A publication of
Great Adventure 2000
A Non-Profit Corporation Dedicated to
Space-Age Literacy, Unlimited
Twenty-first century approaches
to easier, speedier acquisition
of reading and writing skills
Translation, Text and Illustrations
by
Wendell H. Hall
Permission granted for non-commercial duplication
for use as work sheets
Copyright © 1996 by Great Adventure 2000
Introduction
The Commissioner of Education of one of the largest U.S. states has stated: “The number of
functional illiterates in our country is alarming, and a means of helping these individuals is urgent
for their well-being as well as for our nation.” Educators, government officials, and citizens everywhere concur. Sadly, however, what to do is stuck in the rut of an endless, obfuscating debate over
‘Phonics’ vs. ‘Whole Language,’ neither of which has a hope in Hades of untying the Gordian knot
with which our ancient spelling has hogtied us.
As has oft been noted, ‘Phonics’ trips over its own name, suggesting p-honics. Give its proponents credit, however, for fostering a system that is 100% sound for Spanish, Finnish and other
languages with decent alphabets. ‘Sounding out,’ when it works, is without question the soundest
way to go, but with a spelling that has been mixed up and messed up for centuries, not only beginners but advanced readers too can only guess wildly at the pronunciation of every unfamiliar word.
(‘Epitome,’ for example, ‘logically,’ confidently and erroneously pronounced ‘ep5tom’ instead of
‘5p5t4-mi.’) The problem is not with p-honics but with our unbelievably archaic, incredibly irregular,
unpredictable non-system of spelling.
As for ‘Whole Language’ (which essentially means copious reading of appealing, interesting,
enthusiasm-generating texts rather than dull, boring, artificial ‘phonics’ ones), with a respectable
alphabet even little kindergartners will be able to handle anything at all in terms of sounding it out,
and the only challenge will be the the rate at which they can build their vocabularies—most commonly simply by deriving meanings from context, though glossaries and graphic illustrations of
meanings could be part of every beginning reader. With Space-Age reform of our Dark-Ages spelling, ‘Learning to read by reading’ will automatically become a commonplace everyday reality for us.
Take a look at the posters on the following pages to stimulate your thinking in this regard.
Shouldn’t it mortify us to the very core to know that countries like Bolivia and Cuba, thanks to a
nearly perfect Spanish alphabet, are leaving us in the dust in terms of eliminating illiteracy? This
despite the fact that unlike us they are unable to throw billions of dollars at the problem. Are we
going to continue to throw money down a rat hole or come to our senses and cut the alphabetical
Gordian knot that’s got us so hogtied that we just keep stumbling along with no real progress?
The valuable i.t.a. (initial teaching alphabet) experiments carried out in both the United Kingdom
and the United States suggest effective techniques for accelerating the acquisition of reading skills
while simultaneously implementing spelling reform. Unfortunately, the i.t.a focus was exclusively on
children, whereas it must always be incumbent on adults to set the example and lead the way.
Narrowly intended for teaching reading in the first grades only, with no commitment beyond throwing out a lifesaver temporarily for children rather than a permanent lifeline not only for them but for
all of us, the i.t.a. approach acquired no momentum.
Taking a leaf from i.t.a. (which employed some unnecessarily weird letters) and vastly improving
on it, Easy Speedy Readers® are designed to overwhelmingly demonstrate how speedy and easy
learning to read can be with a spelling that surpasses even that of Spanish—winning over even the
willfully blind among us prone to obstinately resist welcoming the light and opening their eyes.
Then at long last our own incomparably enlightened, progressive Space-Age generation will switch
to NuSpel without a hitch as the British monk Orm’s 800-year-old dream finally comes true. (See
poster #11.)
During a transition period, of course, all of us will be ‘biliterate’ in both NuSpel and OldSpel, just
like those now able to fluently read and write both OldSpel and shorthand, though NuSpel— hands
down, no contest at all—is much, much easier to learn. Like them—but much more so—we will
have every right to feel very proud of ourselves, able to ecstatically exclaim one day, “We did it!
