Primary reading

“American Born Chinese” By Gene Leun Yang, 2006.
Secondary
reading

“Meg Jay: Why 30 is Not the New 20?” by Meg Jay,
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Learning focus
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Handouts by
Yu-wen Su
Updated on
June 8, 2016
2012.
■ reading
“American Born Chinese”
by Gene Luen Yang
2006
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/118944.American_Born_Chinese
Source: Gene Leun, Yang.
American Born Chinese.
New York: First Second Books, 2006.
Gene Luen Yang 楊謹倫
(1973-)
Source: <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gene_Luen_Yang>, 2016/6/3
Gene Luen Yang (楊謹倫 born August 9, 1973) is an American writer of graphic novels and comics. Until
recently, he was the Director of Information Services and taught computer science at Bishop O' Dowd High
School in Oakland, California and travels all over the world, speaking about graphic novels and comics at
comic book conventions and universities, schools, and libraries. In 2012, Yang joined the faculty at Hamline
University, as a part of the Low-Residency Master of Fine Arts in Writing for Children and Young Adults
(MFAC) program.
Yang is the son of Chinese immigrants and believes he was born in either Alameda, California or Fremont,
California.[3] His father emigrated from Taiwan and his mother from Hong Kong. They met at the San Jose
State University Library during graduate school and both spent a great deal of time instilling in him a strong
work ethic and reinforcing their Asian culture. In a speech at Penn State, where he spoke as a part of a
Graphic Novel Speaker Series, Yang recalled that both of his parents always told him stories during his
childhood. This set the foundation for Yang's career in comics.
Yang was a part of a small Asian American minority in his elementary school. Yang says that he grew up
wanting to be an animator for Disney. In third grade, he did a biographical report on Walt Disney, which is
where, he jokes, his obsession started. He says that this all changed in fifth grade when his mother took him
to their local book store where she bought him his first comic book, DC Comics Presents Superman, a book
she agreed to buy because Yang's first choice, Marvel Two-In-One (May 1983), featured the characters
Thing and Rom on the cover, which she thought looked too frightening.
Yang attended the University of California, Berkeley for his undergraduate program. He wanted to major in
art but his father encouraged him to pursue a more "practical" field so Yang majored in computer science
with a minor in creative writing. College was a time for Yang that he found himself much less of a minority.
During this time, he began to question his faith but decided to make Jesus his focus during his freshman year.
After graduating in 1995, Yang went to work as a computer engineer for two years. However, after a
five-day silent retreat, he realized he was meant to teach and left his job as an engineer to teach computer
science at a high school. In 1996, Yang began self-publishing his own comics under Humble Comics. Yang
went on to be published with First Second Books an imprint of Macmillan Publishers, Marvel Comics, SLG
Publishing, Dark Horse Comics, Harper teen, The New Press, and Pauline Books & Media.
In 1997, Yang first published comic Gordon Yamamoto and the King of the Geeks under his own imprint,
Humble Comics, and it won him the Xeric Grant, a self-publishing grant for comic book creators. Yang later
published two more installments in the Gordon Yamamoto mini-series and a sequel, Loyola Chin and the
“American Born Chinese” 1
San Peligran Order. In 2010, both Gordon Yamamoto and the King of the Geeks series and Loyola Chin and
the San Pelgrino Order were published together as Animal Crackers by Slave Labor Graphics.
In 2006, Yang published American Born Chinese with :01 First Second Publishing and won the annual
Michael L. Printz Award from the American Library Association recognizing the year's "best book written
for teens, based entirely on its literary merit". It was also the first graphic novel to be a finalist for the
National Book Award, Young People's Literature, and it won an Eisner Award for best new graphic album.
American Born Chinese has since been recognized in many ways. It has been on the Booklist top Ten
Graphic Novel for Youth; NPR Holiday Pick, Publishers Weekly Comics Week Best Comic of the Year, San
Francisco Chronicle Best Book of the Year, The Rueben Award for Best Comic Book, The Chinese
American Librarians Association 2006/2007 Best Graphic Album – New, Time Magazine Top Ten Comic of
the Year, and Amazon.com Best Graphic Novel/Comic of the year.
