-...
The Iliad:
A Truly Condensed
Version
~
synopsis:
(What really
caused the Trojan War)
Once upon a Greek time, there were three goddesses (Hera,
Aphrodite, and Athene) who didn't invite another goddess, Eris
(goddess of discord), to a party.
Eris was majorly upset and got
revenge by making a golden apple, with the inscription, "For the
Fairest", and throwing it into the banquet hall where the party was
happening.
Hera, Athene, and Aphrodite each thought the apple
surely was meant for her.
They, got into a terrible fight and
finally went to Zeus to settle the argument.
Zeus, who wanted no
part in this "lose - lose" situation,
(for who really wants to
choose between your wife, your daughter, and a lover?), sidestepped
the issue and told the goddesses there was only bne man, a mortal,
who could accurately settle this matter - Paris.
Paris, son of
Queen Hekabe and King Priam, was a "ladies man" and currently
residing on a deserted
island watching
sheep because of the
prophesy his father had received from a seer. (Something about
Paris going to destroy his kingdom - talk about a father's overreaction!) Paris had "animal magnetism" to the point that, even
while isolated on this uninhabited island, a tree nymph falls in
love with him.
The three goddesses "pop in" to get an answer concerning who
was really the "fairest". Each goddess had a prepared a bribe to
help convince Paris of her special beauty.
Hera told Paris that
she would help him obtain world domination and become the universal
leader.
Athene told him that,
if she were pronounced
the
"fairest", she would see to it that he became the world's most
successful warrior and ruler of all he conquered.
Aphrodi te
promised to help him obtain the most beautiful woman in the world the lovely Helen, wife of King Menelaus, of Sparta.
Paris, with
his usual "below the belt" intellect, chooses, you guessed it,
Helen. (Forgetting the fact that the woman is already married.)
The other two goddesses, who are completely "ticked off", threaten
revenge and leave.
Aphrodi te then zaps Paris and herself onto
Sparta, where Paris kidnaps Helen, and worse yet, violates the
sacred Greek hospitality code. Menelaus arrives back at Sparta to
discover his lovely wife abducted and immediately goes to his big
brother, King Agamemnon - greatest ruler in Greece.
Agamemnon
calls all the Greek troops together and sets sail toward Paris's'
hometown: the fabled city of Troy.
Thus begins the Trojan War.
The Iliad:
Book I
At the beginning of the Iliad', the Trojan War has been raging
for ten years, and Agamemnon is dealing with his own peculiar set
of problems.
It seems that Agamemnon, on his journey to kill Paris
and his family, and raze the city of Troy for fun and profit, has
stolen the daughter of a priest of Apollo.
The priest has, over
the years, appealed to Apollo to return his daughter to him.
Apollo, who must have been having one heck of a long lunch break,
finally hears the priest and sends down a plague upon the Greek
troops to punish Agamemnon.
Agamemnon, who admits he "1ikes"
,
<,
-:
z
; Chryseis, the priest's daughter, better than his wife, reluctantly
sends her back to her father.
with his usual "here today - gone
tomorrow" attitude about women, Agamemnon then takes the war prize
of Achilleus, the greatest warrior of the entire Greek army,
to
help ease the pain of losing his "toy".
Achilleus's war prize is
the lovely Briseis, another stolen woman from the Greek's journey
to Troy. Achilleus returns to his tent after a hard day of killing
to discover his woman missing.
When Achilleus finds out that
Agamemnon has her, to say Achilleus was not pleased, would be a
severe understatement.
Only with the intervention of Athene, does
Achilleus keep f~om killing Agamemnon and prevent the defeat of the
Greek army in their war against Troy.
Achilleus, pouting and
disappointed that he can't~hack
Agamemnon's head off, refuses to
fight for the mean ol~'
oman stealer, and sits in his tent
drinking wine, playing his lyre, and writing poetry.
Meanwhile,
without their greatest warr~or, the Greek troops are getting the
ever-Iovin' stuffings beaten\ out of them.
End of Book I.
The Iliad:
Book VI
I
Remember Paris?
Not the city, the guy who started the Trojan
War.
At the beginning of B~ok VI, Hektor, brother to Paris, and
one of the noblest Trojans in the entire story, is attempting to
get Paris to quit hiding in the ladies' sewing room and go outside
and fight in the war he started.
Hektor is an honorable man and
dearly loves his family. In the days of arranged marriages, Hektor
has surprisingly fallen deeply in love with his bride, Andromache,
whose entire family has been chopped into tiny little pieces by
Achilleus. (Remember this war has been going on for ten years.)
Paris, properly scolded, puts on his battle gear, but is never
heard about again in Book VI. Hektor, leader of the Trojan troops,
realizes that his life could end that day, and goes to say good-bye
to his wife and little boy. There, on the ramparts of the city of
Troy,
Hektor
and Andromache
tenderly
embrace
and say their
farewells. Andromache's appeal to Hektor, that their son will lose
his inheritance and she might be taken as a "war prize" of the
Greeks, cannot sway this noble warrior.
Unfortunately true of all
great leaders is this fact - the wellfare of the people of the city
comes before his own family.
Hektor returns to the battlefield
with the hope that this day will bring vitory to the Trojans. End
of Book VI.