They said it couldn’t be done, but we did it! We were there. We were part of it. We caught the
vision. We did our part and more!” And the rest of the world will exuberantly and incredulously join
in: “Those crazy Anglophones* actually did it!” *Speakers of English
The basic pattern for Easy Speedy Readers® presents the text in NuSpel first, then in OldSpel
with accompanying pronunciation guides in NuSpel, and finally in OldSpel. An effort is made to
enliven every text with illustrations which also help learners to readily grasp and retain meanings.
Additionally these afford opportunities for interaction through questions and comments based on
them. The same is true of the posters, which may require a little explanation and discussion to
help younger learners grasp the ideas presented and internalize a sense of being part of a great
adventure. Crucial points to consider:
1. An estimated 40 million Americans above age 15 are functional illiterates. Our children are
compelled to misspend years acquiring reading skills that ought to be totally—utterly—simple and
easy to learn. Years that should be devoted instead to other crucial, vital, exciting, enriching studies
and pursuits. The major culprit: our spelling system (NOT!)
2. Space-Age/Computer-Age technology greatly simplifies and facilitates the conversion of texts
of all kinds to NuSpel as well as its promotion and acceptance.
3. Dr. J. Donald Bowen of The Foreign Service Institute has employed an i.t.a. approach enabling foreigners to overcome our appalling spelling roadblock to learning English. Strenuous, innovative efforts to help foreigners and no comparable exertion in behalf of our struggling, precious
children?
4. Caring, concerned, effective interaction between learners, teachers and parents is an essential key to success. Appropriate materials should emphasize this. (A beginning reader that goes all
out to accomplish this: The Training Wheels Alphabet Book.)
5. Children are fascinated by language and are as open to stimulating novelty as the most
imaginative and creative of adults.
6. To adults some of the new NuSpel letters may seem odd, but to the young all the letters are
equally fresh and new. (Please see Poster #22.) Learning Russian, as just one example, requires
mastering a whole new alphabet. By contrast, learning a few additional NuSpel letters is a snap.
7. At first sight, with OldSpel there is no sure way to determine by ‘phonics’ how an English word
is pronounced. Shoes and toes, lose and hose, not to mention calliope, etc., etc. are just a few
among innumerable proofs of this.
8. A teacher or tutor cannot always be standing by to confirm, encourage and help, nor is it
feasible to expect children to apply complex rules and remember unpredictable exceptions that
baffle, confuse and deter adults.
9. With NuSpel it is not only possible but very simple and easy to represent the whole gamut of
English sounds and their combinations—not possible while some of them are orphans without
letters of their own. (See The Game of the Name, http://www.nuspel.org/phonics_games.)
10. Germany, Austria, Switzerland and Liechtenstein have recently joined together to reform the
spelling of German, a process expected to be irreversible by 2002. Even without reform, their system is far, far superior to our non-system, but they want to do every single thing in their power—right
down to perfecting the last jot and tittle—to facilitate efficient, rapid, painless acquisition of reading
and writing skills for their precious little ones. Are we so much less caring, concerned and capable
that we can’t do the same?
Some sample NuSpel Promotion Posters (1)
Sample NuSpel Promotion Posters (2)
Sample NuSpel Promotion Posters (3)
Sample NuSpel Promotion Posters (4)
Sample NuSpel Promotion Posters (5)
The NuSpel Power Alphabet
Based on General American English (GA)
Key
IPA*
Print and Writing
Names**
Notes
ate
big
cat»city»locion
e ˚e5¬
b
k»s»[
#
B
C
3
b
c
3
b4
s5[k
3
bi
si
Eight Ball Traditional <A> can be proBravo
»nounced as 3, a, 1, 2 or 4
Cedric
For homophones, foreign
do
kilo
fall
go
d
i
f
g
D
I
F
G
d
i
f
g
d4
i
f4
g4
di
i
ef
gi
Delta
Io
Foxtrot
Golf
hill
by
jay
kin
lock
mother
none
O.K.
pen
quiz/Iraq
run
sun
tall
U.S.A.
vim
win
exit
yet
zest
at
father
up»above
elbow
open
him
cot
ooze
book
cello
sin˚g¬
shall
the
think
measure
h
a5
d\
k
l
m
n
o ˚o8¬
p
kw»k
r
s
t
yu
v
w
ks»gz
j
z
æ
a»1
2
3
4
5
7
u
8
t[
`
[
=
]
\
H
^
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
(
V
W
X
Y
Z
A
!