Yang's other works have been recognized as well. In 2009, Yang was awarded another Eisner Award for best
short story for his collaborative work The Eternal Smile which he wrote and Derek Kirk Kim illustrated.
Yang was nominated for Eisner Awards for both Prime Baby and his collaborative work Level Up. Yang is
currently writing the Avatar: The Last Airbender comics series for Dark Horse Comics, the first volume of
which was released in January 2012. Yang recently finished his new graphic novel, Boxers & Saints, which
was published by First Second Books in September 2013.
Yang is an advocate of the use of comics and graphic novels as educational tools in the classroom. He wrote
his final project for his master's degree at California State, Hayward over this topic in which he emphasizes
the educational strength of comics claiming they are motivating, visual, permanent, intermediary, and
popular. As a part of his Master's project, Yang created an online comic called Factoring with Mr. Yang &
Mosley the Alien as an engaging method of teaching math. This idea came from a time where Yang was
substitute teaching a math class at Bishop O'Dowd. Due to the position of Director of Information Services
he held at the school, he was forced to miss classes and used the comics to help the students learn the
concepts in his absence. The positive feedback he received from the students inspired him to use the idea for
his Master's project. Yang's acclaimed graphic novel, American Born Chinese, has been recommended to
teachers for classroom instruction.
Source: < http://www.sfgate.com/magazine/article/The-Humble-Comic-3214214.php>, 2016/6/3
“The Humble Comic：Gene Yang's Christian take on being American-born Chinese fuels his emerging
comics career,” by Alice C. Chen, May 11, 2008
I'm a bit nervous about interviewing graphic novelist Gene Yang because we have mutual friends. And we're
both Christian. How can I write anything negative about him? What if he turns out to be a jerk?
We first met in 1992, when Yang had just finished his freshman year at Cal and I was entering my junior
year of high school. We were friends of friends, and I don't remember much, except that he was built like a
lamppost and we barely spoke to each other.
We connect again on a recent bright afternoon in front of the Asian branch library in Oakland. Yang greets
me cheerfully and we head to Juice-A-Go-Go on Ninth Street, where I buy a pearl milk tea and Yang orders
nothing. We settle into the flimsy, plastic chairs, and chat under the cheesy melodies of Cantopop. Yang
coughs into the sleeve of his gray Gap fleece, reminding me of an unpretentious college kid. He has a big,
dimpled smile, and is dressed in an outfit purchased by his wife: a blue-and-white striped Ralph Lauren shirt,
“American Born Chinese” 2
khakis and Dockers loafers. He keeps me laughing with his nonstop stories, describing his first graphic novel,
"Gordon Yamamoto and the King of Geeks," about a boy who has a spaceship land in his nose. Yang came
up with the idea because he has a permanently stuffy nose. Then he tries to convince me that he's boring.
Yang says when he first got married, he and his wife always wanted to go clubbing but rarely got out of the
house. Once, they made it to San Francisco, but his wife broke her ankle walking to the club.
All the while I'm thinking - why didn't I get to know this guy years ago?
The only thing that makes me remember that Yang is a superstar, at least in the comic book and literary
universe, is that it's so hard to get hold of him. His book "American Born Chinese," was the first graphic
novel to be nominated for the National Book Award and won the prestigious Printz Award. It sells in 12
countries, including Brazil, the Czech Republic and Norway. ("Really? Who told you that? How come they
don't tell me that?" Yang asks when I mention it later. For the record, his publisher informed me.) The book
may be adapted into a movie. After I heard about "ABC," it took months for us to have a conversation. We
played e-mail tag and he never returned my calls.
