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35a Understanding
Coordination and
Subordination 737
35b Forming Compound
Sentences
738
35c Revising Faulty
Coordination
740
First
W
n Iy connect,"t h
e epIgrammatIc
"
.
'
. t herne f'rom E. M.
Forster's novel Howard's End, could well be the motto of every
efTective writer. Effective writing connects ideas and images .
and moves them forward. Among the writer's principal tools
for connecting ideas within a sentence (and for advancing
ideas from one sentence to another) arc the various ways of
coordinating or subordinating clauses, phrases, and words and
of using transitional phrases. Coordination and subordination
~
clarify the relationships between ideas, while also providing
Sentences 741
different possibilities for adding emphasis, varying sentence
35e Revising Faulty
construction, and adjusting rhythm to more strongly present
Subordination 744
your point of view.
Coordination shows readers that related ideas are roughlr
equal in importance. When you use coordination, check to be
sure that the two clauses, phrases, or words arc written in parallel form (see Chapter 34). Sub·;
ordination indicates that one idea is more important than the other.
35d Forming Complex
Examples of Coordination and Subordination
Coordinated words:
Coordinated phrases:
Coordinated independent clauses:
One clause subordinated to the other:
The work was hot and slow. [adjective + adjective]
A cowboy might find himself out of work in the
winter and would go from ranch to ranch looking
for a job or a meal. [verb phrase + verb phrase]
The Royal Governor recalled Randolph, so
Jefferson went in his place. [Each independent
clause has its own subject-verb pair.]
When the Royal Governor recalled Randolph,
Jefferson went in his place. [No longer grammati­
cally parallel because the word when changes the
first clause from independent to dependent]
Se
fo
••••
"
.
••••••
••
•••
••• ••
"enlY connect," the epigrammatic theme from E. M.
Forster's novel Howard's End, could well be the motto of every
JSa Understanding
effective writer. Effective writing connects ideas and image~
Coordination and
and moves them forward. Among the writer's principal tools
Subordination 737
for connecting ideas within a sentence (and for advancing
3Sb Forming Compound
ideas from one sentence to another) are the various ways of
Sentences 738
coordinating or subordinating clauses, phrases, and words and
3Sc Revising Faulty
of
using transitional phrases. Coordination and subordination
Coordination 740
clarif)' the relationships between ideas, while also providing
JSd Forming Complex
Sentences 741
different possibilities for adding emphasis, varying sentence
JSe Revising Faulty
construction, and adjusting rhythm to more strongly present
Subordination 744
your point of view.
Coordination shows readers that related ideas are roughly
eyual in importance. When you use coordination, check to be
sure that the two clauses, phrases, or words are written in parallel form (sec Chapter 34). Sub­
ordination indicates that one idea is more important than the other.
Examples of Coordination and Subordination
Coordinated words:
The work was hot and slow. [adjective + adjective]
Coordinated phrases:
A cowboy might find himself out of work in the
winter and would go [rom ranch to ranch looking
for a job or a meal. [verb phrase + verb phrase]
Coordinated independent clauses:
The Royal Governor recalled Randolph, so
Jefferson went in his place. [Each independent
clause has its own subject-verb pair.]
One clause subordinated to the other: When the Royal Governor recalled Randolph,
Jefferson went in his place. [No longer grammati­
cally parallel because the word when changes the
first clause from independent to dependent]
First draft: Unconnected sentences in need of direction
M.
very
ages
was not considered an dfective puhlic speaker. He was a tall awkward man. He wa,
:001s
Ill't Virgini:l's lirst choice for the Continental Congress. The Virginia delegate was to
cing
is of
have heen P:lyton Randolph. Randolph was the Speaker of the Virginia House :md
hy the Royal Governor and Jefferson went in his placL'. JeITersoll was 33. He was so
and
tion
ClIngress. The committee called to draft the declar:ltion
ding
~nce
sent
Thomas Jefferson is the author of the Declaration of Independence. JeITcrson
had heen reelected as President of the Continental Congrcss. Randolph was recalled
quiet that John Adams described him as the "silent member"' of thc Continental
W:1S
made up of Jdfcrson.
]'lhn Adams. Benjamin Franklin, Robert R. Livingstnn, and Roger Shennan. The
Declaration of Independence is the most import'lnt hist,'riL'al documellt in America.