@
E
$
%
&
U
*
)
~
{
+
}
|
h
6
j
k
l
m
n
o
p
q
r
s
t
9
v
w
x
y
z
a
1
2
e
4
5
7
u
8
0
`
[
=
]
\
h4
30
6
6
j4
j3
k4
k3
l4
el
m4 em
n4
en
o
o
p4
pi
kw4k k9
r4
1r
s4
es
t4
ti
9
9
v4
vi
w4 >>>
4ks eks
y4
w6
z4
zi
a
a
1
1
2
2
e
e
4
4
5
5
7
7
u
u
8
8
04
03
4`
e`
[4
[3
=4
=6
]4
]6
\4
\3
Hotel
Ice Cream
Juliet
Kilo
Lima
Mike
November
Ocean
Papa
Quebec
Romeo
Sierra
Tango
Uniform
Victor
Winter
X-ray
Yankee
Zulu
Alpha
Awesome
Amazin'
Echo
Avast
Indigo
Office
Umlaut
*gly
Cello
~4`4`4
Shadow
The Best
Thinker
Zsa Zsa
»words, names ˚optional¬
˚Moon of Jupiter¬
Never pronounced as in
»gem
Homophones ˚pik, piik, piq
»peak, peek, pique¬, etc.
(n6t4d over Yuna5ted; (.S.
»not Y.S.; ± homophones
˚double-9¬
For math, foreign words
»and optional use
˚@maz5n¬
˚$vast¬
More "closed" than /1/ and
»with a little lip-rounding
Never word-initial or word»final in English–yet.
Never word-initial in
»English–yet.
Rarely initial or final–yet
Diphthongs: a8 ˚cow¬, 75 ˚boy¬, e5 ˚eight¬, a5 ˚by¬, o8 ˚so¬. Note the e5, a5, o8 equivalents above. An illustration of the use of diphthongs in NuSpel: I like to refer to our grandson Joey as "Joi, boi, a84r pr6d
and joi ˚Joey boey, ouer pride and joey¬ rather than "Joi b75 a8r pr6d and j75" ˚Joey boy our pr6d and j75¬.
Copyright © 1994 by Wendell H. Hall (revised 11-25-1998)
*International Phonetic Alphabet
**First column, used in teaching learners to sound out words; second, how the letters are said–given in
NuSpel; the "seaspeak" designation, as the letters were spoken by the British so they could be heard
against a background of noise from the wind and the waves and in modern times against static, etc.
OldSpel Memory Grabbers*
An illustration of the transition from an Egyptian pictograph depicting an ox to a
symbol representing a sound.... Named aleph (ox) by the Phoenicians, it was converted to alpha by the Greeks and together with Semitic beth, meaning house, it formed
the basis for what we now call in English the alphabet. Note that Phoenician aleph
preserved a semblance of horns. Following the same model, we could call our English alphabet axbelt, for example. Early letters like the Sinai one made the sounds
associated with them perfectly obvious as the first vocalization in the word represented: aleph - a, beth - b, etc.
Egyptian
3000 B.C.
Sinai
Phoenician aleph
1850 B.C.
1200 B.C.
Greek aleph
600 B.C.
Roman
114 A.D.
Charles L. Laubach, who brought literacy to millions of people throughout the world
(Read his inspiring book The Silent Billion), employed this system to help learners
quickly learn and remember letters of the new alphabets provided for those whose
languages had never had one. The same approach works equally well for children
and older learners who are just learning their English letters. Write the matching
letters (large and small) next to the mnemonic drawings below—first the OldSpel
letter following the pronunciation most com-monly associated with it and then, to
remove all possible ambiguity, the NuSpel one. We’ll start with the snake, which not
only reminds us of an S but makes a hissing sound like one: Sssssss.
