Regular Dismissal Edition
“All the News that’s Fit for Camp”
Vol. 34 Issue 16
Logo by Katrina Lester, 11.7
WHERE’S COLIN?
A Heart Beat Investigation
FORGET WALDO: Colin has vanished into a crowd of campers. Can you find him?
(Game by Eleanor Moses, 11.2)
All Truth, No Lies:
Henry Ibanez Speaks
By Jemma Dawley, 9.1
IIIIIT’S HENRY! The Heart Beat finally got the scoop on
CAA pupil Henry, of “Two Truths and a Lie” fame. This interview is with Henry to see if he likes to be famous! This is the full
truth—no lies.
HB: Do you enjoy being part of Two Truths and a Lie in the
newspaper?
HI: I enjoy it, but it can be hard to think of
ideas.
HB: Would you like to be famous?
HI: No, because I wouldn’t want all the attention.
HB: Why not, Henry?
HI: I like my head to be in the books.
HB: When do you lie and when do you tell the truth?
HI: I tell the truth only when it’s important. I rarely lie.
HB: How did you feel when asked to start Two Truths and
a Lie?
HI: I thought it was going to be a one time thing. Sadly, it wasn’t.
HB: Fine. What has the experience taught you about truth and
falsehood?
HI: Lies can get you in trouble and it’s important to be honest.
HB: Will you miss challenging people to find the truth?
HI: Yes, because it was interesting what people thought was
true about me.
HB: Any last words?
HI: Remember to be truthful!
First Broadway Shows
By Katrina Lester, 11.7
Everyone here has seen a Broadway musical that CAA took us
to. They were really fun to see, but what was the first one they saw
at CAA? Let’s find out the first ones people saw...
Matilda (2013): 2 people
39 Steps (2015): 5 people
School of Rock (2016): 5 people
The Lion King (1998): 1 person
Wicked (2014): 2 people
Hot Feet (2006): 1 person
Annie (Maria saw it in the 80s!!!): 1 person
Mary Poppins (2009): 1 person
Stomp (2003): 1 person
Well, it seems like more people saw 39 Steps and School of
Rock. So these were all the musicals people saw. I wonder how
long ago they went to the Lion King. There are so many other
Broadway musicals people saw, these were just the ones people
said they saw. I bet all those musicals were amazing! I hope you
liked this article!
July 27, 2016
Grandpa Brokaw
By Ava Nolan, 8.6
As most of us may not know, Charlotte and Vivian Simon’s grandpa is Tom Brokaw. Thomas John Brokaw is
a famous journalist for NBC. He grew up in South Dakota. Now we’re going to do an interview with Vivian and
Charlotte.
HB: Do you think that Tom would be worthy to run
for president?
C: Yes, because he is very good at talking people into
things.
V: No, because it’s not related to his line of work.
HB: Is your grandpa often around?
C: No, not really.
V: I’d say yeah, when he can be.
HB: I know that your grandpa had back cancer.
Has he recovered?
C: Partially.
V: Pretty much. He even wrote a book about it.
HB: At what age did he start doing journalism?
V+C: He told me a story: when he was seventeen, the
mayor of New York invited him to New York for something. A few days later, he called home to his parents and
asked if he could stay a bit longer. His parents waited, and
then his dad said, well, I guess you’ll never return, so okay.
Now, of course, he lives in Manhattan.
HB: What’s the most special thing you’ve done
with him?
C: Going to the White house with him. One embarrassing moment was when I dropped my quarter into the aisle
and couldn’t pick it up because it’s not respectful to bow
to the president without his command.
V: I loved going to the White House because I got to
meet the President, the President’s wife, Meryl Streep,
Stevie Wonder, and I even had a short talk with the Vice
President without realizing that he was the Vice President.
Also, I argued with Meryl Streep about taking a White
House napkin (she won, and I ended up taking it).
HB: Are you getting bored of these questions?
C: Sorta.
V: Most certainly.
HB: Good, ‘cause we’re out of time!
I Have Eleven Pets
By Riley Thompson-Wordsman, 7.9
Hi, my name is Riley. I have eleven pets. Let’s see their
names.