Since "ABC's" rise, the 34-year-old has lived at a frenzied pace. In late April, he released a short story, "The
Motherless One," the only graphic tale in "Up All Night," an anthology of teenage literature. He travels to
destinations such as New York and France, speaking at comic book conventions and teen book clubs. Yang
also works full-time as a computer science teacher and director of information services at Bishop O'Dowd, a
Catholic high school in Oakland. (He keeps his job because he enjoys education and says it would be too
isolating to just cartoon.) He's married to Theresa, a former teacher, and they're parents of a 1-year-old
daughter and a 4-year-old son. Every night after the children go to bed, Yang heads to his home office to
sketch thumbnails and write for hours.
Graphic novels, essentially super long, complicated comic books, are one of the fastest-growing categories in
publishing. "Every major New York publishing house has been jumping on the bandwagon (to publish
them)," says Mark Siegel, editorial director at First Second Books, an imprint of Macmillan that published
"ABC." Some would say graphic novels are more literary and serious than comic books. Both "ABC" and
"The Motherless One" involve protagonists searching for identity. Each story suggests looking to God for
answers.
"There is a lot of the dithering that goes on in the blogosphere about whether graphic novels are literature or
not," said young adult novelist M.T. Anderson during his National Book Award acceptance speech in 2006.
"I think that anyone who has read Gene Yang's 'American Born Chinese' can see that it is poignant, it is
sophisticated, it is literature for young people."
Yang's own life is a springboard for many of his stories. As a child of immigrants who encouraged him to
study hard and avoid risks, Yang had the quintessential ABC experience. Yang's father is an electrical
engineer from Taiwan and his mother a programmer who grew up in Hong Kong and Taiwan. They came to
the United States for graduate school and met at the San Jose State University library.
Yang was born in Alameda or Fremont (he can't recall which one) and grew up in a Catholic family in San
Jose and Saratoga. Yang was one of few Asian Americans at his grade school and his classmates taunted him.
Since then, he says he's always been uncomfortable being Chinese. One year, a new student arrived from
Taiwan. The boy didn't speak English, so Yang's teachers wanted him to befriend the boy.
"I really wanted to get away from the kid. He followed me talking in Mandarin," Yang says. "Me and a
friend ended up throwing tan bark, getting him to go away."
Yet at home, his parents kept their culture alive through storytelling. His mom read him books her parents
shipped over from Taiwan, and his father improvised scatological stories (loosely autobiographical) about
Ah Tong, a Taiwanese village boy forced to do a lot of chores.
“American Born Chinese” 3
Yang started drawing as a toddler, and in second grade, he and a friend created several hundred cartoon
characters with big noses and sunglasses they called "wee bees." Ignoring sports, music and other interests,
Yang drew for several hours each day. "I doodled a lot in class," he says.
Yang's earliest dreams were to become an animator, but he developed an obsession with comics in fifth
grade, when his mother bought him his first comic book. Yang had pushed her to buy a book about the Thing,
but she thought it was too scary. Instead, she bought him a Superman rag. She didn't realize that the issue
focused on the atomic bomb obliterating much of humankind.
Yang started collecting Smurfs, Transformers and Spider-man comics, but the accumulating was interrupted
in junior high, when a friend told Yang comic books were geeky. This friend had a girlfriend, so Yang
listened to him.
In high school, the zeal for comics re-emerged. Yang, like many of his Asian American classmates, enrolled
at Foothill Community College to study math and science in the summers before taking the classes for high
school credit. Yang's parents allowed him to elect one fluff course, so Yang picked up a cartooning class. He
also worked in the men's clothing department of Montgomery Ward to fund his comics addiction, and soon
acquired a couple thousand magazines, including small runs of the Hulk, Uncle Scrooge and the Spirit.
"It's almost like a puzzle," Yang says. "The last couple of pieces, you want to find them and put them in the
right place."
He went as far as buying acid-free backboards and plastic sleeves in which to store the books, but he's quick
to mention that his collection is nothing compared with those of true fans.
"Honestly. People collecting at my age have whole garage fulls," Yang says.
