Scientific Writing
Topic: Cohesion and Coherence
•  Actions and Heros
–  local clarity of individual sentences
–  1 sentence clarity
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Sentence 1
Sentence 2
Sentence 3
...
Sentence 3
...
•  Cohesion & Coherence
–  creating text that “flows”
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Sentence 1
Sentence 2
•  Cohesion
–  Old information – new information
–  Concatenation of sentences
–  Creating connectedness
Old

New
•  Principle – 1
Arrange your sentences so that readers
move from old information to new. Do that
and they will feel they are reading prose
that is cohesive. Open sentences with
ideas that you have already mentioned or
with knowledge that you can assume you
and your reader share.
Role of passive voice
a) A black hole is created by the collapse of
a dead star into a point perhaps not larger
than a marble.
b) The collapse of a dead star into a point
perhaps no larger than a marble creates a
black hole.
•  Some astonishing questions about the
nature of the universe have been raised by
scientists exploring the nature of black
holes in space.
•  Insert sentence a) or b)
•  So much matter compressed into so little
volume changes the fabric of space
around it in profoundly puzzling ways.
Version a)
•  Some astonishing questions about the
nature of the universe have been raised by
scientists exploring the nature of black
holes in space.
•  A black hole is created by the collapse of a
dead star into a point perhaps not larger
than a marble.
•  So much matter compressed into so little
volume changes the fabric of space
around it in profoundly puzzling ways.
Version b)
•  Some astonishing questions about the
nature of the universe have been raised by
scientists exploring the nature of black
holes in space.
•  The collapse of a dead star into a point
perhaps no larger than a marble creates a
black hole.
•  So much matter compressed into so little
volume changes the fabric of space
around it in profoundly puzzling ways.
•  During the early years of our nation, we
were fortunate to have been governed so
well. A series of brilliant and virtuous
presidents committed to democracy yet
confident in their own worth conducted its
affairs.
•  During the early years of our nation, we
were fortunate to have been governed so
well. Its affairs were conducted by a series
of brilliant and virtuous presidents
committed to democracy yet confident in
their own worth.
Principle Cohesion
1. Begin sentences with ideas that your
readers will readily recognize, ideas that
they have just read or that you know will
not surprise them in that context.
2. End sentences with information that your
readers cannot anticipate or with
information that they would find difficult to
understand.
•  Because the press is the major medium of
interaction between the president and the
people, how it portrays him influences his
popularity. Therefore, it should report on the
president objectively. Both reporters and the
president are human, however, subject to error
and favoritism. Also, people act differently in
public than they do in private. Hence, to
understand a person, it is important to know the
whole person, his environment, upbringing, and
education. Indeed, from the correspondence
with his family, we can learn much about Harry
S. Truman, our thirty-third president.
•  Saner, Wisconsin, is the snowmobile capital of
the world. The buzzing of snowmobile engines
fills the air, and their tank like tracks crisscross
the snow. The snow reminds me of Mom's
mashed potatoes, covered with furrows I would
draw with my fork. Mom's mashed potatoes
usually made me sick, that's why I was playing
with them. I like to make a hole in the middle of
the potatoes and fill it with melted butter. This
behavior has been the subject of long chats
between me and my analyst.
•  Coherence
–  Establish topics in a paragraph
–  What is it “about”
–  Creates higher level of understanding
Topic A
...
Sentence 1
Topic B
Sentence 2
Topic A
Sentence 3
...
•  Principle – 2
Arrange your sentences so that the
readers see a consistent set of topics, a
consistent topic string through a passage
of sentences. Do that and they will feel
they are reading prose that is coherent.
Through a series of sentences that you
want your readers to understand as a
coherent, focused passage, keep your
topics short and reasonably consistent.
•  Diagnosis:
–  Underline the first five or six words of every
sentence; then read what you have underlined
straight through.
–  If you do not quickly see what you think is a
series of concise topics of your sentences,
your readers are likely to have a hard time
finding them.
–  If you do see your topics, but you can see few
or no connections among them, your readers
are unlikely to see any either.
–  Even if you can see connections, think hard
about how likely your readers will.
