Cent a’ nni.
Italy ’s Changing Wedding Traditions
By Carol Cummings
“Cent’anni!” [May this last 100
years!] is one of the traditional toasts
Italians offer newlyweds at wedding
receptions. Although many such
traditions are still honored in Italy,
the younger generation is making
changes that someday might become
“traditions.”
When To Marry?
Throwing rice at newlyweds
is symbolic of fertility.
Italian weddings are relatively few in May or August.
May is dedicated to the Virgin Mary, while August is the
month most Italians leave town on extended vacations
and religious Italians don’t marry during Lent or Advent.
But today, a growing number of couples are marrying in
May although June, July and September remain the most
popular months, according to Valentina Lombardi, a
wedding planner in Piedmont.
“Traditionally, wedding are held on Sunday morning…
with a Catholic mass at 11:30 AM or noon, [followed by]
a wedding feast, with music and dancing afterward,” she
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18 says. Increasingly, however, Italians
are choosing to marry on Saturday
and offer their guests an evening
dinner instead of a lavish afternoon
luncheon. Some also opt to marry
out of season, in April or October,
to secure a lower price on villas, the
popular location choice for Italians
wedding receptions.
Mixed marriages have also led to
a further abandonment of tradition. According to ISTAT,
the Italian National Institute for Statistics, over nine percent of marriages in Italy in 2009 were between an Italian
and a non-Italian. Of all marriages between a foreigner
and an Italian, Italians most often marry Romanians.
Another 12 percent are mixed marriages while marriages
to Moroccans amount to 7 percent.
The Importance of Green
In Italy, symbols auguring fertility play a very large role
in Italian wedding lore. The word “matrimony” itself is
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based on the Latin word, mater [mother], underscoring
that the purpose of marriage is to produce children.
Among the traditional symbols for fertility is the color
green. The day before her wedding, the bride wears a
green outfit. On the day of her wedding, in addition to
wearing something old, something new and something
borrowed, she wears something green instead of blue.
The rice traditionally thrown at the couple as they leave
the church is another symbol of fertility. Preparation of
the wedding bed, an old tradition, is still done even for
larger weddings. Generally, the wedding bed is prepared
by a married woman, but sometimes the family’s young
women make the bed.
Making It Official
Italians can marry in a church ceremony or at the city
hall. Most do not have bridesmaids and groomsmen,
although again, influenced by American films, some do.
It can prove difficult, however, for fashion-conscious Italian women to agree to wear the same dress in the same
color! Usually, couples opt
for the traditional ceremony in
which the bride and groom each
chooses one or two witnesses
(testimoni) to sign the registrar
at the church or the city hall,
making the marriage official
and legally binding. One of the
witnesses brings the rings.
After the nuptials, the guests
hold a procession or corteo
nuziale to the place where the
reception will be held. “All cars
are marked with a ribbon the
main color of the wedding,”
writes Lombardi. “They usually
honk to celebrate.”
Much of what takes place at
an Italian wedding reception
depends on regional traditions.
In the south, for example, a reception can last as long as three
days, although these marathon
parties are generally reserved
for the wealthy. In 2004, for example, Fiat heir, John Elkann
married the Italian countess,
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Lavinia Borromeo on Isola Madre on Lake Maggiore,
one of the Borromean Islands owned by the countess’s
family.
Their wedding party featured a 16-foot-high cake
depicting the Fiat Lingotto factory and a unicorn, the
symbol of the Borromeo family. The evening reception
was attended by more than 700 guests including Henry
Kissinger; the former Italian premier, Mario Monti; the
fashion designer, Valentino; and Carla Bruni-Sarkozy,
wife of the former president of France, Nicolas Sarkozy.
Less luxurious Italian wedding receptions usually last a
day, with the bride and groom sometimes continuing the
celebration at a nightspot. Italian weddings traditionally
have many guests. In the South, the number can be as
high as 300 people, while in the north, wedding guests
average between 100 and 120 people.
Buon Appetito!
Like most celebrations in Italy, traditional dishes are
an essential element at wedding receptions. Contrary to
what Americans believe, Italian
wedding soup isn’t commonly
served. Apparently, it is a translation of minestra maritata,
which refers to the “marriage”
of the soup’s tiny meatballs
or other meat and escarole,
the slightly bitter leafy green
vegetable, cooked together in
chicken broth. Of Neapolitan
origin, the soup is usually served
during the Christmas season.
