Limerick Session – Holy Covenant Church 18 June 2016
Background
The limerick is a five-line structured poem. The first two lines and the last line rhyme and usually
have 9 beats and the third and fourth lines have a separate rhyme and are shorter with 6 beats.
The end beats in the long lines are accented ditty-dum . So both rhythm and rhyme are important
in the flow of reading (in poetic nomenclature it takes the form aa3bb2a3).
The form appeared in England in the early years of the 18th century.[4] It was popularized
by Edward Lear in the 19th century,[5] although he did not use the term.
It was popular poetic expression in the repressive era of Victorian England. Many limericks of
that time attacked the church and establishment. Literacy in the populace was not like today and
the limerick was easy to deliver for oral memory. Many were quite bawdy.
The best ones are obscene if you believe the following! …
The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
This is not the case of course there are a wide range of limericks that are very entertaining and
we may have time to look at some including those of Ogden Nash who cleverly created his own
unique rhyming words when needed. There are limericks appropriate for children, limericks that
are informative, clever-use-of words limericks and of course limericks that invoke fun at the
expense of a certain individual. I particularly like the following –
The British wordplay and recreational mathematics expert Leigh Mercer (1893–1977) devised the
following mathematical limerick:
This is read as follows - work it out from the text without looking at the formula:
A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.
And like any word dissemination they can be used to manipulate readers into a certain way of
thinking. I am reminded of George Orwell and ‘Animal Farm’ – ‘four legs good, two legs bad’. And
here is a link to my feelings on a certain Mr Trump https://mywordinyourear.wordpress.com/2016/05/21/looking-at-limericks-and-manipulation/
From this Post (via Wikipedia) are the details on the origin of the name …
The origin of the name limerick for this type of poem is debated. As of several years ago, its
usage was first documented in England in 1898 (New English Dictionary) and in the United
States in 1902, but in recent years[when?] several earlier uses have been documented. The name is
generally taken to be a reference to the City or County of Limerick in Ireland[9][10] sometimes
particularly to the Maigue Poets
, and may derive from an earlier form of nonsense verse parlour game that traditionally included
a refrain that included "Will [or won't] you come (up) to Limerick?"[11]
Richard Scutter
1|Page
Limerick Session – Holy Covenant Church 18 June 2016
The Competition Entries (Numbered for identification)
*1 …
A mathematician named Clark
Took a walk in a National Park
A squawking he heard
But was it a bird
Or someone just having a lark
*2 …
A tall, slender gent nom de Scutter
Has caused me to mumble and mutter
I’ve tried line, word and verse
And now I’m quite terse
Mr Scutter I fear I’m a ‘nutter’
3…
There was a church called Holy Covenant
Whose concern for the world was evident
It’s aim was to care
To support and to share
And to show a love so extravagant
*4 …
a student who gave up theology
sent his tutor a written apology
He said, ‘Your church history
is too much a mystery,
so I switched and now study astrology’
5…
There was an old person in church
Whose chair was about to lurch
She needed a hand
But instead did land
Which floored the old person in church
6…
There was a young person of Cook
Who read from a tablet not book
He came to learn scrabble
The words were a babble
That hapless young person of Cook
Richard Scutter
2|Page
Limerick Session – Holy Covenant Church 18 June 2016
7…
There was a new member of course
Who came to the church to learn Morse
She tapped out the songs
With an old set of gongs
That happy new member with force.
8…
Said Richard you’ve no need to mutter
You can say it without any stutter
Joy every day
Soon you will say
My name which is really just scutter
*9 …
There was a deacon called Anne
Who wouldn’t perform with a fan
She always said no
I won’t give it a go
However she did a great can-can
10 …
There once was an office at church
The open door helped folk to search
The lady inside
Efficiency her pride
so no one was left in the lurch
11 …
try and get to the lunch
even come in a bunch
hot soup
in a group
free lunch is not a crunch
12 …
a Lilley limerick thus hatched:
a fireside, in cottage thatchedwinter comes across the hills
images to brave the chillsand Lilley's limerick despatched!
Richard Scutter
3|Page
Limerick Session – Holy Covenant Church 18 June 2016
13 …
I have been losing sleep of late
with richard's task; put chalk to slate
and rub it off, and start ag'in
(for when tis done: a prize to win!)
but if I lose - then that's my fate.
*14 …
The semi-breve, crochet and quaver
Are three notes which I like to savour;
With timing four-four
Just stamp on the floor
And you’ll do all your neighbours a favour.
