AMY TAN
(born 1952)
As r teel gcr growing up in a ChineseAmericanf:tmily, An1y
*
Tan rried desperatelyto blend into the Anrcrican worid of "hor
dogsxnd appleprc." Shcevenconsidcredhavbg plastrcsirrscry to
makeher liarurcs look more Arnerican.yet shegraduallycamero
! " l u L h e , , u l r u , "h e r i - r g ,a n <rt r n o r o C h i r rr h i n . n c w : . r h r n 1 _
l,\, hLipcd
T - , , o r e d i v o r e rh e rC h i n ( s er o u ( : .
In 198s. T:tn-wLo was workins as :t treel3n.c business
lr'rltcr-decided ro try her hand at writing 6ction. ln 1985,shc
s u b n r ' , e -d. r o r ) o J \ ^ r i r i l g! \ o r l , h o p .O u r o f r r r r r . r o r ) q.
lu.l,
e \ c n r u J l lh\ e , " r n cR L l c . o f r t e G J m c . . s h i d e \ e t o p , d h
pe
o ,p u L r
and acclaincdfirst novel, TheJoy L ehCtub. Many of the.at-esnr
the rovel locus on mother-daughterrclarionshipswithjn Chinese
A e,:. ,a f"nr:li(,. rhfy exptorebo,h rhejoys ;d diflitutLjc.ofJ
dLdl h.'rLrpe-parri.uLrly rhc .rruget.. of *rond_gcneraLJon
1 n c n . r , , . s n o , c c ri o r r t e r q e . r r u n w r l s o f h f e .
RULESOF THEGAME
M ' n o t h e ri n p J f l c dh e , d a r t rr r r r h cs o . h e , o u l dh n p n 1
,
old"' bro'he,,rnd mc n,e rboveour ,,rcumvrn.e,
W_eiived
in SanFrarcisco'sChinatown,loDWavertyplace,rhe
str.'et lor which I ras named_Vavcrlv rvas my officiat name for
irnport:rntAmericandocumerts;my fanily caliedme Mej_mei,the
"iiftl€
sisrcr."Like mosr ofrhe other Chinesechiidrenwho piayed
in drc back alleysofresrauranrsand curio shops.I didnt rhtnk-we
were poor. Our rwo-bedroomflat was warm and clean,and I ate
three fivc-cou$e mealsevery day, begilDing with a soup full of
mysrcrrousrhings I didn't waft ,o kDow rhe namesof.
f i ' . $ i r e n- ) m o , e r r r r r g hm
r e r \ e C h , n e . er n o ,
. . 1.""
rr,\ r,,bieireDgrh.I- wa( a strJribyfor wrnninEarsLmerrr,.
re,pccr
1. ChiMrom:
th€ l2-block squarcChincscdistrid ot $n trdcisco.
79
frorn others, :rnd eventually,though ieither ofus knew it at the
time, chessgames.
"Bitc
back your tongue," hased my mother when 1 cried
ioudln yankingher hand toward thc sto.c that sold bagsofsalted
candy plums. Ar home shc said, "Wisc guy, he not go against
wind. In Chinese,we sry come fiom south, blow uith s'indpoom!-north will aollow. StroDgestwind camot be sec."
The next week I bit back my tongue as we enteredthe store
witb the forbiddencandies.When my mother finlshedher shoppins, shequictiy piuckeda snall bag ofplums from the rrck and
put it on rhe counterwith thc rcst oithe iieds.
Mv oldestbrother,Vnrcent,was thc onc who actuallygot dre
chessset. lt was Christmas.The inissionar_\,
ladies of the First
ChineseBrptist ChLrrchhad put tog€ther a Santabag of gifrs
donatedby membcrsofanolher churchard had organizeda parry.
One of thc ChDeseparishionershad domed a SantaClaus
costurneand a stifTpaperbeardwith conon ballsslued .o jr. I think
the only .hildro who believedhe was the real thing wcrc too
young to know Santa*-asn1 Chinese.
Whenit was my turn. the Sanir man askedmehow old I was.
