How to make better decisions As a pastor for over 36 years I get this 6th sense of when people are in the process of making really bad decisions! It’s more than a 6th sense it my senses have been trained – I have experience in life and in my job I have experience in helping to guide people into a better life with Jesus. Hebrews 5: 14 explains it this way, “Solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.” But many times as I watch people make life decisions it’s like watching the reruns of a movie knowing exactly what’s coming next – the good the bad and the ugly! I am amazed by the number of people who make really bad decisions – not just the number but these same people over and over making really bad decisions about life and living. I watch as people make poor choice and bad decisions and then they lament “Why is this happening to me?” As a pastor I’ve watched people’s lives disconnect with God, church and friendships because of the way they make decisions about important things in life. • I’ve watched people make poor choices over friends and those friends have a bad influence in their lives • I’ve watched people make poor financial decisions over and over again and they wonder why they don’t have any money. • I’ve watched people make bad choices in romance – too many times to discuss! • I’ve watched student make poor choices while in University that have given them trouble for decades. From a poor ability to prioritize studies over entertainment, a new found freedom over being wise about the kind of life they live. It’s true that 80% of Christian students either lose their faith or strongly compromise their faith while in University – the consequences they live with sometimes for decades. • I’ve watched family break apart because someone decided to compromise their morality by thinking with something other than their brain! • I’ve watched people make very poor spiritual decisions over and over again and they never seem to learn. They sabotage their lives by making dodgy decisions. • I’ve watched because they all have this one thing in common they don’t like listening to godly advice. • I’ve watched because they have all resisted instruction on life from those who know. • I’ve watched because people steadfastly oppose any involvement from others • I’ve watched because they shout “Don’t tell me what to do!!” So I watch, I cry, I’m sad and feel deeply for them. I pray for them to come to their senses hoping there won’t be a train wreck! But at the end of the day as awful as the consequences are they made these decisions – they made their bed – they will have to sleep in it! Listen if it’s true your life is the sum of the decisions you make then making better decisions about life should be a real priority. Instead of being stupid why don’t we wise up and learn how to make better decisions? Why continue to make dumb decisions when you can make better decisions? Consequences are real. Yes the grace of God is there for our help – but no it won’t cover every stupid thing we do. Grace is awesome but there is another principle in scripture that says you reap what you sow. So sow wisely. You can’t treat people badly and expect them to treat you well – you can’t make stupid decisions and just believe God will work it all out. You can’t use other people and expect them to thank you for it. Consequences are real – what you do will have results, effects and outcomes. The wisdom of your decisions decides the outcome. It’s not God’s fault we make stupid decisions – He watches too – He tries to intervene but we are steadfastly ignorant, blind and resistant to His word and Spirit. We reject godly advice and do so to our own detriment. Proverbs 19:3 says this in the Message, “People ruin their lives by their own stupidity, so why does GOD always get blamed?” Proverbs 10:13 in the Contemporary English Version says, “If you have good sense, it will show when you speak. But if you are stupid, you will be beaten with a stick.” We wonder why there is such a storm after we do something. We wonder why people don’t want to hang out with us after we reject their wise advice. The reason is you’re stupid and need a stick! decision_making
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Proverbs 11:14 “For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisors.” Proverbs 18:1-­‐2 ESV, “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment. A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” Every day each of us are faced with numerous choices. What should we do when the Bible doesn’t seem to speak directly to the situations we face and the decisions we make? The following 10 principals will help you to make decisions that glorify God and honor others. 1. What Biblical Principles Should Inform My Decision? The bible says a lot about a lot of things – have you been reading it? Do you know what it says about the decisions you are making?? 2 Timothy 3:16, “All Scripture is God-­‐breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” Questions to Ask 1. What does the Bible have to say about my decision? 2. Do I have a godly leader who can help me understand what God’s Word says about this decision? 3. Make sure you are not the only one who holds to your interpretation. 2. Do I Have All The Facts? Proverbs 18:13 “He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.” Questions to Ask 1. Ask a lot of questions. 2. Don’t fall prey to “wishful thinking “or let your emotions get the best of you. 3. Remember that there are two sides to every story. 3. Is The Pressure Of Time Forcing Me To Make A Premature Decision? Proverbs 19:2 “Also it is not good for a person to be without knowledge, and he who makes haste with his feet errs.” Proverbs 21:5 “The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, but everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty.” Questions to Ask 1. Beware of the “once in a life time” deal and the lure of instant gratification. 2. Don’t let the fear of missing out drive your decision. Never make a decision when you feel rushed, under pressure or pushed by other – learn to wait, relax and consider the decision in the quiet moments of reflection – be honest with yourself. 4. What Possible Motives Are Driving My Decision? Proverbs 16:2 “All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, but the Lord weighs the motives.” Proverbs 20:9 “Who can say, ‘I have cleansed my heart, I am pure from my sin?’” Questions to Ask 1. Acknowledge that you have “blind spots.” 2. Honestly assess your motives, both good and bad. Why do you want this so much?? 3. Give others who are godly leaders permission to speak in to your life and then LISTEN!!! 5. How Should Past Experiences Inform My Decision? Proverbs 26:11 “Like a dog that returns to its vomit is a fool who repeats his folly.” Questions to Ask 1. Look for patterns of behavior – “triggers.” 2. Understand how your family back ground might affect your thinking. 3. Learn from your mistakes! George Bernard Shaw once said, “What we learn from history is that we learn nothing from history.” 6. What Is The Collective Counsel Of My Church? Does my church have a thought on this? Is that guidance biblical? If so what must I do? Proverbs 11:14 “Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in an abundance of counselors there is victory.” Proverbs 18:1 “He who separates himself seeks his own desire. He quarrels against all sound wisdom.” Questions to Ask 1. Avoid having many separate conversations. 7. Have I Honestly Considered The Warning Signs? Proverbs 16:25 “There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.” Questions to Ask 1. Don’t think you are the “exception” to the rule. Have other pointed out the warning signs, consequences or results of the decision you’re thinking of making? 2. Is there more than just one person on my case or have a number of my friends and godly leaders been speaking to me as well? 8. Have I Considered The Possible Outcomes For My Course Of Action? Remember consequences. Proverbs 14:15 “The naïve believes everything, but the prudent man considers his steps.” Questions to Ask 1. Do the “long math.” Think about next week, next month next year – 5 years down the road!!! 2. Assess the potential risks of your decision 9 .Could This Decision Jeopardize My Integrity or hinder my witness for the Lord? Will it impact on my leadership in the church? Proverbs 10:9 “He who walks in integrity walks securely, but he who perverts his ways will be found out.” Proverbs 22:1 “A good name is to be more desired than great riches, favor is better than silver and gold.” Questions to Ask 1. Work toward the “center” rather than flirt with the “edge.” 2. Ask yourself, would this pass the “newspaper” test? 3. Keep short accounts. 10. Is There a Better Option That Would Allow Me to Make a Greater Impact for God’s Kingdom? Proverbs 11:30 “The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who is wise wins souls.” Questions to Ask 1. Ask yourself, what story could God be writing? 2. Don’t assume that just because something is hard that it is not God’s will. 3. Understand how God has uniquely gifted and resourced you. The greatest decision you will ever make is to follow Jesus and study His word for wisdom.