1. Sugar: she is a dog and is not that nice.
2. Cinnamon: he is a dog and gets excited easily.
3. Clemmie: she is a dog and is always hyper.
4. Gracie: she is a dog and she is very heavy.
5. Goldie: she is a fish.
6. Ready: she is a betta fish.
7. Bleuie is a betta fish.
8. Old cat is a cat and I have only seen her one time.
9. Black cat is a cat, and is not around much.
10. Scrambles: she is a cat and is very fluffy.
11. Murry, a bird, is very noisy.
So those are my pets.
P.S. No offense if you want a pet.
#LifeHacks
Exotic Meats of CAA
What is a #LifeHack? A #LifeHack is a simple, innovative solution to an everyday problem, especially a very
annoying everyday problem. We like to consider ourselves
experts.
Problem: Your headphones keep getting tangled.
Solution: Use a binder clip to keep the earpieces together so they don’t get tangled.
Problem: Pizza gets cold on the car ride home.
Solution: Put it on the seat next to you and turn on the
seat warmer.
Problem: Scissors aren’t sharp enough.
Solution; Cut sandpaper, with the grit facing outwards.
Problem: Your alarm is annoying in the morning and
you don’t feel like waking up.
Solution: Smash your phone into tiny little pieces.
Problem: You have bad eyesight.
Solution: Get glasses or contacts.
Problem: Your favorite team isn’t winning.
Solution: Find a new team (if you’re a Yankees fan).
Problem: You aren’t good at soccer (futbol).
Solution: Play without the ball. Now anything is possible, as long as you have the exact same imagination as
someone else.
Problem: You don’t know what you’re gonna do for the
Heart Beat.
Solution: Write for the Heart Beat, silly goose!
We all love meat—well, besides vegetarians and vegans, and we
know about all the common meats (pork, beef, chicken, ham,
etc). But have we even heard of, let alone tried, any DIFFERENT meats? I will be polling the people in the Heart Beat offices,
thus answering that question.
Q: What exotic meats have YOU tried?
Tallulah: Cow’s heart
Charlotte: Elk heart, Elk tongue, chicken bladder and chicken
feet
Christina (staff): Octopus, I guess
Noah: Cow’s tongue
Jacob: Pig lungs
Eleanor: Venison
Vivian: Buffalo tongue, Elk heart, Chicken, squid and octopus
Theo: I’m gonna pass
Max: Kangaroo
Tim: None
Anjali: I don’t know
Erin: Snail
Vivienne: None
Matt (Intern): None
Louisa: None
Hannah: No
Katrina: No
Corinne (CIT): I had some very suspicious roast beef out of
my fridge the other day
Matt (Staff): Ostrich. But I’m dying to try gator nuggets.
Jemma: I don’t know. Let’s say lobster, maybe squid
Sophie: No
Riley: I’m not sure
Last but not least; Preston: Alligator, Rabbit Paté, Snail.
So we have some very exotic meat eaters here. I guess I’m one
of them.
And we also have Hudson, who I interviewed for no apparent
reason.
By Tim Schachner, 13.8, and Theo
Servedio, 14.0
By Dylan Mitchell, 14.7
Pokemon—the series your parents would always pronounce “pokey man” and you had to pretend it didn’t annoy you. Every gamer has at least heard of Pokemon. I
may not be the biggest fan, but I do really like the series.
I especially like Gens 1, 4, 5, and 6; play Pokemon Mystery Dungeon; and I even like Pokemon Dash (okay...no
I don’t. Nobody likes Pokemon Dash). And do I even
need to mention Pokemon Go (I don’t need to play it to
know how much people like it)? Anyway, there are over
700 different Pokemon. However, only one really caught
my eye. In Pokemon Red or Blue, if you go to the man
who teaches you to catch a Pokemon, then fly away to
Cinnabar Island immediately as he notices you, then surf
along the edge of the right shore, you encounter a Pokemon like you’ve never seen before.
“What is this Pokemon? This wasn’t in the TV show.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.” That Pokemon
is called Missingno. If you catch this Pokemon, the item
in your 6th slot will be multiplied by infinity. That means
unlimited Master Balls or unlimited Rare Candies. So, I
did it and I completed the Pokedex and caught all 151
Pokemon in the game...except for Mew...I never figured
out how to do the Mew glitch. Thanks for reading.
