CAST LIST: The Curse of Macbeth (that Scottish Play)
DIRECTOR
ASST DIRECTOR
*WITCH 1
*WITCH 2
*WITCH 3
LADY MACBETH
*PRIEST
MACBETH
*FEMALE CRITIC
*MALE CRITIC
*RANDOM
*MACDUFF
HAMLET
OPHELIA
PROSPERO
*RICHARD III
JACOB MARLEY
*AUDIENCE 1
*AUDIENCE 2
*BAR WORKER
*GUEST 1
*GUEST 2
*STAGEHAND
Unknown director with eccentric vision
Young woman who is the brains of the outfit
Self explanatory
Self explanatory
Self explanatory
Young idealistic actress
A bit player
An older washed-up never was.
Sharp tongued cynic
The less experienced male counterpart
A random bit player who makes a few appearances
Bit encounter with Macbeth
A Dane who is now a ghost
A wild and unpredictable ghost
A stuffy conventional ghost
Short appearance by a misunderstood hunchback
Friend of Scrooge
A bit part in the second act.
A bit part in the second act.
A small role during second intermission
A guest at the banquet
A guest at the banquet
A young stoner who appears late in the second act.
All roles with an * can be doubled.
BIOGRAPHY
Joe Starzyk has been writing plays for over 30 years. Since
studying playwriting in Oxford, England, he took a 27 year
break and in the last 5 years has written numerous plays.
His works have been performed at theaters in states all
around the country, as well as Mexico. Many have received
awards and most recently his play, “Wedding Secrets”, was
name the winner of the McLaren Memorial Playwriting
Competition in Midland Texas. Joe currently lives in
Brunswick, NY with his wife and three daughters.
SYNOPSIS OF THE CURSE OF MACBETH
The play deals with an unknown director’s desire to produce an avant garde,
modern version of Macbeth. As his vision unfolds, the actors begin to revolt.
Upon advice from critics he unhappily agrees to change to a more traditional
production. While angry about the change, he unwittingly blurts out
Macbeth in the theater. At that point his real troubles begin.
As the traditional version goes up, they are haunted by ghosts of
Shakespeare past. Hamlet, Ophelia and Prospero show up to create havoc.
They also have a tag-along friend in Jacob Marley. The ghosts turn the
production upside down, while the director and assistant director try to find a
way to end the curse. Ultimately, they break the curse, but find out that the
audience loved their comic version of Macbeth.
In addition to the fun that the ghosts unleash, there are a lot of interesting
conventions employed. Some of the play’s action is onstage, some off stage.
There are a few plants in the audience that have lines, as well as a small
scene played in the lobby during intermission. All in all it is fast paced and
funny to both those familiar with Shakespeare and those who aren’t.
The play received a staged reading at the Provincetown Theater.
April 2012.
THE CURSE OF MACBETH (that Scottish play)
By Joe Starzyk
ACT I
SCENE 1
THE SETTING: A stage in any theater, anywhere, anytime.
AT THE RISE: People walk back and forth across the stage. The director is in the
back of the theater.
DIRECTOR
Cue music.
(Elizabethan music begins playing. A young woman comes to the
center of the stage. She is the assistant director.)
ASST. DIRECTOR
Prithee, my lords and ladies. Gather hither and indulge us anon. Allow me to ….
(She is forgetting her lines.)
Allow me to … relay the tale of Mac-, that Scottish play. Hither – Ah shit. This is
a tale of murder, deception, guilt and revenge. The title is in your program, but we
call it, “that Scottish play”, because of the curse. You can’t utter the name of the
play unless it’s in the dialogue. OtherwiseDIRECTOR
(interrupting)
STOP! STOP!
(running to the front of the stage)
That’s not in the script. Why are you talking about the curse? And why are you
talking in your normal voice.
ASST DIRECTOR
I’m not an actor. I’m the assistant director. Besides there is no prologue in Mac-,
that Scottish play. In fact, it didn’t really make any sense.
DIRECTOR
It made perfect sense, until you changed it. And we need a prologue so we can
transport the audience from Elizabethan times to the present.
