252 Groups
March 19, 2017, Week 3
Small Group, 4-5
Dude, Where’s Your Brother?
Bible Story: Dude, Where’s Your Brother? (Older Brother) • Luke 15:21-32
Bottom Line: When you don’t forgive, you miss out.
Memory Verse: “Put up with one another. Forgive one another if you are holding something
against someone. Forgive, just as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13, NIrV
Life App: Forgiveness—deciding that someone who has wronged you doesn’t have to pay.
Basic Truth: I should treat others the way I want to be treated.
Social: Providing Time for Fun Interaction (Small Groups, 15 minutes)
Plug In
What You Do:
• Engage kids in conversation. Use the optional questions below to facilitate discussion.
o What is something worth celebrating?
o What are ways we celebrate? Or what are things we do to celebrate?
What You Say:
“I don’t like it when I am the outsider. I would much rather go to a birthday party than miss the party and
hear about the games my friends played at the party. I would much rather go to a movie than miss the
movie and just hear from my brother and sister what the movie was about. I would much rather play in
the soccer game than sit on the bench and miss the game. [Transition] Let’s head to Large Group to
hear what we can do to help us so we aren’t the odd one out and miss out.”
Lead your group to the Large Group area.
Groups: Creating a Safe Place to Connect (Small Groups, 25 minutes)
1. Bible Review
What You Need: Bible
What You Do:
• Ask kids the following questions and have them use their Bibles to find the answers and
discuss.
• Review the story of the prodigal son from the previous week so that the kids have the
background to the current section of the Bible that they will be reviewing.
• What did the son tell his father in Luke 15:21? What did the son say he had done? What does it
mean to sin against someone?
• Read Luke 15:22-24 – How did the father respond to his son’s return? Why did they celebrate?
How do you think God feels when we return to Him and ask for forgiveness?
• Read Luke 15:25-28 – How did the older brother respond to the celebration?
• Read Luke 15:29 – Why did the older brother feel like the celebration was unfair? Why was he
angry?
©2016 The reThink Group, Inc. All rights reserved. • www.ThinkOrange.com
Adapted by (jpaganini/mbcloudoun/4.16).
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252 Groups
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March 19, 2017, Week 3
Small Group, 4-5
Read Luke 15:31-32 How does the father feel about his older son? In 15:31, when is the father
with the older son?
In the story, there is a father, a younger son and an older son. How would you feel if you were
the older brother in the story? What about if you were the younger brother? We often refer to
God as our Father. Based on how the father in the story responded to his two sons, how do you
think God would respond to us if we acted like the younger son? What about if we acted like the
older son?
What You Say:
“This story is for everyone, because [Bottom Line] everyone needs to be forgiven, even me and
even you. Jesus tells this story to us to show us how we can be forgiven and live with Him now and
forever. Just like the son in the story, there are times we disobey God; we SIN. Maybe you say hurtful
things, maybe you say you will do one thing and you do another thing instead. Perhaps you don’t end
up eating pig food, but if you were mean to someone maybe the relationship is now broken, or if you
lied maybe the people you lied to don’t trust you now. You may not actually hit rock bottom, but you
realize the consequences of your sin and you know you disobeyed God and need to be rescued; you
need God’s forgiveness. And here is the amazing part of the story! You confess you are a sinner; you
believe Jesus is your rescuer and, like the son in our story today, you receive God’s forgiveness! God
forgives you!” [Make It Personal] (Share one of the times you heard the story of God’s
forgiveness. If you can, keeping your story age-appropriate, use the “Sum It Up Cards” to share
your story.)
* 2. That’s Not Fair! (application activity)
What You Need: horns and bells
What You Do:
• Read a scenario from the list below.
• If kids think the situation is fair, they ring the bell. If they think it is unfair, they blow the air horn.
• As you go through the scenarios, ask kids why they thought the situation was fair or unfair.
• After each scenario is discussed, ask: “Is forgiveness about fairness?” One of the goals of this
activity is to emphasize that while situations may be unfair, forgiveness is not about being fair;
forgiveness is deciding someone who has wronged you doesn’t have to pay.