•  Revision:
–  Decide globally what a passage is “about” by
imagining a title for it consisting of no more
than three or four nouns. Those nouns will
provide most of your topics.
–  In most of your sentences, signal those topics
by making them the subjects of your
sentences.
–  Locate most of those subjects close to the
beginning of your sentences, not obscured by
long introductory phrases.
•  Cohesion Exercise
revise this passage to improve its flow.
The Hart Queen is one of the best skis for beginning
skiers. A thin layer of tempered ash from hardwood
forests of Kentucky makes up its inner core. Therefore,
two innovations for strength and flexibility are built into its
outer construction. Also, two sheets of ten-gauge steel
reinforce a layer of ash for increased strength. A
wrapping of fiberglass thus surrounds the two steel
sheets for increased flexibility. In fact, most conventional
bindings can be used with the Queen. The Salomon
Double is the best, however. A cushion of foam and
insulation firmly cradles the foot and ankle, yet freedom
of movement is still permitted.
Topics – what is the sentence “about” ?
1.  It is impossible for these claims to be proved to our
satisfaction.
2.  As for these questions, I believe there should be more
research.
3.  It is likely that these proposals will be accepted.
4.  Results such as these no one could have predicted.
Topics – what is the sentence “about” ?
1. It is impossible for these claims to be proved to our
satisfaction.
2.  As for these questions, I believe there should be more
research.
3. It is likely that these proposals will be accepted.
4.  Results such as these no one could have predicted.
•  Readers impose a sense of coherence on a passage
when they can see two things:
1.  They can identify the topics of the individual sentences
quickly and easily.
2.  They can see how a string of topics “hangs together” as
a logical set.
Text a:
Topics are crucial for a reader because they depend on
topics to focus their attention on particular ideas toward
the beginning of sentences so they can understand what
a whole passage is “about”. If readers feel that a
sequence of topics is coherent, then they will feel they
are moving through a paragraph from a cumulatively
point of view. But if through that paragraph readers feel
that topics seem to shift randomly, then they have to
begin each sentence out of context, from no coherent
point of view. When that happens, readers feel
dislocated, disoriented, out of focus.
Text a:
Topics are crucial for a reader because they depend on
topics to focus their attention on particular ideas toward
the beginning of sentences so they can understand what
a whole passage is “about”. If readers feel that a
sequence of topics is coherent, then they will feel they
are moving through a paragraph from a cumulatively
point of view. But if through that paragraph readers feel
that topics seem to shift randomly, then they have to
begin each sentence out of context, from no coherent
point of view. When that happens, readers feel
dislocated, disoriented, out of focus.
Text b:
The particular ideas towards the beginning of sentences
define what a passage is “about” for a reader, so a
sense of coherence depends on the topics. Moving
through a paragraph from a cumulatively coherent point
of view is made possible by a sequence of topics that
seem to constitute this coherent sequence of topicalized
ideas. A seeming absence of context for each sentence
is one consequence of making random shifts in topics.
Feeling of dislocation, disorientation, and lack of focus
will occur what that happens.
Text b:
The particular ideas towards the beginning of sentences
define what a passage is “about” for a reader, so a
sense of coherence depends on the topics. Moving
through a paragraph from a cumulatively coherent point
of view is made possible by a sequence of topics that
seem to constitute this coherent sequence of topicalized
ideas. A seeming absence of context for each sentence
is one consequence of making random shifts in topics.
Feeling of dislocation, disorientation, and lack of focus
will occur what that happens.
Too consistent topic
“Moral climate” is created when an objectivized moral
standard for treating people is accepted by others. Moral
climate results from norms of behavior, which are
accepted by society whereby if people conform they are
socially approved of, or if they don’t they are shunned. In
this light, moral climate acts as a reason to refrain from
saying or doing things that the community does not
support. A moral climate encourages individuals to
conform to a moral standard and apply that standard to
their own circumstances.
References
•  J.M. Williams. Style – Then Lessons in
Clarity and Grace, 5th Edition, Longman,
1997.
•  J.M. Williams. Style – Toward Clarity and
Grace. University of Chicago Press, 1990.