DOROTHY
Book by Brian D. Taylor
Music by Bill Francoeur, Lyrics by Scott DeTurk
with addtitional lyrics by Bill Francoeur
© Copyright 2014,Pioneer Drama Service,Inc.
Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that a royalty must be paid for every
performance, whether or not admission is charged. All inquiries regarding rights should
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all nations of the United Kingdom.
ONE SCRIPT PER CAST MEMBER MUST BE PURCHASED FOR PRODUCTION RIGHTS.
COPYING OR DISTRIBUTING ALL OR ANY PART OF THIS BOOK
IN ANY MANNERIS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN BY LAW.
On all programs , printing and adver tising, the following information must appear:
1.The full name of the musical
2. The full name of the playwright and composer/arranger
3. The following notice: "Produced by special arrangement with
Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., Englewood, Colorado"
!Pioneer
DR AMA SERVICE
DOROTHY IN WONDERLANDTHE MUSICAL
Freely adapted from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz,
Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass
Book by BRIAN D. TAYLOR
Music by BILL FRANCOEUR , lyrics by SCOTI DeTURK
with additional lyrics by BILL FRANCOEUR
CAST OF CHARACTERS
# of lines
Ozian Characters
DOROTHY .................................poor girl who's still hoping to
find her way back to Kansas
TOTO ........................................dog that loves the chase
SCARECROW .............................extremely smart
UON.........................................very brave and always ready
for the fight
TIN MAN ...................................soft-hearted and tender ;
recites poetry
WIZARD ....................................not so wonderful and still a
humbug, but also wise in
his ways
GLINDA .....................................lovely witch of the North
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PAWN .......................................red chess piece; one of the
king's soldiers
ROOK .......................................another
KNIGHT ....................................another
TWEEDLE DEE ...........................twin who wants to have a battle
TWEEDLE DUM..........................the other
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FISH FOOTMAN .........................Queen's messenger
CHESHIRE CAT ONE ...................vanishing cat who grins a lot
CHESHIRE CAT TWO ..................the same
CHESHIRE CAT THREE ...............the same
QUEEN OF HEARTS ....................angry tyrant who rules
Wonder land
FIVE .........................................card and servant to the Queen
SEVEN ......................................another
KNAVE OF HEARTS ....................another, but also a sneaky thief
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Wonderland Characters
WHITE RABBIT...........................very skittish and tardy servant
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to the Queen
ROSE .......................................beautiful flower that talks tough
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TIGER LILY ................................flower afraid of dogs
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TULIP .......................................friendly flower
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CATERPI LLAR ............................thoughtful, inquisitive and
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blunt to the point of rudeness
HUMPTY DUMPTY ......................clumsy and overly sensitive egg
KING OF HEARTS .......................ruler of Wonderland along with
he Queen of Hearts
ALICE .......................................curious girl who's hoping to find
her way back to England
MAD HADER.............................hat maker who 's absolutely
bonkers
MARCH HARE.............•..............crazy rabbit; just as bonkers as
his hatter friend
DORMOUSE .................•............sleepy mouse
FROG FOOTMAN ........................wizard 's difficult-to-deal-with
servant
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CHORUS ...................................as OZIANS, TORNADO DANCERS,
CHESS PIECES, PLAYING CARDS ,
FLOWERS, WINKIES, MUNCHKINS
SETIING
Time: Once upon a time.
Place: Briefly in the Emerald City of Oz, then on to Wonderland.
Ideally, the Emerald City scene in ACT ONE, Scene One would be the
one scene with a different look. This can be accomplished by playing
this opening scene before the curtain or by placing a removable
backdrop in front of the Wonderland backdrop.
Starting in ·ACT ONE, Scene Two , the entire rest of the show can be
played before a single backdrop depicting the abundant beautiful
and strange flora and fauna of Wonderland. Simple props are quickly
brought on to give each scene a unique look and sense of place. For
instance, at the tea party, a table with settings for tea is brought on.
At the trial, tables and chairs are brought on to create the look of a
courtroom.
Specifically, a mushroom stool is required for CATERPILLAR in ACT
ONE, Scene Two. A short wall is required for HUMPTY DUMPTY to sit
on in ACT ONE, Scene Three. On the reverse side, the wall is made up
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to be a hedge with white and red roses for the QUEEN'S rose gardn
in ACT ONE, Scene Eight and ACT TWO, Scene Three. A rock or bush is
needed for ACT ONE, Scene Seven and ACT TWO, Scene Two-. A great
tree is also needed for ACT TWO,Scene Two.
SYNOPSIS OF SCENES
ACT ONE
.
Scene one: Goodbye, Emerald City (can be played before the curtain)
Scene Two: The Live Garden
Scene Three: The Tin Man's Arrest
Scene Four: The Battle
Scene Five: The Good Witch
Scene Six: A Mad Tea Party
Scene Seven: The Stolen Tarts
Scene Eight: Painting the Roses Red
Scene Nine: The Great Oz
ACT TWO
Scene One: A Mad Adventure (played before the curtain)
Scene Two: Directions from an Old Friend
Scene Three: 9roquet
Scene Four: The Trial
MC1
MC1a
MC1b
MC2
MC2a
MC2b
MC2c
MC3
MC3a
MC4
MC5
MC5a
MC6
MC6a
MC6b
MC7
MC8
MC8a
MC9
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SEQUENC E OF MUSICAL NUMBERS
PROLOGUE
Two
Worlds .......................................Ensemble
ACT ONE
Flight of the Balloon-Underscore ........Instrumental
White Rabbit-Entrance ......................White Rabbit
Somehow, Some Way .........................Dorothy, Scarecrow,
Tin Man, Lion
The Tornado-Underscore ...................Instrumental
White Rabbit-Entrance ......................White Rabbit
White Rabbit-Entrance ......................White Rabbit
IAin't a-Scared o' Nuttin'!..................Lion, Tweedle Dee,
Tweedle Oum
White Rabbit-Entrance ......................White Rabbit
I'm Just a Girl ...................................A lice, Glinda
A Mad Adventure...............................Scarecrow, Mad
Hatter, March Hare,
Dormouse
White Rabbit-Entrance ......................Wh ite Rabbit
Who Stole the Tarts? .........................A lice, Fish Footman,
Knight
Who Stole the Tarts-Reprise ..............Queen, Five, Seven,
Knight,Knave,
Footman
Recitation-Underscore.......................Instrumental
The Heartless Executioner .................Queen, Tin Man,
King, Five, Seven,
Playing Cards
Will We Ever See Home Again? ...........Alice, Dorothy,
Wizard , Scarecrow,
Tin Man, Lion
Ozians
ACT TWO
Entr'Acte-A Mad Adventure ................Ensemble
Everyone Has To Be Somewhere .........Cheshire Cats ,
Dorothy,Alice, Lion
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MC9a
MC9b
MC9c
MC9d
MC9e
MC9f
MC9g
MC10
MC10a
MC11
MC11a
A Mad Adventure-Reprise ..................Mad Hatter, March
Hare, Dormouse,
Scarecrow, Lion,
Dorothy, Alice
White Rabbit-Entrance ......................White Rabbit
Fanfare and Processional. ..................Instrumental
Recitation-Underscore .......................lnstrumental
Recitation-Underscore .......................Instrumenta I
Fanfare .............................................Instrumental
Processiona l-Scene Change ..............Instrumental
Wicked 01' Witch! ........................ ......Dorothy,Alice, Lion,
Tin Man, Scarecrow,
Queen, King, White
Rabbit, Knave, Five,
Seven, Winkies,
Munchkins
GIinda's Entrance-Linderscore ............Instrumenta I
Back Where It All Began.....................Dorothy, Alice,
Glinda, Scarecrow,
Tin Man, Lion,
Ensemble
EPILOGUE
Curtain Call-Two Worlds.....................Ensemble
DOROTHY IN WONDERLANDTHE MUSICAL
Prologue
1 MUSIC CUE 1
: "Two Worlds ." ENSEMBLE ENTERS in the dark.
DOROTHY, TOTO and OZIANS form a group STAGE RIGHT while ALICE
and the WONDERLAND CHARACTERS form a group STAGE LEFT.WHITE
RABBIT moves DOWN CENTER. SPOTLIGHT UP on WHITE RABBlt
5 WHITE RABBIT: (Sings.) Two worlds, so many faces,
So many stories yet untold.
So many different, radical points of view,
Slightly askew.
Two worlds, such different places
Filled with dilemmas soon to unfold.
Let your mind travel,
Free to unravel.
Where's where, what's what, and who is who? (LIGHTS UP on the
ENSEMBLE.)
15 ENSEMBLE: (Sings.) Two worlds, craziest cases,
Outlandish beings out of sync.
Hither and wither, constantly led astray,
Finding their way.
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Two worlds , queens, kings and aces,
Willy and nilly, on the brink.
Teeters and totters,
Schemers and plotters,
Dealing the cards they all play.
DOROTHY/OZIANS: (Sing.) Imagine a future
That goes beyond your wildest dreams.
ALICE/WONDERLAND FOLK: (Sing.) You'll never imagine
Where dreams are taking you.
ENSEMBLE: (Sings.) Somewhere nothing's as it seems.
It's true!
Two wor lds, curious faces.
Can't help but wonder who they are.
Topsy and turvy, don't know inside from out,
Fumbling bout.
Two worlds, quirkiest places.
'Round every corner hides a surprise,
Something astounding, strangely dumbfounding.
Logic defying, there's no denying.
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Things are off kilte_r. and somet ing's the tilter.
Mingling and mangling, watch it untangling
Right before your very eyes. (ENSEMBLE EXITS as LIGHTS FADE to
BLACK. MUSIC OUT.)
End of Prologue
ACT ONE
Scene One - Goodbye , Emerald City
5 LIGHTS UP: The Emerald City. OZIANS have gathered for DOROTHY'S
big trip back to Kansas with the WIZARD. A giant hot air balloon 'is
STAGE RIGHT. (See PRODUCTION NOTES.) SCARECROW, TIN MAN,
LION and DOROTHY stand in line as WIZARD addresses them one by
one.
10 WIZARD : Very well. (To SCARECROW.) Now, Scarecrow, you've got your
brains.
SCARECROW : (Smart.) Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for
tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.
WIZARD: Ican see they're working already! (To TIN MAN.) The Tin Man
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has his heart.
TIN MAN: (Kneels and recites.) How do I love thee? Let me count the
ways.
OZIAN GIRLS: (Swoon.) Awww!
WIZARD: (To TIN MAN.) You'd better be careful with that, or you'll be
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breaking some hearts.
TIN MAN: Yes, sir.
WIZARD : (To LION.) And you, Lion. You've got your courage.
One more? But there are two more of us. Toto's coming,
too. Isn't there any room for Toto?
WIZARD: Who's Toto?
DOROTHY: You know Toto. He's my dog.
5 WIZARD: Oh,yes, yes. I remember. No.
DOROTHY: Oh, but I can't leave him here. Please tell me Toto can
come.
WIZARD: I don't know. Is he trained?
DOROTHY: Oh, yes. And he'll be on his very best behavior. I promise
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he won't be a bother, and he's very small, so I'm sure there will be
plenty of room.
WIZARD: (Hesitant.) Well... (LION leans into WIZARD and growls.) Yes, I
suppose we can make it work. Come along then,we must be off at
once! (Steps into the balloon. [NOTE: If not using a balloon, WIZARD
1 DOROTHY:
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WIZARD: Easy there, tiger.
LION: (Glares and corrects him.) Ahem, Lion.
WIZARD : Ah, yes, yes, of course. Now, you've all gotten what you
came for, so you can all be on your merry ways!
TIN MAN: But you've forgotten about Dorothy!
LION: Yeah. What's the meaning of this?
30 SCARECROW : Are you trying to pull a fast one on us?
TIN MAN: You promised to help her get back to Kansas.
WIZARD : Oh, yes. I have, haven't I?
DOROTHY : You have. Can't you help me, oh, great wizard?
WIZARD: Yes, yes, of course Ican! I knew I was forgetting something.
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It just so happens that I'm bound for Kansas myself, and there's
room in the balloon for one more.
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Oh, but... (Looks around.) Oh, my! Where is he? Has
anyone seen Toto?
LION: I thought he was with you.
SCARECROW: (To LION.) Let me do the thinking. (To DOROTHY.) When
did you last see him?
DOROTHY: It was right before the wizard gave you your brains. He
ran off, just over there. (Points and looks OFF LEFT. MUSIC CUE 1a:
"Flight of the Balloon-Underscore: MUSIC UNDER until indicated
for the following dialogue.)
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LION: (Tough.) You bet I have! Grrrrauff!
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simply EXITS RIGHT.])
DOROTHY:
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(Shouts.) Unleash the anchors! We set sail for Kansas
straightaway! (OZ/ANS untie the ropes.) Come, Dorothy!
DOROTHY: (Looks around STAGE LEFT feverish.) But I can't find Toto!
He just has to come with us!
WIZARD: (As OZ/ANS begin to move with the balloon towards OFF
RIGHT. [See PRODUCT/ON NOTES.]) No, no, Dorothy,you must come
now. The balloon is almost off the ground!
DOROTHY: (Shouts OFF LEFT.) Toto! Toto! Here, Toto!
TIN MAN: Dorothy, quick! The wizard's flying away without you!
OZIANS: (Ad-lib.) Farewell! Goodbye, Wizard! We'll miss you! (Etc.)
DOROTHY: (Looks RIGHT and runs towards the balloon.) No! Wait! You
can't leave!
WIZARD: (As he drifts OFF RIGHT in the balloon, followed OFF by the
OZ/ANS. See PRODUCTION NOTES.) It's too late, Dorothy. If I shall
ever meet you again, I promise to keep my promise. I'll help you
get back to Kansas! (He's OUT.)
WIZARD:
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(Watches as he goes,then stomps her foot.) Oh! Now, Ishall
never get back to Kansas! (MUSIC OUT.)
LION: It's okay, Dorothy. You can stay with us.
TIN MAN: That's a great idea. After all, it was very sad to think that
you might have to go.
SCARECROW: I had the very same thought. (MUSIC CUE lb: UWhite
1 DOROTHY:
1 DOROTHY :
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(Sings.) Wizards scare us
With tricks behind the screen.
Wizards prepare us
To face the unknown and the unseen.
Rabbit-Entrance." WHITE RABBIT runs ON LEFT, chased by TOTO,
barking.)
WHITE RABBIT: (Sings.) Oh, me! Oh, my!
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The seconds racing by!
Ticking, tocking,
It is shocking
Just how fast they fly!
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Oh, my! Oh, me!
How quickly I must flee!
Can't stop or wait or hesitate!
I'm late! I'm late! I'm late! (ALL watch as WHITE RABBIT races OFF
RIGHT. TOTO stops near DOROTHY and barks aer WHITE RABBIT.
MUSIC OUT.)
DOROTHY : Oh, Toto! There you are! (TOTO turns to DOROTHY, seems
happy to see her and puts his paws up to her.) No, Toto, no! Bad
dog! (TOTO cowers.) Don't you see? I'm very displeased with you.
I couldn't find you, and, now... now, the wizard is gone, and we'll
never get back to Aunt Em and Uncle Henry! (TOTO whimpers.
MUSIC CUE 2: usomehow, Someway.n Speaks.) Oh, Toto! I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to frighten you. We'll find our way home. Somehow,
some way ... (Sings.) I faced witches,
Monkeys flying in the air.
Life has its glitches,
But Iwill find the answer somewhere.
Journeys throw us
Many a twist and turn.
DOROTHY/SCARECROW/TIN MAN/LION: (Sing.)
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Journeys show us
What we need to know through lessons that we learn.
Somehow, some way, there is
A path that will lead us.
Somewhere, someday soon,
The next blue moon,
We'll find it there.
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DOROTHY/SCARECROW/TIN MAN/ LION: (Sing.)
Journeys take us
Places we fear to go.
Journeys make us
Relive past mistakes until we fin'lly know.
Somehow, some way, we will
Travel 'round that corner,
Somewhere, someplace
That you least expect.
It will be waiting there.
DOROTHY/ SCARECROW /TIN MAN/LION/OZIANS: (Sing.)
Somehow, some way, we will
Never stop our searching.
Something is the clue
To take us through
That open door ... (The following two lines are sung as a duet.)
DOROTHY/SCARECROW/OZIANS GROUP ONE: (Sing.)
That leads you home somehow ...
TIN MAN/ LION/OZIANS GROUP TWO: (Sing.)
That leads you home somehow, somewhere, someday ...
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ALL : (Sing.) Some way! (MUSIC OUT. Direct segue to MUSIC CUE 2a:
"The Tornado-Underscore.[NOTE: On CD, cue begins with HOWLING
WIND sound effects as the dialogue leads up to the music cue.] ALL
sway to the RIGHT and put their arms up as if to block a great wind
that s
i coming from STAGE LEFT.)
TIN MAN: Oh, Idon't like the sound of that!
SCARECROW : It's just a bit of a breeze.
LION: Yeah! Nothing to be afraid of! (Steps LEFT into the wind and
poses heroically.) See? (WIND HOWLS. ALL sway to the RIGHT
again.)
35 SCARECROW :
Perhaps I was mistaken. That's more than just a
breeze!
DOROTHY : I know those winds. We have them allthe time in Kansas,
and that 's what brought me here to begin with. You 're exactly right,
Scarecrow. It's not a breeze. It's a...
40 SCARECROW : Tornado!
TIN MAN: A tornado? Oh, no!
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1 LION:
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now, you'd be a fool to go head on with a tornado. Come on,
everyone. We must find shelter! And fast!
TIN MAN: No! It's too late! Look! It's here! (Points OFF LEFT. ALL look
OFF LEFT, then turn to run OFF RIGHT. But it's too late, the storm s
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SCARECROW: You are correct.
is about to pound right out of my chest! Maybe I should've asked
the wizard for some courage instead!
SCARECROW: Oh, my! All my stuffing isstartingto unstuff! (Desperately
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tries to keep his stuffing in. TOTO barks like mad.)
DOROTHY: Toto! Oh, don't be afraid, Toto! (TOTO'S bark turns to a
scared whimper as DOROTHY holds him close.)
LION: There 's nothingto be afraid of.We 'rejust flying is all! Flying high
up in the sky just like those flying monkeys!
TIN MAN: Oh, don't mention them! Not now! Those monkeys give me
the heebeejeebees! (DANCERS dance wildly about as the storm
LION: That's a part of the yellow brick road.
DOROTHY: It looks like all of Oz is caught up in this tornado! (WIND
HOWLS and the DANCERS dance wildly with their streamers. ALL
move with the wind, until LION, SCARECROW and TIN MAN begin to
be swept away.) No! Oh, no! Lion! Tin Man! Come back! (TIN MAN
and LION are each grabbed by a DANCER and pulled OFF RIGHT.
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Another DANCER grabs SCARECROW and begins to pull him OFF
LEFT.)
SCARECROW: (As he is being swept away.) Dorothy!
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DOROTHY: Scarecrow! Come back!
SCARECROW: It's no use, Dorothy! I can't fight this wind!
1s DOROTHY : (Anguished.) No!
SCARECROW: Oh, Dorothy! Goodbye, Dorothy! Don't worry. I shall find
you again... someday! (He is OFF.)
DOROTHY : (Sees that he is gone.) Oh, Scarecrow, not you, too!
