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THE 770-POINT ADVENTURE
This is a walkthrough of ADV770 in the form of a story. I will lead you through a
fictitious session in which I played the game and made nearly every possible wrong move in
order to help you out in case you make some of the same mistakes. It need not be a spoiler – if
you read it correctly. Do not begin reading the next paragraph until you have played the game
and become totally stuck, having explored every room (location) you can get to and solved every
puzzle you can solve. Then, and only then, start reading from the beginning of the next
paragraph until you learn something you didn’t already know, and then quit reading even if you
are in the middle of a sentence. The new thing you just learned may lead you to a new location
or to the solution to one of the unsolved puzzles, but the next word may give you information
you didn’t want to know. Resume playing, going to every new location and solving every new
puzzle you now can until you once again get stuck. Then resume reading until the next time you
learn something new, and so on until you have finished the game with all 770 points and read to
the end of the story. Now stop reading and start playing!
ABOVE GROUND
The first time I played the game, I played it online. The guide told me to contemplate
while the game was being constructed. I contemplated for a while, but nothing happened.
Apparently I had to inform the guide that I was contemplating; so I entered the word
“contemplate” and was allowed into the game, having scored one point for my effort. In later
sessions, either online or from a downloaded file, I was let into the game without any
contemplation but credited with the one point nevertheless. I immediately asked for instructions,
information and vocabulary – all useful things to know – and then I looked around.
I found myself at the east end of a road before a small brick building in a forest. There
was a stream running south out of the building. I followed the stream past a five-inch slit
through which the water was falling and then continued along a dry riverbed to a grate. This
must be the entrance to the cave! I was most anxious to explore there, but the grate was locked
and I had no keys. Well, I didn’t expect to find them lying on the ground; so I returned to the
building and entered. There I found a lamp and some keys, which I took, and a poster on a wall,
which I read. I then returned to the grate, unlocked it with the keys and descended. The guide
advised me to explore around the building before venturing into the cave; so I did.
During my exploration I got lost in the forest several times, making the guide angrier
with me each time, until I discovered that the description of the forest sometimes included some
directions in which the forest was particularly dark and gloomy. I found three places of interest.
Walking around the building to its east side I found a table with some bird seed, some of which I
took. Following the north-west path from the end of the road I passed through a ravine and
stopped when I came to a cliff, beyond which I could see an island. There was an empty bottle,
which I took, and a broken sign, which I read. I returned to the east end of the road and followed
it westward and around a curve until I came to a gate through which I could see a garden and a
tower. A sign warned me not to trespass, but I decided to ignore it. I tried opening the gate and
climbing it, failing at both attempts but gaining some interesting information. I reentered the
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cave, and this time I was not told to explore above ground any further; apparently I had already
explored as much of the area around the building as I needed to before entering the cave.
THE UPPER LEVEL OF THE CAVE
I proceeded westward along a cobble crawl and found a cage, which I took. After I took
one more step westward it became too dark to see and I was advised to get some light; so I
turned on my lamp. There I found myself in a room filled with debris. There was a rod with a
rusty star on one end, which I took, and a magic word, which I said – and got teleported back
into the building. I repeated the same magic word and got teleported back into the debris room.
Two more steps westward led me to an orange-walled chamber, where a little bird was singing.
The existence of a cage and bird seed told me that for some reason I ought to feed the bird and
then put it into the cage. I scattered some seeds on the ground, but the bird seemed too scared to
eat them, and when I tried to catch it, it flew out of reach. Perhaps something I was carrying was
spooking the bird. Maybe the bird thought I was going to hit it with … well, only one of the
objects I was carrying looked like something I could hit a bird with. I dropped it and then tried
once again to catch the bird. This time it was no longer afraid, but it still kept out of my reach.
The guide advised me to befriend it somehow – obviously by feeding it. I couldn’t find the bird
seed I had scattered; so I went back and got some more, and soon the bird was safely in the cage.
I continued westward to the top of a flight of stone steps and descended into the east end
of the Hall of Mists. After one more step westward I came to a fissure that was too wide to
jump; so I decided to explore in other directions. South of the east end of the Hall of Mists there
was a low room containing a nugget of gold. This was obviously a treasure, and since its
description, unlike those of the other objects I had found, was followed by an exclamation mark,
I now knew how to identify treasures. A note on the wall said, “You won’t get it up the steps.” I
decided to try anyway, and sure enough, I couldn’t climb the steps carrying the nugget. I
recalled reading that to get full credit for a treasure I had to drop it in the building, but both exits
from the cave that I knew about lay beyond those steps. There must be at least one more way out
of here! I decided to explore in other directions. East of the east end of the Hall of Mists there
was a small chamber. On one wall was a plaque, on which was written something that looked
like gibberish. I asked the guide to translate it and he repeated something I recalled reading in
the instructions: it is assumed that I know Dwarvish. Well, I didn’t; so I asked the guide to speak
to me in Dwarvish, which he did. His first word was J, meaning either I or A. If J meant I, then
to translate from English to Dwarvish you have to change each letter to the next letter in the
alphabet (except that z translates to a). Assuming this to be the case, I applied the inverse
transformation to the rest of his sentence and it made sense, and so did the sign. Satisfied that I
could now read Dwarvish whenever necessary, I asked the guide to resume speaking to me in
English, but of course I had to make that request in Dwarvish.
I proceeded down to a red cubicle, south to a division and then north, not back to the
cubicle but to a spherical room containing a vial of oily liquid! Apparently not all the passages
are straight lines! I took the vial and opened it. It exploded, releasing the liquid, which
evaporated into a stinky pink vapour. That vial was probably going to be needed somewhere
else in the cave, and now I had lost it. I decided to press on, however; I was sure to screw up
many more times and I didn’t want to restart the game each time. I went south twice and arrived
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at the Hall of the Mountain King. There were passages in all directions. There was also a huge
green snake! It didn’t attack me, but once I had awoken it, it did prevent me from going any
direction except east or up, and in both cases I arrived back at the east end of the Hall of Mists.
Unless I could get rid of the snake or cross that fissure, there was no way I could get that gold
nugget into the building or find any more treasures.
And then I thought: a game with magic words may have other magic things. A magic
wand, maybe? I had seen something that looked like a magic wand, but I had left it in the room
where I found the bird, and I couldn’t get there carrying the gold nugget. I dropped the nugget,
retrieved the rod, picked up the nugget, headed for the fissure and waved the rod – and a crystal
bridge magically materialized across the fissure! I crossed the bridge and saw another treasure –
diamonds – which I hastily picked up and deposited in the building (leaving the nugget at the
bottom of the steps, of course) and then returned, nugget in hand, to the place where I had found
the diamonds and continued three more steps westward to the west end of a long hall. From
there I went north two steps and came to a dead end where I read a message, which I wrote down
in case its usefulness became apparent later. Going south and then east I came to the west side
chamber of the Hall of the Mountain King, where I found some coins – another treasure – which
I took and deposited in the building, taking the long way around to avoid meeting the snake.
Now I had explored every passage I could until I could get rid of the snake except for two
passages, one leading south from the west end of the Hall of Mists and the other leading south
from the west end of the long hall. I decided to try the latter first – and found myself in a maze
of twisty little passages, all different. Wandering around I discovered the difference between the
passages: the description of the maze was different from room to room. Using this information, I
mapped as much of the maze as I could – until I got thirsty. I had forgotten to fill the bottle with
water from the stream before entering the cave!
I continued mapping, hoping to find my way out before dying of thirst, but to no avail.
The guide asked me whether I wanted to be reincarnated. I agreed. The guide waved a thurible,
producing some orange smoke, and I found myself empty-handed in the building with the two
treasures I had deposited there. The lamp was just outside the building. I took it and returned to
the maze I had been mapping. I found all my other possessions where I had left them when I had
died; I picked them up and continued mapping. There were eleven rooms in the maze and a dead
end containing a vending machine which sold fresh batteries. I had left the necessary currency in
the building; so I exited the maze, filled my bottle with water from the stream and then tried the
other passage, the one leading south from the west end of the Hall of Mists.
It too led to a maze, and in this one all the passages were alike. There was only one way
to distinguish the passages: by dropping an object each time I came to a new passage. While I
was so engaged, a dwarf came around a corner, threw an axe at me and ran away. This was
good: another object to drop in the maze. But soon I had no objects left except my lamp, and I
still hadn’t found a path back out of the maze! There was nothing for it but to wander around
until by some miracle I escaped from the maze.
