UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY
Difference is the Greatest Influence: An Autoethnographic
Exploration of Transcultural Sexual Fluidity
by
Roger G. Francis
A THESIS
SUBMITTED TO THE FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES
IN PARTIAL FULFILMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE
DEGREE OF DOCTOR OF EDUCATION
GRADUATE PROGRAM IN EDUCATIONAL RESEARCH
CALGARY, ALBERTA
SEPTEMBER, 2016
© Roger G. Francis 2016
APPROVAL PAGE
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Abstract
The lived experiences of transcultural sexually fluid identities (TSFI) within Canada’s diverse
transnational communities remain an unexplored area of individuality and difference. TSFI fits
within the general referencing of non-heteronormative sexual identities. In spite of Canada’s
projected diversity and accommodating laws for human differences, there is still a stigma
attached to non-traditional sexual expressions. Across the diverse Canadian landscape, there are
numerous interpretations and understandings of same gender sex (SGS) engagement. In this
study, interpretations of TSFI are viewed through a blended theoretical lens of borderland theory
(Anzaldúa, 1993) and liminality theory (Turner, 1969). This fused theoretical lens informs a
deeper understanding of TSFI and allows for an examination of the many identities that exist
within the spectrum of non-heteronormative sexual identities. The non-heteronormative sexual
identity context is a fluid spectrum of diversity consisting of various sexual identity labels
residing in a space that are referenced in this research as fluidsexuality. Fluidsexuality is a term
created for this research and refers to the range of sexual identities present between the binary
constructs of heterosexuality and homosexuality. The combined poles of these binary concepts
are premised by another term created for this research henceforth referenced as binarysexuality.
Within the span of these opposite poles, lies an array of same-gender-sex (SGS) sexually fluid
labels. In examining the plethora of emerging SGS labels, this research was guided by
autoethnographic methodology through which I explored TSFI identities across Canada. This
study investigated the lived experiences of TSFIs and how their lives can inform knowledge
development that may result in a rejuvenated adult learning pedagogy focused on diversity and
difference.
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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I wish to thank my participants for trusting me with their stories.
I wish to thank my daughter, Anna Francis, for putting up with me in the last several
months as I tried so hard to balance work, parenting and this dissertation journey.
Thank you to my sister, Dr. Carlia Francis, who has been a consistent rock of support
throughout my stretches of impatience while doing this work from start to finish. You travelled
from far to come to me many times, and babysat Anna as I travelled across North America to
present at various conferences. I will never forget your generosity for never saying no when I
needed to be rescued by stepping in to parent for me when I had to work.
Thank you to my other siblings Natalie Francis, Paul Francis and Stacy Francis for your
prayers and encouragement from afar. Thank you to my many cousins and friends who have
encouraged me along the way.
Thank you Mrs. Yvonne Stephens (Aunt Vonnie) – my other mother, who taught me in
grade 4 and has never left my side since. Ms. Shirley Wilson (Aunt Pansy) has been another
mother and a rock of support at every stage of my life since leaving Jamaica. Ms. Merna
McGrath (Aunt Merna) yet another mother who has never left my side since birth.
My master’s (M.Ed.) thesis supervisor Dr. Lorayne Robertson, has been a co-pilot for my
path into doctoral work. There were many times when you met with me in Tim Horton’s and
other venues to help me get things right for my master’s research. Thank you for caring so much
even to this day!!!
Dr. Helen Wolf – you are my friend and strong support, my desire to be an educator was
ignited as a result of working part time with you for six years at the College of New Rochelle in
New York (CNR). You have never left my side even when I left my employment at CNR to
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pursue my M.Ed. and Ed.D. To all my past students of CNR, who changed me and helped make
me who I am. I love you all!!!
To all my Ed.D. doctoral cohort brothers and sisters – you believed in me from day one
of our residence courses, so much so that when I contemplated leaving the Ed.D. program due to
finances, you all came to my rescue and made magic happen for me to remain in the program.
You all asked me not to disclose this to anyone, I am sorry, but I must disobey your wishes. I
would be remiss, by not paying this tribute to you, for had it not been for your intervention, I
would not be where I am today, at the finish line.
I would like to recognize my professors who provided such a rich learning experience
throughout my doctoral journey: Dr. Janet Groen, Dr. Kaela Jubas, Dr. Kent Donlevy, Dr.
Shibao Guo and Dr. Beaumie Kim. I enjoyed learning from all of you, and I give you all a
heartfelt “Thank you!”
Dr. Colleen Kawalilak, my doctoral supervisor and also one of my professors. You have
been my rock and an unfailing support to me. I cannot find the words to tell you how much you
mean to me. You pushed me when I needed it, you encouraged me and you helped me keep my
footing. I thank God for bringing you into my life. You are simply amazing!!!!!! You are an
exceptional academic and the best supervisor a doctoral student could ask for. Colleen, your
exceptional enactment of the supervisory role, and your commitment to excellence, have
transformed me personally and professionally.
I would also like to thank my committee members Dr. Robert Mizzi, Dr. Kevin Alderson,
Dr. Andrew Estefan and Dr. Ian Winchester for their commitment to me and this dissertation.
Each of you has played a pivotal role and I will always remember the conversations that occurred
during this process. I am grateful for your individual areas of expertise and for your scholarly
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critique of my research. The conversations we have had were thought provoking, and helped me
to think deeper with the topic and with the participants’ stories.
A special thank you also to Ms. Eva Petakovic, Ms. Jordanne Amos, Mr. Ray Caban and
Dr. Yolanda Palmer-Clarke.
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DEDICATION
To my grandma, Lois White, you are now deceased but I have never forgotten your love for me.
I felt it even as a baby. Thank you for who you were to me when you were alive.
To my parents Clifford Francis and Maria Francis. I am a little bit of both of you, and I thank
God for all I am because of your union. I pray for your continued health and strength as you
both enjoy your years of retirement separately.
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Table of Contents
APPROVAL PAGE ......................................................................................................................... i
Abstract ........................................................................................................................................... ii
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS........................................................................................................... iii
DEDICATION............................................................................................................................... vi
Table of Contents.......................................................................................................................... vii
List of Tables ................................................................................................................................ xii
List of Abbreviations ................................................................................................................... xiii
CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION............................................................................................. 1
Overview......................................................................................................................................... 1
Intent of Study................................................................................................................................. 3
Introducing the Participants ............................................................................................................ 5
Researcher as Participant ............................................................................................................ 5
My formative years.................................................................................................................. 6
Identifying Participants ............................................................................................................... 7
Background and Context................................................................................................................. 8
Queer versus TSFI .......................................................................................................................... 9
TSFI Implications........................................................................................................................ 9
Immigration Experiences ................................................................................................................ 9
Problem Statement ........................................................................................................................ 10
Statement of Purpose .................................................................................................................... 11
Significance of This Research ...................................................................................................... 12
Research Questions....................................................................................................................... 13
Primary Research Question....................................................................................................... 13
Supporting Research Questions ................................................................................................ 13
Methodology................................................................................................................................. 14
Methods......................................................................................................................................... 15
Researcher Assumptions ........................................................................................................... 15
Summary ....................................................................................................................................... 17
CHAPTER TWO: LITERATURE REVIEW............................................................................... 18
Overview....................................................................................................................................... 18
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Immigration and Identity .............................................................................................................. 18
Diaspora .................................................................................................................................... 19
Transculture............................................................................................................................... 20
Transnational Identity ................................................................................................................... 21
Transnational Identity Negotiation ............................................................................................... 22
Transnational Identity Constructs ............................................................................................. 22
Ethnic identity........................................................................................................................ 23
SGS Theoretical Frameworks ....................................................................................................... 24
Theories Compared ................................................................................................................... 25
Fusion of Liminality Theory and Borderland Theory................................................................... 26
Liminality Theory ..................................................................................................................... 26
Borderland Theory .................................................................................................................... 28
Covering, Passing and Code Switching (CPC) Behaviours.......................................................... 32
Covering .................................................................................................................................... 32
Passing....................................................................................................................................... 34
Code Switching ......................................................................................................................... 36
Authenticity............................................................................................................................... 37
SGS Cross-Cultural Understandings ............................................................................................ 38
Ugandan Culture ....................................................................................................................... 40
Bangladeshi Culture .................................................................................................................. 41
Fluidsexuality and Fluidsexuality Labels.................................................................................. 43
Down Low (DL) Culture .............................................................................................................. 46
Black Down Low Culture (BDL).............................................................................................. 47
White and Other Down Low Culture (WDL) ........................................................................... 49
Sexual Fluidity Research .............................................................................................................. 50
Shifting and Moving Sexuality ..................................................................................................... 53
Representing in Social Spaces................................................................................................... 55
Transnational Sexuality Studies (TSS) and Adult Learning......................................................... 56
Adult Learning .......................................................................................................................... 57
Far Reaching Kaleidoscope....................................................................................................... 58
Summary ....................................................................................................................................... 59
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CHAPTER THREE: RESEARCH DESIGN................................................................................ 61
Overview....................................................................................................................................... 61
Epistemological Underpinnings.................................................................................................... 61
Autoethnography as Methodology................................................................................................ 62
Alignment.................................................................................................................................. 63
Research Sample........................................................................................................................... 63
Data Collection Methods .............................................................................................................. 65
Interviews .................................................................................................................................. 65
Journaling.................................................................................................................................. 66
Data Analysis ................................................................................................................................ 66
NVIVO Database Management ................................................................................................ 67
Filtering the Stories ................................................................................................................... 67
Phases of Analysis..................................................................................................................... 68
Trustworthiness............................................................................................................................. 70
Credibility.................................................................................................................................. 70
Dependability ............................................................................................................................ 71
Confirmability ........................................................................................................................... 71
Transferability ........................................................................................................................... 71
Ethics............................................................................................................................................. 72
Personal Safety.......................................................................................................................... 73
Limitations and Delimitations....................................................................................................... 74
Limitations ................................................................................................................................ 74
Delimitations ............................................................................................................................. 75
Summary ....................................................................................................................................... 75
CHAPTER FOUR: STORIES AND ANALYSIS OF THEMES................................................. 77
Overview....................................................................................................................................... 77
My Story ....................................................................................................................................... 77
Sexual Engagement ................................................................................................................... 77
Navigating Sexuality................................................................................................................. 78
Other Stories ................................................................................................................................. 79
John ........................................................................................................................................... 79
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Samuel....................................................................................................................................... 80
Mary .......................................................................................................................................... 80
Taroh ......................................................................................................................................... 80
Barry.......................................................................................................................................... 80
Tina............................................................................................................................................ 81
Donald ....................................................................................................................................... 81
Susan ......................................................................................................................................... 81
Theme: Religious Tension ............................................................................................................ 82
Sexual Abuse Generally............................................................................................................ 82
Religious Sexual Abuse ............................................................................................................ 83
Non-Religious (but Religious Affected) Sexual Abuse ............................................................ 85
Hypocrisy in the House of a Heteronormative God.................................................................. 87
Self-Discovery and Self-Acceptance ........................................................................................ 89
Theme: Identity Complexity......................................................................................................... 90
Sexual Identity Complexity....................................................................................................... 91
Gender Identity Complexity...................................................................................................... 91
Lost Opportunities for Love...................................................................................................... 93
Complexities when Choosing Partners ..................................................................................... 94
Masculinity................................................................................................................................ 95
Immigration Experiences Affecting Identity............................................................................. 96
Theme: Belonging or Not Belonging.......................................................................................... 100
Feeling Different Around Other SGS...................................................................................... 100
Time and Context .................................................................................................................... 102
Safety and Belonging .............................................................................................................. 103
Family and Belonging ............................................................................................................. 106
Not Belonging and Feeling Unsettled ..................................................................................... 110
SGS Disjuncture: – Where Do We Belong? ........................................................................... 112
Reflection.................................................................................................................................... 115
Cohort Support from Fellow Doctoral Classmates ................................................................. 116
Summary ..................................................................................................................................... 118
CHAPTER FIVE: ....................................................................................................................... 119
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DISCUSSION, IMPLICATIONS, AND RECOMMENDATIONS .......................................... 119
Overview..................................................................................................................................... 120
Catholic Church .......................................................................................................................... 121
Celebrating Diversity .............................................................................................................. 121
Hypocrisy ................................................................................................................................ 122
Thoughts about SGS Expression ................................................................................................ 122
Casual Encounters (Craig’s List) ............................................................................................ 123
Activism .................................................................................................................................. 123
Language ................................................................................................................................. 124
Multiple Locations .................................................................................................................. 125
Knowledge – Adult Learning and Child Learning ..................................................................... 126
Research Implications................................................................................................................. 128
Social Work and Health Care.................................................................................................. 129
Politicization of Difference ..................................................................................................... 130
Recommendations for Future Research ...................................................................................... 131
Looking Back.............................................................................................................................. 133
References................................................................................................................................... 136
APPENDIX A: Recruitment Material ........................................................................................ 145
APPENDIX B: Interview Questions/Guide................................................................................ 146
APPENDIX C: Letter of Consent ............................................................................................... 149
xi
List of Tables
Table 1 - Fluidsexuality Terms Chart with Definitions ………...…………………………….... 44
Table 2 - List of Study Participants and Demographic Information …………………………… 65
xii
List of Abbreviations
TSFI -
transcultural sexually fluid identities
SGS -
same gender sex
BL theory -
fusion of borderland and liminality theories
CPC behaviours -
covering, passing and code switching behaviours
DL culture -
down low culture generally
BDL -
black down low culture
WDL -
white and other down low culture
IRB -
institutional review board (ethics review)
TSS -
transnational sexuality studies
CFREB -
University of Calgary’s Conjoint Faculties Research Ethics Board
LGBTTTIQQ -
An acronym for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, twospirit, intersex, queer and questioning communities
xiii
CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION
Overview
In this qualitative autoethnographical research, I explored the lived experiences of
transcultural sexually fluid identities (TSFI) to gain a deeper understanding of participants’ lives
after migration to Canada. I coined the acronym TSFI for this research to describe transnational
people who are sexually fluid. According to Sabia (2015), an individual is sexually fluid when
his or her sexual orientation fluctuates and changes over time. In this study, I explored the lives
and experiences of a sample of TSFI people residing in different locations across Canada. TSFI
people within Canada live with varying degrees of public disclosure, where society has
historically stigmatized the activities of gay and queer SGS activity.
The term transculturalism speaks to the “elements from diverse cultures, civilizations,
ethnic groups or countries [that] have been integrated, to such an extent that authenticity of
origin may be lost” (Tsambu, 2015, p. 53). This understanding of transculturalism as a
consequence of transnationality (Tsambu, 2015) is helpful for understanding sexually fluid
identities across Canada’s multicultural landscape. Transnationalism speaks to the immigrant
experience in destination countries where assimilation into a new culture occurs simultaneously
while an individual remains connected to their birth culture. As a result of this, transcultural
experiences are present within our communities as a consequence of transnationalism (Tsambu,
2015).
In the process of immigration assimilation there often exists a tension between adapting
to a new culture and maintaining one’s original culture. This tension in many instances, is about
how much of your original identity is sustained, and the extent to which your “authenticity of
origin” (Tsambu, 2015, p. 53) is maintained by virtue of the immigration experience. The
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immigration experience within Canada’s multicultural landscape requires intercultural and
transcultural interactions. Intercultural contexts are representative as the interactions
experienced within specific cultures and transcultural are representative as the interactions that
are experienced across the different cultural contexts.
As a result of this distinct nature of transculturalism, and because this research explores
immigrant sexual fluidity, this research is focused through a transcultural lens versus a
transnational lens hence the TSFI acronym that has been designed for ongoing discussions
herein. In light of the multicultural make up of Canada, TSFI people experience themselves in a
transcultural context where cross-cultural understandings of SGS vary from one culture to the
next. Transnationalism is a relevant place of discussion with respect to TSFI, however,
transculturalism brings the discussion closer to the lived contexts of TSFI as they are
experienced within Canada. This research is premised on the stories of TSFI and the learning
and knowledge available to our communities by virtue of TSFI people’s lived experiences.
This research is also premised on the awareness that SGS is not only present within gay
and queer cultures, but also present throughout communities by way of the culture of sexual
fluidity. The learning and awareness derived from an examination of the experiences of TSFI
people in this culture of sexual fluidity provides knowledge for all communities. This
knowledge informs pedagogy for adult learning about individuals who are considered sexually
fluid and further highlights diversity within the society. This pedagogy provides an awareness of
the complex multi-layered identities that exist by virtue of this culture of sexual fluidity.
Pedagogy as used throughout this dissertation speaks to the actions and contexts (self-directed or
otherwise) that cause a learner to acquire new knowledge. Traditionally, pedagogy has been
about the practice approach of a teacher towards a group of learners. In this dissertation, a
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broader understanding is premised beyond the traditional understanding of pedagogy, to include
all contexts, situations and experiences where an individual learns and develops knowledge.
There is limited language referencing for discussions around sexual fluidity. As a result,
I further created additional terms throughout the research to evoke elements and concepts
relating to this nuanced life context. Throughout this dissertation, I reference the terms
fluidsexuality and binarysexuality. Fluidsexuality refers to the spectrum of fluid sexual identities
(inclusive of bisexual) that exist between the poles of the binary constructs of gay and straight
fixed sexual identities. Binarysexuality represents those individuals who identify with fixed
straight or gay sexual identities.
Intent of Study
The intent of this research is to highlight the differences of an aspect of Canadian life
where there is insufficient awareness within the academic, professional and popular cultures.
The differences highlighted herein are the multiple locations of sexuality differences within
fluidsexuality. This research does not aim to advance a militant or political agenda in regards to
politicizing these differences in sexuality. This research, instead, aims to provide an increased
awareness of the culture of TSFI differences and spotlights these contexts of diversity. A clearer
conception of these distinctions is useful to better understand society as a whole, and in turn,
nuance the experiences of the hidden other to help effect change via educational programs and
policy development. This potential change can teach a wholesome pedagogy for all
communities, and simultaneously provide the means for developing different types of services
for those that are coming into a better understanding of themselves (earlier or later in life).
Education “has historically been about preserving the status quo and tradition, which, in
regard to sex, sexuality, and gender, means assuming the exclusive morality of heterosexuality
3
and the limited ontology of two biological sexes as cultural imperatives” (Grace & Wells, 2009,
p. 20). What of the TSFI person with a complex multi-layered identity construct with societal
needs in a multicultural society? An appreciation for the full spectrum of human complexity in
terms of sexual identity and even gender identity might allow for more impactful adult learning
opportunities within formal and informal learning spaces. At present, further research addressing
the pedagogy of the lived experiences of TSFI has the potential to deepen the discourse within
diverse communities. Multiculturalism, sexual identity and social identity are a few of the
complex identity layers that are at an intersection where TSFI people endeavour to learn, adapt
and formulate their social identity within Canada. Handley, Clark, Fincham and Sturdy (2007)
pointed to social identity theory as a means to comprehend this complexity and the related
adaptation into different social contexts and suggested that:
Our sense of identity develops through the medium of the groups we belong to (or
disassociate with). An implicit assumption here is that these groups (which may, for
example, be ethnic, sociocultural or work-based) are relatively internally coherent
and therefore act as a stabilizing influence: we belong to a small number of such
groups and carry a small number of identities. (p. 178)
It has been noted in the literature that with identity construction there are multiple and
fluctuating constructions of the individual who is adapting to different settings (Handley et al.,
2007). For example, individuals in an organization are continuously adjusting their perceptions
of themselves as it relates to their co-existence with “others in the community of practice” (p.
179). Therefore, since TSFI people are continually reworking their identities in multiple
communities and networks of practice, then each individual will have “different norms of
4
belonging” (p. 179) and different layers of identity within the complex construct of TSFI
diversity.
Introducing the Participants
This autoethnographic study explores participants’ opportunities for building their own
knowledge that perhaps challenges historical perspectives and suspends normative classifications
(Grace & Hill, 2001). In my own interactions with other TSFI people, I have noted that most
chose the route of least resistance and often adjust their complex identity into one assumed best
suited for mainstream culture. While the aforementioned mainstream stance has its place, an
alternative approach will aid in rejuvenating the landscape of learning and knowledge from
current normative and hegemonic perspectives (Grace & Hill, 2001). This move towards a
broadened landscape will make room for an ongoing rhetoric where difference and diversity
slowly and eventually become the norm versus the aberration.
For this study, eight participants who self-identified as being sexually fluid shared their
TSFI immigrant experiences from their countries of origin, as well as their experiences adjusting
into Canada. During the interview process additional information was garnered, including
assimilation experiences in relocating to Canada, reasons for migration, and how the decision to
migrate ultimately influenced how each currently experiences his or her fluidsexuality in
Canada.
Researcher as Participant
As a researcher-participant in this research study, I share my lived experiences as a TSFI
individual, been born in Jamaica and subsequently relocating to two different destination
countries. In 1988, I moved to the United States to attend university. After four years of study, I
remained in the United States for 19 years, after which I relocated to Canada as a single parent in
5
2011. I include myself as researcher-participant in this autoethnographic study. My experiences
and those of the other participants illustrate the tensions of the emotional, physical, and spiritual
layers of human existence that are present with any attempt at being authentic and transparent.
Our personal stories offer insight about our being embedded and invested in this TSFI life
journey, which allows for deep autoethnographic analysis of the related issues. The lived
experiences of [TSFI] demonstrate currency, a sense of movement and an uprooting of human
lives that makes the life issues of [TSFI] quite visceral and gut-wrenching (J. Cooper, personal
communication, November 14, 2014). These lived experiences of TSFI are about a “shifting
community or community of thought” (J. Cooper, personal communication, November 14, 2014)
that is, for the most part, invisible, uprooted and significantly unsure, but simultaneously very
real and pertinent for Canadian communities.
As the researcher-participant, this study is also an expression of my personal struggles of
acceptance of the complex identity layers within the context of my own TSFI. In recent years, I
have come to terms with the sum total of the multiple layers that compose my identity and have
developed a better understanding and comfort level for my life’s progression as a sexually fluid
immigrant Black male from Jamaica. I consistently recall instances throughout my life when I
adjusted my identities to fit in with the norm and cultural expectations of my geosocial contexts.
Geosocial refers to the social and cultural context tied to a geographical location. I have always
found the need to modify the outward appearances of my sub-identities, to fit in and feel
accepted.
My formative years. As I reflect on my formative years in Jamaica, my immigration to
the United States, and my subsequent immigration into Canada, it is clear to me that these
experiences have significantly influenced and shaped my complex identity. Aspects of my
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identity have been perceived differently across my geosocial contexts. As such, I have learned to
selectively share different layers of my identity relative to context. I am fortunate to have
managed to gain resilience, exposure, experience, and knowledge from living in three different
countries. My personal development arising from these different contexts have developed and
sharpened my coping skills as I moved from one country to the next. The recognition of my
complex TSFI identity and experiences as a Black immigrant had, for a long time, left me with a
strong curiosity about my own sexual identity in relation to others I have encountered. I have
found myself repeatedly questioning the authenticity and realness of transnational sexuality
differences and the resultant, yet unnoticed, impact that these differences have on the
immigration journey and related experiences of TSFI. This curiosity about my own sexual
identity, whether it be from my formative years in Jamaica or present day as a Canadian citizen,
has prompted my pursuit of this research.
Identifying Participants
The eight participants in this research live in different locations across Canada and have
their origins in Barbados, St. Vincent, Jamaica, United Kingdom, Romania, and Ethiopia.
Research participants were identified through word of mouth and email communications. At the
onset, I reached out to a few LGBT centres to recruit participants for this study. Even before
doing so, however, I knew from my own lived experiences that TSFI are deeply private and quite
often live heteronormative lives. As such, I was concerned very early in the research that I
would have difficulty finding participants. I thought it would be difficult because I knew from
experience that there are individuals who engage in sexually fluid activities who consider
themselves to be heterosexual, but only engage occasionally based on context and circumstance.
For this reason, at the start of data collection I was not confident that I would be successful in
7
finding TSFI participants. Word of mouth was the primary method used to identify participants.
The research originally was designed for six participants, and serendipitously two additional
participants agreed to be interviewed.
Background and Context
The term “gay” has long been used but may be considered a limited North American
descriptor that does not speak to the array of differences occupying the SGS context (Grace &
Wells, 2009). The alternative term “queer,” has also been used in North America in different
theoretical and experiential contexts, to describe different types of non-heteronormative sexual
identities and at times has been used interchangeably with the term gay. The use of the term
queer does not do justice to the lived experiences of TSFI who fluctuate within the spectrum of
fluidsexuality.
The transgender and the gender non-conforming communities have further complicated
the inaccuracy of the use of this term. This inaccuracy is due to the various permutations,
combinations, and variations of sexual interactions that make it challenging to use the term
queer. For example, the different types of sexual engagement occurring between gender neutral
identities, transitioned males (transmales), transitioned females (transfemales), and individuals
with intersexed body functionality challenge heteronormative ideologies.
Is it reasonable to call a transitioned male engaging sexually with a transitioned female a
queer or gay person? Similarly, is it reasonable to call an intersex (born with both male and
female sex organs) individual a queer or gay person based on their sexual activity? These
questions are now part of the discourse that has emerged in regards to non-heteronormative
sexual identities. Is sexual identity what you do sexually or how you think sexually? The
assumption in this research is that sexual identity is a combination of what you do alongside how
8
you think. The aforementioned questions form the basis, and foundation of the underlying
assumptions that guide this research.
Queer versus TSFI
Unfortunately, academic literature and society’s frequent use of the term queer is an
inaccurate referencing to speak to all the many types of SGS expression. It is difficult to speak
about TSFI because there is limited language for referencing this nuanced life. As a result of
this, this research periodically makes reference to TSFI as queer, because this is the most
common referencing found in the literature that overarches all categories of SGS expression.
While the word queer is used throughout this research, it is not an ideal description for general
referencing of TSFI. In furtherance of this lack in rhetoric, it is important to emphasize that this
research does not lay claim to the term queer as the proposed normative language for TSFI. This
research draws on discussions with its participants to continue an ongoing dialogue for the
exploration and examination of suitable language to capture the essence of the TSFI individual.
TSFI Implications
The lives of TSFI people revolve around learning the necessary identity adjustments to
successfully assimilate into Canadian mainstream culture. In light of this, what are the
implications for TSFI people upon immigrating? Does it mean that TSFI people upon
immigrating to Canada are able to easily show the world who they are and be themselves without
fear of societal pressure or consequences? These are a few questions that emerged at the onset of
this research.
Immigration Experiences
Immigration experiences for some individuals have been rooted in the need to escape a
less desired environment, usually of an individuals’ respective birth country, to a more desired
9
environment in a destination country. Immigrant identities are faced with a new “environment
and a new society on the one hand, and of emotional loss on the other hand in leaving familiar
territory, friends and family of their birth countries” (Thompson & Bauer, 2003, p. 93). In
leaving behind our experiences and perceptions of individual identity, transnationals must often
assume identity adjustments in our respective destination countries. It is, however, unclear
whether the aforementioned desire for freedom, or escape, is truly attained by most
transnationals after assimilation into destination countries. Transnationals are constantly faced
with learning, knowing, and understanding themselves and their resultant growth potential in
destination countries (Handley et al., 2007). The learning experience of how to adjust one’s
identity, however, may be further complicated when an individual feels the need to disguise
his/her true self in order to assimilate into mainstream culture.