(DOROTHY weeps. SOUND of wind recedes. Remaining DANCERS
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EXIT LEFT and RIGHT. LIGHTS return to NORMAL. DOROTHY and
TOTO stop spinning and appear to be in a free fall.[See PRODUCTION
NOTES.]) At least I still have you, Toto. (Looks around.) But look,
the storm has passed! We're not flying anymore! (TOTO barks.)
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grows stronger. The OTHERS continue to be tossed and turned
as the WIND HOWLS even more. ONE DANCER twirls ON with an
umbrella.)
30 DOROTHY: Would you look at that!
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SCARECROW: That's the umbrella that the Wicked Witch of the West
always carried!
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TIN MAN: Oh, don't mention her, either! She really gives me the
heebeejeebees! (ANOTHER DANCER twirls by with a strange hat.)
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Now, I know what that is!
wind again. WIND HOWLS.)
SCARECROW : Don't you dare, Lion. Even though you're full of courage
SCARECROW: Everyone stay calm! .
TIN MAN: Stay calm? But I'm afraid of heights! Oh, dear, my new heart
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1TIN MAN:
SCARECROW: Of course! Anyone would know what that is!
upon them. LIGHTS FLICKER and WIND HOWLS to simulate a storm.
DOROTHY, TOTO, SCARECROW, TIN MAN and LION move about the
stage as if they are spinning up into the funnel.) Oh, dear! It's got
us! It's got us! (MUSIC continues under the following dialogue until
indicated. DANCERS ENTER LEFT and RIGHT, simulating the tornado
by circling the stage. They twirl long, black streamers, creating the
look of swirling wind. [See PRODUCTION NOTES.])
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Oh,that's nothing! Come on, let me at it. (Turns LEFT to face the
Oh, my! What's that?
LION: I haven't a clue.
SCARECROW: I'm afraid Idon't know what that is either!
LION: Oh, now, don't tell me you're afraid of that little thing!
DOROTHY: Iknow what that is. That's a munchkin hat! All the munchkins
wear them! (TOTO barks at the hat as it passes. ANOTHER DANCER
spins by with a yellow brick.)
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No. We're certainly not flying, but we do seem to be... falling.
Oh, my! I can't even see the ground from here! We must have
flown up ever so high! (DANCER "floats" IN with a map and passes
DOROTHY. [See PRODUCTION NOTES.] TOTO barks at it as it passes.
Then, MORE DANCERS ENTER, floating by with books and a jar of
orange marmalade, passing DOROTHY, who looks at each of them
curiously.A DANCER with a book floats towards DOROTHY, she reads
as it opens and passes before her.) "Do cats eat bats? Do bats eat
cats?" (The DANCER with the book floats away and the DANCER
with the jar of orange marmalade floats by her.) Hmmm... (Reads
the label.) ...orange marmalade. (To TOTO.) I say, we must be well
past the great desert by now. One thing is for sure. I don't think
we're in Oz anymore , Toto. Perhaps, we're close to Kansas again.
Hmmm... I wonder what longitude and latitude we're at? (Yawns.)
Oh, we must be falling for miles and miles. How tiresome this is!
(Yawns again. DOROTHY appears almost ready to go to sleep. TOTO
barks at books and the jar as the DANCERS float around the stage
with them and then float OFF. DOROTHY and TOTO begin falling
faster. Suddenly, DOROTHY and TOTO kneel, as if they've landed at
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the end of their fall just as the MUSIC ENDS. DOROTHY brushes
herself off.) Well now, that was awfully, terribly, downright-(MUSIC
CUE 2b: white Rabbit-Entrance.n)
WHITE RABBIT: (Races ON LEFT. Looks at his watch. Sings.)
Oh, gosh! Oh, gee!
Someplace that I must be!
Hurry, scurry,
How I worry someone waits on me! (TOTO barks.)
DOROTHY: (Speaks to TOTO.) How strange! Why, that looks like the
very same rabbit we saw before inWHITE RABBIT: (Sings.) The queen! The shrew!
I must skedaddle doo!
She'll blow her top!
My head she'll chop!
I mustn't stop, so toodle-oo! (Races OFF LEFT as TOTO barks and
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chases him OFF. MUSIC OUT.)
DOROTHY: No! Come back! Come back, White Rabbit, come back!
(Races OFF LEFT after TOTO and WHITE RABBIT, as the LIGHTS
FADE to BLACK.)
End of Scene One
ACT ONE
Scene Two - The Live Garden
20 LIGHTS UP: CATERPILLAR sits on a mushroom STAGE RIGHT and
blows bubbles. FLOWERS stand LEFT,chatting with each other. (NOTE:
As the FLOWERS are, well. .. flowers, they would be firmly rooted in
the ground and should not move around the stage. They may stand or
kneel in place.) MUSIC CUE 2c: "White Rabbit-Entrance."
25 WHITE RABBIT: (Rushes ON LEFT. FLOWERS FREEZE. WHITE RABBIT
looks at his watch. Sings.) Oh, rats! Oh, drats!
My belfry's full of bats!
Carumba! Ay Chihuahua!
Far too many this and thats! (FLOWERS UNFREEZE and turn to
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watch as WHITE RABBIT races OFF RIGHT. MUSIC OUT.)
DOROTHY : (Runs ON LEFT with TOTO. FLOWERS FREEZE again.) White
Rabbit! Come back! (TOTO races RIGHT barking at WHITE RABBIT.
DOROTHY crosses and looks OFF.) Oh, fiddlesticks! We've lost
him! (FLOWERS UNFREEZE and giggle. DOROTHY turns.) What?
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Who's there? (Without moving, FLOWERS giggle again. DOROTHY
cannot tell who is giggling.) I recognize that laughter. Is that you,
little Munchkins? You can come out. It's me. Dorothy. Don't
you remember? I saved you from the Wicked Witch of the East!
(FLOWERS giggle, again without moving. TOTO crosses and sniffs at
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TIGER LILY'S feet.) Munchkins! Where are you? Come out, come
out, wherever you are! (Puts her hands on her hips.) Hmph! Well,
tey must not remember me. I guess it has been such a long time
since we left the Munchkin city. (Crosses to TOTO and FLOWERS.)
My! Look at how the flowers grow here! They're so big! And still
ever so lovely, aren't they, Toto? (Smells ROSE.)
ROSE: (UNFREEZES.) Hey, now! Back off, why don't ya?
DOROTHY: (Jumps back.) Oh, my! You can talk?
TULIP: Of course we can talk!
TIGER LILY: When there's anyone worth talking to.
ROSE: And there hardly ever is!
TULIP: Oh, now, Rose, don't be such a thorn! She's just a little girl.
DOROTHY: But you're so large!
ROSE: Who are you calling large?
TIGER LILY: Yeah. You're the one that's tiny!
DOROTHY: Oh. Iguess I hadn't thought of it that way.
TIGER LILY: Maybe you shouldn't always be thinking of yourself .
TULIP: You should try putting yourself in someone else's roots for a
change.
DOROTHY: That's very wise, thank you. But am I really only as high
as a flower?
TIGER LILY: (Offended.) Only as high as a flower!
ROSE: You better watch it, short stuff!
TULIP: If you don't have anything nice to say, then you shouldn't say
anything at all!
DOROTHY: Yes. My Aunt Em tells me that all the time. Oh, but Ididn't
mean to be unkind. I'm so sorry I disturbed you.
TULIP: Don't worry about it.
30
ROSE: Just keep your nose to yourself and you'll be fine!
TIGER LILY: (To TOTO.) And that goes for you, too, you little mutt!
(Shoos him away.) Shhshhshhshhshhh!
DOROTHY: (Offended.) Now,that isn't very nice at all! He didn't mean
anything by it, and neither did I! Come on, Toto. We must find a
way out of this place and back to Kansas. (Turns RIGHT to go.
35
CATERPILLAR stands up tall on the mushroom. DOROTHY stops,
startled.)
CATERPILLAR: Who are you?
DOROTHY: I'm Dorothy Gale. Of Kansas.
CATERPILLAR: Are you sure about that? (FLOWERS giggle. CATERPILLAR
40
blows bubbles.)
9
1 DOROTHY:
Yes. Why wouldn't I be?
CATERPILLAR : I'll ask the questions. Not you.
DOROTHY: Now, that hardly seems fair.
CATERPI LLAR: Why?
5 DOROTHY: For starters, I don't even know who you are. I should at
least know your name, since Igave you mine.
CATERPILLAR : (Blows bubbles.) Why?
DOROTHY: Because that's how a proper meeting goes.
CATERPILLAR: (Blows bubbles.) Why?
10 DOROTHY: Because it's polite.
CATERPILLAR: How so?
DOROTHY: (Frustrated .) Well,this is clearly useless! Come, Toto!
CATERPILLAR: Where are you going?
DOROTHY: To Kansas.
15 CATERPILLAR: Where is Kansas?
DOROTHY : I don't know, if you must know. But if you know, it would be
kind of you to tell me.
CATERPILLAR:
(Thinks about it briefly.) No. (FLOWERS giggle.
CATERPILLAR blows bubbles.)
20
DOROTHY: No as in you don't know, or no as in you won't tell me.
CATERPILLAR: Yes.
DOROTHY: (Frustrated.) Well, I've had enough of this.You're very rude,
and you ask too many questions. Come on, Toto. (Starts to go.)
CATERPILLAR: Come back! I've something important to say. (DOROTHY
25
stops and returns to CATERPILLAR, who first blows a very slow and
serious bubble. Then, recites .)
30
A tutor who tooted a flute
Tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to their tutor,
"Is it harder to toot or
To tutor two tooters to toot?"
DOROTHY: Is that all?
CATERPILLAR : No. (Blows bubbles. DOROTHY watches, confused and
curious. Without another word, CATERPILLAR turns to go.)
35
DOROTHY: Oh, this is simply absurd!
CATERPILLAR: (As he goes.) One side will make you grow. The other
will make you shrink. (EXITS RIGHT.)
DOROTHY: One side will make me grow? Hmmm ... I do seem to be
very small. Why, I'm only as high as a caterpillar. If we're ever to
10
1
5
get back to Kansas, I should want to be the proper size. But what
do you suppose he means, Toto? One side of what?
CATERPILLAR: (Steps back ON RIGHT.) Of the mushroom. (Blows a
bubble and is OFF again. FLOWERS giggle as DOROTHY inspects the
mushroom and the LIGHTS FADE to BLACK)
End of Scene Two
ACT ONE
Scene Three - The Tin Man's Arrest
LIGHTS UP: HUMPTY DUMPTY sits on a short wall, looking around,
twiddling his fingers and seeming quite bored.
TIN MAN: (ENTERS RIGHT, crosses to the UPSTAGE side of the wall,
and places his oil can on top of the wall.) Excuse me, sir. Have you
10
seen Dorothy? (HUMPTY DUMPTY looks the other way. TIN MAN
crosses to his other side to face him again.) I said, have you seen
Dorothy? (HUMPTY DUMPTY looks the other way.) Why! What a
curious creature! I say, he looks just like an egg!
HUMPTY DUMPTY: (Turns again.) Now, just who do you think you are,
15
calling me an egg?
TIN MAN: I'm sorry. Ididn't say you were an egg. Isaid you looked like
an egg. You are one, aren't you? After all,you are awfully oblong.
HUMPTY DUMPTY : (Offended.) How insulting!
TIN MAN: Oh, I didn't mean it that way. You mustn't get all boiled up
20
about it!
HUMPTY DUMPTY: Boiled? Now, you really are trying to pick a fight.
TIN MAN: No! No! I don't wish to fight you.
HUMPTY DUMPTY: Sounds like it to me.
TIN MAN: But it's true. I have a new heart. I'm a lover, not a fighter.
25
Here. Listen to this. (Recites.) "It is not enough to say we must not
wage war. It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it."
HUMPTY DUMPTY: (Laughs.) Now you're really cracking me up!
TIN MAN: (Changes the subject.) Please, sir, by any chance, have you
met a girl by the name of Dorothy?
30 HUMPTY DUMPTY: I don't know. What's your name?
TIN MAN : (Frustrated.) Well, I'm not a girl, now am I?
HUMPTY DUMPTY: How should I know that? I'm just an egg.
TIN MAN: Ithought you saidHUMPTY DUMPTY: I may call myself an egg if Iwish, but you may not.
35 TIN MAN: Very well. I'm a tin man. A tin woodsman , that is. You can
call me Tin Man.
11
1
HUMPTY DUMPTY: (Smiles and reaches out to shake hands.) Oh,well,
in that case, it's nice to meet you. I'm Humpty Duuuu... (Falls off
the wall on the UPSTAGE side.)
TIN MAN: (Looks down to where Humpty Dumpty fell behid the. wall.
5
Oh, dear! How awful! He's broken into a thousand little pieces.
(Calls out.) Help! Someone! Anyone, please! (KING OF HEARTS
1
ROOK : Yeah . I'd be careful correcting the King, if Iwere you.
5
ENTERS LEFT followed by PAWN and ROOK.)
10
hear me?
TIN MAN: (Confused, chooses his words carefully this time.) Yes... you
did hear me.
KING OF HEARTS : Excellent! It's a good thing that you heard me and
20
25
that Iheard you.Well then, after I heard you, Igathered all my men
and now we have arrived. What's the trouble?
TIN MAN: He's fallen!
KING OF HEARTS: Who's fallen?
TIN MAN: I didn't fully get his name. Humpty something.
ROOK: (Crosses behind the wall.) Back here, sire. We've got a man
down.
TIN MAN: An egg, that is.
PAWN : Looks like fowl play.
ROOK: Yeah. Looks like he was pushed over.
30
PAWN: A pretty easy thing to do.
KING OF HEARTS: So he was pushed over easy,then?
ROOK: That's what I'd say.
KING OF HEARTS: But was it planned?
PAWN: I'd definitely say a plot was hatched.
35 TIN MAN: Oh, no. It's not what it looks like. It was an accident.
KING OF HEARTS: Hmmm... you seem to know quite a bit about what
happened here, iron man.
TIN MAN: Tin. I'm a tin man.
KING OF HEARTS: We'll see what the Queen thinks about that. Men,
arrest him. (CHESS PIECES grab TIN MAN and start to pull him
LEFT.)
cry for help. You must mean to say that it was you.
TIN MAN: Yes. That is exactly what I meant to say.
KING OF HEARTS: Very well. It was Iwho heard your cries for help.
TIN MAN: And I'm so glad you did!
KING
OF HEARTS: No. You didn't. I did! Ijust said that. Didn't you
15
PAWN: No. (Points to the floor.) I mean, he's really walking on
eggshells. (To TIN MAN.) Step back, you're disturbing the crime
scene. (Pushes TIN MAN aside.)
TIN MAN: But there was no crime.
KING OF HEARTS: Are you the one who called for help?
TIN MAN: Yes. It was me.
10 KING OF HEARTS: Me? No! Of course, it wasn't me, you fool. Ididn't
PAWN: (Shocked.) Oooh! (NOTE: This could also be delivered as
"Ewww!" with a grossed out expression, whichever works best for
you.) You're walking on eggshells there, man.
TIN MAN: But I'm telling you, and Icross my heart, Ididn't do anything
wrong.
KING OF HEARTS: Cross your heart? Oh, you've done it now! How
dare you cross the Queen!
TIN MAN: Oh, but I never meant it that way.
KING OF HEARTS: Arrest him! Now! No one crosses the Queen and
keeps their head!
TIN MAN: No, no,that's not what l20 ROOK: Quiet! We have to read you your last rights.
PAWN: You are under arrest. You have the right to become headless.
Anything you say or do will be used against you. You have the right
to have a gurney present during executioning. If you cannot afford
a gurney, a shallow grave will be appointed for you.
25 KING OF HEARTS: Very well, then. Take him away.
TIN MAN: What kinds of rights are those?
ROOK: Like we said. Your last rights. (CHESS PIECES laugh.)
KING OF HEARTS: After all,the Queen is sure to have your head. Away
with him!
ao TIN MAN: Wait! No! Ididn't do anything! (CHESS PIECES pull him OFF
15
LEFT.)
KING OF HEARTS: (Peeks over the wall to look at HUMPTY DUMPTY
and reacts to the sight.) Ewww! (Notices the oil can on the wall.
Picks it up and looks at it curiously.) Hmmm... Iheard a story about
35
this once. Genie, come out! (Rubs the oil can and looks around
excitedly as if a genie will appear. When nothing happens, KING OF
HEARTS is disappointed. He rubs it again.) Open sesame! (Nothing.
Disappointed, he shrugs and tosses the oil can aside and EXITS
LEFT as the LIGHTS FADE to BLACK.)
End of Scene Three
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• PHOTOCOPY I NG THIS SCRIPT BREAK S FEDERAL COPYRIGHT LAWS
13
ACT ONE
Scene Four - The Battle
1 LIGHTS UP: TWEEDLE DEE and TWEEDLE OUM bounce around with
fists up, about to have their battle.
TWEEDLE DEE: Come on! Put 'em up! Put 'em up!
TWEEDLE OUM: Easy there, pal. You're likely to put out an eye!
5 TWEEDLE DEE: I'd like to put out your eye!
TWEEDLE OUM: Oh, yeah?
TWEEDLE DEE: Yeah!
TWEEDLE OUM: Oh, yeah?
TWEEDLE DEE: Yeah!
10 TWEEDLE OUM: Well, I'd like to see you try!
TWEEDLE DEE: Try? Try? I'll do more than try! I'll do it! As a wise man
once said, "Do or do not. There is no try."
TWEEDLE OUM: Oh, so you're a wise guy now, eh?
TWEEDLE DEE: Yeah!
15 TWEEDLE OUM: Oh, yeah?
TWEEDLE DEE: Yeah! (They continue to bounce around ready to fight.)
Give me your best shot.
TWEEDLE OUM: You go first. That way you'll at least have a fighting
chance.
20 TWEEDLE DEE: Ialready have the advantage.
TWEEDLE OUM: Oh, yeah? Prove it.
TWEEDLE DEE: I'm the oldest.
TWEEDLE OUM : Yeah? Well, I'm the fastest. (Runs around.)
TWEEDLE DEE: But I'm the smartest.
25 TWEEDLE OUM: Are not!
TWEEDLE DEE: Am so!
TWEEDLE OUM: Are not!
TWEEDLE DEE: Am so!
TWEEDLE OUM: Are so!
30 TWEEDLE DEE: Am not!
TWEEDLE OUM : (Laughs.) See? Ha! You 're not the smartest!
TWEEDLE DEE: Yeah, well I'm still better. I'm the toughest! (Shows
off his muse/es.)
TWEEDLE OUM : That's nothing. I'm the bounciest! (Hops around.)
35 TWEEDLE DEE: And you're the wimpiest.
TWEEDLE OUM: Am not.
14
1 TWEEDLE DEE:
Are so.
TWEEDLE OUM: Am not.
TWEEDLE DEE: Are not.
TWEEDLE OUM: Am so!
5 TWEEDLE DEE: (Laughs and holds up TWEEDLE DUM'S hand, like the
victor of a boxing match.) The wimpiest, by unanimous decision!
Now who's the smartest, eh?
TWEEDLE OUM: Not you!
TWEEDLE DEE: Is me.
10 TWEEDLE OUM: Not! Not! Not!
TWEEDLE DEE: Is! Is! Is! (They blow raspberries at one another and
continue to bounce around, ready to fight.)