Suddenly another dwarf came into the room I was in. I decided to ignore him and keep
walking, but he followed me, and this time he threw a knife at me. This meant war! There was a
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weapon I could use – the first dwarf had provided it – but I had left it somewhere in the maze
and I had no idea where it was. Desperately I searched for it, the dwarf following me step for
step and throwing a new knife at me every two or three steps. His aim was bad but not bad
enough: before I could find the axe, a knife he threw got me. Again the guide offered to
reincarnate me, but this time I declined and started a new game: I had no desire to face any more
dwarves without my axe. Rereading all the instructions, I realized that there were less drastic
ways to recover from a screw-up: by memorizing a game and recalling it or saving and restoring.
These steps would cost me points, but points wouldn’t become important until I had explored the
whole game. I won’t tell you how I recovered from each screw-up unless it’s necessary.
It occurred to me that it was useless to map the “alike” maze until I had collected more
objects. To do so, I was going to have to explore more of the cave, which meant getting rid of
the snake. I collected all the objects I had found before and then headed right for the snake.
Asking for help twice, accepting a points penalty each time, I got the information I needed: just
because I couldn’t get rid of the snake didn’t mean that it couldn’t be done. I hadn’t met any
other person in the cave, but I had met a creature. In fact, it was now in my possession! Could
such a little creature really take on such a huge one as this snake? There was nothing for it but to
try. I released the bird and it drove the snake away.
Now I was free to explore in other directions. Going north led to a passage with another
treasure – some silver bars – and a hole in the floor. I decided to explore the whole upper level
before descending through the hole; so I continued north and came to a place with a rock on
which was written Y2. I tried the east and west passages from this place, and on my last reentry
into Y2 I heard a hollow voice utter a new word. Was it a magic word? I tried saying it – and
got teleported into the building. This was the exit I had been looking for – and a way to deposit
the gold nugget! I deposited the unopened vial and the treasures I had collected, repeated the
magic word and got teleported back to Y2, and then returned to the Hall of the Mountain King to
explore in other directions.
Going north-east led to a corridor, at the end of which was a room called a tool room.
The only object I found there was a pile of clean rags, which I took. Was this a tool? Returning
to the Hall of the Mountain King, I went south-east and found another treasure: a helmet. Going
south from the Hall of the Mountain King and then down twice I saw a globe, evidently a
treasure, in an adjoining cellar, but my way there was blocked by a rusty portcullis. Going northwest from the Hall of the Mountain King led me near to the place I had found the vial. Going
down from the Hall of the Mountain King I found a safe, but there didn’t seem to be any way to
open it. Going south-west didn’t seem to lead anywhere but back to where I started from, but I
tried several times until I finally arrived at a secret canyon with another hole in the floor. Rather
than descend through that hole, I proceeded west and found my way barred by a dragon sitting
on a Persian rug!
By this time I already had an axe and had fought several wars with it, most of which I
managed to win by throwing or swinging my axe at the dwarf. I threw it at the dragon. It
bounced harmlessly off the dragon’s tough scales. I tried to make use of the bird’s services once
more, with tragic results. There seemed to be only one way to fight the dragon: with my bare
hands. The guide was incredulous, but I persisted, and to my astonishment it worked. The rug
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looked rather frayed and very dirty; so I left it there, but I picked up something the dragon had
lost when I killed it – its teeth. I proceeded north, passing by another hole in the floor, until I
came to the south end of a reservoir, and there was another treasure: a toy yacht. I could see
across the reservoir but could find no way to cross it. Instead I went west until I found myself in
some swirling mist. I tried mapping this maze by dropping objects and failed; so instead I
wandered around until I got to a room with a sword embedded in a rock. Try as I might, I
couldn’t pull the sword out of the rock. There was a word written on the rock. I said the word,
but nothing happened. Abandoning my attempt to take the sword, I went back into the swirling
mists and wandered around. I never got back to the reservoir; every step either left me in the
mist or returned me to the rock until I decided to go south, and soon I came to a large cavern. A
few steps later I came to a soft room with a pillow. I had now arrived at the lower level of the
cave, and it was time to start exploring it.
THE LOWER LEVEL OF THE CAVE
I proceeded westward past the Swiss Cheese Room to a room with two pits. In the east
pit there was a small pool of oil; in the west pit there was a little plant calling for water. Above
this pit there was a hole in the wall. I wanted to go through the hole but there was no way to get
to it. Perhaps if I gave this plant some water, it would grow tall enough to allow me to climb up
to the hole. I watered the plant; it grew into a beanstalk that reached to the top of the pit but not
anywhere near the hole, and it kept calling for water. My bottle was now empty and I needed to
find more water. I continued west to the Slab Room, where I saw a hole in the ceiling. Since I
had already explored the upper level and been in a room with water, I figured that my best
chance of finding more water was to climb up through the hole. I found myself in a secret
north/south canyon I’d already been in. Two steps to the north was the south side of the
reservoir; I drank, filled up my bottle and watered the beanstalk. It grew until it reached up to
the hole. I climbed up the beanstalk and passed through the hole into a corridor. Following the
corridor I came to the Giant Room, which contained a nest of golden eggs, which I took.
Suddenly a bearded pirate pounced from the shadows behind me and stole all my
treasures! He said something about hiding them in his chest deep in the maze; so I figured I’d
find it in the maze I had partially mapped – once I had collected enough objects to complete the
mapping. Meanwhile, however, I was intrigued by an inscription on the wall. It consisted of the
four words uttered by the giant in the children’s story Jack and the Beanstalk – with one
modification. I said them and the nest reappeared just where I had found it! I took it and
proceeded northward until I came to a door, which was closed. I tried to open it, but it was too
rusty. I would have to oil it. I remembered having seen a pool of oil nearby; soon I had oiled the
door, opened it and come to a magnificent cavern. There I found a jewel-encrusted trident,
which I took.
In this cavern there was a stream that cascaded over a waterfall into a whirlpool that
disappeared through a hole in the floor. To find out where it led, I would have to jump into the
whirlpool, which I did, ignoring the guide’s incredulity. I arrived on the north side of the
reservoir, but I lost all my possessions except my lamp! I would have to recover from that
screw-up somehow, but first I decided to explore this new area. There was a gong nearby. I
rang it and a tortoise appeared. I could get back to the south side by riding the tortoise, but first I
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wanted to see what I could find on this side. What I found was another treasure – some beads –
draped over a railing of a high balcony overlooking a treasure room with a plaque saying that
there was no admittance via this entrance. I would have to find another entrance some time, but
first I rode the tortoise back to the south side, climbed back up the beanstalk, retrieved the nest of
eggs a second time and continued to the magnificent cavern, and this time I followed the west
passage, descended a one-way incline into a large low room and proceeded south-west to the
Oriental room, where I found a delicate Ming vase, which I took.
I took the north passage and followed a path around a cavern to an alcove. To the east I
could see a lit room through an opening that was barely big enough for me to squeeze through.
To get through, I would have to drop all my possessions, which I did – and the vase shattered
into a zillion shards of worthless pottery! I squeezed through the opening into the lit room.
There was an emerald as big as a plover egg, which I took, and a dark passage leading north-east.
I dared not follow that passage without a lamp. Something about the description of the lit room
intrigued me. The word “plover” was used to describe both the room and the emerald. Was it
some sort of magic word? I uttered the word. Suddenly I was plunged into inky blackness – and
I didn’t have the emerald! I repeated the word and was teleported back into the plover room –
and found the emerald lying just where I had found it. I repeated the experiment several times
until in the dark I heard a familiar hollow voice utter a familiar magic word. Although I couldn’t
see a thing, I knew exactly where I was. Once more I teleported to the plover room, carried the
emerald through the narrow opening, picked up the rest of my belongings and headed for the
room where I had first heard that hollow voice. From there I teleported to the building,
deposited the nest and the emerald, and then teleported back into the plover room, this time with
my lamp. I entered the dark passage, and there I found another treasure – a pyramid. Two magic
words later, I was back in the building to deposit the pyramid.
I remembered having seen another passage from the large low room; so I returned there,
took the south-west passage and followed a long winding corridor until I came to a bridge
stretching across a chasm. There was a sign saying “pay troll”, but the troll was nowhere to be
seen. I tried to cross the bridge, but the troll appeared and demanded that I throw him a treasure.
I had already lost quite enough treasures, thank you very much, and I had no desire to lose any
more of them. Suddenly I had an idea. I had already found a treasure that I could safely give to
the troll because I could get it back at any time. It was in the building, but it would take me less
time to retrieve it from the Giant Room; so I did. Soon I had crossed the bridge and followed a
long east-west corridor to a fork in the road. I took the north-west passage to a room with warm
walls and continued northward to a breathtaking view – a chasm in which was an active volcano!
