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Michael A. Estrada
1. Puns and Albures
1.1 Puns
1. ¿Por qué se llama un casino? Porque casi no tienes la posibilidad de ganar.
2. En un paseo por los montes de Colombia, un amigo indicó un mineral y dijo: "Es
azufre". Le pregunté, "¿Por qué sufre?"
3. Que dijo el numero 18 al numero dos? Vente conmigo!
4. Que hace el pez? Nada!
5. Un tipo y una mujer en la playa:
-¿Y usted, no nada nada?
-No traje traje
6. Una vez que Pepito se puso a vender huevos dentro de una iglesia:
¡Huevos, huevos, a 10 pesos cada uno!
Y el padre muy molesto grita:
¡Saquen a ese niño de los huevos!
Y Pepito asustado le dice:
¡Padre, mejor de la orejita!
7. ¿Cuantas estrellas en el cielo? Sin cuenta.
8. ¿Que le dijo un borracho a un recien nacido? Bebe.
1. Why is it called a casino? Because you almost don’t have any chance of winning.
2. In one trip through the mountains of Columbia, one friend pointed out to a mineral
and said, “It’s azure”. I asked him, “Why does she suffer?”
3. What did the number 18 say to the number 2? Come with me!
4. What does the fish do? Swim!/Nothing!
5. One guy and one lady are at the beach:
-And you, you don’t swim at all?
-No, I didn’t bring a swimsuit.
6. One time that Pepito put himself to selling eggs inside of a church:
“Eggs! Eggs! At 10 pesos each!”
And the Father very angry shouts:
“Take that boy of the eggs out of here!
And Pepito frightened says:
Father, better from the ears!
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7. How many stars in the sky? Countless (50)
8. What did the drunk say to the newborn? Baby (drink)
1.2 Albures
An albur, as simply defined by the Real Academia Española, is a word game that plays
on double-meanings. It can also be translated simply as a pun but the word albur itself is
one specific to Mexican Spanish.
The reason for this is that the game of albures was created in Mexico, and according to an
unofficial source, was “created in Pachuca by the miners who worked there.” According
to their definition, “it was a game of words where the objective was to conceal an insult
or insinuation of homosexuality to the one who was supposed to respond. They were
simple rules and so they eventually became a part of Mexican idiosyncrasy.” 1
From Wikipedia: “In Mexico, an albur is a pun or a double entendre in which one of the
possible meanings usually carries sexual undertones. It is very common among groups of
predominately male friends; however, its use is considered rude or distasteful when not
amongst friends, especially when in the presence of women. Usually, the game of albures
is a subtle, verbal competition in which the players try to show superiority by using
albures attempting to leave the opponent without a comeback. There are two general
purposes in an albur, sexual and generally degrading.” 2
1
Source: http://mx.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061027182802AasD7FT
Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albur
1.2.1 Examples
The following are different types of examples one might hear used, might be albures that
can be played on and used, or are simply albures. The links I used to find these is posted
here and at the bottom. Please note also that although I am very unfamiliar with this I
have tried to give the best possible translations for the examples below.
Source for almost all of the above: http://albures.net/
"Dame la hora" vs. "Damela ahora”
“Give me the time” vs. “Give it to me now”
•
Huele a ovo
que es ovo?
soba m'esta!
It smells like ovo
What is ovo?
Rub this one!
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•
Huele a carbo It smells like carbo
que es carbo? What is carbo?
el camote!
The sweet potato (a slang term for penis)
•
•
No es murciélago, pero vive colgado. It isn't a bat, but it lives hanging.
No es acordeón, pero se estira y se encoje. It isn't an accordion, but it stretches
and it shrinks.
No es soldado, pero ataca por delante y por detras. It isn't a soldier, but it attacks
from the front and the back.
No piensa, pero tiene cabeza. It doesnt think, but it has a head.
No es atractivo, pero las mujeres se vuelven locas por el. It isn't attractive, but
women go crazy for it.
No es analgésico, pero calma y relaja. It isn’t an analgesic but it calms and
relaxes.
No es palmera, pero tiene cocos. It isn't a palm tree, but it has coconuts.
•
•
•
•
•
The following are names from other countries (that only slightly sound like actual
names but aren’t) that when said quickly have sexual/degrading references.