I thought it was a trick question;I was.sevehaccordirg to the
Americanformula and eight bv thc Chi.ese calendar'.I sajdI wrs
born on March 7, 1951.That sccmedto saiisfyhjm. He then solemnly askedifl had beena very good lirde girl this yearand did I
believcin JcsusChrisr and obey my parents.I kncw the only answer io that. I noddedbrck with equalsolemnity.
Having watchedthe other childrcn opening their gif*, I a1readykrew that thc big gfts were not necessarily
the nicestones.
I peerediDto thc sack and chosea heaw, coDpacr box rhat was
wrappcdin shiny silverfoil and tied with a red satinribbon. k was
a ts'clvc-packoflife Savers;I spcntthe restofthe parry:rnangJng
thc candytubesin the order ofmy ftvolites. My brorher Winsron
chosewisely as wcll. He got :ln aurhmri. mniaturc replicaof a
wodd War II submlrine.
VincenCschesssct would have beena very dcccntpresentto
get at a churchChristmesparty, exceptihat it was obvioLrslyused
2, Chinese€ls.ld:
the Chinesellnar crlcndf, vhich diller from the Wstern
(Gr.sorirn) nt{ clendd.
80
and. rs wc discoveredlatcr, it was nissing a black pawn ard a
\{{ire knight. M-v rnother gracious}ythrnkcd the nknown bcne"Too good. Cosl loo much." At which point, an
factress,sayirg,
old lady with hnc, whire, rvispy hair nodded toward our familv
'M!'rry, merry Christmrs
and srid with a whisrling whisper,
When wc got hon1e,my mother told Vin.eit to thiow the
"Shenot want it- \Venot want it," shesaid.tossng
chessset ava,v.
her headsrilly to the sidc with a tight, proud snile My brothers
had deaf errs. They were a1r*dy lining up the chesspiccesand
readingtbe dog-erredinstnrctionbook
"Me nextl" I bcggedbetweengames-Vinc€nt at first refused
ro lct ne pla;'..but when I offeredmy Life Savcrsrs replacements
lor the buttons that filied in lor missing pieces.he relented He
choseth€ thvors: wlld chcrry for the black prwn and Peppcrmnt
tor the whrtc kDighr. Thc winner could cat both
As ouf mother sprinklcd flour rnd rollcd out smal1,doughy
circlesfor tbe srcameddumplings that wouid be our dinncr that
night, Vincent explainedthe rulcs. poiming to eachchesspiece
"You hrve sixt€cnpieces,and so do l. The pawns can only move
fors'ard one step. cxcepton tire ftrst move. TheD rhey can Dove
"
two. ljut they can only take other men b\i movnrg diagonaily
"Why can't thcy move morc srcps?"1ashedas I moved my
Pawr."'Becausc
they're prwns." he said.
"But wh)' do they go diagonallyto take othe. mcn? wly
aren\ thcrc ary wonen md childrenT"
"Why is the sky blue?Why must you alrl':ys askstupidques"This is a game.Thescarc the rules l didn't
tjons?"sxid Vincent.
make them up. Sce.Here. In the book.' Fle3abbeda p:gc with a
"Pawr. P-A-V/-N. Rcadit yourseli"
pawn in his hand.
"Lel me secbook,"
My mothcr pattedlhe flour olTherhands.
she said quietly. She scennedthe Peg€squickly. rot readingthc
foreign English syrnbols,seemingto deiiberatclysearchfor nothing in particular.
"Ths Americ;rn rutes," she concludedat last. "Every time
peoplecome our from foreign country, musr khow rules You not
know, judge say too bad, go back. They lot telling you why so
you canusetheii aay go forward. They saydon't knolv why, you
fiDd our yours.lt But they knowiry all thc time. Better you take
it, find out why yourself." Shererurncdthe book wlth a satisfied
smile.
I tburd oLlr rbour all thc rh,vs larer. I lerrned rbour openrrg
noves a:rd rvhv it's iDportanr to conlrol rhe cenler e.lrl! on; d1e
sh,:rrest clistancebctnccn two points is streigh! dorn the midllle.