LION: (ENTERS RIGHT.) Hey, now! What's going on here? (Breaks up
the fight by lifting TWEEDLE OUM up and carrying him over to one
15
side of the stage. TWEEDLE DEE follows, rushing toward them, but
LION lifts TWEEDLE DEE up and carries him to the other side of
the stage. TWEEDLE DEE and TWEEDLE OUM continue to bounce
around on opposite sides of the stage,like boxers ready to enter the
ring.) What's all the fighting for?
20
TWEEDLE OUM: (Points to TWEEDLE DEE.) He spoiled my nice new
rattle!
LION: You did?
25
TWEEDLE DEE: I did!
TWEEDLE OUM: He did! So we've agreed to have a battle. (MUSIC
CUE 3: "/ Ain 't a-Scared o' Nuttin '!".)
LION: (Speaks.) Very well. (Puts up his fists.) Who's first?
TWEEDLE DEE: (Speaks.) Not with you.
TWEEDLE OUM: (Speaks.) With each other!
LION: (Speaks.) I can settle this. The one of you that beats me wins
30
the battle. (Puts up h s fists.) Come on! Which one of you thinks
they can handle me? I ain't afraid. Why, I'm the king of the jungle,
and this jungle king ain't a-scared o' nuttin'.
(Sings.) When you see me comin',
Better clear the way!
35
Ready for a rough 'n' tumble
Rumble any day.
When I growl, the toughest
Crumble up like clay.
If you're fixin' up to mix it up
40
With me, you're gonna pay.
(Speaks in rhythm.) That's the score!
15
1TWEEDLE
No. You did! (TWEEDLE DEE and TWEEDLE OUM rush
for each other, but stop CENTER and bounce around again, neither
one brave enough to take the first blow. LION steps in between
again.)
1 TWEEDLE OUM:
DEE/TWEEDLE OUM: (Speak in rhythm.) That's the score!
LION: (Sings.) As my regal bellows roar! (Roars.)
5
10
15
20
I ain't a-scared o' nuttin'!
I'll turn a ram t' mutton.
A wildebeest or two, at least ,
I'll take 'em in stride!
Gorillas turn vanilla.
Godzilla got so scared that he cried.
No creature wants to climb in the ring,
Not while I'm swingin' .
That's why they call me the king!
When you hear me snarlin',
All had best beware.
My fisticuffs turn monsters
Into powder puffs, I swear.
They've all had enough
Before I'm even there.
They surrender at my splendor,
White flags in the air
As I roar!
TWEEDLE DEE/TWEEDLE OUM: (Speak in rhythm.) As he roars!
5
TWEEDLE OUM: (To TWEEDLE DEE.) You haven't seen the last of me
pal!
TWEEDLE DEE: Contrary-wise! It's you that should watch your back,
'cause I'm always watching!
10
15
20
25
TWEEDLE DEE/TWEEDLE OUM: (Sing.) No pack o' wild hyenas
30
Were laughin' when they've seen him inhale...
LION: (Sings.) And start to bellow.
Every fella starts turnin' yella
Before Itake my first swing.
30
TWEEDLE DEE/TWEEDLE OUM: (Sing.)
LION/TWEEDLE DEE/TWEEDLE OUM: (Sing.)
40
You'll hear that regal roar sing.
LION: (Sing.) There 's no denyin' why they call me the king!
LION/TWEEDLE DEE/TWEEDLE OUM: (Sing.) Oh, yeah! (MUSIC OUT.)
LION: Okay, now which one of you wants to fight me?
TWEEDLE OUM: He said he doesn't want to fight you.
TWEEDLE DEE: Ididn't say that. You did.
RIPT BREAKS FEDERAL COPYRIGHT LAWS
16
event of a knockdown, the one still standing will be directed to a
neutral corner. And no blows below the belt. Any questions?
TWEEDLE DEE: (Remembers .) Yeah. Who 's Dorothy?
LION: She's my friend. I'm trying to help her get back to Kansas. (To
TWEEDLE OUM.) How about you? Any questions?
TWEEDLE OUM: Yeah. Why are we fighting again?
LION: Because that's what you wanted in the first place.
TWEEDLE OUM: Oh, yeah. A battle! (Takes fighting stance again.
TWEEDLE DEE does as we/I.)
LION: All right. Break! (TWEEDLE DEE and TWEEDLE OUM bounce
around as LION watches. Neither takes a swing at the other. LION
watches, but quickly becomes exasperated with them and EXITS
LEFT as the LIGHTS FADE to BLACK.)
End of Scene Four
He starts the jungle air ringing.
35
TWEEDLE DEE/TWEEDLE OUM: (Point to one another.) What he said!
LION: Fine. We'll have to have a battle to see who's right.
TWEEDLE DEE: Ooh! A battle!
LION: (Referees.) All right, when Isay break, Iwant a clean fight. In the
LION: (Sings.) No crocodile is smilin'
While I'm holdin' his tail.
LION: Enough! (Separates them.) Now, have either of you seen Dorothy?
TWEEDLE OUM: Negatory!
TWEEDLE DEE: Suppositive!
LION: Well,which is it?
TWEEDLE OUM: A battle!
LION: (Sings.) As I pump my chest and roar! (Tries to roar, but it comes
out as a whimper.) Iain't a-scared o' nuttin'!
TWEEDLE DEE/TWEEDLE OUM: (Sing.) He ain't a-scared o' nuttin'!
25
LION: All right, all right, all right! Enough of this nonsense!
35
ACT ONE
Scene Five - The Good Witch
MUSIC CUE 3a: "White Rabbit-Entrance." LIGHTS UP: WHITE RABBIT
races ON RIGHT.
WHITE RABBIT: (Sings.) Oh, darn! Oh, dear!
Behind again, I fear!
I'm so busy, in a tizzy,
Dizzy ear to ear!
17
,
1
5
Oh, boom! Oh, blast!
My window 's closing fast!
No time to waste.
I must make haste
Before it's in the past!
1 ALICE:
Time 's expiring!
I'm perspiring
At this wicked pace!
10
15
I'm belated
And outdated
In this hectic race!
10
Oh, faugh! Oh, fie!
I'm just about to cry!
I hate this rate!
I'm always late!
So shameful, I could die! (Races OFF LEFT. ALICE hurries ON RIGHT.
MUSIC OUT.)
20
25
30
35
(Curtsies.) And I'm Alice .
GLINDA: Are you a good witch or a bad witch?
ALICE: I'm no witch at all!
GLINDA: Oh. Then, what are you? (MUSIC CUE 4: "I'm Just a Girl.n)
5 ALICE: (Speaks.) That's a curious question.
ALICE : (Speaks.) White Rabbit! White Rabbit! Oh! (Huffs.) It seems
I'll never catch up with him! If only there were someone here who
could help me! (Stomps.)
GLINDA : (ENTERS LEFT.) Dorothy? Is that you?
ALICE: Me?
GLINDA: Oh, you look very different.
ALICE: I'm sorry?
GLINDA: I'm looking for Dorothy. You're her, aren't you?
ALICE : No. At least , I don't think I am.
GLINDA: Oh, well, have you seen her?
ALICE: Who?
GLINDA: Dorothy. I'm hoping to find her so I can help her get back to
Kansas.
ALICE: Kansas?
GLINDA: Yes. It's her home.
ALICE: Is that near London?
GLINDA: No. It's somewhere below the rainbow... way down low.
ALICE: (Shrugs.) Never heard of it.
GLINDA: You haven't seen her, have you?
ALICE: No. But I'll tell her you 're looking for her if I do. What's your
name?
GLINDA: I'm Glinda, the good witch of the north.
18
15
GLINDA: (Speaks.) Well, you certainly don't look like a winged monkey.
ALICE : (Speaks.) I should hope not.
GLINDA: (Speaks.) And you're much too tall to be a Munchkin.
ALICE: (Speaks.) Thank you.
GLINDA: (Speaks.) So what are you then?
ALICE: (Speaks.) Well. ..
(Sings.) I'mjust a girl who 's confused and quite befuddled.
My brain is muddled with turmoil and shock.
Don't know if I'm dreaming,
Seemingly awake,
Aching to turn back the clock.
I'm just a girl, typical and ordinary,
On edge and wary of what's to come next.
Jabberwock is lurking,
20
Smirking Cheshire cat.
Let's just say, a girl perplexed.
And you say you're a witch .
Witches are fictitious.
Yet, here you are in the flesh. (ALICE touches her tentatively.)
25
I see a magic wand.
I'm not superstitious.
Could this be a spell?
It 's hard for me to tell.
I can't seem to make things mesh.
30 GLINDA : (Sings.) You're just a girl with a wild imagination.
Your trepidation can get in your way.
Trust in what you know
To get where you must go
So you won't be led astray.
35 ALICE: (Sings.) This time Ifeel like
I'm in a different story.
GLINDA: (Sings.) Some stories are quite the san'le.
ALICE: (Sings.) Feel like I don't belong.
GLINDA : (Sings.) Find the allegory.
40 ALICE: (Sings.) Will the truth be told?
19
1 GLINDA:
1
(Sings.) Just let it all unfold.
ALICE/GLINDA: (Sing.) Same story with a diff'rent name.
ALICE : (Sings.) I'm just a girl who no longer trusts her senses.
GLINDA: (Sings.) You're just a girl out of her comfort zone.
5 ALICE: (Sings.) Pushed right to the edge.
GLINDA : (Sings.) So leap right off the ledge.
Flap your arms until you've flown.
ALICE/GLINDA: (Sing.) Was this a stroke of fate,
Our paths intersecting,
10
Directing us someplace new?
Helping us navigate,
Help us keep connecting
Where we're meant to go
And what we're meant to do.
15
We 'll give this Wonderland a whirl.
ALICE: (Sings.) You're just a witch.
GLINDA: (Sings.) You're just a girl. (Speaks.) I guess I can see that
now. But what type of girl are you?
ALICE: (Speaks.) A human one.
20 GLINDA: (Speaks.) Oh! You're a meat person! How lovely! (MUSIC OUT)
ALICE: A meat person?
GLINDA: Why, yes! That's what we call all the humans in Oz. Dorothy
is a meat person, too!
ALICE : Is that where Iam then? Am I in the land of Oz?
25 GLINDA: Oh, no. This isn't Oz. Oz is the land that I call home, and Iam
certain that this isn't it. I'm not sure where this place is exactly,
but it's very lovely.
ALICE : Idisagree. It's been nothing but unpleasantness since I came
here.Why, in only a matter of hours, I've been shrunk to the size of
a snail and grown to the size of a great tree! I've almost drowned
30
in my own tears and ran a useless caucus race with a bunch of
crazy birds! This is a miserable place, if I may say!
GLINDA: Oh, but it's lovely!
ALICE : Speak for yourself! But, say, if you're a witch, Idon't suppose
35
you could help me get home, could you?
GLINDA : Well, no, I cannot. For you do not have the proper footwear.
ALICE : (Looks at her shoes.) My shoes are lovely, thank you!
GLINDA: No. I mean you're not wearing the silver slippers. Dorothy
has them, only she doesn't know how they work . That's why I'm
20
• PHOT OCOPYING THIS SCRIPT BREAKS FED ERAL COPY RIGHT LAWS
following her. Iwish to find her and tell her how the silver slippers
can help her get home.
ALICE: Well, can't you help me somehow? Perhaps you have an extra
pair?
5
10
GLINDA : As I said before, I cannot help. However, there may be
someone here who can help you. He has a magical flying machine
that can take him anywhere, and Ido believe he may be lost in this
Wonderland himself.
ALICE : And just who might that be?
GLINDA : Why, the wonderful Wizard of Oz, of course!
ALICE: How shall I find him?
GLINDA : It's simple. You just ... follow the yellow brick road.
ALICE: (Looks around.) What yellow brick road?
15
20
GLINDA : (Looks around, but sees that thereis no yellow brick road.)
Hmmm... yes. that does seem to be a problem. Pity! Well,then...
your guess is as good as mine. (Shrugs.) Farewell! (EXITS RIGHT.)
ALICE: No! Wait! I've so many more questions to ask you! (Watches
her go.) Hmph! How strange. (Looks herself over.) I wonder if Ireally
look like a witch to her? Oh, Ihope not! When Ido get home, I'll be
certain never to gaze into a looking glass again! (Runs OFF LEFT.
LIGHTS FADE to BLACK .)
End of Scene Five
25
30
35
ACT ONE
Scene Six - A Mad Tea Party
LIGHTS UP: MAD HADER and MARCH HARE are having their tea party,
seated at one end of a long table with many place settings for tea, a
teapot and a pocket watch in a butter dish. DORMOUSE sleeps nearby.
MAD HATTER : (Recites.) 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
MARCH HARE: (Claps.) Spoken well, Hatter. But I wonder... Why
should the borogoves be so mimsy? If I were a borogove, I would
be quite unmimsy!
MAD HATTER : Not if there were a Jabberwock close by. In that case,
I'd wager you'd be consumed with mimsy!
21
1 MARCH HARE: That's overstating it.Mimsy-ness is a wild overreaction,
even for a borogove!
DORMOUSE: (Wakes, but only a little.) That's just what I would say.
(Goes back to sleep.)
SCARECROW : (ENTERS LEFT.) Aha! I thought I heard voices over here.
5
May Ijoin you?
MARCH HARE/MAD HATTER: No room! No room!
SCARECROW : You're wrong. Anyone could see that there's plenty of
room here. (Sits.) See?
10 MAD HATTER: (Smiles and gives SCARECROW a strange look.) Your
straw wants stuffing.
SCARECROW : You may be right about that after such a terrible
storm... (Checks and stuffs his straw.) ...but I must say, that's an
awfully odd way to greet a guest.
15
MARCH HARE: You aren't a guest. You weren't invited.
MAD HATTER: And, besides, you can't be a guest because we're all
out of butter. The hare used it all up fixing my watch! (Holds up a
pocket watch that's dripping with butter.)
20
MARCH HARE: It was the best butter!
MAD HATTER: But it didn't provide the fix, and it hasn't helped us find
Time, now, has it?
MARCH HARE: No.
MAD HATTER: We must find Time so we can set things straight, but
25
30
35
40
how are we ever to find Time when it's always tea time? It's always
six o'clock! (Indicates SCARECROW. ) I don't suppose this fellow's
seen him.
SCARECROW : No. I'm afraid I haven't. But perhaps you could help
me. Have you seen a girl?
MARCH HARE: Never once.
SCARECROW : Now, that's completely improbable. Statistically
speaking, even at your age, the odds are that you have at least
seen one girl in your lifetime. Probably several.
MARCH HARE: No. Not a one.
SCARECROW: (To MAD HATTER.) But I'm looking for a young girl. My
friend. Her name is Dorothy. Have you seen her?
MAD HATTER: (Excited.) What an excellent riddle! Ihave one, too! Why
is a raven like a writing desk?
SCARECROW: That's easy. Poe wrote on both.
MAD HATTER : Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. That's three wrongs, which is
wronger than two rights. Here, I have another.
22
You can't fool me. (Points to his head.) This noggin' is
stuffed full of brains now. Go ahead. Do your worst.
MAD HATTER: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a
woodchuc k could chuck wood?
5 SCARECROW: The answer is simple. A woodchuck would chuck as
much wood as a wood chuck could chuck, if a wood chuck could
chuck wood.
MAD HATTER: Wrong again. But I'll give you one more chance. Why
did the chicken cross the road?
10 SCARECROW : To prove he was not chicken.
MAD HATTER: Strike three!
DORMOUSE : (Wakes a little and sings, swinging his tea cup wildly.) Buy
me some peanuts and Crack-erjack!
I don't care if I never get back! (Goes back to sleep.)
15 SCARECROW: Well, this is getting me nowhere. (Stands.) I must find
Dorothy as soon as possible. So I'll just be on my way.
MARCH HARE: On your way? Where?
SCARECROW : To find Dorothy.
MARCH HARE: Oh! An adventure! That's an excellent idea!
20 MAD HATTER: I'lljust grab my hat. (Replaces the hat on his head with
another from under the table. MUSIC CUE 5: "A Mad Adventure.")
SCARECROW: (Speaks.) Oh, no! You don't have to come.
MARCH HARE: (Speaks.) Nonsense! Dormouse shall join us. (Pours
1 SCARECROW :
the last drops of tea from the teapot onto DORMOUSE 'S head.)
25
DORMOUSE: (Wakes, but only a little. Defensively, speaks.) I wasn't
asleep. I heard every word.
MAD HATTER : (Speaks.) We 're going on an adventure. Come quick, or
else you 'll fall asleep again.
DORMOUSE: (Speaks.) Very well.
30
35
40
MAD HATTER : (Sings.) Why, I'm so thrilled!
A dream fulfilled to risk a mad adventure!
Fiddle-ee diddle-ee doh!
Yippee-a! Bravissimo!
MARCH HARE: (Grabs a travelling bag from under the table and slings
it over hs
i shoulder. Sings.) A howdy-do!
My wacky sack upon my back for this adventure!
MAD HATTER/ MARCH HARE: (Sing.) Over, under, where, Iwonder?
I say tally ho!
SCARECROW : (Sings.) This matter's very serious.
Poor Dorothy's been lost.
23
1
5
Her whereabouts, mysterious, I'll find her at all cost.
We both were tossed about by a tornado in the sky.
Deposited in this strange place Ican't identify.
MAD HATTER/MARCH HARE: (Sing.) We'll be your guide.
We 're qualified to lead a mad adventure!
Fiddle-ee, diddle-ee die! (Hold up teacups and toast.)
Here's to Dorothy in your eye!
DORMOUSE: (Sings.) I'm coming, too!
To-wit, to-woo upon this mad adventure!
10 MAD HATTER/MARCH HARE/DORMOUSE:
15
20
(Sing.)
Don't be concerned.
No stone unturned,
We'll find her by and by.
SCARECROW : (Sings.) My plan's for Hatter to fan out
And scour the countryside.
Dormouse will sniff out every nook
And cranny she might hide.
March Hare will hop upon the top
To find the farthest view.
And Iwill strain my clever brain
To think what next to do! (The THREE look at SCARECROW curiously,
then at each other. With wild eyes and wicked smiles, they ignore
him and continue.)
MAD HATTER/MARCH HARE/DORMOUSE : (Sing.)
2s
30
35
We've all been called upon
To wander on this mad adventure!
Fiddle-ee diddle-ee dum! (Hold up teacups and toast.)
Drink a toast, a rum-tum-tum! (Clink their teacups together.)
With each surprise,
We'll improvise upon this mad adventure.
Plans are made.
Our escapade is waiting.
Here we come!
SCARECROW : (At wits end.About to pull his straw out, speaks.) Oh, no.
1
reluctantly decides, "What's the use?" and joins in the singing and
dancing.)
5
10
End of Scene Six
ACT ONE
Scene Seven - The Stolen Tarts
15 LIGHTS UP: A red table is CENTER. MUSIC CUE 5a: "White Rabbit
Entrance." FISH FOOTMAN ENTERS LEFT with a tray of tarts. He places
it on the table and EXITS RIGHT. LION ENTERS LEFT, looks around,
and spots the tarts. He nearly goes for them but a noise is heard OFF
RIGHT. LION reacts to the sound and crouches beneath the table to
20 observe. WHITE RABBIT runs ON RIGHT.
WHITE RABBIT: (Sings.) Oh, flip! Oh, flap!
Why did Itake a nap?
A hopeless chap
Who's lost his map,
25
My mind's about to snap! (Runs OFF LEFT. MUSIC OUT.)
