissions at Salve
reason my bromers have them is because
Reg1na University in Newporl, R.I.
politician described the experience of her
0
..... ' " • ..)1"-
\j.
Published in Th e Daily lntelligencer on 3/11/2012
46