*Formally known as mnemonic devices or aids to memory
Poor Little Sick Boy
p8r ˚por¬
l5t4l
s5k
b75
Adapted from Georges Courteline
2dapt4d
fr7m
|or\
in
Kurt4l
DOCTOR, at the door: Is this where there is a
D7kt4r
=4
dor
5z
=5s
hwer
=er
5z
2
poor little sick boy?
p8r
l5t4l
s5k
b75
MOTHER: Yes, come in, doctor. It’s my little Toto.
M2=4r
k2m
5n
d7kt4r
%t’s
m6
l5t4l
I just don’t understand how it happens, but ever
6
j2st
2nd4rstand
ha8
5t
hap4nz
b2t
ev4r
since I got him out of bed this morning the poor
s5ns
^
g7t
h5m
a8t
7v
=5s
morn5`
=4
p8r
darling keeps falling down.
d1rl5`
kips
f1l5`
da8n
DOCTOR: He falls down?
D7kt4r
Hi
f1lz
da8n
MOTHER: Yes, doctor. All the time.
M2=4r
d7kt4r
1l
=4
t6m
Pages of the story are given first in NuSpel, then in OldSpel with nu equivalents, and
finally exclusively in OldSpel. NuSpel equivalents are given only when the traditional
spelling is irregular. Review lessons are on alternate pages. The pronunciation reflected
is General American (GA), which varies slightly across the country.
25
Above: Antonyms. Match the words with opposite meanings by pointing or writing a small erasable number by them. Below: Match the action words (verbs) to
the right with the words to the left. Above/below: Match with the pictures, too.
26
Answer the questions to yourself or with one or more friends,
taking turns reading the questions and answering them aloud.
¡. Who came to the door?
™. Was he invited to come in?
£. Is this where Toto lives?
¢. What is the mother’s name?
∞. What is it that she doesn’t understand?
§. Why does she call him a poor darling?
¶. Since when has this been happening?
•. How often does poor little Toto fall down?
ª. Does anything make you think this is quite an old story?
¡º. Has a doctor ever made a “house call” for you?
What follows is for older persons, who may, however, wish to explain it simply to younger ones. Please
note that <2> is used as a standard spelling for the word <a>, though the pronunciation may be, for
example, 3, 4 or 2 b8k. <4> is employed for unstressed
schwa ˚the most common vowel of English, which
NuSpel finally gives a letter of its own.¬ We may say “S222m supå” for em-phasis but otherwise ask for
“s4m sup.” Write it as pronounced. Also: d2, d4, di anser. Exception: In order not to depart too abruptly
from tradition, words beginning with <a> are written <2m3z5`>, etc. <@> looks much more like <A> than
<$>. Please let me know how you feel about this.
27
DOCTOR: He falls over onto the floor?
D7kt4r
Hi
f1lz
ov4r
7ntu
=4
flor
MOTHER : Yes. I stand him back up and over he goes
M2=4r
^
h5m
bak
2p
ov4r
hi
goz
again.
2gen
DOCTOR: He falls over on the floor?
D7kt4r
Hi
f1lz
ov4r
7n
=4
flor
MOTHER : Yes. I stand him up and over he goes, on
M2=4r
^
h5m
2p
ov4r
hi
goz
7n
the floor.
=4
flor
DOCTOR: This is strange. Very strange. How old
D7kt4r
+5s
5z
str3nj
Veri
str3nj
Ha8
is he?
5z
hi
MOTHER : Almost three.
M2=4r
1lmost
]ri
DOCTOR: At that age a normal child ought to be able
D7kt4r
=at
3j
2
norm4l
06ld
7t
tu
bi
to stand on its feet. Exactly how did this happen?
tu
7n
5ts
fit
Exaktli
28
ha8
d5d
=5s
hap4n
3b4l
Above: Match synonyms (words meaning the same) with the words to the right by pointing or by
writing a small erasable number by them. Below: Match the action words (verbs) in the same way.
Match with the pictures too. Children are fascinated by Pig Latin (igpay atinlay) and love word
games of all kinds, so mixing up words, phrases and sentences this way creates no problem for them.