LION: (Jumps up.) What an odd little rabbit! I wonder where he's off
to so fast and if he might be able to help me find Dorothy. (Starts
after WHITE RABBIT, but hears something OFF RIGHT. LION quickly
ducks back under the table.)
30
MAD HATTER/MARCH HARE/DORMOUSE: (Sing.)
40
24
• PHOTOCOPYING THIS SCRIPT BREAKS FEDERAL COPYRIGHT LAWS
ALL: (Sing.) Dosey-doe!
We're dancing while we're chancing an adventure!
Hi-hi-hey! An adventure holiday!
Off we fly to search and seek and root about and spy!
Why, nothing's more exciting or inviting I must say.
We shall not get lost or led astray!
We're on our way! (MAD HATTER, MARCH HARE and DORMOUSE
begin to EXIT RIGHT.)
(A shout.) We're on our way! (They're OUT. MUSIC OUT. SCARECROW
watches them go,scratches his head and follows them OFF as the
LIGHTS FADE to BLACK.)
(MAD HATTER, MARCH HARE and DORMOUSE begin wildly dancing
around, while SCARECROW looks on dumbfounded.)
We'll have such fun!
We'll skip and run right to this mad adventure!
Hi-hi-ho! Off through Wonderland we go!
What a show!
We'll trek and risk our neck on this adventure!
Mad about, we'll gad about with braggadocio! (SCARECROW
35
KNAVE OF HEARTS: (Sneaks ON RIGHT, holding a bag over his shoulder.
He looks around for anyone who might be watching, but does not
spot LION. KNAVE goes straight for the tarts. LION peeks out and
watches, still unnoticed.) Oh, goody good good! There's no one
here! Not a single soul! And so no one to see me! Mmmm! Ithink
Ishall have a try. (Sticks in his thumb.) Ooh! A plum! (Tastes it, then
smiles.) Mmmm! Delicious! No one makes tarts like the Queen of
Hearts! (Begins putting tarts into his bag.)
ALICE: (ENTERS LEFT as he puts the last tarts away.) Hello there.
Could you help me?
25
(Surprised, he hides the last tart behind his back.)
What? No! No! You can't be here right now!
ALICE: Why not? I've as much right as you. What are you hiding there?
KNAVE OF HEARTS: Nothing! Nothing at all! (ALICE tries to look, but
KNAVE OF HEARTS turns so the tart remains hidden.)
ALICE: I don't believe you. Show me your hands.
KNAVE OF HEARTS : Very well . (Show the tart.) There you have it. I've
taken the Queen's tarts. (Kneels, bows his head low and grabs
ALICE'S hands.) Please don't tell on me.
ALICE: Now, why shouldn't I? If you've knowingly done something
wrong, you should face the consequences.
KNAVE OF HEARTS: (Laughs.) I won't have to. I've tricked you, see?
1 KNAVE OF HEARTS:
5
10
(Points to her hands, which now have red tart smeared on them.
[See PRODUCTION NOTES.]) Now, the Queen is sure to have your
15
head and not mine!
ALICE: Oh! You dishonest man!
KNAVE OF HEARTS: (Proud.) That is why they call me the Knave of
Hearts!
20
25
30
35
ALICE: Will the Queen really have my head?
KNAVE OF HEARTS : It's an absolute certainty. The Queen of Hearts
is very temperamental.
ALICE: No. I'll just tell her the truth, and she'll never believe you.
KNAVE OF HEARTS: Oh, I think she will. You're just a strange little girl,
and it's your word against mine.As one of her faithful servants, I'm
sure the Queen will side with me. And, besides, you'll be caught
red-handed! (Laughs and runs OFF LEFT.)
ALICE: (Screams and stomps.) Ooh!
LION: (Emerging from under table.) Oh, what a crook!
ALICE: (Sees LION and screams.) Ah!
LION: Oh, no, miss. Don't be afraid. Iwon't hurt you.
ALICE: How can I be sure?
LION: I want to help you. I saw what he did and how he tricked you.
Don't worry, miss. I'll defend your honor! But I best catch him
before he gets away! (Turns LEFT and roars.) Grrr! (Leaps OFF LEFT
in pursuit of KNAVE OF HEARTS.)
ALICE: What a surprise! That's the first kind and helpful creature I've
met in this place, and it's a great big lion! (Looks at her hands.
MUSIC CUE 6: "Who Stole the Tarts?" FISH FOOTMAN ENTERS
RIGHT, crosses to the table and quickly sees that the tarts are gone.)
(Sings.) The tarts! The tarts!
Who stole the tarts?
The Queen will have my head for this!
The filcher must confess!
1 FISH FOOTMAN:
The tarts! The tarts!
Who stole the tarts? (Holds his head.)
I've grown very fond of this.
I won't be one head less!
ALICE: (Speaks.) It wasn't me. I...
10 FISH FOOTMAN: (Speaks.) Who are you?
ALICE: (Speaks.) My name is Alice.
FISH FOOTMAN: (Speaks.) Where are the queen's tarts?
ALICE: (Speaks.) Someone took them.
FISH FOOTMAN: (Speaks.) I can see that! (Sings.)
15
The tarts! The tarts!
You stole the tarts!
ALICE: (Speaks.) No!
5
FISH FOOTMAN: (Sings.) You'd best reveal their whereabouts .
20
25
ALICE: (Speaks.) No! I've told you it wasn't me. I can't tell you where
30
35
40
26
The punishment's severe!
ALICE: (Sings.) Oh, dear! The tarts!
Kind sir, let me be clear.
I saw someone snatch them up
Then quickly disappear. (Speaks.) Ican't tell you where they are.
FISH FOOTMAN: (Speaks.) Very well. I don't have time for games
today, you foolish little girl. I've so many invitations to deliver for
the queen, and now I've new tarts to make. Guards! Guards! Come
quick!
they are because I don't know. Someone's run off with them.
FISH FOOTMAN: (Sings.) The Queen is quite short-tempered,
Won't tolerate mistakes.
She's given me an ulcer,
And my belly aches!
Ican't take her much longer.
I'm a total mess!
Unless I do things perfectly,
Well, you can guess!
Now, please, the tarts! (Kneels.)
I'm begging on my knees!
Her sweet tooth is the only thing
That ever will appease!
27
1 ALICE:
(Sings.) I'm not a thie!
Igive my solemn vow!
I don't even care for tarts!
There 's no way, no how! (KNIGHT ENTERS LEFT.)
5
1 LION:
(ENTERS LEFT, dragging ON KNAVE OF HEARTS, who still has a
satchel or bag.) Let her go!
KNAVE OF HEARTS: Let me go! (Struggles.)
FISH FOOTMAN: (Points at ALICE. Speaks.) Arrest her!
KNIGHT: (Speaks.) Why?
5
FISH FOOTMAN: (Speaks.) She stole the queen's tarts!
FISH FOOTMAN: (To LION.) The proof is against her.
ALICE : (Speaks.) I didn't.
LION: No, it isn't. Look in his bag. (Takes the bag from KNAVE OF
HEARTS and tosses it to FISH FOOTMAN.)
FISH FOOTMAN: (Speaks.) She did. Just look at her hands. (KNIGHT
10
grabs ALICE 'S hands and opens them.) See?
FISH FOOTMAN : (Looks inside the bag, then dumps out its contents,
which happens to be a bunch of colorful charts. Line charts, bar
charts, pie charts, etc. Holds them up.) These aren't tarts! These
are charts. (Holds up the pie chart.)
10
KNIGHT: (Speaks.) We've caught you red-handed.
ALICE: (Speaks.) No. That was a trick.
KNIGHT: (Arrests her. Speaks.) Sorry, but the proof is against you. I'll
just read you your last rights.
ALICE : (Speaks.) No. ft was the Knave! (Sings.)
He grabbed my hands
And smeared them red,
Played his trick, then ran off quick!
It's him you want instead!
20
A life's worth more than pastry, the Queen will surely see.
We'll have a chat, she'll get that and she'll set me free.
15
25
30
FISH FOOTMAN/KNIGHT: (Sing.) You 're so na·ve.
You won't believe how heads will fly!
Let it be yours this 'time for I'm too young to die!
The tarts are gone. ·
Someone must pay.
The Queen will have revenge.
We won't survive another day!
ALICE : (Sings.) It's just not right.
(Speaks. A plea.) I swear I'm innocent!
15
LION: He must have switched the bags. Listen, I saw the whole thing.
He was here, and he stole the tarts! (Indicates ALICE.) She was
just an innocent witness!
ALICE : It's true!
25
30
40
KNIGHT: (Ignores her.) You are under arrest. You have the right to
become headless. Anything you do28
• PHOTOCOPYING THIS SCRIPT BREAKS FEDERAL COPY RIGHT LAWS
KNIGHT: As there is no clear culprit, and you both seem to be at fault,
we'll let the Queen decide your fate. Come! You'll both make your
case before the Queen. (Begins to lead ALICE away. LION roars and
pounces. A struggle ensues during which ALICE breaks free.)
LION: (To ALICE.) Quick! Run! I'll be right behind you! (ALICE runs OFF
LEFT. LION continues to struggle with KNIGHT as the LIGHTS FADE
to BLACK .)
End of Scene Seven
ACT ONE
Scene Eight - Painting the Roses Red
FISH FOOTMAN/KNIGHT: (Sing.) Fairness isn't part of justice
Here in Wonderland!
FISH FOOTMAN: (Speaks to KNIGHT.) Now! Enough of this foolishness!
Arrest her! (MUSIC OUT.)
KNAVE OF HEARTS: That's my pie chart! I collect them. (Proud.) Why,
there are even some who call me the Knave of Charts! (Looks
around at the OTHERS, who look at him, curious.) What? I like
statistics.
LION: (To KNAVE OF HEARTS.) You hid them! That's it! He must have
hidden the tarts.
20 FISH FOOTMAN: Where's the proof?
FISH FOOTMAN/KNIGHT: (Sing.) She won't care.
One head for tarts, and she will be content.
ALICE: (Sings.) This is so unfair!
Someone must make you understand!
35
LION: (Smacks KNAVE OF HEARTS on the head.) Quiet, you! (TO
KNIGHT.) She didn't do anything.
ALICE : Thank you, brave lion. (To FISH FOOTMAN.) See?
35
LIGHTS UP: The Queen's rose garden. The short wall is now turned to
the side decorated to be a hedge of white and red roses. QUEEN OF
HEARTS watches as CARDS paint the white roses red.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Watch what you're doing, Five! You're dripping
paint everywhere !
FIVE: Sorry, Your Highness. It's not my fault. Seven watered down the
paint.
29
1 QUEEN
OF HEARTS: What's that?!
OF HEARTS: (As CARDS lead him away.) No! You must hear
me out, Your Majesty! It was the girl, not me. She was caught redhanded! (CARDS pull him OFF LEFT.)
1 KNAVE
SEVEN: That's right, Five. Just lay the blame on others..
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Is it true that you watered down the paint?
SEVEN: Yes, Your Majesty, but only so we'd have enough to paint all
5
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (To KNIGHT and FISH FOOTMAN.) What girl?
of the roses red.
5
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Off with your heads!
FISH FOOTMAN: Her name is Alice, Your Majesty.
FIVE: What? Me, too?
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Yes, you! I asked you to paint the roses red, not
to paint the ground red! Off with your heads!
10 KNIGHT: (ENTERS RIGHT with KNAVE OF HEARTS, whose hands are
tied together, and FISH FOOTMAN. Kneels.) Your Majesty.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: What's going on here? Why is my knave tied up?
KNIGHT: There is suspicion that a certain someone .has committed a
great crime against you, my Queen.
15 QUEEN OF HEARTS: But who would dare? Tell me. What happened?
(MUSIC CUE 6a: "Who Stole the Tarts?-Reprise.")
FISH FOOTMAN: (Speaks.) Someone has stolen your tarts.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Speaks.) The tarts?!
FISH FOOTMAN: (Speaks.) The tarts.
20 QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Sings.) The tarts (Speaks.) are gone?! Who stole
the tarts? (Sings.) Iwill have revenge.
They won't survive another day!
Who was this fiend?
I'll make them pay!
25
I will have one head for tarts!
They mustn't get away!
ALL: (Except QUEEN OF HEARTS, sing.) Though it seems unfair,
Someone must make them understand!
(ALL including QUEEN OF HEARTS, sing.)
30
Fairness isn't part of justice here in Wonderland!
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Speaks.) Now tell me before I have all of your
heads! Who stole the tarts? (MUSIC OUT.)
KNIGHT: (Points to the KNAVE OF HEARTS.) There's a strong possibility
he did.
35 QUEEN OF HEARTS:, The Knave of Hearts stole the Queen's tarts?
KNIGHT: Yes, Your Majesty.
KNAVE OF HEARTS: But Ididn't. You've no proof.
KNIGHT: Someone saw him.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Five! Sevenl (FIVE and SEVEN cross to her.) Take
40
him away. (CARDS grab the KNAVE OF HEARTS.) To the dungeons!
30
KNIGHT: There was a girl there. It's possible she stole the tarts.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Who?
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Where is she? (KNIGHT and FISH FOOTMAN look
10
at one another, but keep mum. Builds to a shout.) I said... "Where
is she?!"
KNIGHT: She got away.
FISH FOOTMAN: We couldn't help it, Your Majesty.
KNIGHT: She had a giant lion protecting her.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: I don't care if there was a fire-breathing squid
15
protecting her. Find her! At once! I must have my tarts and if they
are missing, then someone's head shall roll! Now go!
KNIGHT/FISH FOOTMAN: (Bow and start to go.) Yes, Your Majesty.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Wait! Not you!
KNIGHT/FISH FOOTMAN: Me?
20
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (To KNIGHT.) No, not you. You go! Find the girl!
Now!
KNIGHT: (Kneels quickly.) Yes, my Queen. (Rushes OFF RIGHT.)
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (To FISH FOOTMAN.) You. I want this girl found
immediately. Put some wanted posters up. Iwant them everywhere.
25
FISH FOOTMAN: But I've still all the invitations to deliver.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Then do both at the same time.
FISH FOOTMAN: (Kneels quickly.) As you wish, my Queen. (Rushes
OFF RIGHT.)
Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Five and Seven.
(Speaks to them as if they are still there.) I want all of these roses
painted before the guests arrive, and if so much as a drop is spilled
upon the ground, I shall have both of your heads. Understood?
(Waits then looks around and notices they've gone.) Where'd they
go? These roses need painting! Off with their heads! Off with their
heads, I say!
QUEEN OF HEARTS:
30
35
KING OF HEARTS: (ENTERS LEFT with CHESS PIECES and TIN MAN.
40
[NOTE: If possible, they should appear wet.}) There you are, my
Queen. I see you're hard at work, keeping the executioner's
schedule full as always. (FIVE and SEVEN ENTER UP LEFT and, not
wishing to interrupt or anger QUEEN OF HEARTS, quietly begin to
paint the roses once more.)
31
1 QUEEN
OF HEARTS: Good! You've returned! Why are you all wet?
Yes. He made me. After my ax was enchanted and chopped
off all of my parts, he made me new parts.
KING OF HEARTS: Then off with the tinsmith's head!
QUEEN OF HEARTS : No! I proclaim the sentences around here.
s
Besides,this man could prove useful to us. What can you do?
TIN MAN: Well, the wizard gave me a new heart. Now, I can feel love
and joy and empathy and laughter!
1 TIN MAN:
KING OF HEARTS: We ran into a rainstorm on the way back.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Ew! (Holds her nose and fans the air.) You smell
like a soggy poodle! Step away! Step away!
(Does so.) But I've good news, my dearest. I've
brought you a present.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Oh, how thoughtful. What is it? (Excited.) Is it
shiny?
KING OF HEARTS: Yes.
10 QUEEN OF HEARTS: Ooh! Is it really big?
KING OF HEARTS: Well, yes, I suppose ...
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Ooh! And is it meant to be worn around my neck,
on my ears or on my finger?
KING OF HEARTS: Ummm... No? No for all three.
15 QUEEN OF HEARTS: I'm stumped. What is it? Tell me. Tell me.
KING OF HEARTS: Yet another criminal that needs to be beheaded,
my Queen.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Pouts, disappointed.) Hmph! Not what I was
hoping for, but I suppose it's good enough. All right. Where is the
20
criminal?
KING OF HEARTS: (Indicates TIN MAN.) Right here, my Queen.
TIN MAN: No! Ididn't do anything. I could never harm anyone !
QUEEN OF HEARTS: And what did this man do that Ishould have him
beheaded?
25 ROOK: He killed someone.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Who?
ROOK: An egg, Your Majesty.
PAWN: Yep, cracked him up into a thousand pieces.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Now, that doesn't seem so bad.
30 TIN MAN: Oh, but it was terrible!
QUEEN OF HEARTS: It sounds delicious!
PAWN: No, no! He's right. It was a terrible murder!
ROOK: It's no yolk, Your Majesty!
KING OF HEARTS: Off with his head!
35 CARDS/CHESS PIECES: Yes! Off with his head!
TIN MAN: That will do you no good. I'm not afraid of losing my head.
If you chop off my head, I'lljust have the tinsmith replace it with a
new one, just as he did before.
KING OF HEARTS: The tinsmith can fix you?
5
KING OF HEARTS:
32
• PH OTO COPYING THIS SCRIPT BR EAKS FEDERAL COPYRIGHT LAWS
10
QUEEN OF HEARTS: That's no use to me! What else can you do?
TIN MAN: How about this? (MUSIC CUE 6b: "Recitation." Kneels and
recites.) Oh, my love 's like a red, red rose
That's newly sprung in June.
Oh, my love's like a melody
That's sweetly played in tune. (MUSIC OUT. CARDS and CHESS
PIECES smile and sigh.)
15
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (To CHESS PIECES.) Quiet, you! (To CARDS.) And
you! Why are you still talking? Ithought I sentenced you to death!
TIN MAN: Oh, my!
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Looks at TIN MAN.) Aha! That's just it! I know
20
25
how you can help me. You say you have an ax, and with all these
beheadings, my current ax man seems to be too busy to keep up.
You can be my new executioner!
TIN MAN: Oh, but I couldn't.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: I'll even put you in charge. (MUSIC CUE 7: "The
Heartless Executioner." Speaks.) You'll be the head of beheadings!
TIN MAN: (Speaks.) That sounds terrible. Icould neverQUEEN OF HEARTS: (Sings.) Be a man! Keep your head.
30
35
40
Fill the world full of dread.
Man of tin, time to shine, join the clan.
Raise your blade in the air high as you can,
As you shout, "Off with their heads" like a man.
KING/FIVE/SEVEN: (Sing.) Be a man! Be a brute!
Be precise, execute.
Be the best,don't be known for someone who ran.
Keep it sharp, keep it swift, all spic 'n' span,
As you shout, "Off with their heads" like a man!
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Sings.) Grab your trusty ax.
Hold it like a friend.
Take some healthy whacks,
Chopping 'til the end!
Keep them all in fear,
Retributioner.
33
1
Hear the people cheer,
"He's the Tin Man,
The heartless executioner!"
1
QUEEN/KING/CARDS/CHORUS: (Sing.)
5
10
15
20
25
Be a man! Full of strength,
Not just a rusty, empty can.
Show no conscience
And we all will be a fan.
Look at necks like they were logs
With shorter span,
As we say, " Off with their heads like a man!"
We'll provide the goods
Just like in the woods.
Taking down the trees,
You'll have them on their knees.