Japan:
Teyeno Tuoyo
Yokero Tuchico
Tuchico Atako
Yositoko Tukoshita
Tetoko Tuchico
I fill your hole
I want your boy (penis)
Your boy (penis) I attack
I do touch your little thing
I’ll touch your boy (penis)
Arabia:
Ben Jalam Elami
Come pull it for me
Italia:
Sebino Sobretti
Piccola Donna
It came over you
I itch the woman (vagina? Not sure)
Sudafrica:
Akawanto Mipajita
Here I hold my little straw
República Checa:
Teklave Mitranka
Tateketa Kasiakavo
I stuck you my penis
Stay still I’m almost done
Brazil:
Eloyihno Medeiras
Pelé Meleño
In the hole you’ll give it to me
Peel my log
Mexico:
Lupe Laste
You peeled it.
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His carrot.
•
Para el cruel destino, vino
For the cruel destiny, wine
para el fracaso, de ron un vaso
For failure, a cup of rum
para la tristeza, cerveza
For sadness, beer
para todo mal, mezcal
For all bad, maguey
Para toda decepción, tequila con limón For all deception, tequila with lime
Para lo fregado, de tuna un curado For the fucked up, of tuna a cure
•
Se despide este pelón
que por las fiestas anda bruja.
Deja nomas consiga lana
y padentro te lo empuja.
This bald one says goodbye
That by the parties it goes witch
It just collects wool
And inside it pushes you it
No es lo mismo (decir) ‘It is not the same (to say)’ Albures/Dirty Types
•
Huele a traste, que atrás te huele. Smells like a mop, and your behind smells
•
Los montes de Tapachula, que tápate los montes chula. The mountains of
Tapachula, and cover your mountains pretty (girl).
•
Anita siéntate en la hamaca, que sientate en la macanita. Anita sit on the
hammock and sit on the machine.
•
La hija del Rahjáh, que la raja de la hija. The daughter of Rahjáh, and the crack of
the daughter.
•
La verdura, que verla dura. The vegetables, and seeing it hard.
•
Tu hermana en el jardín del Edén, que le den a tu hermana en el jardín. Your
sister in the Garden of Eden, and that they give it to your sister in the garden.
•
Montecarlo, que Carlos te monte. Montecarlo, and that Carlos mounts you.
•
Palos en el monte, que montes en el palo.
•
Tubérculo, que ver tu culo. Tuberculosis, and to see your ass.
•
Un enchufe negro, que un negro te enchufe. A black power outlet, and that a black
guy plugs you.
•
Tener un hambre atroz, que tener un hombre atrás. To have a terrible hunger, and
to have a man behind.
Some Retorts to Albures
There are many different terms used in Albures to discreetly refer from male/female
genitalia, semen, excrement, etc. and thus there are some retorts that can be learned to
quickly throw back when hearing a particular word. The list of all the different variations
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is quite long on the website I have been using as a reference, so instead of listing them all
out the link with all the vocabulary can be found below.
Albures Vocabulary: http://toliro.webspaceforme.net/albures/albures/vocablo.htm
Examples:
Pito
- cómelo frito
- chápalo enterito
Whistle
-eat it fried
-suck it whole
Techo (te echo)
- las nalgas al pecho
- tu empinado y yo derecho
Roof (I shoot at you)
Hijo de la chingada
- sí mami
Son of a fucker
- yes Mom
Juego
- las pelotas!
- con las bolas del borrego!
Game or I play
-the balls!
-with the balls of the lamb!
Trece
Thirteen
- entre más lo mamas más me crece The more you suck it the more it grows
Pendejo
Dumbass or Stupid
- te dejo
- I leave you
- pero con tu hermana me emparejo, -But with your sister I pair up in the street of Vallejo
en la calle de Vallejo
Source for almost all of the above: http://albures.net/
2. Albures and Pedro Infante
2.1 'Dos Tipos de Cuidado'
Link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ec3m2J1n5_4&feature=BFa&list=AVGxdCwVVULXd54q72u6WrrCGE9VFK2PB&index=2
The title, Dos Tipos de Cuidado, is a pun in itself. The word tipo, can only be translated
into English as type, so the first obvious translation of the title would be 'Two Types of
Carefulness'. However, the word tipo in Spanish also has the meaning of 'guy', 'fellow'
etc., so the second and more accurate translation would be 'Two Careful Men'', which is
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what the movie is about; not necessarily about careful men but two men nonetheless. The
following song is an albureado between Pedro Infante (in the movie playing the role of
Pedro Malo) and Jorge Negrete (playing the role of Jorge Bueno).