In college, Yang hoped to major in art, but instead chose computer science with a minor in creative writing.
"My dad said, 'Do something practical. After graduation, I'll leave you alone,' " Yang recalls.
Yang gave up his animation dream after taking a class and realizing how tedious the work was. Yang
focused on comics because they were more story-driven and he could create them independently.
College was also a time when Yang encountered an incredibly diverse pool of people and ideas, which
forced him to ask questions such as, "Does God exist?" and "How do I live my life?"
Yang finally made a decision about God during an InterVarsity Christian Fellowship retreat his freshman
year, right after he finished walking through the woods "to pee," as he puts it.
"It wasn't intellectual. Something just hit under the starry sky," Yang said. "Nature is profound."
He decided to make Jesus the center of his life.
After graduating, Yang volunteered as an InterVarsity staff member for a year and worked a day job as an
engineer for a firm in Emeryville. At the end of his volunteering stint, he and the other staff workers prayed
about their futures. "Publishing a comic book came up for me. It was always a lifelong dream. I had to
publish one book before I died," Yang recalls.
Two years into his engineering job, Yang attended a five-day silent retreat where he tried to figure out God's
plan for his life. "When you don't talk, your thoughts become clear. It's a gradual process. A media and noise
detox," Yang explains. "It was a feeling." Ignoring letters his father sent him that included newspaper
clippings about engineering salaries, Yang quit his job and began teaching.
Four years and four projects later, Yang started "ABC." Initially, he planned to make copies of the book and
sell it at comic conventions. At most, he'd self-publish or go with a small publishing company. But a friend,
“American Born Chinese” 4
Derek Kirk Kim, an award-winning cartoonist, sent "ABC" to Siegel and called him repeatedly until he read
it. Publisher Siegel saw Yang's talent immediately.
"He has a sense of command as a storyteller," Siegel says. "His artwork has an iconic quality, very clean and
crisp. There's also a humor and humanity to it. It should speak to people well outside of the comics world.
There are human things, big things, issues of race, being true to yourself, the masks we put on.
"When I first read "ABC," I was surprised by Yang's boldness. I often find that God, especially Jesus, is an
incendiary topic. When I tell Yang about portions of this story, he asks, "Are you allowed to talk about God
that much? They're not going to get mad at you?"
But Yang's the one who includes God in "ABC," even alluding to Psalm 139: "I was, I am, and I shall
forever be. I have searched your soul, little monkey. I know your most hidden thoughts. I know when you sit
and when you stand, when you journey and when you rest. Even before a word is upon your tongue, I have
known it. My eyes have seen all your days."
Yang says he always struggles with balancing faith and work. He didn't want to proselytize, but he wanted to
capture why so many of his Asian American peers are Christian.
"As Asian Americans, we don't feel like we belong in the culture we find ourselves in, or our parents'
culture," Yang says. "To know that God intended you, that's powerful."
Siegel thinks Yang is adept at integrating God in his work.
"There's humor. The Monkey King pees on the hand of God," Siegel says. "With evangelical comics, I just
feel there's a heavy hand wielding a message. But with Gene, it's not. First and foremost, he's a storyteller. If
you go digging, there are unsuspecting depths to his work."
During a short ride in Yang's Toyota on the way to the Oakland City Center BART station, Yang asks
whether my faith has hindered me from building relationships with other journalists.
"My faith?" I ask. "It's not like I'm telling people they should accept Jesus Christ. But if it comes up, we talk
about it."
Yang doesn't say much in response, but his question - and his life - leave me wondering whether I should be
more bold with my faith.
You're likely to hear more about Yang in the future.
He's working on three projects, including one loosely based on his brother's experiences in medical school,
and a historical epic set in the time of the Boxer Rebellion.
"He's going to knock a few socks off in his next couple of projects," Siegel says.