You wi II be our stout
Restitutioner,
As the people shout,
"He's the Tin Man,
The heartless executioner!"
TIN MAN: (Sings.) You've made a mistake.
Ican't do what you command.
My looks are deceiving.
Iam gentle and kind.
My poor heart would break
If I raised a cruel hand.
Dear, Queen, please believe me
And change your mind. (The following two stanzas are sung as a
duet.)
30
35
40
GIRL PLAYING CARDS: (Sing.) Na-na-na! Hey! Heyl
Na-na-na! Hey! Hey!
Na-na-na! Hey! Hey!
Na-na-na! Hey! Hey!
Na-na-na! Hey! Hey!
Na-na-na! Hey! Hey!
Na-na-na! Hey! Hey!
Na-na-na! Hey! Hey!
Na-na-na! Na-na-na-na-na!
TIN MAN: (Sings.) You've got me all wrong.
I'm not what you see.
Ican't hurt a fly.
Ican't even try.
34
5
Ijust don't belong
Where you want me to be.
No heads top the block
To chop for me!
QUEEN/KING/CARDS/CHORU S: (Sing.)
10
Be a man! Not a coward,
Not a sissy, not a wimp!
Show some backbone,
Stand up straight,
Not loose 'n' limp.
Show some mettle,
Show some steel,
Embrace our plan,
As we squeal, "Off with their heads" like a man! (The following two
15
stanzas are sung as a duet.)
TIN MAN: (Sings.) You have made a big mistake,
20
2s
And my poor heart would break
To do what you command.
Why can't you understand
That I'm not what you see?
You've got me wrong.
Idon't belong.
It's just not me!
I could never truly ever be that man!
I'm not the executioner!
QUEEN/KING/CARDS/CHORUS: (Sing.)
Grab your trusty ax.
Hold it like a friend.
Take some healthy whacks,
30
Chopping 'til the end.
Keep them all in fear,
Retributioner!
Hear the people cheer,
"He's the Tin Man,
35
The heartless executioner!
He's the Tin Man,
The executioner!" (MUSIC OUT.)
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Sweet.) As Executioner, your life wtll be spared
in return. (Points to the CARDS.) Now, cut the cards!
40 TIN MAN: Oh, no, Your Majesty. I couldn't. It would break my new
heart.
35
1 QUEEN
OF HEARTS: Off with their heads! Now! Or I'll have your head,
1 FISH
too.
TIN MAN: I don't wish to anger you... (Pauses and begins twitching
5
his lips as if he's having trouble speaking.) ...Your ... Your Majesty,
but... (Now, parts of him freeze and he seems to have trouble
moving as well. He struggles.) ...But I... Ijust ... can't!
QUEEN OF HEARTS : (Rants.As she does so, TIN MAN struggles to move,
but little by little he FREEZES. He s
i rusting.) How dare you refuse an
10
15
20
25
30
35
order from the Queen?! Don't you know who you're dealing with?
I am the Queen of Hearts! I make all the rules, and you have just
broken rule number one! Never! Refuse! The Queen! Off with his
head! Off with his head! (Stares at TIN MAN, who doesn't react.)
Didn't you hear me? I said, "Off with his head!" That means you!
(Puts her finger in his chest. He doesn't stir. She waves her hand in
his face, then snaps her fingers. Then, she makes a goofy face at him.
He does not budge. QUEEN OF HEARTS laughs.) Ha! He's turned to
stone! Serves him right refusing my orders. Now... where was I?
(CARDS quickly turn away and continue to paint the roses and whistle
as if they have no clue what she was planning to have done to them.
QUEEN OF HEARTS thinks as the LIGHTS FADE to BLACK.)
End of Scene Eight
ACT ONE
Scene Nine - The Great Oz
LIGHTS UP: The house of the Wizard of Oz. DOWN LEFT is a door, and
above the door hangs a sign which reads, "W. Oz". (See PRODUCTION
NOTES.) The FROG FOOTMAN sits near the door on a stool. Inside
the wizard's house is a screen, CENTER. DOROTHY ENTERS DOWN
LEFT with TOTO. FROG FOOTMAN doesn't notice her. She is about to
approach ,but stops when FISH FOOTMAN hurries IN RIGHT carrying an
invitation and a wanted poster.
FISH FOOTMAN: (Crosses to FROG FOOTMAN and hands over the
invitation.) For the Wizard. An invitation from the Queen to play
croquet.
FROG FOOTMAN: (Takes the invitation.) From the Queen. An invitation
for the Wizard to play croquet.
FISH FOOTMAN: And... (Hands him the wanted poster.) ...for whomever
may have knowledge of her whereabouts, a bounty on the head of
a young girl named Alice, for wrongs against the Queen.
DOROTHY: (To herself.) Oh, my!
FROG FOOTMAN: (Takes the poster.) For wrongs against the Queen,
a bounty on the head of whomever may have knowledge of the
whereabouts of a young girl named Alice.
36
• PHOTOCOPYING THIS SCRIPT BREAKS FEDERAL COPYRIG HT LAWS
FOOTMAN: Close enough. Please deliver both to His Wizardness .
(FOOTMEN bow and bump their heads together. DOROTHY laughs.
FISH FOOTMAN EXITS RIGHT. FROG FOOTMAN goes through the
doorway and EXITS UP CENTER into the house.)
s DOROTHY: (Approaches and reads the sign.) W. Oz. Hmmm... (Reads
again.) W. Oz... Aha! It's the Wizard! It just has to be the wizard,
Toto! His balloon must have been swept here by the tornado just
as we were! And if it is the wizard, it must mean that I'm back to
my normal size again. Oh, Toto, this is wonderful! We've found
10
the wizard, and he can help us get back home to Aunt Em and
i about to knock on the door, FROG
Uncle Henry! (Just as she s
FOOTMAN opens the door, steps through it, and sits on the stool.
He takes no notice of DOROTHY and TOTO and just stares at the
sky. DOROTHY steps back and watches him. Finally.) Ahem. (FROG
15
FOOTMAN continues to stare at the sky.) Ahem! (TOTO barks. Again,
no response. Finally, DOROTHY steps up to the door and knocks.)
FROG FOOTMAN: (Still stares at the sky.) There 's no use knocking.
DOROTHY: Why 's that?
FROG FOOTMAN: Two reasons. First, I am on the same side of the
20
door as you are. Perhaps, if I were on the inside of the house and
you knocked, you might be getting somewhere.
DOROTHY: Very well, then. Go inside and let me in, Footman . (FROG
FOOTMAN does so.DOROTHY knocks.)
FROG FOOTMAN: (Opens the door and peeks out.) It's no use knocking.
25 DOROTHY: Now,what is it?
FROG FOOTMAN: Reason number two. The wizard may refuse you.
30
Few have seen the Great Oz.
DOROTHY: But Imust see him. He promised to help me. Please, can't
you let me in?
FROG FOOTMAN: I'll pass along your message to him. (Closes the
door. TOTO barks.)
DOROTHY: (Exasperated .) Oh, Toto! It's just like trying to get into the
Emerald City all over again!
FROG FOOTMAN: (Opens the door and peeks out.) I've good news. He
35
said he will grant you an audience.
DOROTHY: May Icome in then?
FROG FOOTMAN: Yes, but the wizard does not wish to be seen.
DOROTHY: But you just saidFROG FOOTMAN: That he doesn't wish do be seen, which is not the
40
same as he doesn't wish to be spoken to.
DOROTHY: Then, how am I to speak with him?
37
1
5
FROG FOOTMAN: You will address him as he sits behind his screen.
(FROG FOOTMAN steps aside and allows DOROTHY and TOTO to
pass through the door. FROG FOOTMAN returns to his spot outside
the door and stares at the sky. Now on the other side, DOROTHY and
TOTO approach the screen.)
WIZARD : (From behind the screen. [NOTE: WIZARD'S lines may be
spoken from behind the screen or as a voiceover with cool echoes.])
Iam Oz, the great and powerful. Who are you and why do you seek
me? (TOTO barks.)
10 DOROTHY : Oh, Wizard! It's me, Dorothy. Dorothy Gale. With Toto. Don't
you remember us?
WIZARD : Dorothy?
DOROTHY : Yes. You promised to help me, remember? You were going
to take me back home to my aunt and uncle in Kansas in your
15
balloon when we were all swept away by the tornado.
WIZARD: Oh, yes. Very well. I will help you. But first, you must do
something for me. (TOTO growls.)
DOROTHY: But I've already killed the Wicked Witch of the West at your
request. What more must Ido?
20 WIZARD : You must defeat the Queen of Hearts.
DOROTHY: Why must I defeat her?
WIZARD : The Queen of Hearts is a terrible tyrant. You'll find that she
is just as wicked as the Wicked Witch of the West.
DOROTHY : How so?
25 WIZARD : She has built a great army of chess pieces and playing
cards.
DOROTHY: (Laughs.) Chess pieces? Playing cards? That doesn't
sound so terrible. Certainly not nearly as frightening as those
awful winged monkeys! (TOTO whimpers.)
30 WIZARD : But she is very terrible. She has great power, and she puts
even the most innocent of people to death in the worst ways
imaginable.
DOROTHY : Oh, my!
WIZARD : She is seeking to enslave all the free peoples of Wonderland.
35 DOROTHY : But you know Icannot kill anyone. I only killed the witches
by mistake.
WIZARD: You need not kill the Queen. You must journey to her rose
garden and defeat her in a simple game of croquet.
DOROTHY: Well, that seems simple enough. But how will that stop her?
40 WIZARD : She never loses at croquet. But she must.
DOROTHY : I don't follow.
38
Her power rests only in the image of power she has created
for herself, but that is also her greatest weakness. As long as she
appears to be unbeatable, she will remain unbeatable. Beat her
at croquet, and the people of Wonderland will see that she can be
5
conquered. They will see that the Queen isn't to be feared. They
will do the rest of the work, and she'll fall like the house of cards
she has built.
·DOROTHY: Very well. That seems easy enough. I will agree to it if you
promise to help me get home to my aunt and uncle.
10 WIZARD : Ipromise. And Iwill also provide you with the help of friends.
Ibelieve you know this ferocious beast. (LION ENTERS from behin'd
1 WIZARD :
the screen. TOTO barks.)
DOROTHY: Oh, Lion! I thought I'd never see you again!
LION: Dorothy!
15
DOROTHY : And where are Scarecrow and Tin Man?
LION: I'm sorry, Dorothy, but Iwas separated from them, too. I haven't
found them yet.
WIZARD : But you just may. Time will tell. They have the brains and
the heart for it, so I'm sure they will find you. But you shall have
20
another in your party. May I introduce you to Alice? (ALICE ENTERS
from behind the screen.)
ALICE: (Curtseys.) It's very ni.ce to meet you.
DOROTHY: (Curtseys.) The same to you. But did you say your name
was Alice?
25 ALICE : Yes. I'm trying to get home, too. My home is in England. The
wizard said he could help me, too, if only we can defeat the wicked
Queen. I guess we'll be working together.
DOROTHY : Oh, my. But I've just heard that the Queen is searching for
a girl name Alice .
30 ALICE : I know.
WIZARD: Yes. I'vejust received such word from my footman.
DOROTHY: But how can you expect her to enter the Queen's presence
if she is certain to be taken prisoner?
WIZARD : All of that has been arranged. The Queen only knows her by
35
name. Alice will simply have to use a pseudonym.
ALICE : I've always wanted a secret identity! (DOROTHY seems
surprised at ALICE'S confidence.) Oh, don't worry, Dorothy. It's just
as the wizard said. The Queen doesn't have any real power,just
the impression of power. And besides, we have a brave and tough
40
lion protecting us! He' already saved me once.
DOROTHY : You have?
39
1 LION:
I have. I'm not afraid of no Queen!
WIZARD : Very well. You must be on your way. Just remember. The
Queen is very temperamental. If you wish to defeat her, you
mustn't anger her, and you must beat her at her own game. You
5
should also know... she doesn't play fair.
DOROTHY : It sounds impossible. Are you sure we have to do this?
WIZARD : Yes. The people of Wonderland are counting on you. But
here. Take this. It may prove useful. (Tosses the invitation over the
screen to DOROTHY. TOTO barks. MUSIC CUE 8: "Will We Ever See
10
Home Again?" )
ALICE: (Speaks.) Very well. But how shall we find the Queen?
WIZARD: (Speaks.) I do not know. But until the Queen of Hearts is
defeated, you will not see your homes again. (DOROTHY sighs and
looks discouraged.)
15 ALICE: (Steps forward, sings.) Sitting by the fire,
Knitting on my mittens,
Kittens chasing yarn string...
Seems so long ago.
DOROTHY: (Steps forward, sings.) Feeding all the chickens,
20
Kneading dough for baking,
Waking with the sunrise...
How I miss it so!
ALICE/DOROTHY: (Sing.) Will we ever see home again?
Will it be what I see in my mind,
25
Waiting so far behind?
My heart keeps asking me when
Will we ever see home again.
LION: (Speaks.) I sure miss it. (WIZARD steps out from behind screen
to sing. LIGHTS UP on SCARECROW EXTREME DOWN RIGHT and on
30
TIN MAN, whois still rusted, EXTREME DOWN LEFT. TIN MAN sings
while rusted stiff.)
WIZARD/SCARECROW/LION/TI N MAN: (Sing.)
Blinding Em'rald City,
Winding roads of yellow,
35
Mellow fields of poppies...
Mem'ries fondly grow.
(Sing.) Will we ever see home again?
Will it still be the place I once knew,
Where I changed as Igrew?
Nothing can quiet this yen.
5
I so long to see home again.
ALICE/DOROTHY: (Sing.) And I so need the answer,
The how, what and when.
ALL: (Sing.) Tell me now,
Will we ever see home again? (ALL FREEZE as LIGHTS FADE to
10
BLACK. MUSIC OUT.)
End of ACT ONE
MUSIC CUE 8a: "Entr'acte-A Mad Adventure. " ENTIRE ENSEMB.LE
ENTERS RIGHT in single file led by MAD HATIER , MARCH HARE,
DORMOUSE and SCARECROW. They parade across the stage as they
sing.
15 ENSEMBLE: (Sings.) We'll have such fun!
We'll skip and run right to this mad adventure!
Hi hi ho!
Off through Wonderland we go!
What a show!
20
We 'll trek and risk our neck on this adventure!
Mad about, we'll gad about
With braggadocio! Dosey doe!
We're dancing while we're chancing an adventure!
Hi hi hey!
2s
An adventure holiday!
Off we fly to search and seek
And root about and spy.
Why, nothing's more exciting or inviting, I must say.
We shall not get lost or led astray!
30
We're on our way!
(Shouts.) We're on our way! Hey! (ALL parade OUT as the LIGHTS
FADE to BLACK. MUSIC OUT.)
1 ALL:
ALICE/DOROTHY /WIZARD/SCRARECROW/LION/TIN MAN:
40
(Sing.) Will we ever see home again?
Are we lost in a strange fantasy,
Never to be set free?
It seems impossible, then,
That we'll ever be home again. (OPTIONAL OZ/ANS ENTER UPSTAGE)
40
• PHOTOCOPYING THIS SCRIPT BREAKS FED ERAL COPY RIGHT LAWS
35
ACT TWO
Scene One - A Mad Adventure
LIGHTS UP: Played before the curtain. SCARECROW ENTERS LEFT,
looking for DOROTHY, along with MARCH HARE, MAD HATIER and
DORMOUSE, who have come along for the adventure. SCARECROW
leads and DORMOUSE lags behind the group, yawning and walking
very tiredly.
SCARECROW: (Calls out.) Dorothy! Dorothy!
41
1 MAD HATTER:
(Calls out.) Beatrice! Hermione! Gertrude!
1 posted
on the tree . A large rock is DOWN LEFT. CHESHIRE CAT ONE
lies STAGE RIGHT, sleeping. TOTO ENTERS LEFT and sees CHESHIRE
CAT ONE.
SCARECROW: Stop that! You mustn't call out for other girls. We 're
looking for Dorothy and no one else!
MAD HATTER: But that's perfectly illogical.
5 SCARECROW: Impossible.
MAD HATTER: Not impossible, but rather very probable. If we find
Beatrice, perhaps she could help us find Hermione, who could
help us find Gertrude, who could, in turn, help us find Dorothy.
MARCH HARE: (Bounces.) Yes! And they shall all join us on our
10
adventure!
DORMOUSE: (Sluggish.) Party!
MAD HATTER: Unless Gertrude happens to know how to find Dorothy
first. Then we would only have two more joining us, which would
not make it a party, but only a small gathering.
15 MARCH HARE: Either way, it's still an adventure! And perhaps we'll
find Time along the way as well!
SCARECROW: Just stay quiet! You all are driving me mad.
MAD HATTER: Now, that's what's impossible!
DORMOUSE: Impossible!
20 MARCH HARE: Quite right! We're not driving anywhere, we're walking!
MAD HATTER: That's just the smallest point of it, though. The
Scarecrow is clearly mad already. So if we were driving him
anywhere, we .'d naturally be driving him sane. (Removes his hat
and bows.)
25
SCARECROW : (To himself.) Oh, why did I ask the wizard for brains?
up, cat! Wake up right now, or I'll bite you!
CHESHIRE CAT ONE: (Wakes, calm.) All right. I'm awake. Now, why
must you be so angry about it?
10 TOTO: Because cats are rude!
CHESHIRE CAT ONE: What's so rude about sleeping?
TOTO: You're in my way! How dare you cross my path!
CHESHIRE CAT ONE: I wasn't crossing anywhere.
TOTO: See? Rude!
15
DOROTHY: (ENTERS LEFT with ALICE and LION. TOTO turns to her and
20
being very rude to me. (TOTO barks louder than ever and chases
25
30
MAD HATTER: That much is true. If I didn't have brains, where else
35
ACT TWO
Scene Two - Directions from an Old Friend
LIGHTS UP: CURTAIN UP to reveal a great tree CENTER. A sign that
reads, "WANTED: ALICE. For crimes against the Queen" is prominently
42
CHESHIRE CAT ONE.)
DOROTHY: Oh, no, Toto! Stop it! Stop it this instant! (TOTO and
MARCH HARE: Oh, we have brains, all right! (Follows SCARECROW
could I set my hat? (Puts his hat back on his head and EXITS RIGHT.)
DORMOUSE: (Lies down.) Don't mind me. Ijust have a couple of logs
to saw, and I promise I won't miss anything. Then I'll catch up.
(Goes to sleep and snores away as the LIGHTS FADE to BLACK.)
End of Scene One
barks angrily, occasionally looking back at CHESHIRE CAT ONE, as if
he's trying to tell DOROTHY what has just happened.) Oh, my, Toto!
What has gotten into you? (More angry barking from TOTO. ALICE
and LION try to shush him.)
CHESHIRE CAT ONE: I'll tell you what happened. Your dog was
(Walks OFF RIGHT.)
OFF RIGHT.)
CHESHIRE CAT ONE: You've got it the wrong way around. After all, you
crossed my path. If that's the definition of rude, then I'd say you're
the rude one.
It just makes the ones without brains all the more exasperati ng!
30
(Quickly crosses to CHESHIRE CAT ONE, but stops a few steps
away, keeping his distance. Then, builds up all the gusto he's got and
lets out a bunch of ferocious barks ... only they come out as.) Wake
TOTO:
5
CHESHIRE CAT ONE run around the stage a bit, until finally CHESHIRE
CAT ONE races behind the tree. TOTO chases CHESHIRE CAT ONE
behind the tree and races to the other side, but CHESHIRE CAT
ONE has seemingly disappeared. [NOTE: CHESHIRE CAT ONE has
simply hidden behind the tree. For more, see PRODUCTION NOTES.]