The aforementioned identity adjustments occur throughout the learning processes when
adjusting to a new culture. As such, with regard to TSFI adjustments, individuals who privately
hold a fluid type of sexual identity will likely face heightened emotional and psychological
challenges in their process of assimilation into Canadian life. By virtue of the immigration
experience, TSFI (all immigrants for that matter) are constantly faced with an internal struggle
due to the inherent duality of being connected to two places with competing values. As a result,
TSFI people can be seen as existing in a nexus around knowledge, culture, language, and power
amidst society’s lack of awareness with regard to the existence of an unlimited ontology of
multiple sexual identities (Grace, 2013) within our communities.
Problem Statement
Exploring and understanding the meaning of “difference” is fundamental to an
examination of TSFI. The TSFI experience is embedded in human differences and the
10
underlying tensions of self-acceptance arising from heteronormative expectations as well as the
hegemony of Canada’s mainstream perspectives. TSFI people reside, shift, and change within
fluidsexuality based on life circumstances, feelings of confidence, and individual acceptance.
The politics of ethnicity, race, gender, and sexual orientation difference are commonly portrayed
throughout all areas of life in Canada. However, what is lacking in the scholarly literature is the
recognition of fluid sexual identities as nuanced by culture in relation to the different
understandings and interpretations of human sexuality.
While various types of tensions and polarities of difference permeate society (such as
race, ethnicity and class), it is the journey of complete self-acceptance, in spite of these
differences, that makes it challenging for most individuals with differences to be at peace with
themselves. Successful self-acceptance is only attainable and sustainable when you know who
you are completely and can share this person unequivocally with the world (Iamele, 2014). This
is more easily said than done, however, because TSFI people seldom publicly discuss their true
sexuality due to a fear of isolation as a result of related politicized issues and challenges.
Statement of Purpose
Throughout my adult life, I have always held an acute sense that most (not all) of
humanity is inherently sexually fluid, due to my own personal experiences and social interactions
with men and women. Throughout my immigration journeys, there has been very little
information available to offer me confirmation of these perspectives that I secretly held. Over
the years I have searched different academic platforms, and have noted that the literature and
language referencing this TSFI context is sparse. My knowledge development and eventual
awareness was only overcome through illuminating conversations and interactions with persons I
met casually throughout my lifetime. This limited presence of academic work regarding non11
heteronormative sexual identities and, in particular, as they relate to TSFI persons (Francis,
2015), points to a gap in human understanding regarding the complexities and variances of the
human sexuality spectrum. This limited presence is evident in the field of adult learning because
historically, “liberal lifelong educators who link lifelong learning to issues of social learning and
social justice tend to be silent on” (Grace, 2013, p. 181) non-normative sexual identity
phenomena and issues. In this study, I break the silence that beclouds the TSFI phenomenon and
illuminate the problem around the hegemony of heteronormativity that exists in adult learning
discourses and practices (Grace, 2013). Breaking this silence will open a place for ongoing
dialogue and communication where these discussions have been notably absent or ignored in the
social spaces that need it most.
Significance of This Research
Research about TSFI is critical for Canadian communities’ increased understanding of its
citizenry. The anticipated insight from this research may contribute to a more inclusive
pedagogy around TSFI difference and illustrate how an understanding of this context can provide
knowledge. Knowledge can help adult educators “contour larger sociocultural sites” (Grace &
Hill, 2001, p. 4) for learning that will tap into the experience and survival mechanisms that
appear to be inherent to TSFI. The acquisition of knowledge around TSFI complexities,
challenges heterosexualizing discourses and heteronormative ways of being, and in so doing will
position adult learning with an alternative pedagogy (Grace & Hill, 2001) of the sexually fluid.
In harnessing knowledge from the lived experiences of TSFI, community leaders can
deploy political activities for social transformation, and in so doing, effect change in Canadian
communities (Grace & Hill, 2001). For this change to occur, it is imperative that adult educators
nurture learning spaces that “problematize social and cultural formations, including
12
heteronormative adult education, that have historically relegated” (Grace & Hill, 2001, p. 2)
anyone of non-normative sexuality to be victims of politicization. It is anticipated that
knowledge from this research will offer insight to a human difference that has not had much
attention in Canadian communities.
In recent years, studies have been undertaken about immigration adjustments in regards
to sexuality studies evolving around identity politics and social movements (Grewal & Kaplan
2001). Unfortunately, there have not been any studies done in relation to immigration
adjustments (emotional or otherwise) arising from TSFI contexts. It is important to note that this
research was not done to pursue a social movement agenda; rather, it focused on highlighting
TSFI diversity and difference. This study explored how TSFI people navigate their lived
experiences around mainstream culture, language, knowledge, and power.
Research Questions
The overall research focus for this study is: how do TSFI people navigate and internalize
politicization and stigma to build more effective life strategies?
Primary Research Question
The primary research question is whether the lived experiences of TSFI people can
inform Canadian citizens (domestic nationals and other immigrants alike), and in so doing
provide a heightened awareness of sexual identity differences and understandings?
Supporting Research Questions
To illuminate the related issues and problematize the topics in this study, supporting
questions included:
1. In immigrating to Canada, what are the assimilation experiences like for TSFI
people?
13
2. How are coping skills developed as a result of assimilating into Canadian culture?
3. Do TSFI people encounter emotional and psychological adjustments after
immigrating to Canada?
Methodology
Autoethnography, the chosen qualitative methodology to guide this study, utilizes
personal stories to explore and write on individual life experiences, culture, or life phenomenon
(Ellis & Bochner, 2000). Banks and Banks (2000) stated that autoethnographic research
provides readers an opportunity to create their own meaning rather than assume the positionality
of the writer. Mainstream culture has traditionally focused on the tripartite of the homosexual
(gay), the heterosexual (straight) and the bisexual. I felt that autoethnography was the most
suitable medium to examine the narratives of a life context that is real, mostly invisible, and
difficult to understand as well as seldom discussed within our communities and social circles.
As a methodology, autoethnography allows the author to draw on individual experiences
and stories to bring about an understanding and awareness of a societal phenomenon (Wall,
2008). This methodology is a form of ethnography where ethno speaks to “people or culture”
and graphy speaks to “writing or describing” (Ellis, 2004, p. 26). In light of this, ethnography
“then means writing about or describing people and culture, using first hand observation and
participation in a setting or situation. The term refers both to the process of doing a study and
the written product” (p. 26). The culture of sexual fluidity inherent to TSFI is examined in this
study through the process of writing and describing stories that speak to the culture of eight TSFI
persons selected as participants for this research. Alongside the stories of these participants are
my own personal accounts of similar TSFI experiences, all of which are shared for the purposes
of broadening the sociological understanding of the TSFI phenomenon.
14
In coming up with the best design for presenting all the stories, I examined a number of
autoethnographic works and Eckmann’s (2003) approach to autoethnography, You Are with
Someone Who Is a Fighter, resonated with me. Eckmann skillfully narrated the stories of breast
cancer survivors, as well as the sharing and exploration of her own story quite effectively.
Eckmann was able to capture the true essence of each individual where readers could connect
meaningfully with the stories of her research participants who were breast cancer survivors. The
storytelling emphasis in Eckmann’s autoethnography allowed me to feel like I were watching a
movie about the lived experiences of these participants. It was this vivid lens and the positioning
of the aforementioned research design that drew me to Eckmann’s approach. I hope the readers
of the forthcoming pages have a similar experience, regardless of where they are positioned
along the spectrum of human sexuality.
Methods
Semi-structured interviews and my own journaling were the chosen methods for this
study. My journaling process was ongoing and included my reflections in response to the stories
shared by participants.
Formulated semi-structured interview questions were used to guide the conversations
with the participants and to create a framework for the interviews. All interviews were recorded,
with latitude given during the interview process to allow participants to speak freely outside the
scope of the interview questions.
Researcher Assumptions
As previously discussed, academic literature has often used the term queer to represent
individuals engaging in any type of SGS activity. While this has been the prevailing trend, there
are, however, other areas of scholarship that avoid use of the term queer.
15
My primary assumption was that the use of the term queer was ineffective for discussing
and explaining TSFI. However, since there is a limitation around language referencing best
suited for TSFI contexts, there is a periodic need to reference the term queer when speaking
about the SGS phenomenon. This is due primarily to the referencing from articles and books
that are cited within the literature review section of this dissertation.
Additional assumptions included:

All human beings have the capacity to engage in SGS activity;

A person’s circumstances and psychological conditioning or re-conditioning are
contributing factors towards this capacity and/or willingness to participate in SGS
activities;

Fixed sexual identity does exist. True gay men and lesbians (one hundred
percent) and true straight men and women (one hundred percent) do exist. The
premise of this research is that gays and straights are the lesser percentage of the
whole, as compared to sexually fluid identities being the greater percentage of the
whole;

Same sex attractions are commonly experienced throughout humanity, but the
politicization around acting on these thoughts and feelings is a prohibiting
mechanism that prevents individuals from acting on SGS impulses. Additionally,
a significant point to note here is that same sex attraction does not always translate
to sexual activity, but can also occur in fantasy; and

The complexities of human interactions that include, but are not limited to
financial obligations, domestic responsibilities, and the risk of exposure to
16
diseases, to name a few, are strong factors that prohibit individuals from acting
out on SGS impulses when they emerge from time to time in individuals’ lives.
Summary
Chapter One was organized to provide the following: overview, intent of study,
understanding the participants, background and context, queer versus TSFI, migration
experiences, problem statement, statement of purpose, significance of research, research
questions, methodology, methods and researcher assumptions.
In Chapter Two, I provide a critical review and synthesis of scholarly literature that
guides this research study.
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CHAPTER TWO: LITERATURE REVIEW
Overview
In this chapter, I provide a critical review of various aspects of the TSFI context. Key
literature streams explored to inform this research include: (1) Immigration and Identity; (2)
Transnational Identity; (3) Traditional SGS Theoretical Frameworks; (4) Fusion of Liminality
and Borderland Theory. Additional streams explored are: (5) CPC Behaviours; (6) SGS Cross
Cultural Understandings; (7) Fluidsexuality and Fluidsexuality Labels; (8) Down Low Culture
(9) Sexual Fluidity Research; (10) Shifting and Moving Sexuality; and, (11) Transnational
Sexuality Studies and Adult Learning.
Immigration and Identity
The participants in this study are all immigrants hence a critical review of the literature in
this area is apropos. Immigration and the integration experience quite often have an emotional
cost that includes feelings of loss and loneliness. This is due to the separation from loved ones
and adjusting to the more private culture of a new North American destination country
(Thompson & Bauer, 2003). In my immigration journeys I also endured these feelings of loss,
where my state of mind progressively diminished upon relocation. As an immigrant, I have
found it necessary to adjust and reshape my identity not only in my immigration to the United
States, but also to Canada. The reshaping of immigrant identities occurs as a result of multiple
complex influences arising from the immigration experience (Thompson & Bauer, 2003). In my
case, it was important to learn and understand the social structures of both my destination
countries, particularly because of an awareness of my sexual identity difference; even though
clarity regarding this difference was not attained until recent years. Learning and understanding
the social structures of each destination country helped me to fit in and assimilate professionally,
18
academically and socially. Thompson and Bauer (2003) suggested that it is not only the social
structures of destination countries in and of itself, but also how people feel about the social
structures which shape immigrants’ evolving identities as they move to foreign countries. TSFI
are faced with multiple layers of identity adjustments, in that while learning the social structures
of their destination countries, they are often learning and understanding their identities as
sexually fluid individuals while existing within the diasporic extensions of their birth culture.
Diaspora
The term diaspora refers to the invisible and visible ethnic communities that reside
outside countries of origin (Beine, Docquier & Ozden, 2009). It is easy to understand visible
communities by virtue of the fact that ethnic groups often cluster together in the same
neighbourhoods after migration to destination countries. This is not always the case, as many
also locate their homes away from ethnic clustering while remaining engaged in their ethnic
cultures. This engagement away from ethnic clustering is being referenced here as invisible
ethnic groupings. These invisible bands of ethnic communities that exist inside and outside of
countries of origin are a powerful force that influence the welfare and lives of several parties
(Beine et al., 2009).
In ancient Greece the term diaspora meant “a scattering or sowing of seeds” (Beine et al.,
2009, p. 31). This imagery is a perfect analogy for the dispersion of any people or ethnic
population who voluntarily or involuntarily live away from their traditional homelands and are
immigrants “who gather in relatively significant numbers in a particular destination country or
region” (p. 31). The term diaspora as used here refers to a certain experience as commonly
shared within a given culture outside of one’s birth culture (Kim, 2007). In living in Canada’s
multicultural landscape, it is helpful to have an awareness of the various diasporic communities
19
and the transcultural interactions that occur within mainstream culture. It is across these multi
layered diasporic and transcultural premises that TSFI lives are examined in this research.
Transculture
TSFI people live within the margins of their birth culture and that of the mainstream.
Transculture is about the process of finding one’s place within the borders of existing cultures
(Knazan, 2007). Knazan stated that transculture refers to “the border-crossings where identity
and difference intersect” (p. 30). One of the foci behind transculture is the examination of this
intersection and how any related transformation can emerge when remnants of “a divisive
politics of identity” (p. 30) exist in a given community with multiple differences. The premise of
transculturalism offers a space for exploring the multiple differences among and across groups
(Knazan, 2007) within a landscape of diversity. In Canada’s multicultural context, cultural
interaction is not only intercultural but is also transcultural. Intercultural speaks to the social
interaction that occurs within a given cultural community between individuals of that same
culture, and transcultural is about the social interaction that occurs across different cultural
contexts. Multiculturalism and transculturalism look similar but are notably different.
The transcultural premise is likened to “a multidimensional space” which “does not lie
apart from, but lies within all existing cultures” allowing for seamless interaction in spite of
cultural differences (Dai, 2012, p. 168). Multiculturalism, on the other hand, “emphasizes the
separation and non-intervention of cultures to the exclusion of investigating the communicative
needs of culture” (Dai, 2012, p. 6), where this premise fails to offer an effective way for
interaction across cultures and diasporic communities. The aforementioned multidimensional
space is a place of interaction between differing cultures, where the transcultural experience is
not about one specific culture or cultural identity, but is instead the sum total of many different
20
cultures as experienced in one broad cultural space. Culture in and of itself is capable of
exceeding its own boundaries and so “transculture has to do with a potential inherent in all
cultures for moving beyond what is specific to any given culture” (Dai, 2012, p. 168). The
purpose of moving beyond any given culture allows individuals to rid themselves of symbolic
systems and “gain creativity at the cultural boundary crossing, rather than escaping from their
given culture” (p. 168). This creativity allows TSFI people to not only live within and outside
their cultural norms, but also allows them to ebb and flow in between different sexual
understandings that fall within and outside their cultural norms.
Transculture therefore is an ideal premise through which to explore the TSFI
phenomenon, because it lies inside and outside of all existing cultures as a continuum consisting
of a unity of all cultures. This continuum is synonymous with fluidsexuality, which as
mentioned in Chapter One, is a space that consists of complex multi-layered identity constructs.
As a result of these multi layered constructs, transculture falls outside the “hegemony of any
single dominant culture by recognizing the existence of a multiplicity of distinct cultures” (Dai,
2012, p. 169). Transcultural thinking is inclusive and embraces a spectrum of cultural identities
that are subject to change, in the same way that TSFI’s sexual identities are subject to change
over a person’s lifetime.
Transnational Identity
Transnationalism refers to the integration of immigrants in their destination countries
amidst their continuing simultaneous involvement with their home countries (Wilkinson, 2005).
Transnationalism is a “process whereby immigrants maintain and encourage linkages between
former and new countries” (Wilkinson, 2005, p. 1). This process is sustained by a combination
of varying and often contradictory identities, existing side by side while living as active members
21
within an interconnected international community. Transnationalism is not a new phenomenon
and its presence has been noted in the eighteenth, nineteenth and twentieth centuries when
immigrants maintained contact with their homeland through letters, gifts and travel (Wilkinson,
2005). The activities of life stemming from transnationalism have been defined as cultural
activities, which take place on a recurrent basis across national borders and can be political or
social in nature (Henry, 2002). Transnationalism is about immigrants and their domestic, social
and professional spaces that are dynamically formed as a result of immigrant existences (Clavin,
2005). This dynamic formation was also experienced by the research participants for this
dissertation as they negotiated and formed their identities while navigating immigration
transitions into Canada.
Transnational Identity Negotiation
Identity is an abstract concept that refers to an individual’s sense of uniqueness (Akbar &
Chambers, 2001). By its very own definition, “immigration involves leaving one domain in
which identity has been enacted and supported, and coming to a new domain in which identity
must be re-situated and often re-defined” (Deux, 2000, p. 429). Andreoli and Howarth (2013)
expressed that identities are dynamic and contextual, and as a result they change as individuals
move from one context to the next. When it comes to the identities of immigrants, the policies of
a given nation state or country have a significant effect in shaping their lived experiences.
Transnational Identity Constructs
The notion behind identity and how its formation is impacted by immigration is
commonplace to Canada and the United States, but has also been a phenomenon noted as well in
Britain and Australia. Deux (2000) suggested that in terms of identity, it is not simply the issue
of which identities people should claim, but how these identities are negotiated and managed in a
22
complex cultural environment. It is this negotiation of identities that contemplates the fact that
we are subjectively defined rather than objectively determined, and supports all arguments
suggesting that identity is a dynamic and fluid process rather than a static condition. This
dynamism and fluidity inherent to human identity is exemplified in an examination of different
types of identity constructs important to this study, namely, ethnic identity, integrated identity,
national identity and immigrant identity.
Ethnic identity. Ethnic identity is an identity construct that focuses on the sense of
belonging to a group or culture (Phinney, Horenczyk, Liebkind & Vedder, 2001). According to
Phinney et al. (2001), immigrants are situated in one of four quadrants of the broader identity
construct. These quadrants include the following: (a) possessing a strong ethnic identity and
identifying with a new society is considered having an integrated identity; (b) possessing a strong
ethnic identity and not identifying with the new culture is considered having a separated identity.
Additionally, these quadrants also include: (c) giving up one’s ethnic identity and identifying
with the new culture is considered having an assimilated identity; and, (d) identifying with
neither the ethnic identity nor the identity of the new country is considered having a
marginalized identity. Phinney et al. (2001) showed that an integrated identity offers a higher
level of overall individual well-being for immigrants.
National identity. National identity occupies a broader context and is more complex
(Phinney et al., 2001). It is more complex because it involves having feelings of belonging to,
and general attitudes towards, a certain culture or society at large. Research has shown that the
nature of a nation’s national immigration policy, and the society’s general attitudes toward the
policy, have a significant influence on the shaping of individual identities that are ultimately
demonstrated by newcomers (Phinney et al., 2001). Individual identities are inextricably linked
23
to, and shaped by, the identities of others. As a result, identities tend to shift and evolve in
different ways based on context, where individual identities are always changing (Grace &
Benson, 2000).
Immigrant identity. The reshaping of an immigrant’s identity occurs as a result of
many complex influences arising from the immigration experience. Immigration and the
integration experience have an emotional cost that includes feelings of loss and loneliness due to
separation from loved ones. Immigrants encounter similar identity experiences in that they are
faced with a new “environment and a new society on the one hand, and of emotional loss on the
other” (Thompson & Bauer, 2003, p. 93). These experiences are often complicated when taking
into account the nuanced lives of TSFI. This nuanced life of sexual fluidity has been known to
accurately describe many individuals’ true identities, where its presence causes tension and can
also be political and problematic. The existence of this tension makes it difficult to understand
this culture of sexual fluidity where it is not easily understood within the traditional SGS
theoretical frameworks of queer theory and intersectionality theory.
SGS Theoretical Frameworks
Queer theory and intersectionality theory have traditionally been the theoretical
frameworks through which SGS has been examined from a gay or queer premise. Queer theory
has traditionally been used to study persons who do not fall within the traditional
heteronormative boundaries of sexuality or gender (Surdovel, 2015). It is an interdisciplinary
perspective that disrupts socially constructed values around human sexuality (Choi, 2015).
Lauretis and Sedgwick have been credited with much of the early understandings and beginnings
of queer theory. The major precept of queer theory is that sexuality and gender are socially,
historically, and culturally constructed. This theory focuses on the political aspects of identity
24
and how individuals choose to express their understanding of themselves in a given public
context (Erber, 2015).
Intersectionality theory is an approach that has been credited to the work of K.W.
Crenshaw (1991) where in the use of this theory Crenshaw rejected the notion that class, race,
and ethnicity are separate essentialist categories. Crenshaw (1991) defined intersectionality as,
“the various ways in which race and gender interact to shape multiple dimensions of [a person’s]
experiences” (p. 1244). Intersectionality links the categories of prejudice and injustice
experienced by marginalized factions, by drawing attention to the interdependence of the
categories themselves. In that way intersectionality “aims to analyze how different forms of
disadvantage intersect” and how these intersections are experienced and interpreted (Bastia,
2014, p. 238). In interpreting these intersections, intersectionality theory looks at how the
experiences of the marginalized inform “the construction of social realities, experiences, and
responses” (Frierson, 2014, p. 50).
Theories Compared
Politicization, marginalization and stigmatization are examined differently across queer
theory and intersectionality theory, where neither theory is optimal for an exploration of TSFI
lived experiences. By way of an example of this difference with respect to politicization and
power struggles, I will share my own experience. I have experienced politicization and
stigmatization with my sexually fluid identity in my few open interactions with gay, queer and
straight counterparts. I would not equate my experiences of TSFI tension and stigmatization to
my experiences of oppression and marginalization as a Black immigrant male living in the
United States. The aforementioned TSFI tension and stigmatization have occurred for me due to
the fact that sexually fluid people do not usually identify as gay or queer, and are quite often
25
rejected by both gays and straights alike. The experience of this rejection is a complex tension of
politicization where gay, straight or queer counterparts often relegate sexual fluidity to a state of
being confused. As a result of this, neither queer theory nor intersectionality theory is ideal for
an examination of TSFI. In light of this, a fusion of borderland theory with liminality theory was
best suited for this examination herein of TSFI.
Fusion of Liminality Theory and Borderland Theory
A blending of borderland theory and liminality theory does well to challenge
heterosexualized discussions and heteronormative ways of knowing, and allows for a critical
examination of TSFI differences. The following is an explanation and comparison of liminality
theory and borderland theory.
Liminality Theory
The concept of liminality was initially used in the field of anthropology to study rites of
passage from one life stage to another within tribal societies (Racicot, 2012). Liminality was
popularized by Turner (1969), who defined liminality “as the state of being in between life
stages, [and] belonging nowhere” (Racicot, 2002, p. 6) while moving through transitions. Turner
has been mostly credited for the evolution around liminality thinking, and his work has given
liminality significant prominence within academia. Turner’s (1969) liminality theory is about a
phase where an individual is “neither here nor there; they are betwixt and between the positions
assigned and arrayed by law, custom, convention and ceremonial” (Wels, Waal, Spiegel &
Kamsteeg, 2011, p. 1).
Engleman (2011) suggested that liminality focuses on “the middle stage between cultural
transitions” (p. 3), such as immigration transitions. Turner’s study of liminality and the
transitional phasing of its construct has been applied extensively to immigration studies, border
26
identity studies and cultural studies (Engelman, 2011). Immigration is a significant thread
throughout this dissertation which is combined with the additional thread of sexual ambiguity.
As such, liminality is a pertinent lens for viewing the inhabitants of fluidsexuality as listed in
Table 1. Liminality is also pertinent for the immigration contexts of TSFI as it relates to their
lived experiences before and after relocation. According to Racicot (2002), “[i]mmigration is a
period of being between two places of being, one in the culture and country of origin and the
other in the culture and country of adoption” (p. 16). And so the experiences of immigration
calls upon individuals and groups to experience a sort of liminal phase whereby they
leave a home country, seemingly with their own cultural and ethnic identities, to settle in
a new country where they will adapt to and adopt new ways of life and world views” (p.
16).
The concept of liminality is about being in between two life stages where cultures, ethnicities
and identities experience ongoing change (Racicot, 2002). The immigration journey is
invariably one that causes an individual to endure life within two different stages with ongoing
changes.
An individual that is living in a state of liminality is existing in an ambiguous place of
being (Tran, 2011). This ambiguous place of existence challenges the dominant social order
where individuals do not fit into the network of commonly known social classifications that
normally locate us within our communities and different social contexts (Tran, 2011). This
premise of liminality is likened to an individual that lives permanently in between the social
structures of a birth culture and a new adopted culture vis-à-vis immigration. An individual
living in-between these types of social structures “cause threat to social order by constantly
27
crossing boundaries” (Daskalaki, Butler & Petrovic, 2015, p. 186) and contradicting any
historical understandings of existence within the world.
Liminal personalities constantly rewrite their identities across space and time. As they
rewrite their identities they are socially and spatially embedded between fixed points of
interaction. In the case of TSFI they are embedded between the fixed points of binarysexuality.
The place between these fixed points are a space of ambiguous identities with atypical ebbs,
flows and movements as each individual rewrites their life across time (Daskalaki et al., 2015).
Fluidsexuality is all about living in an in-between context. As such, it connects with liminality
as it “refers to an in-between positionality where the margins of difference are blurred and
manipulated in ways that scripted interactions are rendered seemingly unstable” (LeMaster,
2011, p. 107). Specifically, liminality refers to being within two socially recognized states in a
spectrum of in-between space where ‘‘sociocultural norms are often suspended” (LeMaster,
2011, p. 107) and ignored. And so binarysexuality is easily contrasted with a liminality lens to
the in between space of fluidsexuality. Social and cultural norms are often suspended within this
place of fluidsexuality as individuals navigate societal norms while re-writing their sexually fluid
identities across space and time.
Borderland Theory
Borderland theory is also an ideal lens for viewing the existence of fluid sexual identities
that are best understood as existing within a sexual borderland. According to Callis (2014), this
theoretical lens is defined as that space where identities are suspended and in so doing “fall
outside of cultural norms” (p. 68) where “borderland[ers] simultaneously develop their own
cultures while challenging hegemonic ideology” (p. 68). In using this lens, fluidsexuality is also
28
easily interpreted as a sexual borderland. This sexual borderland is viewed by Callis (2014) as
forming separately from the binary system:
For those people inhabiting this borderland, it is a place of sexual and gender fluidity, a
space where identities can change, multiply, and/or dissolve. For heterosexual and
homosexual-identified people living on either side of the border, the borderland serves
multiple purposes. It can become a boundary not to be crossed, or a pathway to a new
identity. (p. 3)
Callis referred to Gloria Anzaldúa’s book ‘Boarderlands/La Frontera’ published in 1987, in
which she discussed the geographical region (border territory) between the USA and Mexico as
an open wound where the lifeblood of two worlds merge to form a third country with a border
culture. Callis further referred to Anzaldúa’s description of individuals living in this border, as
having plural personalities with an insider/outsider perspective of a dual life between the cultures
of USA and Mexico.
