RADIO SHOW PREP December 11
ON THIS DAY: Dec 11
1719 - The first recorded sigh ng of the aurora borealis took place in New
England.
1769 - Edward Beran of London patented vene an blinds.
1816 - Indiana was admi&ed to the Union as the 19th American state.
1844 - Dr. Horace Wells became the first person to have a tooth extracted
a-er receiving an anesthe c for the dental procedure. Nitrous Oxide, or laughing gas, was the anesthe c.
1928 - In Buenos Aires, police thwarted an a&empt on the life of President-elect Herbert Hoover.
1941 - Germany and Italy declared war on the United States. The U.S in turn declared war on the two
countries.
1946 - The United Na ons Interna onal Children's Emergency Fund (UNICEF) was established by the
U.N. General Assembly. The fund provides relief to children in countries devastated by war.
1951 - Joe DiMaggio (New York Yankees) announced his re rement from major league baseball. DiMaggio only played for the Yankees during his 13-year career.
1981 - Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st fight to Trevor Berbick.
1987 - Charlie Chaplin's trademark cane and bowler hat were sold at Chris e's for £82,500.
1988 - 62 people were killed in a Mexico City marketplace when tons of illegal fireworks exploded.
1997 - More than 150 countries agreed at a global warming conference in Kyoto, Japan, to control
the Earth's "greenhouse gases."
1998 - Scien sts announced that they had deciphered the en re gene c blueprint of a ny worm.
1998 - The Mars Climate Orbiter blasted off on a nine-month journey to the Red Planet. However,
the probe disappeared in September of 1999, apparently destroyed because scien sts had failed to
convert English measures to metric values.
1998 - Majority Republicans on the House Judiciary Commi&ee pushed through three ar cles of impeachment against U.S. President Clinton.
2001 - A&orney General Ashcro- announced the first federal indictment directly related to the terrorist a&acks on the United States on September 11, 2001. Zacarias Moussaoui was charged with six
conspiracy charges. Moussaoui was in custody at the me of the a&acks.
2001 - Federal agents seized computers in 27 U.S. ci es as part of "Opera on Buccaneer." The raids
were used to gain evidence against an interna onal so-ware piracy ring.
2013 - Standard & Poors announced that Facebook would join its S&P 500 index "a-er the close of
trading on December 20."
BORN ON THIS DAY: DEC 11
Donna Mills 1943 Actress
Brenda Lee 1944 Singer
Teri Garr 1949 Actress
Jermaine Jackson 1954 Singer “Jackson 5”
Nikki Sixx 1958 - Musician (Motley Crue)
JUST TO MAKE YOU SMILE A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the
car. A-er looking the man over the policeman says, "Sir, I couldn't help but no ce your eyes are
bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help
Copyright 2016 My Kool FM - Central California Public Service Broadcasters. All Rights Reserved.
but no ce your eyes are glazed. Have you been ea ng doughnuts?"
ON THE LIGHT SIDE A police officer a&empts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed un l he's topping 100 mph. The man eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my shi- is almost
over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few
seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be
that officer trying to give her back!"
CHUCKLE FOR TODAY Two guys are walking through a game park & they come across a lion that has
not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one
guy starts geOng red and decides to say a prayer, "Please turn this lion into a Chris an, Lord." He
looks to see if the lion is s ll chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the
lion saying a prayer: "Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive."
JUST FOR LAUGHS During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I
got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took
a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise
not to touch the blindfold un l he returned and went to answer the call. The beans I had consumed
were s ll affec ng me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of
the room I seized the opportunity, shi-ed my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud,
but it smelled like a fer lizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shi-ing to the other leg, I ripped
off three more. The s nk was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the
conversa on in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few
minutes. The pleasure was indescribable! Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of
my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more mes with my napkin, placed it on my lap and
folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been
the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if
I had peaked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the
blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, chorused, "Happy Birthday!"
TODAY’S WACKY HOLIDAY Interna onal Children's DayDate Celebrated: The second Sunday in December.
