Helicopter Parents—Knowing When to Draw the Line
The term helicopter parenting is commonly used today to describe parents who
have a tough time giving their children independence.
Unlike the parents of baby boomers who may have experienced problems letting go
of children as they headed off to kindergarten, helicopter parents are unable to let
go of their children as they head off to post-secondary studies.
Although many helicopter parents are convinced they are doing the right thing,
Helen Johnson reflects on the sentiments of many parenting experts when she notes
that this type of over involvement sends a profound message to a young adult that
says “You are not capable of handling your life”. Such an approach is also denying young people the opportunity to become
self-reliant by learning how to manage conflict and solve their own problems.
With this in mind we have come up with a short list of behaviours that academic advisors and counsellors view as either
appropriate (GO) or not appropriate (NO) for parents when dealing with their child’s post-secondary education.
GO—Offering advice on how to approach an
NO—Taking the course selection process out of
instructor or professor concerning a specific
issue
GO—Offering advice or feedback with their
essays or helping to proof read
their hands and doing it for them
GO—Showing ongoing interest in how they
NO—Calling or e-mailing several times a day to
manage their studies
check to see if they are doing their work
GO—Brainstorming questions they should
NO—Checking online or going on campus to get
ask at an educational advising appointment
their grades for them
GO—Offering advice (if requested) about
NO—Attending an advising appointment
NO—Contacting instructors or professors directly
to discuss an issue
course selection
GO—Offering encouragement through the
NO—Writing parts or their entire essay
registration process
GO—Reminding them to follow up on their
NO—Registering for them
grades in a timely manner
Often less involvement in any child’s life is not the easiest course of action, but the
best course of action. So relax, there is no need to use your cell phone as the
world’s longest umbilical cord.
Reference
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/US/story?id=1235218J
Johnson, H. (2000). Don’t tell me what to do, just send money. New York: St. Martin’s Press.
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© Pardy Group (2012), prepared for BCCAT