I remembered having read on the poster that I ought to explore beyond the breathtaking view, but
at the moment I had no way of doing so. I returned to the room with warm walls, took the east
passage and found another treasure – some rare spices. Then I returned to the fork in the road
and took the south-west passage which led to a room that was called the Barren Room – because
there was a bear in the room! He was chained to the wall by a golden chain – another treasure.
To get that treasure I was going to have to placate the bear somehow, possibly by feeding him,
and then open the chain. But I hadn’t found any food and my keys were at the bottom of the
whirlpool. There was nothing for it but to go back across the bridge. The troll demanded
another treasure. I threw him the only treasure I had – the spices – and then went via the large
low room and the Oriental Room back to the Swiss cheese room.
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From there I went north-east to a room called Bedquilt and continued east to a complex
junction and then north to a room where I found a giant clam. To open the clam I was going to
need something that was long and hard enough to be used as a crowbar. I remembered having
seen and taken just such an object, but it too was at the bottom of the whirlpool. I climbed
upwards into an arched hall, proceeded eastward to an arched passage and saw some soft sand at
the east end. I tried to cross it. Big mistake! It was quicksand. It was time to recover from this
series of screw-ups.
The next time around, I went from the building to the north/south passage where I had
found the silver bars and this time I climbed down the hole to a dirty broken east-west passage.
To the east there was a pit containing water, and to the west were some dusty rocks and another
hole in the floor leading back to the complex junction. This was a shorter route to the lower
level of the cave, one which I would take from now on. I returned to the clam and this time I had
what I needed to open it – the trident. A pearl rolled out and down a sloping corridor. I followed
it two steps down and retrieved it in a cul de sac, then climbed up to the arched hall and went
east to the arched passage. This time I had brought my magic wand with me. I waved it and
nothing obvious happened, but I was able to cross the soft sand safely. Following a bend, I came
to a fork in the road. The east passage led me to a room with a treasure – a spyglass – and the
north passage led to the south end of a beach, where there was the remains of a dinghy
containing another treasure – a bag with some pieces of eight. The other three locations on the
beach each had a path to the bottom of a cliff, where a little beanstalk was asking for fertilizer. I
had none to offer it; so I retraced my steps until I came to the bend and saw the soft sand to my
west. Recalling that the crystal bridge stayed in place once I had created it, I figured that the soft
sand would remain safe to cross once I had made it so. I was wrong. Dead wrong.
The next time around, I went east from the complex junction to an anteroom, where I
found some magazines written in a dialect of Dwarvish that I couldn’t read. I decided to leave
them there. There were several passages leading from the anteroom. The east one led to a place
called Witt’s End. I tried going back the way I had come – that is, west – and got nowhere. I
tried other directions, and after a few tries I finally got back to the anteroom. I was never going
back there again! The north-east passage led to an unsafe passage. To the west there was a tiny
opening through which I couldn’t pass if I was carrying anything large. I dropped all the large
objects and entered a very low room. To the west was a room with some bones and a tusk. By
its description the tusk wasn’t a treasure, but I figured it might be useful; so I took it. It was too
big to fit through the narrow passage; so I dropped it and it slid down an inclined path. I
followed it half way down the path and looked down. There I saw seawater mixed with raw
sewage. I slid the rest of the way down and promptly drowned! I was never going back there
again either!
The south passage was more propitious. It led to a chapel. To the west was a side
chamber containing a treasure – a crucifix. As I entered, my light disturbed an enormous owl,
which hooted and flew away. In the chapel there was a rope hanging down from the ceiling;
climbing up the rope I found another treasure – a chalice. I climbed back down the rope and
descended into a crypt, where I found a coffin. I opened it and saw a vampire inside! He didn’t
attack me right away; instead, he asked me for a drink. I offered him water but he refused it. He
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didn’t say what he wanted to drink, but I assumed that it was blood. I hadn’t found any blood
and I didn’t exactly feel like giving him any of my own; so I left. There was one more passage
to follow. It led up to an entirely new part of the cave, one which I was now going to explore.
ABOVE THE CHAPEL
On one wall of this room I saw something that looked like a red fish. A red herring,
maybe? Examining it more closely, I saw that it was a fire alarm. At the time I didn’t see how it
could be useful; so I decided to explore the area. Going north three steps I came to a Thieves’
Den and found a treasure: a quartz seal. Returning to the room above the chapel, I went south to
the bottom of a long spiral staircase. Five flights up I came to a door with a sign in Dwarvish,
saying that this was the Dwarves’ storage room to which there was no access. Sure enough, I
couldn’t open the door. Two more flights up I came to another door another sign saying that this
was the Dwarves’ quarters to which there was no access. There were some big dwarves playing
cards. The sentry on the landing saw me and chopped me in half with his axe.
The next time around I returned to the room above the chapel, went south, climbed up six
rather than seven flights of stairs and asked for help with the card-playing dwarves. I was
advised to do something to make them leave. Well, the dwarves would certainly leave if I could
make the fire alarm ring, but I couldn’t reach the alarm; so I decided to explore in the only other
direction possible: west. I came to a pantry and found some food. Something to feed the bear! I
took the food, but rather than going straight to the troll bridge, I continued westward into the
giant’s living quarters. The giant grabbed the food, wolfed it down, complained that it was a
skimpy meal and shoved me back into the pantry. Foolishly, I returned to his living quarters, and
this time he stole all my possessions except my lamp and pushed me into a dungeon, threatening
to eat me as soon as he was ready! Each time I tried to return to his living quarters to collect my
possessions, he pushed me back into the dungeon. I was going to have to escape – and soon!
I asked for help and was told that there was something significant about the fact that the
floor of the dungeon was made of flagstones. I examined the flagstones and discovered that one
of them was loose. It was very heavy, but I managed to move it. I climbed down, followed an
earthen passage southward and arrived at the bottom of a well. Climbing up the well, I came to
an overgrown clearing. To the south-west there was a shed. I entered and found a packet of
fertilizer – for the beanstalk on the beach! From the top of the well I saw a path to the northwest. I followed it until I came to the table with the bird seed! From here I was able to follow
the return path back to the well. How could I have missed it when I explored the whole area
above ground before entering the cave?
Well, that question could be settled later. Now I had to retrieve my possessions, without
which I wouldn’t be able to get to the beanstalk or to the bear. I recalled that the giant had
complained that the food I had given him was insufficient for his appetite. Could I find a meal
that would satisfy him? Well, eggs are food. Of course, the ones I found were made of gold, but
maybe the giant could digest gold. And, after all, I had found them in the Giant Room! I headed
for the beanstalk, but part way there I met a dwarf – and my axe was in the giant’s living
quarters! Was there some other way I could get rid of this dwarf? I recalled having seen an owl
that was so much bigger than the dwarf that it might possibly consider the dwarf prey. I decided
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to call it – by hooting. The owl came, but my light disturbed it and it flew away again. I turned
off my lamp and hooted again. I heard some noises, then silence. I turned on my lamp. No
dwarf. The owl had done what I had hoped it would. Instead I found the magazines I had seen
but not taken. Apparently, when a dwarf comes upon an object that I have seen, he may decide
to take it, and I would have to kill him to retrieve it.
I continued to the beanstalk without meeting any more dwarves, retrieved the eggs and
returned to the giant’s living quarters. He grabbed the eggs and started munching on them,
ignoring me completely. I retrieved my possessions and headed south – into a tangled web of
passages. Another maze! With the objects in my possession I mapped this maze. In one of
these passages there was a huge spider in a sticky web that occupied the entire south wall and
there was a document stuck in the web. I didn’t dare try to take the document – the spider was
too frightening. Could I somehow get rid of this spider? I threw the axe at it – and the axe got
stuck in the web, where I couldn’t reach it! And then I thought: a creature that could eat a dwarf
could probably eat the spider too. I turned off my lamp and hooted. Again I heard noises and
then silence. When I turned on my lamp, the spider was gone. I retrieved my axe and cut the
web with it, releasing the document and revealing a passage south. I took the document and
followed the passage into a dank cave, where I saw a mushroom.
I ate the mushroom and felt my muscles bulge. Was I now strong enough to pull the
sword out of the rock? I retrieved my possessions from the maze and returned to the giant’s
living quarters. The giant was delighted when he saw the document; he took it, threw me a
treasure – a sapphire – and ran away. I picked it up and exited the living quarters. On the way
out I saw some more food in the pantry! Now I could feed the bear, but first I wanted to get the
sword and fertilize the beanstalk on the beach, and anyway I saw another passage I hadn’t
noticed before – one leading north.
