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Secondary 4 Literature in English – Important Response-Writing Skills
Dear Sec 4s,
Let’s work on some important skills related to writing responses to both passage-based and essay type
questions. We’ll be analyzing samples taken from our Mid-Year Examination papers. Although the
samples may be from different texts, the basic rules apply for all the texts we are studying. Get some
foolscap paper for editing and re-working the samples below and let’s begin!
Sample 1
Question Type
Question
Essay
Brutus says that the conspiracy should hide behind ‘smiles and affability’. Explore
two moments from the play that show vividly the power of manipulation and
deception.
Students’
Response
(second
paragraph,
first main
point)
The first moment in the play that vividly shows the power of manipulation and
deception is when Cassius approached Brutus. Brutus is a man who is well-known in
Rome for being honourable. However, through manipulation and deception, Brutus
changed into a completely different person. Cassius is fully aware of the impact of
having Brutus in the conspiracy to make the conspiracy seem more noble so people
would not doubt their intention of the conspiracy which is the reason why he
approached Brutus.
Mr. AH’s
Remarks
- this is a good choice of ‘moment’ as it is relevant and Shakespeare’s portrayal of
Cassius’s cunning manipulation of Brutus is striking indeed.
- description of moment could be more precise: this is the moment Cassius first
approached Brutus and happens at the procession celebrating Caesar’s triumph
over Pompey. These details give a clearer context for the moment that has been
chosen.
- think carefully about this statement: “Brutus changed into a completely different
person”. Is this really true? Thankfully the point being made is primarily about
Cassius’s manipulation and deceit, hence it is not an error that stands out too
much, yet an inaccurate statement like this may affect the examiner’s overall
impression of the student’s grasp of the character. How might we rephrase this so
we provide a more accurate description of Brutus’s situation?
- student has made an excellent point about how Cassius deliberately targeted
Brutus to be a member of the conspiracy as his ‘endorsement’ would give them
legitimacy. However, this point would have even more impact if a precise quote
were used to drive home this point. Can you think of a quote that would be great
for this point?
Skill to Practice Using Precise Evidence to Drive Home a Point with Impact
Look out for…
- Missing information which could provide useful context
- Statements which might be inaccurate or not clear enough
Task 1  Re-write the paragraph above, taking into consideration the remarks and suggestions made.
Do you have any other ideas that would make the point even stronger?
4epfggrhmjtmdmrah2016!
Sample 2
Question Type
Question
Essay
Brutus says that the conspiracy should hide behind ‘smiles and affability’. Explore
two moments from the play that show vividly the power of manipulation and
deception.
Students’
Response
(first and
second
paragraph,
first main
point)
After Caesar’s death, a speech was given to the mob by Brutus, followed by Mark
Antony. They both manage to manipulate the mob although Antony does it better
than Brutus, and with more skill.
Right after Caesar’s death, the mob was furious and unruly. Brutus addressed them
as “Romans, countrymen, lovers” and used reason to manipulate the crowd to his
will. In the beginning of his speech, the mob was furious at the conspirators for
murdering Caesar. However at the end of Brutus’ very diplomatic speech, the mob
has shifted allegiance and approved the murder of Caesar, and even want to make
Brutus a statue – one of the reasons that Brutus gave for the murder of Caesar,
which is startling and depicts how manipulation is so powerful that a single person
can totally change mindsets.
Mr. AH’s
Remarks
- this may arguably not be the ‘best’ choice as Brutus’s ‘manipulation’ of the mob is
not as striking as Mark Antony’s or even Cassius’s manipulation of Brutus. One
other thing to consider is if Brutus actually uses deceit here at all…
- “They both manage to manipulate the mob although Antony does it better than
Brutus, and with more skill.” Good comment here.
- “Brutus addressed them as “Romans, countrymen, lovers” and used reason to
manipulate the crowd to his will.” These 2 points have a lot of potential, but they
are not followed up on. What is the significance of Brutus’s opening lines that are
quoted here? How exactly did Brutus “use reason” to manipulate the crowd? Point
out his use of rhetorical questions and other devices (refer to page 164 of our text
for more examples) to convince the crowd that Caesar’s assassination was justified.
- “even want to make Brutus a statue – one of the reasons…” Is this really the
reason Brutus had for killing Caesar? Be careful with phrasing and choice of words
here. I know what you’re trying to say, but the expression needs to be more
precise: What exactly did they offer Brutus? Mention the irony of this.
Skill to Practice Developing a Point Fully with Close Reference to the Text
Look out for…
- Starting a good point but leaving it hanging
- Unclear or inaccurate phrasing
Task 2  Think about how you would re-write the point above, referring very closely to the text and
specifying exactly what devices Brutus uses and their effect on the mob. Create a rough outline, listing
the details you would include and your main points and insights in point form.
4epfggrhmjtmdmrah2016!
Sample 3
Question Type
Question
Passage-Based Question
How does Shakespeare make this passage so dramatically effective?
Student’s
Response
(Introductory
Paragraph for
question (i))
Shakespeare made the passage dramatically effective by portraying Caesar
as an arrogant man and how his arrogance led to his downfall. Also, the
increasing tension for the fear of the conspirators being discovered also led
to the passage being dramatically effective. Shakespeare also vividly
described the feelings of the many characters especially Cassius which
allows us to better understand the story.
Our Remarks
Skill to Practice
Look out for…
Sample 4
Question Type
Question
Passage-Based Question
How does Shakespeare make this passage so dramatically effective?
Student’s
Response
(2nd Main Point for
question (i))
Popilius Lena’s introduction on line 17, “Fare you well.” Indicates that
Popilius might have known of their plans and after wishing their enterprise
to thrive he proceeds to talk to Caesar. If Popilius told Caesar at that
moment, their plans will be exploited and Caesar might live. Instead,
Popilius talked to Caesar smiling, showing no sign of exploitation. It is
dramatically effective to highlight the fear Cassius has, fearing discovery
and receiving reprisal.
Our Remarks
Skill to Practice
Look out for…
4epfggrhmjtmdmrah2016!
Sample 5
Question Type
Question
Passage-Based Question
By referring closely to one earlier moment, do you consider Brutus’
involvement in the conspiracy ‘honourable’? Support your answer by
referring closely to the text.
Student’s
Response
(full response for
question (ii))
Brutus is actually a very contradicting character as what he claims is quite
the opposite of being honourable. Therefore I do not consider Brutus’
involvement in the conspiracy ‘honourable’.
Brutus, at first, was in a dilemma whether to side with Cassius or Caesar. He
did not want to harm Caesar but he was very bothered by what Cassius
mentioned. Brutus was then seen walking in the garden, thinking aloud. His
reasoning to kill Caesar was actually very contradicting. “To kill the egg
before the snake is spawned”. He had a weak reasoning to kill Caesar but
was determined when Cassius’ fake letter was being read. However, he
wanted the conspiracy to be more like a cleansing ritual where they would
not be sneaky and guilty to kill Caesar. He thought in order to be
honourable, he had to kill Caesar in an honourable manner.
However, in this passage, he seems to be very stealthy and aware of his
surroundings. And now he seemed to be more calm as compared to his
earlier self, where he is confused whether to kill Caesar. He seems to think
he was justified to kill Caesar but this is the opposite of honourable. Instead
of executing Caesar, Brutus is actually assassinating Caesar which is not
what an honourable person would do. His stealthiness and planning seems
to show he is indeed guilty of what he will do. Thus, Brutus’ involvement in
the conspiracy is not honourable but rather a ‘cowardly’ attempt to ‘save’
Rome from tyranny.
Our Remarks
Skill to Practice
Look out for…