I ie:rrned rbout the niddle ganc :nd ivhv taciics betrvcen rr-o
advcrsrdcs arc like cl*hirg riiersr the on: whc plxvs best hrs thr
r:lerrest pians lor both attackng rnd gerting out otrraps. i leanred
wht ii is essential ir tbc cndgrmc' to hevc forcsight, a mr$cnlarical uirdersianditrgofatl possible mov.s. aDd paticnccl allrveakrlesses3nd rdvanmges beconie evidcnt to a sti:ong idvcrsar,v arrd rrc
obscufed io.r iiring opponert. I discovrrcd that for rlr. whol. g?nr.
oDc nusr gatb$ invisible shengths 3nd sce the endgamc bcloLc thc
"rvh_r"
I also foLrnd out rvhy I sliouid nc.r'crrcvcrl
to othex
A Iittle knorviedge rvithheld is r grert rdvantage onc should sti,rc
for titure use. Thrt is the powef .if.t(ss. It is 3 !:aBc oasccrcc in
\rhich orc nrust show 3nd neler tll.
One .old spdns aftenoon rvhrlc walkrlg bome lron school,
I dctourcd through the plavground rt the cnd ofour allcv and sen
trvo oJd rncr playirrg chess.They rvereseatedacros a tbldnrg rablc.
surrourded by orher oid meD $oking pipcs, crurg pcaruts, atd
watching.
I frn homc xrd grabbed V cerr's chc$ sct. I also carclulh
sclcctedtwo prizcd ro]ls ofLife Savers.I cam6 back ro the prrk ard
rpproachcd r man who was observing the ganie.
"l0]mr playi"
I askcd him. His iace {'ideoed witb surpnse,
rnd he gr ned:rs hc lookcd at the box uuder nry ]rL.
"Little
'
sister, been a iong timc sincc I pla,vv'ith dolls, he srid.
sniling bclrevolentlv. I qLrickh put thc box dosn ncxr to him on
tlic bcnch and opcned it, displaying rny rctorr.
Lru l' o, vhich he r1lorve.l 1ne to call hrn, tu;ned out to bc a
much better plaver than mti brotbers. I losr mitry g.nnes rrd Dao,/
Life Srvcrs. But over fie ivceks, rvith cach dimnr$hing roll of
candy, I rdded neiv secreis.Lau Po qr1'c nlc thc nancs: Thc doublc
.rttrck from the east ancl west sliorcs. Ihrowiig
stoies or $e
dror-ning man. Thc sLrdrienrneetng ofthe chn. Ttre urprise iioor
dlc -dcepingsnard. Thc hurnble servrnt thrt ki11s&e king. Srnd iD
the eyes of aclvancing for..s. A riouble killing $ithour bloo.i.
3. endga.r€:dr€tmi $agcsof r gtrn. of chcls.
a2
Thcre were alsothe fine poiDtsofchess eriquette Keep caPt red men in ncat rows, as weit-tendedprisoners.Never an"check"l with vanity, lest someonewith an unseensword
rounce
slit your throat. N€ver hurl piecesinto the sandbox after vou have
lost I game,bccausethen yoB must find them again,by yoursett'
afterapologizingto all aroundyou. By the cnd ofsummer, Lru Po
had taughtme ail he knew, andI had becomea bettercbessphyer'
A smxllweekcndcrowd ofChinesepeoplernd rouristswould
m) opponcnrsone b! o"e. My
qrrher: I pl"yedand deferLed
ino't . wouta;jo;' rne c.owds dunns rhi.e ourdooreYnibitron
games.She sat proudly on the bench, relling my admilers with
"ls iuck."
proper Chinesehumility,
A man who watched me in thc park suggestedtha. my
mothe. a[ow mc to phy i.r local chesstournaments.My mothcr
smiled graciously,an answerthat meantnothing. I wanted to go,
but I knerv shc would not let me play amollg strangers So I bit
back my tongue.As we wrlked horne, I told her in a small voice
that I didn't went to ptay in thelocaltournament.They would have
Americanrules, I said. and if I lost, I would bring shameon mv
famity.
