What to do if violence is happening around you
Feel safe at home
A big thank you to the children and young
people using NSPCC services who helped
to write this leaflet.
If you don’t want anyone
to see what you’re reading,
tear this cover off.
ChildLine is a service provided and funded by the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children
(NSPCC). CHILDREN 1ST (RSSPCC) delivers the ChildLine service in Scotland on behalf of the NSPCC. NSPCC
registered charity numbers 216401 and SC037717. CHILDREN 1ST registered charity number SC016092.
Stores code: NS399. DJ4809/09.
If you can’t take this leaflet away with you, please tear off
the strip below and keep this number somewhere safe
and hidden for when you might need it.
Feel safe 0800 1111
Do any of these things
happen in your family?
•There are bad arguments or fights.
•Your mum gets sworn at or these
If some or all of
called names.
are
kinds of things
•Your mum gets pushed, hit ur
yo
in
g
in
en
happ
or kicked.
u
yo
en
th
,
ily
fam
•Furniture and other things in the
with
might be living
house get broken or smashed.
ce.
en
ol
domestic vi
•Your pets get hurt.
•You and your brothers and sisters
feel scared and get hurt.
ce?
violen
ic
t
s
e
m
o
d
‘s
t
a
h
W
happens between
Domestic violence usually
home or are in
adults who live together at
er. It can also
a relationship with each oth
it up.
happen after they have spl
bullies the other
One adult (usually the man)
might hur t her
one (usually the woman). He
or hit her.
feelings, make her scared
It is not always m
en who hurt wom
en
though. Sometim
es women hurt m
en
, or
there can be vio
lence between tw
o men
or two women. So
metimes other fa
mily
members take pa
rt in the bullying
and
violence too.
Domestic violenc
e in a family can
happen
in any place and
at any time. Ofte
n it
happens at hom
e and sometimes
other
people don’t know
about it.
Domestic violenc
e can hurt childre
n too.
Often you can he
ar or see it going
on
and sometimes
you can get caug
ht in the
middle of a fight
.
How does it make you fe
el?
Domestic viol
ence in your
family can mak
e you feel :
•afraid becaus
e you are getting hurt to
o
•sad and worrie
d
•confused
•tired
•angr y
•lonely or not
cared about
•left out.
It’s important to
know you’re not alone – it’s
normal to feel
these things.
You might also
:
•find it hard to
sleep
•have trouble
doing
your schoolw
ork
•think someone
else at home
is the favourite
•get into troub
le a lot
at home or at
school.
ren say
ild
ch
e
m
so
t
a
h
w
’s
re
e
H
ce:
about domestic violen
nd lone
I feel low a
Boy, 10
ly.
I feel heartbroken
and worried about
Mum get ting hur t.
Girl, 8
It makes me fe
el sad
and upset but
I pretend
that ever ything
is ok.
Girl, 10
d about.
I don’t feel care
Boy, 9
What about your mum
?
People in your family might try to keep the domestic
violence a secret, and your mum might think that you don’t
know it is happening. Maybe, like you, your mum is feeling
upset and afraid. She is probably worried about lots of
things, and she might not be able to spend a lot of time
with you or look after you as much as she would like.
Remember, domestic violence is not your mum’s fault. If
she is being hurt and scared by someone stronger than
her, then she will probably find it very hard to stop them.
ault
It’s never your f
Remember that domestic violence is not your fault.
Sometimes you might feel you have to stick up for the
adults you care about. It is normal to feel like this, but you
can’t change the way that adults behave. Children are
NEVER to blame for domestic violence. The only person
who is in the wrong is the adult who is being a bully.
You, your mum and the rest of your family have the right to feel safe and happy at home.
elf
rs
u
o
y
o
t
t
i
p
e
Don’t ke
out you.
.
ne cares ab
o
o
n
t the violence
e
lik
el
fe
t know abou
n’
o
d
Maybe you
u
yo
it.
t
ks
u
s abo
mum thin
o one know
Maybe your
g hurt and n
n
ings a secret
ei
b
th
f
e
o
ar
s
u
d
ese kin
th
Maybe yo
ep
ke
to
od idea
pening.
It’s not a go
just keep hap
n
ca
ey
th
se
can help.
becau
u trust who
yo
e
n
o
e
m
Tell so
Here’s some advice from other children
who have lived with domestic violence:
Talk to your mum about your
feelings - it’s not her fault.