Borderland theory, as used by Anzaldúa and subsequently contextualized by Callis,
provides a framework from which to understand TSFI people. In the case of the immigrants of
Anzaldúa’s referenced region between USA and Mexico, they had significant challenges,
struggles and tensions as they were caught within two communities. The inhabitants of this
geographical space between USA and Mexico were not culturalized as Mexicans, nor were they
able to be culturalized as Americans because they existed between two cultural labels in an
ambiguous geographical territory. In this same way TSFI also exist within two labels in a sexual
identity space between the borders of gay and straight life.
Persons living in this geographical border territory referenced by Anzaldúa faced political
power struggles in their attempt to hold on to pieces of both cultures while being told that one
29
culture was valued more than the other. So if sexuality is viewed similarly, then the individuals
within fluidsexuality are caught in a similar political struggle: they are caught between two
communities and the two poles that make up binarysexuality, hence the use of the two
geographical boundaries being discussed herein. A parallel can be drawn between fluidsexuality
and the USA/Mexico borderlanders: the parallel being that TSFI are individuals that are not able
to be culturalized as being gay or straight because of their fluid and transient sexual identities,
just as the borderlanders are not able to be culturalized as Mexicans or as Americans.
Fluidsexuality is fraught with power struggles where this longstanding tension between
the two extremes of binarysexuality means that people face challenges when trying to live
efficiently in-between two different contexts. In borderland theory, Callis (2014) showed that
individuals are seen as too Mexican by one side of the geographical border, and in danger of
becoming “agringados” or overly Americanized by the other side. Similarly, in fluidsexuality,
individuals are often seen as not gay enough or not straight enough by the cultures of
binarysexuality. Borderland identities, just like fluidsexuality identities, are not read into
common culture, are not recognized as valid, or are misread by people outside the border
territory or fluidsexuality spaces (Callis, 2014). These individuals often end up not accepted by
or remain completely invisible to society. Individuals within fluidsexuality are constantly
misread and “twice-rejected,” both from the straight population for being too queer and from the
queer population for being too straight (Callis, 2014). Viewing fluidsexuality as a borderland
allows outsiders to understand it as a place where numerous sexual identity variables coexist. In
the geographical borderland construct, an individual is able to approach, inhabit, or depart from
the geographical USA/Mexico borderlands at multiple points during their lifetime. In this way,
30
too, the same applies for TSFI who are able to experience this type of location and re-location of
multiple actions with respect to their sexual identity.
The borders of sexuality have been internalized where we moderate our actions and
desires to fit both how we think we should act, and how we think others think we should act
(Callis, 2014). We have all learned to “each fortify or cross the sexual binary within ourselves”
(Callis, 2014, p. 10) based on our respective social conditionings. There has been a “recent
visibility of [fluid] sexualities” (Callis, 2014, p. 11) who have modified “their understanding of
the sexually possible and a plethora of sexual identities have emerged” (p. 11) both publicly and
privately in our communities.
In any discussion surrounding identity, culture is a backdrop that emerges naturally. In
substantiation of this, Grace and Benson (2010) advanced Hall’s (1997) assertions that it is not
possible to escape matters of culture because it “provides a frame to understand what a person is
like” (p. 95), but at the same time “culture imposes particular maps on everything” (p. 95).
Individuals who are resident in the borderland culture of fluidsexuality, have always needed to
be adept at reading cultural maps because “culture mystifies different people in different ways to
different degrees” (Grace & Benson, 2010, p. 95). TSFI are able to adjust their identities and
quietly exist within and outside of heteronormative contexts by understanding social cues and
reading cultural maps across a diverse multicultural landscape.
The lack of language and knowledge around fluidsexuality has made it difficult to find a
suitable lens for use as a theoretical framework for this research. The aforementioned theoretical
lenses of borderland theory and liminality theory will be used henceforth in a fused manner.
This theoretical fusion of borderland theory and liminality theory (BL theory) is best suited for
the examination of TSFI living within fluidsexuality. BL theory is also a perfect premise on
31
which to explore the transcultural (cross-cultural) understandings of SGS across the diasporic
communities within Canada’s multicultural space. TSFI also demonstrate certain behaviours that
are typical within the culture of sexual fluidity. These behaviours are known as covering,
passing, and code switching (CPC), which are expounded upon within the context of TSFI’s
lived experiences in the following section.
Covering, Passing and Code Switching (CPC) Behaviours
TSFI people often adjust their already complex identities to adapt to the norms of
mainstream society. This adaptation involves behaviours that mask and hide our true identities.
I have always adjusted my outward behaviours and mannerisms to suit the context, but have
never had the proper language to describe these behaviours until the writing of this dissertation.
As an immigrant, these behaviours have allowed me to efficiently assimilate into mainstream
culture. Mainstream culture does not serve the reality of TSFI identities that are present, and
often invisible within our communities. Our communities often contain a mixture of nationals
and transnationals (immigrants) with different interpretations and contexts of SGS. These
different interpretations and contexts create a disjuncture not only for TSFI, but also for the
individuals who interact with TSFI.
Covering
Covering is a learned behaviour concerned with the attempts made by individuals with
stigmatized identities to keep the stigma from looming large, by altering their self-presentation to
blend into the mainstream (Yoshino & Smith, 2013). Yoshino (2007) contended that every
human “covers.” He searched for a word to describe the behaviour of toning down an identity
that has been traditionally disfavoured by society. He eventually found the word “covering”
being used by sociologist Erving Goffman. In 1963, Goffman coined the term “covering” to
32
describe how individuals with known stigmatized identities made “great effort to keep the stigma
from looming large” (Yoshino & Smith, 2013). Yoshino (2007) shared that in his life as a
professor, he covered his gay sexual orientation. He did this in spite of the fact that it was
common knowledge that he self-identified as being gay. He “covered” by not writing on gay
topics or engaging in public displays of SGS affection. Yoshino (2007) presented the distinction
that covering behaviours cannot be viewed and interpreted in the same way as the behaviours of
“passing.” In 2006, Yoshino further developed Goffman’s concept of “covering.” This
development introduced four points along which individuals can cover: Appearance, Affiliation,
Advocacy, and Association.
Appearance based covering. Appearance-based covering deals with the ways in which
individuals alter their self-presentation including grooming, attire, and mannerisms to blend into
the mainstream society (Yoshino & Smith, 2013). A Black woman, for instance, might choose
to chemically straighten her hair to de-emphasize her race and the attention that is drawn to her
because of her hair’s curly texture (Yoshino & Smith, 2013).
Affiliation based covering. Yoshino (2007) argued that covering is a form of
assimilation. Another example of this form of assimilation, in the manner of affiliation-based
covering, would be adjusting one’s birth name so as to cover affiliation to a given ethnic
background. This type of covering was illustrated when the actor Martin Sheen changed his
name from Ramon Estevez to cover his ethnicity (Yoshino, 2007). Similarly, Kirk Douglas
changed his name from Issur Danielovitch Demsky to cover his ethnic background.
Advocacy based covering. Advocacy-based covering is concerned with how much
individuals promote a representative group to which they belong (Yoshino & Smith, 2013). For
33
example, a veteran “might refrain from challenging a joke about the military, lest she be seen as
overly strident” (p. 6).
Association based covering. Association-based covering concerns “how individuals
avoid contact with other group members” (Yoshino & Smith, 2013, p. 6). For example, a Black
person may choose to stay away from other Blacks in a workplace setting for fear of being seen
as part of a clique (Yoshino & Smith, 2013).
It is commonly known that “human beings hold many identities” and as such, “the
mainstream is a shifting coalition” of normalcy (Yoshino, 2007, p. 463). Queer theorists have
taught us that “it is not normal to be completely normal” (emphasis added) because we all
struggle for self-expression. We all have covered aspects of our whole identity in some way at
some point in our lives (Yoshino, 2007). I next examine and explore the concept of passing, and
in so doing distinguish this behaviour from covering.
Passing
Covering is similar to passing, but the distinction lies with the intent. With covering, the
intent is to downplay and diminish a stigmatization. Although Yoshino’s colleagues knew he
was gay, he covered by downplaying his gayness. The intent behind passing, however, is to
deceive because the observer is not allowed to know or see the item of stigmatization in
question. If Yoshino was passing (instead of covering as in his case), he would have taken steps
to totally eradicate any evidence or activity that would have identified him as gay. One way of
doing this would have been to engage in an opposite gender relationship to appear straight.
Moriel (2005) defined passing “as the movement from one identity group to another, usually
from margin to mainstream” (p. 2). Passing is a learned behaviour where an individual masks a
particular identity to be relevant within a certain dominant setting (Yoshino & Smith, 2013).
34
Leary (1999) concurs, and goes further to state that passing denotes “a cultural performance
whereby one member of a defined social group masquerades as another” (p. 85) in order to enjoy
the privileges afforded to the dominant group.
Racial passing, traditionally, has been understood as the primary historical context for
passing behaviours. Racial passing is a phenomenon where a biracial person (e.g., Black/White)
who looks White, presents himself or herself publicly as White instead of claiming to descend
from a mixed race (Khanna & Johnson, 2010). In contrast, Leary (1999) suggested that “the
most common form of passing in contemporary culture is probably that which occurs among gay
men and lesbians” (p. 85). From my own lived experience, I know many gay men and women
who pass as straight. I once knew a married couple; a gay man and a lesbian woman who were
lawyers. They decided to get married to avoid the gay stigma that they felt would have
negatively affected their careers. They were married with children and had a beautiful home, but
they had a clear understanding with each other that when they were away from public scrutiny,
they engaged in SGS outside their marital context.
Individuals will choose to pass in order to have the sociopolitical advantage and privilege
that comes from being a participant in a recognized dominant group. In one context, the
dominant group could be White people. In another context, the dominant group could be
heterosexual people. Johnson (2002) posited that “the privileging of heteronormative
citizenship, and conceptions of citizen rights and entitlements, also often involve a politics of
passing” (p. 320). One can look at passing as a spectrum encompassing multiple coordinates
between the points of original identity and complete assimilation (Moriel, 2005). This spectrum
is a “useful concept for the study of humans as makers of meanings and social categories” (p.
10). There is a point along the aforementioned spectrum where “a person or a group can move
35
seamlessly between identity categories” (p. 18). This seamless movement between identity
categories is commonplace for TSFI persons. The literature on passing has moved from an
exclusive engagement with race to one which includes gender, class, nationality, sexuality and
almost anything that has historically been identifiable as a binary (Moriel, 2005). Passing is a
fluid behaviour that may be short term or lifelong. It can flow from margin to mainstream and
vice versa in one’s lifetime (Moriel, 2005).
Code Switching
In my life, I have used the term code switching to speak to an individual’s ability to
modify language usage and related mannerisms. When one code switches, he or she adjusts to fit
the expectations and acceptable standards of a given cultural group. I have since learned from
my review of the literature that code switching is also a known communication technique used
among bilingual identities. This understanding from the literature has, nonetheless, validated my
use over the years of the term code switching because I see bilingual identities as fluid identities
that ebb and flow between two languages, in the same way that TSFI ebb and flow between two
sexualities (straight and gay).
There are multiple language communication techniques that are used in TSFI culture.
These techniques are used due to the politicized nature surrounding public recognition, where
fear of exposure forces TSFI people to communicate in a way that is only understood by
participants of the given community. Auer (2005) talked about bilinguals who alternate between
language identities as they engage in discourse with individuals of a monolingual mindset, and
others of a bilingual mindset. This phenomenon of code switching and language adjustment is
prevalent amongst TSFI. In other words, language that has specific meaning in one context can
mean something completely different when used by someone communicating the same language
36
in another context. For example, the question of do you “host or travel” in an SGS context can
speak to the meeting place of two individuals planning to engage in SGS. The same words in a
heteronormative context have different meanings: that one individual is hosting say a super bowl
party or another is travelling to the super bowl party being hosted by another.
Authenticity
The overarching element that emerges from CPC behaviours is that of authenticity.
Many of us are unable to bring our authentic selves to different relationships due to stigma and
politicization (Yoshino, 2013). This inability to be authentic is not just a TSFI issue, because as
Yoshino (2007) hypothesized, we have all covered ourselves in some way at some point in our
lives. This inability for authentic living often affects individuals who are stigmatized due to
imperialistic conditions arising from heteronormative and racial supremacy contexts. An
example that typifies this is the differential treatment of Black men by the media as compared to
White men with regards to the down low (DL) culture. This type of stigmatization will be
discussed in a later section of this chapter.
There has been a trend historically across transnational culture where a dominant group
upholds the power and privilege and in so doing sets the standard for what is viewed as normal
or acceptable. Adhering to these standards creates emotional pressures for individuals who find
it necessary to engage with CPC behaviours. These pressures can impact and augment mental
health issues. So, how can we shift the CPC burden instead from the individual to the
community? How can we change our communities to minimize the need for CPC behaviours?
Conversely, there also could be an inherent benefit from CPC behaviours. The benefit being that
individuals are able to develop coping mechanisms that allow them to easily adjust and mold
their identity according to context. Some could find this to be an attractive attribute in an
37
individual, where these individuals are recognized as being versatile and adaptable. However, is
the cost of individual mental health pressures worth paying for this recognition?
There is room for research investigation into the benefits, advantages and disadvantages
of CPC behaviours. For sure, this potential research investigation could perhaps determine
strategies to facilitate a change in society with respect to CPC behaviours. This anticipated
change could be in the form of education or policy development. Adult education (adult
learning) has much to gain from a deeper understanding of CPC behaviours. Further research in
this area can lead to a systemic higher-level change where difference can be projected and
authentically celebrated within our communities and communities of practice. Additionally, the
differences and understandings around same gender sex (SGS) are different across cultures. A
systemic, higher level change can happen with a deeper examination and understanding around
SGS across different cultures and diasporic communities that are commonly known within
Canada. SGS cross-cultural understandings will next be explored in order to gain a deeper
understanding of TSFI within the larger context of cultural worldviews and lived experiences.
SGS Cross-Cultural Understandings
Canada’s multicultural landscape is littered with representations of different transnational
communities, and as such, there are various cultural understandings with respect to SGS.
According to Hemmings (2007), the “literature routinely regards opposite gender sexual contact
as heterosexuality and same gender contact as homosexuality, as if the same phenomena were
being observed in the same way in all societies in which these acts occurred” (p. 6). Cultural
contexts and geographical territories vary with the understandings and use of language that
speaks to the different types of SGS activity. It is important to note that talk across different
38
cultural contexts about any type of SGS activity, with respect to terms like lesbian or gay, can be
misunderstood or deemed offensive depending on the geographical and cultural contexts.
Academic scholarship and organizations in North America often rely on traditional
sexual identity terms, concepts, and identities with little or no interrogation or appreciation for
different cultural perspectives outside of North America. It is this lack of appreciation that limits
the debates around sexuality where it
is not only restricted to the politics of identity naming, but also to the epistemologies and
tropes that attend to the privileging of western sexual identity, such as voice, visibility,
coming out, closet and of course the politics behind homophobia. (Hemmings, 2007, p. 6)
TSS emphasizes the dangers of assuming that contemporary western sexual identity categories
are universally applicable (Hemmings, 2007). TSS raises questions about the over-arching
assumptions that are embedded with a proper understanding of SGS activity. It is the attainment
of this proper understanding of cross-cultural truths that negates the accuracy and reality of SGS
activity as it has been historically understood (or misunderstood) within the Western context.
Hemmings (2007) also suggested that the terms gay and queer as a same sex identity
marker should not be universally imposed as a widespread understanding of these terms. The
notion of wanting all types of SGS activities to be categorized under the term queer (or even the
term gay) seems to be typical of the systemic oppression that is commonplace in a society with a
dominant (mainstream) culture. This notion is simply a new kind of androcentric imperialism,
which is just “another instance of [W]hite male desire to be everywhere, talk about everything”
(Hemmings, 2007, p. 9) and be everything.
39
Ugandan Culture
Amidst the aforementioned discourse on sexuality variances lies the issues of sexual
oppression that have received global attention in Uganda during 2013, where political factions
have expressed strong and violent opposition against all SGS. By way of a contrast to this
violent opposition in Uganda, there exists a rich body of scholarship on African sexualities and
identity politics, which negates the views being advanced by Ugandan activists who are in
violent opposition to any type of SGS activity. This body of scholarship stands as a challenge
and contradiction “to antigay claims made in the name of what is being advanced in the political
tensions there as behaviour that is apposite to pure and timeless African culture” (Oliver, 2012,
p.17). To put it simply, in spite of this violent opposition in Uganda to SGS activity, there are
studies that have shown how African cultures are no more homogeneous in sexual practices than
those found elsewhere in the world. As a matter of fact, same-sex relationships have been
documented among different peoples in Uganda among the Banyoro, the Iteso and the Baganda
peoples where social approval of same-sex intimacies have varied enormously across time and
space (Oliver, 2012).
Oliver (2012) further explained that it is impossible to assign any single meaning to SGS
intimacies because “they have assumed numerous social meanings in the African context ranging
from sin to the most noble form of love, as well as a means to establish hierarchy or exercise
political resistance through history” (p. 17). Tamale (2009), in a public address at Makerere
University, provided several examples of sexual and familial diversity within African cultures.
She argued that it is almost impossible to mark a particular institution as the one and only
traditional African family. The antigay assertions, politics surrounding African sexuality
identity, and opposition to same sex attraction in Uganda have emerged from a basis of
inaccuracy that conflicts with history and prior studies of African culture (Oliver, 2012). The
40
discussion and argument that SGS offends African culture and tradition, or that Ugandans must
endlessly oppose SGS for the sake of the nation, relies on an imagined construction of culture
that has never existed in reality (Oliver, 2012). The history of how this construction came to be
commonly known as such falls outside the scope of this research, but it has been a noted stance
that has been commonly known about most African countries. Its accuracy and the reality of
same merits a deeper investigation.
Bangladeshi Culture
Siddiqi (2011) posited that the “meanings and use of categories such as gay” (p. 3) have
different meanings in Bangladesh, especially when compared to western cultures. For example,
“effeminate males, who feel like women inside and are sexually attracted to men,” (p. 3) are
identified differently across the different contexts of men that engage in SGS. In Bangladeshi
culture, men have more latitude and freedom to act on their sexual preferences. In this cultural
context, there are few to no concerns “as long as social and familial obligations are met through
marriage, and all acts are hidden from public view” (Siddiqi, 2011, p. 4). As such, the
appearance of persons who are straight and others who are not is not completely self-evident.
This appearance is synonymous with TSFI in North American contexts who quite often live
heteronormative appearing lives where no one would easily know of their SGS engagements. In
Bangladesh, sexual practices and acts do not necessarily come with a social identity and the
relationship between sexual practices and social identity cannot necessarily be assumed (Siddiqi,
2011). An individual’s sexual and social desires can diverge greatly because sexual identities are
not only fluid and overlapping but also contextual and contingent (Siddiqi, 2011).
According to Siddiqi (2011), in Bangladesh and the rest of South Asia, “the most obvious
distinction between those who call themselves gay” (p. 5) and others who define themselves
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otherwise in their engagement of SGS is more a class and economic distinction; meaning, it is
less about identity difference of the social construct, and more so an issue of pecuniary
positioning. It is interesting to further note that within the broader South Asian territory, the
term gay refers to someone who plays both roles of being in the passive (the penetrated) as well
as the active (the penetrator) sex roles, and this is a different interpretation of the word as it is
known in other geographical contexts (Siddiqi, 2011). In Bangladesh, one cannot assume “an
equation between sexual conduct and sexual identity” (Siddiqi, 2011, p. 9) means the same thing
in North American contexts, because “along with [sexual] fluidity, many men exhibit
indeterminacy in relation to [their] sexual identities” (p. 9). With this in mind, how challenging
it must be for a Bangladeshi immigrant to understand the Canadian landscape and assimilate
effectively when the understanding in Canada is completely different?
Siddiqi (2011) explained that Bangladeshi “sexualities and sexual identities are fluid,
multiple and overlapping” (p. 10) and this phenomenon is more or less commonplace within that
culture. So if “sexual identities are not only fluid but also unstable, how do we contextualize
rights or proceed with sexual rights activism?” (p. 10). Siddiqi (2011) felt that the only way to
make societal adjustments to sexual fluidity and to advance sexual rights activism is by
“delinking rights from individual identities, and turning our gaze to broader structures of power
and inequality” (p. 10). This delinking and the lack thereof, is the dilemma surrounding issues of
sexuality differences in the North American context. The delinking around individual identities
is significant and a full understanding of its effectiveness in Bangladesh is useful knowledge for
the Canadian government’s mandates of ensuring cohesion across its multicultural landscape.
This research explored the different SGS understandings within Canada, and as such, an
42
understanding of fluidsexuality and its labels is next explored to provide a deeper
comprehension.
Fluidsexuality and Fluidsexuality Labels
All individuals experience and express themselves differently as sexual beings (Kalra &
Bulgra, 2010). These understandings and expressions of sexual beings are attributed to “how we
feel about ourselves, our gender, our body, sexual activity and behaviour” (Kalra & Bulgra,
2010, p. 118). Sexual experiences are premised on a physiological or psychological need in
addition to context and specific circumstances (Kalra & Bulgra, 2010). From my own lived
experiences, I know many heteronormative-appearing men and women who have sexual
impulses towards SGS sexual expressions. Vrangalova and Savin-Williams (2010) stated that
traditionally, “individuals who express even a small degree of same-sex sexuality in their
identities, behaviours or attractions are combined” (pp. 92-93) within the heterosexual identity
referencing. These identities are usually invisible within our communities where a lack of
language defining their contexts often forces them to be grouped and only recognized as straight
within communities.
Recent research studies have reported a far greater proportion of heterosexually-identified
individuals who express slight same-sex interests (Vrangalova & Savin-Williams, 2010).
According to Vrangalova and Savin-Williams’ (2010) research study, “[t]hese slightly same-sex
oriented individuals were more numerous than those who expressed a strong (50% or higher)
same-sex orientation” (p. 93) where these research findings were representative of the United
States, Great Britain and Australia. This “reaffirms that the sexually diverse world of today is
one of far greater complexity than the past era of clearly defined dichotomies” (Vrangalova &
Savin-Williams, 2010, p. 100).
43
The different types of fluid sexual identities are numerous and growing. Notably, some
of this growth factor is due to the transgender and gender non-conforming movements.
Bisexuality is the foundational context from which fluidsexuality is premised; however,
bisexuality is just one of the many nuanced identity types that are resident within fluidsexuality.
Table 1 provides a sampling of fluidsexuality labels. Many of the definitions in this table are not
academically (peer) reviewed due to the newness and increasing emergence of sexual selfidentifications. As a result of this recent emergence, there were no cited references for most of
the definitions found in Table 1 as they were derived from social media interactions and internet
searches.
Table 1
Fluidsexuality Terms Chart with Definitions
Definition
Term
Sexual Orientation
Sexual orientation is distinctive from sexual behaviour and is
defined as “an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic and/or
sexual attractions to men, women or both sexes” (APA, 2008, p.1).
It also refers to an individual’s sense of identity based on
attractions, related behaviours and membership in a community of
others with similar attractions (APA, 2008). Research has
demonstrated “that sexual orientation ranges along a continuum,
from exclusive attraction to the other sex to exclusive attraction to
the same sex” (p. 1).
Bisexual
Romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behavior toward
both males and females; may also encompass romantic or sexual
attraction to people of any gender identity
Ambisexual
Cognate of bisexuality; equal desire for men and women; as
contrasted to bisexual where an individual has a degree of
preference for one gender over another
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Definition
Term
Sapiosexual
Attracted to or aroused by intelligence and its use; finding
intelligence the most sexually attractive feature
Heteroflexible
Characterized by minimal SGS activity in an otherwise
primarily straight sexual orientation; distinguished
from bisexuality; a “mostly straight” context with occasional SGS
expression
Homoflexible
Attraction primarily to members of the same sex but occasional
attraction to members of the opposite sex; most often identifies as
gay or lesbian
Pansexual
Attraction toward any sex or gender identity (cisgender or noncisgender); gender blind, asserting that gender is irrelevant; rejects
the gender binary; open to people who do not identify as strictly
male or female
Skoliosexual
When an individual is NOT attracted to a cisgender male or female,
but instead to all other gender expressions, namely transgender
male, transgender female or neutral (for example, anyone not
identifying as cisgender)
Polysexual
Attraction to multiple genders and/or sexes; encompassing or
characterized by many different kinds of sexuality; a sexual
identity used by people who recognize that the term bisexual reifies
the gender dichotomy that underlies the distinction
between heterosexuality and homosexuality, implying that
bisexuality is nothing more than a hybrid combination of these
gender and sexual dichotomies
Pomosexual
“pomo” stands for post-modern; a label used to describe those who
do not self-identify as gay, straight, or bisexual because they feel
such labels are unnecessary and outdated (and as a result engage in
SGS based on context and circumstances)
Androgynosexual
Describes a person who has sexual attraction towards both men and
women, particularly those with an androgynous appearance
Androsexual
Usually used by transgender or gender nonconforming
(genderqueer) individuals, as heterosexual or homosexual don’t
necessarily apply to them since their genders may not necessarily
have opposites; refers to anyone who has a sexual preference
45
Definition
Term
toward anyone who may class themselves as non-gendered,
genderneutral, agendered, between genders, intergendered,
bigendered, pangender or genderfluid
From my own experiences, I know that much of the discussion around emergent sexual identities
are occurring by way of anonymous social media discourses. Peer reviewed literature and
academic discussions are sparse with regards to the aforementioned definitions in Table 1. More
research is required to explore the current explosion of different sexual identities that are now
representative within fluidsexuality. The literature has shown that there is a significant presence
of sexual fluidity with women, where the same has not been accurately represented for men. The
aforementioned referencing of fluidsexuality and fluidsexuality labels have been seen equally
represented across the literature in men and women as will be noted in the subsequent section on
Sexual Fluidity Research in addition to being noted similarly from the findings of this research.
Further confirmation, however, that there is a strong presence of sexual fluidity with men, is
noted by way of the down low (DL) culture, where I make a distinction in my next discussion
between Black down low culture (BDL) as against White and other down low culture (WDL).
Down Low (DL) Culture
The phenomenon of the down low (DL) culture was not included as part of the
definitions in Table 1, but this culture (and sexual identity referencing) is itself significantly
nuanced and also representative of fluidsexuality. The exact origin of the phrase “down low” is
unknown, but it was originally used to refer to any type of behaviour that was meant to be kept
secret (Han, 2015). The term “down low culture” was initially used for “men who have sex with
46
men” within the Black community. This particular activity in the way it has traditionally been
used is nuanced, where originally it spoke of Black men who have girlfriends, wives, and/or
families, and appear publicly as heteronormative males, but have secret relationships and
encounters with other men.
