DIANNE NELMES (1963 -1970) REMEMBERS MISS WHITLOW - A HEADMISTRESS AHEAD OF HER TIME
Her name was Olga but to me she will always be “Miss Whitlow” - the diminutive and gently
mannered headmistress who led my days at The Holt with the hidden force of a tornado.
The Holt seemed huge and frightening when I arrived, aged 11, after a long bus and train journey
from the village of Sunningdale where I lived. Gone was the tiny village primary school where I had
been so secure and happy, and in its place what seemed to me to be a sprawling school with neverending corridors and scary teachers who told me to “stand up straight” and pronounce my “t’s.”
A sensitive, highly strung child, the early days of my transition to what was then a pretty formal girls’
grammar school were traumatic - but through all the imagined chaos I remember the striking
presence of Miss Whitlow.
As I walked in line to my first school assembly, I recall what seemed to me the HUGE school stage
and behind the oak lectern, the reassuring presence of the headmistress.
With erect posture, her dark hair turned almost white and swept into an elegant pleat, Miss Whitlow
was the first person I had ever seen in a black academic gown, and her gentle words of welcome
immediately calmed me.
Somehow I knew this important person, this woman who radiated goodness and tranquillity, would
look after me.
I was not alone in this somewhat arrogant belief. Many of the friends I made at The Holt felt the
maternal presence of Miss Whitlow. My very close friend, Deborah Oakley, believes we were “very
privileged to have Miss Whitlow as our headmistress.”
“When I think of her it is with memories of her kindness, dignity, wisdom and humour. She had a
beautiful smile and a definite twinkle in her eye,” said Deborah.
Miss Whitlow was a woman years ahead of her time in her aspiration and ambition for girls of the
60’s: if we wanted anything badly enough we could achieve it; we could be whoever and whatever
we wanted to be; and our social development and behaviour was as important as passing exams.
At 16, I launched a school newspaper, HOLT ALPHA. I wrote the most pretentious, naïve
articles…calling for the abolition of the exam system; the end of commercialised Christmas and, in
one piece, reassured everyone that Communism could still save Britain! Miss Whitlow encouraged
me every step of the way and I recall her engaging me in lively and challenging conversation about
my latest outpouring of arrogance or ignorance.
It was Miss Whitlow who masterminded the first 6th Form unit at The Holt, handing us all a big selfcontained area where we could create our own space. My friend Mary Needham, a gifted and lively
A Level art student, erected a huge easel and created incredible works of art. Stunningly pretty,
Mary wandered in and out in long, floating gowns- oblivious to the convention of appropriate school
dress and secure in Miss Whitlow’s silent approval.
I always believed Miss Whitlow had a soft spot for rebels. My close friend Rosemarie Kelly spent all
of her years at The Holt fighting the system. She recalls many hours spent outside Miss Whitlow’s
office, waiting for the” engaged” sign to change to “enter” and the long conversations with the
headmistress who she always felt was secretly on her side.
“I remember her telling me so gently one day that it upset her that I made my life so hard at school.
She asked me what she, the Head, could do to help because she felt the school was failing me. I felt
so ashamed,” Rosemarie told me.
When we met Miss Whitlow at one of the many Holt Association lunches she attended I was amazed
at her instant recall of all of us. Once she knew a name she knew the girl. As Rosemarie introduced
herself Miss Whitlow said, with the legendary twinkle in her eye: “Are you still rebelling - I do hope
so!”
Another friend, Sue Plumridge, also remembers being a regular outside Miss Whitlow’s office usually after school reports were given out. “I was always terrified but she was the nicest, kindest
most positive lady - the epitome of what a headmistress should be …kind, firm, understanding and
commanding respect by just being “her,” said Sue.
This wonderful woman supported all of us in public and, sometimes, in private. At the age of 16 my
education at The Holt faced a crisis when my absent father stopped paying maintenance for me. My
mother was earning meagre wages as a waitress and I decided I must leave school. I found a job and
was on the verge of joining a local newspaper when the headmistress summoned me to her office.
Distinctly NOT a rebel, I waited in trepidation to enter - only to be greeted with warmth,
understanding and the spirit of steel that was Miss Whitlow: leaving school was completely out of
the question. Within weeks my mother received a letter from the Berkshire education authority
awarding me a substantial grant. The allowance was more than my father had paid. This enabled
me to stay in school, complete my A Levels and eventually go to university.
That grant was organised by Miss Whitlow and another remarkable teacher and mentor, Jean
Goswell and I know from her that that Miss Whitlow helped many other girls to complete their
education when they faced serious obstacles or crises. She relished challenge and I suspect rarely
failed to get her way.
Miss Whitlow was unique—a woman heading a girls’ grammar school as Britain began to change and
the post-war baby boom saw teenage girls heading into a society on the brink of cultural and social
revolution. She created a school that prepared most of us for the kind of opportunities our mothers
never had, but also for the challenges our increased freedoms would inevitably present.
When I attended the wonderful party The Holt Association held at the school to celebrate Miss
Whitlow’s 100th birthday I was, as ever, struck by the talent, charm and good manners of the
students. I watched as my headmistress talked intently to a young student who must have been 85
years younger than her - and I saw the legacy of Miss Whitlow live on. She was a legend in her
lifetime and she will remain a legend in mine.