The Declaratinn nf Independence is one nf the most important dOL"lllllents in Western
civilizatinn. The Declaration of Independence is one of the most l1l'hterfully written
dllcuments in Western civilization. Most Americans agree with these statements.
ghly
) be
;ub­
vel
e
Second draft: Focused paragraph with directions that help readers
follow the argument
Today we consider the Declaratinn of Independence nne nf the most
important documcnts in American history-indeed. one of the most important and
most masterfully written documents in Western civilization. Yet Thomas
ng
nt
.tcfkrson, the Declaration's primary author, was not L'wn Virginia's lirst chnice
for the Second Continental Congress. The Virginia dclegate was to have been
Payton Randolph, Speaker of the Virginia Hnuse, who had been reelected as the
Congress's president. When the Royal G'lVernor recalled Randolph, JeITerson
went ill his place. He was 33. Though an awkward public speaker (and so ljuiet as
to be describL'd by .tnhn Adams as '"the silent member" of the Cnntinental
The context for most sentences
is the paragraph. Consider the first
draft of the paragraph to the left:.
Do you find it clear or confusing?
Why?
The sentences in this paragraph
do little more than list a string of
facts, leaving the reader utterly
confused as to the purpose of the in­
formation. Such paragraphs­
grammatically correct but rhetori­
cally incfFcctive·~ ..are an unfinished
connect-the-dots picture. The
reader is left staring at the dots,
but no picture emerges.
Coordination and subordination
offer two methods of connecting
the dots .
• Coordination emphasizes that
the clauses, phrases, or words
joined are rhetorically and logi­
cally equivalent. To join two in­
dependent clauses into a com­
pound sentence, use a comma
and a coordinating conjunction
or use a semicolon.
• Subordination highlights one
clause and suppresses another.
To join an independent clause
and a dependent clause to cre­
ate a complex sentence, use a
subordinating conjunction or a
relative pronoun.
Congress). Jefferson was acknowledged as a forceful writer. When the
Continental Congress appointed a live-man cnmmittee to dr:ln a declaratinn
Itmnally annnuncing the ('nlonies' break from Great Britain, the
cllmmittee-made up of Jeffersnn. Adams. Benjamin Franklin. Rnbert R.
Livingston. and Roger Sherman-chose Jefferson tn write the docun1L'nl.
COORDINATION AND
SUBORDINATION IN CONTEXT
When rewriting a paragraph
with disconnected ideas, you
should be guided by your purpose
for writing. The second draft shows
one possible rewrite that relies
mostly on subordination.
737
Activity 35-1: Comparing the Drafts
Reread four or five sentences from the first draft on page 737, and then locate
them (or their revisions) in the second draft. Compare them, noting differences
in sentence order, word order, and punctuation. What revisions were made?
Which ones seem the most important for helping the reader understand the
writer's thoughts? Why? What story does the revised paragraph tell that is con­
cealed in the first draft l
I
ActiVitYil
Conjun
In the followi •.
from each pai I
~.
In July'
their covel
alty to the!
ment.The I
r
ernment
bonds,The!
five hundr .
01
.35b
Forming Compound Sentences
A compound sentence is
formed by connecting two inde­
pendent clauses with a comma and
a coordinating conjunction or with
a semicolon.
Example 0 Creating compound sentences by using coordinating
conjunctions
Notice the comma that always precedes the coordinating conjunction in a
compound sentence.
Addition vs. contrast:
Addition
Some dogs like to swim, and some dogs like to race in the snow,
Contrast
Some dogs like to race in the snow, but others prefer to
snooze by the fire.
Using a Comma and a
Coordinating
Conjunction
The most common way to form
compound sentences is to link two
independent clauses with a comma
and a coordinating conjunction:
and, but,yet, or, nor,Jor, or so. These
conjunctions have dilTerent mean­
ings and function dilTerendy within
a sentence:
Two kinds of contrast:
Dogs can be pets, but dogs can also be workers.
Many dogs are workers, yet even workers need love and praise.
Addition vs. choice:
Addition
Train a large dog to be obedient, and it becomes a happy
member of the family. Leave it untrained, and it becomes a
nuisance and a danger.