In the short time I spent with Yang, I didn't discover a sinister, obnoxious or even an annoying side. Our
friend Pin Chou confirms it. "He reached out to me when we were in the same fellowship in college," Chou
wrote in an e-mail. "I was one of the quieter kids and he always talked or joked with me." Success and fame
haven't changed Yang's character, Chou adds, "No change in Gene. ... He is still a dorky bud."
Yang named his cartooning company Humble Comics. When asked about the importance of humility, the
first thing he says is he's no good at it.
Pre-reading discussion:
“American Born Chinese” 5
1.
Do you have the experience that you enter a new environment where you did not feel like you fit in?
Please describe this experience and explain how you deal with it.
2.
What is a “stereotype”? What are the stereotypes existing in our society or in other societies?
3.
Have you been stereotyped or stereotyped others? Please share one of your experiences.
4.
Do you know the story of Monkey King? If yes, what is the most impressing part of the story to you?
5.
Did you have quarrels with your best friends or family members? How did you deal with that situation?
Questions for the reading:
6.
Please illuminate this line “It’s easy to become anything you wish, so long as you’re willing to forfeit
your soul” (29) with the examples of characters in the story.
7.
Point out and discuss the stereotypes in the story. How are the characters affected by those stereotypes?
8.
Why does the Monkey King disguise himself as Chin-Kee to approach Danny and what is Chin-Kee’s
function?
9.
How have Jin Wang, Wei-chen the Monkey King changed or developed over the story?
10. Compare and contrast the three stories and analyze how they blend into one at the end of the work.
Post-reading discussion:
11. What options do you think Wei-chen will take afterwards? Please share your version of the story in
your group.
12. Are you satisfied with who you are? Have you ever thought of becoming another person? Why or why
not?
13. Why do human beings feel the need to belong to and “fit in” a community? How can we strike a
balance between the longing to fit in and keeping our individuality?
14. Will you stand out to defend for what you believe for yourself or your group/community? Why or why
not?
“Meg Jay: Why 30 is Not the New 20”
by Meg Jay
2012
https://medium.com/myreads-reviews/myreads-july-20
15-bc7224476712#.35qg97rru
Source: <https://www.ted.com/talks/meg_jay_why_30_is_not_the_new_20?language=zh-tw>, 2016/6/3
1
When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical
psychology at Berkeley. She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex. Now Alex walked into her first
session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked
“American Born Chinese” 6
off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so
relieved. My classmate got an arsonist for her first client. And I got a twentysomething who wanted to
talk about boys. This I thought I could handle. But I didn't handle it. With the funny stories that Alex
would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the
road. "Thirty's the new 20," Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right. Work happened
later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. Twentysomethings like
Alex and I had nothing but time.
2
But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life. I pushed back. I said,
"Sure, she's dating down, she's sleeping with a knucklehead, but it's not like she's going to marry the
guy." And then my supervisor said, "Not yet, but she might marry the next one. Besides, the best time
to work on Alex's marriage is before she has one." That's what psychologists call an "Aha!" moment.
That was the moment I realized, 30 is not the new 20. Yes, people settle down later than they used to,
but that didn't make Alex's 20s a developmental downtime. That made Alex's 20s a developmental
sweet spot, and we were sitting there, blowing it. That was when I realized that this sort of benign
neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for Alex and her love life but for the
careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere.
3
There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now. We're talking about 15 percent
of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without
going through their 20s first.Based on what is often written on blogs, websites, and social media,
Taiwanese women seem to have gained a negative reputation. This view of Taiwanese doesn’t seem
to be held just by men in the West, but frequently by Asian expats as well. So what are Taiwanese
girls really like?
4
Raise your hand if you're in your 20s. I really want to see some twentysomethings here. Oh, yay! You
are all awesome. If you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, you're losing sleep
over twentysomethings, I want to see — Okay. Awesome, twentysomethings really matter. So, I
specialize in twentysomethings because I believe that every single one of those 50 million
twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertility
specialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things
you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.