15 …
There was an old lady called Phyl
Who met a young fellow called Bill.
“He’s fitter than Reg,
He’s just got that edge,”
Said that flighty old lady called Phyl.
*16 …
There was a church worker call Paul
Who was frightened of nothing at all.
He climbed on the roof
(surely that’s proof).
“Come down,” said the Wardens. “You’ll fall!”
17 …
There was a fine Deacon called Anne,
inspired, came up with a plan
to care for the sick,
give them friends and respect.
That wonderful Deacon called Anne.
*18 …
In Studleigh there lived a vicar
who enjoyed a tipple of liquor
but one Sunday morn
he didn't arise at dawn
and he never got up and dressed quicker.
19 …
We have a monthly Church working bee
but it's not too difficult to see
that those who attend
find it hard to bend
because the average age is over seventy!
Richard Scutter
4|Page
Limerick Session – Holy Covenant Church 18 June 2016
20 …
I've worked with Susanna, Sarah and Paul
Anne and Vicky - I've know them all
now Connie and Rob
are doing the job
before our new rector we soon install.
*21 …
I love how birds huddle together
to keep warm in the chillier weather
they preen and chat
eye out for the cat
then down floats a fabulous feather.
22 …
There was a young lady from Dungog
Who's mind was often in a fog
To church she came
To clear her brain
When she left she was all agog
*23 …
There was a young man named Scutter
And it was poetry he tended to mutter
Said he to his wife
I'll brighten church life
But I wonder what people will utter?
………………………………………………………………..…
And the Poetry Text from Ann Anonymous -
On Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash is a humour-US poet I admire
His rhymes are often quite exemplar
For, if a word he cannot take
A new one he soon doth make
Yes, Ogden Nash is a poet quite unique-lar!
Richard Scutter
5|Page
Limerick Session – Holy Covenant Church 18 June 2016
Last Limerick Call
If you find the sermon kind of boring
And those around have started snoring
Enter your mind, And you might find
Some Limerick words a-calling
I don’t want to bend upon the knees
Ask God for some entries please
I’m sure he’s got better things to do
Perhaps those that snored first in the queue
There’s little time left to share some words
So get down to it to be heard!
The end of May is the very last day
So little time left to have your say
Richard is hoping, Richard is waiting
Richard is anticipating
On our Church situation
you may think it a little sinister
to have a church without a minister
but never fear
God’s ever near
to help us all add minister
On giving (or not giving) …
I once met a man from Peru
who went running with only one shoe.
His brother had none
so he gave him one.
He thought it the nice thing to do, to do
Oh, he thought it the nice thing to do!
What a Strange Couple
A friend of mine is ten feet tall
He sleeps in the kitchen with his feet in the hall
At each door
He has to crawl
but his poor little wife is just four foot four!
Richard Scutter
6|Page
Limerick Session – Holy Covenant Church 18 June 2016
And on the Election … (adding two extra lines for emphasis)
Turnbull or Shorten we all have to choose
which candidate has the most clues?
July 2 is the day
when we must have our say
if it was Trump we would all have the blues
oh, if it was Trump we would have the blues
if it was Trump we would surely all lose!
On that Trump Character
Obama a little soft, Trump a little hard
Is America ready for the trump it card?
As time nears
So do the fears
Hopefully a trump becomes a discard
Not Playing Golf
I’m afraid my golfing days are over
Bag and clubs have now become clover
But I still say Yes!
For some TennES
For my partner is named Stosur
And on our Election
We live in a land of strong apathy
Shorten and Turnbull quite CRAP-aby
But please note
We have to vote
So to the polls we go, un’appily
Getting Entries
In the Office is the lovely lass Libby
Who would like lots of limerick liquidity
So don’t be slow
To have your go
please send to me your best entry
Richard Scutter
7|Page
Limerick Session – Holy Covenant Church 18 June 2016
Nola
A sweet young thing named Nola
Has curves any guy would go for
She conducts herself
With grace and wealth
She sure is a great little goer!
On Our Last Minister
the last minister at our Church
left everyone quite in the lurch
after Christmas Day
he went a different way
ia mystery why he left his perch
The Loveable Green-Eyed Turtle
I love the green-eyed turtle
Who goes by the name of Murtle
She sometimes teaches
She sometimes preaches
But Murtle the turtle never hurtful!
On Reaching Heaven
Heaven is such a long way away
I don’t think I’ll go there today
By train or by car
It’s far too far
it’s here I guess I’ll have to stay
Richard Scutter
8|Page