Choice
Either a large dog is trained to be a happy and obedient
member of the family, or it is left untrained and becomes a
nuisance and a danger.
dnd suggests addition or
SeC]UClll'l'
hut and fL'l suggest (.'onlrast
Of ,mel nOf SlI""cst choice or
~~
Addition vs. effect:
Addition
Border collies love to work, and most seem happier
gathering sheep than playing with small children.
Effect
Border collies have a zealous drive to run, work, and herd, so
it's better to keep them as working dogs than as family pets,
dltl'l'Ilati\'l's
.f~)r
suggests caUSl'S
so suggests ",flc'Cls or
l'l}fl Sl'C/li enl'l'S
738
35
COORDINATION AND SUBORDINATION
editors. H
received h
Example
Payton Ra
Jefferson
As respon
responsibl
Activity
Coordi
Combine eac
fore each co
I. Over the
abstract c
the calcul
2. In the nin
used slate
3. Teachers
4. In the earl
better lea
provide a
I
Activity 35-2: Choosing Logical Coordinating
Conjunctions
In the following paragraph, select the more appropriate coordinating conjunction
from each pair given in brackets.
In July 1942. magazines all across the United States displayed the U.S. flag on
their covers. The publishers felt that the display was a way to demonstrate loy­
alty to the war effort. [and/but] the display had another meaning to the govern­
ment.The U.S. government used the display to help boost morale, [and/so] gov­
ernment officials also hoped that the display would lead to the sale of more war
bonds.The United States Flag Association selected ten judges to evaluate the
five hundred entries, [for/nor] the display was also part of a contest among the
editors. House and Garden magazine was awarded the cross of honor [and/nor]
received hundreds of requests for cover reproductions.
Example EJ Creating compound sentences by using a semicolon
Payton Randolph was recalled by the Royal Governor; the 33-year-old
Jefferson went in his place.
As responsible custodians of the land, we must consume less fossil fuel; as
responsible citizens of our country, we're told. we must use more plastic.
Activity 35-3: Combining Sentences with
Coordination
Combine each pair of sentences using coordination. Be sure to use a comma be­
fore each coordinating conjunction.
I. Over the years. math teachers have used various aids to help students grasp
abstract concepts. These devices have included the abacus, the slide rule, and
the calculator.
Be precise when you choose
which coordinating conjunction to
use in forming a compound sen­
tence. An imprecise choice can re­
sult in a vague sentence; an incor­
rect choice can result in a
nonsensical one.
Using Semicolons
You can also create compound
sentences by using a semicolon to
join the independent clauses. This
option works best to balance two
short, direct statements that are
closely parallel. Joining two inde­
pendent clauses with only a semi­
colon is also effective when you
want to use rhythm to create em­
phasis. The semicolon keeps the
sentence shorter, which makes the
rhythm sharp.
2. In the nineteenth century, teachers wrote examples on blackboards. Students
used slates to work out problems.
11
l. Teachers also used arithmetic charts. Students often preferred to use models
11
l!
and blocks to learn geometry instead of charts.
Ii
tL
4. In the early twentieth century, math educators believed that students could
Ii
better learn to graph using "squared lines." Graph paper was introduced to
provide a way for students to work out mathematical problems.
FORMING COMPOUND SENTENCES
739
Two common problems arise in
creating compound sentences:
• excessive coordination
• illogical coordination
Excessive coordination occurs
when you string too many inde­
pendent clauses together, thus ob­
scuring the logical relationships be­
tween thoughts. Faced with a
muddle of looselv connected
clauses, the read~r doesn't sec any
formal relationship among ideas.
The ideas simply pile up. Illogical
coordination occurs when ,v ou ei­
ther choose the wrong conjunction
to support your meaning or yoke
together two independent clauses
that have no logical relationship.
Revising Excessive Coordination
First draft
Coordinating conjunctions between independent clauses are highlighted.
The great catllc drive, la'ted but a lew decades, yet the mytholDgy of the
cowhoy remain' one of the mDst compelling
JI1
American lIfe. hut mo,t cowboys
wcre far from the dashing heme' of film and television and more like what ,orne
have cbcrihed as "the proletariat of the prairie:' So what most cowhoys' lives were
really like is captured in ,uch 'ongs as 'The Dreary. Dreary Life" and "The Old
Chisholm Trail" and that lik was mostly lIard work and poor pay. For most cowboys
earned
011
average a doJlar a Jay anJ the work was seasonal anJ jobs were scarce.