ASST DIRECTOR
I just don’t think it works. And the whole modern timesDIRECTOR
Et tu Brutae.
ASST DIRECTOR
Wouldn’t that make more sense if you said Et tu Michelle.
DIRECTOR
(Emotionally upset and frustrated)
I AM THE DIRECTOR. It is how I say it is. I’m having enough trouble with the
actors; I don’t need problems from you.
(pause)
Now if you would please let me direct, because I am the director, and you are the
assistant director so … just … assist. So in the future, please recite the prologue
as it is written. No talk of a curse. Got it. Now, call the witches. I want to get this
rehearsal going. Chop, Chop.
(The director takes a seat in the audience. She exits, stage right. Michelle returns
with three old women. They each have a walker.)
DIRECTOR
As you know my vision is to modernize this tale. I want it to be relevant to
today’s audience.
WITCH 1
But these outfits?
WITCH 2
And these walkers? Seriously?
DIRECTOR
Yes, seriously. It’s a commentary on society, and how we’ve lost respect for the
wisdom of our elderly.
WITCH 3
How are we conveying that? I’m confused.
DIRECTOR
In this scene, I want you three to use those walkers and circle around a pot of tea.
WITCHES
Oh c’mon. This is crazy. Can’t we DIRECTOR
Can we please begin?
(The assistant director sets a pot of tea on a card table. The witches begin
circling.)
WITCH 1
When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning or in rain?
WITCH 2
When the hurly-burly’s done, when the –
DIRECTOR
(He rises from his seat, and approaches the stage.)
No! No! Where is the new dialogue?
ASST DIRECTOR
(She runs on stage carrying three papers.)
Sorry.
(She hands out the papers. The women start to read the papers.)
DIRECTOR
Now from the top please.
(He returns to his seat. The witches resume their dance about the tea pot.)
WITCH 1
When shall we three meet again? Ah … Hopefully when the weather is better.
WITCH 2
Maybe next Thursday.
WITCH 3
No Thursday’s no good for me. How about Tuesday? Then we can meet with
Macbeth.
DIRECTOR
(He rises.)
That was nice, but I think you need to be more … ethnic.
WITCH 2
Ethnic?
DIRECTOR
More specifically, Jewish.
WITCH 3
Jewish?
DIRECTOR
Yeah, three wise women. Like three yentls.
WITCH 1
Yentls are matchmakers. Three older women would be elda cacas.
WITCH 2
And this is Scotland.
DIRECTOR
Yes and you are witches. I mean yentls. I mean Elda what evers. Just give me
Jewish.
(sitting and talking to himself)
Eldy whosy cacas. Is that even a real word?
(The three witches confer and then start to circle the tea pot.)
WITCHES
(singing)
Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match. Find me a find. Catch me a catch.
DIRECTOR
(rises)
Very funny. Very funny. Please just go backstage and work on the ethnic quality.
(walking to the stage and shouting)
Bring me MacASST DIRECTOR
(jumping out from backstage)
Hey! Watch out. You almost said it.
DIRECTOR
Oh God. Not that stupid curse again. What is it with you and that curse?
ASST DIRECTOR
Oh c’mon. Everyone knows of stories of mysterious mishaps surrounding this
play.
DIRECTOR
Ridiculous superstition.
ASST DIRECTOR
Tell that to Charlton Heston’s groin.
DIRECTOR
(astonished)
WHAT?
ASST DIRECTOR
Someone had dipped his tights in kerosene. He wound up with burns all over his
groin.
DIRECTOR
I’m sorry that Moses had a burning in his bushes, but that hardly qualifies as a
curse.
ASST DIRECTOR
(astounded)
Are you really that unaware?
(pause as he stares blankly)
In the 40’s there was a production where 4 people died. Some were on stage. And
in the 30’s there was a production where the director was almost killed in a car
accident, on the way to the theater.
DIRECTOR
(He gulps noticeably.)
Well, I suppose you are right. We must honor the traditions of the theater. Who
are we to …. I ah … just bring me Mac – ahh that is John Schuler.