Dos Tipos de Cuidado Song Translation
Spanish
English
La gente dice sincera cada que se hace un
casorio,
que el novio siempre la quiera, si no que le
hagan velorio.
Para esta novia no hay pena pues va a tener
buen marido
Jorge Bueno es cosa buena, por lo menos
de apellido
Jorge Bueno, es muy bueno, hijo de Bueno
también
y su abuelo hay que bueno quien se llamara
como él.
The people say sincere every time there is a
marriage
That the boyfriend always love her, if not
that they hold a wake for him
For this girlfriend there is no concern since
she’s going to have a good husband
Jorge Bueno is a good thing, at least
through his last name
Jorge Bueno, is very good, son of Bueno as
well,
And his grandfather, oh how good it would
be to be named as him
Procurare ser tan bueno como dice mi
apellido,
que se trague su veneno el que velorio ha
pedido,
Pedro es Malo de apellido retachar es su
cuarteta
El nomás es presumido porque no es malo
es.. Maleta
Pedro malo, es muy malo, malo por
obligación
y su abuelo huy que malo hay que
comprarle su "león".
I’ll try to be so good as my last name says,
That the one who has asked for my wake
swallow his poison
Pedro is Malo from his last name,
instigating is his quatrain
He is only presumptuous because he is not
bad…he’s a suitcase
Pedro Malo, is very bad, bad through
obligation
And his grandfather, oh how bad, we need
to buy him his “lion”.
En una mañana de oro alguien nublaba el
paisaje
eran un cuervo y un loro arrancándose el
plumaje
hay que olvidar lo pasado si la culpable es
la suerte
que bueno y malo mezclado en regular se
convierte,
yo soy malo no lo niego pero quisiera
mezclar
In a brilliant morning someone clouded the
image
It was a crow and a parrot pulling out each
others’ feathers
We need to forget the past if luck is
responsible
That good and bad mixed converts into
something decent,
I am bad I don’t deny it but I would like to
mix
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malo y bueno por si sale algo que sea
regular.
Bad and good for the possibility of creating
something decent
Cierto alacrán de carroña un colmenar
visitaba
para ver si la ponzoña con la miel se le
quitaba
como no se da lo bueno para el placer del
malvado
con la miel y su veneno hoy anda el pobre
purgado.
Que lo entienda, quien lo entienda, si es
que lo sabe entender,
y si a caso no lo entiende hay que obligarlo
ha entender
One scorpion of carrion visited a beehive
To see if the poison with the honey could
be taken off
Since the good isn’t given for the pleasure
of the evil
With the honey and its poison today he
goes purged.
Understand it, whoever understands it, if
you are able to understand it,
And if by chance you don’t understand it he
must be made to understand
Te consta que no soy tonto como tú, lo has
presumido
You know that I am not a fool like you,
have presumed.
Tonto no si entrometido por el hambre de
amistades
Not a fool if meddlesome because of
hunger of friendship
El hambre siempre la calmo con el manjar
del amigo
Hunger I always calm with my friend’s
delicacies
Mendigo es si no mendigo el que roba a
sus amigos
Coward he is if not a beggar he who steals
from his friends
Tú lo dices - lo sostengo
no te vayas a cansar
no le saques - Si le saco
Pues se acabo este cantar
You say so – I sustain it
Be careful not to get tired
Don’t bring it up – I bring it up
Well now this singing is done
3. "La Camisa Negra"
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRt2sRyup6A&ob=av3e
Performed by the Colombian musician Juan Esteban Aristizábal Vasquez, better known
as Juanes, the song "La Camisa Negra", or The Black Shirt', is one that plays on the
phonetic similarity in different Spanish words and takes advantage of what the listener
expects to hear coming, utilizing the context of the lyrics for support. Throughout the
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song we hear about a man who has been left by, presumably his girlfriend, and how he
has only been left alone with his pain. The song is one that features a play on the sounds
of words and takes advantage of what the listener would expect to hear coming, utilizing
the context of the lyrics for support.