5
This is not my opinion. These are the facts. We know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments
take place by age 35. That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and "Aha!"
moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s. People who are over 40,
don't panic. This crowd is going to be fine, I think. We know that the first 10 years of a career has an
exponential impact on how much money you're going to earn. We know that more than half of
Americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30. We know that the brain
caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means
that whatever it is you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. We know that
personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female
fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35. So your 20s are the time to educate
yourself about your body and your options.
6
So when we think about child development, we all know that the first five years are a critical period
for language and attachment in the brain. It's a time when your ordinary, day-to-day life has an
inordinate impact on who you will become. But what we hear less about is that there's such a thing as
adult development, and our 20s are that critical period of adult development. But this isn't what
twentysomethings are hearing. Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood.
“American Born Chinese” 7
Researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence. Journalists coin silly nicknames for
twentysomethings like "twixters" and "kidults."
7
It's true! As a culture, we have trivialized what is actually the defining decade of adulthood. Leonard
Bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time. Isn't that true?
So what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, "You have
10 extra years to start your life"? Nothing happens. You have robbed that person of his urgency and
ambition, and absolutely nothing happens. And then every day, smart, interesting twentysomethings
like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: "I know my
boyfriend's no good for me, but this relationship doesn't count. I'm just killing time." Or they say,
"Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time I'm 30, I'll be fine."
8
But then it starts to sound like this: "My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself. I
had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college." And then it starts to sound like this:
"Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. Everybody was running around and having fun, but then
sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. I didn't want
to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes I think I married my husband because he was the
closest chair to me at 30." Where are the twentysomethings here? Do not do that. Okay, now that
sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high. When a lot has been pushed to your
30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career, pick a city, partner up, and
have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time. Many of these things are incompatible, and as
research is just starting to show, simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.
9
The post-millennial midlife crisis isn't buying a red sports car. It's realizing you can't have that career
you now want. It's realizing you can't have that child you now want, or you can't give your child a
sibling. Too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves, and at me, sitting across
the room, and say about their 20s, "What was I doing? What was I thinking?" I want to change what
twentysomethings are doing and thinking.
10
Here's a story about how that can go. It's a story about a woman named Emma. At 25, Emma came to
my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis. She said she thought she might like
to work in art or entertainment, but she hadn't decided yet, so she'd spent the last few years waiting
tables instead. Because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than
his ambition. And as hard as her 20s were, her early life had been even harder. She often cried in our
sessions, but then would collect herself by saying, "You can't pick your family, but you can pick your
friends."
11
Well one day, Emma comes in and she hangs her head in her lap, and she sobbed for most of the hour.
She'd just bought a new address book, and she'd spent the morning filling in her many contacts, but
then she'd been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words "In case of emergency,
please call ..." She was nearly hysterical when she looked at me and said, "Who's going to be there for
me if I get in a car wreck? Who's going to take care of me if I have cancer?" Now in that moment, it
took everything I had not to say, "I will." But what Emma needed wasn't some therapist who really,
really cared. Emma needed a better life, and I knew this was her chance. I had learned too much since
I first worked with Alex to just sit there while Emma's defining decade went parading by. So over the
next weeks and months, I told Emma three things that every twentysomething, male or female,
deserves to hear.
12
First, I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. By "get
identity capital," I mean do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that's an
investment in who you might want to be next. I didn't know the future of Emma's career, and no one
“American Born Chinese” 8
knows the future of work, but I do know this: Identity capital begets identity capital. So now is the
time for that cross-country job, that internship, that startup you want to try. I'm not discounting
twentysomething exploration here, but I am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count,
which, by the way, is not exploration. That's procrastination. I told Emma to explore work and make it
count.
13
Second, I told Emma that the urban tribe is overrated. Best friends are great for giving rides to the
airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers limit who they know, what
they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work. That new piece of capital, that new
person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle. New things come from what are
called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends. So yes, half of twentysomethings are un- or
under-employed. But half aren't, and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group. Half of new
jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor's boss is how you get that unposted job. It's
not cheating. It's the science of how information spreads.