• For each scenario, give kids an opportunity to share an example of what they might miss out by
not forgiving.
Scenarios:
• A friend is talking to you during class. You aren’t talking back and you are trying to do your
work. The teacher hears your friend and both of you get in trouble for disrupting the class. Fair
or unfair? You are right; it is so unfair you got in trouble. Is forgiveness about fairness? (Wait for
kids to answer.) Your friend says he is sorry for getting you into trouble. What can you miss out
on if you decide not to forgive him?
•
You are assigned a group project at school. You and your partner played video games instead
of working on the project and you both got a bad grade on it. Fair or unfair? Yes, it is fair; you
didn’t put in the work so you didn’t get a good grade.
©2016 The reThink Group, Inc. All rights reserved. • www.ThinkOrange.com
Adapted by (jpaganini/mbcloudoun/4.16).
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252 Groups
March 19, 2017, Week 3
Small Group, 4-5
o
But let’s say you worked really hard on the project and you did most of the work but you
and your partner both get an A even though you did most of the work. Fair or unfair?
Sure, it isn’t fair you do the work and your partner gets an A. Is forgiveness about
fairness? (Wait for kids to answer.) You are so angry with your teacher for not noticing
that you did most of the work and you’re angry that you were paired with someone who
didn’t help. What can you miss out on if you don’t forgive your teacher? What about your
partner? Should you forgive him? Why or why not?
•
Tommy's parents let him go to PG-13 movies, but your parents say you have to wait until you’re
actually 13. Fair or unfair? Is forgiveness about fairness? What can you miss out on by pouting
and not forgiving your parents for having different rules than your friend’s parents?
•
You called dibs on the last piece of chocolate cake and your sister ate it before you got home
from soccer practice. Fair or unfair? Is forgiveness about fairness? What can you miss out on by
not forgiving your sister and refusing to talk to her?
•
Your ride is late AGAIN picking you up after tutoring. They promised they would be on time
today and they weren’t! Fair or unfair? Is forgiveness about fairness? What can you miss out on
by not forgiving in this situation?
•
Your friend promised she would save you a seat at the lunch table and when you got to lunch
there was nowhere for you to sit. Your friend forgot to save you a seat! Fair or unfair? Is
forgiveness about fairness? What can you miss out on by not forgiving your friend?
•
There is a kid at your school who always says mean things to you and your friends. Fair or
unfair? Is forgiveness about fairness? You and your friends tell the teacher how he treats you
and he gets in trouble but what can you miss out on by not forgiving him?
What You Say:
“In some of those situations, it would be really hard to show forgiveness. If someone was mean to me, it
would hurt my feelings and I would be really mad too. It would be difficult to show forgiveness to
someone who didn’t treat me the way they wanted to be treated. But I know, though God doesn’t
promise things will always be fair, God does promise to forgive me. Forgiveness isn’t about being fair.
It’s about remembering that God has forgiven YOU and remembering [Bottom Line] when you don’t
forgive, you miss out. And because of your love for God and through God’s power, you can forgive
others. It’s not easy, but it’s always worth it.”
3. Colossians Squares (memory verse activity)
What You Need: “Dot Matrix” Activity Pages, colored pencils or markers, Bibles
What You Do:
• Pair kids up and give each pair a matrix and two different colored pencils or markers.
• Note: It’s important for kids to be using two different colors of marker or pencil, so they can
easily know who put down which line and which word.
• Kids should take turns connecting adjacent dots with either a horizontal or vertical line. The goal
is to be the one to form a square by being the one to add the final line to close the square.
©2016 The reThink Group, Inc. All rights reserved. • www.ThinkOrange.com
Adapted by (jpaganini/mbcloudoun/4.16).
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252 Groups
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March 19, 2017, Week 3
Small Group, 4-5
The kid who makes a square by completing the fourth side should write one word of the memory
verse in the square. Then he gets another turn to make one more line.