La Camisa Negra Lyrics and Translation
Tengo la camisa negra
Hoy mi amor está de luto
Hoy tengo en el alma una pena
Y es por culpa de tu embrujo
I have the shirt black
Today my love is in mourning
Today I have in my soul a pain
And it’s for fault of your witchcraft
Hoy sé que tú ya no me quieres
Y eso es lo que más me hiere
Que tengo la camisa negra
Y una pena que me duele
Today I know that you no longer love me
And that is what most hurts me
That I have the shirt black
And a shame that hurts me
Mal parece que solo me quedé 1
Y fue pura todita tu mentira 2
Que maldita mala suerte la mía
Que aquel día te encontré
It seems bad that alone I am left 1
And was entirely pure your lie 2
What wicked bad luck my luck is
That one day I found you
Por beber del veneno malevo de tu amor
Yo quedé moribundo y lleno de dolor
Respiré de ese humo amargo de tu adiós
Y desde que tú te fuiste yo solo tengo
For drinking from the evil venom of your love
I was left dying and filled with pain
I breathed in that sour smell of your goodbye
And since you left I only have
Tengo la camisa negra
Porque negra tengo el alma
Yo por ti perdí la calma
Y casi pierdo hasta mi cama
I have the shirt black
Because black I have my soul
For you I lost my calm
And I almost lost even my bed
Come, come, come on baby
Te digo con disimulo 3
Que tengo la camisa negra
Y debajo tengo el difunto 4
Come, come, come on baby
I’m telling you cunningly 3
That I have the shirt black
And down below I have the deceased 4
(Pa' enterrártelo cuando quieras mamita!) 5
(To drive it in you when you want it pretty girl!) 5
Tengo la camisa negra
Ya tu amor no me interesa
Lo que ayer me supo a gloria
Hoy me sabe a pura
I have the shirt black
Now your love doesn’t interest me
What yesterday tasted like glory
Today it tastes like pure
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Miércoles por la tarde y tú que no llegas
Ni siquiera muestras señas
Y yo con la camisa negra
Y tus maletas en la puerta
Wednesday afternoon and you still don’t arrive
You don’t even show any sign (of coming)
And me with the black shirt
And your bags at the door
Mal parece que solo me quedé
Y fue pura todita tu mentira
Que maldita mala suerte la mía
Que aquel día te encontré
It seems bad that alone I am left
And was entirely pure your lie
What wicked bad luck my luck is
That one day I found you
Por beber del veneno malevo de tu amor
Yo quedé moribundo y lleno de dolor
Respiré de ese humo amargo de tu adiós
Y desde que tú te fuiste yo solo tengo
For drinking from the evil venom of your love
I was left dying and filled with pain
I breathed in that sour smell of your goodbye
And since you left I only have
Tengo la camisa negra
Porque negra tengo el alma
Yo por ti perdí la calma
Y casi pierdo hasta mi cama
I have the shirt black
Because black I have my soul
For you I lost my calm
And I almost lost even my bed
Come, come, come on baby
Te digo con disimulo
Que tengo la camisa negra
Y debajo tengo el difunto
Come, come, come on baby
I’m telling you cunningly
That I have the shirt black
And down below I have the deceased
Tengo la camisa negra
Porque negra tengo el alma
Yo por ti perdí la calma
Y casi pierdo hasta mi cama
I have the shirt black
Because black I have my soul
For you I lost my calm
And I almost lost even my bed
Come, come, come on baby
Te digo con disimulo
Que tengo la camisa negra
Y debajo tengo el difunto
Come, come, come on baby
I’m telling you cunningly
That I have the shirt black
And down below I have the deceased
Explanation
In general, the song talks about a man who is heartbroken and completely devastated by
his woman leaving him. The chorus of the song, Tengo la camisa negra, is supposed to
mean that he’s dressed in black because it’s like a funeral now that she’s gone, with his
penis being the deceased. However, the song doesn’t go about saying all of this (and
more) directly. Many insults are hidden within the song by use of close homophones or
the singer changing the word at the last second. The Spanish listener often expects it (and
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fills in the bad word in their mind) but the lyrics of the song never actually say it; they
change the word to something perfectly fine and not insulting.