Black Down Low Culture (BDL)
The BDL culture is a very secretive and coded sexual culture full of CPC behaviours.
BDL men do not fit in with the common understanding of gay/queer culture, yet they do engage
in SGS activities with varying frequency. The DL culture received U.S. media attention in
recent years, exposing to the world about straight-appearing Black men who regularly or
periodically engage in SGS. What the media did not express was that this behaviour has existed
across cultures for a long time and was written about before the recent 2004 U.S. media exposure
that spotlighted Black men (Han, 2015). The BDL phenomenon was chronicled by DenizetLewis back in 2003 where he was one of the earliest writers on this topic (Han, 2015). Oprah
Winfrey’s syndicated talk show (the Oprah show) brought global attention to this BDL culture in
2004.
On 16 April 2004, Oprah Winfrey (the Oprah show) hosted author J. L. King. This
episode was called, ‘A secret sex world: Living on the down low’ (Han, 2015). Winfrey
introduced King as a ground breaker for stepping forward to bravely disclose this topic to the
American public (Han, 2015). This particular Oprah show was an attempt to spotlight the
narrative that BDL men in intimate relationships with women were endangering the lives of their
women by putting them at risk of HIV infection (Han, 2015). The focus of BDL was used by
media to explain the increasing rates of HIV among Black women (Han, 2015). Han (2015) felt
that “the down low discourse also feeds a neo-racist agenda by keeping Black women and men at
47
odds with each other, making spectacles of Blacks, and reinforcing the stereotype of Black
hypersexuality” (p. 232). The BDL discourse, and the way it was staged by the media in 2004,
increased homophobia within the Black community (Phillips, 2005). In a study undertaken by
Bond, Wheeler, Millett, LaPollo, Carson and Liau (2009), the researchers found that BDL men
were no more likely to engage in unsafe sex than non-BDL men.
Media mischaracterization. BDL media mischaracterization was evident, as contrasted
to news coverage about the clandestine SGS behaviours of White heteronormative appearing
men who were doing the same thing: they too were also (and have been known for a long time)
engaging in sexual activity with both men and women (Han, 2015). By way of an example,
Larry Craig is a White, married, anti-gay United States Senator from Idaho who was caught by
Minneapolis airport police attempting to solicit sexual favours from a Black man in an airport
bathroom.
Media coverage of Craig’s arrest was void of the stigma and demonization that was
shown for Black men who behaved similarly, as was evidenced with the hyper sensationalized
media exposure of the BDL by the aforementioned 2004 Oprah Winfrey show and other media
representations (Han, 2015). Analogously, New Jersey’s Governor Jim McGreevy was also
exposed in the news for SGS activity. He was, however, portrayed in the media as being
confused about his feelings with his attraction to men, where the media instead emphasized his
love for his wife as something sustainable in spite of his SGS confusion (Han, 2015).
Media analysis. Han (2015) examined over 170 articles written between 2001 and 2006.
He highlighted that White men engaging in SGS activities, who were also involved intimately
with women in committed relationships, were pitied. Having struggled with their feelings, these
men have been portrayed as having tried their best to keep their sexuality suppressed in order to
48
meet society’s expectations. They were instead shown compassion, which is in stark contrast to
how Black males were viewed for the same behaviour. Black males were instead described with
pejorative language and portrayed as a threat to Black women.
White and Other Down Low Culture (WDL)
Black men appeared to have taken an especially harsh hit from the mainstream press with
the BDL phenomenon (Phillips, 2005). Han (2015) postulated that
[t]he construction of the [B]lack man as being on the down low is much more than just
about finding a scapegoat for rising rates of HIV among [B]lack women. Rather, it is
deeply embedded in the American tradition of creating [B]lack sexuality as one that is
fundamentally different from the supposedly ‘normal’ white sexuality. (p. 233)
On the other hand, white male heterosexuality draws on the resources of White privilege to
circumvent homophobic stigma and to assign heterosexual meaning to SGS activities that occur
between straight men (Ward, 2015). Men of colour, however, fall subject to misrecognized and
hyper-surveilled categories as viewed with the BDL hysteria (Ward, 2015). In the same vein,
SGS acts are not limited to gay and bisexual- identified men, nor only to desperate situations in
which straight men are denied access to female sex partners (Ward, 2015). In fact, SGS
activities thrive in White hyper-heterosexual environments, such as fraternities, where access to
sex with women is anything but constrained (Ward, 2015).
The research explored in this section intimates that labels can bring recognition to
individuals trying to express themselves as sexual beings whose identities fall outside the
parameters of mainstream. For some, the labels are healing, and for others quite problematic in
that the labels can at times bring more pain, confusion and isolation. Other factors, such as race,
add further layers to the problem in determining ways to identify as a sexually fluid person.
49
What labels are most prominent today? Who are developing these labels? What do these labels
mean within and outside the culture of sexual fluidity? The synopsis of recent sexual fluidity
research that follows, will clarify current trends and add further awareness with respect to this
culture of sexual fluidity.
Sexual Fluidity Research
In a 2014 Kentucky study, Callis interviewed 70 participants where one female
participant said that if “I’m going to be with someone, I don’t want to let things like genitalia,
skin color, or social status get in the way” (p. 11). Throughout Callis’ (2014) study, other
individuals created their own identities to encompass their fluid sexualities where another
participant “identified as mostly heterosexual” (Callis, 2014, p. 12). This participant clarified
that she had been “in a long term monogamous relationship with one man” (p. 12) but had “more
relationships with men than women” (p. 12) because she was “pickier when it comes to women”
(p. 12). Yet another participant of Callis’ (2014) study identified at times as gay, but used the
label “bi-curious” to describe his identity. He further explained that while he had only been with
men, he held a desire to have sex with a woman and this he thought made him different.
Savin-Williams’ (2009) research taught that a growing number of young people
(Millennials) claim same-sex attractions but do not label themselves in any way. These
individuals choose not to make sexual distinctions of themselves (Savin-Williams, 2009). There
appears to be a “narrative of emancipation” where “sexuality is no longer the primary index of
identity” which is reflective of an increased acceptance of self with respect to sexual fluidity
(Coleman-Fountain, 2014, p. 804). In this new emancipation context, labels are resisted,
adjusted or created in order to reflect a new sexual fluidity that is gaining attention across
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cultural contexts (Coleman-Fountain, 2014). This emancipation around sexual identity questions
binarysexuality and evidences a broad realm of fluidsexuality.
Yon-Leau and Munoz-Laboy (2010) conducted research in predominantly Latino
neighborhoods in the city of New York. This research was an exploration of “forms of cultural
and political agency of Latino youth who experience sexual attraction to both men and women”
(Yon-Leau & Munoz-Laboy, 2010, p. 105). Using pseudonyms, their findings shared the story
of a Cuban girl named Patricia who self-defined as bisexual. She relayed that “being bisexual
did not imply for her having at the same time two sexual partners, a boy and a girl” and that she
was in fact herself “critical about this practice and way of understanding bisexuality by most of
her friends” (p. 108). Another participant in the Yon-Leau and Munoz-Laboy (2010) research
was Diego, a second-generation Dominican male who self-identified as bisexual and expressed
his interest of establishing a non-monogamous relationship with a woman and a man in a
polyamorous relationship. The fluidity of sexual orientation is evident with Diego because he
stated that, “I am undefined. One minute I like girls, one minute I like guys. It’s so sporadic” (p.
111).
Yon-Leau and Munoz-Laboy (2010) explained the distinction of polyamory as being
“different from hooking up or dating because polyamory implies emotional ties and a partner
relationship” (p. 108) with two or more people. Klesse (2014) provided the following
clarification with respect to polyamory.
Polyamory means different things to different people. While some consider polyamory to
be nothing more than a convenient label for their current relationship constellations or a
handy tool for communicating their willingness to enter more than one relationship at a
time, others claim it as one of their core identities. Essentialist identity narratives have
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sustained recent arguments that polyamory is best understood as a sexual orientation and
is as such comparable with homosexuality, heterosexuality or bisexuality. Such a move
would render polyamory intelligible within dominant political and legal frameworks of
sexual diversity. (p. 1)
I have excluded polyamory (and other fluid sexual identities) from Table 1, because available
definitions and representations are conflicting.
Diego from Yon-Leau and Munoz-Laboy’s (2010) study shared his feelings for
polyamory as follows:
I usually date one after the other; I’m not a huge believer in dating two people at a time.
Although, I think it’s interesting, and I am willing to give it a try if I can find two other
partners, preferably male and female, who are willing to try the polyamory thing. I did
look up on it. If they’re willing to try, I am for it, because it takes communication and
maturity in order to do it—I’m so up for it but I’ve never tried it. (p. 108)
Yet another participant from Yon-Leau and Munoz-Laboy’s (2010) study was Tom a BDL male
who highlighted that [his SGS] relationships “do not involve commonly stable or affective ties
because the major focus is on sexual pleasure regardless of the gender of the sexual partners” (p.
108).
Millennials as a generation have created labels for themselves in their desire to engage in
less harmful and defamatory sexual identity classifications. Yon-Leau and Munoz-Laboy’s
(2010) study illustrated that millennials in contrast to earlier generations, are more in acceptance
of sexuality differences as a flexible construct consisting of a shifting, changing, fluid and
moving experience. An understanding of this flexible, shifting and moving construct is the topic
for the subsequent section.
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Shifting and Moving Sexuality
Sexual identity changes over time. Acceptance of a wider understanding of gender and
sexual fluidity in relationships allows for more authentic human connections (Better, 2014).
Tina was a participant in Better’s (2014) study and shared that:
I identify as mostly straight and I feel like there’s—we just don’t have a good vocabulary
for sexuality, because we do try to compartmentalize everything so rigidly…. Some
people, like me, it just depends on the person. And so I think attraction largely depends
on just where we fall in those two categories [of gay and straight] and they’re not
separate categories, right, they’re part of a spectrum. So one is at one end and one is at
the other, so you can fall anywhere in between and I think that we’ll most often just find
someone who kind of fits their piece of the puzzle to ours, regardless of how we label it.
(p. 23)
In Tina’s case, “attraction to a potential mate depends more on personality than gender” (p. 23).
Tina further reasoned that “we do not really have the language to discuss sexual fluidity or
flexibility within the binary categories [binary-sexuality] that organize our world” (p. 23).
Mindy was another participant in Better’s (2014) study and she “brings this point one step closer
when she explains that in her view, the binary categories [binarysexuality] do not fit the world
she sees and finds that all sexual identity falls somewhere in the middle” (p. 23). Mindy’s
conviction is that “I don't really tend to believe in fully homosexual or fully heterosexual; I feel
like everyone is at least somewhere in between and it is just what they are more comfortable
with” (p. 23) in terms of their individual desires for sexual expression.
According to Better (2014), if “sexuality is located in the self and not in relationships, the
gender of one’s partner matters less than the internalized feelings and desires one has about
other’s bodies and selves” (p. 36). This seems to be the new direction of sexual identity, agency,
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and categories: a direction in which sexual categories are not necessarily defined by the gender
identities of our sexual partners (Better, 2014). Better pointed out that “sexuality becomes more
complicated as it is an identity that is both personal and relational” and despite having an
“interstitial third category [bisexuality] people today are finding that” the tripartite labels
(homosexual, heterosexual and bisexual) all “do not fit their experiences” and so individuals “are
creating new words to better describe how they understand their sexual identity” (p. 36). In
recent years, many researchers have interrogated the relationships between attraction, behaviour,
and sexual identity (Baldwin et al., 2015). In Baldwin et al.’s research, the participants had
differing stories regarding their fluid-sexuality. For “some men, it was sexual experiences, for
others it was attraction (not just physical), for still others it was a process of negotiating identity
within different sexual systems in different cultural contexts” (p. 2022-2023).
According to Kalra and Bulgra (2010), “[s]exuality is not hardwired or fixed” but is
instead “fluid and profoundly affected by change in cultural environments and, perhaps more
importantly in the case of [immigrants], by structural conditions” (p. 124) of the society in which
they are assimilating. The Katz-Wise, Reisner, Hughto and Keo-Meier et al. (2015) research
study examined sexual orientation identities and sexual fluidity with a sampling of transgender
and gender-nonconforming adults. The study highlighted that “[s]exual fluidity has been
understood by some researchers to be a property of sexuality that is held to some degree by all
individuals, regardless of sexual orientation” (Katz-Wise et al., 2015, p. 76). These researchers
described how a transgender woman who is sexually attracted to women may identify as
heterosexual before coming out as transgender and lesbian after transition, assuming her
romantic and/or sexual attractions remain stable. This ambiguity was noted similarly in Han’s
(2015) study where one of his male participants stated that:
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I don’t speak of myself as being gay, because I’m not gay. I don’t speak of myself as
being bisexual, because I’m not bisexual. Now, if I choose to be with a male, then I
choose to be with a male, but I’m not gay. I don’t speak about being gay, and I don’t
intend to be gay. (p. 239)
Vrangalova and Savin-Williams (2010) held that in contrast to research that has been done about
gay identities, little is known about those who border but do not inhabit the buckets of
homosexuality (gay) and heterosexuality (straight). The landscape around sexual fluidity is
wide, deep and complicated. The transgender movement along with the gender non-conforming
movement add an additional layer of complexity with respect to gaining a full understanding of
fluidsexuality.
Representing in Social Spaces
The current explosion of sexually fluid identifications has made it difficult at times to
separate sexual identity from sexual behaviour (Baldwin et al., 2015). So how should one
represent authentically when engaging socially as a fluid person in social contexts within
mainstream culture? Is there even one answer that will meet with a consensus? It is hard to
believe any consensus can be attained as we watch time and money being spent in media and
political debates all across North America around bathroom privileges for transgender
individuals. Baldwin et al. (2015) felt that “[d]eploying multiple sexual identities is a legitimate
strategy for navigating a social world in which sexual classification systems are ill-fitting” (p.
2023) and overtones of marginalization saturate political agendas.
Coleman-Fountain’s (2014) participants increasingly saw “sexuality as secondary” (p.
803) to an individual’s core identity. This non-linear lens, as demonstrated by the participants of
Coleman-Fountain’s (2014) study, is perhaps the first step to advancing knowledge, effecting
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change, and positioning communities for a healthier life context - a context that consists of
reduced emotional, psychological and mental health duress. Unhealthy stress levels are
inevitable with the tensions that accompany any life that is not lived authentically. There is a
lack of language, knowledge and understanding around these complex contexts of fluidsexuality,
where a gap exists for learning about this construct. As a result of this gap, community leaders
are unable to develop social programs to effectively address the aforementioned emotional,
psychological and mental health concerns stemming from an unhealthy life context that could
emerge from a person who is not able to be their authentic self. TSFI and their lived experiences
are a fertile area for further examination and exploration within the academic context of TSS, as
a way to provide knowledge to our communities of the diversities and differences of
fluidsexuality.
Transnational Sexuality Studies (TSS) and Adult Learning
Transnational Sexuality Studies (TSS) is an interdisciplinary field that engages in the
examination of the role that sexuality plays in transnational relations and transnational
formations (Hemmings, 2007). In the examination of this role across transnational spaces we
know that:
[TSS cuts] across sexuality studies, gender studies, postcolonial theory, queer theory,
anthropology, critical race studies, literary studies, development studies, globalization
theory and reproductive health studies. (p.4)
TSS is an interdisciplinary field that is complex. It requires discourse among nations that are
examining issues of gender, sexuality and ethnicity where this discourse is essential for any
territory that recognizes and appreciates the impact of globalization in the shaping of its national
identity (Hemmings, 2007).
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TSS reflects a borderless world that examines flows of bodies across space not limited to
geography and national borders (Mizzi, 2008). This borderless world is evidenced in the
plethora of diasporic communities across Canada. Mizzi noted that most of the discussions and
inquiry around TSS “can be found within immigration and refugee studies, diaspora studies,
international development, and global human rights discourses” (p. 3). With this in mind,
Hemmings (2007) affirmed the aforementioned statement about discussions and inquiry.
Hemmings (2007) also suggested that any level of inquiry in TSS comprised of encounters
between non-binary (fluid) subjects are easily misunderstood. Sexual meanings are easily
misunderstood across diasporic communities and these meanings change continuously as
subjects negotiate each other. In this negotiation subjects develop knowledge and experience
different understandings throughout their lives under the auspices of transculturalism, where
identities in a multicultural landscape interact with each other across different cultural
understandings.
Adult Learning
It is known from academic literature that knowledge is not easily defined, and its
understanding and misunderstanding is freely present throughout all the different layers of adult
learning (Grace & Hill, 2001). At a fundamental level, knowledge involves making sense of
information and lived experiences. By extension, TSFI knowledge can be classified as a
composite of the multiple ways that individuals construct meaning of their lives as participants in
mainstream communities (Grace & Hill, 2001). TSFI knowledge provides an opportunity for
communities to develop an inclusionary pedagogy that challenges hierarchies and suspends
traditional identity classifications with regards to the different ways of understanding the world
(Grace & Hill, 2001).
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For there to be a change in thinking around TSFI contexts, it will be important for adult
educators to nurture learning spaces that “problematize social and cultural formations, including
heteronormative adult education, that have historically relegated [SGS] persons to a sociocultural
hinterland” (Grace & Hill, 2001, p. 2). This sociocultural hinterland has historically caused SGS
persons to “struggle with issues of being, self-preservation, expectation, becoming, resistance,
and belonging” (p. 2). History has been consistently full of “negation, erasure, and violence” (p.
2) that attacks and violates the integrity of any sexual identity that falls outside of the norm.
Adult education has so much to gain from a deeper understanding of fluidsexualities, as border
crossers who are adept at existing and surviving inside and outside of the mainstreams of life
with high levels of success (Grace & Hill, 2001).
Far Reaching Kaleidoscope
This literature review has illustrated that the traditional use of the words gay and queer
are inappropriate descriptors for the different identities within fluidsexuality. The historical use
of these words are also inefficient descriptors for those persons who manage multiple sexual
identities (Adams, Braun, & McCreanor, 2014). The gay-straight binary and any representation
of this as the prevalent understanding for human sexuality is an archaic and outdated way of
living in the world. From my lived experiences and the results of this literature review one can
see that the world is brimming with sexual diversity in a wide space that has been described in
this dissertation as fluidsexuality.
Just as a kaleidoscope mirrors colourful patterns, the lived experiences of TSFI is a
landscape that mirrors colourful threads of life around different cultural contexts. This landscape
around SGS is very diverse and colourful with stories of TSFI who self-identify in many ways.
The stories of TSFI are far reaching across national and transnational spaces where stories are
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what people know and they offer an insight into how people think, live and experience their lives
within a framework of transculturalism. The stories of TSFI offer knowledge that can transform
communities. Stories are quite often a vehicle through which knowledge is disseminated by
listening or reading and simultaneously living vicariously through the experiences of storytellers.
These vicarious experiences provide a learning community from which to build knowledge and
an awareness about differences or similarities to our own lives.
Sexual identity is complex, problematic and far reaching into the lived experiences of all
people. Specifically, the lived experiences of TSFI provide an intersection of knowledge and
power with respect to the differing cross-cultural understandings of sexual identity. This
literature review explored different stories, understandings and experiences around fluid sexual
identity and the resultant potential for a development of knowledge from this exploration. The
premise of this exploration is that sexual identity is fluid, overlapping, contextual and contingent
(Siddiqi, 2011). A deeper awareness and understanding of this kaleidoscope of sexual fluidity,
espouses a new public pedagogy that negates the long-standing hegemony of the homosexualheterosexual and male-female model as the normative hegemony.
Summary
There is a significant body of literature that addresses sexual fluidity. The literature,
however, is lacking sufficient nuances of sexual fluidity as it relates to transculturalism. In this
chapter, I provided a critical review and synthesis of scholarly work to inform the focus of my
research. The literature on transculturalism, transnationalism, and transnational identity analyzes
the lives of TSFI in a way that allows outsiders of this context to develop an appreciation of its
multiple locations in our communities.
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The circumvention of traditional theoretical frameworks, such as queer theory and
intersectionality theory, has paved the way for a deeper conversation and acceptance of other
ideologies which is what a celebration of difference is all about. No other generation has
experienced such a vast array of media sources that influence their identity as the Millennials in
their understanding of fluidsexuality labels. The integration of borderland theory and liminality
theory provides a new theoretical framework to allow a deeper understanding of the differences
that exist in regard to sexual identity. As a result of these differences, and related identity
behaviours, I analyzed the difficult processes of CPC behaviours (covering, passing, and code
switching), that so many sexually fluid individuals have had to adopt to be more accepted into
mainstream culture under false pretexts. The stresses involved with these falsehoods indicate the
importance of this research.
In Chapter Three, I provide details on the research methodology and conclude with the
research design for this study.
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CHAPTER THREE: RESEARCH DESIGN
Overview
The research approach herein looks at how TSFI people learn about and fit into a culture
that is built on the premise of binarysexuality within a transcultural context. Does it mean that
these individuals negate themselves and portray what is expected, so as to fit into what is
commonly known as the normative context? Or, does it mean that these individuals are now able
to explore aspects of their sexuality that they were never able to previously acknowledge in their
birth countries? Perhaps it means that these individuals are now able, as they are now living in
Canada, to explore all depths of their sexuality that have been dormant throughout their lives
prior to immigrating to Canada. These are just some of the questions that aided me to delve
further into the lived experiences and hidden contexts of TSFI people.
Epistemological Underpinnings
Amidst the backdrop of learning inherent within the lives of TSFI people, this study is
informed by a fusion of borderland theory and liminality theory (BL theory). BL theory is about
identity fluidity and the existence of sexual identities that reside outside of historical cultural
norms. BL theory addresses the development of a given culture, unknown or emerging, that
challenges the hegemony of traditional perspectives. Sexual fluidity is more easily understood
and appreciated within BL theory. This is due to the fact that the premise of sexual fluidity does
not accept a static understanding and in so doing challenges social relationships along with fixed
perspectives of gay and straight life.
This autoethnographic study explored my own personal thoughts and feelings in addition
to the feelings, stories, experiences, and insights of eight participants. I describe my own
experiences and observations, but I also look critically at these experiences as a cultural practice
61
as they relate to my personal immigrant existences. Concurrently, I delve critically into the
participants’ stories in isolation, as well as juxtaposed against my own story.
Autoethnography as Methodology
The term autoethnography dates back to 1979 and has been credited to David Hayano
who spoke of the autoethnographic researcher as an insider studying a group of people with a
common link within a unique cultural context (Nealy, 2014). In autoethnography, the personal
experiences of the autoethnographer are focal points in the research. The perspectives of the
insider within the culture being examined provide valuable insights into the culture under
examination (Nealy, 2014).
The goal behind autoethnographic work is to obtain a deeper understanding of an aspect
of life from a lived cultural context (Ellis & Bochner, 2000). The autoethnographic methodology
evolved beyond Hayano in 1979 and emerged further in the 1980’s during a period described as
the crisis of representation (Denzin, 1997). During this period, researchers viewed reality as a
collection of complex stories that has been examined to make sense of and provide meaning to
the lives of a collective group of individuals (Nealy, 2014). It was this making sense of reality
that pushed renegade researchers to move towards autoethnographic works as a way of
producing “meaningful, accessible, and evocative research grounded in personal experience”
(Ellis, Adam, & Bochner, 2011, p.1). This type of research methodology would serve to
“sensitize readers to issues of identity politics, to experiences shrouded in silence, and to forms
of representation that would deepen our capacity to empathize with people who are different”
(p.1). In using autoethnography, the researcher becomes the subject of the work where he or she
utilizes individual life experiences to illustrate, clarify and give a deeper understanding of the
culture in which the individual researcher belongs (Pelias et al., 2008).
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Autoethnography as a qualitative research methodology allows readers to move back and
forth between being in the personal story of the writer and being in the experiences of others (the
participants). The reader is able to fill in or compare their experiences and provide their own
sensitivities about the context of the research discussion (Ellis, 1997). This form of qualitative
research, writing and method draws a connection to the autobiographical and personal, in
conjunction with the cultural and social, and in so doing highlights action, emotion, embodiment,
and introspection (Ellis, 2004).
Alignment
Autoethnography is suitable for this research because it “confronts dominant forms of
representation and power in an attempt to reclaim, through self-reflective response” and
“representational spaces that have [stigmatized] those of us on the borders” (Tierney, 1998, p.
66). TSFI people reside within the borders around fluidsexuality and are themselves stigmatized
by virtue of their longstanding invisibility and lack of recognition in Canadian culture.
Autoethnography “deconstructs the traditional dualisms of researcher/subject, outsiderinsider” perspectives (Nealy, 2014, p. 49). In spite of this, the methodology has been historically
challenged in academia with respect to its objectivity in contrast to other research methodologies.
On the challenge of its objectivity as a methodology, Connell (2011) argued that objectivity is an
attitude that in and of itself “leads to accurate, adequate knowledge of people and things” (p. 6)
and for this objectivity to exist “it actually requires engagement with people and things” (p. 6).
Research Sample
The process of population sampling and identifying participants for a research “involves
decisions not only about which people to observe and or interview but also about settings, events
and social processes” (Miles, Huberman, & Saldaña, 2014, p. 30). Furthermore, the theoretical
63
framework and research questions have a significant impact on the boundaries for sampling
decisions.
Qualitative research sampling is often purposeful so as to source the best informants,
which in the case of this research are TSFI people. By doing so, simultaneously, this allows the
researcher to connect directly with the research questions (Miles, Huberman & Saldaña, 2014).
In this study, I relied on snowballing sampling to recruit eight participants from across Canada.
Gender, class, and race were not a part of the criteria for selecting participants. The targeted age
was persons in the age range of 25 to 55 years old. Table 2 provides details with respect to all
the participants of this study.
Table 2
List of Study Participants and Demographic Information
Participant
Pseudonym
Country
of Origin
Age Gender
Current
Country
of
Residence
Marital –
Relationship
Status
Children
Years in
Canada
Prior/Current
Roger
Jamaica
48
Male
Canada
Single
Yes
5
John
52
Male
USA
Married
Yes
11
Samuel
Caribbean
Island
Barbados
45
Male
Canada
Single
No
9
Mary
Jamaica
40
Female
Canada
Yes
25
Taroh
Japan
27
Neutral
Canada
In a
relationship
Single
No
2
Barry
UK
30
Male
Canada
Single
No
Tina
Jamaica
49
Female
Canada
Yes
Donald
Romania
26
Male
Canada
In a
relationship
Single
Most of
his life
40
No
21
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Participant
Pseudonym
Susan
Country
of Origin
Ethiopia
Age Gender
39
Female
Current
Country
of
Residence
Canada
Marital –
Relationship
Status
Children
Years in
Canada
Yes
27
Prior/Current
In a
relationship
Data Collection Methods
The data collection process for this research study consisted of eight interviews and
journaling. The journaling included, but was not limited to, my reflections on the stories being
shared, in addition to the articulation of my own vignettes of my TSFI context. My focus during
this phase of the research process was on the data emerging from the participants.