Second draft
The great ,'attle drives lasted hut a few decades. yet the mythology of the
cowhoy remains one of the most compelling in American life. Most cowboys.
though. were far from the dashmg hemes of 111m and television and more like whO!
some have described '" "thc proletariat of the prairie." What most cowhoys lives
were really li,-e is captured in such songs as "The Dreary, Dreary Life" and "The
E;
Je
Je
Old Chisholm Trail": hard wor,- and poor pay. Most cowboys earned on average a
dollar a day. The work was seawnal: jobs were scarce.
A
as
Example f£I Revising illogical coordination
Illogical
Revised
Vague
Revised
The great cattle drives lasted only a few decades, and the
mythology of the cowboy remains one of the most compelling
in American life.
The great cattle drives lasted only a few decades, yet the
mythology of the cowboy remains one of the most compelling
in American life.
The big cattle drives were seasonal, and cowboys were often
out of work in the winter.
The big cattle drives were seasonal, so cowboys were often
out of work in the winter.
'i,~f------------------~--------=---------------1
740
pe
en
AI
so
Re
Jefi
an'
ha~
Activity 35-4: Revising Faulty Coordination
III
Revise the paragraph that follows to remove excessive and illogical coordination.
Rewrite it on a separate piece of paper, and exchange papers with a classmate.
Discuss any differences you find.
!ii
iii
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111
!"
The earliest method of voting was with ballot boxes, and the paper ballots
listed names from just one party, yet these ballots were called party tickets. So
ballot boxes and their ballots improved over time and other voting methods
emerged as new technologies developed. Machines were used to capture
votes and these machines proved to be faster and more secure than ballot
boxes for security problems still existed. In the mid-twentieth century, com·
puters changed the face of voting again for now people could fill out ballots
with a number two pencil and these ballots would be read by a computer.
Today, people cast their votes using computers by touching screens and they
may yearn for the paper ballot again.
~ Ii
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jefferson was an awkward public speaker.
jefferson was acknowledged as an eloquent and forceful writer.
!: I
1'1-1
Ii
INOEPlNDHlllLMJSE
Although he was an awkward public speaker, jefferson was acknowledged
as an eloquent and forceful writer. [Notice the comma that follows the de·
pendent clause when it precedes the independent clause. If the independ­
ent clause comes first, no comma is needed.]
Revision emphasizing Jefferson's awkwardness as a public speaker:
DEPENDENT Cl.AUSE
lI'OEPENDmr CLAUSl
Although he was acknowledged as an eloquent and forceful writer, Jeffer.
H1
35ciI'W,Hi
111
When vou want to combine
ii !
. J
' .mto a com~
I,ii II
two simp
e sentences
f
11
'd
I
:I'i i:
p ex sentence, consl er care u y
which of the two ideas you want to
highlight and which you want to
J!
suppress, which you want to make
!
morc important and which you
ji
want to make less so. In terms of
I'
grammatical structure, this means
i! j
placing the idea you want to highi!
light, the more important idea, in
i
the independent clause and the
[i
idea you want to suppress, the less
·j'l !
important idea, in the dependent
t!
clause. Depending on your t o p i c , ! j I
the contrast in meaning can be sub~
!
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i
I
i
II
i
I
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son was an awkward public speaker.
Revision more strongly de-emphasizing jefferson's awkwardness as a speaker:
tIe or substantial. The choice of
APP05lTlVE (A PHRASE, NOT A CLAUSE)
which thought to emphasize and
jefferson, an awkward public speaker, was acknowledged as an eloquent
which to de-emphasize is entirely
up '
to vou, the writer.
and forceful writer. [This sentence is not a complex sentence because i t
_ _ha_s_o_n_l_y_o_n_e_su_b_i_e_ct_._v_er_b_p_a_ir_.]
FORMING
1
iI
Revision emphasizing jefferson's skill as a writer:
DEPENDENT CLAUSl
I'
1:
Forming Complex Sentences
Example 9 Combining two sentences with subordination
1,
COMPLEX SENTENCES
741
Ii I
'I
ii
i
,!
