& other G-rated substitutes
for cuss words.
from the
No Cussing Club
(Over 100 substitutes, from A to Z )
www.nocussing.com
TM
Oh Pickles, Sassafras, Barnacles &
other G-rated substitutes for cuss words.
(Over 100 substitutes, from A to Z )
Copyright 2008 Dawson Publishing
One of the most frequently asked questions we get here
at the No Cussing Club is:
“What other words can I use?”
While we think there other ways to express your anger or your
coolness, we recognize that you may need to take some baby
steps to get there. So we have compiled a list of words that
you could use in place of cuss words that have become habit.
While we have had some fun here, we do believe that there is
some practical use for this book.
Words are simply expressions of our thoughts and emotions.
So ultimately, it really comes down to controlling our thoughts
and emotions.
Here at the NCC, we think that one of the ways to do this is to
change the words that we habitually use. If softer, more polite
words become our habit, then we think it has the effect of
lessening the intensity of the situation and therefore our
reaction to it.
But this will take some practice. Practice makes perfect
Good Luck! And remember, Don’t Cuss!
Be advised: If you use the words and expressions contained in this
book, you might find yourself laughing (and possibly diffusing your anger
and the situation.)
AAAAAHHHH!
For the next time you get ripped
off at the fast food drive thru!
AAAAHHHH! Where’s my fries?
Absurd! When the toilet backs up because
someone used too much toilet paper.
Aha!
When a bird drops a bomb on your newly
washed car.
Ai Yai Yai! When you are late to school or work.
Applesauce! When you finally get to school or
work and realize you forgot to put on deodorant.
Awful! When you forget to charge your cell phone.
Balderdash! When you’ve been standing in line
for 2 hours at the DMV.
Baloney! When you realize you didn’t need to
stand in line because you can do it online!
Barnacles! When your computer crashes.
Blankety Blank! When you realize its because
your friend e-mailed you a virus.
Blather!
When you don’t know what to say.
1
Carumba!
For the next time you lock
your keys in your car!
Bomb! This is a happy substitute
to express your approval “That’s the
bomb!”
Boy oh boy! When you drop a
call because you’re in a bad cell area.
Bummer! When hit your head.
Bunk! When you smash your finger.
Bunkum! The next time you stub your toe.
Carumba! Anybody got triple A?
Can you believe it? When you get a ticket for
going 5 miles over the speed limit.
Cheap!
When you realize that speeding tickets are
not cheap!
Crazy! The next time you fill p your gas tank!
Crummy! When you get spaghetti sauce on your
new shirt.
2
Doggone it!
When you step in dog stuff.
Dang! For when you bite your tongue.
Darn! For when you’re trying to bite your tongue.
Daggone! Southern twist on “Doggone”
Dern! Southern twist on “Darn”
Dirt! When you trip and hit the dirt.
Doggone it! Anybody got a diaper wipe?
Drag! When you track dog stuff into your car.
Dude! When someone cuts you off on the freeway.
3
EEEWWW!
When you find a hair in your food.
EeK! When something scares you.
Ew! Did you see the guy who was
making your hamburger?
Now here come the F substitutes. We think its better to stay
away from these. But they are certainly better than using the
real deal, in case you’ve gotten into that habit.
Fetch! When your team loses the big game.
Flamin’! When you spill a hot drink in your lap.
Flimflam! Who uses this? Oh well, try it.
Flip! When you get to school and realize you forgot
your homework.
Flippin’ Sweet!
Expression of joy. Like when
someone gives you their tatter tots.
Frak
Anyone remember Battlestar Galactica (from the
80’s)?
Freak! When the vending machine eats your money.
Foul! For the next time you clean your refrigerator.
Fungus! When you’ve eaten half a sandwich and
discover the bread is moldy.
4
Garbage!
When you get to the
checkout stand and realize
you left your wallet at home.
Gadzooks! When you drive away from the gas
station with the pump still attached to your car (my
dad really did that).
Garbage! When you get to the checkout stand and
realize you left your wallet at home.
Gee Wiz! When you drive all the way home and
realize your wallet was in your pocket the whole time.
Gibberish!
When a telemarketer calls you from
another country during dinner.
Give me a break!
When there’s no more toilet
paper.
Gobbledygook! When your ice cream falls off the
cone.
Golly! When you’re surprised.
Golleeee! When you’re really surprised!
Goofy! When you have a bad hair day.