Interviews
The eight transnationals represented different ethnic backgrounds across Canada and
globally. The interview questions were designed to draw on individuals’ stories as they relate to
their sexually fluid lives, or lack thereof, in their respective home countries. The interviews also
drew on the participants’ resultant experiences and adjustments to life in Canada, while
maintaining transnational connections and affiliations with their respective birth countries. The
discussions were semi-structured with flexibility given during the interview process to allow the
participants to speak freely outside the scope of the prepared questions. The interviews ran for
approximately one and one-half hours. Interviews were recorded; after which, they were
transcribed, and analyzed critically.
Throughout the interview process, I took extreme care to adhere to all ethical guidelines.
I draw emphasis here to highlight the fact that the focus of my research was above and beyond
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my own desire to learn about myself, where instead my focus was on learning more about others’
experiences. Seven interviews were completed by telephone. One interview was completed via
Skype. All interviews occurred over a five week period running from January 20, 2016 to
February 7, 2016. The day after each interview, I set aside time for journaling and reflection on
all that was discussed. I used NVIVO to sustain optimal data storage, data management, data
portability, and easy access of all research materials for the review, analysis, and writing phases.
Journaling
The journaling process consisted of me writing my thoughts, memories and feelings
throughout all phases of the research process. Time and attention was given to journaling after
each interview to ensure that I captured my reflections on each participant’s story while it was
fresh in my mind. All my journaling was done by way of emails and smartphone notes to
myself. The aforementioned technological systems helped me maintain an organized structure
and inventory of the data where this in turn allowed me to locate pieces of data quickly and
readily (Merriam, 2009).
Data Analysis
According to Merriam (2009), data analysis is the most difficult part of the research
process. Data analysis involves making sense of the data by consolidating and interpreting all
that the participants have said throughout the process of data collection (Merriam, 2009). Wong
(2008) spoke further about data analysis as the “process of systematically searching and
arranging the interview transcripts, observation notes, or other non-textual materials that the
researcher accumulates to increase the understanding of the phenomenon” (p. 14). According to
Wong (2008), the process of data analysis primarily involves coding and categorizing the data.
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The data collected for this research were the stories of the eight participants, alongside
my own contexts, experiences, thoughts and vignettes. Data analysis commenced during the data
collection phase and in so doing enabled the study and its focus to be shaped continuously as the
research proceeded (Glesne, 2011). In this data collection phase, a first level analysis was
sustained by way of a first level coding process. This first level analysis consisted of reflection
on the data, frequent organization and re-organization of the data along with a first pass coding
of the transcripts as they were completed. The performance of this first level analysis in
conjunction with a subsequent second level of deeper analysis, were separate phases. These two
levels afforded rich interpretations and understandings to be captured from the data. A third
level of data analysis which juxtaposed my own experiences alongside those of the eight
participants was effected.
NVIVO Database Management
Data analysis was an efficient process because NVIVO allowed me to store and organize
the majority of the research artifacts including, but not limited to, transcribed interviews,
interview audio files, articles from the literature review, field notes, journals, memos and website
links. The biggest advantage of NVIVO was that it afforded me the ability to generate document
coding automatically, enabling me to search across all the NVIVO coding nodes for themes and
patterns. This saved me a considerable amount of time during the research process.
Filtering the Stories
Some of my own stories (experiences) were at the forefront of my mind and
consciousness, and others subsequently emerged as much of my personal memories were
embedded in periods of my life that were forgotten or buried. The process of data collection was
deeply emotional for me. It was desirable, however, that this research be primarily about the
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participants’ experience. Hence, my experiences were carefully filtered through as a secondary
layer. All participants’ stories and my own personal stories were subsequently analyzed
according to the steps outlined in the next section.
Phases of Analysis
The previously mentioned first level analysis phase involved the identification of
segments in the data that were responsive to the research questions (Merriam, 2009). The second
level analysis phase involved a deeper examination of the themes that emerged from the coding
process. Summarizing the transcripts and organizing them according to coded categories proved
an efficient way of analyzing and identifying themes. Glesne (2011) suggested that in a thematic
analysis, connections must be made about the stories being told by asking questions such as:
“What is being illuminated? How do the stories connect? What themes and patterns give shape to
your data?” (p. 194). These questions remained with me during the data analysis phase, and it
was a constant struggle to make meaning of the stories.
Coding data. Coding involves dividing the data into categories and assigning tags or
labels for the different themes, topics and issues that naturally emerged from the data (Wong,
2008). It is important to note that while the NVIVO research database software was utilized to
organize and compile the data in one place, “the computer does not do the analysis for the
researcher” (Wong, 2008, p. 15). The researcher behind the software program is the one
creating the categories, coding and deciding what emerges (Wong, 2008). The software
provided a mechanism for the organizational process. As the researcher, I identified the patterns
and drew meaning from the data.
Thematic analysis. Thematic analysis specific to TSFI draws questions such as: Was
there a consistent experience of politicization with the TSFI research participants? Were the
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journeys, fears, and experiences consistent, similar or different? Was there a pattern among the
participants as to their feelings in regards to public disclosure? Were there themes and issues
emerging from the participants that may not have been foreseen in the preparation process for
this research? Research coding of the answers and observations of these and other questions as
they emerged was a significant part of the data analysis process. The purpose of qualitative
research coding and its resultant analysis is to show relationships and create a framework of
relational categories for the data (Glesne, 2011). The use of NVIVO’s coding features made my
resultant analysis an efficient process.
First level analysis. NVIVO was central to my organization and first level analysis
processes. My use of NVIVO for my doctoral research coding work was a stark contrast to my
master’s research coding work which was done on paper, in multiple binders, and with
highlighters. According to Welsh (2002), it
is easier and quicker to code text on the screen than it would be to manually cut and paste
different pieces of text relevant to a single code onto pieces of paper and then store these
in a file folder or paper accordion organizer. (p. 5)
Second level analysis. The NVIVO technology makes the second level analysis phase
more efficient in that different pieces of data can be linked electronically within the software,
and searches for coded themes can be isolated for review within a matter of seconds (Welsh,
2002). The searching tools in NVIVO allows the researcher to interrogate the data at a number
of levels and this capability enhances and improves the rigor of the analysis process (Welsh,
2002).
Third level analysis. NVIVO has excellent chunking features that allowed for different
ways to display and visualize the data as a whole or in specific parts (Welsh, 2002). The
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technological tools of NVIVO minimized the time-intensive data collection and organization
work that typically comes with qualitative research work. A high level of organization allowed
me to be efficient as I reflected, journaled, analyzed and synthesized sound conclusions from the
data.
Trustworthiness
The trustworthiness aspect of a qualitative study examines the dependability of the
research (Bloomberg & Volpe, 2012). This aspect is of particular significance in examining
TSFI and the analysis of their stories. As qualitative researchers, it is imperative to “seek to
control potential biases that might be present throughout the design, implementation, and
analysis of the study” (Bloomberg & Volpe, 2012, p. 125). In regards to the issues and concerns
around trustworthiness, the aforementioned processes and procedures for the data collection and
data analysis confirmed that detailed, careful and thoughtful steps were taken throughout all the
cycles of this qualitative research study. Additionally, the forthcoming limitations and
delimitations section of this research also further addressed additional issues and concerns
around trustworthiness.
Credibility
At all times I facilitated a safe backdrop for participants to share freely and openly about
their TSFI contexts. Full reassurance of privacy and the use of pseudonyms assuaged feelings of
safety and helped with full and free disclosure. Beyond this, I took extensive measures to ensure
credibility by engaging a deep examination of the research questions in relation to the research
methodology. This deep examination showed “how well matched the logic of the methods is to
the kinds of research questions that are being posed,” (Bloomberg & Volpe, 2012, p. 125) and
how this matches up with the explanation that is being developed out of the analysis discussion.
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This type of verification involved “consideration of the interrelationship between the research
design components – the study’s purpose, conceptual framework, research questions and
methods/methodology” (p. 125). Data analysis and the determinations emerging from the
interpretation of data are key in addressing the concerns and issues surrounding creditability
(Bloomberg & Volpe, 2012).
Dependability
Systematic and structured processes during the data collection stage significantly
supported the consistency and dependability of the data. Inconsistencies in data were expected
to occur, however, the “goal is not to eliminate inconsistencies but to ensure that” as the
researcher I was aware and transparent in all instances where this potential existed (Bloomberg
& Volpe, 2012, p. 125). As such, it was a priority for me to carefully track all processes that
were utilized with my use of the NVIVO research database platform (Bloomberg & Volpe,
2012). In short, my ability to show consistency and a high level of organization in every stage of
the process can address any concerns or questions regarding the dependability of this research.
Confirmability
The findings occurred as a result of the research process and not as an outcome of my
biases and subjectivity. The steps of my research process support dependability concerns and
serve to offer readers ample reassurance of the findings and themes that emerged.
Transferability
Transferability deals with the manner in which the reader makes a determination about
the experiences and stories in a given context and how this knowledge can transfer to another
particular context (Bloomberg & Volpe, 2012). The awareness and knowledge from learning
about this culture of sexual fluidity can be applicable and transferrable to other life situations.
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Similar situations will exist which will be related to the nature of what has been discussed,
analyzed and disclosed herein about the TSFI experience (Bloomberg & Volpe, 2012).
Miles, Huberman and Saldaña (2014) spoke to how issues of trustworthiness can extend
beyond the context of the research process to allow the researcher to examine his or her trust
relationship with the people being studied. I disclosed openly about my own lived experiences to
my participants. In doing so, my goal was to provide a safe space for deeply evocative
discussions.
Ethics
It is not sufficient to “focus only on the quality of the knowledge we are producing”
(Miles, Huberman & Saldaña, 2014, p. 56). Other matters, such as ethical considerations, need
to be addressed. It is necessary for a researcher to protect and safeguard the rights, privacy and
general well-being of participants (Bloomberg & Volpe, 2012). As a researcher, I am bound by
ethical standards and guidelines with respect to conducting research on human subjects. All
research processes that fall within the purview of an academic setting such as a university, must
meet the ethical standards and guidelines of the university’s institutional review board (IRB)
guidelines. The guidelines have specific requirements “that affect researcher-participant
relationships, agreements, and data collection protocols” to ensure that the privacy of the
participants are protected and secured at all times (Miles, Huberman & Saldaña, 2014, p. 58).
There are a number of protections inherent to the ethical approval process in regard to
ensuring privacy for its participants. For example, should third party providers be retained - such
as transcribers, research assistants, or NVIVO database assistants – they will have access to the
collected data, and as a result, are required to sign a confidentiality agreement. These types of
agreements state that the researcher (and the university) must obtain “explicit consent not to
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reveal any of the contents of the tapes (recordings), nor to reveal the identities of the
participants” (University of Calgary, n.d.), as well as any information regarding participants.
This research met all regulations, requirements, and processes set forth by the University
of Calgary’s Conjoint Faculties Research Ethics Board (CFREB). Throughout my data
collection phase, I regularly assured all participants of my obligations as a researcher and the
requirements that I had to maintain according to the CFREB process. This included, but was not
limited to, providing reassurances that all discussions and identities would be treated
confidentially. Additionally, the data was to be kept private and all participants would have the
opportunity to review final products prior to publication or dissemination of the research
findings. All the participants of this research were provided a copy of their interview transcripts
via email. In the aforementioned email communications, they were asked to provide feedback
within two weeks of receiving the transcripts, with respect to accuracy and or moving forward as
a participant. Only one participant (Taroh) responded and provided feedback. Revisions and
adjustments were made to this transcript and the revised version was subsumed in the research.
At all times, there was a full appreciation and recognition for all ethical considerations,
privacy concerns and protection mechanisms for my TSFI participants. TSFI are particularly
sensitive to public disclosure and so the aspect of privacy was very important to me.
Pseudonyms were used for the eight participants.
Personal Safety
There is also a personal concern for myself, in that as a Jamaican national, I am exposing
myself in sharing my own TSFI context because of my close connections to Jamaica. I have,
however, chosen to take this risk, and may opt not to return to Jamaica for any future visits
should any attention or publicity emerge from this research. In autoethnography it is important
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that the researcher “with all their strengths and weaknesses – become highly visible, and thus
vulnerable” (Nealy, 2014, p. 61). Throughout this research, I held apprehensions and concerns
about this potential visibility, but my conviction was of such that I remained determined that this
story be told. I have chosen to be bold and write the TSFI story with integrity, respect, and
character. This disclosure of my own privacy and safety concerns as stated herein, was also
expressed and articulated to the participants. In so doing, they were reassured that I was vested
in the same way as they were, and this reinforced to them my commitment to insert all
mechanisms to ensure privacy.
Limitations and Delimitations
Limitations are potential weaknesses or problems with the study that are identified by the
researcher (Creswell, 2012). Researchers are expected to “advance limitations or weaknesses of
their study that may have affected the results” (Creswell, 2012, p. 199). According to Glesne
(2011), much “of demonstrating the trustworthiness of your data is to realize the limitations of
your study” (p. 212). As such, detailing the circumstances behind the research process where
weaknesses or problems may have been observed, will help the reader to understand and
appreciate the nature of the data (Glesne, 2011).
Limitations
Limitations included:
1. The topic of this research is taboo and it was difficult to gain and develop trust
with individuals. Beyond the eight selected participants, there were two
additional persons who showed an interest initially, but decided not to participate.
2. Knowledge of English was a limitation. There were two additional participants,
who decided not to participate due to their difficulty communicating in English.
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Delimitations
Delimitations are “conditions or parameters that the researcher intentionally imposes in
order to limit the scope of a study” (Bloomberg & Volpe, 2012, p. 8). In some instances, for
example, a research project may focus on participants of a certain age, race or gender
(Bloomberg & Volpe, 2012). Delimitations allowed me to narrow the scope of the study,
allowing me control and autonomy as the researcher.
Delimitations included:
1. This research targeted immigrants and, as such, travel across Canada was
thought to be necessary, to meet with participants. A lack of funding ultimately
prevented face-to-face interviews, where this was the initially preferred mode for
conducting the interviews.
2. Participants were selected from the age range of 25 to 55. This is a relevant
period for the immigrant experience necessary, as it offered a significant adult
time period for participants to have had Canadian immigrant and TSFI
experiences.
Transnational (immigrant) experience in Canada is a critical criterion for this research. It
is critical because this research examined TSFI from an immigration perspective. This lens
examined the differences and similarities along with the resultant impact of immigration on the
outcome of the lives of TSFI people living in Canada.
Summary
In Chapter Three, I provided and addressed components of my research design that
included: epistemological underpinnings; methodology; data collection; data analysis;
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trustworthiness; ethics; and, limitations and delimitations. Chapter Four presents findings and
analysis of emergent themes.
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CHAPTER FOUR: STORIES AND ANALYSIS OF THEMES
Overview
In the previous chapter, I reviewed the framework and methodology for this study, as
well as the approach taken in collecting the data. This chapter includes the stories of eight
Canadian immigrants who self-identify as sexually fluid individuals. I include my own story as a
sexually fluid Jamaican immigrant now living in Canada. At all times when I report about “the
participants,” I include myself within this referencing. I will now locate myself in this research
by sharing my own story.
My Story
In 1988, I migrated to Florida to attend university. After completing my bachelor’s
degree in 1992, I moved to New York to attend paralegal school; and shortly thereafter embarked
on a career in law as a paraprofessional. In 1998, following a brief marriage, I eventually
naturalized into U.S. citizenship. In 2005, I attended my cousin’s wedding in Toronto and fell in
love with Canada. I applied for Canadian permanent residence status in 2006 under the skilled
worker points program, and in 2008, my daughter and I were granted permanent residency. My
daughter and I relocated to Canada in 2011 and in 2016, we naturalized as Canadian citizens.
Sexual Engagement
As a sexually fluid 48-year old Jamaican immigrant, I have a history of sexual
engagement with both genders. Until recent years, I have always had a difficult time positioning
myself and understanding myself sexually. In my earlier years in Jamaica (roughly age 12 – 16),
I was sexually molested by an adult male. My molester was a White Catholic priest from the
United States who served in Jamaica. This period of molestation was a difficult and confusing
time in my life. My first introduction to sex was not by way of my molester, but instead was
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through a childhood friend the same age as myself. She was very experienced and taught me
about sexual pleasures before she emigrated from Jamaica at the age of 12.
A sexually fluid engagement, drawing from my own experiences, can change based on
different circumstances and contexts. They do not necessarily occur in one instance, but can
occur in blocks of time. For example, someone can be solidly “opposite gender inclined” for a
10-year period, “same gender” inclined for another few years, and then might vacillate between
both genders for yet another period. SGS activities, in my experience, can even be something
that is not acted upon, but instead are thoughts that are harboured by an individual who may even
be living in a heteronormative context. For example, a woman can have sex with her husband,
but during sex can be fantasizing about sex with another woman.
Navigating Sexuality
In the past, and even now to a certain degree, I have found it challenging to navigate
sexually with either men or women. I feel that this is due to an imbalance caused by my early
introduction to opposite gender sex from the time I was approximately eight to twelve years old,
followed immediately by the sexual molestation period. As an adult, I have only had one
significant male relationship and one significant female relationship. I have often wondered if
my sexual fluidity existed because of the molestation experiences. I do not know. I have not
been able to make this determination and I doubt I ever will. Over the years, however, I have
found that I have a history of intentionally limiting myself in relationship experiences and, at
times, even sabotaging potential relationships. Due to heteronormative expectations and my own
insecurities, it has been easier and less complicated to be with men than it has been to be with
women. In spite of attempts along the way to root myself into gay culture, I was never
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comfortable within this context. Conversely, I was also never completely comfortable within the
heteronormative context. I am, for the most part, a loner.
Over time, I have come to have a full appreciation of the fact that all my different subidentities intersect and are connected. Within this place of intersectionality, I have, in recent
years attained a better understanding and appreciation of myself, by sustaining a fuller
recognition for my complex identity layers. I have learned that a better understanding of these
identity layers provides for a healthier emotional and psychological balance in my life.
Other Stories
In the interviews for this research, I identified myself as a Black immigrant
Jamaican/American/Canadian (JameriCanadian). I further identified as a single parent, working
as a conservative white-collar professional, who self-identifies as having a sexually fluid,
transcultural context. The stories of all the participants are a collection of their feelings,
thoughts, and life experiences. I am grateful to all those who participated for engaging and
trusting their personal stories with me. The following are brief summaries about each
participant.
John
John is a photographer. Originally from a Caribbean island (first island), John lived in
Canada for 11 years before relocating to the United States. John asked that I not disclose the
Caribbean islands from where he originated prior to migrating to North America. His multiple
immigration contexts were particularly unique and could be an identifying factor in sharing his
story. Due to his multiple immigration experiences, I will refer to John’s second immigration
context as the “other island.” John’s third and fourth immigration contexts were to Canada and
subsequently to the United States. John moved to Canada from the “other island” at the age of
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22. John has been married for 14 years and has one child. John’s wife has been aware of his
history with SGS, as he disclosed this information to her prior to their marriage.
Samuel
Samuel is originally from Barbados and has been living in Canada since 2007. He
currently works in the corporate insurance sector. Samuel immigrated to Canada via the
Canadian refugee program. As a young adult in Barbados, Samuel regularly experimented with
same gender and opposite gender sexual activity. Since moving to Canada, Samuel has primarily
engaged in SGS.
Mary
Mary was born in Jamaica. She is a self-employed entrepreneur in real estate business
initiatives. She has been living in Canada for 25 years. Mary’s mother sponsored her to Canada
when she was around 17 years old. Mary is currently in a committed relationship with a female.
She previously dated a man for 15 years prior to her current relationship. Mary has a twentyyear-old daughter and a newborn daughter.
Taroh
Taroh was born in Japan and has been living in Canada for one and a half years. He is
currently a graduate student at a university in Canada and works as a part-time teacher’s
assistant. Taroh plans to remain in Canada after he has completed his studies. He is not in a
relationship and was the only participant interviewed via Skype.
Barry
Barry was born in Canada. He lived much of his life in the United Kingdom (UK) at
different times throughout his childhood. Barry has Canadian-UK dual citizenship and is a
university student, but has worked in the past as a freelance photojournalist. Barry has also lived
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in the Netherlands, and, at the time of our interview, was contemplating a return to the UK.
Barry is not in a relationship.
Tina
Tina is from Jamaica. Tina’s mother left Jamaica to pursue a better life in Canada, and as
such, left her behind in the care of her grandparents. She is the owner and manager of a hair
salon. Tina has two grown children and a grandson. Tina was previously married to the father
of her children and is currently in a long distance relationship with a female.
Donald
Donald is originally from Romania and immigrated to Canada as a young child with his
parents. Since his immigration, he regularly immersed himself in his Romanian culture and
community here in Canada. Donald is a lawyer and a partner at a mid-size law firm. Donald
pursued his postgraduate studies in the UK. At the time of his interview, he was not in a
relationship.
Susan
Susan was born in Ethiopia. She has been living in Canada since 1989. Susan has a
nineteen-year-old daughter. She works in the travel and tourism industry at a hotel where she
handles bookings and reservations. Susan is in a relationship with an ex-boyfriend from an
earlier period in her life.
In volunteering for this research, the participants provided information about their lived
experiences as sexually fluid immigrants living in Canada. Three overarching thematic
categories emerged from the interviews and will be explored and expanded upon as the following
themes: (1) Religious Tension; (2) Identity Complexity; (3) Not Belonging.
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Theme: Religious Tension
Religion was a theme repeated throughout most of the interviews; Donald and Taroh
were the only participants who did not discuss religion. Six of the participants were raised in an
environment informed by strong religious beliefs. Admittedly, I too grew up under similar
circumstances. Sexual abuse has been a recurring problem within religious communities for
years. Its presence, related challenges and its impact on victims have been evidenced in
mainstream media and social media. The complexity of sexual identity is a noted derivative that
emerges from experiences around sexual abuse. Hand in hand with this is the complexity that
comes with religious tension and what religious leaders are teaching or not teaching within
religious communities.
There seems to be a consistent sexual identity disjuncture for anyone who is different that
has been raised with deep religious understandings. Religion seems to have failed at nurturing
feelings of safety and belonging, and when individuals like myself are impacted by sexual abuse
around religious contexts, this causes situations where strong feelings of emotional
disassociation often develop over time. These emotions are further impacted by immigration
experiences and the disconnect that occurs as an individual leaves an original place of belonging
and moves into a new place where they have to learn and develop different cultural values while
working hard to build a premise of belonging within immigrant communities.
Sexual Abuse Generally
Five of the nine participants in this study experienced sexual abuse. One of these victim
participants experienced teen rape and four experienced child molestation. Although Mary
spoke of her teen date rape experience, she provided no details beyond that it had occurred when
she was around eighteen years of age, just prior to her immigration to Canada. Mary became
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pregnant as a result of her rape experience and immigrated to Canada while pregnant. Susan was
not raped but spoke extensively about the rape culture in Ethiopia in the hope that research could
be undertaken on this issue. Susan shared the following: “Every second of every minute, women
will get raped there. I believe even men, but you hear with women it’s happening.” It was quite
painful for me to hear Susan talk about the proclivity of female sexual violence in Ethiopia.
Religious Sexual Abuse
When Barry was 7 years old, he was part of a church choir in the UK. It was here that
Barry witnessed “rampant molestation going on throughout our choir,” and he shared how this
experience of child molestation traumatized him. He still remembers the pleas of the other boys
and the choirmaster persuading him to keep the secret which he held for almost twenty-two
years. Barry disclosed that he eventually completed a police report on the matter and had to
undergo a lengthy legal process. The authorities advised him that it would likely take years for
other victims to feel comfortable to come forward. Barry has tried all through his life to
disassociate these situations of sexual molestation outside of his sexual development. Barry said
that he had difficulty staying committed in relationships and that he had a tendency of sabotaging
relationships. Barry believed that his earlier child traumas around sexual molestation were a
subsequent cause of his difficulty committing to a relationship.
Faith, conflict and contradictions. Participants who spoke of being sexually abused
within church contexts were deeply immersed in faith by either their individual or family
affiliation. The experiences of child abuse created greater inner conflict about what their sexual
identity meant in relationship to their faith and the teachings of their respective churches. The
fact that the experiences of abuse arose from individuals rooted in church contexts exacerbated
these inner conflicts. It would appear from my research that some faith-based organizations,
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originally founded to be places of love and acceptance for all, have in fact evolved into
organizations of religious dogma full of conflict and contradictions. Barry, in particular,
struggled as an adult with whether or not to report his experiences of sexual molestation. He
eventually reported his experiences to the authorities. Even after reporting the incident, he found
the need to reassure himself that this was the right decision.
Rejecting faith. Susan knew about sexual molestation occurring in Catholic churches,
and thought that priests were never made to face the consequences of perpetrating abuse on
others upon discovery of their crimes. Susan was aware of many abusive priests in her region of
Ethiopia, who were never held accountable for their actions. Rather, they were transferred from
one community to another when their actions were revealed. Susan stopped attending Church
when she immigrated to Canada. Her faith beliefs were shattered by what she knew about sexual
abuse in the Church. All but one participant spoke of continuing a relationship with God while
struggling as adults with how to rationalize and position their faith in context to their SGS
affinity. Barry, however, was the one participant who completely rejected his faith-based
upbringing, but struggled nonetheless to stay reasonably connected to his very religious family
members.
Undefinable sexual molestation. Susan had an experience with a Catholic religious
person in Ethiopia that left her feeling uncomfortable:
The Sunday church, we would go there, but I was also always the tallest kid. It was
interesting to me. The guy that was teaching us, he was up and coming to be a priest, but
he was an American guy. Still to this day, I can remember his look. His name, if I’m
correct, was [she names him]. For some reason, he would call me. He would always
single me out from the other kids. And I always felt uncomfortable, but I couldn’t say
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anything to my parents because it’s not that they wouldn’t believe me or anything, but as
I said where I was brought up those things are a shame, not something you talk about.
Then, he would call me, but he would call me in a different way.
While talking with her, it was not clear from what she said if he had molested her, so I probed
further with sensitivity and asked if he tried to molest her. Her response was:
He would call me always, you know the touching. It was interesting because I knew it
was wrong, but it was interesting. At the same time, he comes to our home. It was like
frequent. Whenever he was there I felt uncomfortable, I didn’t like his presence. I knew
something was wrong. When they sent him away, I was so happy because I said, okay,
he’s gone. Believe it or not, it happens at the place that we supposedly trust, or our
parents trusted, or it’s supposed to be safe. Those are the places that it’s happening, and
people have to live with it.