Questionable Recipes
By Erin Bejasa, 10.4, Anjali Marwell, 9.9,
and Vivienne Weinberg, 10.2
Chocolate Cake (Serves One)
Ingredients for cake:
5 sticks of salty butter
45 cups of flour
10 teaspoons of dark brown sugar
13 tablespoons of vanilla beans
12 gallons of water
90 tablespoons of sugar
15 tablespoons of S’YHSREH Cocoa
19 cups of the saltiest salt
200 large eggs
65 gallons of fresh milk
43 cups of baking soda
937 cups of baking powder
54 quarts of boiling water
98 gallons of vegetable oil
How to make
Heat the oven to 126074 *F.
Stir everything together.
Then, bake the cake until you feel like taking it out.
If you want, never take the cake out of the oven!!!
Ingredients for frosting:
95 cups of S’YHSREH Cocoa
19 cups of powdered sugar
56 gallons of fresh milk
32 large bottles of vanilla extract
How to Make the Frosting
Put all the frosting ingredients in the bowl and stir. Top
the cake with the frosting. Cake is ready!
The “Cake” should turn out
like this.
Corinne: A Life
By Sophie Saxl, 8.5
We’ve seen her necklace, we’ve seen her laugh, but what don’t
we know about Corinne?!
HB: On a scale of 1-100, how weird do think you are?
A: I think I’m 5000. I’m the most normal person you’ll ever
meet.
HB: What’s your frog necklace’s name?
A: Franklyn, but Frankie for short.
HB: Is it really true that you have two last names?
A: It is true that I have two last names--two epic last names. Rabbin is my mother’s, and Birnbaum is for my father. When they got
married, my mom didn’t want to change her name and wanted
to give me her name. Hence, my lovely hyphenated beauty was
born. You know, I’m the only person in the world with my name.
I think that’s super cool.
HB: Where did you get your awesome frog necklace?
A: I got it as my high school graduation gift.
HB: How long have you been at CAA?
A: 12 years (with a 2 year break between the last two).
HB: How are you a mystical person?
A: In the words of a certain favorite singer of mine, I am a
mystic in the sense that i’m still mystified by things. I also do palm
readings, if you have $5.
HB: What is the most mystical thing about you?
A: Definitely my eyes.
HB: What’s the best book you have ever read?
A: I have read many books, but some of my favorites are: The
Andromeda Strain, Jane Eyre, Huckleberry Finn, The Great Gatsby, and
The Illustrated Man.
HB: What kind of pie would you feed to a green squid?
A: Hmm...well, I would assume the squid wanted to change
up his color palette, so I would give him a pie that was any color
except for green. Probably pumpkin, because even a squid needs
a healthy dose of autumnal vibes.
HB: What do you think is the most ugly animal ever?( I
personally think blobfish.)
A: I think all animals are beautiful in some way (even blobfish),
except for mosquitos. There is no beauty in those disgusting,
toxic little pests.
Thanks for reading and have a great day!
By Preston Frankel, 11.8
An Unnecessary Interview with Hudson
Me: Why do you consider yourself weird?
Hudson: Have you met me?
Me: Do you enjoy considering yourself weird?
Hudson: I LLLOOOVVVEEE BEING WEIRD.
Me: What’s your favorite type of ice cream?
Hudson: Ice cream with s’mores on it, chocolate chips,
whipped cream, sprinkles, waffles and candy corn.
Me: Have you ever actually eaten that?
Hudson: No, but it sounds good.
Me: Do you like this camp?
Hudson: Yes, yesduh, yesduh, yesduh.
Me: Ok… are you considering becoming a CIT?
Hudson: (long pause) I don’t know, are you?
Me: Possibly, but this is about you, after all.
After this interview, I shook hands with Hudson. He was
very aggressive, and then he asked to shake hands with the
other hand, and was once again, very aggressive.
SUZ SEZ
Get ready for the
LAST NOONTIME
SHOW!
And the Musical
TOMORROW at
6pm!