"Is shane, you fa1ldown nobody pushyou," saidmy mother.
Duing my {irst toumament, my moiher sat wi$ me in the
frort row asI waited for mv turn. I frequeotlybouncedmy legsto
unstick them frod the cold oetal seatofthe folding chair. When
my namewas called,I lept up. My mother unwraPpedsonething
in her lap. k was her chang,a small tabletofredjade thxt held the
"Is luck," she whisperedand tucked it into my dress
sun's 6re.
pocket.I turDedro my opPonen! a fifteeFyearold boy from Oaklind. He looked at me, t-inklins his nose
As I beganto Play,the boy disapp€rred,the color mn out of
the roon, and I only saw my white piccesrnd his black oncs
pasl my
wairins on the oiher side. A iigbt wind begrn blowing
"Blow from fie
hear.
eus. Ii whispered secretsonly I could
"The wind leavesno trail." I saw e clear
sou&," it murmured.
"Shhh! Shhhl" saidthc
path. the trapsto avoid.The crowd rustled.
"Throw sandfrom
iomen ofthe room. The wind biew stronger.
the €astto dishct him." The knight cme forward ready for the
"Blow, blow' blow
sacrifice.The wind hissed,louder and louder'
4. "ch€ct"t
king
lronounc€d by r cnessplayer whe! tbrstening the oppoDetfs
83
Fie canrot see. He is blind rorv. Makc liim lcrn away iion tiic
'
wind so he is easier to krock do$'n.
"ilheci.'
I said rs the u,nd rorred wrth 1a'.rghter.The wind
rlicd dorn tc lirtlc puffs, ml orvn brcath.
Mr mothcr placcd mv first trophv ncxt to a ncrr piastic clcx
set that th,- neighborhood 1io Society had giren me. As she \rjped
"Next
each pie.e \vith r soft .]orh, shc srid,
tinle rvjn more.
k r s el e i s . '
"N4a.
"So
it's not horv mrny piecesvou lose," i s,ti.l.
ctines
you Deed to lose pieces to ger uhe.rd."
"Better
to lose less, s€e if vou re:ril] Deed."
A t t b e n e x t l o l r r n a m € n t .I w o n 3 g a n ) ,b u r i t w a s m _ vm o t h c r
raho r..'orethe triumphant grur.
"Losc
eight pi.-cc this dil.. Last rimc wrs elevcn. Wha.l tell
lletter
otTlosc 1cssl" I r.ras aunoyed, but I couldn't say rn,v,vou7
i atterded more to,rrnameDts, crch one frr*ler awav iiom
rll dn-lsioDs. The Chnrese bxkery
home. I i"c,n rll the games,
ftoll'
ouf
o:rt
displayed
my growing collection ol trodo$nstalls
phics in thelr windou', amid thc dList covcred cakesthat q'crc rcrer
plckcd up. Thc day atler I ivon an imporrant rcgioral tourDlmerlt,
thc w;Idoli showcased a fresh rhcet.:!ke B,nh whipped-cre:ll
"aongratuhtiorls,
liostiDg and red script sa)ing
Waverlv "]or)g,
CliinxrowD Chess Chllnlpior." Sooli after thrt, r llorvei shop,
hQdstone clgr;rver. and flnleral parlor ofiired to sponso. me in tbe
national toLrrnaments.That's whell mr mother decided I rro longer
had to do the dlshes. Winstoll:rnd Vincent had to do mv chores.
"why
does rhe get to Flay atld we do rll th€ work?' .onF
"ls
nerv Anerican rules," said rny mother.
squeezerll her brains our fbr !'in chess. You plal
"Mei-nrei play,
r'orth squcczc
EI my ninth birthda),, I:rias a aarioral clrcsschampio!. I wa:i
!ti1l sone 129 poinls 3\\,3,r iiom grandmastei stirtus, but I \'.s
touied:rs $e Crert Ameicxn Hope, a child prodigf rnd a girl to
boot. ihcy ran r photo oflr.,e nr Lilc nag:zine rext to a quorc m
"Ihcrc
whlch Bobbi'Fisctrcf said.
vill rcvo bc a v;omau grand
5, grandmsrer:I chcs!ir)_.r linn dr. higb& l.,cl ofcxpcdsc.