TOTOs
i confused and sniffs around the tree, perplexed by the cat's
disappearance. DOROTHY, ALICE and LION are confused, too.)
ALICE: Oh, my! Where has he gone? (Checks behind the tree, on the
35
STAGE RIGHT side looking LEFT. CHESHIRE CAT TWO ENTERS RIGHT,
behind her. ALICE finds nothing behind the tree.) My,what a curious
sort of cat!
CHESHIRE CAT TWO: That's not a good sign. They say curiosity killed
the cat!
4o
ALICE : (Turns.) Oh! There you are!
43
But how did you get there? (Points to CHESHIRE CAT TWO, then
back to the tree, then back to CHESHIRE CAT TWO. MUSIC CUE 9:
"Everyone Has To Be Somewhere.")
1 LION:
1 CHESHIRE
DOROTHY: (Surprised, speaks.) Oh! There you are again!
CHESHIRE CAT TWO : (Speaks.) Well, I have to be somewhere, don't I?
5
(Sings.) Everyone has to be somewhere
Though it seems they disappear.
Everyone has to be somewhere.
You're there, and suddenly you're here.
Yes, everyone has to be somewhere.
10 DOROTHY/ALICE/LION: (Sing.) We agree.
CHESHIRE CAT TWO: (Sings.) Otherwise, they wouldn't be.
Everyone has to be somewhere.
DOROTHY/ALICE/LION: (Sing.) Yes, we see.
CHESHIRE CAT TWO: (Sings.) In your lap or way up a tree.
15
Out of sight and out of one's mind,
Doesn't mean we don't exist.
Though sometimes difficult to find,
Left behind,
Then back with the twist of a wrist.
20 DOROTHY/ALICE/LION: (Sing.) It's hard believing.
Something's deceiving.
A ploy that somehow we missed!
CHESHIRE CAT TWO: (With a big cheesy smile.) Ole!
(Sings.) Everyone has to be somewhere.
25 DOROTHY/ALICE/LION: (Speak in rhythm, sarcastic.) Obviously!
CHESHIRE CAT TWO: (Sings.) Nothing goes "poof" in thin air.
Everyone has to be somewhere.
DOROTHY/ALICE/LION : (Sing.) Normally.
If you 're not here, then you're there! ( TOTO barks and chases
30
35
40
5
Come back here! Oh, my! Did you lose him again,Toto? Imust say,
I've never met such an odd sort of cat. (Turns back LEFT.)
ALICE: (Speaks.) You should meet my cat, Dinah. She's a perfectly
wonderful cat and never disappears, and she especially doesn't
vanish into thin air. In fact, she can almost always be found
sleeping on the front stair.
LION: (Speaks.) But Dorothy's right. Cats aren't made to vanish like
that. I should know, being a cat myself. It's very strange.(CHESHIRE
CAT THREE, who has been hiding behind the rock, DOWN LEFT, steps
out of hiding and sits near the rock.)
DOROTHY/ALICE/LION : (Sing.) How did you do that?
CHESHIRE CAT THREE: (Sings.) Everyone has to be somewhere.
DOROTHY/ ALICE/LION: (Sing.) There's no way!
•
PHOTOCOPYING TH IS SCRIPT BREAKS FEDERAL COPYRIGHT LAWS
(Sings.) I'm just a sneaky ol' cat!
I have nine lives, and I use them
All simultaneously.
I'm careful not to abuse them.
I fuse them.
Here, there, everywhere, it's all me.
DOROTHY/ALICE/LION: (Sing.) I'm in a tizzy.
I'm feelin' dizzy.
You fried my brain logic'lly!
CHESHIRE CAT THREE: (With a big cheesy smile.) Ole!
(Sings.) Everyone has to be somewhere,
DOROTHY/ALICE/LION: (Sing.) It's not clear.
10 CHESHIRE CAT THREE:
15
20
CHESHIRE CAT THREE: (Sings.)
Sometimes you can't trust your eyes.
DOROTHY/ALICE/LION: (Sing.) There's someone odd here.
25
CHESHIRE CAT THREE: (Sings.) Everyone has to be somewhere.
DOROTHY/ALICE/LION: (Sing.) You disappear.
(Sings.) And everyone loves a surprise!
(Speaks.) Now, why would you call me odd?
CHESHIRE CAT THREE:
DOROTHY: (Speaks.) For starters, you grin an awful lot for a cat.
3o
35
40
44
CHESHIRE CAT THREE: (Sings.) Everyone has to be somewhere .
DOROTHY/ALICE/LION: (Sing.) So you say.
CHESHIRE CAT THREE : (Sings.) Standing right before your eyes.
CHESHIRE CAT TWO OFF RIGHT.)
DOROTHY: (Crosses RIGHT aer them. Calls OFF RIGHT.) Toto, no!
CAT THREE : (Speaks.) You 're not referring to little old me,
are you?
(Speaks.) But the oddest part is how you seem to disappear
and reappear whenever and wherever you like.
CHESHIRE CAT THREE: (Speaks.) Perhaps it's you who are odd for
staying in one place all the time.
ALICE: (Speaks.) Why, that's not odd at all!
CHESHIRE CAT THREE: (Speaks.) Says who?
DOROTHY: (Speaks.) Says everyone. Why, that's just a rule of nature!
CHESHIRE CAT THREE: (Speaks.) Is it? I've never heard of such a
rule. (TOTO ENTERS RIGHT, sniffing, and sees CHESHIRE CAT THREE.
TOTO begins barking ferociously again and chases CHESHIRE CAT
ALICE:
THREE OFF LEFT.)
45
(Crosses LEFT and calls OFF.) Oh, Toto! No! Come back!
We've got to find our way to the Queen! (CHESHIRE CAT ONE steps
1 DOROTHY :
1 ALICE:
CHESHIRE CAT ONE: (Speaks.) Oh, good! Then I shall see you there.
(Crosses behind the tree.)
OUT from behind the tree, behind DOROTHY, who's at first surprised.)
CHESHIRE CAT ONE: (Sings.) Everyone has to be somewhere.
5
DOROTHY/ALICE/LION: (Speak in rhythm.) This is sick!
CHESHIRE CAT ONE: (Sings.) Wonderland has its own rules.
DOROTHY/ALICE/LION: (Sing.) It happened so quick.
CHESHIRE CAT ONE: (Sings.) Everyone has to be somewhere.
DOROTHY/ALICE/LION : (Sing.) It's a trick!
10
15
20
25
CHESHIRE CAT ONE: (Sings.) We have our own set of tools. (Speaks.)
If you weren 't so rude, thinking that everyone you met was odd,
perhaps someone could help you find where you're going.
DOROTHY : (Speaks.) Well then, can you help us?
CHESHIRE CAT ONE: (Speaks.) That depends a good deal on where
you want to get to.
LION: (Speaks.) We're trying to find the Queen of Hearts.
CHESHIRE CAT ONE: (Speaks.) In that case, you should go in that
direction. (Points OFF RIGHT.)
(Sings.) You may find out once you get there,
You'd really rather be here.
Some things may pose quite a threat there,
And yet there
May be nothing to fear. (Sneaks behind the tree.)
DOROTHYI ALICE/LION: (Sing.) We're on a mission ,
A competition.
And now he's vanished, oh, dear!
CHESHIRE CAT ONE: (Peaks OUT from behind the tree, smiles big.)
Ole! (Sings.) Everyone has to be somewhere. (Hides behind the
tree.)
DOROTHY : (Speaks.) But wait! If you're going, too, can't you show us
the way? (MUSIC OUT. DOROTHY crosses to look behind the tree,
but CHESHIRE CAT ONE seems to have disappeared. SCARECROW
ENTERS RIGHT, then, seeing activity and not wanting to be noticed,
FREEZES standing up tall with arms outstretched. To CHESHIRE
10
CAT.) Oh, dear! Why must you keep doing that? (Crosses LEFT and
calls OFF.) Toto! Toto! (TOTO ENTERS LEFT.)
5
ALICE: Come on, Toto! We have to find the Queen! (They cross
DOWNSTAGE, led by DOROTHY. None of them notices SCARECROW.)
DOROTHY: (Looks LEFT and RIGHT.) Oh, my! Now, which way was it?
15
various directions, trying to sort it all out.)
DOROTHY : Now, who said that? Did that horrid cat come back again?
(Looks around.)
SCARECROW: But if I were you, I most certainly wouldn't go that way!
(Points RIGHT.)
25
DOROTHY: (Turns and sees him. Thrilled.) Oh, Scarecrow! It's you! It's
you!
SCARECROW : (UNFREEZES.) Dorothy! I'm so glad I've found you!
(Sees the OTHERS.) And Lion! And Toto! And ...?
ALICE: (Cautious.) I am...
3o
(Sing.) That's not fair!
CHESHIRE CAT TWO: (Peaks IN from OFF RIGHT, sings.)
Either you're here or you're not. (Steps OFF again.)
35
With all that running and disappearing and reappearing somewhere
else, I'm completely turned around! (Looks around and points in
SCARECROW : Well, I suppose you could go that way. (Still FROZEN,
except for moving his arms, he points OUT to the AUDIENCE.) Or you
20
could also go that way. (Points LEFT.)
30 DOROTHY/ ALICE/ LION:
DOROTHY/ ALICE/LION: (Sing.) We must be dreaming!
CHESHIRE CAT THREE: (Peaks IN from OFF LEFT. Sings.)
(Speaks .) She's having a game of croquet today, and we wish
to play.
DOROTHY : It's okay. He's a friend of mine. You can trust him.
ALICE: (Curtseys.) I am Alice.
SCARECROW : Pleasure to meet you, Alice.
DOROTHY: But we mustn't mention her real name to just anyone,
Scarecrow. (Points to the wanted poster.) See. The Queen is looking
35
for her.
Everyone has to be somewhere.
SCARECROW: Who is this queen? Is she as terrible as I hear?
DOROTHY/ALICE/LION : (Speak in rhythm.) Everywhere!
CHESHIRE CAT ONE: (Appears from behind the tree, sings.)
One just has to find their own spot! (Speaks.) Why do you wish to
DOROTHY: Oh, Scarecrow, she is! Just terrible!
see the Queen?
LION: You must come with us. The wizard has sent us off to find the
40
46
Queen. Dorothy must beat her at croquet, and then he'll help her
get back to Kansas.
ALICE: And he'll help me get home to England!
47
1 SCARECROW:
Why, that's great!
DOROTHY: But we just met a strange little cat who told me the way
5
to the Queen's castle is that way. (Points OFF RIGHT.) But you just
said not to go that way, didn't you?
SCARECROW: Oh, no! You don't want to do that!
Why? (MAD HATTER and MARCH HARE ENTER RIGHT.
DORMOUSE follows them ON sleepily and leans against the tree to
rest.)
DOROTHY:
SCARECROW: That's why.
10
MAD HATTER: There she is!
MARCH HARE: She? She who?
MAD HATTER: That she. She's right over there.
HATTER: Still, now we shall never find them. It seems they'll be
lost forever. (Grieved.) How tragic! March Hare, say a few words,
will you?
MARCH HARE: Pillow. Mustard. Jitterbug.
5 MAD HATTER: (Replaces his hat.) Thank you.
DOROTHY: Well , you 've found us, and at least that's something.
Perhaps you could help us get to the Queen's rose garden.
MARCH HARE: Oh, yippy! Another adventure!
MAD HATTER: I know the way.Just let me grab my other hat. (Crosses
10
to the tree, where he takes out another hat to swap with the one
he has on.) There we are. Now, follow me, everyone. And if we're
lucky, we'll happen to find Hermione and Gertrude along the way!
1 MAD
MARCH HARE: (Excited.) A girl! A girl! (Crosses to DOROTHY, then looks
(MUSIC CUE 9a: UA Mad Adventure-Reprise. " DORMOUSE wakes
and sings drowsily.)
at her, doubtful.) Are you sure you're a girl?
15
DOROTHY : Why, yes!
15
MARCH HARE: Well, Ithought you'd look different.
MAD HATTER: (Crosses to DOROTHY and pushes MARCH HARE aside.)
20
Don't mind him. He's never seen a girl before. I'm the hatter. Don't
believe them if they tell you I'm mad. (Removes his hat, bows and
kisses DOROTHY'S hand.)
DOROTHY: I promise Iwon't.
20
SCARECROW: (To DOROTHY.) Be careful making promises you can't
keep.
MAD HATTER: (To ALICE.) And you are?
25
ALICE: (Cautious again.) I am... Beatrice.
25
MAD HATTER: (Ecstatic.) Fantastic!
SCARECROW: But she told me her nameDOROTHY: (To SCARECROW.) Shhh! Just go with it.
MAD HATTER: (Beams. To ALICE.) I just knew we'd find you, Beatrice!
30
30
DOROTHY/SCARECROW/ALICE/LION : (Look at one another, shrug
and shout.) We're on our way! (MUSIC OUT. EXIT RIGHT. TOTO barks
and scurries OFF with them as the LIGHTS FADE to BLACK )
MARCH HARE: (Disappointed.) What a pity! Our adventure is over.
MAD HATTER: And we haven't found the others. (Removes his hat
End of Scene Two
again and places it over his heart. Reverent.) Poor Hermione and
Gertrude.
DOROTHY: Who are they?
SCARECROW: They're nobody. Just some girls he was looking for.
DOROTHY: What happened to them?
SCARECROW: Nothing. He just made them up in his head.
HIS SCRIPT B REAKS FEDERAL COPYR IGHT LAWS
48
We'll skip and run right to this mad adventure!
Hi hi ho!
Off through Wonderland we go!
What a show!
We'll trek and risk our neck on this adventure!
Mad about, we'll gad about
With braggadocio! Dosey doe!
We're dancing while we're chancing an adventure!
Hi hi hey!
An adventure holiday!
Off we fly
To search and seek and root about and spy.
Why, nothing's more exciting or inviting, I must say.
We shall not get lost or led astray!
We're on our way! (MAD HATTER EXITS RIGHT. MARCH HARE and
DORMOUSE follow him OFF, excited.)
(Bows. To DOROTHY.) And so that must mean you are Hermione.
SCARECROW : No! This is Dorothy! We've found her!
35
ALL: (Sing.) We'll have such fun!
35
ACT TWO
Scene Three - Croquet
LIGHTS UP: The Queen's rose garden. TIN MAN still stands there,
FROZEN, right where they left him. MUSIC CUE 9b: "White Rabbit
Entrance." WHITE RABBIT runs ON RIGHT.
49
1 WHITE RABBIT:
5
(Sings.) It's here! It's time!
A nervous Nellie I'm!
Rhyme and riddle,
Rum-tum-tiddle,
Bell's about to chime!
1
5
It's time! It's here!
The "it" just isn't clear!
The ifs and buts,
The whens and whats
10
15
QUEEN OF HEARTS : (Stops the procession when she sees DOROTHY
and her friends. MUSIC OUT.) Who are you?
DOROTHY : (Steps forward.) I'm Dorothy Gale. Of Kansas.
Have made me nuts, Ifear! (Runs OFF LEFT. DOROTHY, TOTO, LION,
ALICE, SCARECROW, MARCH HARE and MAD HATTER ENTER RIGHT.
MUSIC OUT.)
10
Majesty.
MAD HATTER : Here it is! The Queen's rose garden.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: And why are you here?
SCARECROW : And where's the Queen?
DOROTHY : We've come to play croquet with you.
MAD HATTER: How should Iknow? You said nothing of finding her.You
15 QUEEN OF HEARTS:
invitation. WHITE RABBIT takes it.)
DOROTHY : Oh, dear! Look! It's Tin Man!
20
MAD HATTER : He's right. You can look it up.
DOROTHY : (Looks around.) But where's his oil can? He needs oil!
MARCH HARE: He needs more than that!
MAD HATTER: Here. Ihave just what he needs. (Pulls a tiny teapot out
from under his hat or from
a
pocket of his jacket.) A nice warm cup
25
of tea should perk him right up.
ALICE : How very odd! Why do you have a tea kettle in your hat?
MAD HATTER : Funny you should ask that, Beatrice. I never took you
30
as one for riddles, but I'll tell you the answer anyway. (Looks at his
watch, then shows it to ALICE.) My watch is broken and it's always
six o'clock. It 's always tea time.
MARCH HARE: We must have tea for tea time, even if we're on an
adventure. (MAD HATTER holds the kettle out. MARCH HARE takes
it and tries to give TIN MAN
35
a
sip.)
30
35
SCARECROW: No! Stop that! That'lljust rust him up more!
MAD HATTER: We've told you already, but Iguess it bears repeating.
Tin doesn't rust! (DOROTHY, ALICE and LION take the kettle from
40
MARCH HARE and toss it to one another, playing keep away from
MARCH HARE, who desperately tries to grab it. SCARECROW
and MAD HATTER argue, ad-lib, about whether tin can rust. TOTO
50
(Opens the envelope and reads.) You are cordially
invited to join the Queen of Hearts in a game of croquet. Come
prepared to lose. (Folds up the invitation .)
QUEEN OF HEARTS : Very well. I don't remember invit ing you, but it
seems I have. Tell me... do you play croquet?
ALICE/ DOROTHY : Yes, Your Majesty.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: And are you prepared to lose?
DOROTHY: (Angry.) Well, of courseSCARECROW : (Interrupts.) They are prepared to face what comes to
them.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Very well. Give the girls their mallets. (A CARD
hands ALICE and DOROTHY a flamingo.) Let the games begin!
(CARDS shuffle around the stage and bend over like croquet hoops.
WHITE RABBIT:
LION: Oh, no! He's rusted up solid!
MARCH HARE: How's that possible? Tin doesn't rust.
Well, I haven't invited you. Off with their heads!
ALICE: Oh, my!
DOROTHY : But you have invited us, Your Majesty. (Hands her the
to TIN MAN and barks.)
25
ALICE: (Very cautious.) And I'm ...
MAD HATTER: (Removes his hat and bows.) This is Beatrice, Your
asked to find her rose garden and you've found it. (TOTO runs over
20
barks. MUSIC CUE 9c: "Fanfare and Processional." EVERYONE
stops to look for the source of the sound. That's when the Queen's
procession ENTERS LEFT, including QUEEN OF HEARTS, KING
OF HEARTS, WHITE RABBIT, CARDS and CHESS PIECES. Some of
them hold flamingo croquet mallets and balled up hedgehogs. [See
PRODUCTION NOTES.])
40
[NOTE: One or two hoops will do, but CHESS PIECES may do the
same, if desired. Any remaining CARDS or CHESS PIECES should
scurry OFF at this time.] FIVE s
i in place to be the first and final
hoop. The players take their places around the course. QUEEN OF
HEARTS goes first, of course, and, after careful preparation, whacks
her hedgehog ball through FIVE and OFF LEFT. She EXITS in pursu it
of it. KING OF HEARTS and WHITE RABBIT follow her OFF, as do any
EXTRA CARDS or CHESS PIECES.)
DOROTHY : (Looks at her flamingo.) Oh, dear! How are we to play with
these?
51
(Gets out of position. Rude.) Are you going to stand there and
complain all day or are you going to play?
LION: Just do what the Queen did. That's a start, at least. (DOROTHY
gets in position, as does FIVE.)