ASST DIRECTOR
Can’t.
DIRECTOR
Can’t?
ASST DIRECTOR
Can’t find him.
DIRECTOR
What do you mean can’t find him?
(pause)
Do you think it’s the curse?
ASST DIRECTOR
No one’s done anything that would have set the curse in motion.
DIRECTOR
Because Sir John is a highly skilled professional.
ASST DIRECTOR
JOHN
(emphasizing no Sir)
Is a highly skilled drunk. And is well known for chasing any woman or man he
can catch.
(pause)
And it isn’t Sir John.
DIRECTOR
(frustrated)
Then bring me Lady Mac(catching himself)
Lady hom hom hom.
(ASST DIRECTOR leaves to get Lady Macbeth. In the mean time the Director
goes up on stage.)
I never realized this curse was so serious. Must make very sure not to say –
(ASST DIRECTOR returns with the young woman who is Lady Macbeth.)
Ah, there you are. How are you dear?
LADY MACBETH
Fine sir.
DIRECTOR
Now, now call me Donny.
(He pauses hoping to hear her call him Donny. When he realizes nothing is
forthcoming he clears his throat and continues. The ASST DIRECTOR exits.)
How do you envision Lady (He tries to fill in the blank with head nods and hand gestures.)
your character.
LADY MACBETH
I see her as a very strong woman. She can take charge when the men around her
seem too weak or indecisive. Unfortunately, the strain of her conscience
eventually drives her beyond the edge. And in the very powerful sleep walking
scene, we see that she can no longer go on. Is it madness or guilt? That’s what
will be fun to explore.
DIRECTOR
Well, that certainly is one take. But what if she were a modern day woman?
LADY MACBETH
Well,
(She pauses to ponder the question.)
Maybe some type of corporate exec, or a high level politician.
DIRECTOR
Yes, exactly. Or a trophy wife. I’m glad we are on the same page.
LADY MACBETH
(stunned)
But, I didn’t –
DIRECTOR
(interrupting)
Now in this scene the trophy wife comes downstairs. She is having trouble
sleeping, because of all the strain of being a domestic goddess. As she reaches the
bottom of the stairs, she notices a spot on the beautiful, expensive carpet.
LADY MACBETH
(stunned)
You’re kidding.
DIRECTOR
(He continues undaunted.)
This is too much. No matter how hard she tries to look beautiful, and keep a nice
home, something always goes wrong. It has driven her to the point of madness.
(He pauses a moment, to take in the full scope of his own vision.)
Can you do that? I know it’s a lot to ask. But plum the depths of your inner
goddess and make us feel. Make us … what’s the word.
LADY MACBETH
Puke.
DIRECTOR
Empathize. I want the whole audience to feel her pain.
LADY MACBETH
This is crap.
DIRECTOR
My dear,
(He takes her hands.)
one man’s crap is another man’s candy.
LADY MACBETH
That’s disgusting.
DIRECTOR
Let’s just get into place. Hand her the lines.
(She moves stage left and the ASST DIRECTOR enters. She hands Lady Macbeth
her lines and exits. The DIRECTOR begins to give direction and she follows.)
DIRECTOR
You are descending the stairs. You are unable to sleep. You are racked with guilt.
Now, you see the stain. You are horrified. You run offstage, and grab your
cleaning supplies. Dejectedly you drop to your knees, and you begin to scrub.
Now you say ….
LADY MACBETH
Out, out damn spot. One, two out with you. Now the carpet is murky. Murky as
hell.
DIRECTOR
Great. Now enter the PRIEST.
(A PRIEST enters.)
LADY MACBETH
(astounded and jumping up)
A priest.
DIRECTOR
Back in character and position please.
(LADY MACBETH gets back in position, and the PRIEST speaks.)
PRIEST
Your husband called me. He said you weren’t sleeping. He’s worried you’re
possessed. Perhaps we’ll need an exorcism.
(LADY MACBETH looks at him like he’s crazy.)
DIRECTOR
Great reaction. Now the lines.
LADY MACBETH
The lawyer of fife, had a wife. Where is she now?