Non-Religious (but Religious Affected) Sexual Abuse
Samuel’s sexual abuse had not occurred in a religious context. His sexual abuse started
when he was approximately five years old. Samuel felt this experience contributed to significant
confusion around his sexual identity as an adult. Samuel believed he developed an early
attraction to men by virtue of the sexual molestation experiences he endured. Samuel’s
neighbour in Barbados had a grown son who had sexually abused him. At the age of 7, Samuel
recalled experiencing jealousy for the first time when he found his sexual abuser with a photo of
himself kissing a “White lady on the beach.” His molester admitted to him that she “was his
girlfriend, or he was hoping this would be his girlfriend.” Samuel said that he “tried to tear that
photo right up” and while only 7, he recalled feeling deep anger around this discovery.
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Over time, Samuel managed to talk about his sexual molestation experiences to a female
friend while he lived in Barbados. She said to him at that time: “You must have liked it. Why
didn’t you tell your parents?” Samuel was from a single parent household, raised by his mother.
As a child, he did not feel his mother would have listened to him or even believed him if he had
told her then about the sexual abuse. By the time the conversation with his mother took place,
Samuel’s mother had already discovered, on her own about his regular adult sexual activities
with men. Samuel’s mother was shattered to know that the sexual abuse happened to her son
“right under her nose.” She could not understand why he had never told her when it was
happening. Samuel had grown up in a very religious home with his mother a devout Christian.
His exposure to the heteronormativity of the religion he knew growing up could possibly have
left him feeling reluctant to tell his mother about his sexual abuse while it was happening to him
as a child.
In Tina’s case, the older child of a family friend had molested her when she was 10 years
old. She was living with her grandparents at that time, who were very religious and regular with
Church activities. Tina loved her grandparents dearly, but did not feel comfortable telling them
about the sexual abuse when it was happening.
Just like Samuel, it is possible that Tina’s exposures to the ideologies of religion, may
have left her also feeling reluctant to talk with her grandparents about the sexual abuse. Tina
never ended up telling her grandparents before they died. She also did not tell her mother
because of the feelings of abandonment she experienced from her mother leaving her behind in
Jamaica. In any event, Tina felt that had she remained in Jamaica, she “probably would have had
mental challenges or issues” resulting from this traumatic experience of child sexual molestation.
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I disclosed my own sexual molestation experiences to Tina, and I was deeply moved by the
depth of her own sharing similarly and the depression that she experienced as a result:
As you talk about all of that, I realize that it’s the sexual abuse compounded with moving
to Canada that really, really affected me… I was never really attracted to boys at an early
age. Then this man came, who was maybe ten years older than me, violated me. It
freaked me out… Even the fact of how it was done. Really violating, and it confused me
as I was growing up and being a teenager in Canada.
I admitted to Tina that my emotions were really coming out in this conversation because other
participants had also disclosed experiencing sexual molestation very early in life.
Hypocrisy in the House of a Heteronormative God
John felt that any disjuncture he felt around his sexual identity had to do with his spiritual
and religious upbringing in that he was taught it was a sin to engage in SGS. John and I
discussed later in the interview our awareness that many preachers who talked against SGS in the
pulpit were themselves secretly engaging in the act. This hypocrisy is now commonly known by
virtue of media exposure all across North America with regards to Catholic priests (and other
Church affiliations), where many clergy members have now been exposed as having engaged in
such activities.
John was raised in this type of insincerity, as myself, to believe that it was against God’s
law to be “homosexual or bisexual or whatever.” His internal struggle was more against the
precepts of religious dogmas than with his sexual identity. On the other hand, the only tension or
fear that Samuel recalled having on the issue of “gayness” was from Church gossip that relegated
gays to outsiders within the community. During this time before John moved to Canada, gay
culture was taboo due to the strong presence of religion. The fact that religious perspectives
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demonized gay (or SGS) behaviour is consistent across the findings. Identifying as gay or
lesbian was hidden at all costs by the majority of participants.
Facing religious hypocrisy. As a hobby and also an entrepreneurial initiative, Tina
writes books and stories on different topics. For Tina, in coming to terms with religion she was
also choosing to write about her life: “I’m actually thinking of writing a coming-out story and
interjecting all of it, because when I look at my current writing it talks about my journey through
coming out as a lesbian [how she self-identified during one period of her life]. All of these
things, the struggle with my mother, the struggle with religion, the struggle with everything.”
For me too, just like Tina, writing this dissertation is my own coming-out story, where I initially
struggled and deliberated for a long time with my choice of a research topic, before deciding to
do research in the area of sexual fluidity.
The presence of religious hypocrisy is evidenced across a wide geographic territory as
represented by the diversity of the participants for this research. Susan talked about a boy in
Ethiopia that cross-dressed. She shared that religious folks in Ethiopia “actually believe that you
basically have to go to church to be healed and that something is wrong with you.” Susan
elaborated:
They basically believe that your brain is not working. They feel that behaviour is not
normal and what God created is understood as one thing. Due to that, I don’t really go to
church. I don’t believe in hypocrites eh; I believe people have the right to live however
they choose to live, as long as you’re not hurting any other human being or yourself.
Ethiopia is … they’re a bit behind. And then, with this religion belief, it’s so deep,
because the majority are Orthodox. The rest are Muslim. They are extremely closeminded; very close-minded. Most of them [the women] are forced to marry their rapist.
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For many years, I too struggled with my own religious beliefs and I know that my religious
struggles were due to the influence of my molester. The priest in question is now deceased and I
learned about his death in December 2015, in the same week of receiving ethics clearance for
this research.
This Catholic priest was prominent in my local community in Jamaica. He was revered
by not only my parents but also others in the community. His behaviours towards me
contradicted the lessons that I learned both in Catholic Church and the Catholic school I attended
in my earlier years in Jamaica. The hypocrisy of his behaviours as against his words on the
pulpit baffled me and left me very confused for a long time. My experience and those of my
fellow participants of this study who were sexually molested within Church contexts faced
conflict and confusion that, to varying extents, affected our self-image, self-discovery, and selfacceptance throughout our lives.
Self-Discovery and Self-Acceptance
The confusion faced by participants who were sexually abused within the context of
faith-based organizations, found themselves on a complicated journey of self-discovery. This
journey, in turn, led to an eventual acceptance of themselves as TSFI. Mary talked about how
she struggled to rationalize her sexuality amidst her upbringing as a Jehovah’s Witness. Outside
of this dichotomy of sexual abuse and religion, participants also found themselves in a
continuum of increasing self-certainty by getting to know themselves better, over time. Donald
and John were, however, the exceptions. Donald expressed certainty, confidence, and selfassurance when he shared his experiences. In my interview with him he indicated that at no time
in his life was he ever apologetic or uncertain with respect to his sexual identity. He always had
certainty about himself and his sexually fluid identity.
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John also grew up within a strong faith based family. He had acceptance from family and
his wife and this resulted in a less arduous journey with regard to his self-discovery and selfacceptance. His wife and family members all knew about his SGS identity. All other
participants, however, faced the tensions of their SGS affinity with trepidation, confusion, and
uncertainty, and progressively came into the discovery and acceptance of themselves as sexually
fluid persons over time. It would appear that the culmination of the self-discovery and selfacceptance journey for participants came to fruition with the understanding that there was more
to SGS identity outside of the tripartite of the gay-bisexual-straight understanding. This tripartite
understanding has held a long history of stigmatization within North American contexts. In
having a different understanding of “the self” outside of this tripartite, most of the participants on
their self-discovery and self-acceptance journey managed to self-actualize to a strong place of
TSFI acceptance and comfort.
Theme: Identity Complexity
The word “identity” emerged numerous times across the findings. A strong inference
cannot be made here because the language of the research focused on “sexual identity” and, so it
was expected that this word would naturally occur frequently. The juxtaposition of the word
“identity” in other contexts of discussions deepened what emerged from the literature review:
that identity is a temporal construct. So many aspects of human identity are contextual and
contingent on internal and external factors.
As we progress in life and acquire more knowledge and experiences, our identities
invariably shift and change based on new understandings. This “shift and change” is
synonymous with the ebb and flow of what we have come to understand with respect to TSFI.
As a result, findings show that TSFI are complex with far reaching identities and contexts.
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Sexual Identity Complexity
Sexual identity complexity emerged consistently with the self-recognition of sexual
fluidity. Mary struggled with the recognition of herself as a SGS person and for a long time
avoided labelling her sexual identity. Mary and I talked about the different sexual identity
labels. She wanted to know if I labeled myself in any way. I told her that, “I honestly vacillate
sometimes. At times, I see myself as a heteroflexible, and at other times, I see myself as a
sapiosexual person (i.e., a person who is sexually aroused by or is attracted to intelligence in
another).” I even went further to say that I could not predict the future in this regard, and would
not preclude finding my fluidity moving towards a pansexual identity. In short, I am fluid and
open to any and all possibilities.
Complexities around sexual identity and how one can represent and understand one’s
identity is demonstrated in different ways across the findings of this research. For example, in
our conversations, Barry disclosed that he found he was more interested in having relationships
with women during the winter. During the summer, he found himself more interested in having
relationships with men. Prior to data collection for this research, I had no previous awareness of
“seasonal sexuality;” I had never considered or was exposed to this before.
Gender Identity Complexity
Taroh self-identified as a gender-neutral person. In preliminary email exchanges, he
explained his self-identification to me. He indicated that much of his awareness of his shifting
sexuality emerged for him while doing undergraduate research work in Japan. In these
introductory email exchanges, Taroh described himself in the following manner:
Let me describe the change in my sexual orientation first. I used to identify myself as
heterosexual until I was a third-year student at a university in Japan. Yet I gradually
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started to question my sexual orientation when I began my honour’s thesis in my senior
year because my research was about how pansexuality of the Japanese female-identified
pansexual student was perceived by her heterosexual friends and gay friends in the
university setting.
In another email exchange he continued to share that:
In the process of interviewing her gay and heterosexual friends [his research
participants], I had many moments to question my sexual orientation, and I came to think
that I might not be heterosexual. However, I have dated only one woman in my entire
life so far. I think I am attracted to women, but I do not care about the biological sex of
my potential partner. That is, I think that I am sexually attracted to the female gender. I
identify myself as “questioning” or “non-heterosexual.” However, my problem is, I am
not confident with my identification with the aforementioned categories of sexual
orientation because I have never dated male-to-female transsexual or transgender
individuals.
Taroh disclosed that he is sexually attracted to cisgender females, male-to-female transgender
individuals (transfemales), and intersex individuals. In spite of identifying as gender neutral, he
struggles with the use of a suitable pronoun to identify himself. Due to his lack of providing me
with a self-identifying pronoun, I write and reference him throughout this research as “he.”
Despite his nuanced sexual attractions, he still questions the scope and depth of these attractions
in light of the fact that he has had limited sexual experiences. Taroh does not care if his
“potential male to female transgender partner has a penis. No, I don’t mind that.”
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Lost Opportunities for Love
Tina was the only participant that learned about the one woman in my life, with whom I
had a romantic relationship, who knew about my SGS context. Tina and I shared a similar
history in that we both admitted to struggling “to commit” to another person, even when a
relationship was moving in a direction where it would have been natural to do so. I shared with
Tina my struggle “to commit” as she, too had a history of failure to commit in relationships.
Tina shared the following:
I cannot commit. I have done some work on myself, through questioning because a
relationship doesn’t work, is it me, is it my own issue with commitment? I have met some
wonderful women over the years, that loved me, but it just didn’t work. Why? Because I
was too afraid. I didn’t believe they loved me or that they wanted something from me
and that is stemming from trust. I’ve just started something; it’s a long distance
relationship. It’s different, my approach in it. I’m not rushing anything. It’s so different.
I’m allowing myself to be, I’m allowing myself to be present in the moment, and enjoy
what is and not put anything on it. Because if you put a label on it, I will run. If you tell
me you want marriage, I’m going to run. Even when I say I am going to commit, I still
step out of the relationship. I think at this stage of my life, I don’t think it has to do with
age, it’s just recognizing that there are some issues there.
Tina discussed her experiences in therapy, where she has since learned that in order to
grow away from this unhealthy pattern, she had to revisit her life when she was a child in
Jamaica when her mother left her with her grandparents:
I had to go to the 10-year old who was abused and say it’s okay; it’s not your fault. And
fight off people, fight off when I was a teenager, fight off men who tried to rape me.
That’s why I’m so strong. I realized all of that, I carry baggage, and its weight. Its dead
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bones; its bones you’re bringing into a relationship. When you can recognize what
you’re bringing in as your baggage, and recognize it and be conscious and aware of it,
then I think a relationship can work. I can take responsibility that if I get upset at
something, I know it’s coming from somewhere. Take responsibility for that kind of
behaviour, because where is it coming from? And examine why I behave the way I do.
Tina shared that she has slowly managed to find meaning for her life.
Complexities when Choosing Partners
John has been in a committed marriage with his wife, but admitted that over the years
there were a few instances where he “fooled around” with men but never to the point of serious
intimacy of going “the whole way, like have sex with a guy.” When we exchanged stories about
our different experiences in opposite and same gender contexts, he disclosed certain competing
tensions with regard to his emotions. He disclosed that there was a growing inner tension for
him, where he had found in all his experiences that sex was a stronger experience with men than
with women.
John admitted that sexual expression was a bit easier and more enjoyable for him with a
man because men were easier to please sexually. He told me he gradually discovered that he can
“let myself go and, enjoy it more because I find sometimes it’s pressured with a woman because
I think they expect so much. They expect because you’re a man, you are the one doing all the
work.” John went on to say that historically, in his experiences with women, “you have to make
sure that they come to climax, blah blah blah. I just think it is more pressure sexually with a
woman. That’s my experience.”
Barry and I commiserated that at times it was often just easier and less complicated being
with men than women. We talked about the fact that I tended to prefer being around men when I
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am feeling down. I also told him that, in the past I have had experiences of feeling depressed
and hopeless when in relationships with women due to not being transparent or honest about my
sexuality. This deliberation with Barry led to describing another complexity in the construction
of identity: the normative expectations of gender behaviour – in this case, masculine behaviour.
Masculinity
Perceptions and understandings of masculinity were determined from the data. I noted
the social construct around expectations of masculinity and maleness as a tension across the
literature I reviewed in preparation for this study. What denotes masculinity? How is
masculinity perceived and appreciated across cultures? This theme emerged from the data
collected.
John faced challenges during adolescence with the construct of masculinity. It was
common to call effeminate boys by girl names, even though this was not tied to a context of gay
bashing. Samuel also faced this tension as he was bullied in school for displaying effeminate
behaviour. John shared that on the first island he was teased in school for having what was
viewed as feminine traits: being “on the softer side” and not being “macho.” He was often
teased for not behaving in what was understood at the time to be “macho” masculine behaviour.
Taroh felt that his preference to identify as gender neutral was influenced by him having
no interest in athletic activities and because his phenotype was average. “Men should be macho,
masculine, manly.” In support of his gender neutral identification, he proceeded to express that,
in his opinion, he felt that his body was not in line with Western (Canadian) culture’s
expressions of the male gender. What was interesting for me was that Taroh in no way appeared,
acted, our sounded as anything but male and masculine. Yet, his feelings and thoughts with
regard to his visible gender construct conflicted in his own mind. The shared life experiences of
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Barry, Samuel, John, Taroh and I exemplify the difficulties many men experience in living up to
stereotypical macho expectations. The research for this study also indicates that immigration to
other cultures can also impact identity formation.
Immigration Experiences Affecting Identity
In examining the findings, one can see evidence where immigration seemed to ignite one
participant or another into exploring their SGS sexuality. Immigration events appear to have
initiated SGS sexuality awareness and discovery. There may have been indicators of John’s
sexual identity earlier in his life, but it was only when he moved to the other island in his teens
and experienced its more open gay culture that he started to understand himself as engaging in
both genders.
As previously discussed, John’s sexual identity shifted over his immigration journey. It
seems immigration had a lot to do with the development of John’s identity and that moving to
the other island helped him explore and connect more with his same-sex sexuality. Additionally,
it was through his life in Canada that he saw his identity as being acceptable and understood. He
experienced this acceptance from his Canadian peers as well as his family members. John makes
it clear, however, that this acceptance by his family members was unusual as an individual with
origins from the Caribbean diaspora.
Successes and failures. In discussing his successes and failures around his immigration
experience to Canada, John acknowledged that two of his successes were that he pursued further
schooling and was additionally a part owner of a home. After reflecting for a few seconds with
respect to failures around his immigration experiences, he could not identify any aspect of his
immigration experience as a failure. John also could not pinpoint how his sexual fluidity may
have had a negative impact in any way, with respect to his assimilation and adaptation into
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Canadian culture. As far as he was concerned, life was great. He further stated that, at the time,
his co-workers knew about his sexual identity and there were no concerns during his open
interactions with them. His friends from work often visited him at home and there were times
that he organized and hosted birthday parties for them. At no time did John feel that his sexual
identity impacted or impeded his life in Canada, nor did he feel it detracted from his coping as an
immigrant settling into Canada’s mainstream culture. This affirms John’s core belief and
“mindset that I am in Canada and it’s ok to be who you wanna be.”
This was not the case, however, for Samuel. When asked about his immigration
successes and failures, Samuel felt that he was not where he had hoped to be in life. He
experienced challenges as an immigrant, referencing his experience as a “tumultuous” refugee
process. Samuel further stated that:
My immigration experience was not a good one. It was not at all a pleasant one, and,
there were so many loopholes and I actually had a departure notice issued for me to leave
Canada at some point too during the whole process and I actually had to leave Canada
and return and all that. It was not a pleasant experience and I’ll tell you it was horrific
almost.
At the onset, Samuel anticipated his immigration journey “would have been a nice simple
process” that would have afforded him the opportunity to settle quickly in Canada as he moved
through the immigration process. He was anxious to start living his life, a life filled with hopes
and dreams. Unfortunately, there were numerous stumbling blocks along the way that included a
“failed [immigration refugee] hearing.” This was finally resolved in the year prior to the time of
his interview with me. He believes his difficult immigration processes had negatively impacted
his identity. In light of his challenging immigration processes, his life trajectory has not
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unfolded according to his expectations. He had hoped for more positive outcomes from his
immigration journey. In addition, he admitted that he is impacted even further in that he believes
he has to work twice as hard as his White coworkers do in his work environment, to meet
required expectations.
When I asked Samuel about his motivation to stay in Canada after such a tumultuous
immigration process, he shared that coming to Canada was better for his professional
development and career growth. He also felt that being in Canada would provide him more
access to education.
Mary also shared her immigration successes and failures. She shared her story with
sadness in her voice as she described her biggest failure with respect to her twenty-year-old
daughter. Mary expressed that she had not been able to empower her daughter with the right
tools to be more successful in life, and as a result, failed in teaching her the required life skills
for surviving in the world. Mary hopes to do better in this regard as she parents her newborn
baby.
Tina acknowledged that there were failures in her life with her immigration and
adaptation into Canada. She doesn’t consider them real failures; however, she feels she has
learned from her mistakes. According to Tina, “there is no elevator to success; it’s stairs that
you take. Success is so subjective.” With respect to these immigration failures in her life, Tina
shared the following:
The interesting thing is, I don’t see life as failing. Nothing that I do is failing. I had to
come to that resolution that I don’t fail, I just learn from my mistakes. I’ve tried different
businesses and it has failed, but I learned from it on how to do it differently the next time.
Tina’s positive outlook with respect to failures in her life has helped her to grow as an individual.
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Susan had very little recollection of her days as a child when she came to Canada.
Because of this, she had nothing to offer by way of details with regards to immigration successes
or failures. She transitioned directly into Canadian life at a very young age. I noted that Susan
spoke with a thick Ethiopian accent in spite of being in Canada for so long. Susan did not delve
into great detail about her early experience. She did hint, however, that her family’s immigration
context revolved around a refugee situation with respect to a war that had occurred in Ethiopia
many years ago. Out of respect for the boundaries Susan appeared to be establishing around this
topic, I chose to not inquire further. There was, however, significant learning and assimilation
for Susan in moving to Canada:
Well, that’s one thing I can tell you. Because coming here, I learned stuff, I wasn’t
taught back home, or even by my parents since moving to Canada. In Ethiopia, the
culture is very closed. You don’t talk about sex; you never see your parents kissing.
Basically, the culture down there, if there’s a person you like, they kidnap you, but they
don’t look at it as a kidnap. You take the girl and they will say, okay that’s her fiancé,
she will end up being married to the guy. But this guy is basically the rapist.
Susan admitted that she was very naïve in her early years when adjusting to Canadian culture.
She blamed this naivety to her Ethiopian culture and resultant upbringing.
As participants shared stories of their immigration experiences, I reflected on my own
story. Thinking back on my formative years in Jamaica, I always felt different. From my early
school years, I recall having feelings of shame and insecurity. These feelings lingered through
the experience of my initial immigration from Jamaica to the United States. My feelings of
shame and insecurity dissipated significantly by the time of my subsequent immigration from the
United States to Canada. Generally, my Canadian immigration experience has been good. It
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has, however, been somewhat difficult for me to discern the mainstream agenda of Canada’s
socio-political construct. The following section explores how a difference of time and place has
impacted identity formation for me and the other research participants.
Theme: Belonging or Not Belonging
All participants struggled with feelings of “belonging” and “connectivity,” in differing
ways. These feelings of belonging were overshadowed, however, by the complexity of an often
undisclosed SGS identity. Generally, John’s sense of belonging was very strong due to his
family and his wife’s acceptance of his whole identity. John stated that his wife “accepted me,
and loved me the same.” John’s wife was never judgmental nor “down about it.” She continued
to love him as he is.
Samuel feels more comfortable about his sexual identity in Canada. Despite this feeling,
he has experienced some level of negative behaviour toward same-sex people in Canada. As
such, he does not feel a sense of belonging in Canada. He stated, “I would not want to flaunt my
sexuality…but whether or not it has hindered or has been a positive thing to me, I cannot say
either way.”
In contrast, Mary feels very settled in Canada and has a strong sense of belonging to her
local community. She is confident and comfortable with her life and has no safety concerns.
When visiting Jamaica, however, she hesitates to disclose her sexuality out of safety concerns.
Feeling Different Around Other SGS
Taroh struggles to fit in with his local community. He is not comfortable at home. As a
result, he has not divulged his “questioning sexuality” to anyone. Taroh lives with four
university students in a house. It was clear that he was fearful about disclosing his sexual
identity. As a result, we had some scheduling challenges because he was concerned that his
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“roommates might overhear the contents of our interview since the walls of the house are pretty
thin. For my security, I do not want them to overhear the interview.” Notably, Taroh has not
disclosed his fluidsexuality to the LGBT social group to which he belongs or where he lives.
Taroh used the term LGBT throughout our conversation. In listening to him, however, I
was well aware that this term has expanded to LGBTTTIQQ (An acronym for lesbian, gay,
bisexual, transgender, transsexual, two-spirit, intersex, queer and questioning communities).
Taroh explained that members of the LGBT group were either gay, bisexual, or pansexual.
Others in this group assumed that he was either gay or bisexual. He has been afraid to clarify out
of fear of losing friendships from this group. Group members often quizzed him to know more
about his sexual identity, but he has been evasive. Taroh spoke about an experience that took
place during one of his LGBT community meetings where a few members pushed him for details
about his sexual identity. He admitted to me that he lied to them and told them that he was
bisexual when in fact he self-identifies as questioning.
It was clear that Taroh wanted to be a part of and feel accepted by this LGBT group. He
knew enough about group members to believe that his questioning identity and sexually fluid
identity would have been frowned upon by most, if not all, group members. I asked him what
was so special about the group, and why he fought so hard for their approval. His response was
that he appreciated the “racial diversity in our group” and this made it “fun to talk about
something different,” beyond what he was used to in regard to his Japanese culture. The time
and contexts he spent with this LGBT group were not authentic representations of himself.
Similarly, the time and contexts spent with his house mates were also not authentic
representations of who he is.
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Time and Context
The term “time and context” was frequently cited throughout the participants’ stories.
The words of this term were often used together or individually, and proved to be a significant
finding that contributed to the interwoven theme of sexual fluidity. From my own lived
experiences, I know that sexual fluidity is about changes and shifts. It is about being between
time, context and space. Sexual fluidity encompasses variety such as a new place of living,
change of seasons, and circumstances, to name a few. Barry’s explanation of “seasonal
sexuality” described in a previous section of this chapter is an example of this theme. Barry
shared that “I’m more like some kind of seasonal sexuality” and “when I’m single in the, let’s
say during the winter, I’m definitely into approaching women whereas, uh, when I’m single in
the summer I’m definitely into approaching men for sure.”
John’s experiences offer other insights. His multiple immigration experiences affected
his self-identity in several ways. For example, he referenced his “gay” times on the other island
in this way:
Because I remember in my, like my teens, early twenties, every Friday night we would
meet at this arcade, it would be a whole lot of us, just young guys, and that would be our
hangout spot. And, you know, people know, people would pass by and go, but nobody
would attack us, it was just safe, we just do what we do, you know, we hang out, we
laugh, we play games, all that whatever. And, um, one of the places we had was this
house one of our friends had, and it was owned by one of the ministers but I think he sold
it. A big house, so it was like our meeting spot on the weekends. So we spent weekends,
have parties all week, we always used to have parties. Parties, parties, parties and it was
just a very happy time in the 80’s and early 90’s.
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When I asked John to tell me what he knew about the term ‘sexual fluidity,’ he was unsure of his
understanding of the term, though he came into the interview self-identifying in this regard. As
the conversation continued, John said, “I figure it probably means being involved sexually with
more than one person. I could be wrong, I’m not sure.” He further stated, “it’s like flowing with
the vibe of how you feel and the circumstance.” As he continued to reflect, John added that “it’s
like a different part of your life” where you are “in different circumstances and in a different
place, so it can change.” It is clear from his responses that John understood the meaning of
sexual fluidity. John also alluded to the important role emotions and feelings play in
participants’ experiences of assimilation, and belonging along with feelings of safety in adjusting
to a new cultural environment. The notion of feeling safe in your SGS skin is explored in the
following section.
Safety and Belonging
In order to develop a feeling of belonging, certain basic needs must first be met. The
basic need for safety is a fundamental component of connectivity and belonging. Most of the
participants felt safer in Canada than in their countries of origin. In spite of this, however, there
was no evidence across the findings of an increased level of belonging after moving to Canada.
In the case of Samuel, and despite his overall feeling of safety in Canada, he has experienced
some level of negative behaviour towards SGS people in Canada. Samuel knew of gays who
were beaten in the city where he resides in Canada. He has also seen people hurling insults and
shouting expletives at cross dressers walking on the street.
Regarding safety concerns in his home country of Barbados, and with respect to SGS
activity, Samuel did not know of anyone being killed for behaving and publicly existing as a gay
person. He recalled a time when he lived in Barbados and saw women socializing with cross-
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dressers, hanging out and shopping together. In public settings, the local men would be negative
towards these cross dressers. In his own conversations with cross-dressers, Samuel learned that
some of these very same “straight” men would be secretly sexually engaged with cross dressers
at night and would often pay them for their time.