Whoever forms enough squares to complete the entire memory verse wins. If no one completes
the entire verse, the player with the most words of the verse in squares wins.
What You Say:
“Our verse tells us: Forgive one another if you are holding something against someone (Colossians
3:13 NIrV). Basically, by forgiving one another, we don’t waste time plotting revenge or trying to figure
out how to get even. Forgiving one another means deciding someone who has wronged you doesn’t
have to pay. There are always consequences for our actions, but forgiving others, like God forgives
you, is a way to show you trust God no matter what. And [Bottom Line] when you don’t forgive, you
miss out. You miss out on a chance to show others God’s love.”
Optional Additional Discussion Questions
• What if a friend says something unkind to you and they never say they’re sorry? Do you still
forgive them? Can you only forgive someone if they ask you to?
• Has someone ever forgiven you for something? Has someone ever forgiven you when you
didn’t even apologize or ask for forgiveness? How did that make you feel? Did it make you
realize you had done something wrong or make you feel like they were trying to tell you what
you did wrong?
• [Make It Personal] (Share with the kids about a time when someone treated you unfairly
or when you were mad at someone for how they treated you. Did you forgive them right
away? Did it take you time to forgive them? How did you feel when you decided to
forgive them? Did you miss out on something because you wanted to make them pay?)
Pray and Dismiss
What You Need: Wrapped gift, cotton balls, Bibles
What You Do:
• Sit in a circle and place the wrapped gift in the center of the circle.
• Read the memory verse together.
• Give each kid two cotton balls.
• Give kids time to think of two things they may be holding against someone. Maybe someone
treated them unkindly or unfairly. Maybe someone broke their bike or their favorite toy. Maybe
they are angry with someone for not doing what they said they would do.
• Explain that the cotton balls represent the things they are holding against someone.
• Instruct kids to squeeze the cotton balls as tightly as they can.
• While squeezing the cotton ball with both hands, challenge the kids to unwrap the gift with their
hands.
What You Say:
“If you stay focused on holding on to the cotton balls, you miss out on opening the gift. I think that is
how it is with forgiveness too. When someone has wronged you and you decide they must pay,
[Bottom Line] when you don’t forgive, you miss out. Maybe, like the older brother in our story
today, you miss out on a good time with friends or you miss out on being at peace with your friends or
©2016 The reThink Group, Inc. All rights reserved. • www.ThinkOrange.com
Adapted by (jpaganini/mbcloudoun/4.16).
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252 Groups
March 19, 2017, Week 3
Small Group, 4-5
family. More importantly, [Bottom Line] when you don’t forgive, you miss out on a chance to show
others God’s love and the power of God’s forgiveness for you.”
(Have kids open their hands so the cotton balls are resting on their palms. Pray with the kids, thanking
God for His forgiveness and His love. Ask God for His power to forgive others, knowing He can and will
give us His power to let go of what we may be holding on to and the power to forgive others.)
As adults arrive to pick up, explain to parents that today the group talked about how when you don’t
forgive, you miss out. Encourage kids to share with parents some things a kid might miss out on if
he/she chose not to show forgiveness.
©2016 The reThink Group, Inc. All rights reserved. • www.ThinkOrange.com
Adapted by (jpaganini/mbcloudoun/4.16).
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What to Do:
Copy on paper and cut along the dash lines. Provide at least one “Dot Matrix” for
each kid.
Dot Matrix
March 2017, Week 3, Small Group 4-5
©2017 The reThink Group, Inc. All rights reserved.
READ MATTHEW 5:23-24
DAY 4
drop everything! That’s how important Jesus think it is for us to forgive
and rebuild our relationships with our friends.
One day, Jesus was teaching the people and he said these famous verses.
They can be a little hard for us to understand because we don’t offer gifts
to God at the altar like they did back then. But basically, Jesus was saying
that we should make things right with the people in our lives before we
get wrapped up in praying and showing our love to God.
This is really challenging, because it’s much easier for us to write off
someone who has hurt us, and maybe even tell God about all the wrong
things they’ve done. And you might be totally right! But Jesus is telling us
that we should drop everything and make sure we do whatever it takes
to rebuild our relationships with other people.