While every region and every
town has its typical dishes, a
basic Italian wedding menu consists of a big buffet of antipasti
before the main meal, accompanied by an aperitivo, some
kind of alcoholic drink. Guests
mingle and relax while they wait
for the bride and groom, who
are usually having their wedding photos taken between the
ceremony and reception.
An Italian wedding reception can have as
many as 300 guests and cost as much as
$77,000.00
The first course is usually
homemade pasta, then meat or
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fish. Between courses, a sorbetto, a type of lemon ice with
a little vodka, might be served to cleanse the palate. For
dessert, guests enjoy a traditional Italian wedding cake,
made with sponge cake and Chantilly cream, but again,
under the American influence, a new trend is a tiered
wedding cake.
In many regions the ladies of the family prepare cookies
and decorated bread to be given to all guests, although
this is more popular in the south, especially in Sardinia and
Sicily. The bread, called pane degli sposi, [the newlyweds’
bread] is decorated with intricate flower, plant and heart
designs.
The Tradition of “Confetti”
Italian brides wear their mothers’ veils,
but not their wedding gowns.
All regions of Italy participate in the tradition of confetti, sugarcoated almonds that express the wish for the
new couple to have happiness, wealth, long life, health,
and, of course, the ever-present fertility. The bride either
circles the room offering the almonds to her guests, or
each guest receives a decorated bomboniera containing
three to five almonds – the odd number symbolizes that
the couple cannot be divided.
continued on page 30
Italian Wedding Customs and Popular Sayings
“Di venere e di marte, non si sposa e non si parte,” On Fridays and Tuesdays don’t
get married or take a trip (to avoid bad luck).
“Fra moglie e marito non si mette nemmeno un dito.” Between a husband and
wife don’t even put a finger.
“Sposa bagnata, sposa fortunata.” A wet bride is a lucky bride. Perhaps the rain is
a symbol of fertility…or the proverb just makes a rainy day bride feel better.
“Dopo i confetti, vengono i difetti.” After the wedding , come the complaints.
“Mogli e buoi dai paesi tuoi.” Get your wife and your ox from your own town.
In many Italian regions, the groom buys red roses for his bride in a number equal
to her age. If her age is an odd number, he buys one more.
An example of the
wedding “bonboniera” filled
with “confetti” or sugarcoated almonds they
symbolize fertility, prosperity
and good fortune.
SOUTHERN TRADITIONS
• The bride’s veil is passed from mother to daughter, but it is bad luck for the bride to wear her mother’s dress.
• In some regions, the guests throw old plates on the floor during the reception as a symbol of good luck.
NORTHERN TRADITIONS
•Zuccherini are served at most weddings in Bologna. These small ring-shaped cookies, made of flour and sugar,
are given as party favors.
• The groom chooses the bridal bouquet and waits outside the church. He gives the bride the bouquet as they
enter the church as a last gift before marriage.
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Italian American Crime Fighters from page 14
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Wedding Traditions from page 20
The bomboniera is a muslin or silk bag containing the
confetti and the names of the bride and groom. Sometimes
it is a gift such as a picture frame, vase or ceramic box.
According to research done by Anthony Parente of Italiansrus.com, the tradition dates back to the Middle Ages
when the families of engaged couples exchanged favors.
During the reception, traditional Italian love songs are
played while southern Italians often dance to the Tarantella, an upbeat circle dance.
A popular southern Italian tradition that is considered
“bad form” in America is the giving of le buste. During the
reception, the bride walks to each table of guests holding a
small silk bag tied to her wrist in which guests place envelopes (buste) of money to help the young couple get started
in life. In the North, some families cut the groom’s tie
and auction off the pieces to help pay for the honeymoon.
The average cost for a wedding in Italy today is between
$45,000 and $77,000, according to Federconsumatori,
an Italian non-profit whose main objectives are to inform
and protect consumers.
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In the south, especially in Sardinia and Sicily, an intricately
decorated bread, il pane degli sposi, is served.
But whatever traditions are followed or abandoned,
Italians will always toast the bride and groom, wishing
them a long and happy marriage. Evviva gli sposi!
Carol Cummings is a staff assistant at the Order Sons of
Italy in America living in Washington, D.C. Contact her at
[email protected].
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