RED, YELLOW AND GREEN RELATIONSHIP SCENARIOS
For each situation below, identify whether each response is
RED, YELLOW or GREEN. Then answer the following question.
SITUATION: Four co-workers share an office. Tina likes to listen to a specific kind of music
that the other three dislike. She sets the volume very high so that everyone hears the music.
RESPONSE 1: The co-workers ask Tina to wear earphones when she listens to her music.
RESPONSE 2: The co-workers tell Tina that her music is awful and ask her to turn the radio off.
RESPONSE 3: The co-workers start making fun of Tina’s music. One co-worker turns Tina’s
radio off without asking permission.
How could Tina respond in a green way in each situation?
SITUATION: Jennifer is invited to a party at her friends’ house. When she arrives, everyone is
drinking heavily and using drugs. A friend offers some to her. Jennifer does not want to use
drugs or alcohol.
RESPONSE 1: Jennifer doesn’t want them to get mad at her, so she accepts her friend’s offer
and joins the party.
RESPONSE 2: Jennifer says “I’m driving so I’ll just have one drink.” Then she has three drinks
before leaving the party.
RESPONSE 3: Jennifer says “Thanks for the offer, but I’m driving and better not.” Then she
leaves the party after visiting with her friends for a short time.
How could Jennifer avoid getting into this situation in the future?
SITUATION: Anna and her 10-month-old baby live with her mother. Anna has a new
boyfriend and wants to spend time alone with him. When she goes out with her boyfriend, Anna
relies on her mother to watch her child. Her mother is frustrated that Anna now expects her to
babysit and that Anna is spending too much time away from her baby.
RESPONSE 1: Anna and her mother argue about whether she is neglecting her baby, but
nothing gets resolved. Anna decides to ask a neighbor to babysit from now on.
RESPONSE 2: Anna’s mother says that she will not babysit anymore and tells Anna that she is
being a bad mother. Anna tells her mother that she is being selfish and threatens to move out
and not let her mother see the baby.
RESPONSE 3: Anna listens to her mother’s concerns and apologizes for relying on her too
much for babysitting. Anna’s mother says that she understands Anna’s need to have time away
from her baby. They create a schedule for Anna’s time with her boyfriend and agree to the
number of times her mother will babysit. They create a plan for Anna to save money for a
babysitter for the times that her mother will not babysit.
How could Anna respond in a green way to her mother’s concern
that she’s spending too much time away from her baby?
SITUATION: Victoria and Sebastian have three children ages 8, 4 and 2 years old. All three
children sleep in their parents’ room because their bedroom is the only one with a heater.
Sebastian is getting very frustrated that he and Victoria have not been able to be intimate for a
long time because the children are always in bed with them. Sebastian tries to be intimate with
Victoria in the bedroom once the children are sleeping.
RESPONSE 1: Victoria pushes him away and tells him to stay away from her or he will have to
go to the living room to sleep.
RESPONSE 2: Victoria tells Sebastian how uncomfortable she feels about being intimate when
the kids are around. They discuss possible solutions and choose a plan to save money to buy a
heater for the children’s bedroom. In the meantime, they arrange for family to occasionally
babysit their children outside of the home so that they can have private time together.
RESPONSE 3: Sebastian forces Victoria to have sex in the bedroom while the children are
sleeping, telling her that this is one of her duties as a wife.
What could Victoria do to protect herself and her children in Response 3?
SITUATION: While Angela is at the store with her 3-year-old, he throws a temper tantrum
because she will not buy a toy that he wants.
RESPONSE 1: Angela spanks her son, picks him up by the arm and yells at him for being a
bad child.
RESPONSE 2: Angela threatens to hit him if he does not behave.
RESPONSE 3: Angela clearly tells him no, ignores his tantrum, and redirects his behavior
toward a new activity.
What are some green things that Angela can do to redirect her son’s behavior?
SITUATION: Monica has been waiting for two hours to see her caseworker. She needs to find
out why her Medicaid and Food Stamps were not renewed even though she sent in all of the
required documents by the deadline. After her caseworker calls Monica into the office, she tells
her that they did not receive the documents. The caseworker says that Monica will have to
resubmit the forms and will not receive her benefits this month.
RESPONSE 1: Monica shows the caseworker the copies she made of the documents she
submitted for the renewal process. She asks the caseworker about any extra support she can
get this month and if there is anything that can be done to make the renewal process go more
quickly.
RESPONSE 2: Monica accuses the office of losing the paperwork and loudly demands to talk to
her caseworker’s supervisor.
RESPONSE 3: Monica starts cursing and calling her caseworker a liar. She leaves the office
without submitting new paperwork.
What is something green that Monica can do if she thinks her
caseworker is doing a poor job or is unable to help her?