6- Bobbr Fnch.r (t{.,bdtJmr.) (1'rrr-): U S .hrs cl1,n,pi.n.
84
"Your move, Bobby," rcad thc caption.
master."
The da,vthey took thc magazinepicture1 wore neatlypleited
braids clippcd ('ith Fhsdc barrettcstrimmcd with rhinestones.I
was playing nr a largc high school ruditorium that echocdwith
phlcgmy corghs rnd tbe squcakyrubberknobsofchair legssliding
acrossfreshlywaxedwoodeafloors. Seatedacrossfrom ne was all
Americanman, aboutrhe sxmeageasLau Po. I remejnberthat his
srveatybrows seemedto weepat my every move. He wore a dark.
malodoroussuit. Ore ofhis pockctswas stulfcd with a gtert white
kercHefon which hcwiped his palln befbresweepinghs handover
rhe chosenckss piecelvith : grut flourish.
ID my ciisp pink-ard-white dresswirh scratchylace at rhe
neck, one oftwo that nv mother had sewn for thesespccialoccasions,I wodd claspmy handsurrdermy chin, the delicatepoinrsof
my elbows poiscd lightly ot1 tbe table itl the manncr that my
motbcr hrd sho|n rne for posingfor thc prcss.I would swing my
Fatentlerther shocsbackandforth like:n impatientchild riding on
r schoolbus,Thcn I would pause,suckin my 1ips,.wirl my chosen
piecerrr midair asifundecided,and &en lirmlv plant it in irs new,
rhre3teningplacc, wiih a triumphant smile ihrowD back at my
opponenttor good mersure.
I no longcr playedi:r the alleyofvaverly t'tace.I Devervisited
thc playgroundlvh€rethc pigconsand old men gathered.I wcnt to
schootand then direcdy bome to learn rcw chesssecrets,clevetly
concetledadvantagcs,more escaperoutes.
Bur I found i! diffcult to concentratear home. My mothcr
had a hrbit of standingover me whlle I plotted out my gam€s.I
think shethought ofhersclfas n1y protective411y.Her Iips would
"hrnmmph"
be serled tight, and aftei eachrnove t made, a soft
rvould escapefron trer nose.
"Ma. I cant practicewhen you stald there like thar," I srid
one day.Sherctreatedto the kitchenand madeloud noiseswith the
pots and pans.!(hen the cnshing stopped,I could seeout of the
comer of my eye that she was standing in the doorway.
' H m m m p h l O n l | h i ( o n e . r n r eo u ( o r h c , C h , \ r o J r .
to allow me to practice.
My family madc many concessions
One tnne I cornplainedthat the bedroomI sharedwas so noisy that
I couldr't thinl. Thereaftcr,my brothersslepti11a bed in the living
room facing thc street.I said I couldn't finish my rice; my head
didn'! work righr when my stomach was roo tull. l left halfFLnished
bowis on the table,andnobody comph ed. But therewas
Ril.r of the Cane
85
one duty I couldn't avoid. I had ro xccompanynry nlorhcr on
Saturdaymarker days \r-henI had no toumament ro p1ay.My
mother\\,ouldproudly walk with me, visiting many shops.buying
verv little. "This is my daughter,Iqavelyjong," shesaid ro whoever looked her way.
One day afterwe left a shop, I sajdunder my breath,"l wish
you wouldD't do thar, tclling everybodyl'm your daughter."My
mother stopped walkirg. Crorvds of people wrrh hc.vy bass
pushedpastus on thc sidewaik,bump g into fint one shoulder,
"Aiii-ya. So shamebc vitb
morher?"She graspcdn], hand
eveDtighter as shelooked :t mc cvenly.
I lookcd down. "lr's not rhat-irt jusr so obvious.It sjusr so
"EDbarrassyou
be lIIy daughrer?"Her voice wrs cracking
with anger.