I followed it, descended into a basement and saw a sign on a door leading south; the sign
said “Wizards only, no trespassing.” I ignored it and entered a brick cellar, where I found
another treasure. It was an orb - the globe I had seen earlier but hadn’t been able to get to.
Suddenly the door to the cellar closed behind me, and neither brute force nor magic words could
open it. I picked up the orb and stared at it. Each time I looked at it, it showed me a different
picture until it got to the last one in its repertoire, which it then repeated. This was all very
interesting, but it didn’t get me out of the cellar. Perhaps if I made some noise, I could attract the
attention of the wizard who was guarding this room and he’d take pity on me and release me.
Yelling didn’t help, but dropping an object did. It slid down a drain in the middle of the cellar
and disappeared. A wizard did appear; he insulted me and booted me out of the room and into
the Hall of Mists. Note to self: drop something that was valueless and useless or that wouldn’t
go down the drain when dropped.
On the way to the swirling mist, I felt my muscles shrink back to their former puny size.
Was this another screw-up from which I would have to recover? Well, if the food could reappear
in the pantry, perhaps another mushroom would grow in the dank cave – if I gave it enough time.
I fertilized the beanstalk on the beach and grew it part way up the cliff, but it was in no mood to
be climbed. It demanded more fertilizer and I had no idea how to find it. The empty packet of
10
fertilizer, however, was now useless enough to be useful – as an object to drop to get out of the
brick cellar.
I retrieved the eggs, threw them to the troll and fed the bear. It calmed down and started
acting like my personal pet. I opened the chain with the keys and took it, took the spices and
then headed for breathtaking view. Now that I had my rod, I waved it and a wheat-covered
bridge materialized across the chasm. There were vapours rising from the volcano. Was it safe
to cross the bridge? To be on the safe side, I memorized the game. Then I tried to cross the
bridge and got killed by the vapours. I recalled the game and asked for help. I was informed that
it would take more magic than waving a wand to cross the bridge. I tried all the magic words I
could remember, but none of them worked. Disappointed, I decided that this was the time to see
whether there was another mushroom in the dank cave. Of course the troll would demand
another treasure to make the return crossing, but I thought of a way of scaring him away. I had
made a new friend nearby, one that was much more powerful than the troll. I led the bear over to
the troll and then let him go. Just as I had hoped, the bear chased the troll away. Could it also
chase away dwarves? I decided to take the bear with me. Another big mistake – its weight,
combined with mine, collapsed the bridge, killing us both! Another recall, and this time I
crossed the bridge alone and headed for the dank cave.
I was out of luck: there was no mushroom! I had done everything I could think of doing
without it and I had memorized a game in which I had already eaten it; so I had to restore an
earlier game. This time I waited until I got to the sword before eating the mushroom, and this
time I had no trouble taking the sword. I immediately said the magic word that I saw on the rock
and the sword turned into a ring. I repeated the magic word, but nothing happened. Well, maybe
I didn’t need a sword – after all, I did have an axe – and now I had a ring. I put it on and
proceeded to the troll bridge. On the way I met another dwarf. I turned off my lamp and hooted.
Nothing happened. Apparently the owl was too far away. I turned my lamp back on and threw
my axe at him, but he dodged out of the way. He threw a knife at me. It was headed right for
me, but the ring I was wearing deflected it! On the second try I got him with the axe and he
dropped a little horn. I picked up the horn and blew it and half a dozen dwarves appeared! With
no help coming from the owl, there was nothing for it but to flail away with my axe. Some of
the dwarves’ knives missed me and the rest were deflected by the ring. Eventually I killed all the
dwarves and retrieved all the objects they had stolen. If the ring could deflect knives, it may
very well be the magic I needed to cross the wheat-coloured bridge from the breathtaking view.
I retrieved the eggs once again, headed for the troll bridge, threw the eggs to the troll and
tried to cross the bridge. But the troll too had some magic up his sleeve – he made the bridge
disappear under my feet, killing me! I had to restore a much earlier game, and this time I didn’t
throw the eggs to the troll until I figured that I wouldn’t have to retrieve them before I had done
all my business on the other side of the troll bridge. And just as I had hoped, the ring did deflect
the vapours rising from the volcano under the wheat-coloured bridge, allowing me to cross safely
to the south end of a valley.
11
BEYOND BREATHTAKING VIEW
I proceeded to the north end of the valley and found my way blocked by a statue
surrounded by some giant faces carved into the sides of the valley. The statue reminded me of
something I had read much earlier, something that mentioned statues. I had made a note of it at
the time: it said that when facing statues I should use the appropriate tool. Well, none of the
objects I was carrying was the appropriate tool, but the word tool reminded me that I had been to
a tool room. There I had found some rags – hardly a tool – but I had also seen a word that
looked strange enough to be a magic word. I uttered the word and three passages opened up for
me.
The north-east passage led through a winding passage and into a golden chamber. Going
north-east, I came to a small Arabesque room, where I found a flask of London Dry. I opened it
and a Djinn floated out and away. The guide ridiculed me. Note to self: get into a better
bargaining position before opening the flask. I returned to the golden chamber and then went
north-west into a translucent room where I found a treasure – a bracelet. I put it on and returned
to the golden chamber. Suddenly a bunch of little goblins appeared and attacked me! The ring
offered no protection, nor did the axe or the owl. I ran away, but they followed me and
eventually killed me. The next time around, I brought something I figured would scare them
away. Well, not some thing, but some things, each one small but enough of them that each one
would scare away one goblin. To an eight-inch-tall goblin, a dragon’s tooth would be pretty
scary. I threw them at the goblins; it worked better than I had thought, and now I had the
bracelet and an unopened flask.
The north passage from the north end of the valley led me past a sleeping basilisk, which
twitched as I passed it. I continued to Peelgrunt, where I found a safe that I couldn’t open. I
asked for help and was told that I needed a skeleton key, which, of course, I didn’t have. I
retraced my steps and saw that the basilisk was now half awake. If I tried to pass it again, it
would wake up entirely and turn me to stone! I went down three flights of a spiral staircase and
found a metal plate. I recalled a Greek myth in which Perseus was faced with a similar monster
– Medusa – and turned her to stone by reflecting her face back to her using a mirror. This plate
could serve as a mirror if it weren’t so grimy. I recalled having once seen an object that could
clean this plate – in the tool room. Of course I didn’t have it with me, but this time I didn’t wait
to be turned to stone before recovering from this screw-up, and soon the basilisk was petrified.
On the way down the spiral staircase I had seen a passage leading north. I followed it
and came to a room with Y2 carved in a rock. I had already been in this room, or at least one
that looked just like it. Would the magic word I had heard there teleport me into the building?
No, it teleported me onto a small platform above a volcano! I didn’t need to be told that one
wrong move and I would be toast. I teleported back and experimented with other magic words
including plover, then tried the passages out of this room.
One of them led me to a small square room, an entrance to the Enchanted Catacombs.
This was obviously another maze. Figuring that I had enough objects to map it, I entered. Every
move led to a new room! I numbered the rooms, taking note of which object I had dropped in
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each room, until I ran out of objects. There was nothing for it but to wander until I found one of
my objects. Instead, after sixteen moves I arrived back at this second Y2. I reentered the
catacombs and found the object I had dropped in room 1. Every direction led me back to room 1
with two exceptions: one led me into a rest area with a fountain and the opposite one to room 2,
but this was not the direction I had originally gone in. Originally I had gone west to get from
room 1 to room 2; this time I had to go north-west. This was one weird maze! The same pattern
continued with each room, except that going in any direction except the one that advanced me to
the next room led me to the previous one instead of back to the same one. When I got to the last
room in which I had dropped an object, I collected all the objects except the last one and
continued mapping. This was going to be easy – or so I thought until my lamp ran out of power!
The next time around, I bought fresh batteries from the vending machine in the
“different” maze and then resumed mapping the catacombs. The same pattern continued from
room to room until I came to one room – I’ll let you find out yourself which one – from which
one direction led not to the previous room but out of the catacombs. Going west from here I
came to another thieves’ den, this one containing a mask and a treasure – jewelry. I tried on the
mask; it gave me the illusion of being dressed in a hat and robe, but soon it got uncomfortably
warm and I took it off again. Going east through an Audience Hall I saw a skeleton carrying a
treasure - a sceptre. I took the sceptre and the skeleton uttered some weird word and then
crumbled into dust. I re-entered the catacombs and continued mapping – there were no other
exceptional rooms – until I arrived back at Y2.
Thinking about the skeleton reminded me that I had recently heard the word skeleton.