14
Last but not least, Emma believed that you can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends. Now
this was true for her growing up, but as a twentysomething, soon Emma would pick her family when
she partnered with someone and created a family of her own. I told Emma the time to start picking
your family is now. Now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20,
or even 25, and I agree with you. But grabbing whoever you're living with or sleeping with when
everyone on Facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress. The best time to work on your
marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work.
Picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it
work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.
15
So what happened to Emma? Well, we went through that address book, and she found an old
roommate's cousin who worked at an art museum in another state. That weak tie helped her get a job
there. That job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend. Now, five years later, she's a
special events planner for museums. She's married to a man she mindfully chose. She loves her new
career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, "Now the emergency contact blanks
don't seem big enough." Now Emma's story made that sound easy, but that's what I love about
working with twentysomethings. They are so easy to help. Twentysomethings are like airplanes just
leaving LAX, bound for somewhere west. Right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the
difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji. Likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation,
one good break, one good TED Talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations
to come.
16
So here's an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething you know. It's as simple as what I learned
to say to Alex. It's what I now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like Emma every
single day: Thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak
ties, pick your family. Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do. You're deciding your
life right now. Thank you.
Meg Jay
Source: < http://megjay.com/about/ >, 2016/6/3
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Meg Jay, PhD is a Clinical Psychologist and narrative non-fiction writer. In her books, Jay weaves the latest
research on human development with what she hears everyday: the behind-closed-doors stories of real
people. In her writings, Jay reveals the complex realities that lie behind stereotypes and misconceptions
about modern life, changing the conversation about topics such as whether young adulthood matters and how
resilience really works and feels.
In “The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them Now”, Jay
elevated what it means to be a twentysomething as she argued that, rather than a developmental downtime,
the twenties are a developmental sweetspot. The Defining Decade has sold more than 200,000 copies, and
inspired one of the most-watched TED talks to date–“Why 30 Is Not the New 20”—with nearly six million
views in the first year alone.
Her upcoming “Supernormal: The Secret World of the Heroic Child” is a revolutionary and illuminating
examination of those who have overcome childhood adversity to become high-functioning adults.
Supernormal will transform the way the world thinks about resilience as it shows that “falling up” is both
more common and more complex than we acknowledge.
Jay earned a doctorate in Clinical Psychology, and in Gender Studies, from the University of California,
Berkeley, and a B.A. with High Distinction in Psychology from the University of Virginia. Her work has
appeared in numerous media outlets including the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, USA Today,
Psychology Today, and on NPR.
Jay is an assistant clinical professor at the University of Virginia, and maintains a private practice in
Charlottesville, Virginia.
Source: <http://www.huffingtonpost.com/meg-jay/9-ways-twentyomethings-sc_b_1431110.html>, 2016/6/3
“9 Ways Twentysomethings Screw Up Their Lives”, by Meg Jay, in 2012
30 is not the new 20. 80% of life’s most defining decisions are made by age 35. 70% of lifetime wage growth
happens in the first ten years of a career. More than half of Americans are married, or are dating or living
with their future partner by age 30. The brain caps off its last growth spurt in our 20s. Personality changes
more in our 20s than any time before or after.
As a clinical psychologist who specializes in twentysomethings, I’ve spent more than 10 years listening to
the behind-closed-doors stories of hundreds of twentysomething women and men. In The Defining Decade:
Why Your Twenties Matter—and How to Make the Most of Them Now, I share what psychologists,
sociologists, economists, neurologists, human resources executives, and fertility specialists know about the
unique power of our 20s and how they define our lives. Your 20s are a time when the things you do—and the
things you don’t do—will have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come. Here are 9
things that so many twentysomethings do that mess up their lives:
Spending all your time with your urban tribe--you're not at Burning Man!
Twentysomethings are in almost constant communication with the same few people, but those who huddle
together with like-minded peers limit themselves. New information and opportunities--and dates--come from
e-mailing your aunt's neighbor or having coffee with that friend of a friend from college. The urban tribe is
overrated. Twentysomethings who won't ask outsiders for advice and favors and invitations fall behind those
who will.
