NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2012 — page 1 of 6
Assessment Schedule – 2012
English: Read and respond critically to unfamiliar prose and poetry texts (90724)
Evidence Statement
QUESTION ONE – Text A: Creative Industries
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
Identifies the mood and gives an
example of at least ONE valid
language feature from the first
paragraph that establishes the
mood.
Identifies the mood and gives an
example of at least ONE valid
language feature from the first
paragraph that establishes the
mood.
Identifies the mood and gives an
example of at least ONE valid
language feature from the first
paragraph that establishes the
mood.
AND
AND
AND
Makes a relevant comment about
how the mood is linked to at least
ONE other idea or image from
elsewhere in the text.
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion of how the mood is
linked to at least ONE other idea or
image from elsewhere in the text.
Presents an integrated discussion
of how the mood is linked to at least
ONE other idea or image from
elsewhere in the text.
There may be more than one
reference point, and the discussion
will provide more detail and depth.
There will be a sense that
connections are being made across
the passage in a sustained
response.
Possible moods of the city might include:
• busy, active, lively, energetic, self-important, progressive, productive, creative.
Examples of language features in the first paragraph
Listing (also Jargon)
• “jostling, hustling, upsizing, downscaling, remarketing, expanding, consolidating and out-sourcing”
Alliteration
• “PowerPoint presentation” – plosive sounds are energetic
Compound words
• “action-item”, bullet-points”, “upsizing”, “downscaling”, “out-sourcing”, “out-strips” – suggest busyness, liveliness
Collective / plural first-person pronoun
• “…our city’s …”
Metaphor
• “… they can turn the world on its head …”
• “The central city is flooded …”
Hyperbole
• “The central city is flooded with young MBAs”
• “Everyone is original, everyone has a bold new idea …”
Repetition
• “creative people”, “creative energy”
• “Everyone is original, everyone has a bold new idea …”
Colloquial language
“These days”
Comments / discussion linking the chosen mood to images and ideas elsewhere in the text may refer to the
perception of:
• arrogance in the writer’s tone
• condescension in the writer’s attitude towards the young / emerging business people
• a sense of the writer’s cynicism and / or power
• the energy of first paragraph being sustained through figurative language and / or cliché (eg “… all of them
brimming with enough energy to set the business world aflame” – lines 16–17)
NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2012 — page 2 of 6
QUESTION TWO – Text A
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
Identifies and gives examples of the
writer’s attitude to creative people
Identifies and gives examples of the
writer’s attitude to creative people
Identifies and gives examples of the
writer’s attitude to creative people
AND
AND
AND
Makes a relevant comment about
this attitude, referring to at least
ONE technique.
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion of this attitude, referring
to at least ONE technique.
Presents an integrated discussion
of this attitude, with support from the
text including reference to at least
ONE technique.
There will be a sense that
connections are being made across
the passage.
Possible attitudes of the writer to creative people might include:
• dismissive, arrogant, threatening, confident, cynical; but also
• receptive, appreciative
• a deliberately exaggerated tone of opposition to imply in fact approval of creative people.
If “scepticism and disapproval” (line 24) is quoted, the words must be unpacked.
Examples of specific techniques that support the writer’s attitude
Cliché
• “These days …” (line 1)
• the young executives “think that they can turn the world on its head” (line 2)
First-person pronouns
• “my”, “me”, “I”
Adjectives
• “excessive innovation … radical new promotion plan” (lines 11–12)
Hyperbole
• “vibrant young marketing genius” (line 11)
• “there are thousands of creative types” (line 15)
• “a business can overdose on creativity” (lines 17–18)
Verb choice (negative)
• “overdose on creativity” (lines 17–18)
• “stamp down hard on … originality” (line 19)
• “crushed … advertising proposals” (line 20)
• “upset promising career trajectories” (line 21)
• “my face souring” (line 23)
Assumptions
• “The creative energy at work … out-strips that of any painters’ retreat or writers’ colony.” (lines 5–6)
• “Successful firms always need someone …” (lines 18–19)
Compounding
• “junior-vice-president-of-something-or-other” (line 9)
Metaphor
• “A business can overdose on creativity”
• “I am every young executive’s nightmare father” (line 24)
Alliteration
• “promotion plan … query his calculations” (line 12)
• convincingly coloured … table, tall … headful of greying hair … souring with scepticism” (lines 21–24)
NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2012 — page 3 of 6
QUESTION THREE – Text B: Compass
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
Identifies examples of contrast
Identifies examples of contrast
Identifies examples of contrast
AND
AND
AND
Makes a relevant comment about
the poet’s use of contrast to express
her ideas.
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion of the poet’s use of
contrast to express her ideas.
Presents an integrated discussion
of the poet’s use of contrast to
express her ideas.
