2014 Devon Tour
Magazine
www.southgatecompton.com
Intro and our accommodation
Whitsun half term is here again, and its
time to decamp from Sunny Cockfosters
to the tropical climes of Devon for our
54th tour.
Ladram Bay Holiday Park
Otterton
EX9 7BX
http://www.ladrambay.co.uk/
Ladram Bay
…….……historic picture of
Ladram Bay, the last time
blue sky was seen in 1904.
Tour Manager – Ron “Special Brew” Masters
Tour manager duties are again with the Special Brew Masters. Please treat
everything Special Brew says with the respect it deserves.
Any problems, questions, medical issues, intellectual posers please contact the
Special One in the first instance. SB will be in ultimate charge of affairs and will
decide on discipline, team selection, diet, and tidal flows.
Accommodation
Caravan 87
Caravan 89
Caravan 90
Ron
Chloe
Andy
Gary
Dave
Liam
Robbie
Peri
Graham
Roxanne
Duke
JOKES
As the plane was flying low over
some hills near Athens, a lady asked
the stewardess: "What's that stuff
on those hills?"
"Just snow," replied the stewardess.
"That's what I thought," said the
lady, "but this fellow in front of me
said it was Greece.
Jenny Pierson’s neighbour (left,
in green) is shocked to get this
response when she asks Jenny
to demonstrate her favourite
sex position. Geoff, you old dog!
Apparently, boneless melons are in
vogue this year!
Whilst Linda won’t be with us this year, owing to her having to
go to Sweden for some cosmetic surgery to have her hand
removed from her purse, there are plenty of things you can see
in the Devon countryside to remind you of this lovable old
dear……
The Sidmouth
Chinese Restaurant
“Master Ye Not” has
taken steps to
prevent another
incident by banning
the entire
Southgate Compton
touring side.
"Mrs Lawless...... we're going to let
you back up now as there are some
inspectors coming to Barnet Council
offices. Now remember, you have a
sore throat and can't speak."
What would the drummer in the Mexican Beatles be called?
Gringo Starr
Where's the best place in South Africa to get a Batman outfit?
Cape Town
What did the 0 say to the 8……Nice belt!
A guy walks into a bar with a set of jump leads…the bartender
says, buddy, I’ll serve you as long as you don’t start anything
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and order a beer, the
bartender says sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.
Two cows are sitting in a field, and one says to the other, “so,
how about that mad cow disease? Scary stuff, right?” To
which to other replies, “terrifying. But what do I care? I’m a
helicopter.”
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an
agnostic and a dyslexic? Someone who lays awake at
night wondering if there really is a dog.
Sudoku
Instructions for everyone except Ron
Complete the grid with the numbers 19 in every row and column and in each
9 space square.
Instructions for Ron
Colour in the empty boxes.
Starting with the highlighted letter
follow a continuous path to find lots
of fishy things. The trail passes
through each and every letter just
once and may twist up, down or
sideways but never diagonally.
Ronnie’s
General
Knowledge
Crossword
The real reason Pete no longer works on the
post.....he can’t swim!
"Please trust me
Shahid, I've
smuggled dozens
of tablecloths out
of the hotel this
way"
General Knowledge Crossword II
Never again would Pete Creed ask for a 55 inch
plasma screen TV to watch the World Cup.....
Sat Nav
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M25 to M3
J6 onto A303
Take A30 to Honiton
At Honiton take A375 to Sidmouth
At Sidford turn right onto A3052
Turn left onto the B3178 (Exmouth Rd)
st
After 3 miles, at roundabout, 1 exit onto Sleap Hill
(signposted Otterton)
Continue to Fore St, then Bell Street
Bear left onto Ladram Road
Sharp right onto Lower Ladram Lane
Destination EX9 7BX
Restaurants
La Rosetta (Italian)
An italian – need we say more?
Sidmouth Tandoori
(Indian)
For all you curriholics, a reasonable curry house.
Brown's Restaurant &
Wine Bar
The best cocktails, wine list and food in the area.
Wheelwrights Pub
Very Pleasant pub which does good pub food and
more substantial meals in the back.