II.. 'I
Ii
...., l-t,.• .:-·\
"'Ii I
ll~_
Using Subordinating
Conjunctions
Be careful to choose the subor­
dinating conjunction that best con­
veys the relationship you want to
establish between the two ideas in
a complex scntence. Subordinating
conjunctions include althouBh,
whereas, whether. because, since, while,
even If. unless, wherever, after, b~fore,
and as. (See page 806 for a more
extensive list of subordinating
conjunctions. )
Subordinating Conjunctions Indicate a Variety
of Relationships
Comparison or contrast
Although most huskies need to be penned up or kept on a lead, my dog Bert
never strays from my yard.
Example
Chasing s
Champ is
Rather than dashing into the next county, Bert just sits there and sniffs and
waits for the squirrels.
The mush
Bert always stays put, whereas Champ takes off in a second if given half a
In driving
the weath
chance.
The race
Cause or effect
I made Champ the lead dog because he's faster, smarter, and stronger than all
the others.
mined rae
Whome
ity, she ha
I let Bert chase squirrels so that he won't chase cats.
Since Bert is so happy being lazy, I just let him be.
Concession
I love myoid mutt Bert, even though all he does is snooze by the fire.
Champ won't quit racing even if he's cold, hungry, and exhausted.
Activity
Subord
Combine eac
relative pron
pendent dau
Condition
I love my husky Champ whether he wins or loses.
When he wins, I feed him raw steak. When he loses, he gets hamburger.
If I let Champ run loose, even for a second, he runs away.
Whenever Champ runs away, it takes hours to find him.
I. Many coi
was foun
2. Gold was
Deal crea
3. The Bure
Time
After racing all day in the snow, Champ takes a nap.
While he's racing, Champ won't stop for anything.
I give him a dog biscuit whenever he asks.
larger tha
safer to c
4. Gold cert
placed by
S. Electroni
coins. Bill
742
35
COORDINATION AND SUBORDINATION
Using Relative Pronouns
Example
~
Subordinating with relative clauses
Bert never met a squirrel that he didn't like.
Chasing squirrels, which is Bert's favorite hobby, keeps him occupied.
Champ is the dog who is in the lead position.
Susan Butcher is the musher whom I most admire.
The musher whose team is strongest isn't always the one who wins.
In driving the Iditarod, you must be willing to take whatever punishment
the weather delivers.
You can also create complex
sentences by using one of the rela­
tive pronouns.
Relative Pronouns
whose
whom
whol'vlT
that
what
whatl'ILT
which
who
The race goes to whoever drives the fastest, smartest, and most deter­ mined race.
Whomever else she may have inspired with her determination and tenac­
ity, she has certainly inspired me with her will.
To decide whether to use a
comma with that and which, see
section 48 f.
Activity 35-5: Combining Sentences with
Subordination
Combine each pair of sentences using either a subordinating conjunction or a
relative pronoun. If you create a subordinate clause that comes before the inde­
pendent clause, be sure to put a comma after the subordinate clause.
I. Many coins and denominations of bills have been around since the U.S. Mint
was founded. American money has changed substantially over the years.
2. Gold was used in the production of American currency until 1933. The New
Deal created by Roosevelt took the country off the gold standard.
3. The Bureau of Engraving and Printing has ceased production of all banknotes
larger than the $100 Federal Reserve notes. Credit cards are believed to be
safer to carry around than high-denomination banknotes.
4. Gold certificates were used for transfers of money until 1960. They were re­
placed by electronic transfers of money.
5. Electronic representations of money may replace the traditional bills and
coins. Bills and coins still have their staunch admirers.
FORMING
COMPLEX
SENTENCES
743
Two common problems arise in
creating cOlnpkx sentences:
• excessive subordination
• illogical subordination
Excessive subordination occurs
when you jumble so many ideas
into a sentence that the reader can
no longer follow your meaning. Il­
logical subordination can occur
when you choose the wrong subor­
dinating conjunction or relative
pronoun to support your meaning.
Revising Excessive Subordination
First draft
Exa
Subordinating conjunctions and relative pronouns are highlighted.
