fact
sheets
Someone’s sick – what can I do?
It’s a shock to find out you or a friend has a serious illness.
It’s important to look after yourself to support your friend. People
will react differently to the news, and you can work with their reaction
(whatever it is) and be supportive to them. There are things you
can do to look after yourself, and to support a friend through
a life–threatening illness.
My friend is sick – what can I do?
When a friend or family member gets seriously ill, it’s really stressful,
especially if it looks like they might die. There’s heaps of stuff to think
about. It’s hard to know what to say or do, or how to be a good friend.
Sometimes people feel guilty for talking about your normal problems
and trivial day-to-day stuff, as well as beginning to worry about what will
happen if you lose your friend. However, it’s important to remember that
you will be much more helpful to your friend if you also look after yourself.
How do I do that?
The news of a friend’s illness will probably rock you a fair bit, and you can
be stressed, angry, confused, distracted and depressed once you know.
It can be hard to shake this off, and if you’re having trouble with it, you
should talk to someone outside the situation. Counsellors, doctors,
or other health workers are all really good options if you’re looking for
some support. If you don’t want to talk to someone straight away, it’s
okay to give yourself some time to process it. Try writing down your
thoughts and giving yourself some time to think.
How do they feel?
Young people from CanTeen have said that it’s okay to talk and ask
questions about you friend’s illness, as long as they want to answer
them. Remember that your friend might like some company if they’re off
school or in hospital, so it’s worthwhile visiting/phoning/calling on skype /
online chatting when you can. Be aware that your friend will need some
support, so try to make sure there are a couple of people around to help
so there is a wide support network for them.
This could be
for you if...
› You or a friend has
a serious illness
› You’re supporting
someone with
a serious illness
› You want to know
how to talk about it
› You want to understand
what your friend is
going through
Take action...
› Learn more about
their illness
› Talk to a psychologist
› Be there to listen
Everyone’s reaction to something like this will be different though. It can
be hard to talk about serious or life-threatening illness with close friends,
and they might not want to talk, or even see anyone initially.
www.reachout.com
This doesn’t mean they want to cut you out. They’ve just got really huge,
difficult news, and they’re trying to digest it in their own way. You can let
them know you’re there for them by sending them an email, message or
letter telling them you want to support them.
someone’s sick
– what can I do?
What you can do
You can:
›
›
›
›
›
Remember that your friend might have to make massive adjustments to their life,
and be patient with them.
Weather the bad days. Things are likely to get frustrating and overwhelming for
your friend, and some days they won’t have much energy or patience.
Allow confusion. Sometimes, you’re not going to know what’s going on or why
your friend is doing something. Be flexible, and take one step after another.
Realise that people with the same disease aren’t going through the same thing.
Everyone’s different and your friend is still the person you know, they are not
defined by their illness
Still act like their friend – sometimes it feels like everything is about the disease,
but it’s important to remember that they are still the same old person. Don’t be afraid
to have fun with them and do the things that you used to do. Chances are they still
want to be treated like a person, not as a patient.
From everyday troubles through to really tough times, take the first step
with ReachOut.com, Australia’s leading online youth mental health service.
www.reachout.com