Gosh! When someone cusses at you.
5
Holy Cow!
When you spill your milk.
Heck! When you burn dinner.
Hey! When someone cuts in line.
Hogwash! When you get to work and realize your
shirt has yellow stains in the armpits.
Holy Cow! No use crying!
Holy Toledo! When you’re lost in Ohio.
Hooey! When you don’t believe what someone is
telling you.
Hot Tamale! When you burn your tongue.
Huh? When a burglar sues you and wins.
Humbug! When you have to work on a holiday.
I’ll be a monkey’s uncle! When your nephew
breaks your window.
Icky! When you have to use a public restroom!
Inconceivable! When you’ve looked in every stall
and decided to hold it.
6
Jumpin’
Crocodiles!
When its pouring
down rain and . . .
Jumpin’ Crocodiles!
When its pouring down
rain and you don’t have an umbrella.
Junk! When its pouring down rain and your car battery
is dead because you left your lights on.
Knock it off!
When its pouring down rain and you
left your car window down.
Kowabunga!
When the car in front of you slams
on their brakes.
Lame! When you hit the car in front of you.
Leapin Lizzards! When the car behind you rear
ends you.
Lousy! When they have no insurance.
Malarkey! When they both sue you.
Man! When you lose in court.
Mashugana! When your car insurance goes up!
Mumbo Jumbo! For when you’re filling out
mountains of paperwork.
7
Pickles!
When you drop a jar of pickles
or jelly because someone didn’t
put the lid on all the way.
My Oh My! When your pants tear.
Neato! When you’re at a 50’s dance.
Nincompoop! When you’re mad at yourself.
No Way! When you can’t find your car in the
parking lot!
Nonsense!
When you find your car with a note on it
that reads “sorry about the dent on your door”.
Oh My! When your printer won’t work.
Oh No! When someone loosened the cap of the salt
shaker and you poured it all over your dinner.
Oops! When someone offers you a piece of gum(hint)!
Ouch! When a tortilla chip goes in between your teeth.
Pickles! Tip – don’t pick up jars by the lid!
Paleez!!!! (Please) When you hit every red light
Poppycock! When there’s a traffic jam for no
apparent reason.
Quit it!
Because I need something for “Q”.
8
When you’re an hour late
because of daylight savings.
Rad! OK this is 80’s but it was cool!
Rank! When your in a crowed elevator and there’s
suddenly a strange smell.
Ridiculous! When you’ve been sitting in the
lobby at the doctor’s office for an hour.
Rotten!
When you’ve been sitting in the doctor’s
checkup room for an hour (in that silly gown).
Rubbish! When the doctor sees you for 5 minutes.
Sassafras! When you’re an hour late because of
daylight savings.
Shazam!
When you have a great idea and
someone interrupts you and you forget it.
Sheesh! When someone is rude.
Shoot! When you miss the game winning shot.
Shucks! When you sit in gum.
Sick! Used to mean “gross”! But now it means
“Cool”! That’s sick dude!
9
Succotash!
What’s Sufferin’ about it?
Silly! When you can’t open the child proof lid.
Stink! When you can’t remember the words to your
favorite song.
Succotash!
Some people say “Sufferin’ Succotash”.
Guess its because you suffer when you eat it?
Tarnation! When your contact rolls back behind
your eye.
Tomfoolery! When you’re trying to fix something.
Twaddle! Twaddle? Look it up. It’s a real word!
Uuugh! When you try to kick the football and the
place holder moves it.
Uh Oh! Spaghettio
Unbelievable! When you’re going through your
bills.
10
Waffle!
Nonsense!
Waffle! Never knew this meant “Nonsense”!
Well I’ll be! When the waiter spills ice cold water in
your lap.
What?
When the 15% gratuity is still included in your
bill.
What in the world?
When you pour yourself a
bowl of cereal and find out there’s no milk.
X - Sorry nothing for X.
Yikes! When you slam in to a glass door.
Yowza! When you get a paper cut.
Yuck! When your brother uses your tooth brush!
Zowee! For the next time your fixing a light switch and
forget to turn of the breaker first.
11
Oh Pickles, Sassafras, Barnacles &
other G-rated substitutes for cuss words.
(Over 100 substitutes, from A to Z )
People always ask us,
“What other words can we use?”
How about
BALDERDASH !
or
GADZOOKS !
from the
No Cussing Club
www.nocussing.com
TM