In-Class Activity: Varying Sentence Structure and Mechanics Usage
Instructions:
1. Read the example paragraph from a students’ essay and consider in what ways it is repetitive.
2. Reflecting on your notes from the online lecture on Sentence Structure and Mechanics, please
revise the paragraph to incorporate at least four of the following structures:
 –ed modifier
 –ing modifier
 adverbial conjunction
 coordinating conjunction
 subordinating conjunction
 semicolon
Example Paragraph
Brent Staples is angry in the story “Black Men, Public Spaces.” Anyone can understand where his pain
is coming from. Staples’ anger builds in the story. He is very angry because of others negative view of
him: “Over the years, I learned to smother the rage I felt at so often being taken for a criminal. Not to
do so would surely have led to madness” (Staples 238). He realizes that letting his anger out will not
do him any good or change anything in the whole situation. It will just cause emotional distress.
Your Revised Paragraph
Note: This portion of the handout would be passed out to students after they share their example
revisions.
Notice the Repetitive Sentence Structure and Mechanics Usage

The repeated pattern in Subject > Verb > Thought.
Example Paragraph
Brent Staples is angry in the story “Black Men, Public Spaces.” Anyone can understand where his pain
is coming from. Staples’ anger builds in the story. He is very angry because of others negative view of
him: “Over the years, I learned to smother the rage I felt at so often being taken for a criminal. Not to
do so would surely have led to madness” (Staples 238). He realizes that letting his anger out will not
do him any good or change anything in the whole situation. It will just cause emotional distress.
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Notice the Sentence and Mechanics Variety

The revised paragraph below includes an –ed modifier, –ing modifier, coordinating
conjunction, and an adverbial conjunction.
Revised Example
Perceived as a threat due to his race and size, Staples is infuriated by the negative attention of being
stereotyped by the strangers he encounters: “Over the years, I learned to smother the rage I felt at so
often being taken for a criminal. Not to do so would surely have led to madness” (Staples 238).
Realizing that releasing his anger in a hostile manner will not bring him peace of mind, he whistles to
change public perception, yet Staples does this to quell his own smoldering rage; thus, he finds
tranquility by taking control of the situation and altering how he is viewed.