The guide had told me that I needed a skeleton key to open the safe. Was the word uttered by
this skeleton the necessary key? I tried it, and it was. Inside the safe was another treasure – a
crown. I put it on and soon I started hearing whispers. Eventually the whispers became loud
enough for me to make them out. There were four keys, four magic words including the one I
had heard from the skeleton, and I wrote them down. By now the whispers had become shouts
that were uncomfortably loud; so I took off the crown. I had collected as many objects as I could
carry and then some; so I decided to store all my treasures in the building. But when I tried to
cross the wheat-coloured bridge, it parted, dropping me into the volcano!
The next time around, I had no need to map the catacombs. The skeleton gave me a
different key, and it opened the safe. But how was I going to get back across the wheat-coloured
bridge? I recalled having heard a voice before being dropped into the volcano. It referred to
“my sceptre”. This must have been the skeleton speaking to me. I tried crossing the bridge
without the sceptre and did so safely. But the sceptre was a treasure and I wanted to take it to the
building. Then I remembered that I had seen another safe earlier in the game. Was it really
another safe? If not, then there was a way to get the sceptre into the building without trying to
carry it across the bridge. I dropped the sceptre, along with all my other treasures, in the safe,
and then returned to the “other” safe. The same magic word opened it, and yes, it contained all
the treasures. I stored them in the building and then returned to the north end of the valley (the
troll didn’t appear this time) and followed the north-west passage.
It led to the south end of a multi-coloured fog. I ventured into the fog. Every move led
me to a different room with a differently coloured fog. Another maze! I started dropping objects
13
to map this maze. Every move led to a new room until I ran out of objects. And then something
occurred to me: fog obstructs vision more when it is lit up. I turned off my lamp and there, on
the floor, were all the objects I had dropped! There was really only one foggy room, and moving
around just changed its colour. There was also a light shining from some direction, and by
experimenting I found that moving in any other direction changed the direction from which the
light shone. I collected all my objects and followed the light to a rock with a hole leading down.
I descended into inky blackness. Turning on my lamp, I found myself in a small non-descript
chamber with a passage leading back up into the fog and another passage leading north to a room
with a pentagram.
I recalled what I knew about pentagrams – they trap demons. Could this be the
bargaining position I needed to wrest a favour from the Djinn? I put the flask in the pentagram
and opened the flask. The Djinn floated out of the flask and tried to escape from the pentagram
but failed. Finding himself at my mercy, he begged me to open the pentagram, which I did. The
grateful Djinn then gave me some information about Ralph Witt, the architect of this cave, and
then floated away. I continued north and then climbed up a chimney into a lava tube. Going
south led me to a one-way descent back to the south end of the fog (the way to get out of this
area) and going north-west led me to a basalt shelf, where I saw another treasure: a shimmering
starstone. The Djinn reappeared and told me about another magic word, one that kills dwarves
but is risky to use, and then disappeared again.
I picked up the starstone and the guide expressed surprise that it was really there. What
did he mean by that? I dropped the starstone and tried to pick it up again. This time it wasn’t
really there – what I was seeing was an image of the starstone. I hunted around and found the
real starstone, which I picked up, and then I returned to the basalt shelf and examined the
scenery. I recalled having read something about a basalt shelf. It was on the poster in the
building, and it said that I should go beyond it, but there didn’t seem to be any way to get down.
Well, I had already opened up three new areas by magic; perhaps the same trick would
work here. I waved my magic wand and the scenery beyond the basalt shelf changed radically.
Now I couldn’t get back to the top of the chimney, but I could get down off the shelf by going
west, which I did, to the foot of a cliff at the eastern edge of a desert. The guide advised me that
I would need more water than I had. Perhaps there was an opening somewhere in the cliff that
would lead me to water. I decided to explore the cliff before adventuring into the desert. My
progress north was blocked after two moves, but going south I came to a dry riverbed, to the east
of which was a cave from which a hot wind was blowing. I tried to enter the cave and was
pushed back, not by wind but by water. None of the magic I tried got me into that cave; so I
went south one more time and found another cave, and this time I was able to enter with no
problem.
I followed a corridor until I came to the south shore of a stream. I drank from it and then
filled both my bottle and my flask with water. There was a flimsy bridge across the stream. I
crossed the bridge – it sagged but held – and explored the area around the north shore. The guide
advised me that it was useless to go east. I went anyway, and although I did see something
interesting, it really was useless. I went north, and at the end of a corridor I found a treasure: a
14
crystal skull. I took it and ventured back across the bridge – and it parted, dropping me into the
stream, where I was dashed to death on some rocks.
The next time around, I examined the bridge carefully. It was called a Value Added Tax
bridge. I had already paid the Tax – my life – but what did Value Added mean? When you
return home after visiting another country, you have to pay duty on whatever you buy there. In
this case, the other country was the area north of the bridge, and the item I had “bought” was the
crystal skull. I had added to my value by picking up the skull, and the bridge had extracted the
tax it considered appropriate. But suppose I compensated by leaving a different treasure at the
north end of the bridge? I memorized the game and then experimented. Yes, that worked, but it
didn’t represent a viable solution. I tried throwing the skull across the stream and it landed in the
stream. I found it in the dry riverbed, but it was broken and worth fewer points when I dropped
it in the building. I tried throwing a less fragile object into the stream and never did find it. And
then I remembered that one of the treasures had teleported to a different location when I dropped
it, leaving behind an image of itself. I dropped the starstone at the north end of the bridge,
crossed the bridge safely carrying the skull, found the real starstone at the south end of the bridge
and picked it up. I drank once more, exited the cave, followed the cliff back to the place to
which I had descended from the basalt shelf and then ventured westward into the desert.
Soon I found my progress blocked by a sand dune. It was very windy here, and the wind
was blowing the sand around. I waited, and the wind blew enough of the sand away that I could
proceed west. After three steps I saw a spire ahead of me, and two steps later I was at the bottom
of the spire. There was a spiral ramp part way up the spire, but I wasn’t at the foot of the ramp.
I walked around the spire until I came to the foot of the ramp and ascended three times until I got
to the top of the spire. There I found another treasure – a sunstone – sitting on top of a pedestal.
I picked up the sunstone and tried to go down the ramp, but the sunstone wouldn’t let me!
I examined the sunstone: it was white with a red centre. I dropped the sunstone and it emitted a
flash of green light. I picked it up again and saw that its centre was now green. Would it now
permit me to go down the ramp? Yes, one flight down, but now I could neither ascend nor
descend. The next time around, I memorized the game and experimented with the sunstone. It
started red, and each time I dropped it, it changed colour until, after eight colours, it turned red
again. For each colour, I tried going in each of the eight possible directions and found that there
were three adjacent directions in which the sunstone wouldn’t let me go. When it was red, those
directions included east, the direction I had to go in order to get to the ramp. I turned it green,
descended one level and then dropped it, hoping to descend further. Instead of landing on the
ramp, it fell all the way down into the sand. I returned to the bottom, but found no sunstone. It
had been buried irretrievably in the sand.
Before recovering from this screw-up, I decided to see whether there was any other point
of interest in the desert. Unwilling to slog through it, I climbed up to the top of the spire and
looked around. There was an outcrop to the north-east. I returned to the bottom and went two
steps north-east and there I saw a path leading north-west. I followed it to the outcrop, where I
found another treasure, a windrose. Realizing that it would be difficult to get to the windrose
while carrying the sunstone, the next time around I got the windrose before climbing up the
spire, took the sunstone and then examined my list of forbidden directions. There was no colour
15
that would allow me to descend the ramp more than one level! There was only one way to get
the sunstone to the bottom of the ramp. I turned it green, descended one level, and then jumped.
My fall was broken by a sand dune, but the sunstone had turned a colour that prevented
movement eastward. Fortunately I could drop it here without losing it, and soon I had climbed
back up the basalt shelf. To return to the lava tube I waved the magic wand once more.
Once I was back in the cave, the sunstone stopped misbehaving. It was, after all, a
sunstone, and it only did its thing in sunlight. I returned to the safe and entered “drop treasure”.
Big mistake! The starstone disappeared and I couldn’t find it anywhere nearby. Rather than
search the entire cave, I recalled a memorized game, and the next time around I held on to the
starstone and then stowed all my other treasures in the building.