29
Answer the questions to yourself or with one or more friends,
taking turns reading the questions and answering them aloud.
1. Where does Toto fall over?
2. Who stands him up again?
3. What happens after that?
4. Is the doctor surprised at that?
5. What does he say about what happened?
6. Then what does the doctor ask?
7. Tell us how old poor little sick Toto is.
8. What ought a normal child be able to do?
9. Does Toto look normal to you? Why?
10. What does the doctor want to know next?
30
MOTHER: I just don’t know. I don’t
M2=4r
^
j2st
no8
^
understand it at all. He was all right last
2nd4rstand
5t
1l
Hi
w1z
1l
r6t
night, scampering around the apartment like a
n6t
skamp4r5`
2ra8nd
=4
2p1rtm4nt
l6k
2
little bunny rabbit. Then this morning I go and
l5tel
b2ni
rab4t
+4n
=5s
morn5`
^
get him up as I usually do, I put his socks on
h5m
2p
az
^
9\u4li
du
^
p8t
h5z
s7ks
7n
him, I put his pants on him, and I put him on his
h5m
feet.
^
p8t
h5z
7n
h5m
^
p8t
h5m
7n
Poof! He falls down.
fit
Puf
Hi
f1lz
da8n
Doctor: He just stumbled, perhaps!
D7kt4r
Hi j2st
st2mb4ld
p4rhaps
Mother: No. Wait! I hurry over to him, I pick
M2=4r
W3t
^
h8ri
ov4r
tu
h5m
^
p5k
him up... Poof! He falls down a second time. I
h5m
2p
Puf
Hi
f1lz
da8n
2
sek4nd
t6m
pick him up again... Poof! To the floor again.
p5k
h5m
2p
2gen
Puf
31
Tu
=4
flor
2gen
^
h5z
Above: Match synonyms (words meaning the same) with the words to the right
by pointing or by writing a small erasable number by them. Below: Match the
action words (verbs) in the same way. Match with the picture too.
32
Answer the questions to yourself or with one or more friends,
taking turns reading the questions and answering them aloud.
1. What is it that the mother doesn’t know?
2. How was Toto the night before?
3. What was he doing in the apartment?
4. What does his mom usually do first each morning?
5. After that, what does she put on him?
6. What does she do after that?
7. Then what does she do, after the “Poof!”?
8. What does the doctor think Toto did, perhaps?
9. Does the mother agree with him?
10. What happens next?
33
And so on, six or seven times. In a word, doctor,
7n
s5x
sev4n
t6mz
%n
2
w8rd
d7kt4r
I repeat, I don’t understand this at all. Ever since
^
ripit
^
2nd4rstand
=5s
1l
Ev4r
s5ns
this morning, over he goes. He keeps falling down.
=5s
morn5`
ov4r
hi
goz
Hi
kips
f1l5`
da8n
DOCTOR: Hmmm. Very mysterious, yes. Hmmmm.
D7kt4r
veri
m5stiri4s
May I see this poor little sick boy?
M3
^
si
=5s
p8r
l5t4l
s5k
b75
MOTHER: Of course! (The mother goes out and
M2=4r
&v
kors
+4
m2=4r
goz
a8t
reappears with the boy in her arms. His cheeks
ri4pirz
w5]
=4
b75
5n
h4r
1rmz
h5z
0iks
are a bright rosy red and he appears to be in
1r
2
br6t
rozi
hi
2pirz
tu
bi
5n
excellent health. A loose smock, smeared here
ex4l4nt
hel]
@
lus
sm7k
smird
hir
and there with jam, covers him down to his feet.)
=er
w5]
k2v4rz
h5m
da8n
DOCTOR: Oh, this is a beautiful child!
D7kt4r
=5s
5z
2
b9t4f4l
34
06ld
tu
h5z
fit
35
Answer the questions to yourself or with one or more friends,
taking turns reading the questions and answering them aloud.
1. How many times does Toto fall down?
2. What word does the doctor use to say how he
feels about this?