1
The play on words here is that mal parece sounds a lot like the insult malparido. Instead
of saying the insult however, the lyric changes after mal par- and hides the insult.
2
Y fue pura, in the manner that he pronounces it in the song, sounds a lot like some
Spanish speakers pronounce hijo de puta, something along /‘ixwe ‘puta/. So the insult,
meaning ‘son of a bitch’ resembles the line Y fue pura and only changes in the last
syllable of the line, going from the insult puta to pura.
3
This line is a hint to what he is trying to conceal in the line after next. Explained in 4
4
His usage of the word difunto, meaning ‘deceased’ or ‘dead’, is a sly reference to his
penis, employing the use of location (below) as the only hint to what he actually means.
What he’s trying to say by this is that since she has left him his penis is now dead and
without function or purpose.
5
This phrase is one of the more obvious references he makes in the song. It is intended to
go along with the sentence that directly precedes it, Y debajo tengo el difunto.
6
The changing of words from insult to innocent is most obvious here. The context of the
song automatically calls for the next word to be mierda, not Miércoles, and (most)
Spanish speakers would fill that in their head instinctively.
4. Spoonerisms
1“
When an unintentional spoonerism is committed, it is common to say "Se me lenguó la
traba (My stuck got tongued)," a spoonerism for "Se me trabó la lengua" (My tongue got
stuck).
Example
I had a difficult time finding spoonerisms in Spanish but I’m sure there are plenty, just
not well documented.
1. Una cabra de bolones  Una bola de cabrones
1. A granite goat  a bunch of assholes
1
From: http://spoonerism.askdefine.com/
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5. Dialects
I was not sure what I could have for this section, but Wikipedia does have a nice article
on Spanish Dialects: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish_dialects_and_varieties
6. Foreign Accents
6.1 English and Spanish
As English has its own way of manipulating its sounds to make fun of foreign accents, so
there are jokes in Spanish that do this as well. Moreover, from the opposite spectrum,
there are jokes in English that take advantage of the accents that some speakers of
Spanish have when speaking English.
6.1.1 Examples
My wife gets mad and I don't even know water problem is!
It smelled so bad I couldn't brief .
Yo', when all my familia gets in the car, there's not mushroom.
My girlfriend wanted me to go to the store, but chicken go by herself.
Some guy tried to sweet talk my woman. I told him, yo' loco, liver alone, cheese mine.
Ju tol me ju were goin to the store and July to me! Julyer!
I wanted to go with my mom to the flea market pero she didn't wafer me!
I had some cake to share with my wife, this is my piece, this is herpes
I told you if you didn't know how to do it, I could tissue.
My old lady caught me in bed wit my lover so I said harassment nothing to me!
I was running after you but I couldn't cashew!
Hey man, I'm looking for Paco, tell me if juicy him!
Source: http://jokemail.blogspot.com/2008/06/say-it-with-mexican-accent.html
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6.2 Spanish and Other Accents
Spanish speakers have their own jokes revolving around foreign accents as well. Though
some may be somewhat racist at times (as any jokes can be), some do have some logic to
them or even a little linguistic sense, an actuality quite interesting to come upon.
6.2.1 "Como se dice" Jokes/Puns?
Como se dice or, 'How do you say' jokes are jokes that simply ask how you would say
something in a different language, and the response is one that is in Spanish but has an
accent/similar tone of the language that the joke is asking for. In a nutshell, the response
needs to be in Spanish but must still sound like the target anguage.
For example: Como se dice "lluvia" en Alemán? GOTASKAEN.
How do you say "rain" in German? Drops fall.
The English translation doesn't capture the humor of the sentence, but the answer in
Spanish is quite humorous, as it could sound slightly German if pronounced in the
manner intended. The object of the joke is to create an answer that can sound like the
language in question or distorts Spanish enough into making it resemble it enough.
6.2.2 More Examples
1. ¿Cómo se dice "no sirve mi moto" en Japonés? Yamimoto Nocamina
2. ¿Cómo se dice "pistola" en Árabe? Ali va la bala
3. ¿Cómo se dice Espejo en Chino? Ay-toy.
