Brainfuse Writing Lab
Welcome to the 24/7 writing lab!
Our overview comments, specific recommendations, and a recommended revisions checklist are
included in our tutor response form below. Additional comments are also found in the body of
your paper in bold or in parentheses below our tutor response form. Feel free to re-submit your
paper for further review after using our comments and suggestions to make the recommended
changes.
If you have additional questions, you can direct them to [email protected].
Thank you for choosing the Brainfuse Writing Lab and best wishes with your revisions!
Sample Writing Review – Spanish
Part 1 – Overview (Comentarios Generales)
¡Muchas gracias por su entrega!
Hola Sheila, you have a very nice style of writing and should do very well as you move forward in Spanish.
Your statements about culture are excellent, but make sure that you are responding to the writing prompt.
You have actually sidestepped your assignment when writing your paragraph. Instead of explaining
American culture as you would to a traveler from Spain, you spoke mainly about what culture is, and
how—if you tried to explain American culture—your explanation would be confusing. You might want to
write down some bullet points of things that seem to epitomize American culture and then discuss them in
your paragraph. Your paragraph will then include many specific details. By writing with your audience in
mind, you can also compare American culture to Spanish culture.
Sinceramente,
Tutor Cynthia D.
Part 2 – Content Development (Desarrolo de Contenidos)
Since you only have to write a paragraph, your first sentence (topic sentence) takes the place of a thesis and
should give an overview of what will be in your paragraph. You can then add specific details that describe
American culture. To tie all of your ideas together, your paragraph should end with a concluding sentence.
Part 3 – Grammar & Mechanics (Gramática y Mecánica)

I noticed that you sometimes forget to make sure your nouns and adjectives agree, as in
“definición fluido.” If a noun is feminine, as “definición” is, then the word/words that describe
the noun also need to be feminine – “fluida.”

Also, don’t forget that when a noun is plural, the adjective has to be plural, too, as in
“aspectos importantes.”

It would be good for you to review subjunctive forms, although you only needed the
subjunctive form in one place; however, the form you added, “ten,” is imperative (and the tu
form) rather than subjunctive.
Part 4 – Suggested Resources (Recursos Sugeridos)
http://www.oxfordlanguagedictionaries.com/Public/PublicResources.html?direction=b-esen&sp=S/oldo/resources/es/Effective-Spanish-es.html
Part 5 – Recommended Revisions Checklist (Lista de Reviciones Recomendadas)
To make the suggested revisions above, you can follow this checklist. If you would like to review my notes
on any step, you can also check the section of the form that is cited at the end of each entry. I also
encourage you to log on to Live Help to work on any one of these skills with a Brainfuse writing tutor.
 Directly respond to the question in your topic sentence.
(Part 2)
 Add specific details that capture key parts of American
culture and compare it with Spanish culture to help your
audience understand. (Part 2)
 End your paragraph with a concluding sentence that
synthesizes (or ties together) your view of American culture.
(Part 2)
 Make sure that your nouns and adjectives agree in gender
and number. (Part 3)
 Review the subjunctive form and replace your imperative
verb with it.
Additional Comments in Blue (Comentarios Adicionales en Azul)
I have also added specific comments to your paper. You will find them typed in blue below. In many cases,
the word, phrase, or mark that they refer to is also in blue.
How would you describe American culture to a Spanish Traveler? (Check capitalization)
Es un concepto muy difícil definir la cultura de un país. La cultura de un país ha
hecho construido desde las interraciónes entre diferentes grupos de personas.
Especialmente en los Estados Unidos, la cultura tiene una definición fluído (This
adjective needs to match the gender of “definición.”). Si yo tuve que describir la cultura
americano (Same thing here. Since “cultura” is feminine, the adjective needs to be
“americana.”) a un viajero española (“viajero” is masculine, so the describing word also
needs to be masculine – “español”), mi explicación (Words similar to these should be
added so that your sentence is grammatically correct.) sería muy confundido (This means
“confused,” so you might want to use “confundiendo” – confusing, or simply “confusa”
.). ¿Cualés son los aspetos más importante (This time the noun “aspectos” is plural, so
the adjective needs to be plural also – “importantes.”)? La cultura de los Estados Unidos
es algo personal. Es posible que cada persona ten (We want subjunctive present tense
here, so this would be “tenga.”) un (“opinión es feminina, so rather than “un,” we want
“una.”) opinión muy diferente con respeto a la definición de cultura. La cultura no es
algo físico, solamente es una idea. Pero muchas personas representan su cultura con
objetos como ropa o joya. Lo que es más importante es para (Here it would be best to
just say “Para representar…” or “Para representar más bien la cultura…”) representar la
cultura de los Estados Unidos, sea necesario describir la variedad que existe.