3. What does he ask after saying “Hmmmm”?
4. What does the mother answer?
5. Describe Toto’s cheeks.
6. How does his health seem or appear to be?
7. What is Toto wearing?
8. How long is it? How low does it reach?
9. Is it clean? What does it have on it?
10. What does the doctor say about how Toto looks?
36
Put him down on the floor, please. (The mother
p8t
h5m
da8n
7n
=4
flor
pliz
+4
m2=4r
puts him down. He falls over.)
p8ts
h5m
da8n
Hi
f1lz
ov4r
DOCTOR: Again, please. (The mother stands him
D7kt4r
@gen
pliz
+4
m2=4r
h5m
up again. The child falls down.)
2p
2gen
+4
06ld
f1lz
da8n
MOTHER: Again? (She stands him up a third time.
M2=4r
@gen
{i
standz
h5m
2p
2
]8rd
t6m
He falls down. She continues to stand him up, a
Hi
f1lz
da8n
{i
k4nt5n9z
tu
h5m
2p
2
fourth and a fifth time, and every time he falls to
for]
2
f5f]
t6m
ev4ri
t6m
hi
f1lz
the floor.)
=4
flor
DOCTOR: This is extraordinary. (To the sick boy,
D7kt4r
=5s
5z
5xtrordneri
Tu
=4
s5k
b75
held up under his arms by the mother so that he
2p
2nd4r
h5z
1rmz
won’t fall down.)
f1l
da8n
37
b6
=4
m2=4r
=at
hi
tu
Above: Match synonyms (words meaning the same) with the words to the right
by pointing or by writing a small erasable number by them. Below: Match the
action words (verbs) in the same way. Match with the pictures too
38
Answer the questions to yourself or with one or more friends,
taking turns reading the questions and answering them aloud.
1. What does the doctor do next?
2. What word does he use to show that he’s polite?
3. What does he ask the mother to do once more?
4. What happened again? And again?
5. How many times does this happen?
6. What word tells what the doctor thinks of this?
7. What does the mother do with her arms?
8. What would happen otherwise (if she didn’t)?
9. Does it usually hurt a little child to fall like that?
10. Little kids are closer to the ground. Did you fall
down when you were little like this? Did it hurt?
39
Tell me, my little friend, do you hurt anywhere?
Tel
mi
m6
l5t4l
frend
du
yu
h8rt
TOTO: Non, monsieur. (No, sir.)
m˚4¬sy8
[õ = nasal o]
Nõ
DOCTOR: You don’t have a headache?
D7kt4r
Yu
hav
2
hed3k
TOTO: Non, monsieur.
Nõ
msy8
DOCTOR: You don’t have a toothache?
D7kt4r
Yu
hav
2
tu]3k
TOTO: Non, monsieur.
Nõ
msy8
DOCTOR: You don’t have an earache?
D7kt4r
Yu
hav
ir3k
TOTO: Non, monsieur.
Nõ
msy8
DOCTOR: You don’t have a tummyache?
D7kt4r
Yu
hav
2
t2mi3k
TOTO: Non, monsieur.
Nõ
msy8
DOCTOR: Did you sleep well last night?
D7kt4r
D5d
yu
slip
40
wel
n6t
enihwer
41
Above: Match the words at the left with the ones to the right by pointing or by
writing a small erasable number by them. Below: Match the action words
(verbs) in the same way. Match with the pictures, too.
44
Above: Match the words at the left with the ones to the right by pointing
or by writing a small erasable number by them. Below: Match the action
words (verbs) in the same way. Match the pictures, too.
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Answer the questions to yourself or with one or more friends,
taking turns reading the questions and answering them aloud.
1. What is paralysis?
2. What parts of the body are “limbs”?
3. Why does the doctor approach the boy?
4. What does he say when he starts to take off Toto’s smock?
5. Why does the doctor start to stutter too?
6. Does the mother know what he’s going to say? What does she say?
7. Was the doctor wrong to speak so authoritatively? Is he right now?
8. What about the supposed lack of feeling in the little patient’s legs?
9. Have you ever put both of your legs into one pant-leg? Tell about it.
10. Is this story true or was it just made up to make little kids laugh?
Would you and your friends like to act it out as a skit? It would be
a lot of fun.