This is a joint ini a ve between UNICEF and the Interna onal Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. It's a day when broadcasters "tune in to kids".
KIDS SAY THE DARNEDEST THINGS A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgus ng. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. A-er dinner the father asks,
"Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your
soup, but now it’s gone."
MORE GIGGLES A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, "Give me all the money or you're geography!" The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or you're history?'" The
robber says, "Don't change the subject!"
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YOU’RE GONNA LAUGH OUT LOUD A man walks out on his front porch one day and sees a gorilla
in the tree on his front lawn. He calls animal control and about an hour later a man shows up with
a ladder, a pit bull, and a shotgun. The animal control employee tells the man, "I'm here to get the
gorilla out of your tree. I'm going to use this ladder to climb up the tree and shake the branch the
gorilla is on to knock him to the ground. The pit bull is trained to go a-er anything that falls from
the tree and bites their prey which calms the animal down so I can put him in the truck." The man
says "Okay, I see what the ladder and the pit bull are for but what is the shotgun for?" The animal
control employee says, "Oh, that's for you. In case I fall out of the tree instead of the gorilla, shoot
the dog."
QUOTE FOR TODAY A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A
successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Lana Turner
DID YOU KNOW? Douglas MacArthur’s mother used to send letters to his military superiors suggesting they promote her son.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY Always be yourself because the people that ma&er don't mind and the
ones that mind don't ma&er.
HOUSEHOLD TIP Lights Out: Always turn off holiday lights when you leave the house unattended
or when going to bed.
WORD OF THE DAY Incredulous adj. 1. Skeptical; disbelieving. “Most people are incredulous of
stories about flying saucers.” 2. Expressive of disbelief. “An incredulous stare.”
KNOCK KNOCK JOKE Knock knock. Who's there? Phil. Phil who? Phil up the tire. It needs more air
STRANGE ANIMAL FACT . Koalas are actually not bears — they’re marsupials — and they sleep for
18 hours a day.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT The world’s smallest winged insect, the Tanzanian parasi c wasp, is smaller
than the eye of a housefly.
FOR BLONDES ONLY There's a blond and a brune&e in a car. The brune&e is driving while the
blonde is in the passenger seat. They're going down a steep hill when the brune&e realizes that
the brakes don't work. The brune&e tells the blonde that the brakes don't work and they will
drive off the side of the cliff because they failed to stop. The blonde then replies, "Don't worry!
There's a stop sign ahead."
TODAY’S CHUCKLE A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You
have acute appendicitis." The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical
help."
TOTALLY USELESS INFO / In 5 billion years the Sun will run out of fuel and turn into a Red Giant.
DID YOU KNOW The Earth spins at 1,000 mph but it travels through space at an incredible 67,000
mph.
WHERE’D THAT COME FROM? PLEASED AS PUNCH Meaning: To be very happy History: A 17th
century puppet show for children called Punch and Judy featured a puppet named Punch who always killed people. The act of killing brought him pleasure, so he felt pleased with himself afterwards.
DON’T MISS THIS A mom texts, "Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?" He texts back, "I
Don't Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later." The mom texts him, "It's ok, don't worry about it. I'll
ask your sister, love you too.”
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OK, JUST ONE MORE! A boy with a monkey on his shoulder was walking down the road when he
passed a policeman who said, "Now, now young lad, I think you had be&er take that monkey the
zoo." The next day, the boy was walking down the road with the monkey on his shoulder again,
when he passed the same policeman. The policeman said, "Hey there, I thought I told you to take
that money to the zoo!" The boy answered, "I did! Today I'm taking him to the movies."
ONE TO TELL YOUR FRIENDS A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So
they each go into the woods, find a bear, and a&empt to convert it. Later they get together. The
priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy
water. Next week is his first communion.” “I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and
preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me bap ze him.” They both look
down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “Maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.”
YOU’RE REALLY GONNA LOVE THIS A woman was taking an a-ernoon nap. When she woke up, she
told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it
to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book en tled "The Meaning of Dreams."
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