SIGN ME UP -I’M A “HUGE” NEW ORLEANS HORNETS FAN!
Have you always dreamed of being on the court during a Hornets game? Do people
laugh at you even when you’re not trying to be funny? Are health clubs and gyms
foreign to you? Are you willing to withstand a little humiliation to support your favorite
team?
If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, the New Orleans Hornet’s, 99.5
WRNO and the WODT the SPORTS MONSTER want to meet you! And we’d like you to
consider joining the Hornet’s game entertainment team.
The New Orleans Hornets, WRNO the rock of New Orleans and WODT the SPORTS
MONSTER are looking for some BIG FANS; no, really the BIGGEST fans. We are
putting together an entertainment team of Clydesdales not Chippendales. If you are an
outgoing man over 21 who loves being the center of attention and has no inhibitions
when it comes to his favorite sports team, please complete the entire application and
either send it with a photo (full length preferably) to 1501 Girod Street, New Orleans,
LA 70113; Attention: Promotions Department or print out this form and bring it
to the audition. All applicants will need to audition on February 19th or February
26 at Tuckers Tavern 635 S. Roman street from 8:00 – 10:00 p.m. For more
information, call (504) 301-4087 or visit www.hornets.com. )
LAST NAME:
FIRST NAME:
ADDRESS:
CITY:
STATE:
ZIP:
TELEPHONE (Home):
BIRTHDATE:
EMAIL:
(Office):
HEIGHT:
OCCUPATION:
WEIGHT:
(Cell):
lbs. PANT SIZE:
COMPANY:
1. What makes you a “HUGE” Hornets Fan?
2. How do your friends describe you?
3. Give an example of a time when you put yourself on the line for the sake of comedy:
SHOE SIZE:
4. Check any of the following that apply:
__ I have been accused at least once of having “plumber’s butt”
__ I have not set foot in a health club or gym for at least 3 years
__ I have painted my face/chest for a sports event
__ I think it is Mardi Gras year round
__ My nickname was once “Tubby,” “Bubba,” “Moose,” or “Lumpy”
__ My comedic antics made me a high school/college legend
__ I have consumed more than 3 lucky dogs in one setting
__ I can touch my toes
__ I can see my toes
__ I frequently humiliate myself in public for the sake of comedy
__ I can do stunts with the rolls in my stomach
__ I do not own ANY health equipment
__ I consider a mufalata an appetizer
__ I try one of EVERYTHING at Jazz Fest
__ My idea of a workout is Beer Mug Raising
__ My wife/girlfriend says I waste too much time watching sports
__ I can name all 29 current NBA teams – in alphabetical order
__ I should be the next host of The Man Show
__ I still own - and wear - a pair of “zubaz” pants
__ I have won a pie/hotdog eating contest
__ I can recite every Chris Farley line in Tommy Boy
__ Homer Simpson is my idol
__ I dream of performing in front of 18,000 Hornets fans
__ I was voted “Class Clown” in high school
__ Nude photos of me are currently posted on the internet
__ I have applied to at least one reality TV show
__ I dream of performing like a Honeybee
__My favorite pastime is performing karaoke on Bourbon Street
__I consider beer as one of the major food groups
__ I will do ANYTHING for beads
5. Circle any of the following celebrities/characters who you resemble either physically or in your personality:
Mikhail Baryshnikov
John Travolta
Drew Carey
Chris Farley
George Wendt (Cheers’ Norm)
Mike Myers
Jim Belushi
Cedric the Entertainer
Danny DeVito
Bernie Mac
Jim Carrey
Curly (The Three Stooges)
Dom Deluise
Fred Flintstone
ReRun (What’s Happenin’)
John Candy
Rodney Dangerfield
Homer Simpson
Jamie Foxx
Frank “the Tank”
Hugo
6. List any past or current nicknames you have owned:
7. How would you describe your sense of humor?
8. Answer the following yes/no questions:
Y
N
Among your friends, are you “the crazy one?”
Y
N
Does a significant portion of your income derive from money won in bar bets?
Y
N
Does the thought of dancing in public scare you?
Y
N
Do people usually refer to you as “Big (insert your name here)?”
Y
N
Do your friends’ wives/girlfriends disapprove of them hanging out with you?
Y
N
Would you consider yourself a loud mouth?
Y
N
When at a sports event do others seated in your section refer to you as “that obnoxious idiot?”
Y
N
Can you laugh at jokes regarding your physique, love life and career or lack thereof?
Y
N
Do you enjoy being the center of attention and humor?
Y
N
Do you think you have what it takes to entertain a stadium filled with sports fans?
Auditions are 2/19 and 2/26 8 pm until 10 pm at Tuckers 635 S. Roman at the
corner of Roman and Poydras. Tucker’s Tavern (504) 522-0440.
Listen to:
99.5 WRNO
“The Rock of New Orleans”
1280 WODT
“The SPORTS MONSTER”