"That's
not what I meant.That's not whar I said."
''\Vhat you
say?"
I kn€w it was a mistakc to go on, but I heard my voicc
speaking."Why do you haveto useme to shoN offi lfyou r-ant to
show off, thcn why don't you learn to piay chess?"
My mother's cvestumed into danguots black s1its.Shehd
no wo.ds for me, just sharpsilence.
I lelt the wind mshing aroundny hot ears.ljerkcd my hand
out ofmy mother'stight graspand spun around,knocking nto an
old wonlan. Her bag ofgroceries spilledto the ground.
"Aii-ya!
Stupid girll" my morhe. and the rvornrn cncd.
Orangcsand tin canscareeneddown the sidewalk.As ny niother
stopp.d to heip the old woman pick up rhe escapingtood, i
took offI raceddown the street,dashtngberweenpeople,not lookiDg
back as my mother sclcamedshrilly, "Mei,meil Mc;meil" I fled
down an a1leXpast dark curtainedshopsrnd merchantswashing
.hc grime off their win.lolrs. I spedinb the sunlight,into a largc
strcct crowded with tou.ists cxanrjningrrinkets and souvenirs.I
duckcd into anotherdark a.lley.dowr anotherstreet,up another
alley.I rD hard untii it hurt, and I realizedI h:rdnowhere ro go,
that I was Dot runaing from anything. The alleys contrined no
My breath came out hrrd, like angry smoke. I rvas cold- I
srt down oD en upturned plastic pail ncxt to a stack oi empry
86
boxes.cuppin.ern,r,chilr with m,vhards, thinking hard l imagined
n1y nothcr r'lrst vaiknlg briskly don'n onc street or anorher
looknig lbr me, thcn giving up and rcturning homc to awalt 1n)anival. Afrer tra'ohorrs, I stood up on creakinglcgs and slowlv
The alle,!was quicr, rnd I could sccvcllorv lights shning from
our flat iikc trvo tiger'seyesin thcnight. I cljrnbedthc sixteeDstePs
rc,riredoor, srcppingquietly on ca.h so asnot to makern) srinlng
sounds.I turncd the knob; thc door was lockcd. I herrd a chair
nrovin.e,quick sieps,thc locks turnhg clickl clickl click!-and
ihcD rhe door opcncd.
"About t0ric,vougot homc,' hissedVincent. Bov, arcvou nr
ile slid backto the dinncr tabl;. On .he tablcwcre the remains
oia hrgc fish, t|s fleshyheadstill connectedto borlesswinxnirg
Lrpstrcrn iD vain escapc.StaDdingtherc waitDig lbr m)' pulishment,I hcard mv mother sperk in a dry volcc
''We nor concerningthis gir1. This girl no! have concernrng
'
for us.
Nobody lookcd rt me. Bonc choPsticksclinkcd agai t the
insidesofboirls being cmptied into hungry nlouths.
I rvalkedinto my room. closedthe doof, aDdlaYdown on my
bed. Ihe room rvrs dark, the ceilingfillcd with shado\i'sfronl fie
dnmcfti e lights of ncighbodlg flats.
In my he:rdI sawa chcsboardwith sixty-four blackendwhite
squarcs.Oppositeme was mv opponent.hcr eyestwo aneiryblack
"StrongcstlviDdcannotbc see,"
s1its.Shcivorea trlLrmphantsmite.
Her blrck men xdvancedacrossthe plaDc.slowly marchingto
level as a sngle unjt. My white piecesscrcamedas
crch successne
they scurried.rndfell offthc boad one by onc. As her men drcw
closcrtc.my edge.I fclt m,vselfgtowing li-qht.I roseup ilto the rrr
lnd tlcw out the wnrdo\'. Higher and highcr, tbove the allcy,over
the tops of tiled rooti, wherc I was gatheredup by the whd and
pushcdup roivard thc night sky urtil €vcrythins below me dis:!ppearcdand I was alone.
I cLxed m,v clcs and ponderedm,vncxt move