There were three passages I had seen but I hadn’t yet explored: the “alike” maze, a
passage leading down from the secret canyon south-west of the Hall of the Mountain King and a
passage leading east from the giant room. It was risky to carry treasures into the maze – the
pirate would probably steal them before I could drop them – but by now I had collected enough
other objects that I would be able to map the maze; so I decided to do that first. It wasn’t easy,
because occasionally a dwarf would pick up one of the objects I had dropped, but eventually I
succeeded. One of the rooms in the maze was the brink of a pit and one of the dead ends
contained the pirate’s treasure chest – another treasure – and all the treasures he had stolen,
including the vase. I couldn’t carry them all; so I picked up as many as I could. Unwilling to
traverse the maze several times, I threw them into the pit, then picked up the rest of them and
descended into the pit. It was the orange chamber in which I had found the bird. In two trips I
had brought them all to the building, but I didn’t drop them all at once – I remembered what had
happened when I had dropped the vase. I needed to drop it on something soft. I went to the soft
room and tried dropping it on the pillow I found there, and the vase remained intact. I picked up
both the pillow and the vase, entered the building, dropped the pillow and then entered “drop
treasure”, and the vase remained intact.
But my score indicated that there was one treasure I hadn’t got credit for dropping. I had
made the same mistake a second time: the starstone had teleported somewhere else, leaving only
its image in the building. I searched for it and finally found it in the valley. But where was I
going to drop it so that it would teleport to the building? And then I remembered a sign I had
seen nearby. In part it had said “This .. the .lace to …. the s……..” I went there, but as soon as I
arrived, the giant pushed me out again. From what he said, it occurred to me that he wanted
nothing further to do with me. But suppose he didn’t recognize me? I recalled having found an
object that gave me the illusion of being disguised. I donned the mask, and this time the giant
greeted me warmly, giving me a bucket of champagne. There was a picnic table laden with food.
Under the table were some boxes, but I couldn’t see them clearly enough to identify their
contents. I dropped the starstone and returned to the building. There was the real starstone, and
by taking score I found that I had received full credit for it.
Next I tried the passage down from the secret canyon. It led to a couple of dead ends and
a valuation room. There was a sign saying “free valuation” and a slot. I dropped a treasure and
was told that it was valuable. I dropped an object that wasn’t a treasure and was told that it was
16
useful but not valuable. But I had lost both objects irretrievably. Free evaluation indeed! I was
never going back there again!
Finally I tried the passage leading east from the giant room. It led through a low tunnel
into a large room. There was a mean-looking ogre blocking my way! I threw my axe at him,
and he caught it and threw it back, killing me. I was going to need that sword after all. I
restored an earlier game, got the sword and headed for the ogre. I swung my sword at the ogre
and he grabbed it from me and used it to chop off my head. The next time around, I examined
the sword and saw that it had a name, which told me how to use it. Only after killing the ogre
did I turn the sword into a ring.
EAST OF THE GIANT ROOM
The next room I came to was a Sorcerer’s Lair where I read two words, the name of a
famous inventor written backwards. I uttered these words and a bolt of lightning struck my lamp
and killed me. The next time around, I dropped the lamp before uttering the words. This time I
wasn’t killed but my lamp was; so I had to recover again. I was never doing that again! I
continued east from the Sorcerer’s Lair to the brink of a pit. From the east side of the pit I
followed some winding passages to a straight one where my progress was blocked by some
slime. The magic wand didn’t work here, but I recalled having accidentally released some stinky
pink vapour that I had thought might be useful elsewhere. It was: opening the vial here did
destroy the slime. Two moves south and I found a treasure: some opals. From the west side of
the pit I followed some more winding passages to an Ice Room. There was a one-way slide
down. I slid down and landed in an ice maze.
It wasn’t necessary to drop objects here because the direction each passage led was
clearly indicated and most of them were straight. I mapped the maze, drawing the map carefully
on a piece of paper. In one of the rooms I found a treasure – a sculpture that changed each time I
looked at it. Finally I got to a room with a sign saying “This way out”. The one passage from
this room led back into the maze; evidently the way out was a magic word. None of the magic
words I knew got me out; so the one that would work must be new. I examined the map I had
drawn. The straight passages all formed what looked like upside-down letters joined by passages
that were almost straight. I turned my map upside down and the word became readable. I
uttered the word and was teleported back to the ice room, and soon I had deposited the two new
treasures in the building.
Now I had explored everything I could get to. I reread the poster and discovered that
there were some things I still hadn’t done: I hadn’t used the chalice, got to the island or dealt
with the card-playing dwarves. I also hadn’t finished fertilizing the beanstalk on the beach, got
past the gate into the garden or found blood for the vampire. But I had found a drink that I
thought he might like instead of blood: the giant had given it to me. I offered the bucket of
champagne to the vampire. He drained it and said something about rewarding me, but then he
fell asleep. I decided to leave, but fortunately he woke up and offered me a treasure: diamondtipped fangs, which I stowed in the building. That was easy! The other undone tasks seemed
more difficult with one exception: using the chalice.
17
THE CHALICE
I could think of only one way to use a chalice – by drinking water from it, which I did
just outside the building. An image of a beautiful young woman appeared and asked me to
return the ring to the Temple of Orion. I agreed, and she produced a unicorn, which she said
would help me get to the Temple of Orion, and disappeared. Then the Devil appeared, told me
to mind my own business, vowed to sabotage the unicorn and disappeared as well. I decided to
ignore his advice and rode the unicorn – straight to Hell, where I was booted out of the game by
the angry guide and had to restore rather than recalling.
But then I thought that the unicorn might be useful in another way. I had found one bit
fertilizer for the plant on the beach; perhaps the unicorn could provide me with another one – if I
fed it. There was more food in the pantry, and the sated unicorn promptly obliged me. There
was only one container suitable for scooping it up: the one given to me by the giant. Soon I had
fertilized the beanstalk a second time and it grew as high as the top of the cliff.
I climbed part way up to a narrow ledge, at the north end of which there was a bush.
There was an object of some kind partially hidden by the bush. Afraid to traverse such a narrow
ledge, I continued to the top. The cliff turned out to be the one with the sign – and now with the
giant – and one of the boxes I had seen under the picnic table was now reachable. It was labeled
Turkish delights. Although I couldn’t see how I could use it, I took it and climbed down to the
narrow ledge. The object in the bush might be either valuable or useful and I was determined to
get it; so I tried to traverse the ledge and promptly fell to my death.
The next time around I asked for help and was told something about my centre of gravity
being beyond the edge of the ledge. Before falling down I would first move in the direction
away from the cliff – unless I could prevent motion in that direction. Well, I had found an object
that prevented motion in a direction I could control. I retrieved the sunstone from the building
and returned to the beanstalk; then turned the sunstone the appropriate colour and climbed half
way up. Gingerly I stepped out onto the narrow ledge and picked up the object – it was a carpet
beater. I made it safely back to the beanstalk and climbed to the top, hoping to take a shortcut
back to the building. Unfortunately I hadn’t taken the mask with me and the guide wouldn’t let
me meet the giant without the mask; so I had to take the long way around, made longer by the
sunstone, but eventually I put the sunstone back in the building.
The rug was where I had left it – beside the rotting corpse of the dragon. Evidently it was
too heavy for the dwarves to steal. I picked it up (after first rolling it up), carried it to the end of
the road (the unicorn had disappeared), dropped it, unrolled it and beat it with the carpet beater.
It was now clean enough that I could read something written on it, probably a magic word. I
uttered the word and the rug rose a couple of feet off the ground. This was a magic carpet! I
tried to ride it but was told that I was carrying too much, and even when I dropped all my
belongings except the ring it only rose a few feet and then gave up. Well, if it couldn’t fly,
perhaps it could at least glide, as long as I started out at the top of a cliff. Carrying only the rug,
I raced to the top of the cliff. When I got there, the giant recognized me – I had forgotten to take
the mask – but he was too fascinated by the prospect of seeing someone fly to push me away. I
18
tried to ride the rug and was advised to save the game first in case I was forgetting something
vital. I did, then picked up my lamp, my water-filled bottle and my axe and rode the rug. After
waiting three times I landed on the east-facing beach of the island, which I proceeded to explore
– and I’m going to let you explore it yourself rather than giving directions.
THE ISLAND
From here I could see a white structure partially hidden by the trees – possibly the
Temple of Orion. I explored every accessible location on the island. There was a stream from
which I could refill my bottle if necessary. There was a low ridge from which I tried to descend
to a bog, but the guide wouldn’t let me unless I had the proper footwear and had seen the bog
from a better vantage point. There was such a vantage point. There was a place where I found
some mud shoes – after first attempting to leave. And there was a pine tree at the north side of a
ravine. The pine tree was long enough to cross the ravine if I could chop it down. I tried to do
so and was advised that my axe was meant for throwing, not for chopping. I needed something
harder and sharper than the axe. Diamond is the world’s hardest substance. I had found some
diamonds, but they weren’t sharp enough. I had also found something with sharp diamond tips.
