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UGLY ON THE
INSIDE
by
STEVEN & WHITNEY BOE
samuelfrench.com
Copyright © 2008 by Steven and Whitney Boe
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that UGLY ON
THE INSIDE is subject to a royalty. It is fully protected under the copyright laws
of the United States of America, the British Commonwealth, including Canada,
and all other countries of the Copyright Union. All rights, including professional,
amateur, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting,
television and the rights of translation into foreign languages are strictly reserved.
In its present form the play is dedicated to the reading public only.
The amateur live stage performance rights to UGLY ON THE INSIDE are controlled exclusively by Samuel French, Inc., and royalty arrangements and licenses
must be secured well in advance of presentation. PLEASE NOTE that amateur
royalty fees are set upon application in accordance with your producing circumstances. When applying for a royalty quotation and license please give us the
number of performances intended, dates of production, your seating capacity and
admission fee. Royalties are payable one week before the opening performance
of the play to Samuel French, Inc., at 45 W. 25th Street, New York, NY 10010 or
to Samuel French (Canada), Ltd., 100 Lombard Street, Lower Level, Toronto,
Ontario, Canada M5C 1M3.
Royalty of the required amount must be paid whether the play is presented for
charity or gain and whether or not admission is charged.
Stock royalty quoted upon application to Samuel French, Inc.
For all other rights than those stipulated above, apply to Samuel French, Inc.
45 West 25th Street, New York, NY 10010.
Particular emphasis is laid on the question of amateur or professional readings,
permission and terms for which must be secured in writing from Samuel French,
Inc.
Copying from this book in whole or in part is strictly forbidden by law, and the
right of performance is not transferable.
Whenever the play is produced the following notice must appear on all programs, printing and advertising for the play: “Produced by special arrangement
with Samuel French, Inc.”
Due authorship credit must be given on all programs, printing and advertising
for the play.
ISBN 978-0-573-65147-2
Printed in U.S.A.
#23625
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Publication of this play does not imply availability for performance.
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IMPORTANT BILLING AND CREDIT
REQUIREMENTS
All producers of UGLY ON THE INSIDE must give credit to the Author of the Play
in all programs distributed in connection with performances of the Play, and in
all instances in which the title of the Play appears for the purposes of advertising,
publicizing or otherwise exploiting the Play and/or a production. The name of the
Author must appear on a separate line on which no other name appears, immediately following the title and must appear in size of type not less than fifty percent of
the size of the title type.
UGLY ON THE INSIDE was originally presented at Brown Stone Rocks in
Ridgecrest, California on March 19, 2004 by Imaginal Cells, Inc., directed by
Steven & Whitney Boe, with the following cast:
DELLA . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Heidi Godt
RAYANNE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Whitney Leigh
CHARLIE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Roberto Raad
UGLY ON THE INSIDE was subsequently presented at the Complex Theatre in
Hollywood, California on May 11, 2006 by David Scheinbaum and Rockland Productions, with the following cast:
DELLA . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rachel Germaine
RAYANNE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jennifer Servary
CHARLIE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ryan Shahee
THE CAST
DELLA, mid to late 30s
RAYANNE, early to mid 30s
CHARLIE, 18 to 88
MAN’S VOICE (Offstage)
THE SETTING
The play takes place in a barren stretch of desert just outside of
Las Vegas, Nevada.
THE TIME
Springtime, the present
PLAYWRIGHTS’ NOTES
Husband and wife team, Steven and Whitney Boe, bring a dose of reality to the
dark comedy in Ugly on the Inside. Just as real life is a roller coaster of comedy and
drama, Ugly on the Inside takes the audience on a fun but scary ride.
This play was adapted from the short film of the same name about the cycle
that many women get caught in when it comes to men and relationships (the DVD
is available at www.ImaginalCellsInc.com). The style is natural and should not be
played over the top. The characters are not cartoons or caricatures: they are real
people.
Although there is some comical violence in this play (directed toward Charlie),
the violence aimed at the women should not be toned down, rather it should be a
realistic representation of a man hitting a woman. The playwrights suggest a Q&A
with the audience after the play to discuss the reality of domestic violence.
Lastly, to all women everywhere – stop the cycle.
To our amazing high school drama teachers,
Lisa Roseman and Paul Fouhy - thanks for the encouragement.
Darkness. The sound of an old pickup truck approaching on a dirt road. The engine quits, the two doors of the
truck open and then close. A substantial THUD hits the
ground. Then the sound of two women breathing heavily, grunting and straining; the scraping of boot heels
and a heavy object being dragged across the dirt. Lights
rise as DELLA, wearing a wedding gown and veil, and
RAYANNE, who is in a bridesmaid’s dress, enter. Both
are sweaty and dirty. RAYANNE has blood splatter on
the front of her dress approximately waist high. DELLA
has a few blood smears on her gown. They are dragging
the lifeless body of CHARLIE across the stage, face up,
toward the open grave. CHARLIE is wearing a powder
blue tuxedo, cowboy boots, a belt, and oh yeah, he has a
cake knife sticking out of his gut. A big blood stain has
soaked up into his white shirt.