5 MARCH HARE: That's rotten advice!
SCARECROW: It's sound advice.
MAD HATTER: Not if she's playing to win. Why, if she does what the
Queen does, it will merely be a tie.
ALICE: What should we do to win?
10 MARCH HARE: Play the game your own way!
DOROTHY:
Well, I've never played croquet with flamingos and
hedgehogs before! How do I even know how to play my own way?
MARCH HARE: Just play.
SCARECROW: I believe actually they may be right this time. Just play
15
the game. (DOROTHY prepares to hit her hedgehog. She seems very
uneasy about it. She squares back, ready to swing.)
DORMOUSE:
(ENTERS RIGHT.) Here I am! (DOROTHY swings and
misses her hedgehog.)
LION: Quiet, you! You've disturbed her swing!
20 DORMOUSE: I hope I haven't kept you waiting.
MARCH HARE: Of course, we're waiting! We're always waiting!
MAD HATTER: That's right. My watch isn't fixed yet.
MARCH HARE: I don't suppose you found Time, while you kept us
waiting.
25 DORMOUSE: Oh, yes! I found lots and lots of time.
MARCH HARE: Where?
DORMOUSE: Right where I was sleeping.
MAD HATTER: You mean Time passed you by. I don't suppose you
met a Gertrude or Hermione where you slept either?
30 DORMOUSE: No.
MAD HATTER: See? You're no use. Go back to sleep.
DORMOUSE: Fine by me. (Lies down. MAD HATTER and MARCH HARE
1 FIVE:
look at the OTHERS.)
MARCH HARE: Oh, don't mind us. You can play through.
35
LION: Okay, Ali- um, Imean, Beatrice, now you have a try. (ALICE gets
I'II try my best. (Gears up and swings. She knocks her hedgehog
directly where it should go, but FIVE, the CARD hoop she's aiming
for, kicks the hedgehog off course just before it goes through.) Now,
1 ALICE :
that isn't fair! Did you see that?
5 LION: I did. Don't worry. I'll handle this. (Crosses to FIVE.) Excuse me,
but I believe you've broken the rules.
FIVE: I did nothing wrong. She missed.
SCARECROW : She had a direct hit!
FIVE: It was a direct miss by my calculation. (To MARCH HARE and
10
MAD HATTER.) You saw it. She missed.
MAD HATTER: She did.
MARCH HARE: I concur. I saw the whole thing. The ball went right
over there.
SCARECROW: Oh, come now. As if they are the models of reason!
15 CHESHIRE CAT ONE:
(Peeps ON from behind a rose bush near
DOROTHY.) Hello again.
ALICE: Oh, my! Hello.
CHESHIRE CAT ONE: I told you I'd see you here. How's your game?
ALICE: Not exactly what I'd imagined.
20 CHESHIRE CAT ONE: It never is. Anyway, I'm glad Ifound you.
ALICE: Why's that?
CHESHIRE CAT ONE: I found something that you might find useful.
(Holds up TIN MAN'S oil can.)
ALICE : Now, you are very odd. How can that possibly help me? What
25
Oh, this is wonderful! (Turns to SCARECROW.) Scarecrow! Lion!
Come quick! (SCARECROW and LION run to her. CHESHIRE CAT ONE
hides among the roses again.)
30 LION: What is it, Dorothy?
DOROTHY : It's Tin Man's oil can! The Cheshire Cat here... (Turns to
CHESHIRE CAT ONE, but hes
i gone.)
ALICE: Why, he was here just a second ago!
SCARECROW : It doesn't matter.The good news is that we can unrust
35
Tin Man now! (DOROTHY, SCARECROW and LION rush to TIN MAN
and begin oiling him.)
into position.)
MARCH HARE: (Frustrated.) I've said it once, I've said it a thousand
SCARECROW : Now, um... Beatrice, it's really quite easy. Just give that
bird a mighty swing and send that furry little guy through the hoop.
NG THIS SC RIPT BREAKS FEDERAL CO PYRIGHT LAWS
40
52
is it?
DOROTHY : (Quickly runs over and grabs it.) That's Tin Man's oil can!
times! Tin doesn'tMAD HATTER: Shhh! (Shakes his head.) You've got to concede, Hare.
Some people simply never learn!
53
1 TIN MAN: (Starts to loosen up.) Ah! Dorothy! Dorothy! How I've longed to
see you since we parted! (MUSIC CUE 9d: "Recitation-Underscore."
Sighs and recites.) When thus it was, we two parted
In dreadful silence and in tears,
s
'Twas I alone, half-broken hearted
To sever for so many years. (MUSIC OUT.)
ALICE: (Sighs.) That 's very lovely.
SCARECROW: What happened to you, Tin Man?
TIN MAN: The King of Hearts came and arrested me. It was all a
10
mistake , of course. I hadn't done anything! But he left my oil can
behind and then brought me here, through a terrible rainstorm,
and I rusted up solid. And it was in the nick of time, too! The
Queen was just about to have my head removed!
DOROTHY: Oh, my!
1s TIN MAN: I know. I never thought I'd be so glad to rust, but this time
it may have just saved my life!
LION: That's a relief.
TIN MAN: Well, it wasn't all bad. I had lots of time to think about
everything I love in the world. That reminds me! Listen to this!
20
25
3o
1 KNIGHT:
LION: (Shields ALICE.) She didn't do anything!
SCARECROW: What's going on here?
5
HEARTS, KING OF HEARTS, WHITE RABBIT and EXTRA CARDS and
CHESS PIECES ENTER LEFT. MUSIC OUT.)
KING OF HEARTS: What's going on over here? There's too much
10
15
20
25
shoulder.)
SCARECROW: Well, we're glad you're back with us, Tin Man, but we
35
40
mustn't waste another moment. Dorothy and her friend... (Looks
around and sees FIVE staring him down.) ...Beatrice must defeat
the Queen of Hearts at croquet before the wizard will help them
get home, but it's proving nearly impossible!
TIN MAN: Even though Iwas rusted, I saw it all,and I must say it does
look very difficult.
LION: Go on, Beatrice. You have to give it another try!
ALICE : Very well. But my hedgehog ended up all the way over there!
I fear I'll never win this dreadful game! (Marches toward the place
LION: They think she stole the Queen 's tarts, but I saw the whole thing.
It was the Knave of Hearts! (MUSIC CUE 9f: "Fanfare." QUEEN OF
(MUSIC CUE 9e: "Recitation-Underscore." Recites.)
My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky.
So was it when my life began.
So is it now I am a man.
So be it when I shall grow old
Or let me rust again and die! (MUSIC OUT.)
MARCH HARE: (Tears up.) Oh! It's so beautiful!
MAD HATTER: (Tries to be strong.) A lovely sentiment, really. And
you recite it so very well. (Crumbles into tears on MARCH HARE 'S
(Sees ALICE and shouts.) That's her! That's her! (To ALICE.)
Stop right there!
30
35
shouting! Why have you disrupted our game?
KNIGHT: (Kneels.) My King. I do not wish to get in the way of your
pleasantries. However, it seems that we have found the fugitive.
KING OF HEARTS: Which one?
KNIGHT: Alice. (Points to her.)
KING OF HEARTS: Nonsense! That girl's name is Beatrice.
KNIGHT: But I saw her with my own eyes. She was at the scene of
the crime.
KING OF HEARTS: Seize her! (CARDS and CHESS PIECES rush ALICE
and LION. Seeing no way out, they easily give in.) What shall we do
with her, my Queen?
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Crosses to ALICE and looks her over closely.) Off
with her head!
DOROTHY: Oh, my!
SEVEN: Don't forget the other suspect, Your Majesty.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: What other suspect?
SEVEN: The Knave of Hearts. You had us seal him in the dungeon,
remember?
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Oh, yes! (Excited.) Ooh! How exciting! You know
what this means, don't you?
KING OF HEARTS: Yes. We must have a trial.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Indeed! Come! We must hold court at once!
Someone 's head will roll for this, and I shan't be kept waiting!
(MUSIC CUE 9g: "Processional-Scene Change." QUEEN OF HEARTS
marches OFF LEFT. OTHERS follow behind as the LIGHTS FADE to
BLACK. MUSIC OUT.)
End of Scene Three
where her hedgehog ended up. Before she can exit, KNIGHT ENTERS
RIGHT. ALICE sees him and screams.) Lion! (Runs to LION.)
54
55
ACT TWO
Scene Four - The Trial
1 LIGHTS UP: The Queen 's courtroom. Typical courtroom setup with a
table and chair for the judge, a witness chair next to this, a table with
typewriter and chair, prosecution and defense tables and chairs, and
chairs for the gallery. There is a glass of water on the defense table.
5 QUEEN OF HEARTS sits in the judge's box. SEVEN sits at the
typewriter as the courtroom stenographer. FIVE acts as the Bailiff.
KNAVE OF HEARTS sits in the witness box. WHITE RABBIT heads up
the prosecution along with KING OF HEARTS and CARDS or CHESS
PIECES. SCARECROW heads up the defense, where ALICE sits as both
10 suspect and witness. DOROTHY, TIN MAN and SCARECROW also sit
at the defense table. DORMOUSE sleeps nearby. There is no jury, but
MAD HATTER and MARCH HARE sit in the gallery along with the rest of
the CAST, except for GLINDA. KNAVE OF HEARTS is at the end of his
testimony.
15 WHITE RABBIT : And what was in your bag when Lion gave it to the
footman?
KNAVE OF HEARTS: (Innocent.) Why, nothing but my collection of
charts. (GALLERY gasps.)
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Pounds her gavel.) Silence!
20 WHITE RABBIT: Could you repeat that? For the record?
KNAVE OF HEARTS: The bag was full of charts. (WHITE RABBIT nods
to SEVEN, who types furiously.)
WHITE RABBIT: There you have it! The Knave of Hearts didn't steal
25
the tarts, Your Majesty. The Knave of Hearts merely collected
charts! (Bows.) The prosecution rests.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (To KNAVE OF HEARTS.) You may step down.
(KNAVE OF HEARTS stands and crosses to the prosecution table.)
30
35
40
Defense, you 're up!
SCARECROW : Your Majesty, I would like to first ask that all references
to my client as the defense be stricken from the record. It's very
clear that the Knave of Hearts is the one on trial here.
WHITE RABBIT: Objection!
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (To WHITE RABBIT.) Denied! (To SCARECROW )
And denied! Let the record show that both parties are guilty until
proven innocent. (SEVEN nods.)
WHITE RABBIT: But, Your MajestyQUEEN OF HEARTS: (Pounds her gavel.) Denied! ( WHITE RABBIT
returns to his table.)
SCARECROW: Secondly, Your Honor, Your Majesty, I would also like to
ask that the Knave's entire testimony be stricken from the record.
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56
1 QUEEN OF HEARTS: Denied!
MARCH HARE: (To MAD HATTER.) Ooh! This is getting good!
SCARECROW : Very well. Then, I would like to call my client to the
stand. (ALICE stands and crosses to the witness stand.)
5
FIVE: (Holds up his hand. ALICE does the same.) Do you swear to tell
the Queen she's pretty and do nothing but flatter and obey her at
all times, so help your head?
ALICE: I do. (Sits. FIVE steps aside.)
SCARECROW: Where were you on the day the tarts were stolen?
10 QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Pounds her gavel.) Objection!
SCARECROW: On what grounds?
QUEEN OF HEARTS: I don't like how you asked the question.
SCARECROW: Pardon me, Your Honor, Your Majesty. (To ALICE.) Were
you there on the day the tarts were stolen? (Looks up at QUEEN OF
15
HEARTS , who nods her approval .)
ALICE: Yes.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Off with her head! (GALLERY gasps.)
SCARECROW: Objection! (GALLERY gasps.)
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Denied!
20
SCARECROW: That is not an admission of guilt, Your Majesty. After
all, if she was there, she may have information about the true
stealer of the tarts.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Very well. Proceed.
SCARECROW : (To ALICE.) And what did you see when you first arrived?
25 ALICE: · I saw the tarts sitting on a table.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Off with her head! (GALLERY gasps .)
SCARECROW: Objection! (GALLERY gasps.) Your Honor, may I approach
the bench?
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Granted.
30 SCARECROW: Your Honor, it's much too hasty to sentence anyone. If
you just wait a moment, you'll see that the Knave is the one who 's
guilty and then you can sentence him. And ... you're very pretty.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Very well. Continue.
TIN MAN: Oh,dear! This isn't going well! Ifear the poor girl is doomed!
35 LION: Don't be scared, Tin Man. I saw the whole thing and Alice is
completely innocent. Don't worry. Scarecrow will work it all out.
TIN MAN: I certainly hope so.
SCARECROW: (To ALICE.) And what happened next?
ALICE : That's when the Knave came in and stole the tarts!
57
For the record, can you identify the Knave? Is he sitting
in this courtroom?
ALICE : Yes! He's right over there! (GALLERY gasps.)
WHITE RABBIT: Objection!
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Overruled!
WHITE RABBIT: But, Your Majesty! She just implicated my client.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Silence or I'll hold you in contempt! (GALLERY
1 SCARECROW:
5
1 DOROTHY : (Sings.) You're nothing but a wicked ol' witch,
And we have seen our share!
GROUP ONE: (Sing.) Yes , you're nothing but a wicked ol' witch!
Time someone took you down!
5
gasps.)
MAD HATTER: (To MARCH HARE.) But she already holds everyone in
10
15
20
25
30
35
contempt.
LION: (Stands and points out KNAVE OF HEARTS.) I saw him, too! He
did it, Your Honor!
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Pounds her gavel.) Order! Sit down or I'll have
your head, too!
LION: You're just full of hot air! I'm not afraid of you! (GALLERY gasps.)
QUEEN OF HEARTS: So be it. (Pounds her gavel.) Off with his head!
(CHESS PIECES go for him.)
LION: (Puts up his fists.) Come on, then. Who's first? I'm not afraid!
(CHESS PIECES, now scared, keep their distance.)
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Pounds her gavel.) Off with his head! Off with his
head! Get him!
DOROTHY: No! Stop it! He didn't do anything!
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Continues to shout.) Off with his head!
DOROTHY: Stop it! He doesn't deserve this!
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Off with his head! And when you're done with
him, remove hers next! (Points to DOROTHY.)
DOROTHY: No! No! No! Why, you 're no queen! (MUSIC CUE 10: "Wicked
Of' Witch." [DOROTHY, ALICE, SCARECROW, TIN MAN and LION are
GROUP ONE; QUEEN OF HEARTS, KING OF HEARTS, WHITE RABBIT,
KNAVE OF HEARTS, FIVE and SEVEN are GROUP TWO.] Speaks.)
You're nothing but a wicked ol' witch!
(Sings.) How dare you threaten us!
You 're nothing but a fancy piece of cardboard!
All you can muster is your bluster, and we've had enough!
SCARECROW/TIN MAN/LION: (Sing.) Try your darndest to berate us.
You will not intimidate us!
GROUP ONE: (Sing.) There 's nothing to you.
We see through you.
Time to call your bluff!
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Without your crown, no one will care!
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Sings.)
10
I'm shown undying love and loyalty from all in my dominion.
I barely clap,and they all snap to meet my every whim.
Their kneeling and their bowing
Warms my heart as they're kowtowing.
And if they don't, I'll have them torn limb from limb.
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Off with her head!
.Off with her head!
We won't be happy 'til she's dead, dead, dead!
Off with her head!
She stole the tarts!
Her head's been doomed right from the start! (WINK/ES [SOLDIERS
of the WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST from the land of OZ] suddenly
appear, MARCHING IN.The QUEEN OF HEARTS and GROUP TWO are
startled, confused by the entrance of the SOLDIERS .)
WINKIES: (Sing.) Yo-o-ee-o, yo-ee-o!
Yo-o-ee-o, yo-ee-o! (The following two stanzas are sung as a duet.)
GROUP ONE: (Sing.) You have picked a worthy foe.
We're brave and ready to do battle.
You'll never rattle us with all your prattle, threats and cries!
WINKIES: (Sing.) Yo-o-ee-o, yo-o-ee-o!
Yo-o-ee-o, yo-ee-o! (The following two stanzas are sung as a duet.)
GROUP TWO: (Sing.) You haven't got a prayer.
You're staring at your final hour.
Who 'll volunteer to be the first one who dies?
WINKIES: (Sing.) Yo-o-ee-o, yo-o:ee-o!
Yo-o-ee-o, yo-ee-o! (The following three stanzas are sung as a trio.)
GROUP ONE: (Sing.) You're nothing but a wicked ol' witch!
And we have seen our share.
Your game of treachery will leave you playing solitaire.
Yes, you're nothing but a wicked ol' witch,
Dealing a crooked deck!
You've just stuck out your neck!
GROUP TWO: (Sing.) Off with their heads!
Off with their heads! ·
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5
10
15
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30
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We won't be happy 'til they're dead, dead, dead!
Off with their heads!
Off with their heads!
You've just stuck out your neck!
WINKIES: (Sing.) Yo-o-ee-o, yo-o-ee-o!
Yo-o-ee-o, yo-o!
Yo-o-ee-o, yo-o-ee-o!
Yo-o! (MUNCHKINS ENTER.)
MUNCHKINS: (Sing.) We just arrived from Munchkin Land,
From Munchkin Land, from Munchkin Land!
We just arrived from Munchkin Land!
And we don't know where the heck we are!
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Speaks. Angry and confused.) Where did all
these people come from? (The following section is sung as a TRIO.)
GROUP ONE: (Sing.) You're nothing but a wicked ol' witch!
A queen without a heart.
Your evil can't survive, the truth will tear your world apart.
Yes,you're nothing but a wicked ol' witch!
The world will vilify!
GROUP TWO: (Sing.) Off with your heads!
MUNCHKINS : (Sing.) They'll swim in red!
GROUP TWO: (Sing.) Off with your heads!
MUNCHKINS: (Sing.) The truth said.
GROUP TWO/MUNCHKINS: (Sing.) We won't be happy
'Til you're dead, dead, dead!
GROUP TWO: (Sing.) Off with your heads!
MUNCHKINS: (Sing.) The people cry!
GROUP TWO: (Sing.) Off with your heads!
MUNCHKINS: (Sing.) Say goodbye!
WINKIES: (Sing.) Yo-o-ee-o, yo-o-ee-o!
Yo-o-ee-o, yo-o!
Yo-o-ee-o, yo-o-ee-o! Yo-o! (End of TRIO.)
GROUP ONE/GROUP TWO: (Sing.) Your case is built upon a lie!
ALL: (Sing.) Your turn to die! (MUSIC OUT. DOROTHY grabs a glass of
water from the defense table and throws it on QUEEN OF HEARTS.
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5
GLINDA : Hello, everyone!
DOROTHY: It's Glinda! The good witch of the north! Oh, how happy we
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are to see you!
GLINDA: And the same to you.
TIN MAN: You just have to help us.
LION: The Queen is going to have our heads.
GLINDA: Is that so?
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KING OF HEARTS: Yes! And she won't be kept waiting. (MUSIC OUT.)
GLINDA: Well, I'm afraid you'll be waiting for a very long time. After all,
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GALLERY gasps.)
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Carefully fixes her hair and composes herself.
