24th July 2014
Here is a wonderful article written by a Katandra mother about her son.
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I wanna swap
Anonymous
I knew my son, Byron, was somewhat outgrowing his diagnoses of autism
when he put one of his star reward charts up on the fridge and said “Mum
clean your room and you can have a star! – I wanna swap!”
Swapping is an intricate part of social interaction, communication and
entertainment. Kids swap toys and cards, girls swap clothes, we have swap
meets, reality shows to swap families, in movies and stories people swap
identities to learn lessons, we swap recipes, swap ideas in think tanks and
meetings and we swap beliefs for the sake of a good debate. Even though
society prizes possessions and consumerism the culture of swapping allows
us to speak heart to heart and say “I want connection”. The act of giving joy to
another is a letting go of ego and attachment. It’s a part of who we are and
what we are all capable of.
Part of an autism diagnoses is often the inability to process more than a
couple of instructions at once- there is often a single minded focus at any one
time. Yet Byron will swap words in sentences and, surprisingly, this way can
memorise a long list of tasks. He say’s to me “I watch my milk and drink the
video, I play the toast and butter the computer and (his favourite part!) I eat
my teeth and brush the eggie!” We laugh uncontrollably.
PTO 
Parent Page is prepared by Katandra Parents. The Department of Early Childhood Development does not
endorse the products or services of any private advertiser. No responsibility is accepted by the Department of
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24th July 2014
New areas of science are finding that people with autism process information
differently and hence learn in a different way. Byron, like a lot of young kids, often
writes numbers and letters backwards. I drilled him for weeks to do it ‘properly’ with
slow progress. One day I decided to ‘swap’ and copy his numbers – just to
experience what it is like to do something which goes against your natural flow. It is
very difficult and I made a lot of ‘mistakes’! When I finally wrote the numbers 1-10
backwards Byron said “Mummy got it right!” Appreciating his view somehow allowed
him to learn and now he can write his letters and numbers the way he is expected
to.
Other defining characteristics of an autism diagnoses are rigidity, repetitive
behaviour, developmental delay and a resistance to change. Yet, Byron seems to
move between states of being that I can hardly comprehend. A door creaks in the
wind steadily -open and close, open and close, open and close and Byron can
concentrate for a long time, glancing at me and smiling with intense alertness
enjoying the simple rhythm. What could be an everyday noise becomes a doorway
to connection and mindfulness. Social interaction requires only two people.
When Byron was first diagnosed 4 years ago I was trapped in the cycle of
diagnoses, grief and fear for the future. This cycle is natural and ongoing but it is
only part of the story. Byron has taught me that the shortest distance between any
two people is acceptance. One of my favourite swapping games is when Byron
say’s “I want to love mummy so…big!” and laughs hysterically. Then he will
substitute all his favourite things to express the extent of his love - “I want to love
mummy so…train set!” and “I want to love mummy so…computer!” and so on…
The essence of swapping is a conscious act of non-attachment. It prompts me to
question whether this is a pathway to our true nature? Perhaps the ‘alarming’
increase in autism is a compass to guide us on our spiritual path?
We practice swapping so much in our culture acknowledging the transience of the
physical world and possessions. What if we could take a leap of faith and swap our
beliefs, judgements and habits as easily as a recipe or a dress? What limit would
there be to the connecting of our hearts?
PTO

Parent Page is prepared by Katandra Parents. The Department of Early Childhood Development does not
endorse the products or services of any private advertiser. No responsibility is accepted by the Department of
Education for Accuracy of Information contained in advertisements or claims made by them.