That might mean forgiving someone. It might mean saying you’re sorry or
admitting you were wrong. It means that we can’t just ignore a damaged
relationship and pretend everything’s OK. God wants us to help us so we
don’t miss out on the joy of restoring a relationship that was once broken.
What would it look like this week for you to drop everything and forgive?
THINK ABOUT IT:
1. Why do you think restoring relationships is so important to God?
2. What has God done to prove that he wanted a restored relationship
with you?
3. What are some ways God can help you as you drop everything to
make it better with a friend?
READ LUKE 15:26-29
DAY 1
If you have a brother or sister, you’ve probably said these three words
about 1,000 times: That’s. Not. Fair!
In the story Jesus told about the lost son, that’s the way the older brother
felt. But since he couldn’t forgive, he ended up missing out on something
really important.
The lost son had really messed up, and he knew it. But his father welcomed
him home with open arms AND threw a huge party! And the older brother
had to choose to be happy and forgive or not forgive and continue to be
unhappy and complain.
He had been the one staying home and doing everything right. And now his
little brother was getting a party because he had done everything wrong?
SAY IT with me: That’s. Not. Fair!
But in the end, the older brother didn’t just miss the party. He missed
the chance to restore his relationship with his brother. That’s what only
forgiveness can do.
THINK ABOUT IT:
1. When’s the last time something happened to you where you thought:
That’s. Not. Fair!
2. Do you think the older brother had really been as perfect as he thought?
Or do you think he needed forgiveness too?
March 19
2ND-5TH
READ 1 PETER 4:8
DAY 2
Have you ever played chess before? If you have, you know there’s a lot of
strategy involved. When the game starts, do you want go first? Or would
you rather let your opponent move his pawn first so you can plan your
countermove?
You’ve probably had a disagreement with a friend before. Maybe you’re
having one right now. Sometimes it can be simple, like when you just get
on each other’s nerves. But sometimes it goes a lot deeper. Sometimes
you might get so mad that you don’t even speak to each other.
The truth is, we’re people, and we’re not perfect. We mess up. We hurt
each other’s feelings. We get selfish. And in those times, it’s really hard
to want to forgive the other person. We want to think about what we’ve
done right and what they’ve done wrong.
But if you want to reconcile with someone, you’ve got to be willing to
change. You’ve got to make the first move. If you wait around for them to
come to their sense and apologize, you might be waiting around forever.
After all, they think they’re right and you’re the one who isn’t willing to
admit it!
MAKE THE FIRST MOVE so you don’t miss out on your friendship.
THINK ABOUT IT:
1. Do you think most conflicts are totally one-sided? Or do both people
usually have a part?
2. What do you think you’re going to lose if you admit the things you did
wrong?
3. How do you think your friend would react if you went to them and
apologized first?
READ JAMES 1:22
DAY 3
Have you ever met someone who was super-stubborn? If your heart isn’t in
the right place and you’re not willing to forgive, that’s what can happen.
You can get bitter and angry. You can hold grudges. You find yourself judging
other people for their mistakes. You have a hard time trusting anyone. None
of us want to be that way, but the truth is, there’s a little bit of a stubborn
streak in all of us.
That stubborn streak is what can keep us from actually living out what God
says about loving and forgiving others. Sometimes we read a verse or we
hear something from the Bible and we think, “Sure, that sounds like a good
idea.” But the thing that really transforms us to be more like Jesus is to
actually do what He says.
So don’t miss out on the good things God wants for your life and for your
relationships. He created you to have strong friendships, and to walk
alongside other people who care about you. And as you do that, He can use
you to strengthen and encourage your friends and family.
Set your stubbornness aside so you won’t miss out on what God has in store
for you.
THINK ABOUT IT:
1. What makes a person stubborn?
2. What’s it like to be around someone who’s unwilling to show love and
forgiveness?
3. Do you think you’d be brave enough to ask someone who knows you really
well if they see any stubbornness in you?