There will be a sense that
connections are being made across
the whole poem.
Examples of contrast
• between safety (“stay-at home”) and excitement (“successfully striding”)
• between freedom (“striding”) and entrapment (“harnessed”)
• between (the offered choices of) caution and the taste of possibility (“would you be the centre or the foot …?”,
“would you rather pierce what you touch …?”)
• between perfection (“the perfect circle”) and the possibilities of danger (“piercing what you touch”)
• between merely repeating an action or behaviour (“nothing to do … but describe … the perfect circle”) and
discovery (the “who knows what”)
• between staying at home and wandering
• between the golden compass and the silver box – both are rare and beautiful; the compass has richer qualities
than the box it comes in, which has harmful “cutting edges”
• between being the “centre” or the “foot” – the centre has connotations of being more important yet it must remain
stationary “as balance”
• between something “dainty” and something that “pierce(s) what you touch”
• between the foot that can draw a perfect circle and the centre that is there for balance – ultimately the foot goes
further than the “stay-at-home” point
• between experience and isolation.
There may be a discussion of how the poet presents choices to the reader and contemplates how a person could
live their life if they were like a compass. The compass is used to present a choice between two contrasting (but
constrained) modes of existence, both of which the poet rejects in the last stanza, suggesting she would rather
“taste every drop of distance” of the ground in between them – there is perhaps more freedom and choice if you
were to be the radius of the circle the compass has created.
There may be an unpacking of the metonymy of “geometry” – the idea that the poet has been overwhelmed by a
science that she can’t explain or decide on until she has considered it fully.
NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2012 — page 4 of 6
QUESTION FOUR – Text B: Compass
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
Identifies a relevant conclusion
established in lines 16–19 and
Identifies and gives an example of at
least ONE language technique used
to establish this conclusion
Identifies a relevant conclusion
established in lines 16–19 and
Identifies and gives an example of at
least ONE language technique used
to establish this conclusion
Identifies a relevant conclusion
established in lines 16–19 and
Identifies and gives an example of at
least ONE language technique used
to establish this conclusion
AND
AND
AND
Begins to make a relevant
comment about how at least ONE
technique is used to lead to this
conclusion.
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion of how at least ONE
technique is used to lead to this
conclusion.
Presents an integrated discussion
with support from the text about how
at least ONE technique is used to
lead to this conclusion.
There will be a sense that
connections are being made across
the whole poem.
Possible conclusion
If you have to be a compass, the choice is actually not between being “the centre or the foot of the compass”, as
you are both the cautious “stay-at-home” and the adventurous “wanderer”, and experience the limitations of both.
But there is another choice – to be the space in between them, experiencing everything.
Examples of language techniques used to lead to a conclusion
Emotive language / word choice
• “short foot harnessed” – convey a sense of limitation, captivity, restraint
• “dainty pencil” – a specific adjective, perhaps to suggest protection or a protective instinct
• “perfect circle” – you always come back home
• “golden compass”, “silver box” – suggest the perfection and precision of a compass
• “cutting edges … sliced through my finger” – convey realism, sensual engagement
Questions
• The poet presents questions / choices to the reader, but concludes by taking a different choice herself
Personal pronouns
• “you” is used up until the last two lines where the poet comes to her own sense of what she’d like to be and she
uses “I” instead – she distances herself from the reader or the imagined compass.
Diction
• Use of mathematical terms (“describe”, “origin”, “radius”) and terms that refer to measurement (“the wide open
measured mouth”, “distance”) links back to “foot to foot” and the “perfect circle” / “geometry”
Repetition
• “describe / describe the perfect circle” – the poet is reflective but also stressing the repetitive nature of the
pencil’s existence, always returning to where it began (“meet your origins”)
• “stay-at-home” – suggesting the desire to be safe is stronger than the desire for experience
Metaphor
• “the short foot harnessed to a dainty pencil” – conveys a sense of a lack of freedom
Extended metaphor of the compass itself
• linking words like “highway”, “wandering”, “striding”
Enjambment
• (examples in almost every line) – convey a reflective / thoughtful (hesitant) tone
Rhetorical questions
• “would you be the centre or the foot of the compass?”
• “But if you are a compass have you really a choice?”
Personification
• “the wide-open measured mouth of the radius tasting every drop of distance” – convey the sense that travel,
control are very personal, intimate matters
Superlative
• “perfect circle” – suggesting perfect control but also a lack of imagination
NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2012 — page 5 of 6
QUESTION FIVE – Comparison of Texts A and B
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
Identifies at least ONE aspect of
each writer’s attitude toward control
Identifies and gives an example of
at least ONE aspect of each
persona’s attitude toward control
Identifies and gives an example of
at least ONE aspect of each
persona’s attitude toward control
AND
AND
AND
Refers to each text to exemplify
each writer’s attitude to control.