The stage is bare except for a mound of freshly shoveled
dirt, obscuring a shallow grave upstage center. A shovel
is downstage a bit from the grave. A wilting bridal bouquet and a little white purse with tiny fabric flowers
glued to the clasp lay askew on the mound as if they have
been momentarily abandoned.
The two women drag the body towards the grave and
drop it onto the mound. They stand motionless (with
their backs to the audience) in front of the body for a
moment and then, in unison, reach down and roll the
body upstage into the grave so it is out of view.
The two women stand over the open grave for what seems
like an eternity until…
9
10
U G LY O N T H E I N S I D E
RAYANNE. I—
DELLA. Don’t.
RAYANNE. But—
DELLA. Sshhhh!
RAYANNE. But—
DELLA. Don’t say a word!
RAYANNE. (After a moment, softly.) I’m sorry.
DELLA. I’m not talking to you. (DELLA crosses D.S. to the
shovel.)
RAYANNE. I’m sorry!
DELLA. Sorry? (She crosses back to the grave.)
RAYANNE. It was an accident.
DELLA. It’s always an accident. (She chunks the shovel into the
mound of dirt.)
RAYANNE. No, it was.
DELLA. There are 37 people waiting for us back at the
Lucky Elvis Wedding Chapel as we speak. I... what am I
going to tell my parents?
RAYANNE. What do you usually tell them?
(DELLA cuts RAYANNE a hard look.)
RAYANNE. I didn’t mean--!
DELLA. Charlie was the one, Rayanne. The one. (She pitches
a shovel full of dirt into the grave.)
RAYANNE. I know.
DELLA. Everything was perfect; the flowers, the music –
Vegas in Springtime. I’m wearing my special wedding
night lingerie. Do you know how many times I’ve worn
my special wedding night lingerie? It doesn’t even
have a tear in it!
U G LY O N T H E I N S I D E
11
(RAYANNE is counting dead fiancés on her fingers.)
DELLA. I want a tear in my teddy! Is that so much to ask
for? (DELLA drives the shovel into the mound and leaves it
standing straight up. She turns to confront RAYANNE.)
RAYANNE. (Unsure of the number.) Five?
DELLA. Do you hate me, Rayanne?
RAYANNE. Six?
DELLA. Do you hate me? What do you have against me?
You’ve always been my first choice for Maid of Honor.
You’re my best friend.
RAYANNE. I am.
DELLA. Maybe you’re just jealous of me getting a little bit
of attention. Charlie always said, “Watch out for that
Rayanne. She’s got crazy eyes!” So, I’m just asking you,
do you hate me?
RAYANNE. No, I love you, Della.
DELLA. Then why don’t you want me to be happy?
RAYANNE. It was an accident.
DELLA. I swear if you-RAYANNE. (Over DELLA.) I had to.
DELLA. Why?
RAYANNE. He was all over me.
DELLA. Charlie’s just friendly.
RAYANNE. He put his tongue in my ear.
DELLA. Maybe it was an “accident.”
RAYANNE. He wanted me.
DELLA. How do you know?
RAYANNE. He said, “I want you, bitch, I want you bad.”
DELLA. So you stabbed him with the cake knife?
12
U G LY O N T H E I N S I D E
RAYANNE. No-- I mean, yeah... I mean, well, not right then.
DELLA. (Frustrated.) Rayanne!
(RAYANNE is startled by DELLA’S outburst. She tries to
regain her composure while she explains.)
RAYANNE. You were in getting ready and I was cutting the
little candy corns into flowers to make a halo around
Elvis’s head. He was so handsome when he was young.
Especially in “Kissing Cousins” but that wasn’t my favorite. I would have to say “Love Me Tender” was probably
my... (RAYANNE notices DELLA is glaring at her again.)
Anyway, Charlie came into the kitchen. He said, “I
want you, bitch. I want you bad.” (RAYANNE looks tentatively at DELLA.) I told you that part already.
DELLA. (Dryly.) Is that when he stuck his tongue in your
ear?
RAYANNE. Well, more or less. It kind of was just all over
the place. I told him to stop but he just kept pushing
against me and he was really stinky.
DELLA. Well, you know how he gets when he drinks. (DELLA
begins to shovel more dirt into the grave.) Men are like
that.
RAYANNE. (Softly.) He hit me, Della.
(DELLA stops cold.)
RAYANNE. I pushed him off me and he fell back and landed
on the armadillo cheese log. I told him to get out or I
would tell you. He said, “Shut up, Rayanne.” Then he
hit me. Nobody hits me, Della, nobody.
DELLA. (Softly.) Oh, sweetie...
RAYANNE. I was still holding the cake knife so it just seemed
like the natural thing to do. But before I could do
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