Seoul Grace Community
Marriage: The Friendship of Marriage
Ephesians 5:22-27
October 11, 2015
1. Introduction
a. Marriage is hard work and requires us to examine what it means to have a “gospel-shaped marriage”—a
marriage which admits our weaknesses as Jesus did for us and yet redeems us as Jesus did for us
b. This week—we look at what marriage is for?
i. We have to see what God says is the purpose of submission in marriage
ii. We need to start at the end and work back into the roles of the husband and wife—it’s
imperative we examine the purpose of marriage first, before we understand the principles of
marriage
2. The Purpose of Marriage
a. Husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church. Why? v. 27-to present your spouse "in splendor,
without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind…"
i. Marriage as presenting the other person in their future glorious self
ii. This makes marriage as a friendship
1. In the beginning, this is what was created
a. Adam was lonely and “it was not good” so God makes a counterpart—a
companion
b. He says flesh of my flesh. He finally knew who he was in her presence.
2. Two people not looking at each other. But two people standing side by side looking at
something in common. Deep oneness. The purpose of marriage to be able to see the
other person as the future glorious self they are meant to be in God's eyes.
3. Marriage is a pointer to something greater than ourselves-it's a pointer to the person
our spouse is going to be in heaven.
4. There's a journey to a throne. To each other to a blemish free state.
3. The Submission in Marriage
a. Paul does not imply inferiority here (he refers to "wives" and not women in general)
i. The word "submit" used here has no meaning that wives are somehow inferior to husbands
(body can't be inferior to the head)
ii. He also doesn’t give the particulars—only the principle
1. This is very key—how we work this out in our marriages is different for each and at least
implies that the man doesn’t always get “his way”
2. Paul does not give specifics on how to live out these principles. That is for each husband
and wife to mutually agree on. It does NOT mean that the husband gets to assert his
authority in all decisions or matters-actually, he has to be willing to kill his authority and
desires to please the wife.
4. The Love in Marriage
a. Husbands are commanded to “love” their wives and it appears a rather weak command, but it is actually
the same Greek root as submit—and it’s even more powerful because the type of love which is
commanded is the same as Jesus had for His church
i. How did Christ love the church? He died for it!
ii. If you had a man like this wouldn’t you lovingly want to submit??
1. This means that a husband's role in marriage is to be willing to die for his wife so that
she is dressed in something more beautiful than she ever could buy.
2. This means that a wife's role in marriage is to be willing to submit and support her
husband so that he shines radiantly in God's eyes.
5. Conclusion
a. The only way to accept these roles in marriage is by seeing how Jesus Christ submitted Seeing Christ
submit for us
b. Marriage is difficult and requires submission and love—this radical self-giving to the spouse is only
possible if you see Jesus first doing it for you in order to present you as spotless and wrinkle free
i. Jesus was the one who went to the cross—he submitted for you, he loved you to his death—he
died to make you more radiant than you ever thought possible.
ii. How then, can you not do this for each other?