The Chattery
Willow Tree Restaurant
The Old Clockhouse
Hare & Hounds Inn
Neil's Restaurant
67, High St, Sidmouth, Devon EX10 8LE
Church St, Sidmouth, Devon EX10 8LZ
12, Fore St, Sidbury, Sidmouth, Devon EX10 0SD
Putts Corner, Sidbury, Sidmouth, Devon EX10 0QQ
Radway Place,Vicarige Rd, Sidmouth, Devon EX10 8TL
High St, Newton Poppleford,
EX10 0DW
 01395 568136
7, Radway Place, Sidmouth,
EX10 8PY
 01395 579944
33, Fore St, Sidmouth,
Devon, EX10 8AQ
 01395 516724
Wheelwright Inn
Swan Hill Rd Colyford
Colyton EX24 6QQ
 01297 552585
01395 515853
01395 514890
01395 597322
01404 41760
01395 519494
The following are Devon country sayings. Try a few out in the pubs and cricket grounds and see how you
get on. When entering a pub, I would suggest
“I’m right achuucked, I’ve been oofing and querking all day, and that witpot filled Zart, Ron Masters, has
been snishums and gurt noodling since yawning”.
Apple drain = a wasp
Idden = not
Rimy = damp cold
Achuucked = thirsty
Jit = slight push
Raymes = a skeleton
Back se fore = wrong way round
Jannie fortnight = commercial traveller
Snishums = sneezing
Blid - a poor person
Jibber = horse that won't go
Steeved = numbed with cold
Bullums = sloes
Kiffy = left handed
Tatie trap = the mouth
Cawtch = a mess
Kone = top of a bank or hedge
Tea drinkers = a pair of soft best boots
Chaynee-eyed = squinting
Lent rosums = daffodils
Tid'n Vitty = ill fitting
Clat = lump of earth
Leary = hungry
Umby = later in the evening
Drumbeldrone = bumble bee
Mascalls = caterpillars
Ulking = big and heavy
Dranget = a crowd of folks
Maze as a brush = being silly
Ump = 'enough to drive me maze'
Dummon = wife
Mommet = scarecrow
Vake = sulky temper
Emtin cloam = drinking
Nomye = no
Vamp dish = a font
Eval = dung fork
No nort = not having much sense
Vitty = a job well done
Elfs = handles for tools
Oodwail = green woodpecker
Weest = sickly
Flass = fleece of wool
Oof = cough
Witpot = nonsense
Flink = to sprinkle
Ort = anything
Wipswile = now and again
Folshid = cheated
Phizog = a person's face
Yessle or yessling = fidgeting
Gakeing = day dreaming
Pinswell = a festering boil
Yawning = lambing time
Gurt noodle = acting silly
Palsh = walking slowly
Zart = daft
Hollee = to shout loudly
Querking = grunting
Zule = plough
Hooskey = hoarse
Raim = to get up and stretch
Zummit = something
Ronnie Master’s Famous Tour Quiz...
Lucky Numbers?
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
How many colours are there in the visible spectrum?
How many points are awarded to the winning car in a Formula 1 Grand Prix?
Who many operas are there in Richard Wagner's Ring cycle?
Denoting the original number of states in the Union, how many stripes are there on the flag of the U.S.A.?
How many hours from Tulsa was Gene Pitney in a 1963 hit?
How old (in years) is somewhat wayward pop star Miley Cyrus?
How many zeros are there following the 1 in the number called a Googol?
How many paintings did Vincent van Gogh sell in his lifetime?
How many milligrams are there in a kilogram?
Which number Boeing plane is also called the Dreamliner?
Here in My Car
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
From which country do Škoda cars come?
Lexus cars are the luxury division of which Japanese car firm?
Which actor played Michael Knight, driver of the modified Pontiac Firebird Trans Am KITT, in Knight Rider?
Both Rolls-Royce and Mini are now owned by which German car firm?
Which island country has the international vehicle registration letter M?
Which Italian car marque has over the years used a number of Greek letters for its models, such as Gamma,
Theta, Lambda and currently Delta?
Defender, Freelander and Discovery are models of which car brand?
Where in Britain are cars whose numberplate begins with the letter C registered?
Which writer created Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?
Don Wales is the grandson and nephew of men who drove the world record breaking Bluebird cars and currently
does so himself. What was the surname of his illustrious predecessors?
Mixed Bag
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
On what island was Bob Marley born in 1945?
In the card game of Blackjack or Pontoon, what are the two values an ace can have?
Three members of which band face paying millions of pounds of tax after a scheme they were in was declared to
be one of tax avoidance?