Then, rages.) Off with her head! Off with it at once! Off I say! (Chaos
breaks out in the courtroom. CARDS and CHESS PIECES attempt to
seize DOROTHY and LION. ALICE, SCARECROW and TIN MAN step in
to help their friends. KING and QUEEN OF HEARTS are shouting out
orders. MARCH HARE and MAD HATTER sip tea and clap, enjoying
the show, as do the OTHERS in the gallery. KNAVE OF HEARTS tries
to sneak away, but TOTO chases after him, barking. MUSIC CUE 10a:
"Glinda 's Entrance-Underscore. " ALL pause and look around to see
where the musicis coming from. It's in this momentary silence that
GLINDA ENTERS. MUSIC UNDER the following dialogue.)
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you can't bring any harm to Dorothy. Not as long as she's wearing
those slippers. (Points her wand at DOROTHY'S silver slippers.)
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Then, off with her shoes!
GLINDA: (Laughs.) You won't get far with that either. The girl's shoes
hold a strong enchantment. You can't touch her.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Fine. Then, off with Alice's head.
GLINDA: (Points her wand at QUEEN OF HEARTS.) I wouldn 't do that if
I were you.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: What's this? A threat against the Queen? Off with
the witch's head!
GLINDA: I'd like to see you try. With a simple flick of my wand , Icould
turn you all into spades.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: You wouldn 't.
GLINDA: Try me.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: (Very angry.) What is it you want?
GLINDA: Why, I only want to help. I believe I can help you all actually.
KING OF HEARTS: How's that?
GLINDA : Well,you want to get rid of these girls, Alice and Dorothy, and
their friends. And they only wish to get home. I can help you all.
QUEEN OF HEARTS: Very well, but you don't make the rules here. I
do. And, besides,they still must be sentenced. Therefore, I invoke
rule forty-three . All persons from other lands must go back to their
land at once. And if I see any of these scoundrels in my gardens
again, it'll be... off with their heads! Court dismissed. (EXITS in a
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huff. KING OF HEARTS, WHITE RABBIT, CHESS PIECES, CARDS and
the remainder of the GALLERY, except for MAD HATTER and MARCH
HARE, EX IT.)
ALICE : (Runs to GLINDA.) You mean you can really help me return
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home?
GLINDA: Yes.
ALICE: But you couldn't before.
DOROTHY: You mean, you two have already met?
GLINDA: Why, yes, when Ifirst came to this Wonderland to help you.
10 ALICE: I'm sorry. Iforgot to tell you she was looking for you, Dorothy.
So much has been happening. (To GLINDA.) How can you help me
get home now?
GLINDA: Now that I know how magic works in this land, I can have
you home in a matter of moments. All you have to do is drink the
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potion you've been carrying with you all this time.
ALICE: Oh, my! (Reaches into her pocket and pulls out a tiny bottle.)
But I was afraid this would make me grow smaller again.
GLINDA : No. Didn't you read the label?
ALICE: Why, yes! It only said, "Drink me."
20 GLINDA: Well then?
ALICE: Well, everything else I drank changed my size so I supposed
this would, too! (Looks at GLINDA.) But... Ifound this when I first
arrived here! I could have been home ages ago!
GLINDA: (Laughs.) Sometimes it's better to take the journey than to
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simply skip to the end.
DOROTHY : But what about all the people of Wonderland?
GLINDA : What about them?
DOROTHY: We haven't beaten the Queen at croquet. The wizard said
she'll enslave them all unless we beat her. (CARDS and CHESS
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PIECES ENTER, line up and kneel.)
KNIGHT: Alice, Dorothy and friends, allows us to show you all our
deepest gratitude.
ALICE : Why's that?
SEVEN: You stood up to the Queen.
35 KNIGHT: You showed great bravery. If you're brave enough to face her,
then we think that we can, too.
DOROTHY : Soyou won't allow her to enslave the people of Wonderland?
FIVE: No. We never wanted to help her, but we were just so afraid.
DOROTHY : Then the wizard was right. It was all just a show!
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1 KNIGHT:
We only ask that you would lead us as we face the wicked
one, Your Majesties.
ALICE: Your Majesties?
FIVE: You're our queens now.
5 DOROTHY: Oh, my!
ALICE: Oh, but we can't. We must be getting back home to our loved
ones.
KNIGHT: Then who shall lead us?
DOROTHY: I know just the pair. The Hare and the Hatter shall lead
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you.
MARCH HARE: (Looks up, surprised.) What's that? I thought I heard
my name!
SCARECROW : You did.
MAD HATTER: But how are we to lead the people? It's tea time.
15 SCARECROW : Then, your first decree should be to find Time to make
amends. Or... perhaps you could simply have your watch fixed.
That way, you'll be free to rule.
MARCH HARE: But they all think us mad.
DOROTHY : You are not mad. You just see things differently. And that's
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a good thing. (To CARDS and CHESS PIECES.) They shall lead you.
KNIGHT: And we shall follow. Thank you, once again, Queen Alice
and Queen Dorothy. (ALICE and DOROTHY bow to them. CARDS and
CHESS PIECES stand and EXIT.)
SCARECROW : (To ALICE and DOROTHY.) That was a very wise thing
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you did there.
TIN MAN: Oh, dear! It's all so wonderful, I'm getting all misty-eyed!
DOROTHY : Oh, do be careful , Tin Man. You'll get all rusted up again.
LION: All right,then. What about Dorothy?
TIN MAN: Yeah! You said you could help her, too!
30 GLINDA: I can. And I will. It's as easy as can be. After all, she wears
the silver slippers. All it takes is three clicks of the heels and the
slippers will take her wherever she wishes to go. She could have
returned home the very day she put them on.
DOROTHY : Really? All this time Ihad the power to go home and didn't
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know?
GLINDA: Yes. You could have gone home as soon as you put them on
in Munchkin Land.
SCARECROW : (To DOROTHY.) But then you might have never helped
me find the Wizc;ird to get my brains.
40 TIN MAN: And I my heart!
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1 LION:
And I might have never found my courage! (MAD HATTER and
(Sings.) Though you're all such dears,
It seems like years since I have seen my home.
ALICE : (Sings.) There's nowhere else where I'd rather be.
ALICE/ DOROTHY: (Sing.) Now, I know what my'home.means to me.
1 DOROTHY :
MARCH HARE cross to DOROTHY.)
MARCH HARE: (Sad.) I guess this means we will never enjoy the
pleasure of having you both for tea?
5 DOROTHY: No. I'm sure it would have been lovely!
ALICE: But thank you for the invitation.
MARCH HARE: Oh, no! You're not invited.
ALICE: (Confused.) Oh.
MAD HATTER : We would invite you, but I'm afraid you'd find us to be
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terrible,terrible hosts.
DOROTHY : What makes you say that?
MAD HATTER : We're completely out of butter! (DOROTHY and ALICE
laugh.)
SCARECROW: (Pats MAD HATTER and MARCH HARE on the shoulder.)
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Good luck finding Gertrude and Hermione, but I especially hope
you find Time.
MAD HATTER : Yes, indeed. He's a rascally fellow, but he'll turn up.
(MUSIC CUE 11: "Back Where It All Began.")
TIN MAN: (Speaks.) Can you really help us get back to Oz, too?
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GLINDA: (Speaks.) Of course! I'll take you with me. After all, I must
return home, too!
SCARECROW: (Speaks.) Hmmm. I hadn't thought of that!
(Speaks.) But first, we must get these young ladies off to
their homes. (To ALICE and DOROTHY.) Very well, girls. You know
what to do.
DOROTHY: (Speaks.) Come, Toto! Aunt Em and Uncle Henry are
waiting.
ALICE : (Speaks.) Oh, I'll bet Dinah is waiting for me, too! Oh, how I
miss her so!
DOROTHY: (Sings.) Time to run. Time to fly.
I'm so happy I could almost cry.
Though I'll miss you so, it's good to know
I'm finally going home.
ALICE: (Sings.) I'm finally going home
To embrace that one space that nothing can replace.
GLINDA: (Sings.) Time to travel back where it all began.
TIN MAN: (Sings.) Warms my heart.
LION: (Sings.) Calms my fear.
SCARECROW: (Sings.) All my thoughts are coming crystal clear.
GLINDA:
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DOROTHY/ALICE/SCARECROW/TIN MAN/LION/GLINDA: (Sing.)
Time to trave l back where it all began.
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GLINDA: (Sings.) Places come , places go,
Some are worlds away,
But there 's just one place that draws the soul.
10 DOROTHY: (Sings.) People come.
ALICE: (Sings.) People go.
DOROTHY/ALICE : (Sing.) Never long to stay.
Still they live on
In memories,
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On in the stories that make us whole!
ENSEMBLE : (Sings.) Only one place is home.
Doesn't matter where you choose to roam.
Home will let you go,
But you will always know
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It's waiting there to share
Another day, another year.
Doesn't matter if it's far or near.
There's one single track.
Take it while you can.
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Time to travel back...
DOROTHY/ALICE: (Sing.) Where it all began.
DOROTHY: (Speaks to OTHERS.) Goodbye! (Quick goodbye hugs, adlibs, etc. ALICE drinks from the bottle as DOROTHY co
l ses her eyes
and clicks her heels. OTHERS ad-lib their goodbyes as the LIGHTS
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FADE to BLACK. MUSIC OUT.)
END OF MUSICAL
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CURTA IN CALL
MUSIC CUE 11a: "Curtain Call-Two Worlds-Epilogue. LIGHTS UP:
ENSEMBLE ENTERS for bows.
ENSEMBLE : (After bows, sings.) Two worlds, curious faces .
Can't help but wonder who they are.
Topsy and turvy, don't know inside from out,
Fumbling about.
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Two worlds, quirkiest places.
'Round every corner hides a surprise.
Something astounding, strangely dumbfounding.
Logic defying, there's no denying,
Things are off kilter and something's the tilter.
Mingling and mangling, watch it untangling
Right before your very eyes. (ENSEMBLE EXITS in all directions.
LIGHTS FADE to BLACK. MUSIC OUT.)
PRODUCTION NOTES
PROPERTIES ON STAGE
ACT ONE
Scene One: Large hot air balloon cutout with ropes
Scene Two: Mushroom for Caterpillar to sit on
Scene Three: Short wall for Humpty Dumpty to sit on
Scene Six: Long table with several tea settings ,teapot, pocket watch
in a butter dish, extra hat for Mad Hatter, travelling bag
Scene Seven: Red table
Scene Eight: Hedge with white and red roses (reverse side of Humpty
Dumpty's wall used in Scene Three)
Scene Nine: Wizard 's door, screen,stool
ACT TWO
Scene Two : Tree with wanted poster, large rock, extra hat for Mad
Hatter
Scene Three: Hedge with white and red roses
Scene Four: Table and chair for judge box, table with typewriter and
chair, chair for witness box, prosecution and defense tables and
chairs, chairs for gallery, glass of water on defense table
PROPERTIES BROUGHT ON
ACT ONE
Scene One: Umbrella, hat, yellow brick,map, books, orange marmalade
(CREW/EXTRAS)
Scene Two : Bubbles (CATERPILLAR)
Scene Seven: Baking sheet with tarts (FISH FOOTMAN)
Empty bag or satchel, bag of charts (KNAVE OF HEARTS)
Scene Eight: Paint can, paintbrush (CARDS)
Rope (KNAVE OF HEARTS)
Scene Nine: Invitation, wanted poster (FISH FOOTMAN)
ACT TWO
Scene Three: Teapot, watch (MAD HATIER)
Flamingo mallets, hedgehogs (CARDS)
Invitation (DOROTHY)
Oil can (CHESHIRE CAT ONE)
Scene Four : Gavel (QUEEN OF HEARTS)
Bottle of potion (ALICE)
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FLEXIBLE CASTING
Many of the characters are written as male in the books, which is why
so many of them are written as male in the script. However,almost all
of the characters may be played as either male or female by changing
the gender related terms that refer to the characters. The exceptions
would be DOROTHY, ALICE, TIN MAN, WIZARD, GLINDA, KING OF
HEARTS and QUEEN OF HEARTS, whose roles are gender specific and
must be played as such.
For a larger cast, a large CHORUS can be used as additional
OZIANS, DANCERS, PLAYING CARDS, CHESS PIECES, WINKIES and
MUNCHKINS. Roles with spoken lines, such as the FLOWERS, CHESS
PIECES and CARDS , may be split into extra parts.
For a smaller cast, several parts may be doubled, including: WIZARD,
GLINDA, FLOWERS, HUMPTY DUMPTY, CHESS PIECES, TWEEDLE DEE,
TWEEDLE OUM, FROG FOOTMAN, FISH FOOTMAN, CHESHI RE CATS,
PLAYING CARDS, WINKIES and MUNCHKINS. For more doubling
information about which characters are in each scene, see the
character/scene breakdown in the director's book.
COSTUME SUGGESTIONS
There are no specific costume requirements for this play. Feel free to
unleash your imagination. These are merely suggestions.
SCARECROW wears a pair of worn jeans or overalls and a plain or
flannel shirt. Straw should peek out from the cuffs and ankles.
TIN MAN is dressed in gray or silver attire to make him appear metallic.
Duct tape can also create an effective illusion. When not rusted,
he carries his oil can.
DOROTHY wears silver slippers, as in the original L. Frank Baum book.
{Red slippers were MGM's creation for their first color movie in
1939 and are not in the public domain.)
MAD HADER, MARCH HARE and DORMOUSE are dressed in
fancy Victorian attire, suitable for tea-time , with whatever odd
embellishments seem to suit them. MAD HADER wears at least
three different hats over the course of the show. MARCH HARE
should have rabbit ears.
WHITE RABBIT is dressed sharply, carries a pocket watch and should
have rabbit ears and perhaps a tail.
GLINDA is dressed in a fancy elaborate gown and carries a wand.
OZIANS are all from the Emerald City and should wear green clothing,
hats and accessories.
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CARDS, including the KING and QUEEN OF HEARTS, may be made
from a foam or cardboard square, painted or stitched to look like
the cards they represent. However, they do not have to look like
playing cards and may also be dressed in extravagant, court-like
attire with embellishments that indicate their rank.
Similarly, CHESS PIECES should be dressed in red and may be adorned
with red hats that signify their character or rank in some way. For
instance, the knight may wear a knight's helmet or a hat with a
horse's head to indicate the chess piece he represents.
FLOWERS can wear headgear with petals or makeup to indicate the
flower they represent. For instance, TIGER LILY might wear a
headpiece with petals and makeup with whiskers.
HOT AIR BALLOON
The hot air balloon should be a cutout that is built on a rolling platform.
As the balloon " lifts off " with WIZARD inside, it merely rolls offstage,
controlled by OZIAN EXTRAS. If a full size hot air balloon set piece is
beyond the production's means, then the hot air balloon action may
be staged completely OFFSTAGE. WIZARD can shout his lines in the
balloon from OFF RIGHT. Ropes that appear to secure the offstage
balloon to the ground can extend ON from the STAGE RIGHT wings and
the OZIAN EXTRAS can hold them down and appear to be dragged OFF
by them.
THE TORNADO AND THE RABBIT HOLE
Stage this however you envision. The directions here are merely a guide
to get you started, but each production will have its own unique take.
For starters,during the first section, the characters from Oz are caught
in a tornado and should move around the stage, spinning and seeming
to be in flight. DANCERS wearing all black and holding black streamers
run circles around the stage so that the streamers create the effect of
a tornado. DANCERS will also bring in the various props that seem to
be swirling in the storm.
During the next part and after the OZ characters are separated,
DOROTHY and TOTO begin to fall down the rabbit hole and into
Wonderland. DOROTHY and TOTO should no longer spin about the
stage during this second half, but they should give the impression that
they are falling, with lifted arms and moving only incrementally as if to
seem weightless. Wires and fancy flying mechanisms are not needed
for either part. All that is needed is the right choreography. DANCERS
once again bring in props as if they are floating around with DOROTHY
and TOTO as they fall.
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THE WIZARD'S HOUSE
In ACT ONE, Scene Nine, the WIZARD'S house can be as simple as
a free-standing door defining the front of the house. Characters pass
through the door and "into" the house, though the interior does not
require anything more than the screen that the Wizard hides behind.
The scene can also be played without any set pieces. Simply use the
far side of the stage apron as the entryway. When characters "enter"
the house, they simply step onto the stage. DOROTHY can knock on
the stage wall.
CHASING THE CHESHIRE CAT
The chasing of the CHESHIRE CAT is meant to be a fun way to show
how the cat can vanish into thin air. And who doesn 't love a good chase
scene, right? Obviously, an actor cannot vanish into thin air. However,
three actors can give the illusion of disappearing and reappearing.
That's why there are three CHESHIRE CATS moving about the stage.
The trick will be to make your three cats look as identical as possible
with costuming and makeup. Matching masks could work, too . The
three actors should also try to have similar voices and mannerisms as
the cat, so they give the impression that all three of them are actually
the same character that keeps popping up in different places.
The staging is merely suggested and may be changed to suit your
needs. Since each cat essentially hides, it is DOROTHY, TOTO, ALICE
and LION who will help the most in giving the audience the impression
that the cat has vanished. A particularly effective way to stage this is
already suggested. CAT ONE runs behind the tree, but does not appear
on the other side. TOTO chases after the CAT and does appear on
the other side. This moment should happen quickly, timed so that it
appears CAT just vanished right in front of TOTO. With a little practice,
it's a pretty easy and very cool illusion to make happen with very little
technical requirements.
CATCHING ALICE RD-HANDED
This stage illusion is very simple... Just ·have ALICE'S hand smeared
with a little bit of red prior to her entrance. She will need to keep her
hands concealed for a few lines, but this means KNAVE OF HEARTS
doesn't need to worry about sneakily smearing her hands mid-scene.
Of course, if you prefer,you can do it that way.
CROQUET
If possible, it would be great fun to use flamingos as mallets,
hedgehogs for balls and the CARDS as the arches, just like it is in
Alice in Wonderland. The flamingos could be either the iconic plastic
lawn ornament flamingos or painted cutouts . All that is needed for the
hedgehogs is round, fluffy stuffed animals.
If you wish to use proper croquet equipment instead, the lines may be
adjusted to suit your needs.
CHARACTER NOTES
The MAD HATIER and MARCH HARE, admittedly, don't make much
sense. But that's the point. They are mad. And while great care has
been taken to question whether they are really mad or actually quite
clever but misunderstood, their apparent madness remains. The best
advice here is to own it. Play the part the way that makes sense to
you. Get into their imagination. Get into their worries and concerns.
The only way that these parts can be played incorrectly is to play it safe
and hold back. So go for it, whatever direction that may be, and more
importantly, have fun with it.
The same goes for every other character. Go for it and have fun!
This scene could be done with a single actor by combining all of the
lines. As for staging this with one actor,you would probably need stage
curtains and sneaky ways for the actor to disappear from one point on
the stage and reappear in another, say, by slipping through curtains
and running backstage to appear on another side of the stage. Feel
free to be creative to meet your particular staging needs and, most
importantly, have fun with it!
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
As a former teacher of English literature, I feel I would be missing
a perfect teaching opportunity if I didn't recommend the reading of
the great works that inspired this play. For further enjoyment and
understanding of the play, I highly recommend that you have your
cast and/or student audiences read Alice in Wonderland, Through the
Looking Glass and The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Lewis Carroll and L.
Frank Baum also wrote many additional works worthy of reading, and
of course their work inspired many stage and film adaptations. All of
their work is now firmly established as classic literature. Very fun and
meaningful reading, familiarity with these original sources will add a
great deal to the appreciation of this play.
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