Mary visited Jamaica frequently for vacations. In responding to the question on her
feelings of safety concerning her sexual fluidity, Mary felt that Jamaica has developed an
increased level of acceptance for the gay lifestyle. She believed that social and mainstream
media have brought SGS issues more to the forefront and have created an increased level of
acceptance. Mary did not sense any levels of danger while growing up in Jamaica. Perhaps this
is due to the fact that her awareness of her SGS affinity happened after immigrating to Canada.
In Jamaica, however, Mary held safety concerns that were dependent on how much she showed
her sexuality publicly. Mary described herself as being very feminine. As a result, she
outwardly appears to be a heterosexual female when visiting Jamaica.
Taroh had never experienced safety concerns when he lived in Japan. He explained that
“I can assimilate in the majority and I can behave like a heterosexual. And I think that most of
my behaviours are similar to heterosexual. So, I don’t feel unsafe.” He spoke about a threat in
his prior professional environment if others were to know about his sexuality. He had learned
that “job security might be threatened because of your sexuality,” but not to the extent of which
one could be killed or physically harmed. Identifying as sexually fluid would label him as being
“different.” His job would be in jeopardy because this difference of sexuality could be viewed as
“breaking the harmony in” the work group.
Tina had not experienced any safety issues when on vacation visits to Jamaica. However,
she did share the following interesting anecdote about safety in Jamaica:
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When I go to Jamaica, I go with Canadian values, I realized that. And this false sense of
safety, I believe. I guess, in my consciousness if there is safety and I don’t believe that
I’m in danger, I don’t think you can be. I remember taking a cab and there was a woman
with me [sharing the cab]. You could tell that she was gay, if you want to throw a label
[on her]. Or, outside of the box of what a woman should look like. She got a lot of looks
[from everyone around]. Personally, I’m a woman and you cannot tell [from outward
appearances] that I engage in same-sex relationships.
The cab driver tried to hit on her, and she boldly said, “I don’t date men.” She said that she
spoke this out loud, “So don’t even bother, you’re not going to get my number.” When she and
the other woman got out of the cab, the other woman said to her, “How could you do that?
You’re putting me at risk. He knows where I live now, he probably knows I’m gay. He’ll
probably come back.”
Tina was disappointed in herself for not being sensitive to the culture in Jamaica:
The awareness wasn’t there for me. I think they treat you differently because you’re not
considered Jamaican, you’re considered a foreigner. I guess that means you have foreign
values. I don’t know what that means to them, that they’re not connected to me in that
way, so I’m excluded from this lash out or homophobic behaviour or attitude towards me.
But for people who live there, they know and they feel it. Because someone, even who
identifies as Jamaican-born, you don’t hear it and you don’t feel it. I didn’t, but they do.
Like I said, the value, I bring it there. I’m like, “I’m gay, what’s wrong with that?” I
have to be mindful, and mindful of who I’m with. This isn’t Canada. That’s what I
learned from being in Jamaica, with sexuality and homophobia. Is to be mindful of my
surroundings and who I am with.
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Tina went on to say that Jamaicans who are sexually fluid approach such a situation with a lot
more caution due to a fear for their lives. If she lived there, she would also be more cautious.
This contrast is clear in Canada, where things are different, and people are allowed to be who
they are, without fear of being physically hurt due to one’s sexuality.
Donald explained that SGS is taboo in Romania. His close family members are fairly
open-minded. For his extended family, however, it is very taboo. It was certainly not something
to bring up casually at the dinner table. With regard to safety concerns in Romania, there were
none as far as he experienced. He felt that the “threat of violence is extremely low” in Romania.
He went on to say that, “I think the threat of violence is extremely low in general, in the entire
country. No indication of potential violence and I’ve done my research because safety is really
important to me for my visits there with family.”
Most of the research participants either shared encounters when they experienced unsafe
situations or expressed fear or insecurity if their sexual fluidity became known. Safety is a
concern in communities, social groups, workplaces, and within families. SGS fears heighten the
need to raise awareness and acceptance of this identity moniker.
Family and Belonging
Feelings of belonging is significantly connected to family relationships in that family
associations emerged throughout the data. It was very interesting to note how relationships with
mothers, good or bad, were the thrust of “family associations.” Barry, Samuel, Tina and Susan
all struggled with relationships with their mothers.
The participants’ maternal relationships appeared to be an indicator of each participant’s
ability to represent himself or herself openly. John recalled a very telling experience with his
mother that occurred when he was living in Canada with a male partner. He and his partner
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visited his mother during Christmas. They both slept in the same room. Because of this, he felt
that his mother knew about his sexuality, but she never made it an issue. At this particular
Christmas, she said to them: “I don’t know what to give you guys for Christmas. Probably, I’ll
buy you a comforter and if you all break up probably you can cut it in half.” Although John was
accepted by his mother, they never openly spoke about his sexual identity. John indicated in our
conversation that in a way, this comment was his mother’s only instance of ever alluding to his
sexuality.
At another point in time when John lived in Canada, he went to visit his aunt in New
York. His male partner at the time accompanied him. John elaborated:
We both stayed in the same house and they knew, but they loved me the same so I never
had … I never feel like shunned by family. All my friends were the same … and even
my straight friends they love me the same.
John went on to say that he was well aware that some of his other friends were often depressed
because of family situations. Fortunately, he never had that experience.
Family disassociations. In reflecting on my conversation with Samuel, I wondered if
finally telling his mother in his thirties about the sexual abuse was almost his way of trying to get
acceptance from her about his SGS context. Perhaps, he may have felt that this was the only way
his mother could justify his SGS interest. These reflections left me curious to know if certain
parents are more accepting of SGS interactions when there is a history of sexual abuse. Future
research on the topic of sexual fluidity can include this aspect of parental relationships.
Prior to learning about her son’s sexual molestation, Samuel’s mom asked him why he
chose this lifestyle. In turn, Samuel said he responded to her that: “I don’t think I chose it. I
think it was chosen for me.” When his mother asked him to explain, he detailed to her his
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experiences of sexual molestation. Samuel felt that his mother approached the topic negatively.
This progression led me to wonder had Samuel not been abused as a child, would he have still
been interested in SGS? Samuel said his mother could not understand why he had never told her
when it was happening. In explaining to her his fear of not being believed, he admitted that his
mother was quite shaken by this knowledge.
Samuel shared with his mother that his molester also molested his two sisters. His
mother subsequently approached his sisters who, in turn, confirmed that this had happened to
them as well. Unfortunately, Samuel’s mother was oblivious to the evidence of trauma in her
children’s lives.
Maternal disassociation. Tina recalled that she suffered from culture shock after
moving to Canada and the transition had caused depression for her, as she tried, even at such a
young age, to assimilate into this new culture. Tina’s mother had not recognized the effect of
culture shock that Tina had faced in moving to Canada.
Tina struggled all throughout her childhood to build a connection with her mother – so
much so, that the struggle remained and is still present in their current mother-daughter
relationship. After all these years Tina was, unfortunately, unable to make a nurturing
connection with her mother. Tina talked about “the struggle with my mother” and how notions
of mothering positioned her into a mothering role throughout her life: “I was never a follower,
always a leader in everything that I did,” Tina stated:
Even in my household and my mother being the leader, I was still a mother. I mothered
her, and I never got mothered in return. I think it really damages you, even at this age,
because I think I look to a relationship to be mothered somehow. But, even when it is
happening, I don’t know how to receive it. I’ve become the mother again. I think with
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this [current] relationship that I’m guarded so much, it’s that I’m recognizing I can’t
mother, I can’t rescue anymore. I need to rescue me. I need to finally just rescue me,
and mother me. And then that extension [of what is] left over I can give to someone else.
Tina felt that she had a “mothering addiction,” and had recently managed to find ways of setting
boundaries with how much of herself she offers to others in her life with respect to her
“mothering addiction.”
Susan also had a disconnected relationship with her mother. She repeatedly said, “I was
so dumb. I didn’t know anything back then.” Discussions about sex and her womanhood did not
take place with her mother or family members, to the point that even when she got pregnant she
had no awareness of how babies were born. At the time, she thought that giving birth perhaps
involved:
…the child coming out through my mouth or my stomach, because I knew my mom had
us through her stomach. Still she didn’t teach me or explain it to me. My child’s father,
he’s from Jamaica. He knew I was naïve. He knew I was very naive, I didn’t know, I
was so dumb. My pregnancy, when the water broke, I didn’t understand. I said, “I’m
sorry I peed on the bed.” Again, it wasn’t explained. No one explained to me, I learned
through my sisters, through friends some things about sex. Even one of my friends, she
tried to teach me how to have sex. I was the dumbest. That’s why I said culture is so bad
because in Ethiopia they don’t teach you a lot of stuff. Back home, at sixteen years old,
they’re not knowledgeable, especially in the countryside. It’s changing, because of TV
and cell phone technologies open throughout the world, but when I was there those things
weren’t available. Yes, we had a TV but even the kids, when my parents would watch,
we had to be out of the room.
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Fear and shame. The stories of the research participants exemplify the shame and fear children
feel in reporting to their parents about any sexual abuse they may have endured. Sexual abuse
has long-lasting effects, and will often come into play when abuse victims struggle to understand
and accept their sexual identity. This struggle will always be present for an abused person
whether they are in fact gay, straight or sexually fluid. The emotional trauma of sexual abuse as
described herein can be devastating for any individual, but particularly so for someone who finds
themselves questioning their sexual identity.
Not Belonging and Feeling Unsettled
Mary admitted that the first year of her experience with same-sex relationships, leading
up to her full acceptance of herself, was the hardest emotional years of her life. She explained
that:
Every time I had an encounter, I felt dirty. I felt like something really horrible had just
happened. I felt so bad. I felt ashamed. I cried and told myself it will never happen
again. And then, you know…it wouldn’t happen for a while and then it goes back
to…recurring again, happening again and I would keep on doing the same thing over and
over.
Something ignited in her one day where she:
…looked at [my]self in the mirror and I said, I love myself and I have to put myself first
and, if the God we so praise and love, hates me then so be it. I have to start loving
myself. I’m on this earth for a reason. And if I have to hate myself it doesn’t make any
sense.
This was a turning point for Mary and the moment in which she decided to fully embrace her
sexual fluidity.
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Emotional disjuncture. I found it difficult emotionally and psychologically as a child
and as a young adult to understand my sexual identity. I believe this state of difficulty was due
to the molestation I had experienced earlier in my childhood. As a result, I experienced feelings
of depression and hopelessness as a child and teenager. My emotions were in every direction as
a child and teenager, and it was this disjuncture that ignited my desire and eventual plans to leave
Jamaica for the United States. Religion and Church meant so much to me, but I had experienced
so much confusion in Church while practicing the religion I was taught. It has only been
recently (perhaps two years prior to this research), that I managed to have conversations with
certain family members and friends about the abuse, confusion, and depression I suffered. For
me and for several of the research participants, it took many years to share our stories and
identities with loved ones.
My last discussion point with Samuel focused on whether his sexuality difference left
him with feelings of hopelessness, depression, helplessness, sadness, or aloneness. Samuel’s
response resonated with me deeply. Samuel said the “feelings I had that surrounded” those kinds
of emotions “would have been in Barbados because of my [sexual] molestation” experiences.
He endured these types of feelings for most of his life in Barbados because he kept the pain of
his sexual molestation a secret, not discussing it with anyone until later in his life. He felt “like I
didn’t choose this;” yet, “this was done to me and I found that I was never the winner in the
whole process.”
At one point I thought that I could not finish the interview with Samuel without allowing
my own emotions to come forward. I had to work very hard to maintain a distance as the
researcher. I would say that my learned behaviours of covering, passing and code switching
(CPC behaviours), helped me to successfully avoid breaking down in tears at this juncture in the
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interview with Samuel. As I heard Samuel in this moment of the interview, what I felt were his
feelings of tension as to whether he was genuinely interested in SGS or whether his
circumstances of sexual abuse caused him to be this way. All his life Samuel felt different and
did not feel like he belonged. Taroh also did not feel a sense of belonging, but his experience
around these feelings were different.
Taroh’s feelings regarding his lack of belonging created an anxiety for him with respect
to his questioning identity and how this would limit his options with respect to dating in Canada.
With respect to my questions to him about any feelings of depression or sadness surrounding his
sexual identity, Taroh had nothing to say in this regard. His primary feelings of sadness seemed
to stem from his concern of losing his friends in the LGBT group if he were to disclose his
fluidsexuality status.
SGS Disjuncture: – Where Do We Belong?
This research revolves around the experiences of individuals who identify within the
parameters of non-heteronormative sexual expression. The literature, as well as the data
collected showed that SGS falls outside of the tripartite (straight, gay, bisexual) hegemony. The
data and the literature also showed that male to male and female to female SGS understanding is
also a limited position of knowledge. The notion that SGS expression only involves male to
male and female to female expressions is a restricting and outdated understanding. Taroh’s
stories certainly depict this clearly as a gender neutral person who is generally attracted to
transfemales or cisgender females.
Sexual fluidity does not appear to fit very well within the framing of the LGBTQ agenda.
The fact that I had no success finding participants for this study through my contacting LGBTQ
community centers is quite telling. As previously mentioned in this dissertation, TSFI avoid the
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LGBTQ context and, quite often, self-identify and publicly identify as heterosexual where their
SGS expression is contingent on time, place, and circumstance. John never felt the term ‘gay’
fully described his sexual identity and was very excited to develop his own understanding of
sexual fluidity. He was eager to hear and learn about other sexual identities within the sexually
fluid spectrum and quickly self-identified with the label “heteroflexible,” shortly after being
introduced to the term.
Ambiguity and difficulty. The ambiguity of sexual fluidity and the lack of consistent
language has made it impossible to create a neat and tidy sexual identity box for TSFI. Taroh is
a perfect example of this ambiguity because he identified as “questioning” and he saw himself as
being sexually fluid but in a different way from all the other participants. Taroh was different
because he was only attracted to transfemales and not to males. Donald admitted that his sexual
fluidity impacted his dating context:
It makes dating a little bit more difficult. Other than that, it’s just another thing. I figure
other people have other issues that impairs their dating life, and this is one that impairs
my dating life. I’m sure we all have each of those. I’m quite content with it. Because
the longest relationship that I’ve ever had was three years, I was thinking about it the
other day, would I be able to engage in a completely monogamous relationship with
either sex? I don’t know if I could. When I was dating and I was monogamous, I didn’t
feel the need to cheat or do anything like that. Would that stop me from doing it in the
future? I don’t know, and that’s sort of scary, a little bit. To be honest with you, I’m also
of the personal conviction that we, as human beings, aren’t intended to be monogamous.
Donald and I agreed that sexual fluidity is often misunderstood, in that a sexually fluid persona
can be seen as being unable to commit monogamously to a female or male. As such, I
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mentioned to Donald that in living my own life, historically, I disclosed my sexual fluidity on a
need-to-know basis. Donald responded by saying:
How very interesting that you say that because I sort of feel the same way. If someone
will ask me about it, I’m not going to be dishonest about it. I don’t feel the need to bring
it up; it’s not something that necessarily identifies me. Does that make sense to you? I
haven’t had a chance to talk to anyone about this because it’s not something that I talk
about with my barber. Very, very interesting to hear you say that because it really isn’t
something that I’d casually bring up in conversation. I have talked about it with friends
and close family, if they asked about it I wouldn’t be dishonest, but it’s not something I’d
bring up randomly.
Donald agreed with me that the gay culture was likely the primary place to engage in SGS
because it was easy to do so within that community. He shared his belief that “it’s probably the
only place that is a little bit more accepting, and approaches this type of environment [of sexual
fluidity] with a bit more of an open mind.”
Donald and I commiserated, however, on the fact that even the gay community, which is
the pivotal context of SGS, is often polarized against any other same-sex identities outside of the
dominant gay construct. I stated that this polarization often frowned on the notions of sexual
fluidity. Donald concurred:
I totally get that. Over the years, I’ve tended to disassociate myself with those types of
individuals, whether they are family members, friends or former friends. I don’t have
space for negativity around me. It’s just not something that I have time for. I’m busy
enough as it is, with my work and friends and gym and research, and I’ll be heading into
teaching at the University level in June; I don’t have time for anything that would make
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me feel uncomfortable. If I feel uncomfortable it’s going to derail me and I don’t want
that.
Donald and I both felt that “that all humanity is inherently sexually fluid.” Just as with the other
participants, I felt that my personal struggles were validated as Donald and I exchanged TSFI
common experiences.
Reflection
My research focus in my first year of doctoral courses was initially in the area of legal
technology (information governance and e-Discovery). At the onset, I decided to develop adult
learning expertise by way of a doctoral degree, to do future work in the area of corporate training
and development around information governance principles. My initial research focus in legal
technology had been designed to explore change management theories around professionals’
adjustment to and resistance to change. This change was in relation to developing a go forward
paradigm best suited for working effectively as knowledge workers within the ever-evolving
changes around legal technology.
While my background was primarily law firm focused, with a six year period of adjunct
(sessional) teaching work at a university, I knew from my knowledge of legal technology that a
new go forward paradigm with respect to technological utilization was essential not only for law
firms but also for academic and corporate contexts as well. I still feel that a deeper exploration
and examination of corporate structure, would allow for effective changes around the efficient
use of technology, that could lead to greater corporate level efficiencies. My law firm employer
at the time when I began this doctoral journey was intended to be my research area where data
was to be collected for this examination and exploration around law firm change management
with respect to technological utilization. Life happened and the original research plan changed at
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the end of my first year of doctoral work. Legal technology utilization was not going to be my
doctoral research area, due to a layoff and restructuring at my then place of employment. In this
phase of the doctoral journey changes had to be made, and a decision for the way forward had to
be solidified within a reasonable time, or I would have needed to take a leave of absence from
my doctoral program.
Cohort Support from Fellow Doctoral Classmates
The other cohort members of my doctoral program had all by now come to know me very
well. They were supportive and made themselves available to me during this difficult period. I
had a short window of time to make a decision. I struggled for a long time to determine where to
focus my research work within the sandbox of adult learning. Numerous conversations with
friends, cohort members, and my eldest sibling led me towards the decision to take the courage
to tell my personal story in this tell all way. I have since presented excerpts of my dissertation
work at a number of conferences across Canada, and the validation, support and recognition of
this work as being important, has left me feeling that this decision was justifiable in more ways
than one. It was justifiable as a means of personal healing and self-development but was also
justifiable as it allowed me to craft the means for a stronger fusion of all my identity layers. This
fusion has culminated in the recognition of my talents and abilities around diversity
management, change management and a heightened understanding of human complexity by way
of the knowledge derived from my doctoral work journey.
It was quite a journey to come to an understanding of myself as a TSFI. I have since
found significant meaning and purpose for my life from the knowledge that I have gathered
unilaterally from all my lived experiences. This knowledge has allowed me to develop a high
level of tenacity for both my legal and academic contexts. This level of tenacity, comfort and
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confidence had not yet been attained prior to embarking on my doctoral research work around
TSFI. I have come to find that my complex multi-layered and fluid identity has allowed me to
be at ease with initiatives around diversity management, change management, creativity, and
innovation. My lived experiences as a TSFI have been brimming with underlying elements of
diversity, change, creativity, innovation and easy adaptation throughout all the different phases
of my life. All these elements have allowed me to fuse all my life experiences to craft a distinct
life legacy full of meaning and purpose.
The lived experiences and the stories of TSFI people offers awareness for many lives that
are different. TSFI strive to discern who they will become as individuals and how their identity
will take shape over the course of their lives. A universal recognition of fluid sexual identities as
normative can aid with the development of healthy self-acceptance and a sense of belonging in
Canadian communities. This sense of belonging is a premise from which to nurture social,
spiritual, physical, emotional, and intellectual supports that confirm the lives of TSFI people
within our communities. A more inclusive pedagogy around TSFI difference has the capacity to
offer greater acceptance of TSFI people by the straight and LGBTQ communities. A more
inclusive pedagogy has the further capacity to offer greater acceptance for every layer of
difference that exists far beyond common hegemonic perspectives and homogenous comfort
zones.
The diversity from this TSFI societal cohort must no longer remain in silence, instead it
should be explored and celebrated as part of the fabric of our communities. Diverse
communities are a fodder for creativity and innovation. A diverse world is an exciting world that
allows for opportunities and greatness to emerge, from places and contexts where they could
have never been imagined had there been no diverse perspectives to draw from. The
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aforementioned proposed TSFI pedagogy will also allow for an ongoing dialogue around
immigration reform arising from the TSFI experience as an integral component of Canadian life.
The diverse themes that emerged from this research are indicative of knowledge development
that is important for all walks of life.
Summary
TSFI immigrants make best efforts to assimilate and adjust their identities, where a lack
of knowledge of TSFI lives exists within our different Canadian communities.
In this chapter, I provided findings and themes as gathered from the data collected from
eight participants and myself. The overarching themes from this research were (1) Religious
Tension; (2) Identity Complexity; and (3) Not Belonging.
In Chapter Five, I explore the recommendations and implications of TSFI knowledge for
our communities.
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CHAPTER FIVE:
DISCUSSION, IMPLICATIONS, AND RECOMMENDATIONS
Canada’s mainstream culture is built on a historically binary existence amidst a very real,
but quiet, presence of fluidsexuality. Many of the different sexual identities within this space of
fluidsexuality are often hidden and seldom publicly discussed due to a lack of vocabulary and a
fear of isolation as a result of related politicization. This autoethnographic research began with a
review of literature that barely touches on the different contexts of same gender sex (SGS) within
the spectrum of fluidsexuality. This place of fluidsexuality has been explored across the
literature and has been found to be lacking. This paucity in the literature, however, did provide
an initial foundation for this research. This, coupled with interviews expounding on the lived
experiences of the eight participants and myself, provided an in depth perspective around the
diversity within transcultural contexts of sexual fluidity.
Discussions around SGS vis-à-vis gay and queer cultures have been traditionally
premised against the backdrop of either queer theory or intersectionality theory, but neither of
these theories are a fit for the ebbs and flows of fluidsexuality. In the same way that language
had to be designed throughout the discussions of this dissertation, it was also necessary to design
a suitable theoretical lens for examining this nuanced context. This was necessary to provide the
reader with a deeper understanding of TSFI’s lives and their positioning in our communities,
hence the earlier justifications for the use of BL theory.
In this chapter, I provide an overview of the research study, a discussion of the findings,
the significance for this research study, research implications, contributions to research, and
recommendations for future research. A reflexivity section of my research experience is also
included, followed by concluding remarks.
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Overview
Sexual fluidity is a useful sandbox for exploring the multiple ways individuals are located
sexually within our communities. This study uses a fusion of borderland theory and liminality
theory (BL theory) as a lens to provide a deeper understanding of individuals within
fluidsexuality who have, for the most part, been invisible in our communities. This invisibility
results from a fear of rejection by those who uphold those pillars and standards of social norms
that do not make enough room in our world for difference. There is an ebb and flow to a
community’s culture where immigration and education can have a direct impact on the
dynamism of a community’s fluid constructs. The whole notion of community fluidity is
exemplified by travelling, where quite often individuals will make efforts to travel to different
communities in locales that may be more in line with an individual’s worldviews. Often we live
in communities that reject some, or even all, of our individual values and life perspectives. For
example, some men and women who are secretly SGS and live heteronormative lives when at
home in their communities will, at times, choose to explore the other layers of their sexual
identity by engaging openly or freely with SGS sexual expression when travelling away from
their family and home community.
As I prepared to write this closing chapter, a friend shared his awareness of an individual
that was shunned by his community for allegedly being gay. In reality, this individual was a
victim of sexual abuse. SGS and any other form of sexual expression was prohibitive for him
due to the trauma and mental condition resulting from his earlier abuse experience. Individuals
in his community passed judgment by labelling him as gay by virtue of their assumptions that he
was gay, merely because he acted differently. He was a loner who preferred social interactions
with select females. This loner behaviour as it was described to me, was not surprising in my
mind, because of the sexual molestation he experienced by an adult male. In reality, however,
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this was a confused individual who had not yet developed a full understanding of himself. This
individual was relegated by the aforementioned community to a sexual identity positioning that
may or may not have been accurate.
Catholic Church
As attempts are made to reduce sexually transmitted diseases through education, we can
also attempt to reduce stigmas surrounding TSFI with a rejuvenated pedagogy that teaches about
fluidsexuality within religious, academic and political circles. The Catholic Church, through
which sexual abuse proliferated for years in many of its dioceses, lacks teachings about the
various expressions of non-heteronormative sexuality that are vital for clergy to study and
understand. Many of the priests who have been discovered or exposed as sexual abusers may be
the epitomy of this sexually fluid context that has been explored in this dissertation. The
Catholic Church, as do other established religious organizations, has a duty to preserve lives, and
so a broader appreciation for difference in its dogmas needs to be inserted globally throughout
the Church.
Celebrating Diversity
There is work to be done in our communities to reduce the need for individuals to hide
stigmatized identities. Religious and governmental agencies can help by always advancing
acceptance and awareness of all types of differences, and by teaching diversity early on within
our communities. It is not enough just to recognize the diversity, what is needed is an increased
understanding and an increased celebration of nuanced lives of diversity. Celebrating diversity
allows for a rejuvenated learning towards acceptance where all are regarded from birth with
minds that are open and free. A free mind is one where creativity and innovation are sought out
within communities.
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Those with SGS identities within the Catholic Church could perhaps be increasingly
elevated to a level of appreciation and positive visibility beyond what currently exists in our
communities. The Catholic Church is a powerful entity around the world and it can help with
instituting educational policy changes on the topic of TSFI.
Hypocrisy
Over the years, there has been a great deal of hypocrisy from numerous political leaders
(referring specifically here to the United States). Many politicians have a long-standing history
of engaging in SGS, but have publicly condemned others for the same actions they have been
caught engaging in at points in their public lives. It is difficult to trust our political leaders when
they publicly condemn acts in which they themselves secretly engage. This state of affairs is
sad. Though it falls outside the scope of this dissertation and is a subject for a deeper
examination and discussion, its relevance is nonetheless apropos for stating here in this overview
of the concluding chapter. The following section of this chapter presents what I learned from the
participants about their lived experiences as TSFI.
Thoughts about SGS Expression
This research study explored the lived experiences of sexually fluid immigrants across
Canada (who have been classified in this research as TSFI). The findings point to the fact that
Canada’s multicultural landscape contains differing variations of SGS expression. The words
gay and queer are appropriate and relevant understandings, but are limited language descriptors
for all SGS identities. Initially, I was inclined to say “all who engage in” SGS, but I refrained
intentionally from stating it in this way. I did so because I know from my own lived experiences
that while action does speak louder than words, thoughts also can speak louder than actions.
This is a reference to the many heteronormative appearing individuals who may not have
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engaged in SGS sex but have fantasized about it in their own minds even while engaging in
opposite gender sexual expression with their partners.