The title of which British legal official is abbreviated as DPP?
Which business-orientated newspaper has the largest weekday circulation of newspapers in America?
Who is the current reigning champion of Celebrity Big Brother?
What was the name of the Austrian act which won the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest?
Which country gained independence from Indonesia in May 2002?
Who has held the world men's long jump record of 8.95 metres since setting it in 1991 at the World
Championships in Tokyo?
According to the proverb, necessity is the mother of what?
What's in a Name?
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
Which capital city has a name that is the Spanish for "good winds"?
What was the name of Sherlock Holmes' older brother?
Played by Dawn French, what was the name of the Vicar of Dibley?
Desdemona is the wife of which titular Shakespeare character?
Which type of German wine has a name which translates into English as "the milk of the Virgin Mary"?
Parts of which two stations are combined to make the name of the brown-coloured line on the London
Underground map?
What is the name of the character played by Sue Nicholls in Coronation Street?
The only monarch of the country to have this name, who was King of England between Henry I and Henry II?
Beethoven's Sixth Symphony and Vaughan Williams's Third both share which nickname?
After the suicide of Ian Curtis, what name did the remaining members of Joy Division adopt for their new band?
Living in the Past
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
When he acceded to the British throne in 1714, George I was Elector of which city-state in Germany?
Who designed St Paul's Cathedral and numerous London churches after the Great Fire?
In which country did the Tokugawa Shoguns exercise power from 1603 to 1868?
Spain was effectively established as a country after Queen Isabella of Castile-Leon married King Ferdinand II of
where?
Which inventor made the first long-distance telephone call, from New York to Chicago in 1892?
What is the only surname common to a U.S. President and a U.K. Prime Minister in the twentieth century?
In which modern-day country was the Toltec civilisation based around the end of the first millennium A.D.?
Which city did Rome defeat in the Punic Wars?
In which century AD was the Prophet Muhammad born?
On their beheadings, Thomas Cromwell in 1540 and Robert Devereux in 1601 both held the title of Earl of which
county?
On the Big Screen
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
Which cinematic monster made his debut in a 1954 Toho Film movie, and has made numerous appearances
since?
Who plays Dr Watson opposite Robert Downey Jr.'s Sherlock Holmes?
What is the name of the Princess voiced by Cameron Diaz in the Shrek films?
In Four Weddings and a Funeral, who plays Gareth, whose death during the film provides the funeral of the title?
Who starred as Wayne Campbell in the two Wayne's World films?
In the 1951 Ronald Reagan film Bedtime for Bonzo, who or what was the titular Bonzo?
Sir Alec Guinness won his only Oscar for his performance as Colonel Nicholson in which 1957 film?
In which film does Russell Brand play out-of-control rock star Aldous Snow?
Which New Zealand-born director won an Oscar for best screenplay for her film The Piano?
In which film does Michael Fassbender play a musician who wears a giant papier-mâché head?
The teams are subject to
change due to weather and
other factors
Tour Teams and Details
Teams
Date
What to do in
the morning
Tipton St John
Monday 26th May
Putting competition
Sidmouth
Clyst Hydon
Tuesday 27th May
Throw eggs at a
passing politician.
Budleigh
Wed 28th May
Sri Lanka v England
(Old Trafford)
Kilmington
Thursday 29th May
Have a swim before
breakfast
Where to
lunch
The Golden Lion Inn
Tipton St. John,
EX10 0AA
01395 568198
Jeremy Gillham
The Five Bells Inn,
Clyst Hydon, EX15 2NT
Old Inn EX13 7RB
New Inn EX13 7SF
01404 822692
John Bowden
The Salterton Arms,
22 Chapel Street,
EX9 6LX
01392 431434
Lloyd White
2.30pm
*** 12 noon ***
2.30pm
2.30pm
Liam
Andy
Andy
Liam
Robbie
Chloe
Peri
Ed
Mike
Willo
Mark S
Liam
Andy
Robbie
Chloe
Peri
Greg
A player
B player
Willo
Geoff
Derek Bracewell
Derek Bracewell
Ian Day
Contact
Start time
Captain
Keeper
Tea money
Beer for oppo
Umpire
Scorer
Robbie
Chloe
Peri
Geoff
Derek Bracewell
Any players welcome!
01297 33203
David Lavender
Liam
Robbie
Peri
Mike