It had been given to me by the vampire. I thought of restoring my game, but then it occurred to
me that I could instead get off the island, retrieve the fangs and return.
Having seen the bog from on high and found the mud shoes, I descended from the low
ridge to the south-east corner of the bog, put on the shoes, crossed to the north-west corner,
removed the shoes and proceeded to a waterfall. Despite the guide’s incredulity, I passed under
the waterfall and found a door that said (in Dwarvish) that only Dwarvish speakers were allowed
here. I tried opening the door, but to no avail. I tried saying “open door” in Dwarvish and the
door opened, but immediately closed again. Evidently it heard the guide speak English and
refused him admittance. I asked the guide to speak Dwarvish and gained entrance to a mine. I
then asked him (in Dwarvish) to speak English and the door closed again, but I had no desire to
return to the bog. I explored the mine and found one treasure – a metal flower. I found a crawl
that led out of the mine and had to cross the bog again to get back in. And I found a small
platform at the east end of which was a void.
Again defying the guide’s incredulity, I stepped off the platform and onto an invisible
bridge. I continued eastward until I arrived at another small platform, this one over a volcano. I
had been here before; I said the appropriate magic word and teleported to Y2 (the second one),
then went to the building, deposited the flower, retrieved the fangs and returned to the pine tree
on the island. I put on the fangs, bit the pine tree and pushed it across the ravine. I crossed to the
south side and two steps later I was in the Temple. There was nobody there; so I tried to leave,
but suddenly the beautiful young woman appeared, took the ring and put it on the floor. She then
produced a thurible and waved it. It produced a lot of smoke and created a staircase leading
down. She ran down the stairs was quickly followed by the Devil. I too descended the stairs.
The grateful girl handed me another treasure – the thurible – and the angry Devil teleported me
19
back to the east-facing beach and scattered my possessions all over the island. You’ll be amused
to learn what the girl and Devil were fighting over!
I explored the entire island and found all my possessions except the thurible. I descended
from the low ridge to the bog and found the thurible there. And then I re-entered the mine, left
the island and dropped the thurible in the building and the rug just outside it.
It remained to deal with the card-playing dwarves and gain entrance to the garden. I had
no idea how to get into the garden, but I did have an idea how to make the dwarves leave their
room.
THE CARD-PLAYING DWARVES
I recalled having seen a fire alarm that I couldn’t reach. Well, I didn’t need to reach the
fire alarm to make it ring. A fire alarm will ring if smoke gets into it. I recalled that the woman
who gave me the thurible had waved it, producing smoke. When I waved it, it produced more
smoke. I took it to the fire alarm and waved it. The alarm rang and the dwarves ran down the
stairs. I ran up the stairs to the top, opened the door and entered the dwarves’ quarters. There
was a knocker in the room attached to a wall rather than a door. I knocked, then descended two
flights to the other door, and this time I was able to open it. I entered the storage room, and the
alarm stopped ringing. I found some items the dwarves had stolen. I picked them up and the
dwarves entered the room and killed me.
The next time around I didn’t take the time to pick anything up. There were shelves in
the storage room. I climbed up to the top of the shelves and saw a trapdoor. I climbed up
through the trapdoor and found myself on the roof of the tower. From the tower I could see the
garden – until the dwarves climbed up through the trapdoor and killed me. After ringing the fire
alarm I would have just enough time to run up the stairs, knock, enter the storage room, climb up
the shelves and the trapdoor and close the trapdoor, which I did the next time around.
I climbed down some vines to the garden, which I explored. In one corner of the garden I
found a treasure: a rosebowl. I took the rosebowl to the gate, but I couldn’t climb the gate
carrying such a big object as the rosebowl. I dropped the rosebowl and climbed the gate, but
then I couldn’t get back in to get the rosebowl! Fooling the dwarves once more, I returned to the
roof of the tower. After closing the trapdoor, I heard them closing the door to the storage room.
Perhaps I could open the trapdoor without them hearing me. I tried it, and it worked. I picked
up the stolen items and explored the top of the shelves, and at the west end of the shelves there
was another treasure – a marble bust of a horse’s head. I tried to open the door to the storage
room, but failed; so I took everything out through the trapdoor to the roof of the tower and closed
the trapdoor.
I tried to climb down the vines to the garden, but I couldn’t do so carrying such a big item
as the bust. I threw the bust into the garden and climbed down the vines. The bust was busted,
and I had to recover from another screw-up.
20
It occurred to me that there was a way to get down from the roof of the tower into the
garden carrying at least one big object. The roof of the tower was as good as the top of a cliff
any day! Using the magic carpet, I managed to take the bust into the garden. I picked up the
rosebowl. How was I going to climb the gate carrying not one but two big objects? Without
much hope I tried climbing the gate, and it opened briefly and then closed. Apparently the bust
had some magic that could open the gate. The bust of the horse’s head should have told me that,
since I had seen some horses when I tried to climb the gate from the outside. I walked to the gate
as if it weren’t there, and it opened up for long enough to let me pass through.
I deposited the treasures in the building and the rug just outside of it and then I went back
into the cave to collect the treasures I had seen in earlier lives but hadn’t collected in this one.
The last of these was the beads. To get them, I would have to jump into the whirlpool carrying
nothing but my lamp. I had been reluctant to leave my axe behind, but now that I was wearing
the ring I no longer needed the axe. Before I could return to the building, a sepulchral voice
announced the closing of the cave. I wanted to get full credit for the beads and the ring; so I tried
everything I could think of to get back into the building, but neither xyzzy nor plugh would
teleport me out of the cave and the keys would no longer fit into the grate, and before I could get
to any other exit, the cave closed.
THE END GAME
I found myself empty-handed in the north-east corner of a repository, where there were
some objects of various sorts and some birds, some sleeping dwarves and a sign saying not to
disturb them. In the south-west corner there were other types of objects, including a mirror, and
some snakes. Hitting the mirror broke it, and freeing a bird near a snake disturbed the dwarves,
and each of these actions had fatal results.
There were no other locations accessible from here – unless I could somehow make a
hole in the wall. I looked at the vocabulary of verbs and found the verb “blast”. To blast, I
would need an explosive. I examined all the objects. In both corners there were rods. I took one
from each corner and examined them both. The one from the north-east corner had a rusty star
like the one I had used before, but the other one had a rusty mark instead. Was this a stick of
dynamite? It was, but I died three times before I found out how to use it correctly. Each death
taught me a lesson. Lesson number one: do not detonate dynamite while holding it. Lesson
number two: do not detonate dynamite while standing in the same corner of the room. Lesson
number three: do not disturb the dwarves without killing them. Well, if the truth be told, it was
lava that killed me, not the dwarves, but the same course of action was indicated: drop the
dynamite in the north-east corner and detonate it from the other one.
A hole did appear, and then the unicorn walked out of the hole and approached me.
Remembering past experience, I was reluctant to ride it. I thought of going out through the hole,
but it was dark and the lamps in the repository had no power. There didn’t seem to be any other
course of action open to me except to ride the unicorn; so I reluctantly mounted it, and the
unicorn just as reluctantly carried me, not to Hell but to a gray mist. I could see nothing and go
nowhere. A magic word was in order.
21
I said “xyzzy” and “plugh” but nothing happened. Then I recalled the Djinn’s first piece
of advice: Ralph Witt had wanted to reverse the alphabet. Was I supposed to say the magic
words in reverse alphabetical order? I listed all the magic words in reverse alphabetical order
and said the first one on the list. The guide said “OK”. I said the second one – xyzzy – and this
time it was accepted. I continued down the list until I got to plugh again nothing happened. Had
I missed one? Yes: the inventor’s name spelled backwards was two magic words, not one. I
started over, and when I got to plover I was told that I couldn’t get there from here. Apparently,
plover didn’t count as a magic word. I said the next word on my list – noside – and again
nothing happened. Had I missed one again? Yes: the one mentioned by the Djinn in his second
piece of advice. Again I started over, and this time I finally got to the end of the list and was
teleported to the end of the road, with the building to the east of me.
I went east and ended up not in the building but up the hill, as if I had gone west instead.