Casual Encounters (Craig’s List)
Ward’s (2015) research about straight White men who engage with each other on the
Craig’s list casual encounters online platform offers insight into the element of fantasy and nonheteronormativity resident within heteronormativity. In this open online platform – which is
primarily used for offering business services, such as apartments for rent and used cars for sale –
one can find this casual-encounters location filled with advertisements by straight individuals
and other sexual types. On this site individuals post their thoughts and desires for acting out and
meeting up with other sexually fluid type identities for SGS exploration and living out related
fantasies (Ward, 2015).
Activism
To relegate the variations and locations of sexual identities within humanity to the
confines of the tripartite of heterosexuality, homosexuality or bisexuality is an inaccurate
representation of the true reality. Furthermore, varied life cultures and understandings across
transcultural spaces makes the tripartite understanding an even greater inaccurate representation
of the sexual identity spectrum within Canada, moreover the world.
The old adage of “say what you mean and mean what you say” is the typical double edge
sword that points to the complexities of sexual fluidity. This complexity is a double entendre of
different meanings, understandings, and expressions across transcultural spaces steeped in
multiculturalism. As such, the culture of sexual fluidity is an arena for themes of stigmatization,
marginalization, oppression, and politicization. These themes look significantly different under
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the lens of queer theory – or even intersectionality theory. The social movement agenda of TSFI
is subtle and reasonably quieter in contrast to other types of SGS social movements.
Not all social movements of change or activism need to be “loud and proud.” Activism
can be a movement that is also experienced as a quiet storm brimming with soft power skills and
subtle approaches that are staged behind quiet tenacity and sharp prowess. These approaches
against stigmatization and marginalization emerging from the lives of TSFI can be just as
effective as militant activist agendas. I recall one conference presentation where I presented an
excerpt of my work and a lesbian attendee brought me to task on the fact that my work was
interesting and relevant but too passive.
Language
Language is limited within the SGS context and individuals in the fluidsexuality
spectrum are struggling to find the right descriptors to clarify their nuanced contexts. Much of
this context is deeply nuanced by virtue of the transgender and gender conforming movements
(gender fluidity). The underpinnings of gender fluidity are extremely pertinent as to its
positioning within fluidsexuality. The scope of this dissertation does not allow for a deeper
examination of the nuanced and added multiple locations around gender fluidity and gender nonconformity. In keeping with the spirit and awareness around narrow focus parameters for this
research, it would not be reasonable to expand on the sexual fluidity sensibilities that arise from
gender fluidity and gender non-conformity. Giving justice to these non-binary locations, would
require a separate, additional project focusing primarily around the related complexities of sexual
fluidity as it relates to gender fluidity and gender non-conformity.
Taroh’s stories of gender neutrality as inserted in this dissertation exemplifies and teaches
of this further nuanced location in sexual fluidity, and stands as a lesson to even myself: that
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SGS expression falls outside the confines of cisgender SGS understandings. As such, a deep
expansion into the realms and understandings of sexual fluidity, by virtue of the transgender
movement and gender non-conforming movements, requires a separate research examination.
Multiple Locations
The cross-cultural understandings of SGS, alongside the multiple locations of sexual
fluidity arising from immigration, makes for an interesting observation of Canadian life beyond
the tripartite understandings of sexuality. While Ward’s (2015) work on SGS within the context
of White masculinity was focused on American demographics, her work is, nonetheless, quite
relevant for Canadian populations as well. In short, Ward’s research pointed to the fact that SGS
is resident in multiple locations within the hegemonic and imperialistic power that has been long
known as White masculinity and the resultant privileges arising from this location. White
masculinity provides a level of power and privilege that lends for a different treatment of SGS as
lived by White “straight” males versus how it is lived by Black “straight” males. The
aforementioned statement is premised on the understanding that “straight” is representative of
the visible cultural context that contains nonetheless differing degrees of SGS that is contingent
on context and circumstance. White males receive a better regard towards their engagement in
SGS as compared to Black males, who are treated differently in their non-gay engagement of
SGS. Black males are relegated to being gay, deviants, or confused when their SGS form of
sexual expression is discovered or disclosed (Ward, 2015).
The White jock masculine heteronormative identity is steeped with SGS expression in
fraternities and the military, as well as in ideologies such as “boys will be boys” (Ward, 2015, p.
21) and “bros before hoes” (Ward, 2015, p. 47). In light of these ideologies, expressions of
difference, nuanced communication, and socialization in virtual and real spaces, it makes for a
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challenging cause to be authentic in social spaces (virtual or otherwise). These different
positionings regarding sexual expressions are not promoted enough in adult learning, and as
such, makes it difficult for individuals to live authentic lives with each other as they navigate
marriages, relationships, friendships, and even careers.
This difficulty in social spaces is even challenging within the TSFI context because it is
oftentimes difficult to understand and ascertain another’s sexual positioning when meeting in
social capacities. Who we claim to be, and who we actually are, are not always in sync. It
requires a sharp eye and an experienced mind to navigate these complexities. Covering, passing,
and code switching (CPC behaviours) allow TSFI to have successful navigational and social
skills, but CPC behaviours, unfortunately, do not lend themselves well to living authentically
within communities that stigmatize instead of celebrate difference. As such, adult learning is a
ripe landscape for the underpinnings of this dissertation and its findings as presented in Chapter
Four.
Knowledge – Adult Learning and Child Learning
Adult learning is an experience of knowledge development that is personal and occurs
within the learner. The probability is high that in a given demographic group of adult learners,
there is a lack of awareness around this nuanced spectrum of fluidsexualities. Adult educators
may lack knowledge in this area, and in so doing fail with the required sensibilities for creating
an inclusive learning community that celebrates diversity within all the multiple locations that
exist. Adult learning is a niched area in and of itself, but adult learning is a springboard of “child
learning” and so the work of developing knowledge around fluidsexuality should also occur at a
very early age.
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Teaching a child at home about sexual fluidity is a difficult undertaking when the
school’s curriculum enforces the binary understanding of sexual expression. If the school in
question is designed on a binary premise, it will then be challenging for conversations about
fluidsexuality to take place in the students’ homes because of the different understandings and
the lack of adequate language to describe the many forms of sexual fluidity. I think about my
own daughter here, who is taught on a binary premise. Engaging her at home on a different
paradigm of sexual education (alongside what is being taught in school) as it relates to the reality
of fluidsexuality, is not impossible, but at the very least confusing for her at this stage in her life.
Adults learn behaviours and thinking from an early age. Additionally, I know from my
childhood experiences and from my parenting that children in the tween and teen stages can be
extremely mean to each other. It is my belief that these mean behaviours do not inherently come
solely from the children themselves, but instead from what they see and learn from the adults
around them. For example, a child of a gay couple is highly unlikely to bully a gay schoolmate
because this child has learned early on that their SGS parents love them unconditionally. As
such, it is unlikely that this child of a gay couple would want to see their parents bullied just for
being gay.
It is important for adult educators in a go forward paradigm to increasingly nurture
learning spaces of awareness that fluidsexuality is real, relevant, and a normal part of life. For
example, very seldom does a professor (or teacher) use two men or two women as an exemplar
for domestic and family life. It is important for students or children to learn about SGS in all its
multiple locations, just as it is important for them to learn about other races and cultural contexts
in social studies classes. If this knowledge was gained early in life, individuals would be
sensitized to SGS differences alongside gay and queer differences. In knowing this, when
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individuals see two men holding hands in friendship or two women kissing, there is less need for
fear or negative reactions in public spaces. Additionally, this deeper level of knowledge will
make for healthier heterosexual relationships where fixed sexual identities can navigate social
spaces and connect with anticipated partners within a context of truth when armed with greater
knowledge and awareness of the others’ sexual identity.
An understanding of the differences regarding sexual fluidity is important for a diverse
political landscape. The differences and varieties of sexual identity should be taught at all levels
of education. For example, Afro-Canadian school children very rarely get enough validation in
school with knowledge about African (or even Afro-Canadian) history and culture. For the most
part, the only aspect of difference that Afro-Canadian children experience in mainstream
schooling is the difference that is taught around aboriginal history and related experiences. The
teaching of difference in Canadian schools has room for improvement. An increased educational
diversification across all provinces, to educate beyond the aboriginal contexts of difference and
into all the different transcultural contexts of difference within Canada’s rippling landscape of
multiculturalism, could perhaps build more transcultural bonding within our communities.
Positive growth with respect to Canada’s true national identity is prohibitive unless all realms of
difference are taught earlier in schools.
Research Implications
Research around SGS and sexual fluidity has historically focused around the tripartite
identities of homosexual, heterosexual and bisexual. Additionally, research around sexual
fluidity has traditionally focused on cisgender women, with a notable gap that addresses sexual
fluidity around cisgender males. The transgender movement and the emergent understandings
around gender fluidity makes it important for our communities to learn more about
128
fluidsexuality. Binaries have been the hegemonic construct across national and transcultural
spaces, but this is an outdated construct within virtual and physical social spaces. Social spaces
have now exploded with alternative social frameworks, understandings, and self-identifications,
particularly so within the younger (Millennia) demographic of our communities. These
alternative social frameworks are minimally publicized or woven into the fabric of mainstream
society. Alternative social frameworks are advancing non-binary perspectives in other areas
such as gender (masculinity or femininity interpretations), personality (introversion or
extroversion understandings), and even racial boundaries (Black or White self-identifications).
As a result of this, there is a vast scope opening up for further research around identity fluidity
and the different locations of same within our communities.
Social Work and Health Care
Social workers will need to elevate their knowledge as it relates to the spectrum of
fluidsexuality. This is in large part due to the mental pressures that are resident within lives that
are shrouded with CPC behaviours often developing into social and health issues, such as
domestic abuse, adult sexual abuse, and mental health. Any resolution or support for these types
of issues that fit into a TSFI context can only be resolved with knowledge and awareness of this
hidden culture. Beyond the psychological ramifications for community attention, by way of
policy development and social work, the medical health aspects of managing and resolving
epidemiological challenges also emerge from time to time. These challenges can only be
addressed with a full understanding and awareness of what I advance as the revised tripartite for
sexuality. This revised tripartite now consisting of heterosexuality, homosexuality and
fluidsexuality.
129
Politicization of Difference
This dissertation is premised on the reality of non-binarysexuality and the related
politicization of difference that goes hand in hand with the stigmatization and marginalization of
these contexts. This notion of politicization is far beyond the reaches of this difference around
fluidsexuality. I know this from my intersectionally-lived experiences as a Black JamaicanAmerican-Canadian (JameriCanadian), who can readily recognize marginalization and
oppression as a visible minority. As such, I know that social supremacy is a troublesome beast
that not only raises its ugly head in racial, gender, and sexual difference, but in so many other
areas that I have experienced and observed from living in three countries. There seems to be an
overarching need in the human construct where one or another group of individuals always finds
the need to have supremacy over other human beings.
As a Black immigrant man who has lived most of my life in the United States, I know
racial oppression and its related tensions very intimately. Additionally, I know the light-skinned
Black versus dark-skinned Black oppression coming out of the Jamaican context, and the West
Indian Black versus American Black oppression and tensions arising from life in Black
communities in the United States. It has, however, been very interesting to now be living in
Canada where I recognize and compare racial oppression and tensions as it is projected toward
my aboriginal brothers and sisters. In short, my point in this paragraph is to point out that
oppression, stigmatization, and marginalization seem to always raise its ugly head across racial
and cultural boundaries when difference and diversity contexts are placed into hegemonic and
linear perspectives.
Linear thinking. In my experiences, linear thinking and linear perspectives appear to be
attributes that are significantly represented in environments where a lack of diversity and
appreciation for difference permeates. Linear thinking and linear identities are stifling powers
130
that hinder creativity and innovation, not only in work place contexts, but also in social and
academic contexts. This issue raises many questions, like: Why are you so afraid of my
difference? How does my difference impact or negatively impede your life? It is in conjunction
with this sentiment that I express my sadness at the energy and money that has been spent with
the recent “transgender bathroom debate” across North America. Why should we deprive
transgender identities the human right of using bathroom facilities that connect with their gender
identity? The only answer I have is that there are no answers before us, and so further research is
needed to find the answers to help heal the wounds of our communities. While this research has
been primarily about TSFI and sexual fluidity, it subliminally is also about a quiet discourse on
the impact of power structures and the hold that certain power structures rightly or wrongfully
hold over our communities.
Recommendations for Future Research
The lived experiences of TSFI and the related thinking around fluid identities can be used
as a backdrop for understanding other aspects of difference within our communities. More
research is needed on other aspects of sexual fluidity, such as: the intersections of sexual fluidity
with gender fluidity: and, learning about sexual fluidity in context to introverted and or
extroverted personality fluidity. The binary, however, is an outdated premise that has been the
cornerstone of society’s understandings of sexual identity. The binary is a necessary barometer
for understanding the world, but it is a limiting barometer. From this research, we now have a
fuller appreciation of the different realities of sexually fluid identities that are contextual and
contingent conditions.
The binary barometer has long since been an imperialistic and a divisive gauging of our
communities in so many ways. Some societal binary examples include the male and female, the
131
religious and non-religious, the Black and White, the Western and non-Western, and – of course
– the gay and straight. These models have long since bred oppressive contexts. Alternative
understandings could provide a more open climate where a celebration for difference can thrive
and survive. I reached out to a colleague as I pondered recommendations for future research, and
in my reflections, it became very clear to me that this disparity around TSFI and the related
politicizations and disjuncture is very similar to the experiences of disparity around racial
diversity within communities. In my experience as a Black, sexually fluid man, who has noted a
difference in treatment of White sexual fluidity, I thought it relevant to draw on connections with
my colleague’s work in further substantiating how multiple locations of stigmatization,
marginalization, oppression and politicization do occur within communities. In response to my
questioning of the likelihood of identifying connections in our respective research areas, the
colleague’s response validated my thinking:
My topic is racial diversity so it [sexual fluidity politicization] definitely is in line with
the ideas of oppression with which you are dealing in your work. My feeling is that we
are strongly encumbered by Western attitudes in the classroom that create several
dynamics - the dynamic of the teacher in having to hold to a top-down, dominant culture
view of what is ‘normal,’ and this skews learning away from critical thinking and into a
lockstep adherence to these attitudes. As a result, (1) White students who should be
questioning their cultural upbringing instead see it reinforced, negating the valid
questions that they may have, effectively shutting down a potentially effective paradigm
shift; and (2) the oppressed, who should see the classroom as a safe place where their
ideas, feelings, and thoughts are welcomed and supported, instead face the prospect of
either having to conform to mainstream attitudes and ideas that they know are wrong
132
based on their own experience, or of freeing themselves of the western classroom. The
loss is to both sides of the equation, the mainstream in losing valued and rich experiential
input and narratives, and the oppressed for being denied the right to a safe and supportive
place where their experiences, lived knowledge and insights are valued. (Cooper,
personal communication, June 6, 2016).
The aforementioned response from my colleague validates my work significantly and supports
the premise that future research in the areas of racial diversity and sexual fluidity diversity would
benefit our communities.
Looking Back
As I reflect on my autoethnographic journey, I am grateful for the conversations that have
expanded my own awareness of the growing identity diversity that is resident within
fluidsexuality. I realize that my doctoral journey has culminated in the development of deeper
knowledge for me and others as well. This journey involved conversations with my fellow
participants, my advisor, my committee, my cohort peers, as well as the many attendees of my
conference presentations over the past two years, where all have provided support and critical
perspectives to the body of knowledge that exists within this dissertation. The different
conversations have all sparked forgotten memories, buried emotions, and aspects of myself that
had been dormant for many years. The conversations, however, have allowed me to gain a
strong sense of self, elevated my confidence, and given me the toolkits necessary to navigate
social and professional spaces in all areas of my life. My autoethnographic lens in this study, the
engagement with my fellow participants, and my exploration of the research literature have all
facilitated in the process of making sense of this complex phenomenon called transcultural
sexual fluidity. In this research journey of making sense of this complex phenomenon, I have
133
learned that no two TSFI persons are the same with respect to how they express themselves
sexually.
Personal Change
Learning and knowledge is deeper than academic rhetoric. I have come to terms with the
fact that alongside the required rhetoric for knowledge acquisition, learning is more so about the
evolution of the self. This doctoral journey has changed me significantly. I view the world
differently now that I have completed this journey. I view the world as a place brimming with
multiple locations even beyond what I have learned about by way of my research.
I have managed to develop a heightened level of awareness to all types of human
differences in a world that is very divisive and polarized. My doctoral journey has endowed me
with new knowledge, but most importantly, it has been about finding and understanding myself
in this world. The awakenings along the journey have been intense and deeply emotional. I
have looked at the man in the mirror, and I now have a better appreciation for my complex whole
and will from here on present it to the world, as I am, the fluid man that I am, in the current
location where I am.
This has been a tremendous learning journey that has helped me to find the courage to
publicly speak and write on this topic of TSFI. At the onset of this doctoral journey I would
never have predicted that I would find myself at this current place of purpose. As a complex,
multi-layered and multi-faceted individual, I am able to fully appreciate my identity complexity.
This appreciation for my identity complexity will allow me to connect easily with others, and
interact authentically with adult learners with whom I will share my knowledge, and learn from
them as well.
134
135
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http://www2.deloitte.com/content/dam/Deloitte/us/Documents/about-deloitte/usinclusion-uncovering-talent-paper.pdf
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APPENDIX A: Recruitment Material
Dear Prospective Participant:
I am a doctoral candidate at the University of Calgary, currently working on my research project
titled Difference is the Best Inference.
This research explores the phenomenon of transnational sexual fluidity across the diasporas of
multiculturalism resident in Canada.
This research involves interviewing participants and discussing their self-identification of being
sexual fluid transnationals. This research by way of an interview further discusses the
participants’ pre-immigration and post immigration contexts with regards to their sexual fluidity
amidst experiences of acculturation and assimilation into Canada.
If you think you may be interested in participating, and/or if you have any questions that you
would like answers to prior to making a decision to participate, please contact me
at [email protected].
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APPENDIX B: Interview Questions/Guide
Introduction
Let me first share with you that I am a sexually fluid transnational who currently resides in
Canada, previously domiciled in the USA and was born in Jamaica.
I am also a participant in this study and I will be sharing my own stories and vignettes
throughout this research. My data will be analyzed alongside the data of all other
participants. Your participation in this study will remain completely confidential and this is why
you were provided the option of choosing a pseudonym.
As an individual, I share selectively with respect to this aspect of my identity, due to safety
concerns rooted to my direct connections with Jamaica. I also share selectively because I have a
Jamaican born 12-year old daughter, and I want to be mindful of the related implications that my
identity and actions will, and can have on her life. As such, I am reasonably private, but
carefully open about myself generally. As a participant in this study, it is also important that you
only share what you feel comfortable to share.
I share all this detail so that you know that privacy will be strictly adhered to, not just for ethical
reasons, but also for my own personal reasons.
You have been selected as a participant because you are a transnational who self identifies
privately or publicly as a sexually fluid individual.
I have prepared a number of discussion questions (and discussion topics) that will serve more as
prompts, so that you have a starting place to share your experiences. Some of what we will talk
about will take the form of you responding to specific questions (your age, are you married, and
so forth). Other topics are offered more as an invitation for you to reflect on and share what you
are comfortable in sharing.
Also, it is very important that you feel free to introduce other topics that you would like to talk
about. Please feel free to interject these other topics at any time during our discussion.
Are you ready to begin?
Discussion Questions/Prompts
How old are you?
What is your native country of origin?
How many years have you been living in Canada?
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Tell me about your immigration experience, and your immigration story with respect to
relocating into Canada from [state country of origin].
Would you be comfortable sharing if you are currently in a committed relationship with
anyone? If no, any prior relationships? Do you have any children?
Tell me about your employment? I don’t need to know the name of the organization you work
for, just give me a sense of the type of work that you do and your related responsibilities.
When you reflect on the term “sexually fluidity,” what comes to mind for you? I am interested
in knowing what this means for you as an individual and your understanding of this aspect of
someone’s identity. There is no right or wrong answer. Your personal perspective is what I
would appreciate having you share for our discussion.
How old were you and in which country were you living when you made this understanding of
yourself, that you are a sexually fluid individual?
With respect to your native country of origin, tell me about your understanding with respect to
the culture of sexually fluidity in your native country?
So in this your native country of [state country], how is sexual fluidity understood there… how is
it regarded there… how is it interpreted there?
And in your native country, can you tell me about whether there are any safety concerns around
being a sexually fluid person?
Ok, so this language that we use here in Canada, where we speak about “sexual fluidity” ……in
your native country, are the same words used as well to describe this behaviour?
Please share your understanding of the culture of sexual fluidity in your current immigrant
destination country of Canada.
From your experiences, how is this culture of sexual fluidity understood, interpreted and
responded to here in Canada?
Can you speak to any safety concerns that you have around being a sexually fluid person now
that you are here in Canada?
Do you feel safer in Canada as compared to your native country, with regards to your
engagement from time to time in same gender sex (SGS)?
Do you mind sharing some of your successes with me in regards to your immigration experience
into Canada?
How about any failure with regards to your immigration experience into Canada?
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Has your sexually fluid identity impacted your successes (or maybe even failures) with respect to
assimilating and adapting to Canada’s dominant culture? Please share freely any anecdotes and
examples to illustrate.
Has your sexually fluid identity impacted your coping skills as an immigrant settling into
Canada’s dominant culture? Please share anecdotally.
What are your feelings of being at peace or in the alternative, any feelings of tension with respect
to your recognition of being a sexually fluid individual?
Do you have any preference for any end of the sexually fluid spectrum? In other words, is there
a preference for you towards being in more of a ‘hetero’ context versus a ‘homo’ context?
Do you label yourself in any way? Queer, bisexual, heteroflexible, pansexual, ambisexual or
anything similar?
If you have a child or children, will you disclose (or have you disclosed) your sexually fluid
identity to them? If yes, what will you share and when in your child’s life will you share same?
Have you ever been so conflicted by your identity that you experienced feelings of depression;
perhaps feeling hopeless; perhaps feeling helpless; perhaps feeling alone … how have you
worked through this … what supports were there for you as you went through these feelings and
emotions?
If married, or in a partnership, have you disclosed this aspect of your identity – namely your
sexually fluid identity? If not do you intend to? Do you feel it necessary to share this aspect of
your identity? Does sharing it potentially leave you feeling comfortable or perhaps, feeling
uncomfortable? What are any hesitations or fears that emerge for you as you consider whether
or not to disclose this aspect of your identity?
If you have disclosed your sexual fluid identity to your partner, do you mind sharing of your
partner’s reaction to same?
Is there anything else you would like to share with me; anything that you feel is significant to
what we have been talking about today?
Thank you so much for your time today.
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APPENDIX C: Letter of Consent
Name of Researcher, Faculty, Department, Telephone & Email:
ROGER FRANCIS
Supervisor:
DR. COLLEEN KAWALILAK
Title of Project:
DIFFERENCE IS THE BEST INFERENCE
Sponsor:
(If the project is funded, identify the funding source here)
This consent form, a copy of which has been given to you, is only part of the process of informed
consent. If you want more details about something mentioned here, or information not included
here, you should feel free to ask. Please take the time to read this carefully and to understand any
accompanying information.
The University of Calgary Conjoint Faculties Research Ethics Board has approved this research
study.
Purpose of the Study
This autoethnographical research will explore the lived experiences of transnational non-binary
sexual identities (TNBSI) and attempt to gain a deeper understanding of participants’
assimilation abilities and skills with respect to their migration experiences into Canada.
What Will I Be Asked to Do?
You will be asked to share your personal stories with regards to your self-identification as a
sexually fluid transnational person living in Canada. You will also be asked to share immigrant
experiences from your respective country of origin, in addition to the experiences of assimilation
into Canada. In sharing personal contexts, as a participant you will be asked to share with
respect to your non-binarysexuality, as experienced in your respective home countries. You will
be asked to share regarding your decision to migrate, and how this decision ultimately influenced
how you currently experience your fluidsexuality here in Canada. You will be invited to speak
about your assimilation, acculturation and adjustment experiences in relocating to Canada, and,
in particular, how your fluid sexual identity has been experienced in context to these adjustment
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processes. In advance of the interview you will be provided with questions to reflect on. One
example being, “at what time in your life did you come to know yourself as someone who
enjoyed same gender sexual activity.” In consenting to be interviewed you agree that our
interview will be audio recorded and stored for a limited period of time. Your participation is
completely voluntary, and you may refuse to participate altogether; you may refuse to participate
in parts of the study; or you may decline to answer any and all questions, and you may withdraw
from the study at any time.
What Type of Personal Information Will Be Collected?
No personal identifying information will be collected in this study, and all participants shall
remain anonymous.
Should you agree to participate, you will be asked to provide your gender, age, and ethnicity. In
recording our interview, please be advised that I (and a retained third party transcriber, who will
sign a confidentiality agreement) are the only persons who will have access to the recordings.
The recordings will never be played in public.
There are a number of options for you to consider if you decide to take part in this research. You
can choose all, some, or none of them. Please review each of these options and choose Yes or
No:”
I grant permission to be audio taped:
Yes: __ No: ___
I wish to remain anonymous:
Yes: ___ No: ___
I wish to remain anonymous, but you may refer to me by a pseudonym:
Yes: ___ No: ___
The pseudonym I choose for myself is: ____________________________________________________
Are there risks or benefits if I participate?
There are no risks or direct benefits to you for participating in this research project.
What Happens to the Information I provide?
The following persons will have access to the data: myself, my supervisor and the third party
designated to transcribe the audio recording of the interview.
Pseudonyms or some other means of ensuring anonymity will be used throughout this research.
Participation is completely voluntary, anonymous and confidential. You are free to discontinue
participation at any time during the study. If you choose to discontinue participation your data
will be immediately destroyed. The anonymous data will be stored for five years on a computer
disk, at which time, it will be permanently erased.
Signatures
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Your signature on this form indicates that 1) you understand to your satisfaction the information
provided to you about your participation in this research, and 2) you agree to participate in the
research.
In no way does this waive your legal rights nor release the investigators, sponsors, or involved
institutions from their legal and professional responsibilities. You are free to withdraw from this
research at any time. You should feel free to ask for clarification or new information throughout
your participation.
Participant’s Name: (please print) _____________________________________________
Participant’s Signature: ______________________________
Date: ______________
Researcher’s Name: (please print) ________________________________________________
Researcher’s Signature: ______________________________
Date: _____________
Questions/Concerns
If you have any further questions or want clarification regarding this research and/or your
participation, please contact:
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Dr. Colleen Kawalilak
Werklund School of Education, University of Calgary
403.220.2570, [email protected]
If you have any concerns about the way you’ve been treated as a participant, please contact the
Research Ethics Analyst, Research Services Office, University of Calgary at (403) 210-9863;
email [email protected].
A copy of this consent form has been given to you to keep for your records and reference. The
investigator has kept a copy of the consent form
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