IlIog;
The Iditarod Trail Sled Do~ Race, which officially be~an in 1'i73, honors the
hcroisl11 of the some 20-odd mush"rs and their teams or d()~s who cfllSsed almost
700 miles in 127 hours (about six days) when the trip normally took around three
weeks or more when in early 1<)25 a diphtheria epIdemic threatened the isolated
to\\n or Nome. Althou~h a Pony Express-type relay of do~ leams rushed the serum
aloll~ ils path by far the longe.sl and mmt treacherous leg was taken by Leonhard
Seppala and his lead dog. ·J()~o. who together drove 340 mile, tolal while no other
team drnvc lllore than )3 uuring which all Jogs and llll'1l f~lceJ te1l1reralllr~s or
around 40 degrees helow fero and hliuards of up to XO mph aner whieh Togo",
heroism left him permanently lamed because he never ran another lon~ trip.
Acti
Revise t
Rewrite
Discuss
D
be e."
they
beca
Second draft
The Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Kaee, which officially bc~an in 1'i73, honors the
heroi"ll of Ihe teams or do~s and mushers who in 1925 brought the Seflll11 needed
to stop a diphtheria epidemic threatening isolated Nome. Some 20-odd mushers and
their lealll> or dog, crossed almost 700 miles ill 127 hour, (about six day,)-a trip
thaI normally took at least lhnx w~eks. A Pony Express-type relay of teams rushed
thc serum along its p:lth, battling tempcratures thai hovered at arolilld 40 degrees
below fero and blillarLis or lip to XO Inile, pCI' hOllr. By far the longe" end mo\l
trcaehcrous leg was taken by Leonhard Sepp"la and his lead dog. Togo, who
together drove 340 miles total. No other team drove more than 53. To/Co\ heroism
left him permanently lailled. He ncver ran anotber long trip.
Example IEJ Revising illogical subordination
Illogical
Because the great cattle drives lasted but a few decades. the
mythology of the cowboy remains one of the most compelling
Revised
Even though the great cattle drives lasted but a few decades.
in American life.
the mythology of the cowboy remains one of the most com­
pelling in American life.
..., ,~,---------------------------
744
Revi
COORDINATION AND SUBORDINATION
i
Example ij Shifting the emphasis for logic's sake
Illogical
Buck was a greenhorn, although he surprised everyone with
Revised
his skill in breaking broncos.
Although Buck was a greenhorn, he surprised everyone with
his skill in breaking broncos,
Activity 35-6: Revising Faulty Subordination
Revise the paragraph that follows to remove excessive and illogical subordination.
Rewrite it on a separate piece of paper, and exchange papers with a classmate.
In many sentences, choosing
which clause to make more impor­
tant (the independent clause) and
which to make less important (the
dependent clause) is a matter of
penonal preference. But some sen­
tences become illogical if you place
the less important information in
the independent clause~that is, if
you mistakenly emphasize what
needs to he de-emphasized or vice
versa.
II
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ill
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n-
illt
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Discuss any differences you find.
I, I
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Diamonds, which have long been considered a girl's best friend, may also
be everyone's best friend since they can be used in many applications because
n
ill
they are useful. Many people want to develop synthetic diamond technology
because the uses for diamonds are multiplying. One new technique for devel­
p"
oping diamonds is chemical vapor deposition, which forms diamonds by a
chemical reaction which is much more efficient than other methods for syn­
j'll.
{' I
11 !
thesizing then it can be used to create thin and thick layers of diamonds
which can be used in microprocessors. The durability and stability of diamonds
means that they could be used in an electric car which means that our de­
pendence on fossil fuels could be lessened.
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Activity 35-7, Revising Sentences in
Your Own Writing
II
Hi
,; I
Choose a piece of writing you are working on. Using the methods outlined in
!:'I
III
this chapter, analyze five sentences in a row. Underline independent clauses in
each sentence, and circle dependent clauses. Now consider the ideas in each sen­
Iiiiii
tence,Which sentences have a structure that connects particularly well with the
meaning l Which sentences could you revise to make the structure more effec­
tively reflect the meaning and logic of your ideasl Revise them. What effect does
if
your revision have on the piece overalll
I
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. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - , [ 4 " · ' 1 ' · " ' : ' . 'Ii
-\
REVISING
FAULTY SUBORDINATION
745
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