Did I always have to go in the opposite direction to the one I wanted to go? I tried going west
twice and yes, I ended up in the building. But there were no treasures in the building. Where
were they? I recalled having seen the treasure room from the balcony near the north side of the
reservoir. Perhaps my treasures were there. The treasure room was in the cave; so I would have
to find some way to get back into the cave. Neither xyzzy nor plugh would teleport me into the
cave; so I decided to try the grate. I turned my map of the area upside down, exited the building
(by going east instead of west) and followed the stream north instead of south. When I got to the
slit, I found that it was now five feet wide instead of five inches wide. I climbed down through
the slit and found myself in a flooded room with a sign telling me to use another entrance. I tried
walking around and was advised that it would be dangerous to do so. A magic word was in order
here, and both xyzzy and plugh got me back inside the building. I would have to find another
entrance to the cave.
I tried the gate that led to the garden but without the bust I was unable to climb it. I
recalled having seen the top of the cliff from the top of the beanstalk; so I went to the top of the
cliff. The sign said something different from before, but the beanstalk had disappeared. There
was only one other entrance I knew about: the well. I went there and tried to climb down, but
there were no longer any footholds. There was only one way to get down: I jumped. I landed on
a pile of soft carpets and found myself in the treasure room surrounded by treasures.
I had won the game, but with far fewer than 770 points. Aside from the penalty points I
had been assessed and the value of the treasures I had seen but not dropped in the building, I was
short 29 points. Since each treasure except the sapphire was worth seven points to see and seven
points to store, that meant that I was missing two treasures and that there was one more point
unaccounted for. I had made a list of the treasures I had found. There were 39 of them and the
FAQ about the game had said that there were 41. Apparently the count-down to the closure of
the cave started when I had seen all the objects that were treasures when I saw them. What were
the two missing treasures? And what would I have to do to get that one other missing point?
22
THE LAST FEW POINTS
I decided to play an experimental game. Before looking for the missing points, I wanted
to satisfy my curiosity about a few other items. Saying the wrong skeleton key after hearing the
right one did nothing, but guessing the skeleton key before hearing the right one did something –
something bad. The path south-east from the open sunlit forest south-east of the bird seed table
was invisible until it had been traversed in the opposite direction, and going south-east from the
open sunlit forest prematurely got me lost in the woods. The dead end in the “alike” maze in
which I had previously found the pirate’s treasure chest contained nothing unless the pirate either
stole from me or got spotted. If I dropped the bird or some big object in the brick cellar, I
wouldn’t lose it and the wizard wouldn’t insult me. And he didn’t always teleport me to the Hall
of Mists. Among the various places to which he could teleport me was a random place in the
“alike” maze. I had made a map of this maze, and I figured out a way to escape from the maze
from any location even if I didn’t initially know where I was. After each move I would either
arrive back in the Hall of Mists or the brink of the pit or some dead end, or be told that I had
crawled around some little passages and finished back where I started or that there was no way to
go in that direction or that I was in the maze, (which, by the way, didn’t necessarily mean that I
had moved to a different spot). Depending upon the message I received, I could figure out which
locations I could have been in and which locations I could now be in. The proper direction to go
in would be the one that minimized the maximum number of places I could be in. From the map
I constructed a scheme to find my location after at most three moves; so I now had no fear of
being teleported into the maze. And now it was time to search for the missing points.
I recalled having been killed in the sewer after seeing the tusk. The description of the
tusk didn’t contain the required exclamation mark, but it seemed strange to have to risk death to
get an item that was neither a treasure nor useful to obtain a treasure. I returned to the sewer,
took the tusk, went half way down the inclined shaft and looked down. There was the sea water
mixed with raw sewage. Perhaps if I waited a while, the water would descend. I did and it did,
and I slid the rest of the way down and found myself in a culvert waist deep in filthy water.
Going north, I came to a grill, on the other side of which was the sea, and found a tarnished
spoon and the paper packet I had dropped in the brick cellar. I returned to the culvert and
explored the sewer pipes. Several deaths later, either by drowning or by rat bite, I found the way
out of the sewer. After two moves from the culvert I found a hole in one of the pipes leading
upwards and out. In case you’re too squeamish to explore the sewer pipes yourself, I’ll tell you
the two directions in Dwarvish: tpvui, tpvui-xftu.
I found myself in a maze with a stream in each room. After wandering around for a
while I asked for help and the guide told me that he was preventing me from leaving the maze to
protect me from the dwarves. Another request for help yielded the advice that I shouldn’t have
been in the sewers. Well, how else was I going to get the tusk? Maybe what he meant was that I
shouldn’t get near the dwarves after being in the sewers. Why not? Well, having been in the
sewers I stank and the dwarves would notice me more easily! I washed in the stream and
continued wandering around. And then it occurred to me: to get out of the sewer I had gone up.
Perhaps I should go up to get out of the maze. I did – six times – and found myself in a jumble
of rocks. From there I went down to Y2, from which I teleported into the building and dropped
23
the tusk. And yes, once I dropped it in the building, it became a treasure. Fourteen points down,
fifteen to go.
Was the spoon a treasure? No, and neither were any of the other objects that hadn’t been
treasures when I had dropped them in the building. But I had never dropped the rug in the
building. I did so and was advised to have it valuated. I had been reluctant to valuate anything
after having lost the two items I did valuate, but I decided to take the advice. The rug was too
big to fit into the slot; so I didn’t lose it. I noticed a bell I hadn't seen before and I rang it. The
valuator appeared and told me that the rug was worthless because it was Persian and he was only
interested in Turkish objects. I had seen a Turkish object at the top of the beanstalk on the
beach. With the Turkish delights in hand, I returned to the Valuation Room and rang the bell
again. The valuator was delighted with the box of Turkish delights. He took it, and to reward
me, he agreed to call the rug a treasure but advised me to clean it. That got me seven points,
dropping the rug in the building got me another seven points, and now there was only one point
to go.
I recalled reading in the instructions that points are scored for evidence that I had been in
some of the more harrowing places. Well, I had been at my wits’ end trying to get out of one of
these places, but I hadn’t received any points for going there. Perhaps I hadn’t left evidence of
my presence there. Leaving an object there would be evidence enough, but which one? It would
have to be something that was neither valuable nor useful. I went to Witt’s End carrying the
only three objects that seemed to fit that description: the empty packet of fertilizer, the tarnished
spoon and the magazines and dropped each one, keeping score each time. The one that worked
was the one I had found closest to Witt’s End. In the anteroom. The magazines.
There was one thing more I had to do before making an assault on a 770-point game. I
now knew how to avoid every way of getting killed except one: getting hit by a knife thrown by
a dwarf before I got the ring. If that happened, I would have to start a new game rather than
accept a penalty. The sooner I got the ring, the less time I would have wasted before having to
start a new game. But to get credit for the ring I would have to put it in the building and then
enter the cave without it and there was some chance that I’d meet a dwarf before the cave closed.
The magic word that the Djinn told me about was too risky to use, and if the owl happened to be
too far away, I would risk being killed and having to start a new game after spending several
hours. That was a chance I was not prepared to take if I could help it. I recalled that I had never
met a dwarf beyond the troll bridge, but that was so far away from any entrance to the cave that I
could get killed before I got to it. I decided to see whether there were any no-go zones for
dwarves that were close to an entrance to the cave. Wearing the ring, I wandered around, and
when a dwarf appeared I let him follow me rather than trying to kill him. There were several
places to which he didn’t follow me, and two of them were close enough to an entrance to be
useful: from the east end of the Hall of Mists to the top of the stone steps and from Y2 to the
plover room. The former seemed like the better choice because there was more room to walk
around, and if I was wrong, there was one more option. When I turned off my lamp, the dwarf
didn’t throw knives at me; so if I did meet a dwarf I could turn off my lamp and then wait
without falling into a pit by repeatedly keeping score until the cave closed.
24
Now I was ready to make a final assault on a 770-point game – or so I thought. There
was one thing I hadn’t thought of: no matter how efficiently I played, my lamp would run out of
power long before I finished the game even if I turned it off whenever I was in a lit location.
When that did happen, I decided that there was only one course of action open to me. I dropped
the lamp and said the magic words I had read in the Sorcerer’s Lair. Miraculously, the lamp
started shining again instead of being killed by the bolt of lightning. Apparently the magic
words work properly only when the lamp is out of power!
Now I could play without worrying about the lamp. I made sure to valuate the carpet and
get the tusk before seeing the last treasure, and for the last treasure I chose the one that could be
obtained in the fewest moves from the building except for the silver bars, which I would see
early in the game: the pyramid. After dropping it in the building I dropped the ring there too,
then teleported to the debris room and wandered back and forth between the grate and the top of
the stone steps leading to the Hall of Mists. Maybe I had made the right choice and maybe I was
just lucky, but I didn’t meet any dwarves before the cave closed. I managed to finish the game
with all 770 points and now, dear reader, so can you!