4. ¿Cómo se dice "fosforo" en Japonés? Sakallama
5. ¿Cómo se dice 'lluvia" en Árabe? A lo mejo no mojamo
6. ¿Cómo se dice "diarrea" en Africano? Abunda Lakaka
7. ¿Cómo se dice "flaco" en Ruso? Skeletov!
8. ¿Cómo se dice "suegra" en Chino? lin-chen-la!
9. ¿Cómo se dice "99" en Chino? cachi chien
10. ¿Cómo se dice "mujer más delgada de Rusia? Silvia Paluskova
11. ¿Cómo se dice "hambre" en Árabe? Salivabá
12. ¿Cómo se dice "tuve muchos hijos" en Francés? Pari-sien
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13. ¿Cómo se dice "condenado a muerte" en Chino? TA CHIN GAO
14. ¿Cómo se llama el jugador de futbol más malo de Japón? Nikito Nitoko.
15. ¿Cómo se dice "beso" en Ruso? Vodka con Vodka
16. ¿Cómo se dice "autobus" en Alemán? SUBEN EMPUJEN ESTRUJEN BAJEN
17. ¿Cómo se dice "estoy muerto" en Inglés? Memory
18. ¿Cómo se llama el primer submarinista Japonés? Tokofondo. ¿Y el segundo?
Cachitoko. ¿Y el tercero? Nimetiro.
Sources: http://solochistes.com/chistes/Como_se_dice
http://www.euroresidentes.com/chistes/chistes-chinos.htm
6.2.3 Translations with Explanations
For the most part the jokes don't exactly play on the actual phonetics of the other
language but instead on a very foggy view of how the other language sounds or on a
slightly racist foundation. The following are the translations of the examples given above,
though of course they do not represent the humor the same way.
1. How do you say, "my motorcycle doesn't work" in Japanese? "My motorcycle no
longer walks"
2. How do you say "gun" in Arabic? There goes the bullet.
3. How do you say, "mirror" in Chinese? There I am.
4. How do you say, "match" in Japanese? Brings out flame.
5. How do you say "rain" in Arabic? Maybe we'll get wet.
6. How do you say "diarrhea" in an African language? Abundant the poop.
7. How do you say "skinny" in Russian? Skeleton!
8. How do you say "suegra" in Chinese? Lynch her!
9. How do you say "99" in Chinese? Almost 100.
10. How do you say "skinniest woman in all of Russia?" Silvia Paluskova
• The humor in this is in the name of the supposed woman. The last name,
Paluskova sounds a lot like palo de escoba in Spanish, which means stick
and broom and is intended to imply that the woman is as skinny as a
broom.
11. How do you say, "hunger" in Arabic? (He) drooled.
12. How do you say, "I had too many children" in French? Parisian
• The answer, pari-sien, is not a word in itself but it sounds a lot like the
actual word parisiense, an adjective or noun meaning Parisian, and hence
the humor coming in because of the word relating to Paris.
13. How do you say, "condemned to death" in Chinese? He's screwed.
14. What's the name of the worst soccer player in Japan? Neither he takes away (the
ball) nor does he touch (the ball).
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Michael A. Estrada
15. How do you say, "kiss" in Russian? Vodka with Vodka
• The joke is playing on Spanish's word for mouth, which is boca. So the
play is the switch of Vodka with boca because of their similar sounds.
16. How do you say, "bus" in German? They get on, press, squeeze in, get off.
17. How do you say, "I'm dead" in English? Memory (I died)
• The humor in this joke comes in the pronunciation. Me morí in Spanish
means I died, so if you pronounce the English word 'memory' with the
vowels having a Spanish tone, you get the phrase me morí. Ironically, this
joke could actually be one for making fun of how a speaker of Spanish
might pronounce the word 'memory'.
18. What's the name of the first Japanese scuba diver? I touch deep. And the second?
I almost touch. And the third? I don't even throw myself (in the water).
6.2.4 Other jokes that play on accents
Un Español se encuentra a un chino y dice: ¡Hola!
Y el chino le dice: Las 12:30.
A Spanish guy runs into a Chinese guy and says, “Hola!”
And the Chinese guy responds: “It’s 12:30.”