The Iliad:
Book XVIII
Before Book XVIII begins, several important events take place.
Achilleus is still refusing to fight, and the Trojans have gained
the momentum in the war. Patroklos, who is Achilleus's best friend
and mentor, is now ashamed of Achilleus and tries repeatedly to get
him back into the fight.
Achilleus, who doesn't care about his
friend's op~nion, or if the men he has known all his life are
dying, allows Patroklos to wear his famous and easily recognizable
armor.
Patroklos hopes that the men will believe that Achilleus
6
/
- has returned to the field of battle and this will give them new
inspiration to fight. Great plan - tragic result.
Patroklos,
wearing the armor of Achilleus, but not possessing his invincible
skill, is killed by Hektor on the battlefield.
To make matters
worse, Hektor strips Achilleus's armor from the body of Patroklos
and keeps it as a war prize.
Patroklos's body, before it can be
desecrated by the enemy, is rescued by the Greek army and returned
to the camp where Achilleus
is tolf of his friend's death.
Achilleus is angered beyond measure, and vows to avenge his friend.
Thetis, the goddess mother of Achilleus, does not want her son to
fight any further in the Trojan War for she fears his death.
She tries to prevent his returning to the war, but this time
Achilleus will not be dissuaded from the fight.
Thetis agrees to
help Achilleus do the honorable task of avenging his friend, but
first she will see that the god, Hephaistos, maker of the gods'
weapons to create a new set of armor for her son. The rest of Book
XVIII reads like a giant tapestry of images about the armor,
especially the shield. The description of the shield alone sounds
like a museum curator's tour of the Metropolitan.
End of Book
XVIII.
The Iliad: Book XXII
Armed and extremely
dangerous,
Achilleus
returns to the
battlefield.
He has vowed to kill every Trojan in his path, and
proceeds to keep his promise.
Priam and Hekabe, father and mother
of Hektor and Paris, had tried unsuccessfully to keep Hektor within
the walls of Troy: however, Hektor is determined to fight. Hektor
approaches Achilleus on the battlefield, and when their discussion
escalates to the point of fighting, Hektor realizes, "Gee I could
really get hurt out here", and begins to run.
(Sounds like Forest
Gump) Round and round the walls of Troy run these two "muy Macho"
warriors, until fate, in the form of Athene appears to Achilleus.
Athene, still miffed at the Trojans because of Paris, tells
Achilleus to stop running because she has a plan to trick Hektor.
Athene, who has the capability of changing shapes, tells Achilleus
tha t she will pretend to ,be He.ktor's brother, De iphobos , who has
come to help Hektor fight Achilleus.
Hektor sees his "brother",
stops running, then realizes he has been tricked. Achilleus and
Hektor begin to fight, but Achilleus 'clearly has the advantage due
to Athene's help.
Hektor is mortally wounded and pleads with
Achilleus to return his body to Priam and Hekabe, his parents.
Achilleus not only refuses, but swears, as Hektor breathes bis last
breath, to feed his body to the dogs and vultures.
After Hektor
dies, the entire Greek army comes over and stabs the body. Gross!
Then Achilleus pokes holes in Hektor's ankles, attaches leather
ropes through the holes, and drags Hektor's body behind a chariot
around the walls of Troy, with Hektor's mother, father, and wife
staring at this desecration.
Book XXII ends with Andromache's
speech of grief.
,
~
The Iliad:
Book XXIV
At the beginning of Book XXIV, Patroklos has finally been
given funeral rites, and Achilleus is still, twelve days later,
dragging Hektor's body behind his chariot.
Pretty sick behavior
for a noble Greek warrior!
The gods have had about as much of this
kind of shameless dishonorable display as they can tolerate.
Zeus
finally demands that Thetis, Achilleus's mother, tell her son to
release Hektor's body to his parents.
At the same time, Zeus tells
Hermes to guide Priam, king of Troy and father of Hektor, into the
Greek camp to safely retrieve his son's body.
Made invisible by
the gods, Priam enters Achilleus's tent and throws himself at the
feet of Achilleus to beg for the return of Hektor.
As Priam
speaks, Achilleus is reminded of his own dead father and how he
might have reacted if Achilleus were the slain warrior.
With these
thoughts in mind, Achilleus releases the body of Hektor to Priam
and provides him safe passage out of the Greek camp. Before Priam
leaves, Achilleus acts as an honorable Greek host and serves Priam
a feast, where both men drink and eat together.
Achilleus declares
a twelve day truce in the fighting while Hektor's funeral rites are
performed.
Kassandra,
Hektor's
sister,
Hekabe,
his mother,
Andromache, his wife, and Helen, abducted wife of King Menelaos,
all give eulogies for Hektor praising his honor, strength, and
nobility.
Priam orders the body to be placed on the funeral pyre,
which had to be as tall as the Empire state Building, because the
men of Troy piled up timber for nine days before setting it on
fire. After the fire finally dies down, Hektor's bones are wrapped
in soft purple robes, placed in a golden casket, and buried in a
hollow grave.
Trojan guards are placed at the tomb to prevent the
Greeks from any further desecration of Hektor, while Priam holds a
gloriou~ feast in Hektor's honor.
Thus ends Book XXIV.
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I