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion comparing and
contrasting each writer’s attitude
control.
Presents an integrated discussion
comparing and contrasting each
writer’s attitude to control. The focus
may be on the attitudes and how
they shape the texts.
There will be some attempt to
compare and contrast the texts in
some way.
There may be some explicit or
implicit reference to language
techniques.
There may be some explicit or
implicit reference to language
techniques.
There may be some unevenness in
the discussion of the two texts.
“Comparing and contrasting” implies that the candidate will write about similarities and differences in the writers’
attitudes to their respective environments. Note that comparisons are not limited to similarities.
Evidence may be repeated from previous responses.
Attitude of Writer A
Attitude of Writer B
• sees himself as controlling “pointless originality” – he
is “not afraid to stamp down hard” on it
• feels a loss of control at the start of the poem –
“overtaken by geometry”, overtaken by her
observations on life
• he is able to have a balance, he appreciates control –
“weighing its qualities and costs”
• control means being “harnessed” by something else –
it is something exerted on you
• he believes he can exert control by a “raised eyebrow”
or a “convincingly coloured pie-chart”
• he stares down (controls) people who dare to “think
outside the box”
• his list of infinite verbs (“jostling, hustling, upsizing”
etc) suggests he is suspicious of creativity and wants
more control
• the “perfect circle” is controlled by the point of the
compass – this isn’t exactly what she wants, but she
considers it
• he believes that he is employed to “stand in the way”
of too much change – to control change
• to be controlled means ending up back where you
started – there is no change
• he queries, he makes suggestions, he points out risks
in order to maintain a sense of control
• she questions whether control is desirable
• he is cautious, he puts things in place and is ready to
implement them (through his use of “flowcharts and
diagrams”) in order to control the risk to “market
share”
• if you are a compass, you give up control / it controls
you – you don’t really have choices
• he sees himself as one of few who knows how to
control things
• choosing not to be controlled by the two parts of the
compass means you explore the life in between them,
you can experience everything
NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2012 — page 6 of 6
QUESTION SIX – Discussion of Texts A and B
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
Identifies and gives an example of at
least ONE stylistic feature from each
text
Identifies and gives an example of at
least ONE stylistic feature from each
text
Identifies and gives an example of at
least ONE stylistic feature from each
text
AND
AND
AND
Refers to each text to show how the
stylistic features convey a sense of
danger or caution.
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion comparing and / or
contrasting how the writers use
stylistic features to convey a sense
of danger and / or caution.
Presents an integrated discussion
comparing and / or contrasting how
the writers use stylistic features to
convey a sense of danger and / or
caution.
There may be some attempt to
compare and / or contrast the texts
in some way.
There may be some unevenness in
the discussion of the two texts.
Evidence may be repeated from previous responses.
Comparison of similar stylistic features could include:
• both texts use emotive language (“crushed”, “scepticism and disapproval” / “cutting”, “sliced”, “pierce”, “sharp
deep”)
• both use jargon (“action-item list”, “PowerPoint”, “merger”, “flowcharts” / “describe”, “origin”, “radius”)
• both texts use personification (“a business can overdose on creativity” / “the wide-open measured mouth …
tasting every drop”)
• both texts use figurative language (“would you rather pierce what you touch / putting out who knows what eyes of
light …?”)
• both texts use a personal voice
• Both texts use hyperbole (“I have crushed daring advertising proposals with little more than a convincingly
coloured pie-chart” / “Once I was overtaken by geometry”)
• Both texts end positively, using the first person “I”, with a turning point that contrasts with an earlier position
• Both texts use colourful / violent verbs (“stamp down hard”, “I have crushed” / “sliced through my finger”, “pierce
what you touch”)
Contrast of stylistic features could include:
• writer A doesn’t explain his switch to a positive view of creativity at the conclusion (“I am good at weighing its
quality and its costs”) – it is just a bald statement; writer B concludes by presenting an alternative proposal that
reflects on what has gone before (“I would rather …”)
• writer A uses repetition (“Everyone is original, everyone has a bold new idea”, “I have crushed …. I have upset
…”)
• writer A creates a (cynically) humorous tone through the constant exaggeration; writer B creates a contemplative,
even threatening tone through the use of diction (associated with violence, captivity and restraint)
• writer A uses simple sentences that result in threatening statements (“I am very good at my job.” / “I eat human
resources for breakfast.”)
• writer B uses the personal pronoun you to address the reader (“if you had to choose”, “would you rather”, “But if
you are”, “Are you not wholly”)
• writer B uses interrogative questions (“If you had to choose …?”, “have you really a choice?”)
Judgement Statement
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
3A
2M+1A
1E+2A