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Hoping that Powerball ticket will make your dreams come true
"What would I do with my life if I won the lottery?" is about what you would do with your life if money and
talent didn't matter. They do. The question twentysomethings really need to ask themselves is "What would I
do with my life if I didn't win the lottery?" What do you do well enough to support the life you want and
what do you enjoy enough that you won't mind working at it, in some form or another, for decades to come?
Stalking on Facebook (and then sulking at home)
Facebook's most frequent visitors often use it for social surveillance, as a way of checking up on people
rather than as a way of catching up. Social spying bombards us with upward social comparisons, ones where
our nights sitting on the couch with a Lean Cuisine watching TV--and surfing Facebook--feel low compared
to the high life it seems everyone else is leading (at least in the photos). See Facebook pages for what they
are, as one of my clients calls them: "self-advertisements." You have to be aware of what you're seeing--and
what you're not seeing--or else you'll never get off the couch and face the real world.
Dating losers
Too many twentysomethings have low-criteria or no-criteria relationships because they don't think who they
date in their 20s matters. But dating down is dangerous when a series of bad relationships leaves us damaged
and depressed--or when suddenly that person we never had any intention of staying with starts to look better
than starting over. Find someone you deserve and who is worth it.
Being "too cool" for a desk job
That part-time bartending job and/or pet grooming gig isn't a longterm economic plan. Twentysomething
unemployment and underemployment isn't cool. Maybe you imagine you'll get it together one day but
salaries peak--and plateau--in our 40s, so people who start careers in their 30s never catch up with those who
started earlier.
Spending too much time with your Playstation
The brain caps off its last growth spurt during our 20s, but that doesn't mean twentysomethings ought to wait
around for their brains to grow up. Our 20s are wiring us to be the adults we will be. So step away from the
videogames and pick up a book. These are use-it-or-lose years when neurons that fire together wire together.
Whatever you want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it.
Shacking up too early
I know, I know. You don't want to hear this one. It's just so convenient and fun--and cheap--to live together.
But the numbers don't lie. Couples who cohabitate before becoming engaged are less satisfied and committed
in their marriages--and are more likely to divorce--than couples who don't. Standards for a live-in partner are
lower than for a spouse but, once couples split the rent and the dog, staying together seems easier than hitting
the bars (or the internet) again, especially when friends start walking down the aisle.
Acting like you're on a reality tv show
Cool it on the dramatics. The twentysomething brain finds negative information--such as reprimands from
bosses and rejections from lovers--more memorable and exciting than positive information Don't stoke the
drama via Gchat and text messages. Teach your still-forming brain to calm itself down with what is going
right. Twentysomethings who can control their emotions keep their jobs and relationships. Take up yoga. Or
get a therapist. Or read a book on mindfulness. You're getting too old to freak out all the time. Tantrums are
for teenagers.
Ignoring your ovaries
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Everyone in Hollywood may be doing it but you don't live in Hollywood or have three nannies or earn
enough money to pay for fertility treatments in Beverly Hills. Did you know female fertility peaks at 28?
That ≤ of your fertility is gone by age 35? That the average cost of fertility treatments at age 40 is $100,000?
That half of childless couples wish they weren't childless? Planning to deal with kids at 40 is no plan.
Empower yourself. Learn about your fertility in your 20s. Do the math.
1.
According to the speaker, why is it important to point out that thirty is not the new twenty? What are
her reasons?
2.
What impressed you the most in her speech?
3.
According to the speaker, what are the stereotypes or misconceptions people have during their
twentysomething? Have you perceived anything similar in Taiwan?

What are the expectations you had before entering college? Do you realize all your expectations, why or
why not?

What do you want to achieve before graduating from the university? Why?

How do you manage your time in this semester? Are you satisfied with your management? Why or why
not?
“American Born Chinese” 12