Boy, 10
um to tell
Tell your m
are
else - there lp.
someone
e
h
o want to
people wh
Boy, 11
Tell som
ebody
you tru
st.
Girl, 8
Stay calm - you
should
never get involv
ed.
Boy, 12
What can you do?
w you feel.
and tell her ho
um
m
er ur
yo
to
lk
tand and togeth
•Tr y to ta
ur mum unders
yo
lp
r.
he
tte
ht
be
ig
m
This
ake things
about how to m
you could talk
t what is ur family abou
yo
in
on
rs
pe
r
dparent, an •Tell anothe
could be a gran
It
e.
m
ho
at
g
her, sister or happenin
en an older brot
ev
or
to e,
cl
un
k them to talk
aunt or
t, you could as
an
w
u
it.
yo
g
If
in
.
in
do
cous
n’t feel like
r you, if you do
your mum fo
your family, u trust, outside
yo
at
th
t
ul
ad
is could be •Talk to an
ing at home. Th
en
pp
ha
is
t
ha
ily friend, a about w
or doctor, a fam
e
rs
d.
nu
a
r,
he
d’s mum or da
a teac
your own frien
en
ev
or
r,
ou
hb
neig
If the first or se
cond person yo
u tell can’t help
keep telling pe
,
ople until you fin
d someone who
can help you an
d your family fe
el safe and happ
ChildLine can
y.
help you too if
you want to ta
someone or ne
lk to
ed advice. Call
for free on 0800
1111.
Who else can
help?
p
who can hel
ts of people
lo
e
ar
s
re
e
e
h
T
helplin
r mum. The
you and you
calls from
f
o
ts
lo
get
me. You
on this leaflet
olence at ho
vi
t
u
o
ab
n
u feel,
childre
about how yo Your
em
th
to
lk
can ta
vice.
for help or ad
umbers
and ask them
n
se
e
th
can call
ad
d
r
o
m
u
m
the best
Remember,
for help too.
to someone.
to do is talk
thing for you
If a friend tells you that there is domestic
violence in their family, you could:
leaflet
•give them this
to an
lk
ta
to
•tell them
st
tru
ey
th
at
adult th
t
ac
nt
co
to
em
•tell th
rs
mbe one of the nu
ge.
on the next pa
, it’s better out than in.
Whatever your worry
e and support from
For confidential advic
r
st, call our free 24-hou
someone you can tru
or go to our website.
helpline 0800 1111
Textphone: 0800 40
0
222
For anyone who is
deaf or hard
of hearing. It is not
open at night.
The Hideout
.uk
www.thehideout.org
d advice about
Lots of information an
pecially for children.
domestic violence, es
it to this website by
You can hide your vis
screen.
following the steps on
National Domestic Violence Helpli
ne
For help and advice about domesti
c
violence involving adults and children
.
Freephone: 0808 2000 247
Calls to this number may show up
on phone bills.
Check with the telephone company
.
Email: [email protected]
k
rgency
n eme
What to do in a
portant
d, it is very im
ba
ly
al
re
ts
ge
. Here are
If the fighting
don’t get hurt
ily
m
fa
ur
yo
that you and
g safe :
eas for keepin
some good id
ay
fight –stay aw
the middle of a
in
k
uc
st
t
ge
•Don’t
from it.
or nearby, place at home
fe
sa
a
in
de
hi
o.
•You could
sters to hide to
brothers and si
and tell your
another adult a neighbour or
to
go
d
ul
co
u
•Or yo
is happening.
tell them what
d
an
,
st
tru
u
yo
e police free one and call th
ph
a
t
ge
d
ul
•Or you co
lp.
on 999 for he
If you don’t want anyone
to see what you’re reading,
tear this cover off.
ChildLine is a service provided and funded by the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children
(NSPCC). CHILDREN 1ST (RSSPCC) delivers the ChildLine service in Scotland on behalf of the NSPCC. NSPCC
registered charity numbers 216401 and SC037717. CHILDREN 1ST registered charity number SC016092.
Stores code: NS399. DJ4809/09.
If you can’t take this leaflet away with you, please tear off
the strip below and keep this number somewhere safe
and hidden for when you might need it.
Feel safe 0800 1111
What to do if violence is happening around you
Feel safe at home
A big thank you to the children and young
people using NSPCC services who helped
to write this leaflet.