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P M £ 72, THE HILL NEWS, SEPTEMBER 27, 1996
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fforget tlie^BeeffWKefe's the Soap?
•Sf'Jos Kerper
i i 1U
HI I
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Hill
By Warner Boutin
-. i have never actually Jbeefe in a bathroom without soap and towels
/before;. I mean, w^ all haY$ been m afcathr^rriwhen i?wafOUT ofsjoap
and towels The difference is that the f^rhrooms m the dorr*»s Tip here
: don'teven have a pace fen- soap, let alonetowelstojrfry off your, hands
This scares me.
»*,*
^
-', What ts the reason behind this? Someone please, stop the insanity!
What is iheadnumstraaonthirfong? Absence rnakes the heart growfbader7
So that when we go home for Thanksgiving andCfcnstmas, the first thing
we do is rush to our bathroom, and lather up. Does the school get letters
fromteary eyed mothers showering •*»e*» M,5,k tha«ks *teca»<» their C^d
never washed themselves (withoutt&tf Uireat of being tuned to v,au,h tin.
"lastC^ntoneIecnoiicomrriercia|>ahdiHiw mayc rncyiuici iptoihci
armpits and love every minute! Well inert iud better bt a I t fl itirsrf
that's the case, because it's just .not wc rth it otherwise
.: What is SLU telling US aboutOW personal hygiene'' Docs the admin
istration thinkthatwenevetwashomstlvLs sowhy provide us withsoap"
^Fcamft imagine that PrfjsidenjrSuHnanfeues,without Just what is in his
bathroom'' I mean budget cuts sure but just don t take our soap You
:-can*iJ^eally. Did you ever «alke<ju>.t what an inconvenience this is'
'";: ;'"l can't begin to see how one rationalizes the absence of these basic
necessities They are so basic that e>en good old Jimts Madison didn t
feel the need to include them in tin* Bill of Rights He actually talked
abpkMdll0WWgtr^Sl»Uy^withus the ordinary ciMtns (might wt
corrupt them'' Or even worse for the jnihtarv kt them sec that we can get
toilet seats for around 15 bucks inste ad of $21S) but he didn I say any
thing about our light to soap and towels because he obv wusiv considered
them so basic that no one would evei q c tionthcm Well SLU^donrit
And there has to be something wecsn do about it
Asaguy,Ijusti;aaTttali&theT«l.of walking out at tin bathroom with
soaking wethands.lt is hazardous to my htaltli I realize that halls-port,
are frowned upon, and Tve never hit nv> CA with mv tvpc of tlhleuc
device so far this year: But, if you don t leave the bathroom prepared for
the unexpected, you just might not nuki it to your roc m Whizzing toot
balls, sneakers, hackey sacks, and my person d favorite a bag of reallv
hot popcorn, have all assaulted me as I left the bathroom If I tan t repel
these simple assaults, howcan Ipossi bly be prepared for something much
more complicated, life coming up with a snappy comeback after walking
into that example of human perfection (for the puhUcdll v incorrect really
hot girl) down the hall? It'sjust not possible with vour hands soaking wet
I've tried it many a time and believe me H is not a pretty situation in the
least
And by the way, did you ever nonce that you can only tall the plate
with the sinks and showers '$»ls»t!irooin0 You ask for the restroom
ami you get directions to thelounge Asking for the "washroom." >0U Will
probably find youraK with directions to another state Not to mention the
Strange looks* Whew', §Y$a l,m$to wonder about myself when I get
those:
, ,
"*•>• v _ ' „
I feel like a slob coming out of the bathroom with mv hands soaking
wet. Oh sure, I'mnot acompfeteidiot I could wipe em on my shirt but
that just ends up looking like Imisstd and spit right in the center of my
chest. And it was an accident of course Who s going to believe that' I
certainly wouldn't
"«
•'-•
'
. ''
In light of the different events that have been going on during the past few days, how does it
feel to be a Laureniian?
'
Larry Botts '99
I guess seeing what has happened this weekend, seeing the new president being
inaugurated, seeing all the trustees and aiumrncoming back has made me feel really a
part of this school. And it has really strengthened me in that I am going to really dff
my best to give my all to this school and make sure that when t graduate] from St.
Lawrence, that I-will be able to come back as Lawrence Bbtts in and people will
remember me I was w^iefi Lgraduated from this school.
Peter Darcy '98
There is a new spirhj on campus.
Courtney Cooper '98
I guess I wouldn't call myself a traditional Laurentian. I don't go to the games. I
don't know what is going on around school with the President, for example. In my
own world though, my house is a big part of me. My classes and friends are also key.
Bob Richardson'97
;___
I went hiking and on top of the mountain I met upi with some alumni who had
graduated in the early seventies. We hung out together for fifteen minutes, We had a
lot in common. They asked me about professors and what is going on with campus.
They were really interested in what was going on at SLU. When yOU run into alumni
outside of school, it really makes you think about the school.
Tom Robjent'00
'
As a freshman, I feel really welcome here; Compared to other schools I had visited,
people here at St. Lawrence are different. That is why I chose St. Lawrence. I also felt
very comfortable here because my family has been going here. My dad graduated in
the late sixties. People here are sa friendly, you get to know everybody.
Arika Miller'99 ;
As a sophomore here, I have come to realize that events within our Univei-sity, such
as the President's Inaugauration and the homecoming football games* ignite students'
interests and help them become a part of St. Lawrence's community.
Samara Joy Blum '97
I am proud to be a St. Lawrence student. I really like the new president. I really
didn't like the old president, and I feel that many changes are on the Way I alii not
always on campus because I travel around a lot. The outside view is a positr re one but
the internal view of ourselves needs to improve:
Riddles
A group o^hree people go out to dinner The place they go includes the tip in With the total bill. When they receive the check, it is exactly thirty dollars. They each agree to
chip in ten dollars to pay for the dinnerrThe waiter, comes back and says he made.a mistake. The total was only twenty-five dollars. The waiter states he only lias single bills
to give them change SO there is no way to distribute the change amongthe'threepeoplefvenly.
The waiter suggests that he should give them each one dollar back and keeps
the extra two dollars for an added tip. The three people, shrug their shoulders and agree, not caring:greatly about a Single dollar, If the WaiterOgivesthem eaciiom dollar
back, that means each person actually now paid nine dollars. Nine dollars times the, three individuals is twenty :seven dollars. Adding onto this, the, two dollars the waiter
kept brings the total money exchanged to twenty-nine dollars. Where did the extra dollar go since they originally paid thirty-dollars?
ANSWERS TO LAST WEEK'S RIDDLES:
A hurricane.
Fill a 3 gallonjug. Pour the water into the5 gallon(jug. Refill the~3 gallon jug and fill the remaining 2 gallons of the 5 gallonjug. Now you have 1 gallon remaining in the
3 gallonjug. Empty the 5 gallonjug, pour the 1 gallon from the 3 gallon jug into it, refill the ij gallon jug and pour it into the 5 gallonjug. Vdila!
'• I.