BXE, Nonfiction Writing
Lab #5: Feature Writing Techniques & Using Precise Language
General Instructions
The point of this lab (as with all the labs) is that you sit and write for the full class. Please
do not be in a hurry to finish all of the exercises so you can leave early. This is where you are
supposed to be now. The benefit of these writing exercises comes from the experience of you
doing them.
You must complete parts 1-7 in order to earn full marks for this lab.
As usual, all work you do in this lab should be posted to your blog.
You must complete this lab in class in order to be graded for it.
IMPORTANT: You will be working on your drafts in this session. Keep in mind that everything
we are doing here is an experiment. You may find the work you do here will make it into your
next draft. You may find that what you have done here does not fit in your next draft. You are
trying things in this lab. Don’t feel like you need to keep anything you do here going forward.
Completing these exercises is all part of the process.
All work that you do in this lab should be posted to your blog.
Lab #5 Instructions
In this lab you will work on improving ONE PARAGRAPH from your draft. If you work
more quickly, you can work on more than one paragraph. But you’ll be working on one
paragraph at a time.
This should not be your first or last paragraph. It should be a paragraph of about 250 words.
If your paragraphs are very long, choose half a paragraph. If your paragraphs are very short,
combine two paragraphs.
 First, copy and paste the paragraph into a blog post on your blog.
Part One: Improve the structure of your paragraph
 Copy and paste the paragraph again. You should two of the exact same paragraphs,
one below the other. You will keep the original paragraph above, and work on the one
below.
 Give a structure to your paragraph that is similar to the one we say in Mike Albo’s
“The Big Sell.” (You can refer to the first two paragraphs on page 173 of his article for a
model). The structure should be as follows:
1. First one or two sentences: General/abstract statement of the idea discussed in the
paragraph
2. Next four or five sentences: Specific examples to illustrate this idea
3. Last one or two sentences: A more detailed example, one that could mention a
specific brand or name that people will recognize
BXE, Nonfiction Writing
Lab #5: Feature Writing Techniques & Using Precise Language
 Add, take away, or replace sentences as necessary. You may find you have to
significantly rewrite your paragraph.
Part Two: Incorporating imagery
 Copy and paste the paragraph from Part One. For each part, you will copy and paste
the version of the previous part. So, you will have a new version of your paragraph for
each part. By the last part, your paragraph should look significantly different from your
original one.
 Add direct sensory imagery to your paragraph. This could be visual (the red-bricked
building), auditory (the satisfying click of Lego snapping into place), tactile (the plastic
felt almost wet in my hand), gustatory (the cherry-medicinal taste of cough syrup) or
olfactory (the acrid smell of burnt hair). If you already have imagery in your paragraph,
add more. If you have none, add some. Add as much or as little imagery as you think is
appropriate. (Often, even one well-placed sentence containing imagery can go a long
way). As you add imagery, replace or take away any words, phrases, or sentences that
now seem to not belong anymore.
Part Three: Add a simile or metaphor
 Copy and paste the paragraph from Part Two. Add one simile (the concert sounded
like missile test launch site) or one metaphor (The city was a graveyard). If you already
have one of these, either add another one, or make the one you have better.
Part Four: Add an analogy.
 Copy and paste the paragraph from Part Three. Add an analogy. An analogy is when
you compare one situation to a completely different one. (Revising your article can be
very frustrating. Imagine washing your dishes thoroughly over and over again, but each
time they dry, you discover that they’re still dirty).
Part Five: Eliminating clutter
 Copy and paste the paragraph from Part Four. Delete any words that are not doing
necessary work. Look specifically for unnecessary prepositions (order up), unnecessary
adverbs (smile happily), unnecessary adjectives (tall skyscraper), or little qualifiers (sort
of, kind of). Be merciless in your cutting. If the sentences words without that work, get rid
of it.
 You should also eliminate entire phrases or sentences, if you feel they are not doing
useful work. Your paragraph should be shorter than it was in Part Four.
BXE, Nonfiction Writing
Lab #5: Feature Writing Techniques & Using Precise Language
Part Six: Make your language more precise
 Copy and Paste the paragraph from Part Five. Look for any euphemisms, clichés, or
examples of jargon (these could be things you wrote in one of the previous exercises
today). Replace this with more precise, simple, and direct language.
Part Seven: One more revision
 Copy and paste the paragraph from Part Six. Reread it, and fix anything that you
think is awkward, unclear, or that doesn’t work. Add, take away, or move words,
phrases or sentences as necessary. Make it as tight as possible.
After Part Seven
 You should have seven paragraphs in a row. Your seventh paragraph should be
significantly different from your first.
 If you’ve finished this exercise, congratulations. Repeat all seven parts (or as many as
you have time for) with a different paragraph (not your first or last).