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Poor Little Sick Boy
Adapted from Georges Courteline
DOCTOR, at the door: Is this where there is a
poor little sick boy?
MOTHER: Yes, come in, doctor. It’s my little Toto.
I just don’t understand how it happens, but ever
since I got him out of bed this morning the poor
darling keeps falling down.
DOCTOR: He falls down?
MOTHER: Yes, doctor. All the time.
Pages of the story are given first as NuSpel, then in OldSpel with nu equivalents, and
finally exclusively in OldSpel. NuSpel equivalents are given only when the traditional
spelling is irregular. Review lessons follow the first two sets of pages. The pronunciation reflected is General American (GA), which varies slightly across the country.
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DOCTOR: He falls over onto the floor?
MOTHER: Yes. I stand him back up and over he goes
again.
DOCTOR: He falls over on the floor?
MOTHER: Yes. I stand him up and over he goes, on
the floor.
DOCTOR: This is strange. Very strange. How old
is he?
MOTHER: Almost three.
DOCTOR: At that age a normal child ought to be able
to stand on its feet. Exactly how did this happen?
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MOTHER: I just don’t know. I don’t
understand it at all. He was all right last
night, scampering around the apartment like a
little bunny rabbit. Then this morning I go and
get him up as I usually do, I put his socks on
him, I put his pants on him, and I put him on
his feet.
Poof! He falls down.
Doctor: He just stumbled, perhaps!
Mother: No. Wait! I hurry over to him, I pick
him up... Poof! He falls down a second time.
I pick him up again... Poof! To the floor again.
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And so on, six or seven times. In a word, doctor,
I repeat, I don’t understand this at all. Ever since
this morning, over he goes. He keeps falling down.
DOCTOR: Hmmm. Very mysterious, yes. Hmmmm.
May I see this poor little sick boy?
MOTHER: Of course! (The mother goes out and
reappears with the boy in her arms. His cheeks
are a bright rosy red and he appears to be in
excellent health. A loose smock, smeared here
and there with jam, covers him down to his feet.)
DOCTOR: Oh, this is a beautiful child!
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Put him down on the floor, please. (The mother
puts him down. He falls over.)
DOCTOR: Again, please. (The mother stands him
up again. The child falls down.)
MOTHER: Again? (She stands him up a third time.
He falls down. She continues to stand him up, a
fourth and a fifth time, and every time he falls
to the floor.)
DOCTOR: This is extraordinary. (To the sick boy,
held up under his arms by the mother so that he
won’t fall down.)
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Tell me, my little friend, do you hurt anywhere?
TOTO: Non, monsieur. [
] (No, sir.)
DOCTOR: You don’t have a headache?
TOTO: Non, monsieur. ˚
¬
DOCTOR: You don’t have a toothache?
TOTO: Non, monsieur.
DOCTOR: You don’t have an earache?
TOTO: Non, monsieur.
DOCTOR: You don’t have a tummyache?
TOTO: Non, monsieur.
DOCTOR: Did you sleep well last night?
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TOTO: Oui, monsieur. [wi] (yes)
DOCTOR: Are you hungry this morning? Would
you like to have a little cup of chocolate and
some cookies?
TOTO: Oui, monsieur.
DOCTOR: Hmmm. Yes. Quite so! (Then, very
authoritatively) It’s paralysis.
MOTHER: P-P-Paral... Good heavens! (She raises
her arms to the sky. The little boy falls down.)
DOCTOR: Oui, oui. I’m so, so sorry. Complete
paralysis of the lower extremities.
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Oui, as you yourself will note, there is a complete
loss of feeling in the little patient’s limbs. (As
the doctor approaches the little boy and prepares
to undress him) Now then... Let us see... But...
but... Gulp! Er, uh... Er... Uh... Gulp! This
p-p-p-paralysis...
MOTHER: Yes, doctor?
DOCTOR: Well, er, uh... I uh... see now... why he
hasn’t been able to stay on his feet. When you
dressed him this morning, you put both of his feet
in the same pant-leg!
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THE END
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A NuSpel-OldSpel Key